Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tommy was bored, in fact, he had been bored for a while. For most of the last year of his life, as there wasn’t much to do in the small cell the Aliens shoved him into. He was halfway through counting the fairly covered-up cracks in the ceiling (again) when he heard footsteps.

His breathing seized up even as he forced himself to remain calm. He backed into the corner of his cell, lips curled in a snarl. The strange, beetle-like aliens that had abducted him stopped before his cell. He straightened up glaring at the door. One of the beetles chittered nervously to another as they unlocked the door.

Instead of tranquilizing him and coming in (as he had grown accustomed to), they instead… threw another alien in…? It wasn’t another beetle but, instead, it was rather humanoid. Other than the pink hair, pig-like ears, tail, and dark red eyes glaring at the guards.

Tommy was confused, why did the aliens stuff another prisoner into his cell? Did they want him to att- no! Not even going to think about that possibility. The other alien was staring at Tommy, gaze critical. They were large, tall, and well-muscled. Yeah, there was no way he could fight this guy(? was he a guy?).

Maybe he could show the alien he was friendly? He was pretty lonely. But, how would he even do that? He didn’t know the language and the only thing he had were the clothes on his back and some food he had stashed away. He didn't exactly like the idea of giving away resources, but… he could use some company, and the pig(?)-alien seemed like a good fighter too.

With the decision all but made for him, he shifted to reach into his food stash, making sure to keep his movement slow and as non-threatening as possible. He grabbed one of the food packets, the one that had the texture of meat but almost more synthetic(?) and the taste of mud. He moved closer to the alien, who stiffened, before offering the food packet to them.

The alien paused for a second, seemingly confused, before taking the food packet. The alien sniffed it cautiously as if testing something before cautiously eating it. After a few minutes, the Alien’s posture relaxed as he examined Tommy as if he realized something.

The pig alien asked a question in his weird alien language but Tommy just looked at him, confused.

Chapter Text

Technoblade glared at the Draughnt who captured him, joyed at their panicked reactions as they scurried away before shifting his attention. The Terran they had shoved him inside a cell with was squinting at him. The Terran had golden hair that made his instincts purr happily, pale skin, and sky-blue eyes.

The Terran seemed as if they were trying to decide something. He glared as they seemed to come to a conclusion. They moved slowly and carefully, perhaps to lower him into a false sense of security? They approached him carefully and just as they were about to get too close, they stopped, holding up a ration packet.

The Terran stared up at him innocently, tilting their head, almost like an Aelira. He opened the ration packet carefully, taking an inquisitive sniff, Dig the Terran poison it? Nothing seemed off so he took a cautious bite. It tasted as fine as a synthetic meat ration packet could. After he remained fine for five minutes he figured it was safe.

He stared down at the Terran, who was looking up at him expectantly. Almost like… oh no, oh Ghast, did the Draughnt steal a child? Their bastion must be furious looking for them. Of course, it was at a time like this that Chat decided to speak up.

- When did Techno get a kid?

-EEEE

-He didnt

-He didnt yet, you mean

-Blood for the blood god

-What if the kid’s an orphan

-Booo orphans

-Bedrock bros no clickbait?

-E

-E

-Stop spamming

-NO.

-A runt?

-Softnoblade arc no clickbait?

-Softnoblade!

-Hear me out! Dadnoblade

-Dadnoblade

-Dadnoblade 4 lifeeee!

-EEEEEEEE

“Shut up, chat,” He muttered harshly under his breath before turning back to the runt. Maybe the kid wasn’t so bad, after all, “How long have you been here kid?” He was met only with a confused look in response. Guess the kid didn’t know common then.

Chapter Text

It had been a couple of days (?, it was hard to tell when the room was constantly filled with cold light). The pig alien and him bonded a bit, or at least he hoped they did, he couldn’t quite tell. Speaking of which he needed a better name for him. Usually, he would just ask, but he couldn’t exactly do that.

So, he sat and thought up a name. Eventually, he had thought of the perfect one! ‘Blade’ which only narrowly beat out against ‘bitch’. Tommy hummed in satisfaction, earning a nudge and a slight head tilt from Blade.

“I’m fine, Blade. Just thinking,”  Tommy reassured, despite knowing Blade couldn’t understand him, gently patting his friend’s arm. Blade stared at him, confused, before patting Tommy’s arm as well. Tommy sighed, shaking his head softly. He started to count the cracks on the ceiling again.

1…

-

9…

Blade chuffed another question at him.

10…

11…

He didn’t know what it meant…

12…

Tommy bounced his leg.

13…

14…

Blade asked another.

15…

16…

He still didn’t understand.

17…

18…

Fuck, what he wouldn’t give to be able to talk to someone again.

19.

Chapter Text

The kid was Thinking. Or at least, that’s what Techno hoped was happening. Loathe as he was to admit it, he had grown attached to the kid. The kid made a sound that vaguely reminded Techno of the hum of an engine.

Was that normal? It would be best to check. He nudged the kid, titling his head in a way to imitate confusion. The kid respond in the Terran language, patting his arm gently…? Techno confusedly patted his arm back, earning a soft exhale of breath and and a gentle side to side shake of the kid’s head.

-Aww…

-EEEE

-Poor Techno, hes trying so hard too

-E

-E

-Blood for the blood God

-Runt

-Gold

-EE

-Doesn’t the kid need a name?

For the first time in probably forever, one of Techno’s voices had a point. He couldn’t keep calling the runt ‘kid’. He turned towards the kid, who was staring up at the ceiling.

“Hey kid, you wouldn’t mind if I gave you a nickname?” He asked.

No response. Guess that meant yes then.

He paused, pondering what he would even call the kid. Techno racked his brain for names. The only thing he could come up with was the name ‘Theseus’ after one of his favorite piglin myths. He didn't even know why, it just fit the kid.

“Hey, runt, can I call you ‘Theseus’?” Techno questioned. 

No response again, but Chat seemed to like it.

-Theeeeseeeuuus

-Our Prince!

-Our Angel!

-Theseus!

-EEEE

-Blood for the Blood Prince

-Blood for the Blood Angel

-E

Chapter Text

Tommy isn’t quite sure how he got here. He technically knew, but he didn't quite understand. How did he end up in space? He was just a poor foster kid. What was he the one who was abducted? Of all people, how did they choose him? Or maybe they didn’t, maybe they just took him.

Tommy was pretty sure he was kind of even with how terrible his life was before he got abducted. Only because of Blade, really, it would’ve been much lower before the pig alien got shoved into his cell. Back when there were experiments.

Unknown substances…

Syringes…

Scalpels…-

-he cut himself off by pressing himself against Blade’s side. The pig alien started- purring? Or was it more of a rumble? Either way it was weird. But… also comforting, grounding. A hand brushed through his hair Normally he would back away from this kind of touch, he was a big man, he didn’t need head pats or hair ruffles. 

However, he had been stuck inside this cell for pretty long, so sue him for being touch starved. He hadn’t received this much affection since he was pulled out of his old school and away from his favorite teacher. He smiled warmly as he thought of the memories. She promised to adopt him, said that he would always have a home with her.

Had he been running away that night (Like the foster system likely thought)- the night he was abducted, he would have run to her. But alas, here he was stuck on an alien spaceship. He sunk into Blade’s hold and the soft affection. Which seemed unusual, given that he was built like a fighter.

Not that he was complaining

He missed his teacher of course. He had called her mom way too many times not to. But, he thinks Blade was a fair trade off. And alien captors weren’t too different from strict foster parents. Well except for the lack of clear rules and inhumane experimentation.

Or, at least, that’s what he told himself as he drifted off to sleep. He didn’t notice the start of growing murmur in his mind as Blade’s purring blocked it out.

Chapter Text

Theseus pushed himself into Techno’s side, pulling his legs to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Techno placed a hand on Theseus’s hair. It was a dull god, matted up and tangled. Techno couldn’t help running his hand through it.

Theseus sunk himself even closer to his side. And Techno purred as the golden hair seemed to shine even brighter. He knew that it wouldn’t properly shine until he was able to properly wash it.

Until, because he would be able to wash it. Techno would get out of here. And he was going to take Theseus with him,

-Aww

-Theseus gives you, DETERMINATION

-Technoprotect

-Protectnoblade

-Golden Runt

-E

That’s when he realized it. He was attached to the kid, no, his runt. Theseus was his sounder now, and Techno would protect him no matter what. His prince, his angel.

Chapter Text

Tommy was pretty sure he was hearing things. It had started off as a murmur, he hadn’t even noticed it. But it had grown louder. Most of it was gibberish, at least, to him. It sounded like how Techno talked. At first he thought maybe Techno was muttering. But it didn’t sound like Techno.

The sound was more energetic, it didn’t have a place it came from either. Other than his own mind, maybe. Sometimes they would dip into English, but it was broken. As if they were still learning.

-Angel

- An gel?

-E

-Nu-uh, Angel

-Pri nce?

-Prince!

-E

-Our Prince!

- Our Angel!

This would take some getting used to.

Chapter Text

Most people only knew him by his moniker, “The Blood God”. All they know is he is an anarchist and pirate. They think he’s merciless. What they didn’t know was that his name was Techno and he grew up in a fighting ring. The Pit was merciless, it taught him to be merciless, unforgiving.

It’s where his moniker originally came from. No one knew his name back then. He barely knew it. The first person to know his name was an Elytrian.

Philza was a pirate and an anarchist, but to Techno, he was the first person to know his name. He had found Techno, far too wary and mature for his age. Philza had done something no one else had, he asked Techno his name. He took Techno under his wing- quite literally.

The second person to know his name was Kristin, who Philza was bonded with, not that they were together much. They were both very busy and their schedule rarely overlapped. The third person to know his name he had met while visiting his home planet. A strider named Niki.

Not a lot of people knew his name, even now. But he didn’t mind, as long as those who knew remembered.

…

He wonders why Chat’s been acting so weird.

Chapter Text

The day had started out good, or, well as good as it could be given the circumstances. He woke up warm, which he had slowly gotten re-used to. Turns out, Blade was a snuggler and also a living space heater. Which always helped Tommy start his day in a happier way.

Well, he still felt lazy, and didn’t get up and go until Blade did. It was still more enjoyable though. When they finally got up for the day, Tommy incessantly rambled, as he always did, despite the language barrier. This time it was about raccoons and how they washed their hands,

It all came to a halt when he heard footsteps. The same shimmying footsteps of the ‘scientists’. The ones he recognized far too well.

