Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Suletta opened her groggy eyes, shuddering a sigh and curling further into the warm, soft body in her arms. She rested her chin atop soft, silvery hair, taking in the morning light of the sun shining through the drapes.

“Good morning, sleepy-head.”

Suletta looked down, smiling when Miorine turned in her arms and cuddled into her chest. She let out a sigh of contentment, and Suletta couldn’t help but mirror it, absently bringing a hand up to play with her hair.

“What time is it?” Suletta finally croaked. She looked out the window, but the sun barely told her anything more than it was daytime.

“Mm, maybe around eight?” Miorine ran a hand up her arm, gentle caresses leaving Suletta’s heart a mushy mess. “You have class at nine, right?”

Suletta nodded slightly, pulling away from their embrace, as much as she didn’t want to, and sliding off of the bed.

“You could always just skip,” Miorine grunted, crossing her arms over her chest. “Stay here; we can cuddle, watch a movie… whatever you want.”

“I’d love to, Mio-Mio, but I have a test today. Can’t miss it!”

Miorine huffed again, lying back on the comforter with a childlike pout. “Fine, go take your dumb test.”

“I’ll be back, and you can text me whenever if you get bored.”

“But you never respond.”

“I will eventually!” Suletta whined, pulling on her university hoodie over the t-shirt she’d thrown on. Recently, she had half-moved into Miorine’s dorm, so she had stashed a few clothes there.

Miorine liked to steal them. Suletta didn’t mind.

Especially since it meant Miorine’s scent was on basically everything she owned.

“Did you want to go to the library to study tonight?” Suletta asked, turning to the girl who was still lying in bed. Miorine had taken out her phone, and she was scrolling through something.

“Miorine?

“Hmm, sorry? What was the question?”

Suletta sighed, shaking her head at her best friend’s antics. Very rarely did Miorine get distracted; it was usually Suletta who got lost in her own world, so whatever Miorine was doing must have been important.

“I was asking if you still wanted to study at the library. If you’re not busy?”

Miorine put down her phone, sat up, and pulled the covers that were wrapped around her legs aside so she could stand up and walk over to Suletta, who just watched as the shorter girl approached, studying the completely unreadable expression on her very, very pretty face.

“U-Um?” Suletta squeaked, taking a step back when Miorine pressed up against her.

“Suletta.”

“W-W-What is it?” Suletta gulped, pressing up against the wall, stuck between a sturdy plank of wood and Miorine’s small, warm body that she’d been wrapped around not even ten minutes ago.

“I’m never too busy for you.”

“O-Oh,” Suletta gulped, feeling slightly disappointed when Miorine backed away. Not that she had any right to; of course, they were just friends. Miorine didn’t like her like Suletta did; she was certain of that.

“What time are you done with your night classes?” Miorine hummed, collecting some clothes she’d thrown around the room and undressing. Suletta turned away, cheeks flushed, and she cleared her throat.

There was a mirror right in front of her, and if Suletta opened her eyes, she’d be able to see Miorine’s nude body through the reflection.

But they were friends, and friends don’t look at friends when they’re changing!

“A-Ah, s-seven. My last class ends at s-seven,” Suletta stuttered, squeezing her eyes shut and digging her nails into her arm.

She only finally let the grip go when she heard a drawer being slammed shut, and she carefully peeked an eye open to assess the situation.

Suletta let out a breath. Miorine was dressed in a navy blue tank top and tight shorts that reached the middle of her pale, creamy thighs, but Suletta wasn’t thinking dirty thoughts at all.

Because Miorine was a friend—

“How about eight, then? We can pick up dinner afterward.”

Suletta hummed in agreement. “Pizza or Chinese?”

Miorine threw a pair of shoes at Suletta, and she was quick to slip them on.

“Chinese?”

“Sounds good!” Suletta grabbed her bag and stuffed the few books she’d need for advanced physics inside. She barely looked when Miorine threw her pencil case, and she quickly stuffed it in along with her laptop, which had been left to charge on Miorine’s desk.

“I’ll be back by twelve. Will you be here?” Suletta turned her head to look at Miorine, who was now rummaging through the mess that was her desk.

“Mhm,” was all Miorine gave her as a response, clearly focused on whatever it was she was looking for. Which, once again, was super weird because Miorine never got distracted.

“Alright, then, I’ll see you later,” Suletta grinned, giving Miorine a quick side hug and a kiss to her forehead before opening the door to the dorm. When she turned to leave, Miorine spun around, grabbing the collar of her sweatshirt and keeping her in place.

“U-Um, something wrong?”

Miorine stared up at her, unblinking gaze unwavering, and Suletta swallowed the whimper in her throat.

Gentle hands wrapped around her neck, and the cloth of her collar was slowly straightened out, brushing up against her nape and sending shocks to her brain. Miorine’s fingers barely whispered against her skin, but it was enough for Suletta’s face to light up like a Christmas tree. “Much better, you slob.”

Suletta tittered, exhaling when Miorine backed away and returned to sit at her desk, laptop opened to a Word document that Suletta couldn’t make out from where she was standing.

Gracefully, the same fingers that had just sent tingles down her spine clacked at the keys, and Miorine gave barely more than a hum when Suletta said goodbye.

Suletta quickly closed the door behind her, sucking down deep, unsteady breaths. Miorine probably had no idea how she felt.

It was torture, Suletta knew it, to put herself through this. To hug and cuddle and spend all of their time together, only for her to remember that Miorine wasn’t hers because she didn’t feel for Suletta like that.

To Miorine, Suletta was nothing but a best friend.

And Suletta was fine with that. Really, she was; she’d rather stay friends than confess her feelings and ruin everything that they had.

God, she wouldn’t be able to live with that. With not being able to see Miorine anymore, not being able to make her smile or wake up next to her.

And… yeah, maybe they did some things that weren’t conventional for friends, but that was just because they shared a special bond.

A special connection, one that Suletta would rather die than break.

So she’d keep her feelings out of it.

Even if it hurt.

Advanced physics was her only morning class, as much as that sucked, but at times, Suletta really enjoyed the time to herself.

It was time to think about things, about life, about… Miorine.

Her smile, which warmed Suletta's heart, the feeling of her smaller body against hers, her smell, so intoxicating, her hair, soft and fluffy and very fun to play with.

She should have been paying attention—should have used the fifteen minutes that the professor gave her to study, but she couldn’t.

Every time she picked up her pencil, Miorine’s face crashed into her thoughts, the one where she was giggling at a stupid joke Suletta once told. It really wasn’t that funny, but Suletta had made sure to map out every wrinkle, every slight discoloration, every tear, everything.

She'd tell lame jokes over and over and over again if it meant making Miorine laugh.

“You may begin!” The professor’s words cut through the fog in her brain, and Suletta silently cursed herself.

She picked up her pencil, shoving aside Miorine’s musical laughter that filled her ears, and she focused everything she had on the test.

Only that wasn’t true at all.

Suletta stumbled through the door, groaning audibly and flopping on Miorine’s bed. She dropped her bag on the floor, uncaring that her laptop was still inside, only focused on how hard she bombed that test.

“Not good?” Miorine muttered from her spot at her desk, still clacking away on her laptop. Suletta turned her head to look at her, and she just watched as the girl worked.

Miorine was so beautiful, Suletta found it wholly unfair.

Whenever she got lost in her work, the world was lost to her, and Suletta got to witness every part of Miorine without fearing the consequences of being caught staring.

So she took this moment to stare. Take in Miorine’s side profile, the way her lips puckered and her eyes drifted across the screen. Suletta sighed when dainty fingers reached up to brush a lock of pretty silver hair behind a pale ear, and her eyes lingered on the slight movement of Miorine’s lips as she mouthed words that Suletta couldn’t hear.

But Suletta was her friend—nothing more, nothing less. That’s all they were and all they’d ever be, and that was… fine.

She was fine with that.

Yeah, Suletta was okay with it.

“Suletta? Did you hear me?”

The ringing in her ears subsided, and Suletta snapped her gaze up to meet Miorine’s eyes, which were staring into the depths of her heart. She felt a pang of guilt for making the girl worry, but she brushed it off with one of her signature beaming smiles.

