Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Aether created a server: teyvat fried egg

Aether added 81 people

[Aether]: I spent two whole minutes trying to plug in my laptop until I realised it was a book

[Heizou]: is this a cry for help

[Aether]: Maybe.

[Xingqiu]: hi what is this

[Hu Tao]: your mom

[Xingqiu]: screw you

[Venti]: yes please

[Xingqiu]: what

[Hu Tao]: what

[Venti]: nothing 

[Xingqiu]: okay

[Xingqiu]: btw did you guys get the reading material

[Xiao]: why the fuck am i getting notifs

[Aether] i made a server

[Xiao]: why

[Aether]: comradeship.

[Childe]: did i hear comrade??

[Aether]: fuck

[Childe]: no u

[Xiao]: what.

[Aether]: erm

[Aether]: anyways

[Aether]: i made this so i could copy everyone's homework

[Xiao]: fair

[Chongyun]: hi whats this

[Hu Tao]: your

[Chongyun}: no.

[Hu Tao]: aww :(

[Chongyun]: :)

[Jean]: guys why are you texting in class

[Kaeya]: oh fuck shes here

[Aether]: were you reading chat

[Kaeya]: maybe

[Aether]: creepy asf

[Kaeya]: harsh.

[Jean]: guys don't chat in class

[Venti]: or what.

[Aether]: no-

[Aether]: bad idea bad idea-

[Aether]: venti?

[Chongyun]: he's dead

[Xingqiu]: definitely

[Kaeya]: rip

[Hu Tao]: revenue.

[Chongyun]: hu tao no. bad hu tao.

[Hu Tao] aww :((

[Xingqiu]: what the fuck.

[Chongyun]: i will burn your rainbow magic books

[Xingqiu]: what

[Chongyun]: 3

[Xingqiu]: wait no

[Chongyun]: 2

[Xingqiu]: CHONGYUN NO-

[Chongyun]: 1.

[Venti]: rip

[Hu Tao]: revenue.

[Chongyun]: yes

[Hu Tao]: yay :D

[Chongyun]: 

[Chongyun]: :D

Chapter Text

Aether made a private channel: #mondstadt-🌻

[Aether]: hi guys

[Albedo]: hi

[Kaeya]: hey

[Jean]: hello

[Lisa]: hii~

[Lumine]: huh

[Aether]: :0

[Aether]: you're alive!!

[Lumine]: sorry i was reading course material

[Venti]: imagine

[Lumine]: shut up

[Aether]: shut up

[Kaeya]: woah twin telepathy is real

[Lumine]: yes

[Aether]: yes

[Albedo]: how interesting

[Bennett]: damn

[Razor]: weoweoweowe0

[Bennett]: hi razor :D

[Razor]: h3ll0 

[Kaeya]: albedo

[Albedo]: what

[Kaeya]: i saw you stealing baguettes from the cafeteria yesterday

[Albedo]: no i didn't

[Kaeya]: i saw you

[Albedo]: no

[Kaeya]: yes

[Albedo]: no

[Kaeya]: yes

[Albedo]: just because you saw me do it suddenly its me??

[Kaeya]: ..yes?

[Albedo]: fuck

[Venti]: can i have a baguette

[Albedo]: no fuck off

[Venti]: aww

[Kaeya]: bro might be angry

Chapter Text

Xingqiu made a gc: suicide squad

Xingqiu added 6 people

[Xingqiu]: hey

[Chongyun]: oh a gc

[Xingqiu]: no shit sherlock

[Chongyun]: ow

[Yun Jin]: hi what is this

[Xingqiu]: i made a gc for all of us :)

Xingqiu, Chongyun

[Chongyun]: are you trying to rizz up yun jin

[Xingqiu]: no wtf

[Chongyun]: don't lie

[Xingqiu]: im not i swear

[Chongyun]: i bet thats the only reason you made the gc in the first place

[Xingqiu]: no i made it so you can get with hu tao

[Chongyun]: WHAT

[Xingqiu]: what

[Xingqiu]: you'll thank me later

suicide squad

[Xingqiu]: @Hu Tao

[Hu Tao]: who has awoken me from my slumber

[Xingqiu]: me

[Hu Tao]: what do you ask of me mortal

[Xingqiu]: nothing

[Hu Tao]: damn you

[Xingqiu]: you are the damned

[Hu Tao]: aw shucks :(

[Xingqiu]: anyway @Chongyun

[Chongyun]: dont ping me you restarted blueberry

[Xingqiu]: fuck you

[Chongyun]: :)

[Chongyun]: tf do you want

[Xingqiu]: the course material

[Chongyun]: the what

[Xingqiu]: the reading material 

[Xiangling]: what about it

[Xingqiu]: oh you're here

[Xiangling]: im on break

[Chongyun]: break from what

[Xiangling]: i help at the cafeteria

[Xingqiu]: of course you do

[Xiangling]: wdym

[Xingqiu]: nothing

[Xingqiu]: the course material

[Chongyun]: what about the course material

[Xingqiu]: what do we do

[Hu Tao]: read it dumbass

[Xingqiu]: i know you idiot

[Xingqiu]: but where do we read up to

[Chongyun]: page 87

[Xingqiu]: oh

[Xingqiu]: i read it all

[Chongyun]: nerd

[Hu Tao]: nerd

[Xiangling]: nerd

[Xingqiu]: fuck you guys

[Xiangling]: lyt ;)

Chapter Text

Aether created a private channel: #liyue-🀄

[Aether]: hello

[Lumine]: hello brother

[Xiao]: hi.

[Zhongli]: greetings

[Ganyu]: hi

[Childe]: hello comrade! 

[Hu Tao]: morning

[Chongyun]: hu tao its 2pm

[Hu Tao]: your point is

[Xingqiu]: erm

[Aether]: typical

[Lumine]: typical

[Xingqiu]: gods stop doing that

[Aether]: no

[Lumine]: no

[Childe]: that is so weird

[Xiao]: you're weird

[Childe]: no you

[Xiao]: i will kick you where it hurts 

[Childe]: brave words from someone whos only 5 foot

[Xiao]: fuck you

[Xiao]: you stupid ed sheeran ripoff

[Childe]: what

[Xiao]: your aim is as bad as your jokes

[Childe]: hey

[Xiao]: you pathetic piece of shit

[Xiao]: no wonder youre the weakest harbinger

[Xiao]: i bet skirk trained you just because she thought it'd be entertaining to see you die

[Childe]: HEY

[Xiao]: your money is the only thing that keeps you company

[Childe]: WHAT

[Xiao]: who the fuck named you anyway

[Childe]: erm

[Xiao]: who names their child childe

[Childe]: thats not very harmonious of you.

