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Chapter Text

The wind whipped through the trees and around the slight figure as he hurried down the path towards the bus stop. Zayn shivered hard and tugged his coat around him tighter, burying his nose in his scarf as he made it to the bus just before the doors closed.

“Nearly, Zayn, nearly,” Maddie, the driver, said warningly.

“Sorry, Mads,” Zayn murmured.

She nodded him on, and he marched down the aisle to take a window seat near the rear of the bus, pulling his phone from his pocket and navigating into his Snapchat app. He hid a smile in his scarf at the name in his messages list, and gently tapped at it.

Ben: hey, wanna meet in the library before form?

Zayn: sure. Don’t wanna be late though. New form group today.

Ben: lame.

Ben: see you in the polisci section.

Zayn sent a smiling emoji, then hunkered down closer to the window, gazing out at the miserable weather as the bus travelled in stops and starts through the morning traffic towards the high school.

All too quickly, he was following the other students off of the bus and through the gates, for the start of another term at the hell hole that was school. Flinching a little at a loud bang behind him, Zayn hunched his shoulders a little and quickly made his way to the library, glancing at his phone to check the time – still a good ten minutes before form group started. He checked down each aisle as he made his way between the racks until he reached the secluded Political Science section, only used by those taking Political Science for A Levels and completely irrelevant for GCSE students, so barely attended at all, especially not at 8:30am on the first day of school. His shoulders dropped in mild dismay as he realised the area was completely vacant. Looking around for any sign of someone approaching, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

Ben: soz cant make it. Later?

Zayn: ok.

Zayn sighed heavily and trudged slowly towards the new form room, checking the number he’d scribbled on the back of his hand twice before slipping into the noisy room. Wincing a little at the decibel levels, he waved an uncertain hand at his form tutor, Mr Murs.

“Zayn Malik!” Mr Murs greeted in an overly cheerful tone. “Happy New Year!”

“Hi, Mr Murs,” Zayn mumbled, blushing a little at the attention.

“Welcome to Form 21B,” Mr Murs continued, rummaging around his messy desk for a sheet of paper. “Now, where did I put you? Where did I put the paper? It was literally just in my hand… ah, here we go!” He brandished the paper in his hand, beaming at Zayn, who raised an eyebrow. “Yes, that’s it. You’re sat over by the window, next to Liam Payne. He’s in Year 10, so a year below you. I’m sure you’ll find lots to talk about though.”

Zayn sighed and turned slowly, looking in the direction that Mr Murs had pointed. Sat at a table, with his arms folded as he gazed out of the window – which just so happened to have a sudden shaft of sunlight shining through to surround him, making him appear angelic in the watery winter beams – was a solid-looking lad. As though hearing his name, he turned to face Zayn, a curious and seemingly hopeful expression on his face. Zayn took a deep breath and manoeuvred his way through the tables and chairs, shrugging out of his bag and dropping it carefully to the floor as he took his seat.

“Hi,” said Liam, giving him a friendly smile.

“Hi…” Zayn replied, feeling like his insides had melted into goo at the simple word.

Well, shit.

✨✨✨✨✨

The next few days seemed to pass in a blur, bookended by greetings and superficial chat about classes and homework. Zayn felt himself slowly starting to come out of his shell, sharing a little more at each registration, and learning more about Liam – who definitely liked to talk. Zayn liked that about him though. He liked the way Liam’s eyes crinkled up when he smiled, and the way his hands waved about wildly when he was particularly enthusiastic about something, and the way he focused his whole attention on Zayn on the odd occasions Zayn did open up about something he was interested in. 

Okay, he reluctantly had to admit to himself that he may have the smallest crush on the younger boy.

“Erm, Zayn?” the boy in question said one morning.

Zayn lifted his head from where he had been examining his homework diary in bemusement, trying to figure out what was still outstanding and how he’d managed to fall behind in less than a week, and stared, equal parts amused, bewildered, and horrified. Liam held up his hands, both completely covered in bright blue ink.

“What the…?” Zayn asked slowly.

“My pen kind of… exploded?” Liam offered sheepishly. “Could you help me? Have you got a tissue or something?”

“Um, no, sorry,” Zayn said reluctantly.

“What in the world has happened over here?” Mr Murs appeared, his eyes alight with amusement. “Well done, Liam, I don’t think I’ve seen a pen cause that much damage in a long time. You’d best run along to the toilets and sort yourself out. Zayn, can you go and lend a hand, please? Make sure he doesn’t get into any more mischief?”

“Of course, sir,” Zayn chuckled, getting up and leading the way out of the classroom.

“I genuinely have no idea how this happened,” Liam bemoaned as he scrubbed at his hands under the lukewarm water. “It’s not coming off!”

“You must have done something to it, Liam,” Zayn chastised gently, pulling himself up to sit on the counter next to the sinks. “Have you used the soap?”

“Of course, I’ve used the soap!” Liam exclaimed. “I’m not that much of an idiot.” He spotted Zayn’s face. “Oi, I’m not.” He sighed helplessly. “I look like a fucking smurf.”

“Maybe you’ll have to start a new trend or something then,” Zayn suggested.

“Ink-stained hands?” Liam looked at him sceptically.

“Pretend it’s a tattoo?” Zayn offered.

The bell rang out loudly.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Liam groaned. “Is that first bell?”

Zayn pulled his phone from his pocket.

“Nope, second,” he corrected cheerfully. “We’re officially late to our first lesson.”

Liam leaned forward, gently hitting his forehead against the mirror.

“Fuck,” he cursed again softly.

“You swear a lot,” Zayn observed.

“The rugby boys swear a lot,” Liam sighed. “Bad habit to have picked up, I guess.”

“Nah, you’re fine,” Zayn shrugged. “One of my best friends is Irish, another’s Scottish. There’s a lot of swearing around them.”

He watched Liam for a few more moments before pushing himself off of the counter.

“Okay, let’s go,” he said with a clap of his hands.

“Where are we going?” Liam asked, drying his still-blue hands on a paper towel and dropping it in the bin. “To the kitchen? Ask for some bleach?”

“No, let’s not get overdramatic,” Zayn rolled his eyes a little. “We’re going to the art department. Get some white spirit to get that stain off.”

“I could kiss you,” Liam immediately said, sounding desperately hopeful.

“Let’s not get carried away,” Zayn laughed awkwardly, clearing his throat as he walked down the corridor.

As Liam was cleaning his hands up, Zayn pulled his phone out again, reading the messages that he’d previously ignored.

Ben: meet in the music room in a sec?

Ben: Zayn??

Ben: where the fuck are you? I’m waiting

Ben: you’re so fucking useless you can’t even text wtf

Zayn felt himself curl slowly inwards, swallowing hard as the words rattled around his brain.

“Zayn?” Liam’s voice broke through the downward spiral. “Thanks – this has worked like a dream. Gonna call you my lucky charm from now on.”

Zayn flushed a little.

“Please don’t,” he muttered, causing Liam to burst out laughing and sling an arm around his shoulders, leading the way back to their form room for their bags and jackets.

✨✨✨✨✨

“So… you’re mates with Liam Payne now?” Niall raised an eyebrow as he watched Zayn wave at the other boy who waved back and promptly tripped over his own feet as he joined his own friends.

“Yeah?” Zayn shrugged a little.

“He’s a rugby lad,” Niall observed.

“Yes, your point being?” Zayn said, a little snippily.

“We’re just a bit worried, is all it is,” Lewis interjected, soothing the waters as he took a large swallow of his smoothie. “It was the rugger lot that were so shite with you last year. We just don’t want a repeat, y’know?”

“Exactly,” Niall nodded. “We don’t want any of them thinking they’ve got a way to hurt you more. Are we sure they’ve not sent him in as some kind of Trojan horse or something?”

Zayn looked at him.

“Have you been watching Discovery History again?” he asked flatly.

“Fuck off, no I fucking have not,” Niall huffed. “I know my fucking history, thank you very much. I just don’t want you hurt, okay?”

“And I appreciate it, more than I can ever articulate,” Zayn said softly. “But you’ve also got to let me spread my wings and make friends with people.”

“As long as you remember that we were your friends first,” Lewis grinned.

Zayn rolled his eyes and shook his head in amusement.

“Like I could ever forget you shitheads,” he muttered. “Who’s heard from Haz?”

“She messaged the group, she’s loving the new school, but she misses us a lot,” Niall replied immediately. “Jeez, it’s like you’ve got us on mute or something.”

“Fuck off, you know I’ve run out of data,” Zayn grumbled. “And the school wifi is shocking.”

“Here you go, pet,” Lewis tapped on his phone, turning his hotspot on. “Use mine.”

“You’re an angel, and my favourite,” Zayn blew him a kiss.

“Oi, I thought I was your favourite!” Niall protested.

“Then you were a twat,” Zayn shrugged. “And Lewis helped with solving my problem.”

“It’s only a problem cos you watched half a season of Supernatural using your data instead of the wifi at home,” Niall huffed, before returning his critical gaze to the rugby boys across the playing field. “He’s such a chav, Zayn. I really don’t get it.”

“I bet he’s over there calling everyone ‘mate’,” Lewis snickered.

“Nah, ‘bro’, gotta be,” Niall smirked.

“Well, he doesn’t call me ‘mate’,” Zayn huffed.

“Oh fucking hell, here we go,” Niall immediately said.

“What?” Zayn demanded.

“You’ve got a crush on him,” came the accusation.

“I don’t fall for every boy who’s nice to me,” Zayn sulked. “But he’s nice.” He sighed and rested his head back against the wall. “And probably straight as fuck.”

Chapter Text

That afternoon, Zayn rummaged through his pockets as he walked out of the school, looking for his AirPods and hoping he hadn’t left them in his locker.

“Ben, stop that!” a giggly voice could be heard behind a hedge, causing Zayn to frown slightly.

Ben was a common name – it was probably one of the many others. Nothing to worry about.

“Oh, c’mon, love,” came the familiar tones. “There’s no one else here now. We’re not gonna get caught or anything.”

Zayn felt his blood run cold, those exact words echoing in his memories. Swallowing hard and finding his elusive earphones, he slipped them both in and turned his music on, drowning everything else out as he walked slowly home.

Once there, he changed out of his uniform and put it in the laundry basket, before he dropped onto his bed with a heavy sigh, holding his phone up over his face as he scrolled through his message thread with Ben.

Zayn: I don’t want to meet up with you anymore.

Ben: ???

Zayn: sorry

Ben: why??

Ben: what the fuck?

Ben: we’re not gonna get caught ffs Zayn

Ben: don’t ignore me!!

Zayn shook his head slowly and deleted the messages before he set his alarm, shut the lights off and turned over in bed, closing his eyes and drifting into a fitful sleep.

✨✨✨✨✨

“C’mon, you lot!” Miss Pugh, the PE teacher and rugby coach, yelled at the boys as they ran laps of the field. “No one’s managed to beat Zayn yet – what’s the matter with all of you!”

Zayn slowed as he crossed the finish line, breathing out slowly as he began to stretch out his warmed muscles. He’d always been a bit faster than most of the kids his age, but last year had improved both his speed and stamina. Funny how a bit of negative reinforcement could provide such positive results, he thought wryly.

He stretched his arms up over his head, absently looking around the field at the other classes that were happening concurrently, and breathed in sharply as he spotted Liam with a football at his feet, crossing the pitch and ducking around any contenders. He tapped the ball and it sailed into the goal with ease, causing cheers to go up from the rest of his team. Liam bashfully accepted the excitement, scratching the back of his neck as he caught Zayn’s gaze and smiled shyly. Zayn immediately blushed hard and spun away, retaking his position on the running track, and getting ready for Miss Pugh to blow her whistle again.

For the next few runs, Zayn felt like he was being watched, but every time he glanced over towards the football field, Liam was in the middle of a play that was nowhere near the fence that separated the two areas. Shaking himself a little, he returned his attention to the track and focussed on his stride, his pace, and his form, grinning tiredly at Miss Pugh at the end of the last lap when she told him gleefully that he’d shaved another two seconds off his personal best.

He made his way back to the locker rooms, exhausted and sore, but in a pleasant way that he knew meant he’d sleep well that night. He even felt a little hungry – and thus grateful that lunch was next, even though half of it was going to be taken up by his drum lesson.

He changed quickly and rushed to his locker in the main school, shoving his PE kit inside and getting his lunch and drumsticks out, shoving the latter in his back pocket before rummaging for his notebook and then slamming the locker door closed, jumping a little when he spotted Ben waiting behind it.

“Fucking hell,” he muttered.

“I just want to talk, Zayn,” Ben said firmly.

“I’ve got a lesson,” Zayn replied. “I can’t now.”

“So, you’re just ending this?”

“Yes,” Zayn said, beginning to lose patience and needing to get away.

Ben pushed him up against the nearest locker.

“That’s not for you to decide!” he hissed.

“Zayn?” a voice interrupted, causing Ben to leap back out of the way. “Is everything okay?”

Liam frowned as he approached the pair. Ben shot him a look, then glared at Zayn.

“Stay the fuck out of my way,” he spat, before storming off.

“I didn’t know you knew Ben,” Liam said slowly, watching the other boy’s retreating back.

“Well, it’s not like I know him that well,” Zayn said weakly.

“He’s a bit of a dick,” Liam observed.

“I help him with his maths homework now and then…”

“He’s not exactly nice to you though, is he?” Liam observed.

“It’s fine, I’m used to it,” Zayn said dismissively.

Liam frowned at his words, but stopped pushing, instead pointing at his drumsticks.

“I didn’t know you played drums,” he grinned.

“Yeah, I’m on my way to a lesson right now, actually,” Zayn shrugged shyly.

“That is so cool,” Liam exclaimed. “I’m a bit rubbish at anything musical, really.” He gestured down the corridor. “Can I escort you to the music department?”

“If you’re sure,” Zayn said uncertainly, blushing a little as they started to walk.

“So, there was something else I wanted to chat to you about, actually,” Liam admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“What’s that?” Zayn asked, opening up his lunch bag and pulling out an apple, taking a large bite out of it.

“How would you like to join the rugby team?” Liam asked, a big bright grin on his face, crinkling his eyes as he looked at Zayn, giving him the sudden impression of an excited puppy, before his words suddenly registered.

“Me?” Zayn asked in disbelief. “Me? Join the rugby team?”

“Yeah?” Liam said hopefully. “We need another wing, and you’re really fast – I was watching you earlier – and I just think you’d actually be pretty aces. Like… is that something you would think about?”

“I… I dunno, Liam,” Zayn said uncertainly. “Me and the rugby lads… we don’t really get on that well.”

“I promise, it’ll be okay,” Liam insisted. “Most of the absolute dickheads left last year. I’m trying to foster a nicer environment. That’s why Miss Pugh made me captain.”

“Aren’t I a bit small and weak to play rugby?” Zayn countered.

“Well, it’s only school level, we’re not very good yet, and you’d be doing a lot of running,” Liam rambled.

“So, you’re saying I am small and weak?” Zayn checked.

“No! No! Not at all!” Liam scrambled to correct.

Zayn bit his lip, while Liam gave him the proper puppy eyed look.

“Fine,” he relented. “I’ll come to one training session. If I don’t like it, I’m out, okay?”

“Absolutely fine,” Liam agreed. “But I know you’re gonna love it!”

“Hmm,” Zayn looked doubtful as they approached the music classrooms. “Well, I’m going in there,” he pointed.

“Oh, I’d best go find my lunch, then,” Liam gestured in the opposite direction. “See you in form?”

“Yeah,” Zayn nodded. “See you then.”

✨✨✨✨✨

The next day, Zayn was reluctantly walking towards the locker rooms, pausing outside as he heard voices from inside.

“Zayn Malik? Really?”

“Isn’t he that kid from Year 11?”

“He’s a bit small and weak, isn’t he?”

“Does he know how to play?”

“Does he even like sports? I mean, everyone knows he’s gay, right?”

Taking a deep breath, Zayn pushed the door open and stepped through, smiling nervously at Liam, who immediately jumped to his feet and crossed the room to greet him.

“Hey!”

“Uh, hey…” Zayn replied uncertainly, giving an awkward wave.

The next thing he knew, he was changed, and the whole team were making their way towards the field, while Liam walked beside him, explaining the rules and gameplay of rugby. Zayn looked at him in bafflement, completely overwhelmed by the stream of information.

“Uh… this is a lot?” he offered when Liam took a breath.

“It is,” Liam agreed. “But you’ll pick it up after a few games!” he added enthusiastically.

“I wish I had your confidence – personally, I’m fully expecting to be absolute crap, and I feel like you should be prepared for that,” Zayn joked.

“Don’t put yourself down like that,” Liam protested. “You could be better than me!”

“That’s not very likely, now is it, Mr Rugby King,” Zayn teased, gently pushing at Liam’s side and not moving him at all, gesturing as though to prove a point.

“I actually really hate that nickname,” Liam admitted quietly.

“Zayn Malik!” a voice yelled from the pitch, making Zayn jump and look around worriedly.

He breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw the coach striding towards them.

“Erm, yes Miss Pugh?” he said uncertainly.

“Call me Coach. I hear you’ve been chosen by young Liam here to help us out,” she greeted him, arms folded over her chest and legs shoulder-width apart as she stood looking at him intimidatingly.

“Erm… yes?” Zayn stammered.

“Well, I know you’re fast,” she nodded once. “Ever played rugby before?”

“No…”

“That’s fine, you’ll pick it up,” she dismissed. “We need an extra wing. You know what a wing is?”

“No…”

Coach Pugh let out a huff.

“Liam, I think you should spend today’s training session getting Zayn caught up on everything,” she decided. “Go through the basics, give him a feel for it. Maybe work on some passes and runs? We’ll cover scrums next week.”

“Okay, Coach,” Liam agreed. “We’ll take the far end?”

Coach Pugh waved a hand and strode over to the rest of the team, blowing her whistle to call the practice to order.

“C’mon,” Liam grinned at Zayn. “Let’s go learn some rugby.”

He grabbed a ball and jogged down the side of the pitch, coming to a halt by the tall goalposts and turning to face Zayn.

✨✨✨✨✨

Just over an hour later, Zayn tucked the ball under his arm and ran a short way down the pitch, turning slightly to throw the ball back to Liam as he tried to remember everything he’d been told since the start of practice.

“That’s it!” Liam called out, catching the ball easily. “You did it!”

“That was… right?” Zayn looked at him uncertainly.

“Textbook pass,” Liam nodded quickly, then glanced at his watch. “Okay, so we still have about fifteen, twenty minutes left. How do you feel about maybe starting on… tackling?”

“Tackling?” Zayn’s voice did not squeak.

Liam chuckled as Zayn cleared his throat.

“Sure!” he said. “The sooner we get started on it, the less of a mountain it’ll feel.” He beamed. “I promise I’ll go easy on you.”

Zayn stared.

“You… you’re gonna… tackle… me?” he asked, his voice going up with each word.

Liam burst out laughing, throwing his head back and slapping at his thigh.

“Your face!” he snorted. “Oh god, no. No, Zayn. I wouldn’t do that to you!” He snickered and wiped a hand over his face. “You’re gonna tackle me.”

“I’m what now?”

“Oh, c’mon,” Liam wheedled. “You can do this. We’ll start out slow. I’ll stand still, and you just… tackle me.” He paused. “You’ve seen that much, right? You just need to take the player with the ball down, by tackling them below their shoulders.”

“I mean, yeah,” Zayn shifted his weight, still not too sure. “But… I don’t wanna hurt you… or myself…”

“Well, I can promise you won’t hurt me,” Liam said firmly. “And you should land on me, so you’ll get a comfy landing.”

“This is not going to end well,” Zayn swore, rolling his head on his shoulders and shaking his arms out. “But okay. Let’s try this.”