~*`+`*~

Scalpels carved into his skin.

Pain.

Pliers pulling away as needles and blades curiously poked around his chest cavity.

PA-

—----

Samples stacked upon samples.

A bloody operating table.

Strained metal clamps.

Red blood resting on surgery tools.

Bright, fluorescent lights beating down.

—----

Bubbles floating up from underwater.

Seizing against an alien’s hold.

Head peeking up from underwater.

A gasp of air.

Being pushed back under.

—----

Flesh pulled and snipped away.

Screams- so many screams.

His own.

Purring,-

…?

Purring?

Oh. He wasn’t there was he?

Blade was purring, accompanied by soft chuffs. He had pulled Tommy into a protective embrace, sitting not uncomfortably against the wall. Softly combing through his hair. Tommy relaxed into his hold (only partially though, ‘cause he was touch starved).

When Tommy finally had the bravery to look up he saw the scientists, who were knocked out on the floor- or maybe killed. He couldn’t tell. Blade gave another reassuring chuff, pulling him to his feet, muttering something in his language.

Chapter Text

The day had been normal for Techno, or well, the normal he had adapted too in enemy capture. He awoke early, but did not get up until it felt as if the excess energy was burning its way out of his body. Followed soon by Theseus.

Speaking of which, the runt was an absolute chatterbox. He rambled about anything, despite Techno not being able to understand. He’s pretty sure if he had a self learning translator it would be fluent.

As the kid rambled about one thing or another, he cut himself off. And Techno could tell- no, hear why. Footsteps, shuffling and certain. Some of them were recognizably Draughnt but most of them were Dreamons.

Dreamons, who were usually scientists in the most terrible way possible. Who were usually experimenting on any one they could-

Experimenting.

What the fuck did they to Theseus.

How dare they hurt Theseus.

-Ooh!~ Protective Techno?

-Dadnoblade mode: activated

-Blood for the Blood God

-E

-EEE

-Protect our angel!

-Our prince!

-How dare they!

-Blood for the Blood God!

The voices had erupted in anger. Techno shared their sentiments. That’s why the second the cell door opened he was on them. When he was done, they were unrecognizable. And maybe fatally injured, but they deserved it,

-Theseus!

-Don’t forget our Angel!

-Calm Theseus!

-E

-He’s scared!

-He thinks he’s back there!

-Our poor prince!!

-Help him!

The voices were right. Theseus had pressed himself into a corner and was shaking with fear. Techno sighed, moving towards the flashback riddled runt. He scooped Theseus into his arms, lowly purring and chuffing reassuringly. Eventually, the kid stiffened before relaxing, though still with shuddered breaths.

Techno wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that before Theseus eventually moved. Techno couldn’t help the self pride that bubbled in his chest as his instincts cheered about what a great protector he was.

But, all things had to come to an end. So he chuffed reassuringly, pulling Theseus up to his feet.

“Come on, Runt, we have to go.”

Chapter Text

Blade ushered him out of the cell.

Tommy, still a bit out of it from his earlier panic attack, didn’t resist much. He let the piglin alien drag him by his arm around the unconscious bodies of the scientists and out the door, into the cold, unforgivingly gray hallways of the lab. Blade had a stern look on his face, and glanced back every now and then to see if Tommy was still with him.

They turned some corners, Blade navigating the halls like a pro, but after only a few moments, a blaring red alarm went off. Tommy flinched, knocked out of his thoughts, and Blade muttered what sounded like a string of curses. Tommy may not speak the piglin’s language, but to him, cursing was universal.

The two’s speed-walking turned into a jog, and Tommy hoped Blade knew what he was doing.

A yell in the alien’s language startled Tommy as the rest of the ship was alerted.

If it weren’t for Blade pulling him along, Tommy would have frozen at the sound of that voice. One of the scientists had found them. Blade shouted something at Tommy that he couldn’t understand, but he got the gist of it. Run. Faster.

Now with a couple dozen Dreamons on their tails, Tommy and Blade were nearly sprinting at this point. The fact that the scientists were chasing after them meant that the scientists knew they broke out of their cell, and the fact that they knew that they broke out of their cell meant that the Dreamons knew about what Blade did to the scientists that entered their cell earlier today. Tommy did not want to think about what punishment would entail if they got captured again now.

Suddenly, two scientists popped out in front of him and Blade as they tried to round a corner.

The aliens shouted something at them and for some reason his gut was telling him it was extremely corny. The small muttering at the back of his mind seemed to agree.

Shit. They were cornered. Tommy and Blade slowed to a stop. Tommy glanced wearily at the scientists, one by one, while Techno glared at them suspiciously. They stood back to back, watching the scientists, almost daring them to make a move.

Tommy recalled a memory from his past, from before he got caught and locked up in this hellhole. Someone important (maybe a friend or foster sibling, he couldn’t remember now,) taught him that if you were cornered, you had to keep your stance wide and low, ready to react to anything should your attackers start, y’know, attacking.

And attack they did. As soon as more scientists joined their ranks, the scientists that were surrounding Tommy and Blade started rushing them, closing in on all sides. Shoving away feelings of weakness or claustrophobia, Tommy blocked punches and dodged kicks like his life depended on it (which it probably did).

Meanwhile, Blade was actively taking the opponents down. He was obviously stronger than Tommy, but the amount of absolute brute force and muscle the guy had was tremendous. One well aimed punch to a guy’s neck or face, and they would crumple like stones.

But Tommy couldn’t afford to get distracted by Blade’s majestic yet forceful fighting style. He had his own matches to fight. Tommy ducked under someone’s leg, grabbing it, and flipping it over his head. He raised his arms to block fists, then jabbed at his opponents’ ribs lightning quick. A dirty tactic, but on the streets, you did what you had to do to survive.

Remember to breathe. You’ll lose stamina quickly if you aren’t breathing properly.

Not even trying to dissect whatever memory just surfaced, Tommy focused on a more patterned breathing, taking things calm and collected. He kicked someone in the nose, then spun around and placed a well aimed punch in another person’s gut. He kept repeating this cycle, losing himself in the moment, with only the thought of survival in his mind.

Then Tommy heard an abrupt yell from behind him, and a hand close around his bicep. He turned, ready to smack the shit out of whichever scientist thought it would be a good idea to lay hands on him, when he found that it wasn’t a scientist who grabbed him at all. Shaken from his adrenaline-induced stupor, Tommy realized that Blade was urgently gesturing for him to follow.

Obviously he follows without question.

Chapter Text

While Techno was impressed by the runt’s fighting skill and appreciated how he could hold his own in an attack, there were too many scientists flooding in, and Techno knew that sooner or later Tommy and his’ stamina would be depleted to nothing and they would be too tired to block another punch.

Back in the earlier days, piglins, when hunting for food, Techno’s ancestors would always hunt the faster prey, as they tasted the best. The prey would sprint away from them, using up all their energy, and the piglins, with their good endurance, would just…keep up. Very slowly and steadily. 

And over time, their prey would get more and more tired, and run out of energy. And then, Techno’s ancestors would eat them. 

It was this story that was playing on repeat in Techno’s mind, stressing him out, because he was pretty sure he knew from this how his and Tommy’s story would end if they didn’t do something, fast.

That was why when Techno’s advanced Piglin ears heard dozens of more footsteps pounding against the harsh metal floor, he got Theseus to follow him immediately.

Techno wasn’t a fool. Even with a language barrier, he could see that Theseus was a bright kid. A bright kid that had a full on panic attack when the scientists showed up in their cell. And if those scientists were that cruel as to have such a big effect on such a wonderful kid, then Techno did not want to know what he would do to them if he was found out. 

He didn’t want to scare h̶i̶s̶ s̶o̶n̶ the runt anymore than he had too.

-EEEE 

-DADNOBLADE! DADNOBLADE! Say it with me now! DAAAAAAAAAADNOBLADE!

-Fathernoblade

-Techno’s in denial about being a dad!

-JUST LIKE MINE!

-Damn, that’s dark dude.

-EEE

-I get it, my dad must have been in denial about how long the line to get the milk was.

-We got so off track here.

-E

 He pulled Theseus next to him as he found the corridor with escape pods. He locked the room from the inside but he knew it wouldn't take long until the scientists got a hacker to get through it. He pulled a control panel from the wall and started to open up an escape pod. Suddenly, he heard a clicking sound as Theseus opened up an old storage closet. Techno saw Theseus about to close it before his eyes widened and he pulled out an old, red… sack?

The kid started to half-heartedly ruffle through it, his eyes wide with… recognition? The runt pulled it to his chest and glanced at Techno, who suddenly remembered he had to get them into an escape pod. The clear separation between an escape pod lifted and he pushed the kid inside, buckling pushing him into a wall seat and making sure the security belts were secure before closing the escape pod, setting the sequence and buckling himself into a wall seat. The clear separator closed off the pod again, and a metal sheet came down after, then they detached.

If he had more time then he would’ve set a proper course but currently the pod was designated to ‘Closest safe planet’ which he supposed was fine. The red sack- perhaps something of Theseus’?- laid in the sitting nest area  and the boy seemed disgruntled as they flew away from the ship.

As they reached the planet something messed up while entering the atmosphere and they rocketed out of control. 

-Crash landing

-Oh no! What if our prince gets hurt!

-E

-You mean what if our angel gets hurt

-omg can you shut up and let us just use the word prince you prissy little kid

-its not our fault your using the wrong term

-how is it the wrong term? it fits him perfectly

-Techno is the blood god not the blood king you dumbass

-Prince still works better!

-EEEEE

-No, angel fits the theme better you dumb little kid

-you people are overthinking this

-you don’t even think!

-yes i do!

-if you actually thought you’d use Angel you idiot

-Theseus would be on our side!

-EE

-No! he’d be on ours you royal-wannabe

-You’re one to talk you theme obsessed weirdo!

-Well at least I’m consistent!

-Consistent my ass! We coined Prince before you coined angel!

-no, we coined angel before you coined prince.

Techno desperately wanted to undo the security belts around him and shelter the runt but he knew that’d only be worse. He had done it once and in the end he had to be on bedrest for months. It was painfully boring and he couldn’t do anything for the runt if he was injured. So he stayed put.