[Xiao]: shove that harmony up your ass

[Xingqiu]: woah

[Hu Tao]: bro chose violence today

[Xiao]: shut the fuck up

[Xingqiu]: yes sir

[Hu Tao]: affirmative

[Xiao]: ive seen slimes with more personality than you

[Childe]: SLIMES DONT HAVE PERSONALITIES

[Xiao]: i'd tell you to go drown yourself but you'd probably mess that up too

[Childe]: HWAT

[Xiao]: in the end youre just an errand boy

[Xiao]: youre all talk and getting your ass beat

[Childe]: FUCK YOU

Childe has gone offline.

[Aether]: feeling better?

[Xiao]: much better.

Chapter Text

Lumine created a gc: playpen

[Lumine]: hiii @everyone

[Klee]: HIIIIII

[Nahida]: hello

[Diona]: what

[Qiqi]: he

[Qiqi]: llo

[Yaoyao]: hi qiqi!!

[Qiqi]: yaoyao

[Lumine]: hi everyonee ^^

[Lumine]: this is the kids gc

[Nahida]: why can't we be with everyone else?

[Lumine]: because venti is with everyone else

[Diona]: fair

[Lumine]: so wyd

[Nahida]: im reading a book 

[Lumine]: ooh what kind?

[Nahida]: a fairytale

[Lumine]: aww thats cute

[Diona]: somebody told me diluc doesnt like wine

[Lumine]: he doesnt

[Diona]: 

[Diona]: HE DOESNT??

[Lumine]: nope

[Diona]: then why does he own a winery?

[Lumine]: grownups are weird

[Diona]: fair

[Diona]: then

[Diona]: do you think

[Diona]: he'll let me blow it up

[Diona]: if i ask nicely?

[Lumine]: idk

[Lumine]: maybe not

[Diona]: oh

[Klee]: @Lumine 

[Klee]: would jean be mad if i accidentally left something at the school?

[Lumine]: i dont think so

[Lumine]: leave what

[Klee]: uhm..

[Lumine]: klee.

[Lumine]: leave what

[Klee]: oopsies

Chapter Text

#liyue-🀄

Aether added Gaming to the channel

[Aether]: @Gaming

[Aether]: hi

[Gaming]: shh im playing stardew valley

[Aether]: what valley

[Gaming]: its a game

[Aether]: oh okay

[Yun Jin]: oh you also play stardew valley?

[Gaming]: yep ^^

[Yun Jin]: we could play together sometime

[Gaming]: sure!

[Xingqiu]: i could play too

[Aether]: where did you come from

[Xingqiu]: somewhere

Xingqiu, Gaming

[Xingqiu]: back off shes mine

[Gaming]: what

#liyue-🀄

[Chongyun]: who's the new guy

[Aether]: a friend :)

[Chongyun]: oh okay

[Gaming]: hi!! who are you?

[Hu Tao]: your mom

[Aether]: fuck

[Hu Tao]: what

Hu Tao, Aether

[Aether]: HU TAO YOU FUCKING IDIOT

[Hu Tao]: WHAT DID I DO

[Aether]: HIS MOTHER IS FUCKING DEAD

[Hu Tao]: HOLY SHIT

[Hu Tao]: FUCK

[Aether]: EXACTLY

#liyue-🀄

[Hu Tao]: @Gaming

[Hu Tao]: I AM SO SO SORRY

[Hu Tao]: I HAD NO IDEA

[Hu Tao]: IM SORRYR

[Gaming]: uh

[Gaming]: nah its okay

[Hu Tao]: REALLY?

[Gaming]: you were just making a joke lol

[Gaming]: its not your fault

[Hu Tao]: OH THANK GOODNESS

[Xingqiu]: see this is why you should think before you act

[Hu Tao]: shut the fuck up

[Xingqiu]: Really sorry btw @Gaming

[Gaming]: no its fine

[Gaming]: it was a long time ago

[Aether]: right

[Aether]: lets talk about something else

[Gaming]: okay ^^

[Hu Tao]: so

[Hu Tao]: what do you major

[Gaming]: PR

[Chongyun]: are you a people person

[Gaming]: i guess so

[Gaming]: i like people 

[Chongyun]: i could never

[Gaming]: that's fine

[Gaming]: you will one day

Hu Tao, Aether

[Hu Tao]: did you invite an angel to gc

[Aether]: no i invited gaming

[Hu Tao]: same thing

[Hu Tao]: how the fuck is he so nice

[Aether]: idk

[Aether]: maybe he touches grass

[Hu Tao]: oh that explains it

#liyue-🀄

[Hu Tao]: are you sure you're human @Gaming

[Hu Tao]: or are you just a muppet or something

[Gaming]: i am

[Gaming]: arent i?

[Gaming]: i dont know what i am

[Hu Tao]: woah

Chapter Text

Aether created a private channel: #inazuma-🍡

[Aether]: hi guys

[Gorou]: hey

[Kokomi]: hi

[Yoimiya]: heyo

[Kirara]: hiiii!!

[Arataki Itto]: AETHER MY MAN WSG (≧∇≦)/

[Aether]: hey itto

[Aether]: are you in jail again

[Heizou]: he is

[Kuki Shinobu]: yep

[Arataki Itto]: hey its not my fault! (＃`Д´)

[Kujou Sara]: of course its your fault

[Arataki Itto]: it wasn't me kujou tengu!! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

[Kujou Sara]: don't call me that

[Arataki Itto]: youre no fun (•̀⤙•́ )

[Aether]: where's kazuha

[Aether]: @Kazuha

[Kazuha]: h3ll0oo0o

[Aether]: kazuha?

[Kazuha]: YeSs

[Aether]: hes drunk again isnt he

[Gorou]: what

[Gorou]: how

[Gorou]: all he had was fruit juice

[Heizou]: about that

[Kuki Shinobu]: what did you do.

[Heizou]: it wasn't me! it was venti!

[Aether]: venti?