Liam positioned himself a few strides away from Zayn, standing still and waiting. Zayn shook his head at the whole scenario, before taking a deep breath and running towards Liam, bending over and putting his shoulder into Liam’s stomach as he tried to take him out. Liam, for his part, buckled easily and dropped to the ground with a soft ‘oof’.

“That was perfect!” Liam immediately praised, propping himself up on his elbows.

“Really?” Zayn blushed hard. “I feel like you just fell over though.”

“We can work on your strength,” Liam waved off. “But your technique is spot on.” He eyed Zayn critically. “Anyway, I feel that strength is not going to be the best method for you. I’ll have a chat with Coach Pugh and see if she’s got any books or tips on counterbalances. She used to play when she was at uni, and would’ve progressed to the national team if she hadn’t blown out her knee – so I’m sure she’s got some ideas that would be helpful. She’s tiny, after all.”

“I, uh… yes?” Zayn looked uncertain.

“Sorry, sorry,” Liam apologised quickly. “I get really enthusiastic about all of this.”

“No, no,” Zayn immediately backtracked. “Don’t apologise! It’s nice to see someone passionate about their things.” He smiled softly. “Thank you for showing so much interest in helping me to learn.”

“That’s the other thing I like doing,” Liam explained as they both got to their feet. “Teaching, I mean. That’s what I’m hoping to study at uni.”

“You wanna be a teacher?” Zayn asked.

“Yep,” Liam nodded quickly. “PE, probably. Definitely not maths. Could probably hedge my way through a geography lesson or two if I was subbing in, I suppose.”

“It’s good that you know what you want to do,” Zayn smiled.

“Well, it’s that or play rugby, and I’m not sure I’m good enough to go national,” Liam shrugged. “But anyway. Shall we try the tackling again? But I’ll run this time?”

Zayn looked at him and let out a resigned sigh.

“I’m going to die.”

Chapter Text

The next few training sessions went much the same way, with Liam taking Zayn through the basics and building upon his knowledge with each session, until Coach Pugh decided Zayn had learned enough to be included with the rest of the team. That particular session felt like the previous ones had been child’s play in comparison, with Zayn feeling aches in muscles he never knew existed by the time Coach Pugh blew her whistle for the last time and called for them to hit the showers.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Liam asked, slinging a friendly arm over Zayn’s shoulders, but pulling away quickly as Zayn’s knees buckled a little. “Oh…”

“I think my aches have aches,” Zayn mumbled. “And I had no idea there were so many muscle groups in a human body. What’s that all about?”

“Keeps us upright and playing rugby,” Liam grinned.

“Uh huh,” Zayn nodded weakly. “Well. I’m gonna skip the shower and just collapse into a bath when I get home.”

“That’s a good plan,” Liam agreed, pulling the locker room door open.

“But like… am I actually any good?” Zayn asked uncertainly.

“Of course you are!” Liam immediately replied. “Why would you ask that?”

“Well, I just… I don’t want to let anyone down, or make anyone think that I shouldn’t be here, y’know?” Zayn said slowly.

“I can promise you, that is definitely not the case,” Liam reassured him.

“Some of the boys…” Zayn trailed off.

“Yeah?”

“They just remind me of the ones who used to pick on me last year,” Zayn shrugged a little.

Liam’s face fell and he looked at Zayn in something resembling horror for a moment, before he cleared his throat and stood up a little straighter.

“Well, I want you on the team, because I like you,” he said firmly. “Hopefully, the others will warm up to you a little more, and you won’t feel as if they’re anything like those dicks from last year. Because neither me nor Coach Pugh will let anyone say anything shitty to you. I hope you know that.”

Zayn gave him a small smile, gently touching his arm.

“Thanks, Liam,” he said softly.

As soon as he reached his things, Zayn pulled his phone out, sighing heavily when he saw the missed calls and more messages from Ben.

Ben: we NEED to talk

Ben: meet me after PE

Ben: NO BACKING OUT ZAYN

Ben: I mean it

Zayn: fine

Zayn: meet me in the art corridor

Zayn: just getting changed

He rubbed a hand over his face, recentring himself, before getting up and slowly changing back into his normal uniform, stowing his PE kit in his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He carefully left the locker room, nodding once in acknowledgement of Liam’s wave, and made his way over to the art department – the opposite direction of the exit and the way home. He pulled the door open and slipped inside, spotting Ben pacing to and fro in a wider part of the corridor, though he whirled to face him as the door slammed loudly closed.

“What the fuck, Zayn?” Ben started. “What is wrong with you? Why are you such a fucking wimp?”

“Ben, I just don’t want to see you anymore,” Zayn said, trying to sound stronger than he felt.

“Don’t you think I deserve some kind of explanation?” Ben demanded.

“No, I don’t. I don’t see why it would make any difference,” Zayn muttered.

The words were barely out of Zayn’s mouth before Ben grabbed Zayn by the front of his uniform and slammed him up against the nearest wall, disregarding the pained grunt that escaped Zayn.

“That’s not good enough!” Ben practically screamed in his face. “I said I was sorry for ditching you that time! I’m going through some shit too, y’know? And it would be nice if you could just be a bit more understanding!”

“Get off,” Zayn struggled to push Ben away. “Ben, get off of me!”

“No, I’m not letting you go that easily,” Ben shook his head. “I’m not.”

Ben leaned down, pressing his lips to Zayn’s, ignoring the way he was squirming and scrambling for purchase to push Ben away. Tears began to roll down Zayn’s cheeks as he continued to fight against Ben’s superior strength, feeling helpless and weaker than ever, while Ben persisted in the kiss, holding Zayn tightly with one hand while the other ran down his side, feeling for the waistband of his trousers and seeking out bare skin.

As Zayn’s struggles began to wane, his tiredness from PE evident, his spirit breaking and feeling resigned to whatever was going to happen no matter how little he wanted it, Ben was suddenly snatched away from him. Zayn looked up in shock, panting a little from exertion and fear, and his eyes widened at the sight before him.

Liam stood tall, broad and imposing, one hand gripping the back of Ben’s shirt and jacket tightly, his eyes flashing with anger as he glared at the other boy.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he demanded.

“What are you talking about?” Ben babbled. “Mind your own fucking business, Payne!”

“I think not, Winston,” Liam practically growled. “I’m pretty sure he told you to get off him, and you’re ignoring that. In my books, and I’m fairly certain in most legal books, that classes as assault.” He tilted his head slightly. “You tell me why I shouldn’t report you.”

“Because there’s no fucking need to,” Ben spat out, shaking himself free of Liam’s hold. “This has fuck-all to do with you, so how about you run along with your thickheaded rugby lot, and leave this well alone.”

“Or, I could punch the shit out of you, and then you could fuck off back under the rock you crawled underneath from,” Liam countered.

“Liam, no,” Zayn managed to find his voice, gently resting a hand on Liam’s arm. “It’s okay. Just let it go, please.”

Liam continued to scowl at Ben for a few more moments, before he turned his attention to Zayn, his expression softening.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently, causing Zayn to nod frantically.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Zayn repeated, desperate to reassure him. “Just… please. Let him go. It’s not worth it.”

“I beg to differ on that,” Liam disagreed. “But, if you’re sure.”

Zayn nodded again.

“Seriously, it’s fine,” he reiterated. “I just wanna go home.”

Liam glared at Ben again.

“Fuck off,” he said bluntly. “And don’t let me catch you even looking at Zayn again.”

“He’s not your fucking property,” Ben retorted.

“I can go straight to Mr Fry, if you’re gonna keep being a wanker, no matter what Zayn says,” Liam threatened. “I’m pretty sure a suspension isn’t going to look too good on your impeccable record.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Ben glowered, but shoved his way past, slamming the door behind him as he left.

Liam let out a deep breath, running a hand through his hair.

“Sorry about that,” he said carefully.

“What the fuck have you got to apologise for?” Zayn demanded, his voice high with indignation. “I’m sorry you got dragged into this.”

“I wasn’t dragged,” Liam huffed. “I kind of wish I’d got here a bit earlier.” He shifted awkwardly. “I dropped my bag when I was leaving the changing rooms and everything went everywhere, so I had to grab it all back.” He cleared his throat a little. “Sorry about following you though.”

“I’m glad you did,” Zayn gave him a small smile. “Why did you follow me?”

“You looked really worried in the changing rooms,” Liam shrugged a shoulder. “I was hoping to catch up to you and offer a friendly ear. Got a bit confused when I saw you coming this way, but then…” he waved a hand, gesturing at the space they were in.

“It all made sense,” Zayn provided.

“Yeah, something like that,” Liam nodded slowly. He paused for a moment, looking at Zayn consideringly. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to Mr Fry?”

Zayn immediately shook his head.

“I don’t think involving the headmaster will make things any easier,” he muttered. “I’d rather just… forget about it, and move on.”

“If you’re sure,” Liam said uncertainly.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine,” Zayn nodded. “I’m used to it, it’s fine.”

Liam frowned again – it was a phrase he was probably hearing all too often from Zayn.

“Well, we’d best get a move on,” Liam said. “We’ll get locked in if we don’t go now. And I don’t particularly want to be shut in school all weekend.”

“God no,” Zayn shuddered. “Sounds like hell.”

The pair began walking out towards the gates, chatting quietly about their weekend plans, before they stopped just outside the main entrance.

“So, um, my mum’s picking me up down there,” Liam pointed down the road.

“Oh, uh, I’m walking that way,” Zayn said, pointing in the opposite direction.

“I’ll see you on Monday then,” Liam smiled.

“Monday morning, yep,” Zayn nodded. “Have a good weekend.”

He took a deep breath and slowly began walking down the road.

“Such an idiot,” he muttered under his breath. “I’m such an idiot.”

✨✨✨✨✨

Liam watched him go for a moment, then made his way down to where his mum was waiting for him.

“Hello, lovely,” Karen Payne greeted him as he climbed into the car. “Good practice?”

She looked over at him when there was no answer.

“Liam?”

“Uh... yeah, yeah, it was, thanks,” Liam replied absentmindedly, his thoughts still with the mysterious older boy he’d just left.

That evening, Liam sat on his bed, scrolling through his phone for a few minutes, before he navigated to Instagram and located Zayn’s profile. As he tapped the ‘follow’ button, he looked carefully at the grid, smiling as he recognised some of the people in the photographs.

He frowned after a moment as he laid down, casting his memory back to the previous academic year – he’d only been in Year 9, and was only just starting to get up the courage to go to rugby training, but he’d heard what was being said by the Year 11s.

“Did you hear some kid in Year 10’s come out as gay?”

Liam remembered a weird twisty feeling of dread in his stomach, not just at the words, but the tone that was used – disgust, anger, hatred.

“It’s going around the whole school.”

“He’s been getting a lot of shit for it.”

“What did he expect? This is an all-boys school!”

Liam sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his face. He remembered the jeers and the way the Year 11s congratulated each other on ‘putting that queer boy in his place’, whatever that was supposed to mean. He remembered not enjoying the environment, not feeling safe, even though he didn’t think he was gay. After a couple of weeks, he’d had enough and gone to Coach Pugh, and the Year 11s weren’t allowed to complete the season – she kicked them all off and told the rest of the team she’d be holding tryouts again in September. Because she couldn’t provide any proof of the accusations, she couldn’t take it to Headmaster Fry, but Liam knew she would have if she could’ve.

He couldn’t help but feel that the thing with Ben was something similar to the shitty Year 11s, but worse. There was obviously some kind of relationship between Zayn and Ben that had come to an end, but other than that… Liam just wanted to be there for Zayn, if he needed him.

He opened up a DM to Zayn and stared at the blinking cursor for a few moments.

Liam: so the thing with Ben today –

He huffed and deleted it, rolling his eyes at himself.

Liam: hey I just wanted you to know that if you ever wanted to chat about anything –

“Fuck sake, Liam,” he muttered under his breath as he backspaced again and shook himself. “Okay. Let’s be casual.”

✨✨✨✨✨

In his room, Zayn was sitting at his electronic drum kit – a concession from his parents when he’d originally begun begging them to let him learn to play when he was 9 years old – when his phone buzzed on the little table beside him. Taking a break, he reached over to pick it up, his eyebrows raising when he read the preview on the screen.

Liam: hey Zayn. Just wanted to check in. hope you’re okay. Ben’s such a fucking knob!!

Zayn: I mean. That’s one word for him. I’m not going to argue against the use of it.

Zayn: but honestly, I’m fine – thank you.

Liam: well, just know that you can talk to me if you need to

Liam: like, we’re friends – I’m happy to be a sounding board, or help you if you need it

Zayn: that’s so sweet of you. Thank you.

Liam: can I ask you something?

Zayn frowned slightly, but pulled his headphones off and moved to his more comfortable bed.

Zayn: you just did! :) but yes. Course.

Liam: I remember some stuff happening last year, and it was horrible, honestly. But it felt a bit like Ben was being a lot like those knobheads who left.

Zayn let out a slow breath. He’d been hoping that Liam wasn’t aware of anything that had happened before – but clearly that was out of the window. He thought quickly, considering his options: did he tell Liam what happened from his perspective, or did he brush it off, and potentially ruin any chance at a proper friendship with the younger boy?

Liam: you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to btw

Liam: I was just trying to understand a bit

Zayn let out a low groan, hiding his face in his pillow for a moment, before he sat up again and started tapping at his phone quickly.

Zayn: it started last September – I don’t even know how it got around, but someone found out I was gay and spread it around the school. You know what gossips are like. But after the summer hols, and after the shitty Yr 11s had left, things had started to calm down a bit. I thought I could finally deal with school properly, y’know?

Zayn: I was in one of the music rooms, practising on a proper drum kit (as opposed to my electronic one here!) and all of a sudden Ben appeared. Said he’d noticed me around, and he thought I was brave for being honest about my identity. I was like ‘wtf is going on’ cos I’d never spoken to him at all, and there he was with no warning up in my space rambling on about how he admired me and shit.

Zayn: I was seriously so lost and was kind of thinking ‘how do I get out of this’ when the next thing I knew he was kissing me.

Liam: wait, he kissed you without asking???? That is NOT cool!!!

Zayn: I mean. When you put it like that.

Zayn: but anyway, I kinda went with it, didn’t really know how to do anything else. And I felt like I should, like… be happy about it? Idk.

Zayn: and then we kept meeting up – I felt a bit like, idk, like I had a boyfriend or something. But he always refused to acknowledge me in public.

Zayn: I guess I should’ve seen that as a red flag, but y'know, first time experiencing something like that. Didn’t really know any different. But I was so excited about it. I felt so grownup, with a big romance or whatever.

Zayn: then I started to realise that things were never quite right. And that we only met up on his schedule, on his say so, on his demand. I started thinking that maybe I deserved more than that, more than being someone’s dirty little secret, or their gay experiment or whatever.

Liam: you definitely deserve better than that.

Zayn: and then I found out that he had a girlfriend. And I definitely have more self-respect than to let myself be the other person in a relationship or whatever. And more respect for the girl than Ben apparently did.

Zayn: so I agreed to meet up with him one last time to properly end it or whatever, and well… you saw how that went.

Liam: I knew he was a dick but omg.

Liam: you’re better without him, I promise you.

Liam: and istg I won’t ever willingly hang out with him again.

Zayn: you don’t need to divide your friendship group over me, Liam

Liam: it’s not completely to do with you – it’s partly how I feel about stuff. I can’t hang out with someone like that. He’s a knob.

Liam: please don’t ever talk to him again

Zayn: I swear that’s not going to happen – would love it if I never saw him again tbh

Liam: I’ll kick his ass if he ever comes near you, I promise you that

Zayn: thank you for being there – it really means a lot.

Liam: in general? Or today in particular?

Zayn: both?

Liam: no problem. Any time. ❤️

Zayn: ❤️

Chapter Text

“Zayn Javadd Malik!”

Zayn flinched at the use of his full name, peering over his shoulder in the middle of PE.

“Erm… Niall James Horan?” he replied uncertainly.

“What is the meaning of this?” Niall demanded, folding his arms over his chest and glaring.

“Uh… 42?” Zayn tried, glancing at Lewis who just shrugged.

“Not the answer to the forgotten question in Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy, but I am impressed at you remembering that,” Niall conceded. “I meant, what is the meaning of you spending so much time with Liam Payne?”

“We’re friends?” Zayn offered.

“You’re always texting, you’ve started having lunch together, and don’t even get me started on you joining the rugby team – what is that even about?” Niall practically growled.

“Well, like I said… we’re friends,” Zayn replied patiently. “He’s lovely.”

“Oh, Zayn,” Niall sighed heavily and leaned against the fence. “Do we need to have the conversation about you not falling for straight boys again?”

“No, we do not,” Zayn rolled his eyes. “I don’t always fall for straight boys. And anyway, how do you know Liam’s straight?”

“Seriously?” Niall demanded. “He is the straightest boy I have ever seen in my life.”

Zayn gazed across the field to where Liam was currently ducking between their classmates with a hockey stick, guiding a small ball up the pitch and successfully scoring a goal, before he let out a heavy sigh.

“I know,” he conceded. “I know this.”

“You need to stop causing yourself pain,” Niall continued.

“I know,” Zayn repeated.

“But he’s not unattractive,” Lewis interjected with an encouraging smile.

“Stop enabling him,” Niall chastised, before looking back at Zayn. “Look, maybe we should meet up with Harry. She’ll know more about him – they were in the same year group.”

“Do we really have to bring my embarrassment up to Harry?” Zayn practically groaned. “I was hoping we’d just have a nice catch up – it feels like forever since we last saw her.”

“We can catch up and still find out more about Liam,” Niall said sensibly.

“We should also see if we can find out more about the new kid,” Lewis said offhandedly.

“There’s a new kid?” Zayn and Niall both chorused.

“Yeah, think he’s from Canada,” Lewis shrugged. “Saw him in Maths. Seemed kinda quiet.”

“So, lots of information to find out, and share with Harry,” Niall said firmly. “I hope she’s getting on okay at the girls’ school though.”

“I’m sure she’d have let us know if it had been too bad,” Zayn reasoned.

“Yeah, we’re her best friends,” Lewis agreed.

✨✨✨✨✨

~ the start of term ~

Harry took a deep breath as she straightened her skirt and her blazer, running her hand over the strap of her bag where it rested on her shoulder, before striding as confidently as she could into the building. She was grateful for the tour that she and her Mum had been on the week before, so at least she knew exactly where she was going for form group that morning, and where her first lesson was. It already felt overwhelming – the corridors were full of light-hearted sounding chatter, laughter and shouts of delight as people caught up after the holidays, but the biggest thing Harry noticed as she stopped at her locker to store her books for the afternoon, was the smell. No more combination of stale and no-so-stale scents of body odour, bodily gases, and excessive sprays of Lynx Africa. Yes, there was the slightly funky smell of multiple fragrances mixing together, and a somewhat questionable odour near the toilets, but nothing on the same level as she’d had to put up with at the boys’ school.

She smiled to herself as she shut the door of her locker and turned to make her way to her form room. It felt right. At last.

~ five weeks later ~

So, it still felt right. But.

Harry hadn’t made any friends.

Admittedly, she’d not exactly tried. The combined fears of being rejected, being mocked, being dismissed – they’d all shouted loudly at her whenever she tried to psych herself up to approach anyone. Harry had hidden herself in books, under her headphones, in the corners of rooms, quietly observing everything and everyone while attempting to maintain a mysterious and aloof air. But she had to admit – to herself, if no one else – she was starting to get lonely.

“Harry Styles,” Miss Lipa’s voice broke through her inner monologuing. “Are you on your phone again?”

“No, miss,” Harry said, quickly trying to shove the phone into her bag.

“C’mon, Harry,” Miss Lipa sighed, holding out her hand. “You know the rules by now. No phones. You can have it back at the end of the day.”