Chapter Text

When they hit the ground all Tommy could feel was blinding pain. It consumed his senses and he was shocked he hadn’t blacked out. The control panel Techno had used to control the escape pod (?) fell, it was as if the metal it was mounted with splinters and fell on top of him piercing right above his hip bone and leaving him bleeding and in too much pain to focus on anything other than breathing.

He heard Blade move and barely refrained from screaming out in pain as Blade pulled at and undid the seatbelts and out the control panel keeping Tommy in place, scooping him up in one arm and, after a second's hesitation, grabbing something red out the setting area beneath them. Tommy’s backpack. He hauled them through an opening with relative ease and set Tommy down on the trunk of a tree. The bark was silver and the leaves teal and Blade dipped back into the escape pod, pulling out the many blankets that Tommy thinks were in the bottom section of the ship.

Blade took one out that looked more light and moved it around Tommy, using the stretchy and soft material as a makeshift bandage as he wrapped it around Tommy’s torso and leg. As Tommy glanced down he realized the grass was a darker shade of cyan than the trees and the flowers all seemed to be yellow or silver. Tommy admired the beautiful nature as a whole despite the feeling of the stab wound still hunting him.

Blade picked him up, and held Tommy’s backpack by looping his arm through one of the straps while he simultaneously held the blankets. He walked through the tall wooden trees before they stumbled upon a cave with black rocks and Blade walked inside. The cave seemed like the type of cave a bear would live in, descending down gradually but opening up into a large area that was empty. Tommy really hoped there weren’t any alien bears here.

Blade didn’t seem too concerned as he set Tommy down and dumped the blankets on his left before leaning his backpack on him- well more on the wall, but no one was there to chastise Tommy about his wording (because he still couldn’t speak Blade’s language). He arranged the blankets to cover Tommy and chuffed some words at him.

Tommy was pretty sure Blade was at least bi-lingual. Because sometimes he spoke in the same language as the guards back at the lab, but sometimes he spoke in chuffs and other strange sounds Tommy didn’t have the words for. Blade petted Tommy’s head gently, pulling him beside him as he gently adjusted him into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around Tommy, as if Blade could shield him from threats. Tommy, exhausted by his earlier flashback, fell asleep in the familiar arms of one of his only friends.

Chapter Text

Techno rubbed at his head grumpily, he forgot how much crash landings tended to hurt. His eyes blinked over to Theseus grumpily and suddenly he was on autopilot. The control panel’s mount had pierced into the runt’s skin, presumably breaking off during the fall. He quickly undid the safety belts and carefully undid Theseus’s as well. 

He quickly pulled out the control panel and It’s mount, scooping h̶i̶s̶ s̶o̶n̶ the kid into his arms before hesitating at the red bag Theseus recognized and scooping it into his remaining arm before climbing out of the escape pod and carefully placing Theseus against the silver bark of a tree.

Theseus was still bleeding, and Techno tur- THESEUS WAS STILL BLEEDING! Techno think! Think!

-He cannot be serious rn

-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-Dude just get blankets out of the escape pod’s nest and wrap him in one.

That was… actually a good idea. Huh, chat had a good idea. First time for everything, he thinks, dazed for a few seconds before immediately getting back to the task at hand, dropping back into the escape pod and pulling all the blankets into his arms and crawling back out. He dumps them onto the floor, Taking a thinner but more comfortable and stretchy blanket and carefully arranges the blanket around the kid as a bandage.

-Is anyone else insulted that he thinks we don’t have good ideas

-EE

-I mean… is he wrong?

-no, they have a point here and the point is we don’t have any good points.

-i’m pretty sure that’s a paradox buddy.

-EEE\

-wow. Bro is really bringing science into chat like this

-how dare you

-orpha- [comment removed by moderator]

-bro is evil

-EEEEEEEE

-I’m happy they caught that so fast tbh

-no need for the tbh, we all were

-yeah, besides. WE all know techno has already adopted him.

-you’re totally right bestie I mean earlier it was as if- *insert something comprehensible here*

-Dad mode was activated!

-Yes that!

No, chat ‘dad mode’ was not activated.

-that’s what he wants us to think- it’s all a conspiracy theory.

-lol yeah his anarchist side is showing

-wait are wE THE GOVERNMENT??/?//????

-OH HELL NAH

-GOVERNMENT!?!?!??!?!!?!?!!?! US?!?!?!?!?!1!?1/??

-guys can you shut up.

-no <3

Techno hadn’t even noticed it but he was moving. He held Theseus in his arms and found a cave that looked nice enough to set camp in. He rested the boy and his backpack on the wall. Carefully building a den (or nest as Phil liked to call it. He wondered what the terrans called theirs) around them. He pulled the runt against him carefully and they silently cuddled in closer together.

Techno hoped chat would quiet down like they did when he tried to sleep on the ship, but apparently the addition of a den- even an improper one caused them to be more insufferable than normal.

-Dadnoblade, dadnoblade, dadnoblade, dadnoblade

-AWWWWWWWWW-

-Den time! Hell yes!

They were literally a symbiote why did they give so many fucks about his instincts and den anyways.

-because we can-

-I wanna break a fourth wall

-why the fourth one?

-all the mods are getting summoned frfr

-EEEEE

-Our angel is so adorable

-Prince!

-Angel!

-This is the thing that is gonna tear Technoblade fans apart.

-I’m gonna break the fourth wall.

-NO! It cost so much to get repaired

-deadpool is that you??XD

-EEEE

-EE

-Blood for the blood god

-More like hugs for the blood prince!

-blood angel!

-Blood prince!

-So, tw: fourth wall break- 

Chapter Text

When Tommy woke up he was alone. It- It wasn’t new, but… Tommy couldn’t help but be disappointed. Of course Blade left him, he was just some annoying kid. He probably only took him this far out of pity. He- well, Tommy couldn’t blame him. He knew it was true after so many years in the foster system, he was annoying, loud, unloveable.

-NO!

-EVERYONE SPAM THE PRINCE W/ LOVE!

-ANGEL! 

-PRINCE!

-ANGEL!!!

-WE LOVE YOU, BLOOD PRINCE

-OUR ANGLE COULD COMMIT WAR CRIME AND ID STILL STAND WITH HIM

-Angle?

-Blood for the blood prince! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD ANGEL!

-I MEANT ANGEL!

-It’s price but whatever. :/

-PRICE???

-THAT IS SO INACCURATE- our prince is priceless

-Two (three?) new sides have entered the conflict.

-Please don’t- I have too much trouble trying to stay out of this civil war as it is.

Okay, that was it, Tommy was definitely going insane- this was- he could handle this. Sure he was hearing voices and Blade left him, but he could handle this. He should try and figure out where he was first.

-No, he didn’t leave, runt.

-Look at mr grammar over here

-Why do we like this kid he’s an- [Comment removed by moderator]

-HE IS NOT ANNOYING

-EEEE

-BLAsphEMY!

-Besides, techno adopted him. He is no longer an orphan

-pretty sure that’s not how that works but whatever

-Anyways, DO NOT GET UP! You’re injured and Techno is coming back to the den soon.

-Yup! He’s just fetching food and sticks.

-Technodad

Now, Tommy had 2 options here; go as originally planned, or stay as the voices insisted he do. So he obviously picked the third option. Wait for 15 minutes and if Blade didn’t arrive by then he would have a mental breakdown and run as far as he could. Much to the dismay of the voices- who seemed to leave him alone again, quieting down to a murmur.

Tommy glanced around again and saw… not much. He was in a cave obviously, a blanket was wrapped around his torso and tied in place, his backpack was propped up by the side and he started to move over to grab it, wincing at the pain in his hip.

-NO, STAY! You’ll hurt yourself!

-Stay!

-EEMJKS- STAY

“Jesus fuck… I’m just grabbing my bag you dipshits, I’m not leaving…” Tommy grumbled under his breath, which seemed to appease them enough into quieting back down.

He pulled his heavily worn down red backpack and opened it up. For some reason he hadn’t packed clothes when he was running away so the only things inside was a thing of clearasil (A quick check proved it was dried out), a toothbrush and hairbrush. As Tommy dug around deeper in his backpack, he found some definitely overdue school work and a small photo album.

It was about a quarter of the size of a regular photo album and he pulled it out with a smile. The cover was a worn down red a couple shades darker from the bag he had pulled it from. A piece of circular black leather was sewn to the cover and it was engraved in the middle with a simple shape and painted blue, green, and pink. The simple art piece depicted an orb that looked similar to earth that seemed just close enough to earth that he and his teacher never questioned it… but now he wonders, a shaded hand was reaching up through the ocean, and a starfish was clinging to the top right of the orb. 

He opened the worn down book, and in the first photo he stood in the middle of the photo with Ms. Shadow giving him a side hug. Her long pink hair only drew more similarities to the Blade- which he didn’t notice until he looked at her now. She was wearing a black turtleneck, she had a plaid dark blue pencil skirt on, white calf- high socks, black mary janes, a cartoon-y set of blue fish earrings (a gift from her brother) and she wore a soft light blue cardigan that she had lent to him out of worry many, many times.

Tommy smiles as he remembered the story Ms. Shadow told him many times, even if it was heartbreaking it was a link in some ways… 

“I was a foster kid too- they found my mother’s body curled around me and my brother, she was pregnant with triplets when she died, they were long gone by the time they found us. She knew she’d die if she’d protected us, my- my older sister… i don’t… remember her now, but she was killed after my mother died. I was… really young… excuse my french but I was really fucking young, I barely understood anything except that me and my brother were in danger and I was the only one who could protect him. When they found us… they took us far away, far away from that-”

There were footsteps. Not human, and not those of the scientists or his capturers, no, these were heavier and shuffling…these were Blade’s footsteps.

-Wait so were not going to talk about Lizzie’s backstory?

-shh… we can focus on the fish lady later

-FISH LADY???

-EEEEEE

-Bedrock bros rn y’all

-why are they bros? Techno is more of his dad

-dad no blade

-DID YOU JUST CALL LIZZIE A ‘FISH LADY’???!!!

Tommy grumbled under his breath, god, these fuckers were loud. Blade made a confused chuff as he entered the cave, setting down a blanket that he had filled with… fish??? And some alien fruits too he guessed.

Chapter Text

Techno woke up in a foggy state of mind. Distantly he noticed the runt sleeping against his side, huddled in the blanket and sort of snoring but no sound was coming out. Techno squinted at the kid, perplexed, before shaking his head and standing. If the kid had some alienistic technique on snoring quietly, Techno needed to learn it. He snored like a train .