“Sorry, sorry, I got distracted. What was it?”

Bile rose in her throat—she had no idea why. Staring at Miorine, knowing that she was allowed to, knowing that Miorine didn’t look at anyone else as she looked at Suletta, it was all too much for her to handle. Too much to think about—denying the feelings swirling in her heart.

Because they were just friends. Nothing more and nothing less.

And yet, seeing how Miorine smiled at her made it all come crashing down.

“I asked how the test went.”

Oh. Suletta swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her throat because those weren’t the ones she needed to say. They were what she wanted to say, but she wouldn’t dare utter them.

So she answered her question instead. “Ah, fine? I’m pretty sure I failed.”

Miorine sighed, lowering her laptop screen and turning her chair to face Suletta. She felt judged under the gaze of bright silver eyes, and Suletta tried to roll over and look out the window instead, but her limbs wouldn’t move. They were too heavy; she was trapped—trapped by Miorine's alluring eyes.

“I told you to study.”

“I-I did! I was… distracted.”

Miorine quirked a brow. She stood up, pulling at the ends of her shorts, which had ridden up a little. Not that Suletta was looking, of course.

“By what?”

Suletta gravely wished Miorine hadn’t asked, but she did because, of course, nothing went the way Suletta wanted it to.

Not with her family, not with school, and certainly not with her best friend, Miorine Rembran.

“A-Ah…” Suletta started. She had no idea what to say or what excuse she could come up with that had a chance of fooling Miorine. It was impossible; Suletta sucked at lying, and Miorine was far too good at telling when she was. “Just… school, I guess?”

“You were distracted by school while taking a school test?” Miorine chortled, moving to sit next to Suletta on the bed.

She was still lying on her stomach, but she turned her head so she could watch as Miorine stretched her arms over her head, revealing bits of pale skin when her tank top rode up.

But Suletta wasn’t looking! Because friends don’t fantasize about their friends' bodies!

“A-Ah, yeah. I was thinking about my engineering project.”

“Oh, you mean the one with that Elan guy? Isn’t that still not due for another two months?”

“Y-Yeah,” Suletta grimaced, averting her gaze when Miorine leaned down to smirk at her.

The lie was slipping through her fingers; she knew it, and Miorine was teasing her. Suletta would have loved to crawl into a hole and sleep forever, but she’d have to settle for rolling away from Miorine and pouting instead.

She stiffened when a small hand came to rest on her head, and then lithe fingers trailed through her curly, red hair, gently scratching at her scalp. Suletta sighed into the touch, shivers trembling down her body until her toes pointed from the feeling of Miorine’s hand caressing her so softly.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” Miorine whispered in a near-silent room. She kept her hand delicately intertwined with locks of fiery red hair, and though Suletta couldn’t see, she could feel the smile that was no doubt on her pretty lips.

And Suletta desperately wanted to see, so she turned back, mouth parted in wonder at the sheer beauty that was Miorine Rembran.

Her best friend.

Just her friend.

“I would like to know if it’s something that gets in the way of your studies, though.” Miorine booped her nose before moving to stand up, and Suletta bit back a whine when her soft hand left its place on her head. She missed the touch immediately, wishing she could feel it all the time.

“It’s… it’s nothing like that, promise,” Suletta tittered, “It’s really nothing important. I’ll forget it in no time,” she lied. The words left a sour taste in her mouth.

“If you say so,” Miorine gave her a fleeting glance before heading back to her desk and sitting down. “I have to finish this essay really quick, but after, I’m good to hang out for a while until your next class?”

Suletta smiled. Yeah, they’re friends, and friends spend time together, they cuddle, they share food and…

They don’t kiss, so she really needed to stop staring at Miorine’s lips—

“Sounds good.”

—But, dang it, they were just so pretty.

“No, no, come on, look at it again.”

Suletta whined, smacking her head on the desk and shuddering a groan. Miorine sat across from her, clearly unamused, resting her head in a palm and gently poking Suletta with the other.

“It’s too hard.”

“You say that on each one.”

“It’s true this time!”

Miorine sighed. Suletta heard her shift, and she turned her head slightly so she could see what the girl was doing.

Which… she wasn’t really sure?

“Uh, Miorine?”

Miorine placed her bag on the library’s table, and she quickly began shoving textbooks inside before zipping it up.

“A-A-Are you leaving? I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t—”

Suletta shut up when Miorine glared at her, and she whimpered as Miorine’s shoulders slumped. She was clearly thinking about something—a decision, perhaps? Suletta had no idea.

Miorine pushed off from her chair, gracefully striding over to Suletta’s side of the table and placing her hands on her hips.

Suletta stared at her, eyebrows raised curiously, completely in the dark over what Miorine was doing.

“Scoot back.”

Suletta flushed, lifting her head and quickly doing what she was told. “A-Ah, o…kay—”

She had no idea what she was expecting. She could rarely read Miorine. Suletta was an open book, whereas Miorine was a locked diary, and the pages were all blank.

“Stay still.” Miorine threw a leg over her thighs and sat in her lap, facing Suletta and staring into her eyes, giving the girl absolutely no room to move away.

“M-M-M-Mi—” Suletta stuttered, only stopping when Miorine placed a finger to her lips.

“Stop it,” Miorine demanded, and Suletta quickly swallowed the rest of her words. She sat back, arms at her sides, unsure of what to do with her friend straddling her thighs.
“Put your hands around me, dork.”

Suletta flushed, but she obliged, circling the small of Miorine’s back with her larger hands and stiffly holding her there.

“God, you’re awful at this,” Miorine sighed. Suletta let herself be dragged forward, and she shuddered a sigh when her head was brought down to rest against Miorine’s collarbone. Miorine held a hand to the back of her head, gently raking her fingers through Suletta’s hair, just how she liked it.

They stayed like that for a moment, Suletta’s breaths heavy against Miorine’s much slower, calmer ones. She tried not to fidget, but she couldn’t help but rub her thumbs along Miorine’s back or gently shake her knee.

“M-Mio?”

Miorined hummed in acknowledgment. Suletta soon realized she had no idea what she was trying to say to her. Her heart was pounding against her ribs, and she really, really, really hoped Miorine couldn’t hear it.

“Is this better?” Miorine ended speaking.

No—Yes

“U-Um.”

“Just hug me,” Miorine gruffed, clearly annoyed, and Suletta squeaked, wrapping her hands tighter around Miorine’s smaller waist and letting her cheek rest against Miorine’s chest. Her heart was beating too… it was fast, but that was probably just from the proximity.

Because they were just friends.

Miorine felt nothing but friendship for her—nothing more, nothing less.

“If it's too hard… I'll help,” Miorine began, lightly scratching at the little hairs on Suletta's nape. “Whatever it is. School, personal, I don't care. I'm your friend, Suletta, so if you need help, just… ask me, okay?”

Suletta held back an undignified sniffle, but she couldn't stop the faint tear sliding down her cheek.

God, it'd be so easy to give in, to tell Miorine everything< to finally get these feelings off of her chest.

But, oh, drat, she just couldn't do it.

“M’ fine. I think I'm just tired,” Suletta whispered against Miorine's collarbone, taking advantage of their close proximity and eagerly drinking in Miorine's scent.

Like vanilla and cinnamon.

“Just know that you can rely on me, Suletta. We’re friends, right?”

Rely on me.

Just friends.

God, it was so contradictory that it hurt. Suletta buried further into Miorine’s embrace, finding both comfort and pain on the other side.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you, Suletta.” Miorine’s soft voice tickled her ear. “And I do hope you’ll trust me enough to tell me…”

It has nothing to do with trust, Mio.

“...But in the meantime, I’ll be here for you to lean on, okay?”

Suletta nodded, weak in body and soul. Weak in the mind. Weak.

Useless, in every sense of the word. Suletta held back a choked sob. Her lips quivered, and she squeezed her eyes shut, cuddling as close as she could to her best friend.

…Just her friend…

A loud growl broke the silence, which had been neither comfortable nor awkward. It was just silent.