Harry reluctantly handed it over.

“Sorry, miss,” she murmured, ducking her head.

Miss Lipa eyed her for a moment.

“Harry, I have a challenge for you,” she said gently, perching on the edge of the desk in front of Harry.

“Oh?” Harry raised her gaze to meet the teacher’s.

“I want you to make a friend,” Miss Lipa told her firmly. “Before half term next week. Do you think you can manage that?”

“I, uh, I mean…” Harry stammered, blushing a little. “I can… try?”

Miss Lipa continued to watch her for a moment, before nodding once and standing up.

“I think you’re going to do amazingly well here, Harry,” she said reassuringly. “I think you just need to have a bit more faith in yourself. And in your future here.”

Harry flickered a weak smile.

“Thanks, miss,” she murmured.

Sighing heavily, she sat back in her seat and cast her gaze around the room, trying to work out exactly who of her classmates would be the easiest to approach and befriend. More than a few of them were immediately ruled out – Harry had heard the snide comments that had been made when she’d started at the beginning of term, they were definitely not potential friends. There were a few people she thought could be approachable. Sarah and Elin always seemed friendly; Sarah had passed her a book the other day, and Elin lent her a pencil when hers had broken in Maths.

Her eyes caught onto one person in particular, and she felt her breath catch in her throat.

And then there was Louis.

Louis Tomlinson had caught her eye that very first day of starting at the girls’ school, when she’d walked into form class on that very first morning to find Louis walking across the tables on her hands, her skirt falling down around her stomach, revealing a snugly fitting pair of black boxer briefs. She had managed to hand walk from the front of the class to the back and back again, before a passing teacher had come in and told her off. Louis hadn’t shown the slightest bit of remorse, instead laughing loudly and joking with the teacher in such a way that her initial punishment of three days of after school detention had been reduced down to a single lunchtime detention in the library.

Ever since, Harry had been entrapped in the web that was Louis Tomlinson, even though the other girl had never said a word to her. She was unattainable, Harry knew that, and it was well-known that Louis was going out with one of the lads from the local co-ed comprehensive school, unlike most of the girls who seemed to select their beaus exclusively from the boys’ grammar. But even if she hadn’t been straight, Harry knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Louis would never give her the time of day.

The following day, she was still lost in her own world, still trying to figure out how to fulfil Miss Lipa’s request.

“Harry, right?” a voice broke through her thoughts.

Harry looked around, a friendly smile on her face as she caught sight of Sarah holding a hand up.

“Hey, Sarah,” she replied.

“So, we were wondering if you wanted to work with us today?” Sarah asked. “Elin is rubbish at French.”

“Oi, I am not,” Elin practically pouted.

“Oh, you so are,” Sarah retorted.

“I don’t think I’m that much better,” Harry admitted, turning her chair around to face the two girls.

“You can’t be any worse than Elin,” Sarah leaned over to whisper loudly.

“Will you fermé your damn bouche?” Elin glared.

Sarah gestured towards her as if to say, ‘see what I mean’, making Harry giggle quietly into her hand.

“So, how are you finding the girls’ school?” Sarah asked after a while. “You transferred from the boys’, right?”

Harry nodded slowly, looking quickly between the two for any signs of judgement or disdain.

“Yeah, I did,” she said carefully. “It wasn’t right for me, not anymore. Some of the boys were being absolutely horrible. And I was getting detentions for the length of my hair.”

“The length of your hair?” Elin asked incredulously. “Why?”

“Yeah, they have this ridiculous bottom of the ear rule,” Harry rolled her eyes. “And don’t get me started on pronouns – it was like they’d never heard of such a thing.”

“Can I ask something?” Sarah asked hesitantly.

“Course,” Harry shrugged a shoulder. “If I don’t want to answer, I won’t.”

“Well, I was just wondering… your name?” Sarah looked uncertain.

“Y’mean cos Harry’s a boy’s name?” Harry smiled, chuckling a little when both Sarah and Elin nodded. “I’m legally Harriet now. But I like Harry. It’s never not felt like me, not like other things like short hair, he/him pronouns, and the more traditionally masculine cut clothing.” She shrugged a little. “I don’t feel like they/them pronouns fit right either – I tried that for a while last year, with my best friends. She/her is like… the comfiest pair of pyjamas on a snuggly day, d’you know what I mean?”

Sarah nodded and smiled.

“Your friends were cool with you?” she asked.

“Yeah, they were the best,” Harry immediately agreed. “Zayn, Niall, and Lewis. They listened to my confused ramblings when I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me, why I couldn’t connect properly with my body, why I hated the uniform so much, why I hated my clothes so much, when I couldn’t understand that I didn’t just want to be like my big sister, I wanted to be her.” Harry sighed softly. “And they were also there when I had to process that I liked girls.”

Sarah blinked slowly.

“You’re gay?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Harry looked at her for a moment, before breaking into a beaming smile.

“Yeah, I am,” she nodded in agreement.

“Oh good,” Elin grinned. “Another one.” She held up her fist for Harry to bump, Harry blushing as she did so.

“Yeah, so,” Sarah cleared her throat a little awkwardly. “Elin and I are together.”

“I wasn’t going to say,” Elin whispered.

“I know,” Sarah smiled at her girlfriend reassuringly. “I wanted to.”

“This is so cool, y’know,” Harry grinned. “I’m gonna have to introduce you to my friends, we should all hang out sometime.”

“That’d be awesome,” Sarah nodded. “Would we know any of your friends already?”

“I mean, probably not?” Harry pulled a face. “We kinda kept to ourselves. I suppose you may have heard of Zayn though.”

“Malik?” Elin asked. “He’s the kid who came out last year, right?”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “Wasn’t exactly his choice, but yeah. He’s one of my oldest friends – we’ve been friends since nursery.”

“Wow, that’s kinda sweet,” Sarah smiled. “That you’re still friends after all this time.”

“Apparently they’re all falling apart without me looking after them though,” Harry sighed heavily. “Seems like Zayn’s gone and fallen for a straight boy,” she rolled her eyes.

“Ooh, who?” Elin asked, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of a bit of gossip.

“Liam Payne,” Harry shook her head. “The straightest boy in the school, I swear.”

“Gosh, I haven’t heard that name for a while,” Sarah chuckled. “I remember it being a huge thing a few years back.” She looked at Elin. “Can you remember who it was who kissed him at that birthday party?”

“Louis, obviously,” Elin rolled her eyes. “She gets off with everyone.”

Harry felt her smile falter slightly.

“Louis?” she asked, hoping her discomfort wasn’t too noticeable.

“Yeah, you must know Tommo,” Sarah sighed. “Everyone knows her. She’s our very own troublemaker.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to her,” Harry said vaguely.

“She’s lovely,” Elin said firmly.

“Yes, she is,” Sarah agreed. “But she’s a bit of a loose cannon.”

“She’s just a free spirit,” Elin argued. “She doesn’t agree with being confined to societal norms.”

“Because we’re so good at those ourselves,” Sarah mocked.

“You know what I mean,” Elin huffed softly.

“Yeah, I know,” Sarah grabbed her hand, squeezing gently. She looked back at Harry. “But Liam Payne? Definitely straight, as far as I’m aware.”

“I’ll pass that back on to Zayn,” Harry managed to get out.

Chapter Text

“You’re telling me you made your nan a cheesecake?” Zayn asked incredulously.

“Yeah, yeah,” Liam agreed, nodding quickly as he pulled his phone out and started scrolling through the pictures. “Hang on, I’ve got a photo here somewhere.”

“Woah, woah,” Zayn held out a hand to stop him, catching sight of something far more important on the phone. “Who’s this?”

“Oh, that’s Nellie, my dog,” Liam grinned.

“Nellie Payne!” Zayn exclaimed. “Oh, my goodness, she’s adorable!”

“She’s getting a bit old,” Liam elaborated. “But I love her so much.”

“I wish I had a dog,” Zayn said wistfully. “My parents aren’t good with the idea of pets.”

“You should come meet Nellie,” Liam suggested. “Come round my house.”

“Are… are you sure?” Zayn asked uncertainly.

“Yeah, definitely,” Liam nodded firmly. “Are you free Saturday?”

“I think so?” Zayn said. “I’m pretty sure I am.”

Liam ripped a sheet of paper out of the back of his exercise book and scribbled down his address.

“Here,” he said, sliding the paper across the table. “Come around at like… midday?”

“Oh, wow, you’re only about three roads away from me,” Zayn commented as he read over the address. “I’m on Larch Road, off of Laurel?”

“I walk Nellie along there every day,” Liam said in disbelief. “How have we never seen each other before?”

“I have no idea!” Zayn exclaimed. “But I will definitely be over to see you on Saturday.”

✨✨✨✨✨

On Saturday, Zayn was standing at the bottom of the staircase, fussing with his hair as he gazed at his reflection in the large mirror there.

“What the fuck are you doing, little bro?” a voice came from the doorway to the lounge.

“Fuck sake, Doni,” Zayn growled as he jumped in surprise, before he looked at her. “Does my hair make me look stupid?”

“No, your stupid makes you look stupid,” Doniya shrugged. “What’s the matter with it?”

“Is it too short?” Zayn worried, pulling at his hair again.

“It’s the same as you had it done last time,” Doniya said flatly. “I’m sorry, but what the fuck is going on with you? Have you got a date or something?”

“No, no,” Zayn said quickly. “Just… going round a friend’s.”

“Niall’s? Or a boy friend’s?” Doniya needled.

“Not like that, Doni,” Zayn insisted. “He sits next to me in form. His name’s Liam. Liam Payne.”

“Is that like Bond, James Bond?” Doniya teased.

“Oh fuck off,” he huffed, shrugging into his jacket.

“Simple enough question, Zaynie,” Doniya grinned.

“I’ll see you later,” he grumbled.

“Have fun, be good,” she called as he pocketed his keys and let himself out of the house. “And don’t forget you’re looking after Wali and Saf tonight – Mum and Baba are out, and I’m working!”

“I’ll be back by five!” Zayn called back.

He hunched his shoulders against the cold, pulling a beanie hat out of his pocket and forcing it down over his hair before shoving his hands deep into his pockets and walking quickly down the road towards Liam’s.

As he approached the house, he took a deep breath, taking in the sight of the modest-looking brick building. Reaching up, Zayn pressed the doorbell firmly, the two-tone chime ringing through the house, promptly triggering a round of barking. Zayn grinned at the sound and took a step back in preparation for the inevitable when Liam opened the door. Sure enough, as soon as there was room, a brown and white collie threw herself at Zayn, who tugged his beanie off and dropped to his knees just in time to catch her.

“Hi there, hello,” he greeted the dog enthusiastically. “You must be Nellie, hi, hello, aren’t you lovely?”

The dog let out a soft whuff, and licked enthusiastically at Zayn’s cheek.

“Hi,” Liam eventually said, a huge grin on his face as he watched the sight before him, his eyes scrunched up into slits.

“Hi there,” Zayn managed to say, before returning his attention to Nellie.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Liam huffed. “You’re just here for the dog.”

“Yep, definitely,” Zayn agreed. “I’m using you for your dog. Couldn’t give a shit about you.”

“You can go off a person,” Liam grumbled.

“Nah, you can’t,” Zayn grinned. “Your dog likes me too much for that.”

Liam tilted his head slightly as he looked at Zayn.

“Did you… cut your hair?” he asked uncertainly.

“Oh,” Zayn ran a self-conscious hand through his hair. “Uh, yeah, yeah I did. Does it… look a bit shit?”

“No, no,” Liam said quickly. “It looks good! It suits you. Just. Different, that’s all.”

“Had it done this morning,” Zayn shrugged. “Still not sure about it though. Doniya insists it’s how I normally have it, but I’m not so sure.”

“Firstly, we’d best get inside, or Nellie will think we’re going for a W-A-L-K,” Liam chuckled, gesturing for Zayn to come inside and take his coat off. “And secondly; who’s Doniya?”

“My big sister,” Zayn rolled his eyes. “I love her, I do. But she’s a bit… blunt. And she can be a little much for a lot of people because of that? Like, people can’t really cope with her.” He huffed out a breath. “Am I explaining this properly?”

“I know what you mean,” Liam nodded. “Is it just the two of you?”

“Nah, we’ve got two little sisters as well,” Zayn smiled. “Waliyah’s the next down, and Safaa’s the baby of the family.”

“That’s so cool,” Liam grinned. “I’ve just got a big brother,” he rolled his eyes. “The less said about Simon, the better.”

“He’s not nice?” Zayn raised an eyebrow.

“That’s an understatement,” Liam said flatly. “He’s just always known which buttons to press to wind me right up, y’know?”

Zayn nodded.

“There’s a few people like that at school,” he agreed. He followed Liam through the house. “I have to ask – do you actually like that James bloke on the team?”

“Corden?” Liam asked, looking back to see Zayn nod. “Well… he’s okay. He’s one of the more reliable players. He’s a bit of a knob, personality wise.”

“Hmm,” Zayn said noncommittally. “That’s one way of putting it.”

Liam chuckled as they entered the kitchen, finding a woman fussing around with the hob of the oven.

“Mum, this is Zayn,” he introduced. “Zayn, this is my mum, Karen.”

“It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs Payne,” Zayn said politely, holding out his hand.

“Don’t be so silly, dear,” Karen Payne pushed his hand to one side and pulled him into a tight hug. “Call me Karen. It’s always nice to meet Liam’s friends.” She looked at them both. “Did I hear you talking about that Corden boy?” Liam and Zayn both nodded, and Karen’s expression darkened a little. “I don’t like him,” she stated firmly. “His parents are too busy living their ridiculous lives to parent him properly. He’s going to grow up with a contempt for authority, if he hasn’t already got one. Mark my words, he’ll wind up in prison, the way he’s been left to run riot.”

“Mum’s got some Opinions,” Liam told Zayn, his tone emphasising the capital O of the word.

“Yes, I do,” Karen agreed. “And one of the most important Opinions I have is that you are a good boy, Liam. You surround yourself with good friends. And I am proud to have you as my son.”

Liam flushed a little and ducked his head a little.

“Well, uh,” he stammered a little. “We’re gonna go play some Mario Kart,” he managed to get out. “Let us know if you need anything, mum.”

“Will do, darling,” Karen beamed again.

Liam led the way upstairs to his room, shutting the door firmly behind them and rubbing his hands over his face.

“Fucking hell,” he groaned quietly. “I’m so sorry about that,” he added quickly. “I don’t bring friends around often, so Mum’s kinda goes a bit overboard when I do.”

“That’s understandable,” Zayn smiled. “She’s just proud of you. She’s allowed to be. She’s your mum.”

“There’s times when it’s a bit much, that’s all,” Liam sighed, dropping onto the end of the bed. “Did you wanna play though?”

“Sure,” Zayn shrugged a shoulder. “Not sure how good I am though.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Liam said reassuringly. “I can always give you some hints or something.”

“Thanks,” Zayn said gratefully. “Oh, I heard it’s supposed to snow today.”

“Snow?” Liam raised an eyebrow. “But, it’s March already. Why would it snow today?”

“Because it’s cold enough?” Zayn chuckled.

“That’s so weird,” Liam shook his head.

Fifteen minutes into their game, Liam shook his head again and then looked accusingly at Zayn.

“I thought you said you weren’t very good,” he stated.

“I said I wasn’t sure how good I was,” Zayn smirked. “It was you who assumed from that statement that I wasn’t very good at all. I just meant that I normally end up being beaten out by my baby sister, because she gets the most practice.” He paused for a moment. “But I beat everyone else in my family, and all of my friends.”

“This really isn’t fair,” Liam pouted.

“You can be good at real life sports, and I’ll take the digital ones,” Zayn suggested.

“No, no, that’s not right,” Liam denied, reaching over to try and physically sabotage Zayn’s turn.

“Nope, no,” Zayn just held the controller up higher. “You forgot the whole ‘little sister’ part of my story, didn’t you? I’m used to distractions. I’ve just worked out how to work through them.”

“You say that, until you fall foul of it,” Liam grumbled. “I’m not giving up.”

“Never thought you would,” Zayn chuckled. “No matter how much of a loser you’re onto.”

“This is so not fair,” Liam protested again.

“Hey, hey, wait a sec,” Zayn interrupted, catching sight of the weather outside. “Liam… it’s snowing.”

They stared at each other for a few moments before bouncing to their feet and getting themselves bundled up into layers of clothing, with Zayn borrowing an extra couple of jumpers. Calling for Nellie, who replied with very enthusiastic barking, they made their way outside where sure enough, thick and fluffy flakes of snow spiralled and flurried down around them, already beginning to pitch and settle in small mounds around the garden.

“I can’t remember the last time it snowed like this,” Liam exclaimed. “It’s amazing!”

“Part of me wishes it wasn’t half term,” Zayn grinned.

“Why?” Liam looked at him in disbelief.

“So that we could have a snow day, obviously,” Zayn snickered. “Extra time off school is always a bonus!”

“This is very true,” Liam conceded. “I take your point there. That would’ve been cool.” He thought for a moment and rolled his eyes. “Although, some of the kids would’ve been utter dicks.”

The two boys looked at each other and said together: “James.”

After an hour spent playing in the snow with Nellie, they went back inside, panting heavily and grinning from ear to ear.

“You boys are going to catch your death,” Karen fussed. “Liam, get some clean and dry clothes for Zayn – he can’t go home in those, he’ll freeze.”

“I’m only a couple of roads away, Karen,” Zayn insisted. “I promise, I’ll have a shower as soon as I get in.”

“Make sure you do,” she said firmly. “I don’t want to hear from Liam that you’ve wound up spending your half term in bed.”

Liam rolled his eyes a little, handing over a towel for Zayn’s hair, as Karen went to put the kettle on.

“You’re already her favourite, I swear,” he grumbled good-naturedly.

“It’s a gift,” Zayn shrugged. “I can’t help it.”

Liam shook his head and chuckled, throwing a blanket over Zayn’s head.

“C’mon, we can watch telly for a bit before you have to go,” he suggested.

Zayn nodded in agreement and wrapped himself up in the blanket before he curled up on the end of the sofa, Nellie making herself comfortable on his legs.

“You’re taking over my whole family, I hope you realise,” Liam told him as he carried in the large mugs of tea that Karen had made for them. “I feel like I should be telling you to back off or something.”

“I promise I’m only borrowing them temporarily,” Zayn grinned, thanking him quietly for the tea. “I’ll give them back in the same condition.”

“You’d better,” Liam grinned, settling in next to Zayn and Nellie on the sofa.

A cup of tea and three episodes of Friends later, Zayn reluctantly pulled his shoes and jacket back on, topped with an extra hoody provided by Liam.

“You really have to go?” Liam asked, pouting a little.

“Yeah,” Zayn nodded with a sigh, tugging his beanie over his hair. “Doni roped me into babysitting the terrible two.”

“Well, Nellie is definitely going to miss you,” Liam told him seriously, the dog in question letting out a low whuff at the sound of her name.

“I’m going to miss Nellie too,” Zayn promised. “But I will definitely come and see her again soon.”

“Just her?” Liam asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I suppose I could see you as well,” Zayn said in a put-out tone. “Y’know, as you’re here and all.”

“That would be very kind and considerate of you,” Liam nodded slowly.

“I try, I try,” Zayn grinned. “Thanks for the loan of the hoody, by the way. I’ll get it cleaned and bring it back on Monday.”

“You’re welcome,” Liam smiled. “Just don’t slip and die on the ice, okay? I want that hoody back in one piece!”

“I’ll do my best,” Zayn waved over his shoulder as he walked down the road.

Liam shut the door with a smile and ushered Nellie back to the kitchen, where Karen was sat sipping at another cup of tea and flicking through a magazine.

“Zayn seems nice,” she commented casually.