Standing up and rolling his neck, Techno huffed and decided to try to get some food. While he hadn’t gone snooping in Theseus’ backpack (that was weird, and simply uncool), he didn’t think the kid brought anything edible with him. Theseus just didn’t seem like the responsible type. 

Techno carefully moved a blanket off of Theseus to use as a makeshift bag to contain any food he might find, mindful not to wake the runt up.

-EEEEEEE

-DADNOBLADE CAUGHT IN TEH ACT YALLLL

-softnoblade

-CARINGNOBLAE

-E

-AWWW YOU GUYS LOOKIT THE CHILDD

-just woke up, whas happnin????

-omg the runt is adorable

-WELCOME TO THE STREAM!! Currently techno iis being a dad and our angel is being ADORABLE.

-PRINCE!!

-aANGELLLL

-NOO! PRINCEE

-istg not this again /j

-E

Upon hearing the voices have woken up for the day, Techno rolled his eyes at their antics, then applied a very very skillful and important technique of his that he needed to get through the day. Ignoring the voices.

-L

-DID WE JUST GET CALLED OUT LMFAOO

Especially the ones arguing about Theseus.

-OOPXDD

-uhmmm WELL U SEE……..

-mans just dragged the prince/angel chattersXDD

Stretching a bit before cracking his neck, Techno folded the blanket up and started heading out the cave, before sparing one more glance at the sleeping runt, and turning to emerge into the light. 

When he got out, the first thing he noticed was that the sky was not a rusty red color like his hometown. It was a very light sort of teal color. Techno might go as far as to say it was green. Techno knew there was some scientific meaning for that, so he stored that information in his head and packed it away for later.

Techno started walking around, checking the trees and the plants for moisturization to try and find a river. After he had been walking for a little while, he came across a lake instead. He saw it in the distance, through a few clearings of trees, and started trudging across the plains to get to it. Maybe he could catch some fish. He hoped Theseus wasn’t vegetarian.

Chapter Text

Lizzie clenched her fists as she stared at Tommy’s case file, in the teacher’s lounge. His social worker relented it to her because it was cluttering space she could use for other kids’. She knew what they meant, they didn't care. That she thought Tommy was just a bad apple that ran away, that he wasn’t as important as the other foster kids. It was deemed a cold case that was abandoned after just 2 weeks. Deemed a runaway, but Tommy wouldn’t leave for a year without at least calling once. Lizzie hated it all; cps, the police, the social worker, his foster parents, the kids who made jokes about him, the kids who joked about the missing kid poster still hanging on her classroom wall (Jimmy and Shelby stubbornly added ones to their room as well), and especially whoever the fuck took her son.

“It’ll be okay, Guppy…” She whispered, staring at the picture on the case file, “I’ll find you, no matter what or who gets in my way. Your mom is on her way.”

“Lizzie! Liz!” She heard her brother say, clearly worked up.

She turned her head to where her brother stood in the doorway. He was clearly disgruntled and his breath was heavy as looked at her, “Shubble’s having a nightmare! A bad one, she took a nap in her room after classes ended and she’s practically screaming! I can’t wake her up and-!”

Lizzie grabbed her brother’s shoulders, “It’ll be okay, I’ll wake her up.”

“But-!”

Lizzie didn’t listen, she was already expertly navigating the halls towards her colleague’s room. She heard her screams when she entered half of the building her co-workers room was set up in. If she knew the building half as well as she did then they would’ve surely been a useful tool to navigate her way towards her friend. Shubble was thrashing in her sleep, she wasn’t saying anything comprehensible besides whenever she would seem to be a bit more aware and she’d scream questions.

“WHO ARE YOU?!? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!! WHY ARE YOU BURNING IT DOWN! IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE BURNED DOWN!”

Lizzie sucked in a breath, Jimmy was right, this was a very rough nightmare. She dashed forward and held her still, keeping her grip tight but soft. She then shook her back and forth while screaming at her to wake up.

What? She said she’d wake her up, she never said anything about being good at waking people up from nightmares.

“And this is why I tried to stop you…” Jimmy muttered walking into the room.

Jokes on him though because she woke up and didn’t attack her or anything! Much better than Lizzie would’ve reacted she just went stone still as she blinked her eyes in confusion, Jimmy was beside her in a second.

“It’s okay Shrub, just a nightmare…” Jimmy said, taking one of her hands into his own.

Lizzie copied her brother's actions, “Jimmy’s right, no one is here, nothing is burning down, You’re okay.”

Jimmy glanced up at her at the comment about things burning down, she mouthed that she was screaming about it in her sleep (She may have added in a dumbass, but that was only for her to know). She sat beside her fellow teacher on the couch smiling softly.

“C-can I talk about it… the nightmare, I mean,” Shubble asked, eyes flickering between them.

Lizzie wrapped her arm around her friend's shoulder, “Of course you can…”

“We’d be kinda shit friends if we didn’t let you,” Jimmy added on, sitting at her other side.

“I- the nightmare is really weird, it starts off with a fire… there’s this man…? Creature maybe, hell could be an alien for all I know, but his face is relatively humanoid. The rest of his body is shaped like how a bipedal deer would be. And he’s wearing this crown- or at least I’m pretty sure it’s a crown and it’s got these… red tendrils and his eyes- they’re, they’re too red and his face doesn’t move in the way it’s supposed to.” She starts, her breathing shaky, “And he’s saying something but it’s- it’s not any language I know, and there’s this… bird? Bird person-creature… I dunno, He’s vaguely humanoid too- but he has wings, ummm similar to a parrot, I suppose. And he also has a red crown on- but it doesn’t look quite like what the other one’s wearing, it has the red vines too. His face… it looks like it’s supposed to mimic the look of adoration but doesn’t quite get it right.”

She takes in a sharp breath and her hands twitch uncomfortably.

“You can speak to us… but you don’t have to either,” It was something the trauma counselors she saw when she first entered the system had said to her many times, jokes on them though because she didn’t ever talk to them.

Shuble took in a deep breath, re-orienting herself, “They- they were arguing with a woman… I- I don’t think she was human, she looked more like a mushroom gnome than anything else. She looked… I dunno- kind of like me but if I was a gnome I guess. I couldn’t understand what either of  them were saying though. But… there were these tall mushrooms-like the first of them and they were- they were burning them… and they- weren't supposed to be burnt- why were they burning them?! ”

Shubble took in a deep breath, “Someone- is running away… I think I’m in their arms, I don’t- I don’t know- And they laid me down somewhere. It was a man I think…? He looked very kind… but he was like the woman, like a mushroom gnome thing. He- He looked really familiar too… almost like me, but uhh- not human. He ties a necklace around my neck and there’s this small… sting…? In my arm and something changes but I don’t know what… And, and I’m not convinced it didn’t happen because- I- I have the necklace .”

Lizzie’s eyes widened, “... could you… could you show it to us.”

Shubble was just about to answer when Mr. Sausage (Whose name was the attack of many immature teens) peeked his head through the door, “Is everything alright in here, I thought I heard something.”

“Oh, yeah everything’s good, Sh-” Lizzie started

Shubble cut her off, “My phone speaker peaked some audio, that's all.” 

“Alright, if you say so, see you next monday.” He said, smiling warmly as he left.

“... Why’d you lie, Shrub…?” Lizzie whispered after a minute.

Shubble’s hands shook, “Couldn’t you see… His eyes… They were too red. I- the vines, they were on his earrings”

His eyes were too red, weren’t they ?

Chapter Text

“That should be enough to eat for today,” Techno sighed, brushing off his scarred hands on his pants. He picked up the makeshift basket he made out of the reeds in the lake, it was filled with the three fish he had caught.

Or at least he assumed they were fish.

Nevertheless, Techno made his way back to the cave where he hoped Theseus still was. The kid was kinda shifty, and Tevhno wouldn’t put it past him to somehow get out of the cave despite his injuries.

About halfway back to the cave, Techno realized he would have to come back to the lake to get some more food, so he went a quarter way back to the lake to start making a trail before realizing he was basically a piglin GPS and literally didn’t need the trail anyways.

BUT THEN he remembered that Theseus might need to come to the lake as well, so he huffed and went all the way back to the lake.

-dadnoblade

-brothernoblade

-AWWWWW, HE REALLY DOES CARE

-wait you guys hows the kid doin rn?? Has anyone checked on him?

-oh yeahh, i think some people went to his stream to keep him company

-kk gotchu, good to know though now i wanna go as well lolXD

Thankfully, due to Techno being a piglin, his enhanced strength made it easier to carve out a trail leading from the lake to the cave. In the end, when he finally came back to camp, Techno was sweating like a hog (pun intended), but it was worth it to see the elation on Theseus’ face, though quickly smothered because obviously the teen had to be ‘cool’.

Techno smiled fondly and showed Theseus the fish he’d caught, and the runt looked overly joyed. After who knows how much time the kid had spent in the science lab, who knew how long it had been since Theseus had eaten real food?

-WAY TOO LONG

-techno, have you seen the kid? He’s so skinny my Asian mom would have a stroke seeing hm smhh

-FEED THE PRINCE

-LMAOOO not the Asian mom

-Erhm, acthully, hes an ANGEL

-PRINCEEE

-ANGELL

-nuh uh

-BOTH OF YALL SHUT UP

-can we go back to admiring how underrated the Asian mom comment was??

Techno sighed. The voices just wouldn’t give him a break.

Chapter Text

Blade was trying to start a fire.

Key word: trying.

Tommy had no idea how long it had been since Blade had come back to the cave with a basket full of fish, but he did know that it should not take an accomplished piglin this long to create a fire. Or maybe they didn’t need to because their planet was always warm. Nevertheless, after a few minutes of absolute torture watching Blade struggle with doing anything with two sticks, Tommy got up to find some rocks.

-yess, show him how its done

-OUR ANGEL FR WOKE UP TODAY AND CHOSE GIRLBOSS

-i think you mean prince lol

-omfg yall its too early for this

-uhh NO, i meant our ANGEL

-ANGEL SOUNDS STUPID PRINCE IS WAY BETTER BRU

-ur face sounds stupid, angel is a perfectly good name

-HEY GUYS, I LOVE DEBATING AS MUCH AS THE NEXT PERSON. But shouldn’t we be focused on making sure THE RUNT doesn’t get kidnapped or smth?

-oh yeah

-fair point man

Blade barely spared him a glance, fully focused on starting a fire he’d never start, and Tommy headed out to a little area of the woods he got kindling from earlier.