Well, now it wasn’t. Now Suletta's stomach was growling like a lion, and Miorine was laughing.

And it sounded so sweet.

“Don't I always tell you not to order the spicy one?”

“But it only had one pepper!” Miorine groaned, pushing her takeout box of noodles and beef across the coffee table and toward Suletta, who took it without protest.

“It's literally called spicy beef, Mio-Mio.”

Miorine pouted, taking Suletta's container of orange chicken and rice. It was cute seeing her all hung up on her pride. Suletta knew that Miorine hated how she couldn’t handle spicy and how Suletta could.

Or how Suletta pretended she could because, frankly, she hated spice too. But she’d do anything for Miorine, even swap food she liked for food she didn’t like. Anything if it meant Miorine was comfortable.

Friends make sure friends are comfortable, right?

Suletta was about to take her chopsticks from the takeout container, but Miorine already had them in her hand, and Suletta's eyes widened when she picked up a piece of chicken and put it in between her pretty, pink lips, closing them around the tips of the wood that Suletta had once placed against her own tongue.

“Mm, that's much better.”

Suletta swallowed her spit, fidgeting as her mind replayed the supposedly innocent scene over and over again.

That was an indirect kiss? Wasn't it?

Suletta bit her lip, watching as Miorine eagerly ate with the chopsticks that had been in Suletta's mouth, and she really, really, really tried not to blush. She tried hiding in her noodles and spicy beef, holding back a cough when the spice hit the back of her throat.

It was a worthy distraction from her friend swapping spit with her, even if it was indirectly.

“Oh!” Miorine looked up, eyes sparkling with mirth. She leaned forward, grasping a piece of chicken and holding it out to Suletta.

She stared at it stupidly, eyes going from the delicious-looking food to the chopsticks and finally to the small amount of sauce on the corner of Miorine's lips.

“What are you waiting for, dummy?” Miorine sighed, rolling her eyes at Suletta's stammering.

“S-Sorry!” Suletta leaned forward, eyes never wavering from Miorine's silver gaze, and she gently brought the food into her mouth, trying not to think about the chopsticks and focusing instead on the explosive flavor of the juicy chicken.

“Mm, that's really good,” Suletta chuckled, wiping her mouth and licking the sauce from her hand.

She looked up, realizing Miorine was watching her, and she shrunk back in embarrassment.

“A-Ah, sorry.”

Miorine huffed, scooting closer on the couch so that their shoulders bumped together, despite the height difference.

“... You're cute when you're happy.”

Suletta gaped, her face going as red as her hair, and what seemed to be a half-squeal half-wheeze left her throat.

“W-W- I, uh, I- er!”

Miorine held a hand over her mouth, giggling into it, obviously finding immense amusement in Suletta’s blushed stuttering.

“N-No fair, Mio!” Suletta whined, crossing her arms in front of her chest and pouting. Miorine was still laughing, louder, happier, and it filled Suletta’s stomach with aggressive butterflies.

She made her friend laugh, and her friend had such a pretty voice.

Suletta hid with another piece of spicy beef, but she quickly regretted it, holding back tears and coughing into her fist. Miorine seemed to notice, and she stopped laughing. She reached over to hand Suletta her water and urged her to drink.

And the only thing Suletta could focus on was how Miorine’s lips touched this bottle.

“You’re really warm.”

“...sorry.”

Miorine flicked her forehead, and Suletta reeled back.

“H-Hey! W-What—”

“Hush. I’ve got class at eight tomorrow, so shut up and hug me.” Miorine scolded, scooting back into Suletta’s arms, despite the panic clear on the girl’s face. Either she didn’t notice, or she didn’t care, both leaving Suletta with nothing else to do but throw her arm over Miorine’s waist.

“You’ve been acting strange, Suletta,” Miorine whispered, fingers tracing light patterns on the back of her hand. Suletta swallowed, feeling her heart move forward and her mind pull back.

No, wrong, bad Suletta. Just friends!

“Did I do something wrong?”

Suletta whimpered, locking her hand around Miorine’s waist. She wasn’t sure what to say because no, Miorine didn’t do anything wrong, but she was still the cause of Suletta’s problems.

Perhaps that was a little unfair to her. Miorine wasn’t the cause of her problems; rather, she was the catalyst. Suletta’s inability to sort her emotions was her own fault.

“You didn’t do anything, Mio-Mio,” Suletta finally answered, croaking into the back of Miorine’s neck.

Silence permitted over the deafening sound of her own heart, but in the end, it did little to hide the sniffle that came from the girl in front of her.

“...then why don’t you… trust me?” Miorine’s voice cracked, and Suletta felt tears pool in her eyes when Miorine’s soft hand squeezed her own.

Suletta was quick to pull back, half-straddling Miorine’s chest and leaving her legs to the side. Miorine rested on her back, looking up at Suletta with tears shining on her gorgeous silver eyes and her pretty pink lips trembling.

“Don’t cry, Mio,” Suletta smiled, her vision blurring and wet splotches dropping onto Miorine’s cheek. It was easy for her to imagine they were Miorine’s tears, but she wasn’t an idiot.

Either way, Suletta dragged a careful thumb across the wetness, biting her lip when Miorine quivered under her.

“Then tell me what’s wrong with you,” Miorine gasped, furrowing her brow in what seemed to be an attempt at being intimidating. Usually, it would work, but Suletta was far too focused on keeping her breath steady to notice.

“I… can’t.”

“Why not!”

“I just can’t, Miorine!” Suletta didn’t mean to raise her voice, but she did, anyway. “I can’t tell you. I want to, but I can’t, okay?”

Miorine glared at her. Suletta winced.

“Fine.”

Miorine pushed her away, and the touch felt like a gunshot to her heart. She stood up from the bed, brushing a strand of silver hair off her shoulder and huffing.

“W-Where are you going?”

“I’m going to do some work.”

“Miorine, it’s late. Don’t you have class?”

“I’ll sleep after.”

“Miorine—”

Suletta shut up when Miorine whipped to her, tears streaming down her face.

“You are such… such an idiot, Suletta!” Miorine spat. She was furious, fists shaking and lips trembling. “I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but it’s obvious you’re far too locked up in yourself to notice what’s going on around you.”

Suletta’s words died on her tongue. What?

“I- What do you—”

“I just need some space for a little bit, okay?” Miorine turned away. Suletta couldn’t bear to look at her, anyway.

She could read through the lines. Despite Miorine’s words, Suletta wasn’t an idiot.

It was as clear as day.

Get out.

Suletta pulled the sheets aside, heart hammering in her chest. She stood on shaky legs, letting out shuddering breath after shuddering breath, but it didn’t feel like any oxygen was reaching her head.

“...Is that really what you want?”

Miorine still wasn’t looking at her, and Suletta swallowed the swelling lump in her throat. It felt like her entire world was crashing down around her.

Because Miorine was her only world, wasn’t she?

How the hell did she go and fuck things up without even confessing her feelings?

Suletta bit her tongue, hoping the pain would stop the sob that threatened to burst from her throat.

Why?

Her legs finally moved, though she could barely feel them. Suletta brushed past Miorine, staring at her, begging, pleading, praying that she’d turn around and say something, say she was joking, a sick, twisted joke, and that she wanted Suletta to stay.

But she didn’t. She still stared out the damn window, avoiding Suletta, avoiding this problem they so clearly had.

Oh, hell, what could Suletta say? The only thing she ever did was avoid.

Avoid her family, avoid her responsibilities, and avoid her best friend, Miorine Rembran.

“Okay.” The word flitted into the silence, breaking it and sealing what was to come of their relationship.

It was just a break, though, right? Miorine would come around. She was a level-headed girl, s-so there was no way Miorine wouldn’t ever talk to her again, right?

Suletta slipped on her shoes and opened the dorm door, feeling how her chest strained with each rampant breath. She was hyperventilating, it was clear, and yet, Miorine still didn’t look at her.

God, this was serious.

Suletta fucked up, fucked up by being herself. There was never any hope to be more than friends, and apparently, never any hope to be just friends, either.