“Yeah, he is,” Liam replied, feeling a little guarded.

“Where did you meet him?”

“We sit together in form – you remember me saying that we were all rearranged for the start of term?” Liam rinsed his mug out at the sink and flicked the kettle on to heat, leaning back against the countertop to wait.

“Oh yes, the whole school rearranged, and Mr Murs likes to have a seating plan,” Karen recalled.

“Yeah,” Liam nodded. “So, Zayn got sat next to me. He’s in the year above me, but he’s really cool. And he joined the rugby team – he’s really fast.”

Karen hummed softly.

“You’re different around him than your other friends,” she observed quietly.

“I-I am?” Liam stammered, blinking quickly.

The kettle flicked off as it reached boiling point, and he turned to make himself a cup of tea, trying to understand why his hands were beginning to shake and his heart started to race at the sound of his mum’s words.

“Yes,” Karen continued, completely unaware of the near-existential crisis her son was currently going through. “You’re more yourself. Less… like you’re trying to fit in.” She paused for a moment. “You seem more comfortable around him.”

“O-oh,” Liam cleared his throat and stirred his tea vigorously. “I, uh, I didn’t realise I was any different.”

“Just my opinion,” Karen said reassuringly. “Your friends probably wouldn’t notice any different.”

“Hmm,” Liam said noncommittally. “Erm. Mum? D’you mind if I go up to my room? I’ve got some homework to do.”

“Of course you can, sweetie,” she said immediately. “I’ll give you a call when dinner’s ready.”

“Thanks,” Liam smiled and took his tea with him upstairs, leaving Nellie with his mum in the warm kitchen.

He set his mug down on his bedside table and climbed onto his bed, sitting up against the headboard and sighing softly as he looked out of his window at the falling snow. His thoughts were racing as he went over and over what his mum had said. After a few minutes, he pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through the photos he and Zayn had taken that day in the snow. The same thing kept spiralling on repeat.

Why can’t I stop thinking about him?

✨✨✨✨✨

Zayn let himself in at home, tugging his beanie off and shoving it into the pocket of one of his jackets hung on the wall, before looking at his reflection there in the mirror. He sighed as he looked at the oversized hoody, lifting up the neckline to sniff at it carefully, the scent of Liam’s body wash and general smell almost overwhelming him. He dropped his head forward into his hands, rubbing carefully at his eyes as he felt them start to burn with emotion.

“Oh good, you’re he-” Doniya started and cut off as she spotted him. “Zayn? What happened?”

Zayn lifted his head and turned slightly to look at her, his feelings of desperate helplessness visible on his face.

“I fell for a straight boy,” he said slowly, forcing a chuckle at the end of his sentence that broke before it was even halfway complete.

“Shit,” Doniya whispered, crossing to him quickly and pulling him into her arms, hugging him tightly. “It’s gonna be okay, baby bro,” she murmured reassuringly, squeezing carefully.

He shook his head, but clung on anyway.

Chapter Text

The following weekend, the doorbell at the Malik house rang. Zayn rushed to answer it, grinning at the sight of Liam standing there.

“Hi,” Zayn breathed.

“Hi,” Liam beamed.

“C’mon in,” Zayn stepped back.

He gave Liam a quick tour of the house, ending up in his own bedroom.

“I can’t believe you have your own drum kit,” Liam said in awe. “Like, I can’t believe you’re that good. It’s so unfair.”

“Hey, I put in a lot of work,” Zayn protested. “It’s not like I just picked up a pair of drumsticks and could miraculously play.”

“No, no, I get that,” Liam backtracked. “I just wish I had the ability – I’ve got no rhythm.”

“Oh, I don’t believe that,” Zayn scoffed. “You just haven’t tried.” He grabbed the drumsticks from the holder and held them out. “Look, sit down, have a go.”

Liam looked at him doubtfully, but took the drumsticks, perching uncertainly on the stool and tapping awkwardly at one of the disks.

“No, no,” Zayn shook his head. “Budge over, I’ll show you.”

A moment later, the two boys were balanced precariously on the small stool, and Zayn was guiding Liam through a simple drum riff. Liam followed Zayn’s guidance, but still looked unsure as they finished with a clash of the cymbals.

“See?” Zayn grinned. “You’re like a pro now.”

“Err…”

“Well,” Zayn blushed suddenly and stood up quickly, nearly overturning Liam in his haste. “That’s probably not really the best way to teach you, anyway.” He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “Homework?”

Within ten minutes, Zayn was stretched out on the living room floor, working through his maths homework while Liam sprawled on the sofa, reading for English. Peace reigned for an hour, as they both made progress through their work, until Liam got bored.

“Are you done yet?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“Just got a few problems left,” Zayn replied absently, his focus still on algebra.

“I’m bored,” Liam declared. “C’mon, Zayn. You don’t need to finish that now.”

“Let me just get these last couple, then I’ll be with you,” Zayn promised.

Before he could write the next problem down, his book was snatched away.

“Excuse me!” he protested.

“You’re such a nerd,” Liam said affectionately. “I can’t believe you’re actually worried about the extra credit problems.”

“I like maths,” Zayn huffed. “And it looks good on my reports.” He reached out for the book. “Now, give it back.”

“Nope,” Liam held it up over his head out of Zayn’s reach.

“Oh c’mon, stop being a knob,” Zayn grumbled, kneeling up and stretching for it.

“Nuh uh,” Liam shook his head, moving out of the way, determined to make Zayn relax a little. “You’re gonna have to get it from me.”

“You’re being a twat, you are aware of this, right?” Zayn asked him a little more seriously. “Just let me have my book back, and I’ll put it away.”

“You’re not gonna fight for it?” Liam looked at him, mock pouting in disappointment, as his arm started to fall.

Zayn huffed out a laugh and made a grab for the book. Liam grabbed back, wrapping his arms around Zayn’s waist and spinning them around, landing heavily on the floor with a grunt.

“Oh, ow, fuck,” Liam groaned.

“Ha, I win!” Zayn crowed.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Liam retorted, turning them both around so he was up over Zayn, knees either side of Zayn’s hips, and his weight braced on his hands either side of Zayn’s head, both of them panting a little with the effort.

“Why are you so fucking strong?” Zayn grumbled.

“I’m not that strong,” Liam denied. “You’re just small.”

“Yeah, well, you’re a ‘rugby lad’, aren’t you?” Zayn raised a challenging eyebrow.

“Excuse me, a ‘rugby lad’??” Liam raised his eyebrows back.

“Yeah, a proper lad,” Zayn insisted.

“Oh, so you’re saying I should be going downtown for a cheeky Nando’s?” Liam asked. “Calling you mate? Getting the lads round? All about the banter, bruv!”

“Oh my god, never do that again,” Zayn groaned. “That was diabolical.”

“Y’know how it is mate!” Liam continued.

“All right, all right, you win, I give!” Zayn huffed.

Liam grinned down at him, and Zayn blushed hard as both of them seemed to realise their positions at the same time and awkwardly moved apart, Liam rolling onto his back alongside Zayn. He turned his head to look at Zayn after a moment.

“Mario Kart?” he suggested.

The rest of the afternoon passed in that way – with video games, lighthearted chatter, and endless cups of tea, until the front door opened and admitted the rest of Zayn’s family, all loudly chattering about nothing at all. Zayn caught sight of the slightly shocked expression on Liam’s face, and wondered if he was now understanding how Zayn had felt meeting Karen the week before. The family fell quiet as they realised the other person in the room.

“Beta?” Zayn’s dad asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Baba,” Zayn blushed a little. “Uh, this is Liam. From school.” He cleared his throat. “Liam, this is Yaser, my dad, Tricia, my mum, Doniya’s my big sister, and the smaller terrors are Waliyah and Safaa.”

Liam waved awkwardly.

“It, uh it’s nice to meet you,” he stuttered out.

“Zayn brought home a boy,” Safaa whispered to Waliyah.

“Uh huh,” Waliyah replied. The two girls looked at each other, and promptly burst into fits of giggles.

Zayn sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly.

“How about you go to the living room, honey,” Tricia suggested. “The girls can go and clean up, and we’ll get the shopping put away.” She looked at Doniya. “Can you help the little ones please, Doni?”

“Mama,” Doniya started to protest.

“Doniya,” Tricia said firmly.

“Okay, okay,” she huffed softly. “Wali, Saf, get moving.”

“Pizza okay for you boys?” Tricia asked as Zayn started towards the living room. “We bought a cheese feast that you can share?”

“Sounds good, Mama,” Zayn smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Thank you.”

She nodded once, as Yaser turned the oven on and grabbed the shopping bags, putting them up onto the counter.

“Your family seem nice,” Liam offered as they made themselves comfortable on the sofa.

“They’re not too bad,” Zayn shrugged a shoulder. “The kids can get a bit much sometimes.”

“You and your dad are definitely outnumbered,” Liam chuckled.

“We really are,” Zayn huffed.

✨✨✨✨✨

A few hours later, the pizza had been mostly eaten, a couple of films had been watched – a shared love of Marvel discovered and indulged upon – and the two boys were still curled up on the sofa. However, while Liam was still awake and watching as Steve Rogers tried desperately to get Bucky Barnes to remember him, Zayn had wrapped himself up in a thick blanket and fallen asleep, curled up and facing Liam, one hand stretched out between them.

Liam glanced over at Zayn, biting his lip as he took in the snuggly appearance. He glanced down at the hand on the sofa, and took a deep breath as he slowly reached out one hand, holding it close enough to feel Zayn’s warmth. Before they could actually touch though, he pulled back, shaking his head a little at himself.

Zayn let out a low groan, before stirring and shifting a little, rubbing at his eyes as he let out a yawn.

“Shit,” he muttered, blinking owlishly. “Fuck, did I fall asleep?”

“Just for a little bit,” Liam smiled softly. “You missed a bit.”

“Ah, bugger,” Zayn sighed.

“And, I kinda need to go home,” Liam continued.

“Oh,” Zayn pouted a little. “That sucks.”

“It does,” Liam agreed. “But I’ll see you Monday?”

Zayn nodded and got to his feet, keeping the blanket wrapped around him as he walked Liam out to the hallway, waiting patiently as Liam tugged his jacket on.

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” he murmured.

“I wish I didn’t either,” Liam admitted. “You look so cuddly like that.”

“I do?” Zayn raised an eyebrow.

“Mmhmm,” Liam nodded.

Before he could second guess himself, he took a step closer and wrapped his arms around Zayn, blanket and all, hugging him tightly. Zayn froze for a moment, before slowly bringing his hands up to rest gently on Liam’s back. Liam let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, luxuriating in the experience.

All too soon, he pulled back, blushing hard as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Okay, well, uh, yeah, I’ll see you on Monday,” he stammered.

“Walk safe home,” Zayn told him. “See you Monday.”

✨✨✨✨✨

The front door shut firmly behind Liam a moment later, leaving Zayn looking at it in bemusement.

“I don’t think he’s straight,” Doniya stated, making Zayn jump at her sudden appearance.

“What?” he asked her incredulously.

“You heard me,” she shrugged.

✨✨✨✨✨

Meanwhile, Liam walked the three roads to get back to his home, his thoughts racing at a mile a minute as he tried to understand what was happening with him. He let himself into his home, shrugging out of his jacket to hang it up.

“Liam?” Karen’s voice filtered out of the lounge. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah,” Liam replied.

“… are you okay?”

“Yep, I’m fine,” Liam answered. “Going to bed. See you in the morning.”

“Okay, darling,” Karen replied.

Liam felt her watch him, concern as heavy in her gaze as if she were physically pressing her hands on his shoulders, while he climbed the stairs to his bedroom. Liam sighed heavily as he dropped onto his bed, rubbing hard at his face. He spotted his laptop on the side and took a deep breath. He changed quickly into his pyjamas, before he grabbed his laptop and made himself comfortable as he opened the screen up and navigated to a browser window.

He bit at the inside of his cheek as he watched the blinking cursor for a few minutes, psyching himself up to begin typing.

am i gay?

Swallowing hard, he closed his eyes and pressed ‘enter’. Within a fraction of a second, over three billion results flashed up on his screen. Liam huffed softly, feeling a cold sweat start to form over his forehead and across the back of his neck. Rubbing at his eyes with one hand, he steeled himself and guided the cursor to hover over the Buzzfeed result – a quiz to assess his level of gayness. He figured it was as good a result as any, and clicked once.

A few minutes later, he felt that maybe that was the wrong result, and returned to Google and the intimidating cursor.

how to tell if youre gay

The inevitable rabbit hole that Liam tumbled down after that took him through the night and well into the early hours of the morning, as he read and read and read until words started to lose their meaning, his bedside clock read 04:00am, and his head and eyes were both pounding from lack of sleep and staring at a screen all night. He pulled his phone towards him, looking at a photo he’d taken of Zayn at his drums a few days before. Sighing heavily, he tugged his laptop over again and stared at the damn cursor once more.

i like girls but now theres a boy???

His finger hovered over the ‘enter’ key again, twitching slightly, but before he could press it, he slammed the lid of his laptop closed and buried his face in his hands instead.

“Fuck…” he whispered.

Liam rolled over on his bed, tugging his duvet up over his shoulders and burying his face in his pillow. He could just about pick up the scent of Zayn from where they’d been playing on the Nintendo Switch the day before. Liam curled up tighter, feeling tears gathering in his eyes as his emotions began to overwhelm him even more.

“Help me,” he mumbled, not really sure who he was asking, but hoping that someone out there in the universe could hear him and send some form of salvation.

Chapter Text

Two weeks later Zayn found himself sitting on the team bench, while the rugby team played a home game against a school from three towns over. Not really able to follow what was going on (despite Liam’s previous repeated and ever patient explanations of the rules and gameplay), he was instead texting his friends.

Zayn: hey so about Liam Payne

Niall: what about him? what did he do? do I need to kick his ass???

Zayn: down boy. No. I think maybe he might like me back? Like, I don’t think he’s entirely straight?

Lewis: … care to explain?

Haz: wait a sec. Liam PAYNE? He’s so straight omg.

Zayn: no, no, wait.

Zayn: let me explain

Zayn: we literally spent EVERY DAY of the Easter hols together. And like… he’s more… touchy? And he never misses an opportunity to hug me.

Zayn: and then… sometimes? I just. Catch him looking at me. ykwim?

Niall: so. Okay. I didn’t want to do this. But.

Lewis: Niall, leave it.

Niall: no, I have to be honest!

Niall: there’s a girl at the girls’ school that Liam likes.

Zayn: how do you know that? And what girl?

Niall: I’m kind of mates with Mitch, one of the rugby lads – we did the summer musical together last year. And I knew you liked Liam, so I put out some feelers, pretended like I knew someone was interested. And he said that Liam’s got a crush on this girl. Has had for years. Louis Tomlinson.

Haz: Louis Tomlinson???

Zayn: do you know her Haz?

Haz: no, never spoken to her, not even sure I know who she is

Zayn: are you sure about this Ni?

Niall: as sure as I can be. Sorry Zaynie.

Zayn: it’s fine.

Zayn: should’ve known better.

Zayn: how’s school, Haz?

Haz: it’s going okay. I made friends. : )

Zayn: just don’t forget about us, okay?

Haz: never <3 meet up on Saturday? Film night at Ni’s?

Niall: erm, excuse me, but what if I have plans?

Lewis: you never have plans.

Zayn flickered a smile at his phone as his friends’ group chat descended into bickering. He took a deep breath and lifted his head to look at the game, glancing over at the scoreboard and smiling a little more as he realised they were winning. With that, the final whistle blew, and Liam immediately stopped and turned to look over at the bench.

“Zayn!” he yelled excitedly. “We won!”

Before Zayn realised what was happening, Liam ran full pelt across the pitch, sliding to a halt in front of him and wrapping his hot, sweaty, and very muddy arms around him, picking him up into a tight hug and twirling him around, making Zayn squawk in protest.

“We won!” Liam repeated. “Did you see that?”

“I did!” Zayn laughed as Liam put him down. “Well done!”

“We couldn’t have done it without you,” Liam told him earnestly.

“Liam, I didn’t even set foot on the pitch,” Zayn replied, rolling his eyes.

“Maybe not, but we wouldn’t have been allowed to play without a reserve,” Liam grinned. “So, game time or not, you were still crucial.”

Zayn huffed and pushed him gently towards the changing rooms.

“Go shower, Rugby Lad,” he demanded. “You smell.”

Half an hour later, Zayn and Liam walked out together, Zayn still insisting that Liam was covered in mud.

“Did you even get wet?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, I did!” Liam swore, shaking his hair and getting drops of water over Zayn, making him splutter in protest.

✨✨✨✨✨

“So, are you going to James Corden’s party on Saturday?”

Zayn looked up from where he was finishing off his history homework, raising an eyebrow as Liam sat next to him.

“Uh, well… I was invited?” he offered. “But I kinda wasn’t planning on actually going. There’ll be like… two hundred people there or something, won’t there?”

“Oh god, please come,” Liam practically begged. “All my other friends are absolute fucking knobs and I really do not want to spend time with them.”

Zayn raised the other eyebrow.

“Maybe you need new friends,” he suggested.

“I’ve got you now, haven’t I?” Liam teased, then nudged at Zayn’s arm. “C’mon, please? It’s gonna be shit without you.”

Zayn let out an exaggeratedly heavy sigh.

“If I say yes, will you shut up and let me finish my homework?” he bartered.

“I can absolutely do that,” Liam agreed.

“Then… fine,” Zayn relented. “I’ll come to the damn party.” He held up a hand. “But if anyone’s a dickhead, I reserve the right to leave.”

“Absolutely, completely agree,” Liam nodded quickly. “That’s fucking wicked. I’m looking forward to it now!” He caught sight of the pointed expression on Zayn’s face. “And now I’m gonna shut up so you can do your homework.”

He pulled his own work out of his bag and settled down to read it through, a bright smile still on his face.

Chapter Text

That Saturday, Yaser pulled the car up outside a large hotel, looking dubiously through the windscreen as he took in the loud, pulsating music, the bright lights, the excess of youths, and a distinct lack of adult presence.

“I’m not so sure about this, Beta,” he said uncertainly.

“It’ll be fine, Baba,” Zayn said quickly. “Look, I promise I won’t drink any alcohol, I won’t leave my drinks unattended, and if I feel unsafe at all in any way, I’ll call immediately.”

Yaser glanced between the hotel and his only son, before letting out a sigh as he reached out a hand to gently grip the back of Zayn’s neck, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Promise you’ll call,” he said quietly. “No matter what it is. Call. I’ll be here in less than ten minutes.”

“Baba…” Zayn protested mildly, knowing they lived at least twenty-five minutes away.

“I mean it,” Yaser swore. “I’m not having a repeat of last year. You need to leave, you call. I’ll be here.”

“Okay, Baba,” Zayn murmured. “I promise I’ll call if I need to leave.” He leaned over, pressing his forehead to his dad’s shoulder. “See you later.”

“I’ll be here at ten o’clock,” Yaser told him.

“Baba…” Zayn protested again. “Why not eleven?”

“Because I’ll be here at ten,” Yaser said stubbornly.

“Half past?” Zayn bargained.

Yaser looked back at the hotel and sighed heavily.

“Fine, half past, but not a second later,” he said firmly.

Zayn grinned and threw open the door, clambering out quickly.

“Thanks, Baba,” he said happily, sticking his head back in the car.

“Oh, and Zayn?”

“Yes, Baba?”

“Have fun, Beta,” Yaser smiled softly.

“I will,” Zayn nodded enthusiastically, then checked his pockets for his phone before shutting the car door carefully and making his way up to the grand entrance.