Walking around for a little, Tommy spotted some rocks that might help him start a fire. He picked them up and started heading back to the cave. When he got back Blade was still trying to light the fire.

-omg the amount of sass this kid has is CRAZYY

-AKLSJDF LMAO THE RUNT IS JUST DRAGGING HIM

Shoving him aside, Tommy squatted down in front of the pile of dry leaves and kindling and started striking his two stones together. Blade let out a huff of annoyance, then figured out what Tommy was doing and instead watched in silence. Eventually, Tommy got a spark, and in a few minutes there was a nice fire to cook fish above.

Blade looked absolutely flabbergasted. Ha.

Tommy sat back down next to his backpack, like it was just another ordinary Tuesday (or maybe it was Wednesday, Tommy could never keep track), and Blade rolled his eyes and grabbed a fish out of his basket to cook.

Laying down for a quick nap, Tommy smiled as he imagined how good real food would taste after so many years of bland lab food.

-lmao imagine if he burns the food though

-omg we cant let that happen OUR PRINCE NEEDS HIS DELECTABLES

-our angel is abt to fall asleep and that is THE ONLY reason im not arguing about his name rn

-i wonder if balde will give us a full fish or we’ll split half

-lol lets hope he cooks better than the british

-balde???? :’DD

-OMG YOU DID NOT

-NOT CHAT DRAGGING THE BRITISH LMAOOOOO

Chapter Text

Techno was turning some salmon over a fire. The fire Theseus made.

It was quite embarrassing actually.

Techno recalled the tedious hour he’d spent trying to light a measly fire, and Theseus getting up, finding a few rocks, and accomplishing what Techno couldn’t accomplish in tens of minutes in A FEW. SECONDS.

-Bruhhhhh

-lol get schooled

-Nerdnoblade but he isn’t even smart

-Omg yall stop bullying the poor thingXDDD

Techno huffed and kept spinning the fish. He had found two sticks and stuck some fish mouth-first onto them. They were almost done cooking, and Techno was reminded of roasting Nethermellows above lava on his home planet.

He would pick them and bring his sister to a lava lake near their family’s house every weekend.

Techno misses his little sister.

..{o0o}..

“Thanks, Blade,” Tommy muttered, knowing Blade wouldn’t understand his words anyway. He heard Blade huff, and out of the corner of his eye, saw him start to eat the fish on his stick. Following his example, Tommy nibbled cautiously at the meat, and after realizing it actually tasted good and had flavor, started CHOWING DOWN.

-AWWWWGHH THE POOR BABY yall this is prolly the first good food hes had in AGESS

-looks like Blade didn’t butcher the cooking after all chat

-omg wait guys look at the look blade is giving us rn

-XDDDD OH NAUR HES SO DISGUSTED

-mans rlly said bOMBASTIC sIDEEYE

Wondering what the voices in his head were talking about, Tommy glanced at Blade again and realized he was looking at Tommy as if he were eating his food like and animal.

Then Tommy looked down at what he was doing.

Oh. He was eating like an animal.

Whoops.

Chapter Text

Blade had gotten enough fish to last him and Tommy at least one or two more days.

HOWEVER.

If Tommy ate the rest of the fish while Blade was sleeping, it wasn’t his problem. And if the reason for that was because Tommy hasn’t eaten anything but disgusting lab food for two whole years, then that also wasn’t his problem.

And that was how Tommy got caught licking the fish oils off his fingers while Blade woke up from his slumber like the most graceful Disney princess. Which is to say Techno snored LOUDLY, woke up with his hair in a giant mess, and when he stretched, about four millions bones cracked with a sound rivaling the explosions that wiped out that one planet Tommy never paid attention to in history class three years ago.

Once Blade had blinked the sleep out of his eyes, he noticed Tommy and gave him the most deadpan stare Tommy had ever seen.

And Tommy, like the big man he was, licked his fingers one more time to cleanse his hands of the fishy oils once and for all.

Gosh, he was just so bloody well-mannered. What a king he was.

..{o0o}..

Theseus had the worst manners Techno had ever seen.

Techno woke up from a much needed nap, ready to eat a bit of fish and start a nice, productive day, and instead was faced with what he first thought was a nether-raccoon; Theseus had apparently taken it upon himself to completely destroy their food stash, and though Techno had gotten enough food to last them at least a few more days, he found himself needing to go on another trip to the lake if he wanted to have breakfast today.

Techno, ever the quick learner, started a fire using Theseus’ method, and soon enough it was a few degrees warmer.

Techno huffed and turned to look at a wall of their cave.

It was quiet except for the crackling of the fire and the occasional gust of wind that slipped through the entrance, rustling the leaves outside. Techno poked at the embers with a stick. He sighed deeply, staring down at the empty fish basket beside him.

He stared up at the uneven ceiling of the cave, twirling his unnaturally pink hair between his fingers. Techno glanced over at Theseus—he was staring right back at him, an evil little grin on his face.

-LMAOOO HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID

-the signature evil gremlin smirk

Techno rolled his eyes, to which the runt stuck his tongue out.

Techno sighed and stood up, brushing off his pants. Theseus, seemingly alarmed, sat up with a confused look on his face.
“Kid…” Techno grumbled, despite knowing the runt wouldn’t understand. He gestured to the mouth of the cave—his hands moved in clumsy motions, trying to convey what he couldn’t say with words. “Stay here. I’ll go catch more fish.”

Theseus’ eyes flicked to Techno’s face for a second, but he didn’t answer. His brow furrowed slightly as he tugged at the edge of his blanket, as though unsure of what Techno was trying to convey. Theseus seemed to want to come with Techno, and even though his leg should have had some time to heal, Techno didn’t think he could make it all the way to the lake and back without reinjuring his leg somehow.

He rubbed his face in frustration. It seemed it would be a long time until Techno could go get his fish.

..{o0o}..

Blade woke up about an hour ago, and decided he wanted to go get more fish to eat, for some reason. What kind of wanker needed to eat?

-NATURAL COMDEIAN HE IS

-what a funny lad

-Oml they’re both so sarcastic together they’ll make a nuclear explosion

-what’s making a nuclear explosion is my brain registering that no one has fought over angel or prince at all this stream

Anyhow, Blade needed to go get delectables, and Tommy apparently needed to stay in the cave. Honestly, Tommy had no idea why he wasn’t allowed to go fishing with Blade, he was treating him like a crippled animal.

Hopefully when he came back, Blade would’ve gotten a larger quantity of food so Tommy could eat more. He was a growing, big man.

Chapter Text

Techno set off, empty makeshift basket in hand, set on bringing back more food than he did the last time he went fishing. Maybe he could make a spear to make fishing faster; Techno trusted his strength and fast reflexes enough that he could probably get more fishing stacking with a spear than having to wait patiently with a fishing pole.

The fishing pole he made was actually a pretty good one for a makeshift pole though, so Techno would probably save it just in case.

Walking down the path he made, Techno shielded his eyes from the sun that was almost directly above his head, signifying that it was almost noon. Had Techno really slept that long? He didn’t have any potatoes growing to measure exactly how long he slept, but Techno knew that this was definitely the most he’s slept in years.

After a small hike, Techno reached the lake, where he found a three and a half foot stick that he deemed suitable. Then he took his hidden pocket knife, plopped himself down on the ground, and started fashioning himself a spear.

Chapter Text

Thanks to Techno’s enhanced piglin strength, his spear was sharpened to a point and smoothed down in just a few minutes. Techno tossed it from hand to hand, testing the spear’s weight and where it was best to grip.

Techno then threw it at a nearby tree, testing the spear’s durability. It caught on something on the tree, going down, and Techno ran over to see what got impaled and after rummaging around in the bushes underneath the tree, he found his makeshift spear, along with a strange green fruit the same color as the tree’s leaves. Confused, Techno looked up, having not remembered seeing any fruit the first time he was at the lake.

After aggressively glaring at a tree for a few moments, Techno let out a surprised huff as he spotted a lumpy shape around the same size as the fruit currently impaled on his spear. Eyes darting around, Techno’s eyes focused on the other trees around him, and he more and more green fruit came into light. There were so many fruits, they could probably keep even Theseus satisfied for a while.

At this thought, Techno was faintly reminded of an old Chinese myth he heard about the monkey king eating all the godly peaches in an orchard he was supposed to guard. And by all, Techno meant all. The monkey king had been tasked by some emperor to guard an important peach orchard and make sure no one stole any peaches, and the monkey king instead ate all the fruit.

Peach eating monkeys aside, Techno thought it might be a good idea to bring Theseus back some nutrition, so he plucked a few fruits off the tree and put them in his basket, after taking one for himself to munch on as he headed to the edge of the lake to catch some fish.

..{o0o}..

-CHILD WAKE UPPP

-hey lil angel prince, the blade is back

Tommy blinked blearily, sitting up from his interrupted nap. He looked over to the mouth of the cave, where a silhouette of a broad shouldered figure was slowly but surely making its way towards him with two filled to the brim baskets in one hand, and a long stick in the other.

Tommy rubbed at his eyes with his grimy hands to rub away the sleep, and waved at Blade.

When Blade reached the cave, Tommy stood to help him with the baskets.

“When did we get another basket?” Tommy asked himself aloud. Blade let out a questioning chuff, and Tommy looked at him, realizing he assumed Tommy was talking to him. Tommy smiled and shook his head, and continued to help set the baskets down next to the fire to cook.

“Nevermind.”

Chapter Text

Tommy bit into the strange green fruit Blade brought back with him. It looked kind of like a spiky mango-strawberry, and has the same texture and taste of an apple.

He waited for Blade to be done cooking the fish above the fire, relishing the idea of sinking his teeth into the tasty meal.

..{o0o}..

The runt was gnawing at the green fruit with the power of a thousand suns while Techno was cooking fish. He missed having someone to talk to.

He missed Phil, and Niki. He missed his home on Nether.

But feelings and longing were for the weak. Techno took a deep breath, rolled his shoulders back, held his head high, and continued cooking the fish.

Chapter Text

As Tommy ate, he wondered how different things would be if he could talk to Blade.

He wondered if there was any way to communicate with him.

-is anyone gonna tell him

-ummmm child..

-kid, charades???

-or maybe even just drawing in the dirt with a stick

Oh. Duh.

..{o0o}..