Because that’s all she ever did—fuck up.

Chapter Text

“She's just so—” Miorine growled, wrapping her fingers around the air as if strangling a person’s neck.

Shaddiq sat in front of her, an amused quirk on his brow, and she really wanted to slap it off.

“So, what you're saying is…” Shaddiq traced his finger around the rim of his glass. They were sat outside on the patio of a cafe, Miorine's back to the world and Shaddiq's to the rest of the venue. “... she's hiding something from you, so you kicked her out?”

Miorine's breath hitched before letting out a low growl. “Yes, I was angry and didn't know what to do.”

“I doubt kicking your best friend out of your shared bed was the right call.”

Miorine growled again, but she knew Shaddiq was right. She was just so… frustrated with Suletta and her obliviousness.

Hell, Miorine had almost kissed her a grand total of four times, and the girl still didn't get it!

“So, what are you planning to do now?”

“Fuck! I don't know!” Miorine snapped, angrily clutching her mug of coffee between her hands. “I told her I needed space, but I don't want fucking space, Shaddiq! I want that idiot to realize I like her.”

Shaddiq hummed, clearly amused. “Have you tried, I don't know… speaking to her?”

“...No.”

“And why not?”

Miorine bit her lip. Why? The answer was simple.

She was afraid. She was scared that admitting to her best friend that she'd liked her ever since they first met—when Miorine had been soaked in rain, and Suletta lent her her umbrella and jacket—would ruin everything.

“I don't know.”

“That's not a very good reason.”

“I don't give a damn if it's a good reason!” Miorine bit back, clearly vexed. Shaddiq looked at her with those dumb, piercing eyes, and Miorine felt well and truly judged.

Honestly, she deserved it for being such an idiot, for letting her emotions get the best of her and causing the pain on Suletta's expression that constantly hid behind her eyelids.

“God, I'm just so… tired.”

Shaddiq hummed thoughtfully. “Didn't sleep well?”

No, how could she? Without Suletta, she was cold, and the mattress was hard, and her heart thrummed too painfully loud for sleep to find her.

“What- what should I do, Shaddiq?”

He blew out a frustrated breath, and Miorine glared at him.

“Please, Miorine,” he started, taking a sip of his iced coffee. “Just… talk to her?”

“Do I have another option?”

Shaddiq gave her the look, the one that translated to: “Don't be a fucking idiot.”

Which she deserved. Miorine was being a fucking idiot, and she was more than a little aware of that. But, really, how could she not?

Three years. Three fucking years and Suletta still had no idea. Maybe Miorine was a fucking idiot, but Suletta was by far a fucking-er idiot.

“Fuck,” Miorine groaned, lightly knocking her knuckles against her sore temples. She was at her wit’s end, her mind’s breaking point, her heart’s last shuddering throb, and all she wanted to do was go back to her dorm and fall asleep in Suletta’s arms.

But, oh, fuck, she told her to leave, and knowing Suletta, she’d stay away until Miorine told her to come back.

So all she had to do was tell her to come back, right? But should she? Miorine saw the look on Suletta’s face when she left. As soon as the door closed behind her, Miorine had stared at it until her legs quaked and her eyes burned from the tears in her eyes.

Stupid, rash, idiot Miorine, too cowardly to say three simple words.

Stupid, rash, idiot Suletta, too… oblivious to realize best friends do not sleep together. This would be so much easier if Suletta had just picked up on her plethora of hints.

It wasn’t like they were hard to pick up on, either. Hell, their friends had picked up on it almost immediately, and Miorine had gone through a ton of teasing at the hands of Chuchu and Nika because of it. She hoped that meant she was being obvious enough that Suletta would finally notice.

But Suletta was a fucking idiot, as she’d repeated. A sweet, endearing, gentle, loving, bumbling country-bumpkin of a fucking idiot.

“You’re flushing, Miorine,” Shaddiq had been staring at her in silence for what was probably five minutes, just watching as Miorine slowly delved further and further into her mental spiral. She snapped her eyes up to him, glaring, and lifted the corner of her mouth in disgust.

“I really do think you could solve this easily.” Shaddiq took another sip of his coffee and licked the milk from his upper lip. “You just need to put your pride behind you and talk to her.”

“I-It’s not pride!” Miorine snapped, cheeks flushed in anger. “It has nothing to do with my damn pride, Shaddiq!”

“So you admit you have pride.”

“Of course I have fucking pride!”

Shaddiq chortled. Miorine fantasized about choking him.

“Here, give me your phone.”

Miorine eyed him carefully. “Why?”

“Please?”

“No, you’re being suspicious.”

Shaddiq soughed, leaning forward and clasping his hands together. “I’ll tell you what, Rembran…”

Shit, he only called her that when he was getting angry.

“...You’re going to give me your phone; I’m going to open your contacts, click on the stupid heart and tomato emojis, and tell Suletta to meet you at the fountain.”

The fountain… where they met?

“And why would I let you do that?”

“Because you obviously miss her,” Shaddiq seethed, hand still held out, urging Miorine to give him her phone. She couldn’t, though—couldn’t face Suletta in this state.

Because she knew that the second she spotted red, curly hair, she would jump into her arms and kiss her, and then there’d be no going back.

“No.”

Shaddiq looked about ready to burst a blood vessel. Miorine knew she could be challenging to deal with, but he really didn’t need to get so worked up about things.

“I don’t want to ruin everything.”

“Miorine, honey, you already have.”

Miorine sealed her lips, feeling emotions bubble in her chest and well in her eyes. Yeah, he was right, wasn’t he? She already messed it all up.

“So, I’m giving you an ultimatum here. You don’t even have to text her since I know you won’t either way. All you have to do is meet at the fountain, talk to her, and finally tell her how you feel.”

“What if she doesn’t feel the same way?” Miorine started, feeling her hands clam up from nerves and her throat tighten at the feeling of tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. “What if- what if she thinks I’m gross? What if she tells me she needs space? What if—”

Shaddiq placed a comforting hand over hers, and Miorine drank down greedy breaths of air, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to expel the rampaging emotions that threatened to tear her in half.

Why was she so stupid?

“Miorine,” Shaddiq’s voice was warm and steady, like a piece of dry land among an endless ocean that Miorine was drowning in. His brotherly voice—the one that anchored her. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you…”

How? How does Suletta look at her?

“...like you’re her entire world.”

Miorine pressed her palms to her eyes, but she wasn’t fast enough, and tears slipped through, ruining the light amount of makeup she’d put on for this little adventure into the public eye. Despite her inner protests and a few outer protests, she hiccuped, shaking her head as if saying no to her emotions and saying no to whatever fucked up universe liked toying with her.

Because there’s no way, right? Suletta was her friend.

…Nothing more, nothing less.

Miorine eventually calmed down. Her chest shuddered with each breath, and the air felt cold and tender in her lungs. Through the swirl of emotions, some clarity persisted, and she finally handed her phone over to Shaddiq, who took it gratefully.

“I’ll keep it short and simple. I want you to tell her everything.”

“...Everything?”

“Every little thing. Everything you’ve told me and everything you haven’t—all of it—talk to her.”

Miorine swallowed dryly, slowly nodding as Shaddiq handed her phone back. She stared at the screen, eyes roaming across the simple message that was filling her with so much dread.

It had been three years, yes, but Miorine still remembered it all clearly.

With eyes full of tears, Miorine rushed out of her house, uncaring that rain was pouring and the wind blew cold against her bare skin.

She just needed to get away. Her father had controlled every aspect of her life, but she refused to let him control this part.

Because Miorine knew, deep down, that she couldn’t marry Guel Jeturk, she couldn’t marry any man her father picked for her.

She couldn’t marry any man at all.

Miorine hated it, but it was useless to deny her own attraction. It all started with Yushura, her first girlfriend and first love, the one she’d die for—the one her father had taken from her.

Miorine couldn’t stand to look him in the eye anymore, so she ran. She ran out into the pouring rain and cried, screaming out to the dark sky and hoping that the universe would hear her. Miorine hardly cared what happened to her out here, hardly cared as the rain soaked her clothes to her skin and left her a shivering, trembling mess, hypothermia quickly setting in and hollowing the remaining bits of her heart out.