[Kujou Sara]: who

[Kuki Shinobu]: who's venti

[Aether]: starbucks largest cup size

[Kuki Shinobu]: oh

[Heizou]: femboy looking twink

[Kujou Sara]: oh i think i've seen him on campus before

[Aether]: he's hard to miss tbh

[Aether]: anyway what did venti do

[Kazuha]: jnSh83Auhbj8nwh

[Heizou]: idk he put cocktails where the juice was supposed to be

[Kazuha]: 92sjhq4jnu28rh7

[Aether]: of course he did

[Aether]: how much 'juice' did kazuha have exactly

[Heizou]: he downed an entire bottle

[Aether]: oh fuck

[Heizou]: actually maybe 2

[Aether]: holy shit

[Yoimiya]: whats happening

[Kazuha]: yo8miyq

[Yoimiya]: oh hes drunk

[Yoimiya]: is he gonna start speaking haiku

[Aether]: i think hes too drunk to spell properly

[Kazuha]: 2ehye3fr83

[Kazuha]: M8ya

[Yoimiya]: did he just meow

[Yoimiya]: with an 8

[Aether]: wait where the fuck is he

[Heizou]: idk he left anemo dorms 

[Yoimiya]: what the fuck

[Aether]: what

[Heizou]: what

[Gorou]: what

[Yoimiya]: i hear fucking knocking

[Aether]: are you sure that just isnt hu tao

[Heizou]: yeah its probably hu tao

[Gorou]: who tao

[Yoimiya]: no its not hu tao

[Yoimiya]: what the fuck someone is outside my window

[Aether]: throw a firework at them

[Heizou]: good idea

[Aether]: wait youre on the first floor right

[Yoimiya]: no im on the third

[Aether]: how the fuck did they get to your window

[Heizou]: maybe they flew

[Heizou]: oh fuck

[Aether]: uh oh

[Yoimiya]: what

[Yoimiya]: fym 'uh oh'

[Yoimiya]: who the fuck is outside my window

[Aether]: i think its kazuha

[Heizou]: its kazuha

[Yoimiya]: what the fuck is kazuha doing outside my window

[Aether]: paying you a visit

[Heizou]: probably to start speaking haiku

[Yoimiya]: what do i do

[Aether]: let him in

[Yoimiya]: but its against the rules

[Heizou]: do you want him to fly around your window all night

[Yoimiya]: good point

[Aether]: is he in

[Aether]: yoimiya?

[Aether]: @Yoimiya 

[Heizou]: man alive

Chapter Text

#liyue-🀄

[Xingqiu]: @everyone

[Xingqiu]: why is there noises outside

[Chongyun]: what

[Zhongli]: my sleep is being interrupted

[Xiao]: who the fuck is making that racket

[Childe]: anyone wanna go check

[Xingqiu]: yeah nah

[Chongyun]: i'd much rather live tomorrow

[Keqing]: whats going on

[Hu Tao]: a ghost has escaped the graveyard

[Chongyun]: no it hasnt

[Hu Tao]: stop ruining it

[Chongyun]: no

[Xingqiu]: guys what if its a murderer

[Chongyun]: they can take you first

[Hu Tao]: preach

[Childe]: definitely

[Xiangling]: yep

[Xingqiu]: fuck you

[Keqing]: ugh

[Keqing]: ig ill go check

[Hu Tao]: safe travels

[Chongyun]: if they threaten you offer xingqiu instead

[Xingqiu]: no offer chongyun

[Hu Tao]: nuh uh

[Xingqiu]: why

[Hu Tao]: who will i bully if he dies

[Xingqiu]: fair point

[Chongyun]: go to hell

[Xingqiu]: no but still

[Xingqiu]: im sure the ghosts will be happy to see him dead

[Chongyun]: if you die the ghosts and the living will rejoice

[Xingqiu]: curse you

[Xingqiu]: you ice-cream biter

[Childe]: he does what

[Xingqiu]: exactly

[Childe]: yeah no offer him up

[Chongyun]: can we offer childe

[Xingqiu]: thats actually a good idea

[Childe]: what

[Childe]: no

[Hu Tao]: i agree

[Keqing]: nobody is being offered

[Keqing]: its just aether

[Xingqiu]: what

[Chongyun]: whats aether doing outside

[Keqing]: he was sleepwalking

[Aether]: sorry guys

[Xingqiu]: did you have too much naku weed

[Aether]: thats kazuhas thing

[Xingqiu]: oh

[Aether]: anyway you can all go to sleep now

[Xingqiu]: are you gonna go back to your dorm

[Aether]: no its too far

[Chongyun]: where will you sleep then

[Aether]: keqing said i could stay with her

[Keqing]: only because he'll probably start sleepwalking again

[Xingqiu]: oh

[Chongyun]: oh

[Hu Tao]: oh!

[Keqing]: what

[Hu Tao]: nothing

[Xingqiu]: night

[Chongyun]: good night

[Aether]: erm

Chongyun has gone offline

Xingqiu has gone offline

[Hu Tao]: nighties

Hu Tao has gone offline

[Aether]: okay then

Chapter Text

Aether created a private channel: #sumeru-🪷

Aether added 15 people

[Aether]: wsg gang

[Lumine]: ew wtf

[Aether]: what huh

[Lumine]: stop being fruity

[Aether]: HWAE

[Alhaitham]: 'hwae'

[Aether]: stfu you dont pull bitches

[Alhaitham]: what does that have to do with anything

[Kaveh]: everything

[Alhaitham]: ok

[Nilou]: morninggg

[Tighnari]: hello!

[Cyno]: hi

[Wanderer]: greetings peasants

[Sethos]: hello

[Wanderer]: hey its the cyno copy

[Sethos]: the fuck did you call me

[Wanderer]: its giving ctrl c, ctrl v + reduce font size

[Sethos]: go to hell

[Wanderer]: been there done that

[Sethos]: what.

[Wanderer]: what

[Kaveh]: hes a little special

[Wanderer]: shut it

[Kaveh]: no 

[Wanderer]: you still owe me $65

[Kaveh]: i do?

[Wanderer]: yep.

[Kaveh]: oh um

[Kaveh]: im sorry 

[Wanderer]: thats better.

[Alhaitham]: kaveh owes everyone money

[Kaveh]: i do not

[Alhaitham]: you owe me

[Cyno]: and me

[Tighnari]: me too 

[Candace]: same

[Nilou]: yep

[Dehya]: yessiree

[Dori]: you owe me so much i could buy a new car with it

[Sethos]: mhm

[Aether]: you owe me and lumi money too

[Kaveh]: goddamnit

[Kaveh]: this is bullying

[Yuka]: how dare you target my bbg

[Wanderer]: i do dare

[Wanderer]: wait what

[Alhaitham]: who the fuck

[Cyno]: tf

[Tighnari]: excuse me but who are you @Yuka

[Yuka]: oops

[Aether]: @Lumine

[Lumine]: what

[Aether]: there's a stranger in the server

[Lumine]: who what when where how

[Aether]: that's a lot of questions that i don't have the answer to 

[Lumine]: wait who tho

[Aether]: idk the display name was 'yuka'

[Wanderer]: they called kaveh bbg

[Kaveh]: i fear for my life tremendously

[Alhaitham]: calm down you drama queen

[Kaveh]: fuck you

[Lumine]: yuka sounds like an inazuman name what are they doing in the sumeru channel

[Aether]: idfk i didnt invite them

[Lumine]: wait aether

[Aether]: yeah

[Lumine]: the logs show nobody named yuka is in this channel

[Lumine]: or even in this server

[Lumine]: no invites have gone to them either

[Wanderer]: okay what in the actual fuck

[Aether]: you're kidding me right

[Aether]: @Yuka

[Aether]: wtf

[Cyno]: they're 'ghosting' you

[Cyno]: get it

[Cyno]: because its like they never existed

[Aether]: cyno shut the fuck up

[Cyno]: yes sir

[Nilou]: lmao that made me laugh

[Cyno]: wait really

[Nilou]: its pretty funny actually

[Tighnari]: you're lying right

[Nilou]: no i actually did laugh

[Tighnari]: oh archons

[Cyno]: see she understands!!