Techno watched as Theseus abruptly stood up and left, trusting the runt could take care of himself for a little while.

Picking at his tusks, Techno wondered if there was civilization nearby. He should try to look for a village soon, maybe get Theseus a new set of clothes, because Ender knows he needs some. In the few days the kid and Techno escaped the lab, the runt’s clothes had gotten torn, scraped, and had blood and dirt everywhere. They were basically unsalvageable.

Techno started trying to untangle his hair, and kept at it until Theseus came back with a wand-sized stick. Techno paid him no mind until the runt sat right next to him, nudged his shoulder, and started drawing something in the dirt with his stick.

Techno squinted, then realized Theseus was trying to communicate with him. He sat up, attention immediately caught, eyes laser-focused on the lines Theseus was making in the ground.

After the kid was done drawing, Techno was able to make out a small stick figure waving ‘hi’. He smiled, turned to Theseus, and physically waved back. Theseus beamed, and held out the stick for Techno to hold, which he took.

The two spent the rest of the night drawing funny little characters to communicate with each other, joyfully smiling through it all.

That was, until Theseus drew a crude drawing of something, and Techno swiped the stick from him and hit him upside the head while simultaneously kicking at the ground to rid it of the drawing.

..{o0o}..

Tommy woke up the next morning after the productive few hours of communication with Blade. He sat up to find the previously mentioned, and saw Blade hunched over a few feet away, drawing something in the ground.

Yawning and rubbing his eyes, Tommy got up and crawled over to where Blade was, grabbing a green fruit on the way. An intricate drawing was on the ground, and after looking at and deciphering it, Tommy nodded at Blade, then got his only jacket, giving it to Techno to help on his hopefully short trip.

..{o0o}..

Blade woke up early to draw out a message for Theseus. A plan for the day to get things actually done.

In his inability to sleep, Blade remembered where they were. Which planet they had crashed onto. He and Phil landed on this planet long ago, a pit stop on one of their old adventures.

If he remembered correctly, there was supposed to be a town only about a mile from where they were, and an old friend of his lived there.

They met some time ago, first as enemies. But Techno, being Techno, eventually gained his respect.

It was time to meet a silent, old friend of his.

Chapter Text

Tommy watched as Blade walked out of the cave and down the path. If he deciphered his drawings correctly, Blade should be back in at most 3 days, so Tommy would have to go get food by himself in that time.

Blade had left Tommy with the handmade spear for self-defense and fishing, and they hadn’t encountered any living beings in the time they’d been on this planet, so Tommy wasn’t too concerned about his own safety.

Even though Blade was way more capable than Tommy, Tommy still found himself worrying that something might happen to Blade while he was visiting the town he said was nearby. Tommy still didn’t understand how Blade knew the town was there, but he didn’t understand a lot of things about Blade, so Tommy just decided not to question it. After Blade’s little silhouette disappeared from view, Tommy headed back inside the cave and planned to procrastinate the rest of the day away.

..{o0o}..

After waving goodbye to Theseus, because thankfully waving is still a universal thing and everyone understands it, Techno

set off in the opposite direction of the lake, even though it would make sense to go towards the lake because small villages usually need to be near bodies of water. Techno went with the feeling in his gut that said civilization was elsewhere, and his gut feelings were almost always right, so Techno was in moderately high spirits as he made the trek across grass and dirt, through trees and bushes.

By the time the sun was directly overhead, Techno could see a moderately large town on higher ground than he was on, the only reason Techno could see it through the treetops, as he was half way through a forest.

Thirty minutes later, Techno had hiked up the hill without too much of a fuss thanks to his natural enhanced piglin-strength. Techno approached the edge of the town, and started approaching people and asking around for his friend.

“Hello there, miss. Have you seen a deer hybrid called Callahan around these parts?”

Chapter Text

The fifth person Techno asked about Callahan’s face lit up in recognition. Thankfully, they spoke common unlike two of the four other people Techno approached.

The strider hybrid who supposedly knew Callahan brought Techno back to her place, and didn’t look like a serial killer, so Techno didn’t feel the need to take out his backup knife yet, but being the paranoid person that he was, Techno wouldn’t hesitate to throw a few punches if she tried to pull anything,

-PARNOIDNOBLADE

-we love a paranoid king<33333

-WHOEVER SHE IS GET US TO CALLA FAST SO WE CAN GET BACK TO THE ANGEL

-you mean prince??

-no actually, they mean ANGEL.

-aww, i knew this would come back to haunt us eventually

The strider hybrid introduced herself as Artemis, and said she had something she needed to deliver to Callahan, but hadn’t gotten the chance to yet. Apparently, Callahan lived past the sketchy part of town, so Artemis needed to wait for her brother to come with her if she wanted to deliver her package to Callahan, but she’d pay Techno some credits if he delivered it for her.

Agreeing, Techno was given a small wrapped box after being quizzed about Callahan by Artemis to make sure Techno knew him. Artemis gave Techno twenty credits, some directions, and sent him on his way to Callahan’s place.

Apparently, the neighborhood Artemis was unable to go through was nicknamed ‘Mantopia’ after the former rebranded planet Manburg. Manburg was a planet formerly named L’manburg. There were A LOT of political scandals on that planet, and might or might not have been involved in some of them. However, the planet blew up after it’s former original president went insane.

One of Manburg’s moons, Pogtopia, turned out to be the base of the original L’manburg government, but despite that, it didn’t get blown up in the aftermath and is just abandoned, said to be bad luck.

Due to Techno’s relation to the aforementioned Manburg, he was hesitant to go through Mantopia, but he’d already gotten the coins from Artemis, and was eager to see Callahan again after all this time.

Mantopia only lived up to its name fifty percent of the way. It definitely wasn’t a utopia, but there were a lot of men there. Men and women and children, and everything in between. Some were walking around peacefully, but most were either fighting, limping around in drunken dazes, or looked homeless.

In fact, on the way to Callahan’s house, a lizard hybrid, seemingly drunk, tried to stab Techno. Techno disarmed him, pocketed his knife, and upon seeing that the lizard alien had just about passed out, left him on the street.

Techno even got mistaken for a girl because of his long hair, and got cat-called once or twice by groups of older-than-middle aged people.

After avoiding many sketchy alleyways and eye contact with anyone, the streets started getting cleaner and the people started looking less cluttered and Techno figured he had passed Mantopia.

According to Artemis’ directions, Callahan’s house wasn’t far away.

A few minutes later, Techno found himself staring up at an average looking house with a small, vintage-looking red mailbox. He didn’t see a doorbell, and in fact, Techno wasn’t even completely sure this planet had doorbells, so he just knocked on the door.

There was a muffled thumping sound, which Techno assumed to be Callahan rushing to get the door. Sure enough, a few seconds later, the door opened and Techno was greeted by a reindeer hybrid with stitches on his mouth.

“Hey, Callahan,” Techno smiled, giving a small wave.

“Oh my Ender, hi Techno, great to see you again!” Callahan signed back. “Come on in, make yourself at home! We’ve got so much to catch up on.”

Techno stepped inside, taking off his boots at the door as per piglin custom, and offered Artemis’ package to Callahan.

“Do you know someone named Artemis?” She wanted me to give you this,” Techno said.

“Yes, I know her. She was actually one of the moderators for our big fight way back when we were still enemies, heh.” Callahan and Techno spent the next hour laughing about their former rivalry in a hypixel tournament, leading to Callahan eventually getting beaten by Techno and Techno eventually gaining Callahan’s utmost loyalty and respect.

“Oh, those were fun times,” Callahan signed. “I still remember the time you beat up all those guys from the planet Manburg and noticed me watching you.”

“And I was like ‘ooh, look at that guy over there, does he want some of this?’ And you totally like, backed up, super shocked.” Techno recounted laughing. Callahan smiled, corners of his eyes creasing, remembering that hilarious day. “Well, I should go now, get back to my, uh, house,” Techno said.

Callahan didn’t need to know about his living situation, because then, being the nice spirit he is, he’d offer Techno to stay at his place, and Techno couldn’t very much abandon Theseus and didn’t feel like explaining everything to Callahan.

Looking out the window, Techno saw that it was almost night time though. Maybe staying at Cal’s for just one night wouldn’t be too bad.

Sure enough, Callahan also saw that it was late out, and convinced Techno to stay the night instead of making the trip back to his ‘house’, and Techno got settled into Callahan’s guest bedroom.

As he lay in bed, Techno debated on what types of foods he could buy in town with the money he got from Artemis.

Or maybe he would buy Theseus a cloak.

Chapter Text

Techno woke up to the sound of a cheerful piano being played somewhere in the house. He yawned, and sat up to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

As he stretched, he realized that this was the best he had slept since…well, since crash landing onto this planet with Theseus.

-yeahh, a nice mattress after a week of Rick’s and dirt can do that for ya

-ASK CALLAHAN IF HE CAN DONATE A BLANKET OR TWO

-did anyone else know cal could play the piano????????

-E

Techno got out of bed, yawning, and he took his hair out of the braid he put it in before he went to sleep. One of his older friends (not Cal) used to braid his hair a lot, and eventually started teaching Techno how to braid. He found it useful for keeping his hair untangled or out of his eyes.

Lightly combing through his hair with his hands, Techno drifted towards the source of the music. He sometimes listened to classical, due to him taking up violin many years ago, and could recognize the song being played. Humming along, Techno eventually found Callahan in a cozy little room he hadn’t seen before. There was a throw blanket on a sizable couch next to a baby grand that took up most of the room.

There, sat at the piano, back facing towards Techno, was Callahan, fingers flowing smoothly along the black and white keys. Techno top-toed over to the couch, sinking into its plush comfort, and closed his eyes, lost in the song.

The thunderous chords and fast trills reminded Techno of the brutal yet nimble beauty of the art of fighting. Techno would love to feel the hilt of a sword again, and slash and jab it through the air, or through a body, to hear the bodies dropping around him-

-BLOOD

-BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GODD

-E

-GIVE US BLOOD

-EEEEEE

-BLOODD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

-EE

-BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GODDDD

The screams cutting through the air, and the blood gushing around him, the blood, the blood-

A light tap on his shoulder. Techno looked up.

“Techno? You alright?”

Chapter Text

“Do you remember how we first met?” Techno asked. Nodding his head, Callahan smiled and sat down next to him on the arm of the couch.

“Would a recounting of that story calm you down? I remember you always liked stories, especially your Greek mythologies,” Callahan signed.