She kept running. Miorine didn’t know where she was going. She just let her feet decide, and she let the universe decide.

A painfully familiar fountain came into view. Miorine hadn’t been here in what? Years? Not since before her mother died, at least.

It felt right, though. Miorine slowed her aggressive run to a shuffling trot, legs tingling from the strain and lungs burning with each wet breath she sucked down.

Miorine reveled in the pain because she deserved it. She deserved it for being wrong, for loving wrong, for pretending like she could be happy with a woman, knowing who her father was and what responsibilities she had to uphold.

She was the heiress to the company, and she’d need an heir. Miorine couldn’t have an heir if she were gay.

So, her father’s solution to that was simple. Make her marry a man.

The edge of the fountain was just as soaked as she was, cracked, and covered in untamed growth. The once beautiful stone visage of a dove carrying an olive branch had all but deteriorated, leaving no clues as to what it used to be.

Miorine stared at it and felt her tears stain her cheeks.

If only someone had taken care of this beautiful place, then it wouldn't have been lost. If only she hadn't been too cowardly to come back and take away its pain.

Like her.

Desperately, she wanted someone to come to her, wipe the water off her skin, fix the cracks in her heart and soul, and prune the vines wrapped around her heart.

She was smarter than to expect something as silly as that. She was Miorine Rembran, after all, and Miorine Rembran was far too important to—

“H-Hello?”

Miorine whipped around, eyes wide and breath hitched as she took in the sight before her.

There was a girl standing a little ways away, close enough for Miorine to tell her gender and that her hair was bright, fiery, and red, but not close enough to see much else.

Either way, Miorine knew the person would just leave when she saw how broken Miorine truly was, so she didn't bother being civil. “What the hell do you want?”

The girl squeaked, seemingly sinking into herself. Miorine only just now noticed the umbrella over her head, keeping her dry, and the coat around her shoulders, keeping her warm.

Miorine had never felt this much blinding, furious envy in her life.

“Y-You should get out of the rain, Miss!” The girl called, taking a tentative step forward. Miorine decided to let her; she decided her heart wasn't broken enough and that she should break it more.

“Y-you're soaked! And y-you look really cold!”

Miorine looked down at her tank top, stuck to her skin, and her sweatpants, which felt heavy around her waist.

“What about you?” Miorine finally replied, watching as the figure slowly took step after step closer, as if a deer approaching a bobcat.

As she stepped closer, more details of her face revealed themselves to her. Miorine's eyes first settled on her nose, which was red and sniffling, then her cute red ears, decorated with piercings. They drifted to her lips, plump, red, and soft, and then finally her eyes.

Blue. No, no, not blue. Azure, maybe? Sapphire? Cerulean? Aqua?

The ocean. Yes, that was it. The girl's eyes swirled like the deepest, most exquisite ocean.

“D-Do y-you mind if I s-sit here?” Her voice soughed against the rain, and Miorine barely heard it, but she nodded anyway.

“M-My name's Suletta,” the girl, Suletta, reached a hand out for her to take. Miorine stared at it, noticing how much bigger it was, and a slight sense of fear washed over her.

But Miorine was far too soaked, cold, and despaired to take the offer, even if it would pull her to warmth and comfort. There was no point in trying when she was already this wet.

Suletta hesitated before drawing her hand back, and she gently took a seat on the edge of the fountain, a small ways away from her. Miorine couldn’t help but stare at her side profile, out of curiosity, of course, and not just because she was quite pretty.

Miorine sniffled, wiping her nose with her wrist and trying not to cry. It was hard, even with Suletta’s presence providing somewhat of a rock for her emotions to grapple onto; she still had too much going on in her head to appreciate it.

The wind howled, and the rain seemed to trickle, and Miorine watched, eyes wide, as Suletta handed her the umbrella. She watched, perplexed, as rain dampened red, curly hair and splattered against bronzed freckled cheeks, and Miorine could do little more but gape.

The umbrella provided some respite, but the deep chill in her bones made her tremble.

Suletta noticed.

She moved closer, if ever so slightly, and removed her jacket. Miorine’s lips parted in awe, eyes trailing up the slight bulges of muscles under the girl’s skin, and her breath hitched when she felt the article of clothing rest around her shoulders.

It was warm, and it smelt really, really good.

Miorine locked eyes with Suletta’s, unable to pull away. She fiddled with the sleeves draped over her shoulders, pulling them close and huddling into as small of a ball as she could.

Miorine couldn’t shake the image of Suletta, now just as soaked as she was, trembling but beaming at her like everything was fine.

Seconds passed in complete silence, and guilt slowly ate at Miorine’s chest, a constant reminder that all she did was take and take and take.

So, for once, Miorine decided to give.

“...Come here,” Miorine finally said, opening the jacket out for Suletta to slide in. The girl looked at her for a moment, clearly pondering, before she scooted toward her and wrapped the jacket around her admittedly broader shoulders.

Miorine felt warmth course through her body as she rubbed up against Suletta’s side, felt her smooth skin against her arm, and took in deep breaths of her addicting, tantalizing scent.

Cherry rose and petrichor—how fitting.

Rain pattered on the umbrella, shielding them both. Miorine was so, so tired that she didn’t realize it when she dropped her head on Suletta’s shoulder and closed her eyes. She listened intently to the rain against the pavement, the beating of her heart, and the soft sounds of air blowing from Suletta’s lips.

Her arms wrapped around Suletta’s waist, pulling the girl close, mentally writing down the surprised squeak from the girl. She didn’t care. Miorine liked her warmth, her smell, her feeling pressed up against her body.

Like perfect puzzle pieces—meshing together and finishing the puzzle that was Miorine Rembran’s life.

“Miorine.”

Suletta whipped toward her.

“My name… it’s Miorine,” she huffed.

As if the world was crumbling around her, Miorine grimaced, taking in the sight of plump, red lips, smiling at her like she was the only person in the world.

She might as well be. Miorine hid her face in Suletta’s neck, knowing that it was a strange thing to do to a stranger but also knowing she was far too upset to care right now.

“It’s nice to meet you, Miss Miorine.”

The honorific made her sigh, but she didn’t correct her. Miorine stayed bundled up, umbrella shielding her already damp hair from the rain, the jacket on her shoulders keeping her warm, and her face buried in Suletta’s nape, holding desperately onto her last remaining dignity as soft tears squeezed from her eyes.

“We should get out of the rain,” Suletta whispered, voice lilting against the backdrop of rain and wind and tickling Miorine’s ears.

She nodded, but Miorine didn’t want to move out of Suletta’s embrace. It was too comfortable, too warm, too reminiscent of her mother’s loving hugs.

“Few more minutes?” Miorine pleaded. She watched emotions flit across Suletta’s ocean eyes before finally landing on one she knew all too well.

Resignation.

“Okay, but then I’m taking you home.”

Miorine grumbled, shaking her head. She couldn’t go home—wouldn’t, not like this.

“How about… my dorm, then?” Suletta cocked her head, and Miorine should have pulled away, said no, ran away, whatever, but she didn’t.

No, she nodded. She nodded and gazed at Suletta’s beaming presence, unable to hold back a small smile of her own.

This stranger—this… girl. Suletta, warm like a spring morning after winter’s bane. Her hands around Miorine’s waist, firm, graceful, comforting. Her scent, petrichor, cherry roses, beautiful and intoxicating.

Suletta’s smile, bright like the sun after a week of thunderstorms. A rock for Miorine to hold on to while the storm that was her mind ripped at her body.

Miorine blinked at the screen, eyes darting from the time it was sent to the simple words and finally to the small signal at the bottom that told her Suletta had seen her message.

So why wasn’t she here?

Miorine sat at the fountain. It was dry, and the cracks had mostly been filled in. Miorine had spent some time recently pruning some of the vines around the dove statue, taking in its beauty for all it was meant to be.

But it was all a distraction.

Because Suletta wasn’t here.