[Tighnari]: shes probably just humouring you because

[Nilou]: because?

[Tighnari]: nvm

[Lumine]: i scanned the systems

[Aether]: and

[Lumine]: 'yuka' doesnt exist

[Lumine]: it mustve been a glitch or sum

[Aether]: no way

[Wanderer]: but i saw it

[Cyno]: yeah everyone did

[Kaveh]: im so scared

[Lumine]: but nothing came up

[Aether]: how

[Lumine]: idk but it didnt

[Lumine]: it was just a glitch

[Lumine]: now move on

[Wanderer]: whatever

[Aether]: if they come back you owe me 10

[Lumine]: ugh fine

[Cyno]: why did the old man fall down the well

[Lumine]: cyno shut the fuck up

[Cyno]: yes ma'am

[Kaveh]: im still scared

Chapter Text

#general

[Baizhu]: @everyone There is something seriously amiss. We have a major problem on our hands.

[Venti]: WHTA

[Kaeya}: 'whta'?

[Venti]: stfu elsa

[Kaeya]: elsa? thats a new one

[Baizhu]: Kindly shut the fuck up

[Venti]: sorry T^T

[Kaeya]: soz

[Baizhu]: Anyway, as I was saying

[Chongyun]; what happened

[Baizhu]: Qiqi's coconut milk was stolen.

[Chongyun]: @Hu Tao

[Hu Tao]; why do you immediately make me the prime suspect

[Chongyun]: because you're hu tao and she's qiqi.

[Hu Tao]: fair

[Venti]: who's qiqi

[Kaeya]: and who would steal coconut milk of all things

[Aether]: liyue things

[Kaeya]: i see

[Hu Tao]: omg aether!!

[Aether]: hi

[Chongyun]: qiqi's coconut milk got taken

[Aether]; so i've been told

[Aether]: where did she lose it @Baizhu

[Baizhu]: she said she was drinking it in the oval, at a bench. then she heard a noise, left the milk on the bench, and when she came back, it was gone

[Aether]: i see

[Hu Tao]: who ya gonna call?

[Chongyun]: tao stfu

[Hu Tao]: fuck you

[Chongyun]: sure

[Hu Tao]: HQAT?

[Aether]: 'hqat'

[Hu Tao]: FUCK YOU YOU BLONDE PRICK

[Aether]: hey thats offensive to blondes

[Albedo]: i agree

[Jean]: that wasn't very nice

[Barbara]: ouch..

[Kaveh]: how dare you

[Thoma]: its fine you probably didnt mean it like that

[Kazuha]: erm

[Lyney]: damn

[Freminet]: oh!

[Lynette]: fuck you

[Mika]: uh-

[Fischl]: I, the prinzessin der verurteilung, condemn you for such harsh speech

[Lumine]: hu tao you meanie

[Yoimiya]: aww

[Kirara]: hey!

[Hu Tao]: oh erm

[Hu Tao]: i'm sorry

[Hu Tao]: why are there so many blondes

[Aether]: our genes are prominent

[Baizhu]: @everyone be quiet

[Baizhu]: this is an emergency

[Aether]: we should ask someone smart

[Arataki Itto]: WSG MY BROS

[Aether]: definitely not him

[Heizou]: why the notifications

[Aether]: you

[Heizou]: me?

[Aether]: yes you

[Heizou]: what

[Aether]: someone stole qiqi's coconut milk

[Heizou]: who's qiqi

[Aether]: irrelevant

[Heizou]: okay

[Heizou]: where did it happen

[Baizhu]: markedmap.jpg

[Heizou]: why do you have that saved

[Baizhu]: somebody made qiqi cry.

[Heizou]: i see

[Heizou]: i'll check the place out

[Aether]: take someone smart with you 

[Aether]: many hands make light work

[Heizou]: okay who

[Aether]: @Kuki Shinobu

[Kuki Shinobu]: what happened?

[Heizou]: damn

[Aether]: go to the scene of the crime and figure out who did it

[Kuki Shinobu]: scene.. of the crime?

[Heizou]: will explain later 

[Kuki Shinobu]: aight then 

[Heizou]: bet

[Aether]: now we wait

[Baizhu]: you know what

[Aether]: what

[Baizhu]: nukes are fun

[Aether]: oh!

[Aether]: @Liyuean he's gone mad

[Hu Tao]: o

[Hu Tao]: damn

[Xingqiu]: it happens to the best of us

[Chongyun]: are you speaking from experience

[Xingqiu]: yes

[Xiao]: what the fuck

[Chongyun]: hi xiao

[Xiao]: hello

[Aether]: xiao wsp

[Xiao]: i got pinged three times. 

[Aether]: oh erm

[Aether]: its an emergency

[Xiao]: what kind of emergency requires you to ping every fucking member of this server?

[Aether]: someone stole qiqi's coconut milk

[Xiao]: oh

[Xiao]: that is an emergency

[Aether]: see

[Xiao]: was it hu tao

[Chongyun]: most definitely.

[Hu Tao]: NO IT WASNT

[Heizou]: im back

[Aether]: what did you find

[Heizou]: many things

[Heizou]: evidence

[Aether]: spill

[Heizou]: we found

[Kuki Shinobu]: a fake red plum blossom 

[Chongyun]: @Hu Tao 

[Hu Tao]: NO MINE ARE REAL

[Chongyun]: are they

[Hu Tao]: no, but!

