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"Eclipse-....-Eclipse- wake up-"
Shifting, still being tired made it a bit difficult, but Eclipse placed a hand on whoever was at the edge of his bed. At first he thought it was Lunar- Lu often slept in his room because of his nightmares. Giving Lunar a comforting pat- wait- that wasn't...A hat- those were- rays?
Sitting up with a sudden urgency, he looked at L-- L- Sunrise?
He froze, everything felt like it was spinning. But- t-there they were. Sitting in the floor, criss cross, staring at him.
"Eclipse?"
The voice sounded oh so wrong but- so right. It was layered with light static and a childish undertone. This- this couldn't be Sun- Sun was dead.
"Eclipse- are you okay?" Sharp teeth flashed through an awkward smile, they were just sitting there, looking at him with those wide, innocent blue eyes. Sun- his Sun was right here? Talking?
He moved closer to the edge; hands twitching, longing to touch his partner, make sure they were really here. He was so conflicted- it just didn't make sense.
He gave in, hands gently cupping his lover's face.
"S-" His voice wavered, hot pressure beginning to form behind his eyes. He sharply inhaled, trying to steady himself. "Sunny?"
They responded with a purr-like noise, leaning into the touch with a content smile. "That's me." They hummed, scooting closer. "It's okay, I'm here. Whatever is hurting you won't stay for long when I'm here." Sun made a small 'click' noise with his sharp teeth. "I'll eat them! Especially what's making you cry."
Getting tired of being so far away from the one person he loved with everything in him, he dragged Sun up onto the bed; embracing them in a tight hug.
"I'm so sorry..." Eclipse choked out a sob, everything was so wrong but so right. This wasn't real, Sun was dead. But oh stars how he wanted to believe it was real. "I'm so sorry for everything- I've been the shittiest partner someone could fathom- I-I messed this all up-"
"What are you talking about? Eclipse- what is going on with you? You did nothing wrong?"
"Y-you don't understand- you're not here with me- you're dead. This is another one of those stupid dreams I have. You tell me it's okay- that you're here and you're fine and then I wake up! I-I- don't want to wake up. I want to stay here, with you- it's just- this whole fucking ordeal-" He knew he was crying, he knew he looked pathetic and honestly- he might as well be talking to himself.
He buried himself in the hug. It wasn't warm, and it didn't feel real.
He hated this.
-
"Daaaad-" A childish, squeaky voice jerked him from his dream {Or more so a nightmare}.
"Mmmmh- what-?" He pushed himself up, the comforting warmth of the heater helping to thaw his dull ache he felt.
Yep. Just a dream.
It had been...Months. Six months to be exact. And this stupid nightmare had been haunting him ever since he-
"Daaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddddddddddd. You were asleep! For such a long time too- even Earth came over and dropped off some breakfast muffins! She said she found a new recipe stored away." Lunar bounced on the heels of his stubby feet, tiny hands making a grabby motion towards him.
Careful to not whack Lunar, he got up; once steady he picked them up as well; starting towards the kitchen.
"I don't wake up at six in the morning Lu, I sleep 'till eight." He muttered, setting them down on the counter as he brought his attention to he tupperware on the table. "Did you already eat some?" He piqued, a playful irritation underlining his drawl. Yep. This was his life now- and it wasn't half that bad honestly. Only for the suicide attempts, depression, self-harm, overdosing- oh- was Lunar talking to him?
"-nd so- that's why there are four muffins missing."
"Uh huh."
"Oh come on you weren't even listening!"
Opening the tub and taking a blueberry muffin, he handed it to Lunar, a small twitch of a smile began to form as the smaller animatronic happily bit into it. Turning away, he took a raspberry muffin for himself.
Taking a bite, the moment the muffin hit his taste receptors he almost gagged.
No- it- it couldn't be that-
"Dad-" Lunar quirked a non-existent eyebrow; concern swamping their voice. "You okay-?"
He set the muffin down and went to the sink; thoroughly washing his mouth out with water.
"Was yours burnt or something-? How about you try mine-"
"No- it's- it's not that."
"Then- what's up?"
"It's just-" How could he explain this to Lunar-? Would he be able to understand- well- ugh. This was hard. Leaning against the counter, the dull ache he felt before came creeping back. "The muffins just taste like the same ones Sun used to make, that's all." His voice dropped into a whisper; grateful when Lunar didn't press any questions, just a quiet 'Oh'.
"I never had the chance to try Mom's muffins- I guess Earth found his recipe."
"I thought I cleaned them all up..." Eclipse grumbled, burying his face in his hands. Why couldn't this be easier? Why did everything have to open up that same cut and rub salt into it?
Lunar finished off his muffin and reached for Eclipse's, handing it to him. "Come on, you can't run away from the past like that. If I did what you're doing now, I would've never gotten over my trauma."
Gently taking the pastry, he eyed it carefully. No one told him healing would hurt this much- it felt better to just hide from it.
"Just- take it Lunar. I can always try tomorrow."
Lunar rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. You know good and well you'll keep on pushing it to the side" He hopped off of the counter, scoffing at his father. "You'll never heal that way. I say, you go back to therapy with Earth. You were taking the time to do it a few months ago- why not now? She said she has plenty of time."
"Wait- did you- talk to her about- therapy?"
"Oh don't get your rays in a twist, it was mainly about me. But yes, I did bring up you."
Placing the muffin on the counter, he dismissed the statement. He didn't want to go back- that'd just...Bring the past back up. He wasn't ready for that kind of pain.
"Eclipse, you already have an appointment. It's scheduled for tomorrow. Stop acting like a child who doesn't want to go to school, get your ass in gear, and fix your mental state. You're my dad, act like it. Be the example." Lu gave Eclipse one more glance before he walked out of the kitchen. Footsteps turning silent as he got further.
Well fuck.
Earth would probably think he killed himself if he didn't show up- then Lunar would kill him for getting his clingy younger sister over here. Odds are, if Earth came over- she'd probably stay for a few weeks. Lunar was right. He needed to be the example- but-...
How could he be ready for such a thing?