Ten minutes after she was set to arrive, and Miorine was sweating. An inconsolable urge threatened to burst from her heart, and an incessant lump formed at the edge of her throat, bobbing with each shuddering breath that passed her lips.

Suletta wasn’t coming, was she?

Miorine checked the message again, reloading, reloading again, and reloading once more, hoping her internet was just splotchy and Suletta had texted her.

But nothing came through. Miorine stared at the message, eyes squinted in anger and sadness, and she clutched the phone in her hand.

Of course, this was a stupid idea. Shaddiq had no idea what he was talking about.

Talking to Suletta wouldn’t fix anything. Telling her everything, everything she told Shaddiq, and everything she didn’t, wouldn’t make the girl do anything but run away, call her gross, and leave her forever.

Like her mother. Miorine’s vision blurred with tears at the realization.

Suletta was gone, like mother, and it was all her fault. If only she’d controlled her emotions, not gotten angry, not—not gotten feelings involved.

They could have just been friends. Miorine would be fine with that, fine with watching Suletta date others and eventually get married and have kids and—

Miorine choked a sob, resting her head in her palms and muffling her despaired yells as much as she could. Because, fuck, who was she kidding? Even the idea of losing Suletta had her a blubbering mess, so seeing her leave and love someone else? There was no chance in hell Miorine would be okay with that.

She’d try, though, if it meant Suletta was happy. That’s all it was, really, happiness. If Suletta wasn’t happy with her, then—

Then she’d leave.

Miorine stood on shaky legs, her heart feeling as if it was slowly torn in two, and she pocketed her phone with a trembling hand. There was no point in checking the message anymore because she knew there’d be no text.

It was over, and soon, Suletta would take her clothes and things back, and they’d never talk to each other again. Miorine would change her sheets and blankets and cry at the smell of clean flowers instead of cherry roses and petrichor.

All of the food in her dorm would go back to being cup noodles, and she’d accidentally grab a spicy one and send it across the table, knowing Suletta wouldn’t be there to take it.

Miorine felt like shit for always making her eat it. She could tell Suletta didn’t like it.

All this time, she had been such an awful friend, too focused on her own feelings to take the time to consider Suletta’s feelings. Because, fuck, Suletta hated spice. She hated being too hot, and no doubt, cuddling with Miorine every night made her miserable.

Miorine made her miserable for what? For her own selfishness? For her own fears and tribulations, unable to handle the grown-up emotions of watching her friend leave her?

Miorine should never have taken that umbrella, should never have opened the jacket for Suletta to scoot in, and should never have told her her name or let her bring her home.

She never should have met Suletta Mercury because she’d done nothing but be selfish, possessive, and cruel.

That was the curse of a Rembran, wasn’t it? Yushura—Yushura should have been a warning, but Miorine didn’t heed it.

And here she was again, selfish, possessive, and cruel, holding Suletta down and stopping her from sprouting. What would the girl be doing if she didn’t feel like she had to stay with her? What could she have done? Who could she have met?

How much of Suletta’s life had Miorine kept from her?

It hurt to think about, to imagine, to realize that, yes, without Miorine, Suletta would be so much happier.

To realize that if it weren’t for her, Suletta would have gone to the university she always wanted to, got the job she’d always dreamed of, and gotten together with that Elan guy who she used to talk about.

Miorine realized that all she had done was shackle Suletta down.

And it broke the remaining pieces of her heart, plunging them into her side and keeling over as silent sobs choked from her throat.

To never again feel Suletta’s warmth, to never again see her beaming, bright smile, to never again bury her head into her soft hair and take in her scent, to never—

To never see Suletta again.

On the seventh night, at exactly eight o’clock, Miorine slipped into bed and stared up at the ceiling. She tried not to fidget, tried to close her eyes, tried to let slumber overtake her, but it was a fruitless endeavor.

The mattress was stiff against her back, and the covers on her body were too thin to bring any kind of soothing warmth. Miorine shivered, wrapping herself up, fantasizing it was Suletta’s arm over her waist, comforting her and her lips whispering sweetly into her ear, tickling the back of her neck with her soft lips.

Her mind wandered. Miorine dreamt of one day finally getting the chance to kiss her. Well, now that was simply a fantasy.

Miorine rolled over onto Suletta’s side of the bed, which no longer smelled like her. It pained her to have had to wash her sheets, knowing that laying in her own filth wouldn’t do anything but make her even more depressed.

But, still, Miorine couldn’t shake the fact that most of Suletta was just… gone.

However, Miorine was thankful that Suletta hadn’t returned to pick up her things and that she could still hug onto the stupid shark plushie that her friend insisted on hanging on to, even if she didn’t sleep with it anymore.

They talked about it, and Miorine still remembered how her heart burst when Suletta revealed that she didn’t need the plush anymore because she had Miorine instead.

At the time, she’d gotten mock offended for being compared to a plush, of all things, but the anger wasn’t in her. She was far too busy tracing the curve of Suletta’s smile and the shine in her eyes to feel anything more than fluttering in her too-tight chest.

Tears dampened the plush. Miorine, in any other circumstances, would have tried to wipe them away to preserve her dignity, but it felt nice to cry into it. It provided some warmth, some small traces of Suletta’s smell, and some pieces of her comfort.

So, even if it wasn’t as good, crying into the shark plushie felt like crying into Suletta’s shoulder, sobbing as warm hands wrapped around the small of her back and held her close.

Seven days since Miorine felt Suletta’s presence. Seven days since her dorm felt so terribly empty. Seven days since she told the girl she loved more than the world itself to get out and that she needed space.

…Maybe…

Miorine quickly rolled over, getting tangled in her sheets. She grabbed her phone, opened Suletta’s contact, scrolled and scrolled endlessly until she got what she was looking for. It was an address for a dorm on campus; one Miorine hadn’t committed to memory just yet because she never needed to visit there.

Since Suletta was always in her dorm, there was no point in remembering.

Miorine was so terribly thankful that it was kept in their conversation, at the very least. And, not knowing if this would be the last time, Miorine quickly wrote it down and repeated the address in her mind until it stuck.

Suletta Mercury, Main Hall, Section 3, Room 122.

In nothing but a tank top and sweatpants, Miorine leaped to her feet, rushing out of her dorm and bounding down the steps of the building. Suletta’s dorm was on the other side of the campus, but Miorine couldn’t find it within herself to care.

Stepping out into the harsh night, Miorine looked up, cheeks wettened by drops of chilling rain. She hardly cared.

Cold bit against her pale skin. She hardly cared.

Her feet hurt with each pound against the cement as she picked up speed, her mouth hanging open in loud, exasperated pants, her lungs shuddering with the exertion of running—Miorine hardly cared. A feeling of hope bubbled in her chest.

If Suletta wouldn’t come to her, she’d just go to Suletta instead.

It didn’t feel right to leave. For once, Miorine wanted to be selfish. She wanted to be greedy, possessive, and cruel; she didn’t care as long as it meant she could wake up in Suletta’s arms and finally kiss her best friend.

Miorine jumped past the building’s door, huffing with pained breaths as her knees quaked with each set of stairs she sprinted up.

Section 3, room 122.

Miorine gasped, slowing down for a second to read the signs plastered on the walls. Thankfully, section 3 just so happened to be the closest, and she was quick to run down the hall, eyes blurring as she took in each number on the door.

118

119

120

121

122—

Miorine stopped. She couldn’t breathe. Her hands wrapped around her throat, and she wheezed, finally feeling the burn in her legs and the dampness of her hair, not to mention the bites of cold that rattled against her bones.

It was all worth it.

Miorine raised her hand and pounded against the door three times.

No answer. No shuffling. Nothing.

What if she wasn’t home?

She had to be. If anyone in the universe could hear her, she pleaded that Suletta was.

Miorine raised her fists and slammed it into the door, once, twice, thri—

It opened, and Miorine almost fell forward. She cleared her throat, straightening up when she realized she had half fallen into Suletta’s embrace. Miorine missed it immediately, but she couldn’t bear to let herself feel comfort before getting what she had to say off her chest.