[Kuki Shinobu]: we aren't done yet

[Chongyun]: oh sorry

[Chongyun]: please go on

[Heizou]: a bookmark

[Chongyun]: @Xingqiu

[Xingqiu]: you act as if i'm the only one who fucking reads

[Heizou]: a maple leaf

[Chongyun]: it's winter

[Heizou]: exactly

[Kuki Shinobu]: a blueprint for a building

[Kaveh]: WHAT

[Heizou]: and an empty bottle of wine

[Heizou]: all within the scene of the crime

[Aether]: this.. is unexpected

[Heizou]: the evidence has been collected

[Heizou]: next.. the interrogation.

Multiple people are typing..

[Heizou]: quiet it was meant to be a dramatic end

Chapter Text

Heizou created a group chat: The Interrogations

Heizou changed his name to 'Detective Shikanoin'

[Detective Shikanoin]: @everyone

[Kaveh]: no im innocent i swear i dont even like coconuts

[Detective Shikanoin] quiet. you will speak when spoken to.

[Kuki Shinobu]: are you perhaps high

[Detective Heizou]: always was

Detective Shikanoin changed Kuki Shinobu's display name to: Cookie

[Cookie]: i will fucking gut you

[Kaveh]: is this a lover's spat

[Kaveh]: mother father pls dont divorce

[Cookie]: do you want me to gut you as well

[Kaveh]: no im sorry ma'am

[Hu Tao]: NO NOT THE POLICE

[Hu Tao]: I SWEAR I DIDNT DO IT

[Kaeya]: what no im not meant to be here

[Xingqiu]: surely not we're besties remember??

[Detective Shikanoin]: who are you again

[Xingqiu]: go to fucking hell

[Venti]: THIS IS NOT EHE

[Diluc]: i will fucking find you

[Detective Shikanoin]: quiet

[Detective Shikanoin]: if you can prove your innocence you shall be set free

[Kaeya]: what if i just leave the gc 

[Detective Shikanoin]: dont you fucking dare

[Kaeya]: damn ok

[Kaveh]: so how is this meant to work

[Detective Shikanoin]: you'll be interrogated in DMs

[Kaveh]: then why the group chat

[Detective Shikanoin]: effect

[Yuka]: hello peoples

[Kaveh]: oh god no

[Detective Shikanoin]: what the heck

[Yuka]: ah yes hello you two 😊💗

[Kaveh]: please spare my family.

[Yuka]: maybe

[Detective Shikanoin]: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?? 

[Yuka]: i have my ways 🤭🪄

[Detective Shikanoin]: HWATA??

[Yuka]: scared now are we? 

[Yuka]: don't be scared, i don't bite~!

[Kaveh]: no let me out of here

[Kaveh]: WHY CANT I LEAVE??

[Cookie]: we blocked leave feature in case somebody tried to escape

[Kaveh]: FUCK

[Yuka]: now now, mind your language please.

[Kaveh]: i will cry

[Yuka]: no dont cry

[Yuka]: im sorry :<

[Kaveh]: i

[Kaveh]: who

[Kaveh]: who are you

[Yuka]: anyway

[Yuka]: i'm here to help

[Detective Shikanoin]: oh uh 

[Detective Shikanoin]: thanks?

[Yuka]: you're welcome hehe  🌈 🦋✨

[Detective Shikanoin]: ignoring that minor setback

[Yuka]: hey

[Detective Shikanoin]: we will explain why you all are here

[Cookie]: @Kaveh

[Kaveh]: my record is clean i swear

[Detective Shikanoin]: there was a blueprint at the scene of the crime

[Kaveh]: other people use blueprints!

[Detective Shikanoin]: with 'kaveh' written in fancy script in the corner

[Kaveh]: oh

[Kaveh]: i can explain i just

[Detective Shikanoin]: shush, you will have the chance to explain later.

[Cookie]: @Hu Tao

[Hu Tao]: e3jdnj2

[Detective Shikanoin]: how inspiring

[Detective Shikanoin]: anyway, a decorative plum blossom was found at the scene of the crime

[Detective Shikanoin]: and according to a reliable source, a blossom was missing from your hat today

[Hu Tao]: CHONGYUN THAT SON OF A BITCH

[Detective Shikanoin]: lover's quarrel i see

[Hu Tao]: STFU YOU SHERLOCK HOLMES WANNABE

[Detective Shikanoin]: i'll have you know i am actually working on getting an advanced diploma for police investigations

[Detective Shikanoin]: and i ace all my classes

[Cookie]: @Xingqiu

[Xingqiu]: mhm?

[Detective Shikanoin]: finally someone who isnt trying to plead innocence before testimony

[Xingqiu]: i know i'm innocent, so i have no need to be scared

[Detective Shikanoin]: love the mindset

[Detective Shikanoin]: so there was a bookmark at the scene of the crime, the pattern was custom designed, and according to a reliable witness,

[Xingqiu]: chongyun again?

[Detective Shikanoin]: identical to the one on most of your belongings

[Xingqiu]: i see

[Cookie]: @Venti

[Venti]: oui oui?

[Detective Shikanoin]: the wine bottle was a bit more vague, but according to witnesses, you are almost always carrying a bottle of wine with you

[Detective Shikanoin]: and so are you @Kaeya

[Kaeya]: just because i like wine doesnt mean i would drink a whole bottle of it

[Detective Shikanoin]: you still need to be questioned, since according to witnesses you were severely drunk last night

[Kaeya]: i was?

[Cookie]: @Diluc

[Diluc]: yes?

[Detective Shikanoin]: it would be unlikely, but you are also being questioned as it was brandname wine from dawn winery

[Detective Shikanoin]: and before you say 'anyone could have bought it from me', it was special edition wine, which, from my knowledge went out of stock ages ago.

[Diluc]: ah

[Detective Shikanoin]: therefore, you all are required, to be interrogated.

Multiple people are typing...

[Detective Shikanoin]: please stop ruining my dramatic endings

Chapter Text

Kaveh, Yuka

[Yuka]: @Kaveh

[Kaveh]: oh shit

[Yuka]: heyyyyy

[Kaveh]: please no i'll do anything

[Yuka]: exactly

[Kaveh]: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??

[Yuka]: so, about the blueprint

[Kaveh]: ARE YOU IGNORING ME??

[Yuka]: no i could never

Yuka deleted the message: 'no i could never'

[Yuka]: you're being interrogated shut up and answer the questions

[Yuka]: or else

[Kaveh]: yes ma'am

[Yuka]: so, why was the blueprint there?

[Kaveh]: it must've been the one i lost

[Yuka]: lost?

[Kaveh]: i was working on something the other day, but it was too dark in my room because someone forgot to pay the electricity bills

[Yuka]: someone?

[Kaveh]: someone meaning the shittiest piece of trash that this poor world has ever seen

[Yuka]: oh!