He shook his head a little as he took in the ridiculous extravagance. James Corden was in his year, but one of the rugby lads who’d been on the fringe while his life had been so awful the year before. He’d managed to escape any form of punishment because he hadn’t been directly involved, and his parents had a lot of money – which had never been more clearly evidenced than at his sixteenth birthday party. Zayn raised an eyebrow as an actual adult came into sight just inside the door, in the form of a bouncer.

“Is your name on the list, kid?” came the gruff question.

“Err, yeah, Zayn Malik,” he said quietly, having to repeat it at the barked ‘what?’.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re here, in you go, lad,” the security guard waved him on through.

“So fucking weird,” Zayn muttered, immediately wincing as a bright light flashed into his eyes and the volume seemed to ramp up even higher.

He slowly made his way into the hotel, following the stream of bodies as they led the way to the ballroom – an actual fucking ballroom with a fucking chandelier and a glitterball, seriously what was this place?? – before he started to look around for the reason he was even there. There was a DJ at one end of the ballroom, huge speakers on either side of their deck that were pumping music into the room, which was practically filled with bodies all moving around, some grinding on each other, some just messing around, but all clearly having fun.

Zayn searched the faces he could make out, recognising some from school, from other social events, some even from the co-ed middle school he’d been to. Just as he was beginning to feel a little desperate, a familiar brunet head turned towards the entrance and spotted Zayn right back. Zayn beamed at the sight of Liam, who immediately began weaving in and out of the people to make his way over to Zayn.

“Hi!” Zayn greeted enthusiastically.

“Hi,” Liam grinned. “You made it.”

“Yeah, my dad dropped me off,” Zayn nodded. “Getting picked up at half ten.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Liam commented, before shaking his head quickly. “Okay, what is wrong with us? Why is this weird and awkward?”

“I have no idea!” Zayn rolled his eyes.

“Shall we go get a drink?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Zayn nodded quickly.

Liam led the way into the quieter bar area next door, getting them both pints of coke before they sat down at a table. They immediately turned closer to each other, shutting out the rest of the party and chatting as they normally did when they got together, joking and teasing each other.

“Oi, Liam!” a voice broke into their conversation.

Liam sighed heavily.

“Hi, James,” he said reluctantly.

“What are you doing hanging out in here?” James demanded. “It’s so boring.” He gave Zayn a dismissive look.

“Well, we’re actually having a conversation,” Liam said slowly.

James approached the table, flanked by a few of the other rugby boys.

“I’ve got some important news for you,” James declared. “You’re gonna wanna hear this.”

“Oh right,” Liam said unenthusiastically, looking at Zayn apologetically. “What’s that then?”

“Louis Tomlinson is here,” James said dramatically.

“W-what?” Liam stammered, looking a little confused.

“Remember her?” James smirked. “You had such a crush on her back in Year 8. You two ended up making out at the end of the co-ed disco the schools put on.”

“I wouldn’t say we were ‘making out’,” Liam protested weakly as he blushed hard.

“Now’s your chance for a second chance,” James continued on as though Liam hadn’t spoken – and if you asked Zayn, he probably hadn’t even realised that anyone else had said anything anyway. “Go tell her how you feel, mate. Get in there!” He glanced at Zayn. “Zayn’s in agreement, aren’t you mate?”

“Uh, um, I m-mean, if… if you want?” Zayn stammered, flushing just as red as Liam.

“I haven’t seen Louis in years,” Liam tried, as James wrapped a hand around his arm and practically lifted him from the stool. “I’m fairly sure she’s forgotten who I am.”

“Then you’d best start reminding her, mate!” James said enthusiastically, guiding him away from the bar area and towards the hallway. “C’mon, lad, you can’t let that go untapped – she’s the fucking shit, you know that! And she got really fucking hot.”

“I… I’m not sure about this,” Liam mumbled, stretching his head to glance back at Zayn, who was looking dejectedly at the table.

“Hello, ladies!” James greeted the large crowd of girls in the next room, getting eye rolls and cringes all around. “Louis! There’s someone here to see you!”

Louis Tomlinson stepped over, raising an eyebrow.

“Liam Payne,” she greeted, her low voice rasping over the syllables. “There’s a face I’ve not seen in a while.”

“Um, hiya Lou,” Liam mumbled, as the boys quickly lost interest and left the pair of them alone. “Fucking hell. I’m so sorry about this. They’re all absolute fucking knobjockeys, I swear to god.”

“Nah, you’re alright,” Louis shrugged an elegant shoulder. “It’s nice to see you though. It has been a long time.”

“You ghosted me!” Liam protested.

“You kissed me and ran away,” Louis pointed out.

“Umm… fair point,” Liam chuckled, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. “In that case, I apologise.”

“Not a problem, love,” Louis shrugged. “Besides, if I’m completely honest, kissing you just made me realise that… I’m not into boys. Like. At all.”

Liam blinked slowly.

“You mean…?”

“Yeah,” Louis sighed. “It’d probably solve a lot of problems with your knobjockey mates if I just came out and told people that I’m a raging lesbian.” She huffed softly, folding her arms over her chest. “I just… figured it was no one else’s business, y’know what I mean?”

“No, you’re absolutely right,” Liam said quickly. “You should decide how and when to come out – it’s not for anyone else to say, or to pressure you into, at all.” He paused for a moment, then smiled softly. “I’ve been hanging out with Zayn Malik a lot lately – do you know him?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know Zayn,” Louis nodded quickly, giving Liam a reassuring smile. “Lad in my year, right? Got outed last year?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Liam confirmed. “We got sat together at the form reshuffle in January, so we’ve been hanging out and stuff. He’s like… really cool. He’s here tonight, actually.”

Louis looked at him for a few moments, her eyebrows slowly raising before she smiled and nodded once.

“I’ll see you around, Liam,” she chirped. “Have a good evening… say hi to Zayn for me.”

“Um, yeah, sure,” Liam nodded uncertainly, watching her walk away, feeling a little wrongfooted by the way Louis had looked at him and abruptly ended their conversation.

He shrugged it off and turned around, retracing his steps back to the bar, sighing when he spotted the empty table where he’d left Zayn. Huffing softly, he made his way to the main ballroom, hoping to find him in the mass of bodies there somehow.

“Mate, have you heard?” James shoved at his shoulder excitedly. “There’s a pair of girls going at it on the dancefloor! Fucking lesbians, mate!”

Liam looked at him distastefully.

“So what?” he asked. “Does it really matter?”

James stopped and looked at him in confusion.

“Huh?”

“Stop fetishizing other people’s sexualities,” Liam chastised firmly. “It’s not fucking cool. In fact, it’s a proper dick move. Don’t be a fucking knob.”

“I just… they’re girls, mate,” James tried, looking around at his mates, who’d all taken a step or two away from him.

“Yeah, but would you care if it was a boy and a girl?” Liam demanded.

“Well, no,” James muttered.

“So, get a fucking grip,” Liam glared. “It’s no fucking different. Grow the fuck up.”

James folded his arms over his chest, suddenly getting defensive.

“What’s with you hanging out with that Zayn kid, anyway?” he demanded.

“What?” Liam looked at him in confusion, trying to work out how the subject was changed so dramatically. “What are you on about?”

“You know what I’m saying,” James pushed. “Why are you hanging out with him? He’s a right nerd.”

“He’s my friend,” Liam said firmly.

“But why?”

“We just are?”

“He got all famous last year cos the lads bullied him,” James huffed. “Which if you ask me was a massive overreaction. What the fuck did he expect?” He paused and looked at Liam. “Wait, do you feel sorry for him? Cos he’s gay?” Liam frowned slightly. “No, no, I’ve got it – do you think he fancies you?! Oh my god, how sad is that?”

Liam felt his mood change in a split second.

“You know what, James?” he practically growled. “Fuck. You.” He took a step forward, getting up in James’ face and shoving him backwards. “You’re a pathetic, homophobic, self-obsessed dickhead, and I really, really, do not fucking like you.” He took a step back, looking James up and down distastefully. “Happy fucking birthday.”

He shook his head and wound his way through the crowd, seeing a circle had opened up around a couple on the dancefloor. He sighed inwardly, hating that it was still a ‘thing’ that anyone outside of the heteronormative box was considered ‘other’ and therefore deserving of excessive attention, and in worse cases, mockery. Liam paused for a moment, taking in the rainbow of lights that surrounded the girls – he vaguely recognised them as Sarah Jones and Elin Sandberg from the girls’ grammar school – and couldn’t help but feel that it was appropriate.

Taking a deep breath, he went back to scanning the crowd, smiling when he spotted Zayn leaning up against a wall, holding onto a glass. Liam weaved his way in and out of the masses, finally coming to lean against the wall next to Zayn.

“Hi,” he raised his voice to be heard above the music.

“Hi,” Zayn replied, looking a little awkward. “So… you and Louis?”

“No,” Liam shook his head immediately. “Definitely not.” He smiled. “Neither of us are interested.”

“Okay,” Zayn accepted. “Um. I’m sorry… for leaving the bar.”

“It’s fine,” Liam said reassuringly. “I get it.”

“Your friends are massively intimidating,” Zayn explained.

“They’re all dickheads,” Liam said dismissively. “I’d rather hang out with you, anyway.”

“I, um, I ran into Ben, while you were… yeah,” Zayn bit his lip, running an anxious hand through his hair.

“Fuck, are you okay?” Liam asked worriedly. “Do I need to kick his ass?”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Zayn said quickly. “I dealt with it. He wanted to apologise.”

“That utter dipshit,” Liam huffed.

“I told him to fuck off?” Zayn offered. “And like… shoved him against a wall?”

Liam stared at him for a moment, before he beamed proudly.

“That’s amazing!” he exclaimed. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah, well, then he just walked off, so…” Zayn shrugged dismissively, ducking his head as he smiled shyly.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Liam suggested. “Find somewhere quieter, so we can talk and actually hear each other?”

Zayn nodded gratefully.

“That sounds perfect,” he agreed. “Where can we go?”

Liam took his hand and led the way out of one of the large double doors, before they made their way up the grand staircase.

“Did James rent out the whole place or something?” Zayn asked in confusion. “I haven’t seen anyone who’s not our age… apart from the bouncer at the front door, I mean.”

“Oh yes,” Liam nodded. “Mummy and Daddy have an awful lot of money. James wanted a ridiculously large party. So, James got what James wanted.”

“Jeez,” Zayn shook his head and pushed open a door that led into another ballroom, this one empty but still boasting an extravagant chandelier in the centre of the ceiling. “I feel like he could’ve been on My Super Sweet Sixteen.”

“Complaining that they got him the wrong colour Lamborghini, yeah,” Liam snickered.

Zayn let out a loud cackle, before he dropped to sit on the floor next to one of the radiators, shivering a little and welcoming the warmth. Liam looked around the room, poking his nose behind the large curtains over the windows, before he sat down next to Zayn.

“So, like…” Zayn started.

“I was wondering…” Liam said at the same time.

They both laughed, shaking their heads.

“You go first,” Liam said, gesturing at him.

“I was just… checking,” Zayn said slowly. “You’re definitely not into that girl?”

“No, nope,” Liam shook his head quickly. “We are definitely not into each other. Louis’ cool, but. No.” He huffed softly. “We kissed at a party when we were like… thirteen? And I freaked out a bit and ran away.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t think I’ve even thought about her since then, in all honesty.”

“I feel like I know her from somewhere,” Zayn mused. “I’m just… not sure where.” He shrugged. “So… you don’t have a crush on anyone at the moment?”

“Well, I didn’t say that,” Liam said shyly.

“Hmm,” Zayn acknowledged, shifting a little. “What’s she like then?”

Liam cleared his throat quietly, looking around the room briefly as he dug deep for some courage, before focusing on Zayn.

“You’re just going to assume they’re a she?” he asked, his voice wavering slightly with nerves.

Zayn blinked at him slowly, his eyes widening slightly.

“Are… are they… not a girl?” his words came out hesitantly.

Liam took a deep breath, blushing a little as he drew his knees up to his chest and shrugged slightly.

“Would you…” Zayn started, his voice cracking and making him clear his throat before continuing. “Would you ever… go out with someone who, uh… who wasn’t a girl?”

Liam flushed deeply, running a hand through his hair.

“I-I don’t know,” he stammered. “M-Maybe?”

Zayn nodded slowly, shifting a little so he was facing Liam a little more.

“Okay,” he said carefully. “Would you… kiss someone? Who wasn’t a girl?”

Liam searched Zayn’s face, trying to rein his thoughts in as they raced and tumbled over each other, struggling to process what was happening in that ballroom.

“I don’t know,” he whispered.

Zayn glanced down at the floor, where their hands were millimetres apart, and shifted his closer. Liam swallowed a gasp as he felt the warmth of Zayn’s fingertips stroking over his knuckles.

“Would you kiss… me?” Zayn eventually asked, lifting his gaze to meet Liam’s nervously.

Liam stared at him for a few moments, searching his eyes, before slowly nodding once.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Yeah, I would.”

Zayn nodded as well, readjusting himself on the floor so he was a little closer. Liam let his feet slide down, letting his legs lay flat on the floor, and turned towards Zayn. He leaned in slowly, keeping his eyes focused on Zayn’s. The rest of the world seemed to fade away and narrow down to the two of them. The music, which had still been clearly heard, dropped out to a muffled bass. He could almost hear his own heart beating in his throat, feel the slight gasping of his breath, the twitch of his fingers as he turned his hand to grasp gently at Zayn’s fingers. The thumping of his heart seemed to grow louder as his face got ever closer to Zayn’s. He watched as Zayn’s eyes fell closed, and allowed his own to do the same. Their lips slowly brushed against each other, and Liam gasped slightly at the sensation. Pulling back a little, he quickly licked his lips, before leaning in again and pressing against Zayn’s lips more firmly. He felt rather than heard Zayn’s resulting moan, as he kept the kiss chaste and tender for a few beats, before he slowly pulled away.

They looked at each other for a moment, both blushing hard, before looking away in embarrassment. Liam inadvertently squeezed at Zayn’s fingers, making sure he would get Zayn’s attention. Zayn glanced down at their hands, and then back at Liam, smiling shyly, which Liam nervously returned. A moment later, Zayn reached up to gently cup Liam’s cheek, turning to face him fully as he pulled Liam closer, kissing him again more firmly. Liam let out a low groan in response, slipping his arms around Zayn quickly as he nearly fell into the smaller boy, kissing him back a little desperately.

After a few more moments, Zayn pulled back slowly, keeping his hand on Liam’s cheek.

“Are you okay?” he whispered.

“I…” Liam started.

“Liam?” a voice broke the spell of the room. “Are you up here?”

Liam dropped his head, cursing softly under his breath.

“Liam, I know you’re here somewhere, you dick,” James’ voice became more recognisable as it got closer. “I want to talk to you!”

Liam scrambled quickly to his feet, looking between Zayn and the door, and scratching at his arm anxiously.

“C’mon, you knob, I just want to have a chat, why are you hiding?” James continued, getting closer still.

“I… I’ve just got to…” Liam gestured weakly. “I… yeah.”

Not waiting for a reply from Zayn, Liam took a deep breath and rushed from the room, making sure to shut the door firmly behind him.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Zayn awoke slowly from a restless night with barely any sleep, the sound of loud rain slamming against his bedroom window, providing an explanation for the darkness within the room. He grunted softly, fumbling for his phone on the bedside table to peer at the time: 10:44am. Squinting at the brightness of the phone screen, he put it back down quickly, but not before noticing that there were no notifications from Liam. He choked softly, turning over and burying his face back in the pillow, hiding his tears.

Once Liam had gone after James the night before, and after he’d had a moment to gather himself from the sudden rejection, Zayn had called Yaser, asking to be picked up. Yaser had been there within five minutes – both the speed at his appearance and the KFC rubbish in the footwell of the car revealing that he’d been waiting a few roads away, rather than going home as he’d originally said – pulling up outside the hotel and looking at Zayn worriedly. He’d questioned Zayn gently about what had happened, but Zayn had fobbed him off, not wanting to admit to his weakness and misdirected actions.

In the harsh yet dim light of day, Zayn felt even more stupid. He’d pushed and needled at Liam to get what he wanted – which made him realise he was no better than Ben with his coercive and manipulative behaviour. Pulling the pillow over his head, Zayn let out a low sob; Liam was better off far, far away from him. He should ask Mr Murs on Monday about changing seats.

Reluctantly, Zayn dragged himself from his bed, knowing that his mum would have no patience with him staying in bed following a party. He wrapped himself up in a blanket and padded quietly downstairs to fetch a cup of tea, passing Doniya in the kitchen.

“Morning,” she greeted him quietly.

“Hey…”

Doniya frowned slightly.

“You okay?” she asked in concern.

“Yeah, m’fine,” Zayn mumbled. “Tired. Bad sleep.”

She rubbed a hand gently over the back of his head.

“I’ll see if I can get Mum to lay off you today,” she offered. “I think we’re going to see Teta, but I can see if I can get you out of it?”

Zayn flickered a weak but grateful smile, nodding once, before he took a sip of his tea and made his way back upstairs to the bathroom.

As he cleaned his teeth, sighing softly at the sight of his pale reflection in the mirror above the sink while his thoughts fell back onto the night before, remembering everything he shouldn’t have done, he jumped slightly when the doorbell rang loudly though the house. Zayn stuck his head out of the bathroom door, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, as he peered down at the front door.

“Who is visiting us on a Sunday?” Trisha demanded. “Why isn’t anyone getting the door?”

“I’ll get it, Mum,” he called out, before spitting quickly into the basin and wiping his mouth on a towel as he jogged down the stairs. “Probably a postman with a parcel for Baba anyway.”

Zayn sighed heavily as he tugged the door open, his jaw immediately dropping in shock as he took in the sight of Liam standing on the doorstep in the heavy rain, hair plastered to his head and clothes soaked right through.

“… h-hi,” he eventually stammered, his teeth chattering slightly with the cold.

“Uh… hi…” Zayn replied uncertainly. A moment later, he reached out to grab the front of Liam’s hoody. “Get inside. You’ll catch your death.”

“S-Sorry,” Liam immediately apologised. “I-I mean… I’m sorry for not texting. I just… I couldn’t think of the right words to say. So, I thought it’d be better saying it in person. And now I’m thinking I should’ve gone with the message, because boy, this is going on a bit. Wow. I should’ve brought a drink. I’m sorry.”

“O-okay,” Zayn murmured.

“Liam?” Trisha appeared in the doorway to the living room, a slight frown on her face. “I didn’t know you were coming around,” she commented, giving Zayn a pointed look.

“He’s just here to, uh, to pick up a hoody he left here last week,” Zayn said quickly.

“Well, you could’ve gotten out of your pyjamas, Beta,” Trisha chastised. She eyed the pair of them suspiciously. “Don’t be too long – we’re going to your Teta’s in a bit.”

“Yeah, I know, Doni said,” Zayn nodded. “We won’t be long.” He looked at Liam. “Let’s go upstairs.”

Liam nodded and followed Zayn up to his room. Zayn took a deep breath as he shut the door carefully, turning to look at Liam who was running a hand through his hair. Zayn leaned back against the door, watching him closely – in all honesty, he hadn’t anticipated seeing Liam again until form room the following day, so to have him in his bedroom, pacing to and fro alongside Zayn’s bed, exceeded any and all potential expectations he may have had.

“Did you not think to bring a coat?” Zayn asked after a few moments of slightly awkward silence.

“Huh?” Liam frowned, then glanced down at himself. “Oh. No. No point. Or, well. No. I didn’t actually realise it was raining until I was over halfway here. And I didn’t check the weather before I left.” He took a deep breath and pulled his hoody off over his head, Zayn’s gaze fixed firmly on the wide expanse of skin he’d inadvertently shown off. “So… uh…”

“Wait,” Zayn interjected almost immediately. “Can I speak first?”