“Suletta, I—”

Ocean blue eyes widened, and Miorine’s words died in her throat when her wrist was wrapped in a warm, calloused hand, and she was being pulled inside Suletta’s dorm. Her breath hitched, back up against the now closed door, trapped between the wood and Suletta’s body pressing up against her own.

Cherry roses and petrichor. Miorine sobbed.

“I’m sorry!” She yelled, grasping onto the material of Suletta’s shirt and digging her face into the girl’s collarbone. Miorine hiccuped and cried, shaking her mess of dampened hair and choking against Suletta’s embrace. “I’m so sorry, Suletta!”

Suletta’s fingers tangled into her wet hair, and she felt the slight pressure of lips against her scalp.

“I-I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Miorine hiccuped. Her nails scratched at Suletta’s skin, but the taller girl didn’t seem to mind. “I’m sorry for telling you to get out…”

Suletta was like a rock, holding her close and keeping Miorine from collapsing on the spot.

“...I’m sorry for never considering your feelings, for… for always being so fucking selfish.”

Miorine grasped on so tightly that it must have hurt.

“But I want to be selfish with you, Suletta…” Her voice wavered, meek and uncertain, and she was certain Suletta hadn’t even heard her.

But when Suletta pulled her away from the wall and lifted her up, holding her in her warm embrace and lightly tickling her ear with her lips, Miorine knew she had heard every word.

“I’m sorry too, Miorine.”

Miorine shook her head. Suletta had nothing to apologize for. It was wrong of her to expect that she would tell Miorine everything; if it weren’t her place to know, then Suletta wouldn’t have to tell her.

“I’m sorry for hiding my feelings from you…”

Miorine’s breath hitched. She barely understood the words.

“I’m sorry for making you worry.” Light fingers scratched soothingly against her scalp, just like she’d always done for Suletta. “I’m sorry for never considering your feelings, either.”

Miorine sniffled, gasping, hiccuping breaths, and relenting to being carried over to Suletta’s bed. She let the girl drop her down onto the comforter, but when she pulled away, Miorine locked her legs around Suletta’s waist and pulled her back down.

“Don’t leave,” she pleaded. Suletta was quick to nod.

She laid down next to Miorine, pulling her in her arms and rubbing soothing circles on the back of her hand. Suletta hummed a minor tune, something short and sweet and familiar, but Miorine couldn’t quite place it.

“I won’t leave you.”

“Stay forever.”

“I’ll stay for eternity.”

“Don’t hide from me.”

“I’ll tell you everything.”

Miorine looked up, noticing just how close their faces were. If she moved by even a breath, their lips would touch, and it was clear that Suletta was thinking the same thing, too.

Miorine wrapped her hands in Suletta’s hair, playing with the strands and holding her close. Their breaths mingled, hot and wanting, and Miorine’s gaze flicked from pools of ocean blue to soft, red lips.

“Can I kiss you?” Miorine whispered, eyes half-lidded and lips barely brushing against Suletta’s cheek. She didn’t register the gravity of her words, didn’t realize what she’d asked until she noticed how Suletta looked at her.

Admiration? No, that wasn’t it. Adoration, maybe? No, not quite.

Miorine didn’t have time to figure it out because Suletta’s hand was cupping her neck and pulling her in. The lips she’d always dreamt of pressed against her own, warm, soft, comforting, tasting of strawberries, and tears slipped from Miorine’s eyes at the feeling of it all.

Their mouths moved together like fitted cogs, working in tandem to explore everything they never dared to try.

Suletta moaned when Miorine flicked her tongue across her bottom lip, and Miorine was quick to take advantage of that, slipping her muscle inside to probe every corner of her best friend’s mouth, drinking in every slight whimper from the redhead and each pulsing beat of her heart in her chest.

Miorine broke away, panting, shuffling so that she was straddling Suletta with her arms. She panted down, tears welling her vision and soft whines leaving her throat when calloused thumbs wiped them away.

“You’re beautiful.”

“You’re an idiot,” Miorine grimaced. It wasn’t really what she meant to say, but it was the only thing she could think of with Suletta looking at her like that.

Like… like she was the only person in the world.

Perhaps Shaddiq had been right.

“...How long?”

Miorine swallowed thickly, gaze flicking from Suletta’s eyes to her lips, slightly parted and deliciously inviting.

“Since the fountain.”

Suletta cupped her cheeks and pulled her down, and they were kissing again. They were kissing, and it felt even better than the first one. Their teeth clacked together, and drool leaked from their intertwined tongues, and Miorine couldn’t get enough of it.

It was raw—passionate—something she never thought she’d get to experience again—a true first kiss between two people desperately in love.

God, Miorine felt like an idiot. She should have noticed it sooner.

Perhaps Shaddiq had been right… then again, he was always right, wasn’t he?

“Why didn’t you come?” Miorine asked between kisses, never stopping her assault on Suletta’s lips.

“I was scared,” somehow, Suletta slipped it through gentle licks of her tongue in Miorine’s mouth.

“Why?”

Suletta grasped her chin so she couldn’t speak anymore, and Miorine softened into the touch. She melted into Suletta, weight dropping onto the girl’s chest and hands roaming to her cheeks, caressing her freckled skin as their lungs shuddered with each greedier and greedier kiss.

Eventually, biology won out, and Miorine had to break away before she suffocated them both.

“What about you?”

The question hung in the air. Miorine didn’t feel like elaborating, so she hoped Suletta would get the message.

“Hm,” her throat bobbed. “When I first laid my eyes on you.”

“And when was that?”

“Kindergarten, I think.”

Miorine flushed red, hiding her face in Suletta’s neck and shuddering a sigh. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“...I didn’t think you remembered.”

Miorine remembered, alright, and she mentally kicked herself for not making the connection sooner. Because who else had curly red hair and ocean-blue eyes other than her first crush all the way back in elementary school?

“How could I forget?” Miorine hummed, gently kissing the skin over Suletta’s thrumming pulse. It was easy to set it aside, but she couldn’t ever forget.

The way Suletta took her hand and brought her away from her father, how she saved her, how she talked to her and let her rest on her until the tears stopped.

For their entire lives, Suletta had been her rock, and Miorine desperately hated that she was only now just figuring that out.

“So, then, are we… okay?” Suletta’s voice croaked. Miorine huffed into her neck, placing a generous kiss to the underside of her chin before pulling back so she could look her in the eye.

“We’re going to be fine, Suletta,” Miorine crooned, gently thumbing Suletta’s bottom lip with utmost care.

“Can I kiss you again?” Suletta asked, despite her lips being red and swollen.

Miorine captured her in a chaste kiss, one that somehow conveyed everything and nothing at all at the same time.

“W-What are we?”

“Best friends?”

Suletta frowned, pushing her away with a huff. “That’s not funny.”

Miorine was certainly amused. “Sorry, sorry…”

Suletta hummed thoughtfully, hands wandering from her still-damp hair down to her bare shoulders and down her sides over the slightly wet cloth of her tank top that stuck to her pale skin.

“You’re so pretty, Mio.”

Miorine flushed bright red, murmuring an objection that had little heart to it. When she hesitantly looked back at Suletta’s face, all she saw was fondness in her eyes and a slight grin on her lips.

Yes, that was it. Fondness.

Pure, unbridled, affection.

Miorine half-collapsed into Suletta’s body, decidedly too tired to keep holding herself up. Suletta giggled, grasping her shoulder and keeping their bodies pressed flush, and Miorine couldn’t help but tear up at the feeling.

Seven days without this had been enough for Miorine to realize she’d rather die than lose Suletta again.

“Sorry,” Miorine murmured again, finding the spot between Suletta’s chin and collarbone that was the most sensitive and gently licking it, eliciting a slight whimper from the girl.

“S-Stop apologizing, Mio,” Suletta groaned, holding onto her shoulders with firm hands as Miorine lost herself in soft licks, kisses, and gentle bites to her neck. The smell of petrichor and cherry roses invaded Miorine’s senses, and as if she wasn’t close enough, she tried burrowing even further into Suletta’s embrace.

The larger girl didn’t seem to mind. She lifted her chin so Miorine had more room to get at her neck. She shifted her hands so they cupped Miorine’s back, holding her steady as the girl buried into her.