“That would be nice,” Techno responded.

“I’ll go get you some breakfast to eat as you listen then. Stay here.” And Techno was alone with his thoughts. He sat fiddling with a couch button for a minute or two, then Callahan returned with breakfast and handed Techno the plate.

“Thanks,” Techno said. Then he glanced at the plate, and almost laughed. He looked back at Callahan and raised his eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?” Callahan asked. Then he looked back at the plate of breakfast he had given Techno, and realized.

There was bacon on that plate.

Chapter Text

WE ARE SO SORRY WE DISAPPEARED.

We lost access to all of our devices with any connection to our co-author and our fic on them. Currently, we're going through and figuring out the story our co-author is telling as it is a bit different from what we originally planned.

We sincerely apologize for disappearing like we did, honestly. We never meant to and we were constantly anxious and apologetic for leaving our co-author alone w/ no warning. 

We just received access to this account again.

Somethings have changed since our unwanted hiatus and if our co-author does not want us to continue this fic then we will not. It's more their story then ours now and we have other stories we can work on instead.

On the other hand, we'd love to continue this story and explore the new directions it's going (Or maybe write the lizzie-centric book? That could definately be fun).

All in all, co-author, feel free to reach out through email the story docs, or ao3 (we still cannot use our phone, sadly).

Chapter Text

Techno stood in the queue for Hypixel duels, waiting to sign up for the 1v1 tournaments being hosted for a week. People from all planets were there, as this tournament was rumored to be one that went down in universal history.

Eyeing his opponents, Techno saw a few scraggly looking dudes, some big hulking brutes, and some average looking guys with threatening weapons.

Techno looked back at the line ahead of him, and seeing that he probably wouldn’t reach the front immediately, he went into analyzing mode. The bulky looking dudes all wore their strengths on their sleeves. Heavy swings were their only advantage, and Techno knew how to deal with that. The average guys were a bit more unpredictable. Their skills and weapons could vary, and it all just came down to who was the better fighter.

The scrawny guys though, they were who Techno was wary of. They obviously couldn’t expect to win a tournament based on strength, which meant ninety-nine percent of the lanky guys relied on trickery, magic, or something in between. One time, in his early fighting days, Techno got challenged to a friendly duel by a scrawny at a convention, and almost got scammed out of all his stuff because the scrawny used some teleportation magic to confuse him.

The scrawny apologized endlessly afterwards, which surprised Techno, and upon a closer inspection, Techno found that this strange lanky alien was a child. Techno huffed away the scrawny’s apologies, nicknamed him Oreo, and sent him off with a bag of gold nuggets Techno always kept on him. The scrawny basically burst into tears and hugged Techno, to which Techno awkwardly patted the guys head, muttering that he wasn’t good with hugs.

While Techno’s first encounter with a scrawny was a moderately good one, the people in this tournament were bloodthirsty tricksters who would stop at nothing to win the tournament trophy.

Looking around, Techno spotted one guy in particular who looked like a threat. He had reindeer horns, and was showing off shapeshifting abilities to a few other people waiting in line. Eyes narrowing, Techno made a mental note to watch out for that one.

..{o0o}..

Techno made it through the first few rounds with ease, making it through the first and second brackets he was put through.

He was sharpening his trusty sword the night before the round of sixteen (one round before the quarter finals, where there were sixteen fighters left). Techno was becoming a bit of a fan favorite, earning himself a few custom chants. They were the result of him being caught on camera muttering ‘E’ and ‘blood for the blood god’ during fights, when he slips up and lets the voices take control. Techno always regains control though, never allowing the voices to fully possess him. He wasn’t that desperate yet.

Almost done, Techno thought. After tomorrow, he’d move onto the quarterfinals, then semifinals, and eventually the final stage of the tournament.

Looking at the clock, Techno set down his sword and decided to rest up. He needed to be in his best mindset tomorrow.

..{o0o}..

After fighting through the round of sixteen, the quarterfinals, and the semifinals last week, Techno found himself facing one more fighter, the final thing standing between him and the trophy. The title of winner to Hypixel’s biggest tournament was Techno’s final hope to silence, or at least decrease the amount of yelling in his head.

The opponent behind the doors of the arena was who Techno had to defeat, and because Techno was a bit of a tryhard, he read up on his opponent. His name was Callahan, and he was the deer hybrid Techno noticed in line before the tournament even started. Techno was right in believing the Callahan guy had a shape shifting ability, but it was a pretty minor one. Callahan was somewhere in between scrawny and average, and so it made sense to Techno when he read that Callahan used a combination of trickery and sword play.

“Our first competitor, from the green planet, Callahan!”

Techno rolls his shoulders and adjusts his grip on his sword as he hears the announcers and the roar of the crowd.

“And our second competitor, from the red planet, Techno!”

The double doors open and Techno is temporarily blinded by the sudden sunlight and harsh brightness of the sandy ground. Chants of ‘Blood for the blood god’ erupt as Techno walks into the arena.

-BLOOD!!

-BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GODD

-EE

-BLOODD

-EEEEEEEEEEEEE

-BLOOD GOD!!

-BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

The voices in Techno’s head and the sound of the audience mixes together, and Techno tunes them both out and focuses on the opponent in front of him.

Callahan.

Techno didn’t know what it was, but ever since the first day in the dorms where all the competitors stayed, Callahan had taken one look at him, and decided they were now enemies. Callahan always cut Techno off while he was walking, and more than once Techno caught Callahan glaring at him.

Even now, as they slowly walked toward each other into the big circle that represented what was on bounds, Callahan was glaring at Techno like he had just personally offended his entire family and all that they stood for.

A final trumpet had been blown somewhere above the arena, and the battle started.

Chapter Text

“And you eventually beat me, despite my best efforts,” Callahan grinned. “After that, during the week-long celebrations, I was pretty frightened of you.”

“I remember that,” Techno laughed. “I caught you staring at me one time, and I was like ‘does this guy want some of this?’ And you completely fled.”

“Oh please, I did nothing of the sort. I simply walked away,” Callahan rolled his eyes.

“Sure, sure,” Techno smiled. “Anyways, I should go, Cal. It was nice seeing you.”

After that, Callahan gave Techno some food for the road and a fuzzy blanket, claiming that it was gonna get colder soon. Techno made note of that, and decided he wanted to be up and off the planet when that happened.

He didn’t tell Cal anything about Theseus for reasons even he didn’t know, but planned to get a coat for Theseus on the way back with the money he earned.

Speaking of, Techno wondered how Theseus was doing right now. He said he would be away for a few days, but Techno didn’t really trust the kid to take care of himself at all, and was eager to get back to the cave to make sure the runt didn’t freeze to death while he was away.

Saying his goodbyes to Callahan, Techno made his way back to the main part of town, set on going to some clothing shop he slightly recalls seeing.

Chapter Text

“Woah! Oof,”

Tommy grunted in pain as he fell through a bush under the tree he was climbing. He was trying to reach the last ripe fruit, the highest one that got all the sun.

Grumbling, he tumbled out of the bush, twigs in his hair and mud on his face. Tommy swung himself back around. No fruit dunks on him and gets away. Especially not a green one.

Backing up, Tommy eyed the fruit on the tree. This time, he’d get a running start, jump up the tree, snatch the fruit, drop, and roll. Smiling to himself, having already gotten the fruit in his head, Tommy braced and charged towards the tree.

He tripped over a rock on his way there and crashed into the bushes again.

Chapter Text

The bell chimed as Techno swung open the door to a small hole-in-the-wall shop with a cute light pink exterior. Despite the shop’s obvious pink theme, the clothing inside had a wide range of colors and styles, all perfectly organized.

“Hello, welcome to Tina’s Outlet, how may I help you?”

Techno turned, startled, and was greeted with the sight of a small woman with pale skin and small horns of the same color. Glancing at her nametag, Techno figured this was Tina, the owner of the shop.

“I was wondering if you sold cloaks here?” Techno chuffed awkwardly.

“Of course! Right this way,” Tina responded. She led Techno over to a deeper section of the store where a small collection of cloaks hung, then left to tend to another customer.

Techno browsed through the collection, eventually picking out a simple brown leather with a nice fasten. He brought it over to the counter for Tina to check out, and used the extra money to buy some food at the farmers market around the corner.

It was about mid afternoon when Techno finally started back down the trail leading to his and Theseus’ cave.

Chapter Text

-HES BACK

-WAKE UP ANGEL

-omg wait is blade backk

-BEDROCK BROS AGAIN POGG

Tommy slowly grumbled himself into consciousness, complaining about the seemingly never ending cacophony of voices that rang around in his head. He assumed the voices were talking about Blade, and that he was back, and thank goodness because Tommy was about to perish from boredom.

Standing up, Tommy shivered in the cold morning air and approached the mouth of the cave to squint at the approaching pink-headed figure that was becoming larger and larger.

“Blade!” Tommy shouted happily, waving. The silhouette waved back, and Tommy ran back into the cave to get Blade a fruit. After Tommy-doesn’t-know how long of a journey, Blade was bound to be a bit hungry.

When Blade got back to the cave and accepted the green fruit Tommy held out for him, he immediately grabbed a stick and sat on the ground, drawing something to communicate.

Tommy sat down next to him, immediately talking about his time alone, despite the language barrier. No barrier has stopped Tommy Danger Innit before!

Tommy talked about stopping their fire from spreading to the forest after some harsh winds blew by, and about finally being able to pick the best green fruit on the tree after hours of toiling away in the sun.

“That green fruit didn’t even make it back to the cave,” Tommy shook his head in mock mournfulness.” A finger tapped on his shoulder, interrupting his theatrics, and Tommy turned to see what Blade had been working on this whole time.

Chapter Text

“So I can sneak you into the town with me and we can visit a place my friend recommended, which might sell a sort of device that will allow us to communicate with each other,” Techno finished. He was gesturing to the drawings he had made while verbally explaining his plan to the kid. By the looks of it, Theseus more or less understood what was happening.

Techno was about to continue explaining his plan, but was interrupted by a strange growling sound. It took him an embarrassing amount of time to figure out that growling sound was coming from him. Theseus snickered into his hand, and Techno rolled his eyes and showed him the universally understood middle finger. Theseus cackled again, and reached behind his back to throw a green fruit at Techno.

Techno shook his head and pushed the fruit back, to a very confused child, but then Techno reached into a bag concealed under his cloak and pulled out the goods he scored from that farmers market back in the town.