“Of course you can,” Liam immediately agreed.

“I’m just, I’m so sorry,” Zayn continued on his downward spiral. “I was massively in the wrong; I didn’t think about what I was saying or doing. And I clearly just made you uncomfortable, so that you felt you had to follow along with what we… did. And I’m sure you didn’t want any part of it, not really, you just didn’t want to hurt my feelings, which I completely understand, but you absolutely could’ve stopped me, I would’ve been okay. And I don’t want you to feel awkward, because it was all my fault!”

“Zayn, hang on a sec,” Liam tried to interrupt.

“I’m just sorry, because I shouldn’t have kissed you!” Zayn eventually exclaimed.

“Wait. What?” Liam stared at him in disbelief.

“I know you won’t want to talk to me ever again, and I get it.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Liam said firmly. “That’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard, and trust me when I say that, I’ve been hanging around with James Corden for at least four years.”

“I just don’t want to ruin everything,” Zayn continued, his voice a little quieter. “I had to at least let you know how sorry I am about it all. And then, like… hopefully, we can still be friends.”

Liam gazed at him for a moment, then reached out and pulled Zayn into a tight hug, where he buried his face in Zayn’s neck, breathing in deeply. Zayn’s hands came up uncertainly, resting lightly on Liam’s hips. Liam squeezed again gently before he pulled back and slowly ran a hand up to rest lightly against the back of Zayn’s neck.

“It’s just… you’re probably the best friend I’ve ever had,” Zayn continued to mumble.

Before he could say anything further, Liam closed the gap between them and pressed his lips gently but firmly against Zayn’s. Zayn couldn't help but feel like the bottom of his stomach had fallen out, and he let out a low hum against Liam’s lips as he tightened his grip on Liam’s hips, slowly stretching up on his tiptoes so Liam didn’t have to lean down so much. Seconds passed as slow as an eternity, and faster than the speed of light all at the same time, until Liam carefully pulled away, panting softly against Zayn’s lips.

They stared at each other for a few beats, letting the moment breathe between them, before Liam raised his eyebrows a little sheepishly, and Zayn smiled softly.

“You’re giving me a lot of mixed signals,” Zayn murmured, resting his hands lightly on Liam’s chest, feeling the way Liam’s heart was pounding away.

Their eyes met again briefly as Liam let out a soft snort, both of them bursting into fits of giggles and leaning into each other.

“Fucking hell,” Liam chuckled after a few minutes, resting his forehead lightly against Zayn’s. “I’m so fucking sorry.” He let out a heavy sigh and moved his arms back around Zayn’s waist, holding on tightly as he buried his face into the side of Zayn’s neck.

Zayn slid his arms around Liam’s shoulders to hold onto him securely, frowning worriedly and reaching up to run his fingers through Liam’s hair.

“It’s okay…” he said uncertainly.

All of a sudden, Liam pulled away and stepped back, tugging sharply at his own hair and looking distressed.

“I’m just so fucking sorry I screwed everything up!” Liam exclaimed, beginning to pace to and fro in Zayn’s room. “Like, the way I ran away from you was just fucking awful, but I was just… freaking the fuck out?? I literally just bolted because my brain just could not handle the shit I was throwing at it, and I know I made it seem like it was all your fault, but I swear to you, it wasn't! I was just having this full-on gay crisis, and I did not know how to deal with it. And it’s so stupid! Because I should’ve just spoken to you!” He huffed loudly and dropped onto the bed. “It’s not like I didn’t want to kiss you…” he said quietly, wiping at his cheeks where frustrated and emotional tears had begun to fall. “I just… didn’t know how to cope with it. I was just so confused.” He swallowed hard, his throat clicking with emotion. “I’m so… so fucking confused,” he continued, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them, wrapping his arms around his head as he started to cry in earnest.

Zayn stared at him, blinking slowly as he quickly processed what had just happened. As soon as he did, he was on the bed beside Liam, wrapping his arms around the other boy and holding on tightly.

“It’s okay,” he whispered soothingly. “You’re safe. It’s okay. It’s absolutely fine to be confused. It’s okay to not know what’s going on, or how you feel, or how to cope with what you do feel. It’s all so okay, I promise.”

“I just… I hadn’t really psyched myself up for the possibility of that happening, y’know?” Liam continued, his voice wobbly with his tears. “Like, I wanted it? I’ve actually been thinking about it for a while… but I wasn’t really ready, y’know? So it was a bit of a shock… and then it happened… and it was so amazing, and so good, and I loved it, y’know? But then fucking James appeared, and he’d already been such a fucking knob, I just didn’t want him barging in and ruining it all.” He looked at Zayn, sniffling softly. “I didn’t want him seeing us like that. Not, not because I’m embarrassed of you, or because I’m ashamed. But he’d already been such a… twatbadger about you, and I just didn’t want you to get hurt again, because you don’t fucking deserve that!” Liam took a deep breath. “And because I needed time. Time to think. To work this out a bit more.” He gave Zayn a helpless look. “I just need a bit more time…”

With that, he choked hard and buried his face into Zayn’s shoulder, his whole body shaking with the force of his sobs. Zayn clung to him, feeling wretched and useless as the boy he was strongly developing feelings for broke apart in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Liam whimpered again.

“It’s okay,” Zayn whispered reassuringly. “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.” He rocked them to and fro slowly. “I promise. It’s gonna be fine.”

Zayn swallowed hard and blinked quickly as his own tears began to roll slowly down his cheeks, with one landing directly on Liam’s cheek, making him pause and pull back to peer at Zayn inquisitively.

“What are you crying for?” he mumbled in confusion, wiping the back of his hand over his cheeks.

“I dunno,” Zayn sniffled. “Guess… it’s just that seeing you so upset and sad is making me sad.” He rubbed at his face, then pushed gently at Liam. “I’m empathetic, gimme a break!”

The pair chuckled softly together, their arms instinctively going around each other again.

“Fuck sake,” Liam mumbled. “I’ve messed up both of our kisses. This sucks. I’m so fucking sorry. Why can’t we just kiss and be happy?”

“It’s okay, really, you haven’t messed anything up,” Zayn swore. He gave Liam a small but cheeky smile. “Besides, we can have lots of kisses yet… and you won’t mess all of them up.”

“Is that a challenge?” Liam raised an eyebrow.

Zayn snickered softly, resting a hand on Liam’s cheek as he nuzzled at his jaw.

“Do you want a cuppa?” he asked.

“That sounds perfect,” Liam smiled tiredly.

Downstairs, they nudged against each other as they worked together to make two large mugs of tea, taking them through to the conservatory to drink.

“Won’t your family wanna come out here?” Liam asked nervously.

“Nah,” Zayn shook his head. “It’s Mum’s pride and joy, the conservatory. So the younger girls aren’t allowed out here unattended, and Mum and Baba are getting ready to go see my Teta – my Nan,” he clarified quickly, seeing Liam’s confusion. “We’re on our own.”

Liam flickered a smile and sat carefully on the sofa, resting back a little and taking a slow sip of his tea.

“I did want to ask you something, actually,” he said, after swallowing his tea. “I mean, if it’s not too nosy.”

“Ask,” Zayn shrugged. “If I don’t want to answer it, I’ll tell you that.”

“How did you know?” Liam asked hesitantly. At Zayn’s confused look, he elaborated; “That you were gay, I mean. Like… was it a sudden thing?”

“Oh…” Zayn shuffled back on the sofa, making himself more comfortable as he thought about the question and how to answer it honestly and coherently. “Well… I think I’ve always known, to be honest.” He pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his mug on one as he leaned his head against the back of the sofa. “Like, it’s always been boys. I’ve never had anything remotely resembling any kind of interest in girls at all. But I mean, it’s not like I never grew out of the ‘girls smell’ thing that we all go through as kids, more that I just… don’t really care about them? Not beyond friendship or sister level, anyway.”

Liam nodded slowly, processing everything that Zayn had said.

“So, you never fancied a girl?” he checked.

“No,” Zayn said simply, shaking his head. “Even my fictional crushes, or when I’d play house… I’d always have a boyfriend or a husband… it would always be me and a boy. Girls were cool for friends and playing, but don’t ask me to get too close to them.” He eyed Liam speculatively. “I’m guessing it wasn’t the same for you.”

“No,” Liam shook his head, chuckling softly. “Do your family know about you?”

“Yeah,” Zayn nodded. “Thankfully I had already told them before it all kicked off at school last year – that’s definitely not the ideal way of coming out to your parents, as a result of bullies.”

“Fuck, no,” Liam grumbled. “Wankers.”

“My sisters all know too,” Zayn continued. “They’re all really chill about it. Wali and Saf don’t really understand, but Doni has tried repeatedly to set me up with lads that she thinks ‘may’ be queer. And then it turns out that they just want to go out with her instead. So that’s always an awkward conversation.”

“Has that happened often?” Liam stared at him.

“Eh, once or twice,” Zayn shrugged. “It’s fine, really.”

Liam sighed heavily and leaned back against the sofa.

“I don’t know what I am,” he admitted softly. “I mean, I’ve liked girls in the past, y’know?” Zayn nodded in acknowledgement. “But… now I like you.” Liam reached out, gently tangling their fingers together on the sofa.

“You like me?” Zayn whispered in disbelief.

“Um, yes?” Liam raised his eyebrows. “Was it not obvious already?”

“Look, I may be good at maths, but I’m a bit of an idiot at times, okay?” Zayn grumbled softly.

Liam let out a happy laugh, squeezing Zayn’s fingers reassuringly.

“I thought, like, originally, I thought I just wanted to hang out with you all the time because I just thought of you as a proper best friend,” Liam continued. “But I kept wanting to do stuff that wasn’t exactly… friend-like. Like hug you, and hold your hand, and tidy your hair away from your face, and give you my coat when you’re cold…”

Zayn blushed hard, ducking his head into his arm.

“And then, yesterday, at the party…” Liam gently played with Zayn’s fingers. “When you asked if I would kiss you… I didn’t realise just how much I wanted to do that until you suggested it. And then it was like that was the only thing I could think about. I just wanted to kiss you and kiss you and never stop kissing you.”

“Not exactly helpful for being productive though,” Zayn tried to joke. “Would be difficult to write an essay or take our exams.”

“I’m trying to apologise,” Liam said with a soft chastising huff. “I shouldn’t have run away from you – I’m so sorry.”

“I should’ve just spoken to you,” Zayn dismissed. “Rather than trying to be clever and drop hints… and I certainly shouldn’t have just kissed you. That was so rude.”

“Wait, you like me too?” Liam looked at Zayn in amazement.

“Yes?” Zayn asked, looking a little confused. “Of course I like you. Wasn’t that obvious?”

The two stared at each other for a few moments, before Liam let out a soft snort and they both burst into fits of giggles, hiding their faces in each other’s shoulders.

Once they’d calmed down, they curled in closer together.

“I’d completely convinced myself that you were straight,” Zayn admitted softly.

“I don’t know what I am,” Liam admitted. “Definitely not straight, for sure. But not ready to push too deep, not today.”

“Absolutely no pressure for you to work that out right now,” Zayn swore. “But like… you could be… bisexual? Or one of the other more fluid identities?” He shrugged a little. “There’s a lot to consider, and there’s no desperate need for you to put yourself in any specific pigeonhole anytime soon. You can take all the time you need.”

“Bisexual,” Liam murmured, seeming to almost taste the word and continue with it.

“Or something else,” Zayn repeated. “It’s not like I just woke up one morning and went ‘oop, guess I’m gay now!’” He smiled as Liam burst into uncontrollable laughter.  “But in all seriousness, just chill about it. It’ll come to you when it feels right.”

“I’m just sorry for being so confused about it all.” Liam sighed softly.

“You don’t need to apologise for that,” Zayn insisted. “Just as long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters. And you know that if you need to, you can talk to me.”

“That means a lot,” Liam smiled softly. “I can confidently say that I know one thing though.”

“What’s that?” Zayn shuffled closer to him.

Liam moved himself around, making himself more comfortable as he leaned in slowly.

“I definitely like the kissing,” he grinned, pressing a gentle kiss to Zayn’s lips.

After a few minutes of shy, tender kisses, that were slowly growing in confidence, they were separated by the sound of a bellow from outside.

“That’s Waliyah,” Zayn sighed heavily, just as the door opened and said sister barrelled into the conservatory. “What do you want, Wali?”

“Mum says you’ve gotta get a move on – we’re leaving for Teta’s in like, five minutes, and if you’re not ready, we’re gonna go without you, and who the hell is this?” came the stream of words without a breath.

“Firstly, fine, I’ll be ready,” Zayn said patiently, before making his expression a little firmer. “Secondly, don’t be rude. This is Liam. He’s a friend.”

Waliyah tilted her head to one side, eyeing them both speculatively.

“A friend as in a friend, or a friend as in a boyfriend?” she asked bluntly.

“A friend as in, mind your own damn business, and keep your gob shut,” Zayn told her with a low growl, grabbing up a cushion and throwing it at her swiftly, rolling his eyes at her yelp. “I mean it, Wali. No gossiping with your little friends. Just keep your trap shut.”

“Like anyone gives a crap,” she sassed. “But Mum’s threatening groundings if we’re not ready.”

“Fine, bugger off, I’ll be there in a sec,” Zayn huffed.

With that, she turned and flounced off, carefully shutting the door behind her. Zayn turned back to Liam, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Sorry about her,” he muttered.

“It’s fine,” Liam smiled softly. “But, uh… that was something I wanted to talk about actually.” Zayn raised an eyebrow. “Keeping this a secret, I mean.”

“Well, I mean, I figured,” Zayn shrugged a little, hunching into himself slightly. “It’s fine.”

“Not for long,” Liam said firmly. “I just… I’m not ready to come out as anything yet – I don’t even know what I am.”

“You don’t need to rush to label yourself,” Zayn quickly reassured him. “Seriously – take your time. I’m here whenever.” He squeezed Liam’s hand gently. “I’m just glad that we’re okay now.” He paused and ran a hand through his hair, pulling a face. “Although I’m pretty sure I look an absolute mess…”

Liam chuckled softly and leaned in to press a kiss to Zayn’s forehead.

“You look adorable, as always,” he swore.

Zayn huffed softly in protest, but got up, leading the way to the front door and grimacing at the pouring rain outside. He grabbed an umbrella from inside the hallway cupboard and held it out to Liam.

“I think you’re gonna need this,” he sighed.

“Thanks,” Liam smiled.

“Zayn, move your backside, Beta!” Yaser’s voice drifted down the stairs.

“Shit,” Zayn muttered.

“I’ll text you later,” Liam promised. “Have a good time at your nan’s.”

“Get home safely,” Zayn replied, squeezing Liam’s elbow gently.

Liam nodded and poked the umbrella outside before putting it up, stepping out underneath it and making his way down the path. He paused at the end to wave shyly at Zayn, and then continued on.

Zayn watched him go with a faint smile on his face, before muttering a quick ‘fuck it’ under his breath. He shoved his feet into a pair of his Converse that had been left beside the front door and took a deep breath as he rushed out of the front door, following after Liam.

“Leeyum!” he yelled from the end of their front path.

Up ahead, Liam paused and looked over his shoulder, confusion evident on his face. Zayn ran down the pavement to meet up with him, ducking under the umbrella when he got there, panting a little.

“Did… did I forget something?” Liam asked bemusedly.

Zayn glanced up and down the road, making sure there was no one around, before he went up onto his tiptoes, his hands gently cupping Liam’s cheeks, and pressed their lips carefully together. Liam let out a soft squawk of surprise, but slipped his free arm around Zayn’s waist, supporting his balance as he returned the kiss carefully, until Zayn pulled back with a smile.

“Okay, bye!” Zayn grinned, flashing a wink and turning to run back home, leaving Liam looking after him, more than a little perplexed, but also amused.

✨✨✨✨✨

Liam: and you’re absolutely sure that you don’t mind us being on the ‘down low’ at school?? I’m not offending you or anything???

Zayn: you’re definitely not offending me, Liam. Like I said earlier, take your time.

Zayn: it’s up to you who you tell, what you tell them, when you tell them, and how you tell them.

Zayn: I’m not gonna be the one to push you into anything. Promise.

Zayn: besides, I know what it’s like to have personal shit being used as gossip fodder at school.

Zayn: I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Liam: shit yeah

Liam: I forgot

Liam: sorry

Zayn: stop apologising – you haven’t done anything wrong.

Zayn: I promise, I don’t mind.

Liam: why are you so lovely???

Zayn: eh, well… the nicer I am to you, the more chance I have of spending time with Nellie…

Liam: [sends selfie of himself with Nellie, curled up together on the bed]

Zayn: YOU CANNOT DO THAT TO ME WITHOUT WARNING!!!!

Zayn: OMG SHE IS SO ADORABLE I CANNOT!!!

Zayn: asgdjgsgkdsl

Zayn: you know I’m only with you for your dog, right??

Liam: I KNEW IT!!!

Chapter Text

The next few days at school were stilted – Zayn felt that maybe Liam didn’t want to talk much at all, so he kept conversation to a minimum. When Liam didn’t make any steps to change that, Zayn presumed that he’d made the correct decision, so leaned into it.

But by Wednesday, Zayn was going a little stir crazy and he felt himself getting all caught up in his head. He’d only spoken to Liam in person for about ten minutes before registration on each day, and they’d stuck firmly to benign topics like homework and rugby. Zayn sighed as he made his way to rugby practice after school, trying to psych himself up for another ninety minutes of surface-level chat with his (maybe) boyfriend.

“Y’alright, Zayn?” Declan called out, slinging an arm over his shoulders.

“Um… yes?” Zayn offered uncertainly.

“Good,” Declan nodded. “Let’s get you playing proper rugger then!”

As he watched Declan scamper off with Ed and Tom, the two catching up to Liam as they all entered the changing rooms, Zayn swallowed hard and muttered under his breath;

“I’m going to die…”

Less than ten minutes later, that prediction looked to be coming true, as Zayn unexpectedly caught a long pass. He stared at the ball in his hands for a few beats, before he looked up and widened his eyes at the sight of around six boys rushing towards him, all with the intent of procuring the ball from his hands.

“Shit,” he whispered weakly, barely having the forethought to brace himself as he was suddenly tackled to the ground, hitting it hard with a low ‘oomph’, and grimacing as he felt his knee twist in an unnatural way.

“Oh fuck, sorry Zayn!” Ed immediately apologised, the first to realise just how hard they’d all collided with him. “Are you okay?”

“We completely forgot how light you are,” Tom added, getting to his feet and pulling the other boys up with him. “Really sorry.”

Declan reached out a hand and helped Zayn up.

“It’s the game though, innit lads?” James huffed, folding his arms over his chest with a raised eyebrow.

Liam pushed his way through his teammates and stared at Zayn for a moment, his eyes racing all over Zayn’s figure, trying to spot any injuries.

“Are you okay?” he demanded. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” Zayn sighed. “Just a bit shaky. I should’ve run.”

“But are you hurt?” Liam asked again.

Zayn took a step and let out a hiss as his knee pulled sharply.

“You are hurt!” Liam immediately exclaimed.

He crossed to Zayn, slipping his arm around Zayn’s waist.

“I’m fine, Liam,” Zayn insisted weakly.

“I’m gonna take him to get an ice pack, Coach,” Liam said firmly, his tone brooking no argument.

Before anyone else could argue, he’d started guiding Zayn across the field towards the changing rooms, but could clearly hear what was still going on behind him.

“That’s a bit –” Declan started.

“Back to your drills!” Coach Pugh cut him off, blowing her whistle loudly. “Anyone not doing high knees in the next thirty seconds is on clean-up for the next three weeks!”

The boys all scrambled to obey – none of them liking how meticulous and precise Coach Pugh demanded the clean-up be.