[Kaveh]: so i went outside to shine the sun on it, and a gust of breeze blew it away

[Yuka]: with how much you glow you could have just looked at it

[Kaveh]: excuse me

[Yuka]: nvm

[Yuka]: valid testimony.. but then again, you could be lying

[Kaveh]: i swear i'm not

[Yuka]: aha! 

Yuka added Neuvillette to the group chat.

[Kaveh]: who?

[Neuvillette]: hello

[Yuka]: can you use the thing please

[Neuvillette]: the thing?

[Yuka]: the ortrice thing

[Neuvillette]: ah, you must mean the ✨oratrice mecanique d'analyse cardinale✨?

[Yuka]: yes that thing

[Neuvillette]: of course madam, i will do my best to deliver a verdict

[Yuka]: thank you

[Kaveh]: wait wait wait wait wait

[Kaveh]: verdict? oratrice? what?

[Neuvillette]: actually, it is called the ✨oratrice mecanique d'analyse cardinale✨

[Kaveh]: with the sparkles?

[Neuvillette]: yes.

[Kaveh]: so.. what is the

[Kaveh]: thing

[Neuvillette]: the ✨oratrice mecanique d'analyse cardinale✨is a computer program i designed

[Yuka]: its quite interesting, once you get over the name

[Neuvillette]: excuse me?

[Yuka]: quite interesting, yes

[Neuvillette]: ah. well, the computer program is designed to analyse a testimony or a case in the whole, and give a verdict/prove it correct or false

[Kaveh]: that is extraordinary

[Kaveh]: did you code it yourself?

[Neuvillette]: the coding was mostly lumine

[Kaveh]: ahh

[Yuka]: are people being interrogated meant to talk

[Kaveh]: oh sorry

[Yuka]: no its fine you're too pretty to stay mad at

[Kaveh]: what

[Yuka]: what

[Neuvillette]: the ✨oratrice mecanique d'analyse cardinale✨ has come to a conclusion

[Neuvillette]: his testimony is sound.

[Kaveh]: oh thank the archons

[Yuka]: i knew he was innocent all along

[Neuvillette]: you did not.

[Yuka]: i did not.

[Yuka]: but i was hoping it

[Kaveh]: why

[Yuka]: bailing you out would cost me a lot

[Kaveh]: you.. would bail me out?

[Yuka]: yes.

[Kaveh]: oh

[Kaveh]: thanks ig?

[Yuka]: (≧▽≦)

[Kaveh]: so who are you again

Yuka has left the group chat

[Kaveh]: aw shucks

Chapter Text

Aether created a private channel: #fontaine-⚖️

[Aether]: croissants

[Charlotte]: do you think saying croissant will make fontainians like you

[Aether]: yes

[Charlotte]: you're absolutely right

[Clorinde]: i heard croissants hand them over

[Lumine]: isnt this online

[Clorinde]: online croissants are still croissants

[Aether]: croissants.jpg

[Clorinde]; delicious

[Neuvillette]: croissants!

[Furina]: heyyyy

[Neuvillette]: ah, lady furina

[Furina]: HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI

[Wriothesley]: someone's happy

[Furina]: i started my morning seeing a beautiful picture of croissants, of course i'm happy!

[Wriothesley]: valid

[Sigewinne]: hello everyone

[Wriothesley]: hello sigewinne

[Sigewinne]: mr. aether taught me a new game

[Wriothesley]: game? 

[Sigewinne]: yes, you have to say the opposite of everything i say.

[Wriothesley]: interesting

[Sigewinne]: would you be so kind as to play with me, your grace?

[Wriothesley]: of course

[Sigewinne]: yay! start now

[Sigewinne]: green

[Wriothesley]: red

[Sigewinne]: blue

[Wriothesley]: pink

[Sigewinne]: cats

[Wriothesley]: dogs

[Sigewinne]: sweet

[Wriothesley]: savoury

[Sigewinne]: always

[Wriothesley]: never

[Sigewinne]: not gonna

[Wriothesley]: gonna

[Sigewinne]: take

[Wriothesley]: give

[Sigewinne]: me

[Wriothesley]: you

[Sigewinne]: down

[Wriothesley]: up

[Sigewinne]: yay

[Wriothesley]: shi

[Clorinde]: no

[Wriothesley]: shoot

[Navia]: hi guys

[Neuvillette]: hello

[Navia]: i saw someone litter

[Neuvillette]: litter? 

[Neuvillette]: have them arrested immediately

[Navia]: for littering?

[Neuvillette]: a crime is a crime

[Navia]: alright then

[Neuvillette]: i will be back

[Wriothesley]: how much do you bet it's gonna be execution penalty

[Clorinde]: 8

[Wriothesley]: aight

Chapter Text

Hu Tao, Detective Shikanoin, Chongyun

[Hu Tao]: why is chongyun in my interrogations

[Detective Shikanoin]: because you have a bias towards him

[Hu Tao]: no i dont

[Chongyun]: yes you do

[Hu Tao]: whos side are you on 

[Chongyun]: my own 

[Chongyun]: i was bored

[Hu Tao]: asshat

[Chongyun]: :)

[Detective Shikanoin]: now be quiet

[Detective Shikanoin]: hu tao

[Detective Shikanoin]: we have a right to believe that you could be a possible suspect in this case

[Hu Tao]: because chongyun told you about the plum blossoms?

[Detective Shikanoin]: that, and your known history with qiqi

[Hu Tao]: why are you doing all this for one coconut milk anyway

[Hu Tao]: just buy her another one

[Chongyun]: it wouldnt be the same

[Hu Tao]: why not

[Chongyun]: you wouldnt understand

[Hu Tao]: sure buddy

[Chongyun]: stfu

[Detective Shikanoin]: anyways, everyone knows you love plum blossoms

[Detective Shikanoin]: and there was a faux one on the scene of a crime

[Hu Tao]: it isnt rlly conclusive evidence tho

[Detective Shikanoin]: care to explain why?

[Hu Tao]: my pum plossoms blow off my hat like almost every time

[Hu Tao]: i always replace them

[Detective Shikanoin]: noted

[Detective Shikanoin]: but how do we know you aren't just lying?

[Hu Tao]: you wouldnt know that

[Hu Tao]: but you could trust me!!