“...wanna be with you.”

Suletta hummed, clearly not having heard Miorine through the muffling of her neck.

“...be with you.”

Suletta gently scratched at Miorine’s scalp, and she pouted, lifting her head so she could look Suletta in the eye and repeat herself for the third time.

Only it was much harder now that she was looking at her.

Suletta looked so ethereally beautiful, illuminated by the light of the moon, witnessing their acts of tender love. Even though Miorine knew she didn’t deserve her and that this was selfish, the words ended up spilling out.

“I want to be with you, Suletta.”

She felt herself being pulled forward, and for the umpteenth time, their lips connected, and Miorine moaned into the embrace.

Perhaps that was answer enough. Words were meaningless, after all, and hard to wield, so why use them? Why not let their actions speak instead?

And the way Suletta’s tongue probed past her lips, traced and mapped every inch of her mouth, gently swirled around her own tongue, and swallowed each greedy moan, Miorine knew.

She knew Suletta’s answer was yes.

“Can I try some?” Miorine leaned over onto her girlfriend’s shoulder, drinking in the scent of her freshly washed hair and reveling in the slight bulge of her muscles under Miorine’s fingertips.

“It’s spicy.”

“I thought you don’t like spice?” Miorine hummed, gently nibbling Suletta’s earlobe between silent whispers.

“It’s actually pretty good when you get past the pain.”

Miorine let out an amused sigh. “Well, if you insist, then I want to try some.”

“...Miorine, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Come on, just give me one.”

“It’s… pretty spicy.”

“Suletta.”

The girl finally relented with a groan, and Miorine smirked in victory. She opened her mouth, waiting for Suletta to give her one, and as soon as the piece of steak reached her tongue, she wrapped her lips around the chopsticks and sucked, reveling in the red blush that shot across Suletta’s cheeks, almost as vibrant as her hair.

And as much as she’d love to giggle at her girlfriend’s embarrassment…

…She needed water. It was fucking spicy.

Miorine heard Suletta laugh as she rushed to the small kitchen of her dorm and grabbed a glass of water, downed it, then refilled it and downed it again. The spice lingered even so, like a steady reminder of what some would deem the ‘consequences of her own actions.’

Still, it had a nice flavor, and once the pain did finally subside, even by a little, Miorine found herself appreciating it.

“That is pretty good.”

“I know, right?” Suletta spoke up from the couch, head resting on the back and gazing adoringly at Miorine, who was still chugging down water.

“Want another one?”

“Absolutely fucking not,” Miorine guffawed, finally finding some respite from the pain and returning to Suletta’s side. She pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek before leaning away when Suletta tried to kiss her back.

“I don’t think so. I bet you taste spicy.”

Suletta hummed a laugh, grinning mischievously. Miorine had an idea of what the girl was planning, so she scrambled to get up, but the larger girl was faster and stronger.

Miorine yelped, feeling herself being pulled down and pinned against the couch. She wriggled under Suletta’s firm grip, realizing very quickly that she couldn’t move. Miorine should have been scared, but she wasn’t.

Suletta’s strength was comforting.

“You’re such a tease, Mio-Mio.”

“What did I say about that stupid nickname?” Miorine huffed a sigh, looking up at the ocean-blue eyes that seemed to devour her. “And don’t call me miss, either.”

“Mm, fine, you’re so picky,” Suletta grinned, softly kissing Miorine’s forehead and running a hand through her platinum hair. She rested some of her weight on Miorine, but not all of it, enough to be comfortable but not enough to squeeze her.

“You like me.”

“Mm, no.”

Miorine’s lips parted, and she stared at Suletta curiously. Self-doubt slowly crept up Miorine’s mind, and she contemplated running away.

But Suletta was looking at her with such affection that she couldn’t bear the thought.

“No… I love you.”

Oh. Miorine bit her lip, averting her eyes from Suletta’s stubborn gaze. She didn’t know what to say, other than the obvious, of course, but was she really ready for that?

“Miorine,” Suletta whined. “Don’t ignore me.”

Miorine gulped, flicking her eyes back for a fraction of a second before turning away again. She barely registered the pout on Suletta’s lips.

“Fine, you leave me no choice.”

“W-Wait!” Miorine exclaimed, already knowing what Suletta intended to do and fearing for her life. “P-Please don’t!”

Warm, soft hands grasped her sides, and lithe fingers gently scratched down her skin, eliciting sharp gasps and hiccuped laughs from the writhing girl. Tears pooled in Miorine’s eyes, and she tried to get Suletta’s hands off of her, but her stupid, idiot country-bumpkin of a girlfriend was fucking strong.

“S-Stop! Suletta, please! M-Mercy!”

“I’ll stop if you say it back,” Suletta teased, grinning like a wolf. Miorine very much felt like prey under her gaze.

“I-I c-can’t s-say it with y-you t-tickling me!” Miorine hiccuped, barely able to get the words out between boisterous laughter. Suletta didn’t seem to care; actually, she tickled harder, her hands reaching down to her hips, which were incredibly sensitive.

“S-S-Suletta!” Miorine wrapped her hands around Suletta’s neck and pulled her down, connecting their lips in a greedy, heated kiss. Miorine sighed when the hands tickling her hips finally ceased, and she moaned when they instead traced soothing circles across her pale skin, dangerously close to the hem of her pajama pants and to the tightness of her core.

Miorine always knew she was sexually attracted to Suletta. Hell, who wouldn’t be? She was like an Amazonian goddess or something, able to pick her up without much effort and throw her around like a ragdoll.

Which was both terrifying and incredibly, incredibly arousing.

But now wasn’t the time for that. Miorine pushed on Suletta’s shoulders, and the girl was quick to release her from the couch.

“S-Something wrong?”

Miorine ran her fingers through Suletta’s hair, scratching gently at the smaller hairs on her nape, debating kissing the oxygen out of her or settling for a simple peck on the cheek.

In the end, Miorine settled on the peck, deciding that any more kissing would have her too aroused to function. She had to resist, if not for the sake of the foreseeable future.

“You have physics tomorrow, don’t you? It’s already eleven,” Miorine let Suletta rest her head in her lap, cooing softly as the girl’s warmth seeped into her skin. “We should probably sleep.”

“But I’m not tired,” Suletta grimaced. “I could stay up for a little while longer,” she punctuated with a yawn, and Miorine chortled.

“You’re still such a horrible liar.”

“Maybe you just have a freakishly good lie detector or something?”

Miorine pretended to think about it. “No, you just suck at it.”

“Meanie.”

Miorine leaned down to press a comforting kiss to Suletta’s forehead and caress the soft skin of her cheek.

“I love you, too, Suletta.”

Their eyes met, clashed, like an icy cold sea meeting at the edge of a tropical paradise. The words felt so natural on her tongue; they rolled off, and Miorine found herself wanting to say it again.

“...I love you a lot...”

She gave in.

“...I love you so much that I can barely put it into words.”

Miorine grasped Suletta’s larger, warm hand and pressed a kiss to her rougher knuckles.

“I’ve always been bad with dealing with my emotions, so… when I’m stubborn or challenging or don’t communicate, just know that I love you.”

Suletta nodded slowly, reaching a hand up to tuck a lock of platinum hair behind Miorine’s ear, and it sent a chill down her spine. She loved the feeling of Suletta’s rough callouses against her skin, and she wanted to feel them all of the time.

“I love you, too.”

Miorine shuddered a sigh as if she wasn’t expecting Suletta to say it back. But of course, Suletta said it back. It was obvious from the look in her eyes that Miorine really was her entire world.

And Suletta was hers—even if it took her a bit too long to realize that.

To realize everything—to realize that her best friend was the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

It was surreal to think about, to realize. The amount of things Miorine realized about their relationship was a little scary, to be honest.

With her fingers entangled in Suletta’s hair and their eyes locked, Miorine smiled, enjoying each realization for what they were.

It wasn’t complicated, her and Suletta’s relationship. It was as raw as a love between former best friends could be—a special bond.

A connection that only the universe could shatter.