Liam eased Zayn into the changing rooms, settling him down on one of the benches.

“I’ll just grab an ice pack from the medic kit,” he said softly. “Wait here.”

“Not going anywhere,” Zayn flickered a slightly pained smile – his knee was starting to throb a little, and in all honesty, he was looking forward to the soothing sensation of a cold press.

He watched as Liam slipped into the office and grabbed the large first aid kit off of the wall, bringing it back and kneeling down next to Zayn before he flicked the locks off and swung the lid open. Zayn peered into the box curiously.

“Are there often major burns that require wraps at school sport practises?” he asked, holding up one of the packets.

“Hey, you never know,” Liam grinned. “Speedster like you?”

Zayn rolled his eyes a little as Liam pulled one of the cool packets out, cracking the seals to activate the cold, before kneeling down in front of Zayn and placing it carefully over the top of his knee, causing him to hiss and flinch.

“Sorry, sorry,” Liam murmured. “Just need to rest this here for a bit. It’s a bit cold.”

“Yeah, I kinda noticed,” Zayn chuckled softly. He watched Liam for a moment. “Y’know, you didn’t have to do this.” Liam looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Like… I don’t mind? If you want things to be a bit more… distant, or whatever. At school, I mean.”

Liam frowned.

“Zayn… no?” he started. “I don’t – I mean, I didn’t mean that I wanted us to be distant, or not talk. That’s just weird. You’re still my friend – and everyone knows that already – so I want to talk and hang out.” He huffed softly at Zayn. “Besides, I didn’t really think we were doing much different? Y’know… apart from like… kissing.”

“Kissing?” Zayn asked, his eyebrows raised, before shrugging a little. “I don’t remember anything about any kissing at all. Not sure what you’re on about… mate.”

“Oh, do not call me ‘mate’,” Liam immediately retorted. “There’s definitely no need for that.”

Zayn grinned brightly, snickering a little into his hand.

“So, kissing?” he offered, amusement still evident in his tone.

“Mmhmm,” Liam agreed, shifting his weight onto both knees as he stretched up a little, still holding the ice pack in place. “Kissing.” He leaned in closer, his gaze locked on Zayn’s as he moved one hand to rest gently on Zayn’s hip. “Just say if you want me to stop,” he whispered softly.

“Mm, not likely,” Zayn murmured, lifting his hands up to cup Liam’s face, guiding him the rest of the way until their lips met.

They kissed slowly and tenderly, both of them learning how each other moved and noting what caused a reaction and what didn’t.

“Hmm, hang on,” Zayn mumbled after a few minutes. “Didn’t you… hang on… didn’t you say that you thought it’d be a good idea to not kiss at school?”

Liam pulled back a little, raising an eyebrow.

“I have never said that before in my life,” he lied, before he snickered quietly. “Okay, okay.” He brushed his lips lightly over Zayn’s again. “One last kiss. I swear.”

“Mm, which one’s the last?” Zayn asked, meeting each consecutive caress willingly.

Liam pressed a final kiss to Zayn’s bottom lip and forcibly sat back on his heels, huffing softly.

“That’ll be the last,” he said firmly.

“Ever?” Zayn looked slightly concerned.

“No, silly,” Liam squeezed his fingers. “Just for now.”

“You gonna help me home tonight?” Zayn asked.

“Well… I’m gonna ask my mum to give you a lift,” Liam suggested. “Does that count?”

“I suppose,” Zayn shrugged a shoulder, before he groaned quietly. “My dad’s gonna be so pissed off that I got injured at a practice. He’s been grumbling about me playing rugby as it is.”

“Does he think you should play something else?” Liam asked curiously.

“Nope,” Zayn shook his head. “He’s not a sports fan.” He paused, considering. “Well, I say that. He likes cricket…” Zayn let out an exaggerated yawn. “But he knows there’s not a chance in hell of me going anywhere near that.”

“Cricket is… not the most exciting,” Liam said carefully, trying to be diplomatic.

“Liam, it’s the most boring sport on earth, I’d rather watch paint dry,” Zayn replied flatly. “I have no idea why Baba loves it so much; the only thing I can think is that it’s cos Dada loved it as well.” He caught sight of the slightly confused look on Liam’s face. “My grandfather,” he explained with a smile, then gently nudged at Liam’s side. “Gonna have to teach you some Urdu so you know what I’m talking about.”

Liam widened his eyes briefly, then practically lit up as he beamed at Zayn.

“You’d do that?” he asked quickly. “Because, I mean, that would be so amazing. I would love to learn!”

Zayn grinned and leaned in to press a quick kiss to Liam’s forehead.

“Wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it,” he replied. “Mum’s still not fluent – she started learning back when she and Baba got engaged, but it’s pretty confusing, and I think she struggles with her confidence.”

Liam shifted around so that he was sat on the floor and leaned back against the bench opposite Zayn.

“Doesn’t that mean she’s been learning for over 17 years?” he asked in amazement.

“Best part of twenty, yeah,” Zayn agreed, then wrinkled his nose a little. “It was tough for her, back then. She was a white Brit getting involved with a first-generation British Pakistani man. It was massively against societal norms, for both families, and everyone kinda… struggled. Everything’s fine now, or well, better at least, especially because of us kids, but I think those first years have left their mark.” He sighed softly. “And then of course, I made things harder again last year by coming out. Or rather, by getting all that shit from the older lads for coming out.”

“Hey,” Liam immediately protested. “I’m sure your mum would be the first to say that you didn’t make anything harder at all. She’s your mum; I’m sure that all she wants is for you to be happy.”

Zayn smiled softly.

“Yeah, that sounds like Mum,” he agreed. “Just… wish I could’ve made things a bit easier, y’know?”

“Still not your fault,” Liam pointed out.

Zayn rolled his eyes lightheartedly, before glancing at his watch and pulling a face.

“We should probably get back out there,” he sighed. “Coach Pugh’s gonna have us running drills all afternoon.”

“You’re injured,” Liam said, a slight stubborn tone to his voice. “I’m sure she’s gonna understand if you can’t do the running lines drills.”

Chapter Text

“So…”

Zayn looked over at Liam at the sound of his voice breaking through the otherwise peaceful sounds of the park. They’d decided that Zayn kicking Liam’s ass in Mario Kart again was completely unnecessary, and that getting out into the fresh air for a walk with Nellie was the best idea of the alternatives. Which led to them sprawling out on the grass behind a large fallen tree, hiding them away from most of the casual walkers, but making them still able to feel the gentle breeze that swept lightly around the park.

“So?” Zayn prompted after Liam failed to continue his train of thought.

“I looked up what bisexual means,” Liam said slowly, keeping his face directed towards the sky, his voice quavering a little with obvious nerves.

Zayn reached over, slipping his fingers through Liam’s and squeezing gently.

“Okay?” he said softly.

“Yeah,” Liam agreed. “And, uh… I think that’s me.”

Zayn smiled softly.

“I’m so proud of you,” he said quietly. “Thank you for trusting me with that.”

“Who else am I gonna talk to this about?” Liam asked, shrugging one shoulder.

“I’m sure your mum would be understanding,” Zayn shrugged. “Or one of the nice rugby lads.”

“Oh yeah, I can see that going down so well,” Liam huffed. “I already know that a couple of them are gonna be absolute dickheads when I come out. They’re gonna think it’s all about them, and it’s really not.”

“I know,” Zayn murmured reassuringly.

“But, like… I think that’s the right label for me,” Liam sighed. “It feels the most right. But I’m still not sure.” He turned his head to look at Zayn. “Is that okay? To not know?”

“Of course it is,” Zayn replied quickly. “You don’t need to have everything all tied up in a little parcel with ribbons as soon as you’ve realised. We don’t take back your membership if you need time to think.”

“Yeah, yeah, I definitely need to think,” Liam mumbled, resting his forehead against Zayn’s shoulder.

“I’m always available for distraction tactics,” Zayn teased softly.

Liam looked up with a slightly confused expression. Zayn shifted his weight onto his side and reached up a hand to gently hold the side of Liam’s face, beginning to lean in. Before their lips could touch, another dog barked from across the park, causing Nellie to reply and Liam to pull away and sit up quickly, his cheeks flushed a deep red as he ran an anxious hand through his hair.

“Sorry,” he immediately mumbled. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I…”

“It’s okay,” Zayn quickly reassured. “I mean it, it’s absolutely fine. Your pace.”

“I feel bad.”

“There’s no need to.” Zayn hopped up to his feet, reaching a hand out to help Liam to stand with him. “C’mon. Let’s get back to yours. Maybe you can make it up to me by giving me an extra kiss or two there.”

“I-I think we can do that,” Liam agreed, flushing a little as he gently squeezed Zayn’s fingers.

✨✨✨✨✨

“I feel like I probably should have said this before,” Zayn started the next morning in form room, just as Liam took his seat beside Zayn.

“Uh oh, I feel like I’ve either done something wrong, or I’ve offended you majorly,” Liam said warily.

“No, no, nothing like that,” Zayn gently nudged their shoulders together. “No, uh… it’s kinda my birthday next week? And I – for some bizarre reason known only to Harry, I reckon – I somehow agreed to go ten pin bowling tomorrow evening with my friends.” He paused for a moment, visibly psyching himself up for the next question.  “I was just… wondering if you would like to join us?” He caught sight of Liam’s slightly stunned expression. “I mean, there’s absolutely no pressure at all,” he added quickly. “I know you don’t know my friends very well, or at all, right now. But I want to change that.”

“Zayn, shut up,” Liam talked over him, never having done that before. “Yes, yes I will go to your birthday party tomorrow.”

“There’s no theme, as far as I’m aware, so it was just the invitation,” Zayn said quickly. “I mean, you know Harry a little, right?” Liam nodded once. “Well, she’s still the same – everyone falls in love with her as soon as they see her, Niall’s ridiculously overprotective, and Lewis just makes everyone laugh.”

Liam chuckled softly, aware that Mr Murs’ attention would be on the pair of them if they didn’t stay quieter, which would leave both of them in detention.

“Thanks for giving me so little time to find a present, anyway,” Liam glared a little.

“You don’t need to buy me anything,” Zayn huffed. “I just want you to come spend some time with us.”

✨✨✨✨✨

When Liam walked through the doors of the ten-pin bowling alley the next day, he was definitely not expecting to see Zayn surrounded by his absolute, one hundred percent ride-or-die best friends, all of whom were happily giving him all the joy and love they could manage. Lewis picked Zayn up and spun him around, while Harry was chattering incessantly about the new school, the way she’s settled in, and how she couldn’t wait for all of her new friends to meet her old friends properly. Liam took a single step forward, getting Zayn’s attention with a shy wave.

“You made it!” Zayn exclaimed as he bounded over with a bright grin.

“Hi, yeah, sorry, am I late?” Liam asked uncertainly.

“No, no, this lot just love bowling,” Zayn immediately reassured him. “They were here before me.”

“Okay,” Liam relaxed a little, smiling softly. “Happy Birthday.”

“Well, it’s not my birthday until Tuesday, but thank you,” Zayn nudged him gently. “C’mon. I’ll introduce you to everyone.” He paused for a moment, resting one hand on Liam’s arm and pulling a bit of a face. “I’m going to pre-apologise though.”

“Pre-apologise?” Liam raised an eyebrow.

“For anything that Niall might say,” Zayn said bluntly. “He’s very protective of me, especially after last year. And he’s got some opinions about me having joined the rugby team.” Zayn sighed heavily. “He means well, but it can come across as overbearing and a bit dickish if you don’t know him, and even more so because of the thick Irish accent. The rest of us will try and keep him in check though.”

“… okay,” Liam said faintly, swallowing hard around the knot of anxiety that had suddenly formed in his throat.

“I promise, Harry and Lewis are adorable,” Zayn squeezed Liam’s arm gently. “Harry’s been telling us about her new school - she transferred over to the girls’ school at the beginning of the year, so she’s been settling in and everything.”

“God, I barely recognised her,” Liam marvelled. “I didn’t realise her name was still Harry though.”

“She’s Harriet officially, but she doesn’t mind Harry,” Zayn explained, starting to lead the way over to the lane they were using. “And Lewis is from Scotland, with a thick accent as well – sometimes it can be a bit difficult to follow a conversation when Lew and Ni are on one,” he snickered.

“Zayn, I think I am actually more scared of meeting your friends than I was your family,” Liam admitted under his breath. “You’ve not been very reassuring at all…”

“Liam!” Harry called out as soon as they were close enough to hear her. “Hi!”

“Uh, h-hi,” Liam stammered.

Harry bounced over, pulling Liam into a tight hug.

“It’s lovely to see you,” she said enthusiastically. “How have you been? Apart from taking our Zaynie under your wing on the rugby team, I mean.”

“Um, I’ve been good, thanks,” Liam replied, sounding and looking completely bewildered. “How are you? I mean, I hope you’re better now that you’re not at our school anymore,” he pulled a face.

“Oh, definitely,” Harry nodded quickly. “It’s been lush at the girls’. I don’t think I’ve seen a sandwich thrown at lunchtime at all.”

“Wait, that can actually happen?” Liam pretended to be shocked. “I thought it was a prerequisite of lunch; the throwing of sandwiches.”

“Nope,” Harry shook her head. “I think that was the biggest culture shock.”

“I’m not surprised,” Liam grinned. “But I’m glad you’re happier.”

“Happier than ever,” Harry beamed.

“And she’s got a crush,” Niall told Zayn loudly.

“Will you shut up, you little leprechaun?” Harry immediately demanded, stomping her foot a little.

“A crush?” Zayn looked delighted. “On who?”

“She’s not saying,” Lewis huffed, looking up from his book. “Which I think is a bit unfair, considering we’re her bestest bosom buddies. Friends of her bosom.”

Harry shot him a flat look, before folding her arms over her chest.

“Nothing’s happened yet, and I don’t know if anything ever will,” she said stubbornly. “I don’t even know if she likes me.”

“Can we at least get a name?” Zayn asked, gently touching Harry’s arm reassuringly. “You know we won’t say anything to anyone.”

Harry gazed at Zayn for a moment, before letting out a heavy sigh and rubbing a hand over her face.

“Fine, but if I hear anything about this through the grapevine, you can guarantee that all of your deepest darkest secrets will be out in the open, Zayn Malik, and don’t forget that I’ve known you since nursery – I have lots of those secrets,” she huffed. Harry rolled her eyes as she realised that the four boys were hanging onto her every word. “Oh, for god’s sake, it’s Louis Tomlinson, okay? She’s just… lovely. But I have no idea if she’s into girls or anything, so there’s literally no point even discussing it.”

“Erm, well,” Liam started uncertainly. “I think… uh, without saying too much… I think you could like… ask? I mean, I don’t think she’d be offended or anything. And I don’t think she’d be horrible to you either.”

“Well, no,” Harry agreed. “I never thought she’d be horrible. I just don’t really want to put myself out there this quickly after transferring to a new school, y’know?”

“You’ve been there for a couple months,” Zayn pointed out. “I think you’re settled, Haz.” He pulled his friend into a tight hug. “Time to put your big girl panties on.”

“I hate my big girl panties,” Harry grumbled.

“Are we bowling or what?” Niall interrupted. “Only I daren’t offend anyone with names for them – I remember what happened last time.”

“You shouldn’t have called Lewis a ‘poor excuse’,” Zayn immediately said.

“I meant for a leprechaun, cos he’s Scottish, it was funny!” Niall said defensively.

“That’s not what it said on the board,” Lewis retorted, his eyes focused on the text in his hand.

“Yeah, it was a bit offensive, Nialler,” Harry said carefully.

Niall huffed softly.

“What do you want to be called then?” he demanded. “And hurry up, before we run out of time.”

“So impatient,” Zayn rolled his eyes.

As the game proceeded, Liam watched Zayn closely, feeling the tension he’d been experiencing in his own body begin to ebb away slowly as the group of friends made him feel more and more comfortable. After the first game had finished, Liam winning easily with Harry a surprisingly close second, Zayn excused himself to the bathroom, leaving Liam alone with the other three. Liam watched curiously as Niall tracked Zayn’s movement across the room and waited for the door to close behind him before he turned to Liam.

“So, Liam Payne,” he said slowly, folding his arms over his chest and trying to look intimidating.

“That wouldn’t scare a three-year-old,” Lewis said flatly, barely glancing at him.

“Can you let me do this?” Niall grumbled.

“Uh, do what?” Liam looked between the three of them uncertainly.

“Nothing bad,” Harry was quick to reassure. “We just… we’re incredibly protective of our Zaynie. We just don’t want anything bad to happen to him.”

“Nor do I,” Liam agreed emphatically. “I… I feel protective too.”

Harry smiled softly, tucking a loose curl behind her ear.

“That’s good to hear,” she said carefully. “But we also know how Zayn feels about you, and we know about some of the people who are on your team,” she drifted off slowly, clearly trying to let Liam infer the rest.

“I promise you, I am nothing like those shitheads who bullied him last year,” Liam swore. “I wish I’d had more of a role in the team back then – I swear I would’ve beaten the shit out of them.”

Harry gave him an appreciative look.

“It’s a nice thing to say,” she commented, choosing her words delicately. “But at the moment, we’ve not seen anything to suggest that he’s safe with you.” She paused for a moment. “Not that we’ve seen anything to suggest the opposite either, but… we know our boy’s history, and we know he’s not the best at looking out for himself.”

Liam looked at her for a moment, then looked quickly at Lewis and Niall, before returning his gaze to Harry, setting his jaw in determination, and straightening his spine a little.

“Well, I promise that you have nothing to worry about,” he said firmly. “I would never let anyone hurt my boyfriend.”

Harry widened her eyes in surprise, while Niall’s jaw dropped and Lewis actually put his book down.

“Boyfriend?” Lewis was the first to find his words.

“Yes,” Liam nodded decisively.

“Boyfriend?” Zayn murmured, having returned in time to hear Liam’s declaration.

“I-I mean, yes?” Liam stammered, quickly crossing over to him and slipping a slightly shaky and sweaty hand into Zayn’s, as he gazed at him hopefully. “I mean, if that’s what you want, yes. I-I just… I didn’t want you to think that I’m… like… not serious.”

Zayn stared at him in disbelief.

“But… you wanted to keep it quiet…” he said softly.

“At school, yes,” Liam nodded quickly. “But your friends… they’re so protective of you. And I completely get that. But I just… I wanted to reassure them. That I’m not messing around. I just don’t want anyone to think that you’re not worth it.” He took a deep breath. “And I’m going to tell my Mum about you. About us.”

“Leeyum,” Zayn mumbled.

Liam rested his forehead gently against Zayn’s.

“I mean it,” he said quietly. “You’re worth it.”

“You have to stop being so sweet,” Zayn chastised lightly.

“No, he doesn’t,” Harry interjected. “This is adorable. I’m a little jealous.”

Zayn immediately wrapped Liam up in his arms and glared playfully at his friends.

“Mine,” he stated firmly.

“Oh gosh, I don’t want him,” Harry immediately denied. “God no.” She shuddered a little. “Just a bit jealous of the whole relationship thing.”

“I’m not jealous,” Lewis said airily. “Couldn’t give a single flying shit about it, in all honesty. But I am glad you’re happy, darling,” he added in a soft coo to Zayn. “That’s literally all I ever want for you.”

“Thanks, Lew,” Zayn smiled, then took a deep breath before he looked at Niall nervously.

“Can I give him the shovel talk?” Niall asked Zayn, an eyebrow raised.

“Do you have to?” Zayn asked, a little exasperated.

“Best friend duties,” Niall shrugged. “You can do the same when I meet someone.”

“Oh, for fuck’s… fine,” Zayn sighed. “Go ahead. But be quick, and don’t get graphic.”

Niall turned his attention to Liam.

“If you ever hurt him, even a little bit,” he began.