[Chongyun]: thats a mistake you never want to make believe me

[Hu Tao]: meanie >:c

[Chongyun]: -_-

[Hu Tao]: ik qiqi and i arent on the best terms but i would never take a childs drink from them

[Hu Tao]: honest

[Chongyun]: thats nice of you tao

[Hu Tao]: :D

[Chongyun]: i hope you're being sincere

[Chongyun]: if this is a lie and it was you

[Chongyun]: i will break every bone in your matchstick neck

[Hu Tao]: ;-;

[Detective]: there isnt enough evidence to rule you out

[Detective Shikanoin]: but also not enough to prove it was you

[Detective Shikanoin]: so i think you can be excused for tdy

[Hu Tao]: yippee

[Chongyun]: good

[Detective Shikanoin]: the case still remains a mystery.. will we ever find out who did it?

Multiple people are typing...

[Detective Shikanoin]: for the love of god people PLEASE stop ruining my dramatic endings

Chapter Text

Venti created a group chat: 6REEZE

Venti added 5 people

[Venti]: hello bbgs

[Wanderer]: i think youre a twink

[Kazuha]: so are you

[Wanderer]: nuh uh

[Aether]: tbh none of us are over 5'2

[Heizou]: teyvat high is secretly a twinkie factory

[Xiao]: no shit considering you exist

[Heizou]: X-xiao-kun.. h-how could.. y-you do this to me..? ><

[Aether]: -100 aura right there

[Xiao]: ok

[Kazuha]: thats kind of real

[Venti]: heh..

[Aether]: little bro you cant just say 'heh' out of nowhere 

[Venti]: this.. really tickles my pickle.. by pickle i mean... peanits... heh..

[Xiao]: what in the actual fuck

[Kazuha]: this is why youre single venti

[Venti]: nuh uh

[Aether]: look around you we all have gfs

[Venti]: it was bribery

[Venti]: blackmail

[Venti]: coercion

[Xiao]: youre just salty you pull no bitches

[Aether]: if i was a woman and he came up to me id spray raid at him

[Wanderer]: valid

[Venti]: youre all mean

[Aether]: htroughotu havean and erath i alnoe am the hnoroued oen

[Kazuha]: aether the rizzler

[Wanderer]: see even aether has rizz venti

[Venti]: thats not very alpha of you

[Kazuha]: no shit hes a bottom

[Wanderer]: i what

[Xiao]: hes right ykw

[Aether]: no comment

[Venti]: you guys

[Venti]: i made a new friend today

[Xiao]: holy shit you have friends??

[Kazuha]: no way ure capping

[Venti]: no im not

[Venti]: his name is deez

[Venti]: deez nuts

[Xiao]: the fuck

[Venti]: hahahahhahah im so funny monkey

[Wanderer]; atleast you got the monkey bit right

[Venti]: HEY

[Heizou]: my honest erection

[Venti]: WHAT

[Heizou]: SYOTP

[Heizou]: IM CREAMING

[Kazuha]: YOURE WHAT

[Xiao]: WTF BRO

[Heizou]: HWLOEP I MEANT SCREAMING

[Heizou]: I FUCKING HATE AUTOCORREWCT

Chapter Text

Lumine created a private channel: Natlan

Lumine added 11 people

[Lumine]: hello everyone

[Kachina]: hi lumine!! :DDDDD

[Mualani]: heyeyeyeyeyey

[Kinich]: hi

[Ajaw]: who are you again

[Lumine]: you

[Ajaw]: nonsense i am me

[Lumine]: indeed

[Ajaw]: @Kinich this person pisses me off

[Kinich]: doesnt everyone

[Xilonen]: hey kinich is it true citlali bought a bunch of light novels from inazuma and asked you to help carry them

[Kinich]: yes

[Xilonen]: i knew it shes a weeb

[Ajaw]: atleast she has better gardening skills than you

[Xilonen]: you little rat

[Mualani]: dont say that, im sure hes just feeling a little testy today

[Xilonen]: that little piece of shit is always being testy

[Mualani]: thats not very nice

[Kinich]: no let her go on shes right

[Ajaw]: fuck you

[Kinich]: language

[Xilonen]: kinich in his old man era

[Kachina]: mualani what does fuck mean

[Kinich]: well shit

[Kachina]: and what does shit mean

[Mualani]: idk actually

[Mualani]: what does it mean @Kinich

[Kinich]: im pretty sure the first one is baby seal in fontanian

[Ajaw]: real smooth

[Kinich]: shush

[Kinich]: and the other one is um

[Kinich]: a fancy kind of pastry

[Mualani]: ohh 

[Kachina]: okay then!!

Mualani changed Mualani's display name to 'Sharky'

Mualani changed Kinich's display name to 'Spinach'

[Spinach]: what

[Sharky]: i gave us nicknames!! :DDDD

[Kachina]: what abt me??

[Mualani]: oh yeah gimme a sec

Sharky changed Kachina's display name to 'Twirly'

[Twirly]: yay!!

[Spinach]; can i have my name back

[Sharky]: no

[Spinach]: okay

[Xilonen]: why did bro fold like that

[Ajaw]: hes a simp thats why

[Spinach]; screw you ajaw

[Ajaw]: nuh uh thats incest

[Spinach]: not in that way you little

[Spinach]: uh

[Spinach]: bad

[Spinach]: meanie

[Twirly]: whats incest

[Spinach]: ajaw i will strangle you

[Ajaw]: nah ill pass

[Spinach]: wait wtf i smell smoke

[Ajaw]: smoke? from what

[Ajaw]: SHIT

[Ajaw]: MY NOODLES

[Spinach]: AJAW DID YOU LEAVE THE FUCKING OVEN ON

[Twirly]: baby seal oven?

[Ajaw]: KINICH GO GET MY NOODLES THEYRE GONNA BURN

[Spinach]: i fucking hate you burn in hell

[Sharky]: hes gone

[Xilonen]: how much money do yall bet his house goes up in flames

[Mavuika]: all my money

[Sharky]: omg hi mavuika!!

[Mavuika]: hello youngsters

[Xilonen]: girl shes like one year below you

[Mavuika]: still

[Spinach]: hey guys im back

[Spinach]: and ykw what

[Spinach]: i had a Thought™

[Xilonen]: why the trademark symbol

[Sharky]: what thoughts did you have

[Spinach]: communism was actually onto something

[Xilonen]: kinich wtf

[Twirly]: whats communi-

[Mavuika]: its best you dont know kachina :>

[Twirly]: oki!!

[Spinach]: technically human rights violations don't count if they don't say anything

[Xilonen]: WHAT is little bro on about

[Mavuika]: little bro ur gonna get flamed

[Spinach]: i like going to support groups for people in wheelchairs and telling them to 'stand up for their rights'

[Xilonen]: THATS FOUL  💀

[Mavuika]: YOURE GONNA GET CANCELED WTF ARE YOU DOING

[Spinach]: exactly

[Xilonen]: is this ajaw

[Spinach]: no

[Mavuika]: it is isnt it

[Xilonen]: @Spinach give him back his phone ajaw

[Mavuika]: ajaw that was not harmonious

[Xilonen]: ajaw you little shit

[Spinach]: sorry guys

[Spinach]; ajaw took my phone

[Spinach]: its okay though i snapped his neck 

[Mavuika]: oh!