Theseus’ eyes immediately widened at the sight of so much food, and Techno grinned, handing over the stash to the feral kid.

As Techno watched the runt gobble up some strawberries, and his eyes saddened as he remembered that Theseus hadn’t eaten actually prepared food since…Techno didn’t even know. The science lab food could barely be qualified as such, and they had been surviving off of fruit juvenile-y cooked fish since crashing onto this planet.

When they went into town, Techno promised himself he would take Tommy out to eat somewhere good.

Chapter Text

“I still don’t understand why I need to be under this cloak,” Tommy grumbled. Yes, he was aware Blade would not understand him. Yes, he was going to keep complaining.

Blade shoved the hood farther down Tommy’s head, and he decided perhaps he would continue his complaining mentally. He tried to convey his confusion to Blade when being offered the cloak, but all he got was a poorly drawn drawing of what seemed to be Tommy, and an arrow pointing to his head (or his eyes. Or his hair. Does it really matter?).

Currently, they were walking down a nice little cobblestone pathway. Blade seemed a bit excited about where they were going, and he was ushering Tommy with loads of eagerness. In fact, Tommy should call him Big E.

Nah. That sounds weird.

“Ack!” Tommy exclaimed as Techno pushed his head down further. Tommy rolled his eyes, and focused on the ground. Cobblestone really was a great rock. The best of the natural materials.

So in awe of the cobblestone roads, Tommy didn’t notice he was about to crash into a pole until Big E (oh hell no that was horrible) grabbed him and yanked him back.

..{o0o}..

Techno swore he was going to kill Theseus.

First, the kid kept looking up while they were walking. Most people on this planet weren’t that nosy, but all of them did not take kindly to humanistic creatures, especially ones with blonde hair, but that was a story for another time.

Second, Theseus kept complaining under his breath. Techno usually didn’t take too kindly to children in the first place, so it was a miracle he took a liking to Theseus in the first place, but the main reason he didn’t like children was because they were just. So. Whiny.

And if all that hadn’t been enough, the clumsy runt had to go and crash into a pole. Luckily, Techno pulled him back before he could actually make contact, but Theseus’ hood slipped off for a split second, and Techno could see an old ocelot hybrid squinting at them in the corner of his eye.

Perhaps this was too much of a hassle to go through. They were almost there, and Techno really never was one to quit.

Chapter Text

“Hello there, miss, can I get you some water to drink as you look at the menu?”

Techno turned, confused as to who the waiter was talking to. He and Theseus were seated in a far corner of a nice picnic-themed brunch spot, and as per Techno’s request, Theseus kept his hood on.

“Oh, my mistake sir, I didn’t realize…”

“It’s fine,” Techno said politely.

“It’s just that women usually have long hair,” the waiter continued. “So naturally, you know, I assumed-”

“No, really, it’s fine.” Techno said through a fake forced smile. What an asshole.

-ohhhh my god a homophobe.

-WE NEED THAT WAITERS BLOOD

-BLOOD

The waiter frowned, but noticed the red glint in Techno’s eyes and the fangs in his faux smile, and hurried away. As soon as the waiter was out of sight, Techno dropped his smile and rolled his eyes to look at Theseus, seemed to notice the hostile energy Techno was giving off, and was staring wide-eyed with a slight smile on his face.

“A jerk,” Techno smirked. “Don’t worry about it.”

..{o0o}..

Tommy had noticed when the waiter and Techno started being passive aggressive. There was just a vibe you could feel when people were like that.

Growing up in the foster system, getting moved from one house to another, you learned how to read people’s body language, and from what he could tell, the waiter most likely misgendered Blade because of his long hair. What an asshole.

-CHAT HOLD UPPP..

-guys did they just think the same thoughts

-BEDROCK BROS MY BELOVED omgggggGGG

Ignoring the voices in his head, as they regularly just spoke rubbish, Tommy continued thinking.

A lot could be said about how Tommy was as a person. Confrontational was definitely one of them.

And so, when the waiter came back to take their orders, and yet again treated Blade with what Tommy saw as disrespect, Tommy spoke out.

“You’re being a real dickhead, you know that right? Stop talking to him like that, you twat.”

Chapter Text

“Theseus sit down,” Techno said quietly. Obviously, the kid didn’t listen. He couldn’t understand. 

Theseus kept talking, and Techno glanced at the waiter. The waiter was frozen, but wouldn’t be for long. Techno prayed he didn’t recognize which language Theseus was speaking, or else things were about to get messy. 

What Techno needed to do right now, though, was deescalate the situation and make sure Theseus kept his hood on. The waiter looked pretty hostile, and Techno knew there weren’t rules against fighting on this planet…

..{o0o}..

The homophonic waiter Tommy was currently cussing out had started giving him sass, and Tommy was five seconds away from punting his ass into the next asteroid belt. 

-KAREN INNIT POGG

-yes angel prince REPRESENT

-we love punting home of phobes during pride month

-YESS HAPPY PRIDE MONTH GUYS GALS AND NONBINARY PALS

Ignoring the voices in his head, Tommy sized the waiter up and down. He was some sort of skeleton hybrid, which could be seen in the way the waiter’s cheeks were more sunken, his complexion was extremely pale, and his eyes were inverted. Come to think of it, this homophobic waiter guy kinda looked like Sans Undertale.

-omg no not my boy sans

-Ignoring us? On pride month? Seems a bit of a hate crime my guy

-Tommy’s abt to bust out a keyboard and start playing megalovania istg

-IS SANS A HOMOPHOBE!?!!!?

-chat this is a serious topic WE MUST CONSULT THE COUNCIL

-how’d we go from pride month to Sans undertale is what I’m still trying to figure out

Suddenly, Sans muttered something under his breath, sneering, and lifted the middle finger in Tommy’s face. Tommy went cross-eyed looking at it, then, before the waiter could react, Tommy bit down hard. 

Sans the waiter yelped, and on instinct his hand jerked out, hitting Tommy on the side of his head, causing Tommy’s hood to fall off. 

-SHIT.

Chapter Text

One job.

Theseus had literally one job. Keep his hood on. And also maybe NOT bite other peoples fingers. Techno swears, he will one day punt Theseus out of a window.

But until that day comes, Techno is stuck with this runt. 

As soon as the skele-waiter saw Theseus’ blonde hair, he shouted something in this planet’s native tongue. Every single head in the cafe turned in their direction, and Techno cursed and moved to pull the hood back onto Theseus’ hair, but the damage had already been done. 

The waiter stumbled back, hand reaching out behind him. He backed into another table nearby, where a mother shulker alien was clutching her children close, trying to shuffle away from Theseus. The waiter’s hand wrapped around a small candle that was on the table and he threw it at them.

The candle bounced twice before knocking over the candle that was on Techno and Theseus’ table, and the next moment their entire table was on fire. 

Theseus yelled out something that sounded like a curse word as he leapt away from the table where the fire was quickly spreading.

By now, most of the people in the cafe had already started screaming and running around, most running towards the exit door. One particular enderman alien was screaming extremely loudly, and in contrast a little blaze girl was laughing and setting the rest of the tables on fire, much to her father’s worry.

-omfg a lil bean

-AHHHAHAHA A SMOL ANARCHIST

-techno TECHNO you gotta adopt her like you did with our angel prince

-GASP. Little sister blaze for Theseus. OMG.

Now’s not the time for adopting kids, Techno thought as he dodged a pepper shaker from the posse of waiters now attacking him and Theseus. 

Suddenly, the chefs came out from the kitchen with knives.

Lovely. 

Techno ripped the table cloth out from under a nearby table and threw it over their table to halt the fire for a second so he could jump over it and slide across the table over to the side Theseus was on. As he got to the edge of the table, Techno hooked his hand over the edge of the table and flipped it over, banging against the wall next to Theseus and coming to a stop. 

Just then, a butcher knife impaled itself into the edge of the table where Techno’s hand just was.

“Shit.” Techno muttered. “Looks like we’ve got ourselves a bit of a problem here, Theseus.” 

Despite not even speaking the same language, Theseus got the gist of what Techno was saying. He groaned, and took his coat off. Theseus knew when to keep the coat on, and when to take the coat off.

Because they were about to kick some chef ass.

Chapter Text

“Theseus, knife!”

Techno never thought he’d be willingly giving his runt a knife that wasn’t baby proofed, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Theseus caught one of the butter knives Techno tossed at him, and used it to deflect an arrow that would have sunk into his heart had Techno tossed him the weapon just a second later. Wielding his own dull butter knife, Techno charged at the source of the arrows. The skeleton waiter had spawned in a bow from out of nowhere, and Techno didn’t even know where he was getting the arrows from. 

-yall are cooked

-YOU GOT THIS!!!!

-bloOD FOR THE BLOOD GODD

Not helping. Techno wished the voices would get quieter when he was fighting so he could focus, but unfortunately the opposite was always true. 

Dodging to the left, Techno avoided an arrow and skidded behind the skeleton waiter and sunk his knife into its back. The skeleton whipped around, bow poised to smack Techno upside the head, but then a knife blossomed out of his skull. The skeleton teetered and finally collapsed, revealing a wide-eyed Theseus. 

“Nice throw, kid,” Techno said, getting up. “Now let’s split.” He grabbed Theseus’ arm and the two sprinted outside,not before snagging Theseus’ cloak on the way. 

Theseus yelped, and Techno looked down in horror to see an arrow sticking out Theseus’ leg. 

“Shit,” Techno hissed. “Alright, c’mere kid.” Techno hoisted Theseus into his arms, and kept sprinting, seemingly not affected by the extra weight at all. 

They ran through the streets, Techbo searching for the port he passed by when he delivered that package to Callahan. 

-Techno, on your left!

Techno turned sharply, thankful that his voices were being useful for once. He ran to the port, shoving down passersby who were pointing and gawking, praying that whatever type of police this town had wasn’t on its way. Techno quickly glanced around the port for an easy ship to hijack, and soon found his prey. 

Sprinting to the ship with an angry mob starting to form behind him, Techno ripped the safety lock off the door and pocketed it while shifting Theseus to his shoulder with one arm. Jumping inside and closing the door behind him, Techno carried Theseus into the cockpit and worked on hot wiring the ship. Luckily, his days as a naive teenage space pirate guaranteed his knowledge in stuff like this. 

Banging on the door. Techno had to hurry. Theseus groaned in pain beside him.

Fuck.