“I know, I know,” Liam sighed softly. “You’ll have to kill me.”

“Well, I was going to say I’d send you a strongly worded DM, but yes,” Niall nodded firmly. “Killing works just as well.”

Zayn shook his head in disbelief, squeezing Liam’s hand.

“Okay, are you done?” he asked. “Excellent. Can we play another game of bowling please? Because I want to get to the arcades afterwards – there’s a game of Mario Kart calling my name, and I want to beat the top score on there.”

“Didn’t you set that top score?” Harry tilted her head.

“Yeah, your point?” Zayn grinned.

“You set the top scores on Mario Kart here?” Liam stared at him in awe.

Zayn shrugged a shoulder.

“Not that hard,” he said dismissively. “Could be better.”

“You’re amazing,” Liam stated firmly.

Glancing around the room, seeing only their friends paying them any attention - and even they had already started squabbling over the bowling balls - Liam caught Zayn’s chin with his finger and guided him into a short but tender kiss, pulling back quickly and blushing hard as it dawned on him just how public that had been.

“Getting daring,” Zayn said, a little challengingly.

“Yeah, well,” Liam shrugged a shoulder. “You make me want to be better for you.”

Zayn beamed at him, squeezed his hand and then tugged him back to the game.

✨✨✨✨✨

“So I got you a present,” Liam said a while later, after Harry had won the second game and the five of them had all darted into the arcades to kill some more time before their curfews came into force.

“I already told you at least twice that you didn’t have to,” Zayn huffed softly.

“Well, I got it anyway,” Liam shrugged, holding up the small gift bag. “It’s not much – you didn’t exactly give me very much warning – but I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I’m gonna love it,” Zayn grinned, before making grabby hands at him.

“Oh, now you’re impatient, I see,” Liam joked, sliding the gift bag over.

“Well, you’ve got it, and you’ve brought it here, so really it would be rude to keep saying I don’t want it,” Zayn reasoned.

He reached into the bag and pulled out a roughly wrapped present.

“I’m not good with presents,” Liam admitted, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“It’s adorable,” Zayn reassured him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

He returned his attention to the present, opening it up quickly and immediately letting out a happy gasp of surprise.

“Oh my gosh,” he exclaimed. “This is amazing!”

“I just loved that day,” Liam admitted, watching as Zayn examined every inch of the photo frame that contained a picture of the two of them with Nellie in the snow. “And thought it should be, I dunno, printed for posterity or whatever.”

“I absolutely love it,” Zayn promised. “Thank you so, so much.” He shot a teasing look at Liam. “I’m just glad I’ve finally got a decent photograph of Nellie.”

“That’s exactly what I thought,” Liam agreed. “You definitely needed one.”

“I’m glad I’ve managed to get you to see things my way,” Zayn snickered.

Liam rolled his eyes playfully and leaned over, pressing a gentle but firm kiss to Zayn’s cheek.

“Happy Birthday, boyfriend,” he murmured.

“Thank you, boyfriend,” Zayn replied, feeling like there were actual stars twinkling brightly in his eyes.

✨✨✨✨✨

Liam: thanks for tonight – it was nice to meet your friends

Zayn: thank you for coming :) it meant a lot to me

Zayn: and I love my present.

Zayn: it’s on my bedside table <3

Liam: that’s so cute

Liam: are you busy tomorrow?

Zayn: yeah – seeing my Teta

Zayn: did you want to meet up? :(

Liam: only if you were free

Liam: but you’re not

Liam: so it’s okay :)

Liam: I’ll see you at school on Monday though?

Zayn: definitely <3

Zayn: boyfriend <3

Liam: boyfriend <3

Chapter Text

~ the girls’ school, the following week ~

Harry took a deep breath as she walked into her form room, her gaze immediately catching on Louis, who was sat on the edge of one of the tables near the back, her feet on a chair as she laughed at one of the other girls’ tales.

“ Fuck ,” Harry whispered under her breath.

“Everything okay, Harry?” Sarah asked, resting a hand on her shoulder as she and Elin came into the room.

“I, uh, yes…?” Harry stammered uncertainly.

Sarah glanced around the room, immediately zoning in on what had distracted Harry, before nodding once and leading her over to their seats.

“Okay, so how long have you been interested in Tommo, and how come you never told us?” she demanded in a whisper.

“Um, no, I, uh,” Harry shook her head quickly. “It, I, it’s not, I mean…”

“We’re totally not judging,” Elin was quick to reassure. “If I didn’t have Sarah, then I’d definitely make a play for Lou – she’s gorgeous, and she’s fucking lovely.”

“If a loose cannon?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. “Who’s got off with everyone?”

“Well, when I said that, I didn’t exactly mean it in the way it came out,” Elin said, slightly defensive.

“But either way,” Sarah interrupted, before Elin could get carried away on a tangent. “She’s lovely, loose cannon aside, and you’re obviously interested. So what do we need to do to help you with that?”

“Are you sure you even want to?” Harry asked uncertainly. “It seemed before like you thought she was a bit… easy.”

“Oh, god, no!” Sarah shook her head quickly. “She’s just a thousand times more confident than I will ever be. I’m a little jealous in all honesty. Tommo knows what she wants, and she goes for it, everyone else be damned.” She glanced over her shoulder at the girl in question. “Would love to have that take-no-prisoners attitude and more importantly, be able to follow it through.”

“So, you don’t think I’m being stupid for liking her?” Harry checked, biting her lip gently. “Only, I heard something on Saturday night, that made me think that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to… ask.”

Sarah and Elin exchanged knowing glances, before both turning their focus back to Harry.

“So… someone told you she’s queer?” Elin asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Not in so many words,” Harry conceded. “But it was definitely implied.” She took a shaky breath. “So, I thought I’d throw my hat in. See if she picked it up.” Harry shrugged a little. “If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t want to. But I’m not going to push it.”

“I think it’s safe to say she wants to,” Elin grinned.

Harry huffed softly, tucking a stray curl back behind her ear.

“Cos she’s not that fussy?” Harry asked a little sharply. “Therefore, she must be desperate for it?”

“No!” Sarah and Elin both said firmly, their voices slightly sharp in the relative quiet, garnering interest from the other tables.

Sarah rolled her eyes and waved a middle finger over her shoulder.

“They’re all fucking children,” she muttered. “But to go back to our discussion: no. We don’t think she’s easy, nor do we believe that anyone less than what she deserves will come into her life at the right time.”

Harry ran a hand through her hair.

“Okay, so… what?” she asked uncertainly. “Are you gonna try and force us together instead?”

“God, no,” Sarah shook her head. “We’re just going to… facilitate some meetings. That’s all.”

Harry eyed her suspiciously.

“That doesn’t sound any better,” she huffed.

“Look, leave it with us, I promise it’ll be fine,” Sarah insisted.

Harry sighed heavily and sat back in her chair, wanting nothing more than to pull her phone from her pocket to seek support from her friends, but she knew she was on thin ice with Miss Lipa with her phone, no matter how good she’d been for the past few weeks.

~ the boys’ school ~

“So, you’re not going to be all over each other then?” Niall asked Zayn, raising an eyebrow.

“We already said that,” Zayn replied patiently.

“Leave the lad alone,” Lewis chastised, barely glancing up from his book. “Besides, I’d’ve thought you had other stuff to worry about.”

Zayn looked between Lewis and Niall curiously.

“Oh?” he asked.

“What are you on about now?” Niall asked suspiciously.

“The new lad,” Lewis continued, turning a page. “I saw you… react … to him the other day.”

Niall spluttered out a protest.

“I, I did, I did not!”

“Ooh, tell me what happened,” Zayn grinned, leaning closer to Lewis. “I’m guessing this happened when I was at training?”

“Yep,” Lewis nodded, looking up with a grin. “Shawn, the new dude, he came out of school while we were waiting for the bus, shrugged out of his jacket and slung it over his shoulder, and this one,” he gestured at Niall with a thumb, “nearly passed out in the swooniest swoon since the Victorian era.”

“I did not swoon!” Niall practically stomped. “I was just… taken aback.”

“You may as well have drooled,” Lewis said flatly.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I missed this!” Zayn crowed gleefully. “After all the shit you put me through with Liam, I missed the best way of getting back at you!”

“That’s enough, I refuse to put up with this,” Niall stood up and grabbed his bag, before pausing for a moment. “I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know who I am, anyway.”

“Hey Niall, how’s it going?” a soft accented voice interrupted them, causing all three boys to turn their heads to look as Shawn walked past, his jacket open, tie and shirt loosened.

“Uh, um, h-hi, Sh-Shawn…” Niall stammered out, watching him and promptly flushing hard as soon as Shawn had turned the corner, before dropping back down onto his chair and burying his face in his hands. “Fuck.”

Zayn and Lewis exchanged amused glances, before Zayn reached over to gently rub at Niall’s back.

“That went fine,” he tried.

“That went to fucking shit,” Niall groaned. “My god, I’m such a fucking dickhead.” His head suddenly shot up as he looked around wildly. “Also, how the fuck does he know my name? What is that about?”

“You’re not exactly a quiet person, now are you?” Lewis reasoned. “It’s not unreasonable to think that he’d noticed you and asked around.”

“Did you know this?” Niall demanded, staring at Zayn.

“What? No? Why would I?” Zayn stared at him wide-eyed.

“Well, you’re hanging out with the cool kids now, aren’t you?” Niall pointed out.

“Am I fuck as like,” Zayn scoffed. “Definitely not one of the cool kids, nor am I hanging out with them. I’m hanging out with Liam.” He got an affectionate look on his face. “He’s an absolute nerd.”

“Oh jeez, enough of that shit,” Niall grumbled, putting a hand on Zayn’s cheek and pushing him away. “But you’re usually switched onto the gossip.”

“Uh, no, no I am not,” Zayn protested. “That is definitely your deal.”

“Zayn’s right,” Lewis chimed in. “You’re the gossip among us.”

“Who’s a gossip?” Liam asked, as he approached the group and took a seat next to Zayn.

“Niall,” Zayn and Lewis chorused.

“Oh, yeah, should’ve guessed that,” Liam nodded, before he smiled softly at Zayn. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Zayn replied, leaning over to gently nudge at his shoulder.

“Had enough of you two already,” Niall grumbled. “I’ll see you all later.” He stood up again and grabbed his bag, before stalking off with a huff.

~ three weeks later ~

“Harry!” Zayn called out as the girl in question walked through the door. “You made it!”

He rushed across the café to wrap her up in a tight hug, which Harry returned enthusiastically.

“Hi, hi, hi,” Harry chanted softly, swaying them slowly. “Of course I made it! I missed my boys.”

She pulled back to beam at him, immediately swept up into another hug by Niall, with Lewis close behind.

“We’ve missed you,” Niall admitted. “School is absolutely shite.”

“Well, school would be shite even if you were there,” Lewis shrugged. “It’s just a little less sparkly.”

“I’m sorry, darlings,” Harry pouted slightly. “However, much as I miss you, school is definitely much better now.” She followed them to their table and stopped suddenly, before looking at Zayn accusingly. “I didn’t realise you were bringing your boyfriend.”

“You didn’t say I couldn’t,” Zayn said defensively. “And you liked him!”

“I can leave…” Liam started uncertainly.

“I’m kidding, Liam, I’m joking,” Harry immediately said, reaching out a hand to stop him moving, before changing her mind and pulling him into a hug. “It’s great to see you as well. Besides, it’ll save Zayn repeating everything that’s said to you later,” she added teasingly.

“Shut up,” Zayn mumbled, blushing a little and hiding his face in Liam’s shoulder as he reclaimed his seat.

“It seemed like you had something monumental to tell us when you summoned us all here,” Niall started. “What happened? Who do we need to beat up?”

“We can send Liam in,” Zayn volunteered.

“I… I don’t think I can beat anyone up,” Liam looked around wide-eyed.

“He’s joking,” Lewis murmured reassuringly.

“No, no one needs to be beaten up,” Harry held up a hand to quieten the situation. “I just… maybe… have a date?”

“A date?” “Who with?” “Do we need to vet them first?”

Zayn, Niall, and Lewis all spoke at once.

“Nice one,” Liam added with a smile.

“Yes, a date,” Harry confirmed. “She doesn’t need to be vetted by anyone, thank you very much. I’m… a little bit nervous, to be honest.”

Zayn watched her for a moment and reached out to gently take her hand.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he said comfortingly. “Whoever she is, I’m sure you’ll have an amazing time. Especially if you’re this nervous.”

“It’s Louis Tomlinson,” Harry blurted out, covering her mouth with a hand. “Fuck.”

“As in, Louis?” Liam asked, starting to smile.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “Louis, who everyone was trying to push you with earlier in the year.”

Liam chuckled softly.

“I saw her at James Corden’s birthday party,” he started, flashing a smile at Zayn and squeezing his fingers gently. “I hadn’t seen her for years before that. But she definitely seemed to know exactly what she wanted then.”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “She came out a couple weeks ago, like. Properly. I’m surprised you guys didn’t hear about it, actually. She stood up in the middle of assembly and very loudly declared that she was a raging lesbian, and if people could stop trying to set boys up with her, she’d greatly appreciate it.”

“Wow,” Niall stared. “How well did that go down with the administration?”

“I think they were a bit unsure of how to deal with it, in all honesty,” Harry snickered. “I think they were afraid they’d be called homophobic if they punished her too severely, but the disruption of the assembly still needed to be addressed. So. She got like… three lunchtime detentions, I think.”

“Incredibly mild, really,” Lewis reasoned. “I would’ve expected at least a week’s worth of after school detentions in any other situation.”

The others all nodded in agreement.

“So, where are you going on your date?” Niall asked.

“We’re going to the cinema to see Barbie,” Harry beamed. “Louis’ not seen it yet, and she wants to know if it’s appropriate to take her little sisters to, so it’s kind of a date and fact-finding mission in one. But then we’re gonna go for food afterwards.”

“That sounds perfect,” Zayn practically cooed.

“I’ve heard good things about that film,” Liam nodded. “I wouldn’t mind seeing Oppenheimer though.”

Zayn looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Much as I like Nolan’s Batman adaptations, you could not pay me to see that,” he muttered.

“Really?” Liam looked shocked. “But… history?”

“No thank you,” Zayn shook his head.

“When you two have quite finished,” Niall interrupted before they could continue their discussion. “Can I say something as well?” He paused as the group of friends all turned their attention to him. “So, uh… I’m going to a gig next week. With Shawn.” He promptly blushed, the redness spreading over his cheeks to his ears, and down the front of his throat.

“All the romance!” Lewis beamed. “I love it!”

“You definitely did not ask him,” Harry pointed a finger at Niall. “So, you need to spill on how he asked you.”

“Fuck off, I might have asked!” Niall grumbled defensively.

“Yeah, but you didn’t,” Zayn pushed. “So, tell us how he did.”

“Fuck sake,” Niall rubbed a hand over his face. “Fine, he asked me when I was working on my art project. He stayed behind to help me put everything away.”

“Shawn takes Art too?” Lewis asked in disbelief. “I thought he was in Music?”

“Yeah, apparently he’s been allowed to drop one of the humanities subjects because he didn’t cover the same topics in History in Canada as we do here,” Niall started. “Stop distracting me! Anyway. Yes, he takes Art. I was putting the paints in the cupboard, and he brought the water pots in behind me, so I was a bit trapped and he just… asked me.”

Zayn eyed Niall suspiciously, watching how his blush darkened a little, then looked over at Harry, who had noticed the same thing.

“And that’s all it was?” Zayn asked, keeping his tone light. “Just an invite to a gig?”

“Y-yeah, yeah,” Niall nodded quickly.

“He just… asked,” Harry said slowly.

“Yep,” Niall agreed.

“Nothing else at all,” Lewis added, catching onto the questioning.

“Okay, fine, he kissed me,” Niall exploded, immediately burying his face in his hands as his friends let out yelps and whoops of excitement. “I was so unprepared, I was horrible, and I will not be surprised in the slightest if he doesn’t show at the gig.”

“Either that, or he’ll corner you beforehand to get some more practice in,” Zayn teased gently, reaching out to squeeze Niall’s hand reassuringly. “I’m sure he’s fine with you, love.”

“I wish I had your confidence,” Niall huffed.

“Oh, I think everything’s going to work out for all of us,” Lewis said confidently. He paused for a moment, before tilting his head slightly to one side. “You guys know I’m not interested in anyone, right? And not gonna be? Like… ever?”

“We know, darling,” Harry said delicately. “We love you, just as you are.”

Chapter Text

Zayn walked out of his last GCSE exam feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He stretched his neck from side to side and reached his arms up over his head before shaking them out down beside him as he followed his classmates out of the school building, chuckling softly when he spotted a cluster of his friends waiting for him.

“Zaynie!” Lewis spotted him first, waving a hand enthusiastically.

Liam broke away from the rest and crossed to him quickly, slipping his arms around Zayn’s waist and easily lifting him into a spin.

“Well done,” he murmured as he set Zayn down carefully. “Proud of you.”

“I’d say thanks, but we have no idea how I’ve done yet,” Zayn pointed out, resting his hands on Liam’s shoulders. “Not til August.”

“I know, but you didn’t have a meltdown and need to go to hospital,” Liam shrugged a little. “Counts as a win in my book.”

“Is this something I need to be looking out for next year when you sit yours?” Zayn asked, slightly alarmed.

“No, no,” Liam shook his head quickly. “I mean, I hate exams, but I’ll be fine.”

He gazed at Zayn for a few moments, raising an eyebrow and getting a shrug in return, before he leaned in and gently pressed a kiss to Zayn’s lips. They’d discussed in great length how they wanted to reveal their relationship to the rest of the school at large (and repeatedly ignored all claims from Niall that it was ‘fucking obvious already’, and that ‘anyone who can’t see it should go to fucking Specsavers’) and ultimately decided that just… acting like boyfriends was the way to go. Starting with a public kiss after Zayn’s final exam.

Their friends, however, were not in on the plan (they teased enough as it was, Zayn and Liam weren’t going to prewarn them, who knows what Niall would’ve brought along), so once the element of surprise was past, they all started to cheer and applaud, garnering even more attention than the kiss had.

“Fuck sake,” Zayn muttered against Liam’s lips.

“Mm, your friends first,” Liam smirked, pecking him again lightly before pulling back slightly to look at them, keeping his arms wrapped around Zayn.

“Unfortunately,” Zayn sighed, leaning into him. “Okay, you lot, when you’re done.”

“Oh, c’mon!” Harry protested. “You didn’t tell us you were doing this! We’re allowed to be excited for you!”

“Although a warning would’ve been nice,” Niall added, standing with a hand over his eyes as he leaned back into a giggling Shawn.

“Oi oii, get in there, lads!” Louis added, her arm slung around Harry’s waist.

Liam, Shawn, and Louis had become integral parts of their friendship group over the previous six months, not just because of who they were dating, but on their own merit. Zayn and Louis had bonded over having younger sisters and feeling responsible for them, while Liam and Harry had found common ground around being the younger sibling. Lewis and Shawn could be found discussing books, with Louis nearby offering insight to debates regarding sexuality, sexual identity, and the patriarchy (they all agreed that it needed to be destroyed). Niall and Shawn often brought their guitars whenever they hung out together – especially if it was at Zayn’s as he could provide drums – and they’d all stared the first time Liam opened his mouth to sing.

There had been some concern from a few as the exams had approached, until those were soothed when Zayn and Louis reassured everyone that they would be staying on at their respective schools for Sixth Form rather than going to the independent college in the next city over.

It had been a bit of a tense conversation with Liam initially, especially when he brought up the idea of Zayn going away to uni – but Zayn assured him that it would be something he would discuss with Liam when the time came.

And before that, they had their whole summer in front of them, for love, fun, and most importantly: friendship.