[Xilonen]: good

[Twirly]: kinich

[Twirly]: what are human rights violatio-

--------------------------------------------------

art for the chapter!! (drawn by my mappa studio animator @Mangoicecream /hj)

Chapter Text

Kaveh created a GC: Sumeru's best (worst) party planners

Kaveh added 10 people

[Kaveh]: guys tomorrow is nahidas birthday

[Nilou]: oh yeah im so excited!!

[Alhaitham]: damn vro

[Cyno]: are all preparations set?

[Sethos]: yessir

[Candace]: I'm going to play tanbur for her

[Kaveh]: i made this epic candy machine thing

[Alhaitham]: gumball machines arent new youre not smart kaveh

[Kaveh]: stfu this is different

[Alhaitham]: ok then how is it different

[Kaveh]: um

[Kaveh]: because this one 

[Kaveh]: throws the candy at your face instead

[Alhaitham]: how is that a nice birthday surprise

[Kaveh]: if you catch it in your mouth you get bragging rights

[Alhaitham]: and if you don't?

[Kaveh]: you

[Kaveh]: everyone else pretends it never happened

[Alhaitham]: ok little bro

[Tighnari]: hi guys

[Tighnari]: i made the flower bouquet for her using mostly padisarahs

[Tighnari]: the choice of flora is meant to emit a sweet scent and fill the brain with serotonin, perfect for a birthday gift

[Cyno]: wow tighnari

[Cyno]: thats some flowery language you used

[Tighnari]: kill yourself

[Cyno]: aw shucks

[Faruzan]: be quiet youngsters

[Faruzan]: no bickering today, it's nahida's special day

[Dehya]: what she said

[Nilou]: you're here!

[Dehya]: sorry, i was making candy for nahida

[Nilou]: yummy

[Nilou]: i made a dance for her in the performance centre

[Cyno]: is only nahida allowed to watch?

[Sethos]: simp

[Cyno]: i enjoy theatre shut up

[Sethos]: you havent even watched les mis

[Sethos]: tf you mean 'you like theatre'

[Kaveh]: he hasn't watched les mis??

[Kaveh]: @Cyno with all due respect, kill yourself!

[Cyno]: sigh

[Sethos]: what are you doing right now anyway @Cyno

[Cyno]: your mother

[Sethos]: can i join

[Cyno]: .

[Cyno]: well,

[Cyno]: if you incest

[Cyno]: get it

[Cyno]: because insist and incest sound similar

[Sethos]: kill yourself

[Cyno]: :(

[Nilou]:its okay cyno 

[Nilou]: ill be doing the dance for nahida on campus

[Nilou]: so you can watch too!

[Cyno]: then i will

[Sethos]: simp

[Cyno]: no

Chapter Text

Detective Shikanoin, Kazuha

[Kazuha]: hgi heuzoi

[Detective Shikanoin]: erm

[Detective Shikanoin]: are you high

[Kazuha]: whar

[Detective Shikanoin]: high

[Kazuha]: hello

[Detective Shikanoin]: bitch

[Kazuha]: teehge

[Detective Shikanoin]: why tf were you sniffing crack before an interrogation

[Kazuha]: eeh

[Detective Shikanoin]:😐

[Detective Shikanoin]: fine let me js

Detective Shikanoin added Wanderer to the DM

[Wanderer]: what

[Detective Shikanoin]: you

[Wanderer]: me

[Detective Shikanoin]: yes

[Detective Shikanoin]: you were the suspect's alibi right

[Wanderer]: oh yeah

[Wanderer]: but how did you know that

[Detective Shikanoin]: kuki told me

[Wanderer]: i see

[Detective Shikanoin]: anywyas

[Wanderer]: *anyways

[Wanderer]: moron

[Detective Shikanoin]: the suspect is currently too stoned to answer any questions

[Kazuha]: gyagt

[Detective Shikanoin]: so you

[Detective Shikanoin]: will tell me what exactly you and kazuha were doing

[Detective Shikanoin]: specifically kazuha

[Wanderer]: um

[Wanderer]: ok

[Wanderer]: kazuha and i met in front of the anemo dorms after classes

[Detective Shikanoin]: homo

[Wanderer]: nuh

[Wanderer]: and we went to uh

[Wanderer]: the oval

[Detective Shikanoin]: gasp

[Detective Shikanoin]: the scene of the crime

[Wanderer]: did you just 

[Wanderer]: say gasp..?

[Detective Shikanoin]: no

[Detective Shikanoin]: i typed it

[Detective Shikanoin]: hahahahh get rekt loser

[Wanderer]: i'm going to rip out every individual artery in your arm and feed them to you

[Detective Shikanoin]: kinda hot tbh

[Wanderer]: kys

[Detective Shikanoin]: so what were you doing at the oval

[Wanderer]: getting high

[Detective Shikanoin]: i'm sorry

[Detective Shikanoin]: what

[Wanderer]: did i stutter?

[Detective Shikanoin]: you're typing

[Wanderer]: exactly.

[Detective Shikanoin]: so you were both doing drugs on the oval?

[Wanderer]: yep

[Detective Shikanoin]: yall dont have an alibi though

[Wanderer]: yeah we do

[Wanderer]: ask kinich

[Detective Shikanoin]: who

[Wanderer]: his pfp is js a picture of his eye

[Wanderer]: it is green and amber

[Wanderer]: and his bio says 'dm me for more info'

[Detective Shikanoin]: uh

[Detective Shikanoin]: ok

Detective Shikanoin started a private DM with Kinich

[Detective Shikanoin]: hey were kazuha and wanderer doing drugs on the oval

[Kinich]: im sorry who are you??

[Detective Shikanoin]: JUST ANSWER ME

[Kinich]: jesus

[Kinich]: who even are wanderer and kazuha

[Detective Shikanoin]: white hair with a red streak

[Detective Shikanoin]: and the other one has a giant hat

[Kinich]: er

[Kinich]: oh yeah i did see two people like that

[Detective Shikanoin]: and what were they doing?

[Kinich]: drugs

[Detective Shikanoin]: dammit

[Detective Shikanoin]: i wanted to get kazuha in trouble

[Kinich]: i have no idea what you're talking about

[Kinich]: but honestly

[Kinich]: i dont wanna know