Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Maya finally stepped through the door, it was dark and the whole house was quiet. No one was speaking Italian, no one was running around making siren noises while pretending to be a fire truck. And while the quiet felt nice after working for over 24 hours. She still missed the people responsible for her noisy home.

She took a deep breath the smell of home filling her lungs. Olfactory memories were some of the strongest connections the brain could form. Just the smallest input of a smell was able to bring back things the human brain had long since forgotten.

Home smelled like Carina’s body lotion, like Liam’s shampoo and like herbs and garlic. It smelled like laughter and like old Italian movies with a glass of wine on a Saturday evening.

There were a few toy animals lined up on the stairs. The order looking random to Maya, but she was sure every single one was placed on its respective spot with a purpose. They made her smile and while Maya herself wasn’t a fan about the discussion to always tidying up after playing, this time she was glad that her son had won.

She took off her shoes to try and make as little sound as possible as she went into the kitchen to see if any of her family’s dinner was left. Maya hadn’t planned to be at work this long, in fact she was supposed to be home four hours ago and disappointed to miss yet another family dinner, another bed and bath time. But a last-minute call out had taken a lot longer than anyone could’ve anticipated. So here she was sneaking around in her own kitchen looking for food in the middle of the night.

When she opened the fridge, she was presented with two plates, a big white one, and a smaller red and blue one. She sighed; Liam had once again not eaten his dinner.

He had always been a bit of a picky eater, but it appeared to have gotten a little worse over the last few weeks. With him starting to refuse to eat foods he usually loved.

Carina blamed it on him starting kindergarten and seeing all the crap his classmates’ parents gave their kids for lunch. She had always been a bit of a food snob in Maya’s eyes, shaming American food whenever she got the chance too, and while at first she just rolled her eyes and laughed, Maya now had to agree that her wife’s version of most meals was a hundred times better.

She heated her food and just as she was about to sit down and quickly wolf down her lasagna, so she could finally go to bed, she heard the patter of small feet, slowly  coming down the stairs.

“Mommy?”

“You’re home?”

Liam hovered in the door to the kitchen, wearing nothing but one of Maya’s SFD shirts as pyjamas, he looked extra small, the shirt fitting him like a dress, reaching past his knees, tired but entirely too awake for this time of night.

“Hey buddy!” Maya said. Happy to see her son but concerned that he was awake and out in search of her.

“Was I too loud? Did I wake you up?”

Liam shook his head. Still not coming into the kitchen.

“Did you have a bad dream?”

The only answer being another headshake with his eyes on the floor, now really worried Maya.  

There hadn’t been a single day or night where Liam hadn’t come running to hug her after finding out she was home from work. Now however, his reluctance to even look at her gave Maya a bad feeling. His behaviour reminding her too much of herself as a child, always walking around on eggshells trying to read her father’s mood. Analysing every little twitch of an eyebrow, to protect herself from the ticking time bomb, which was bound to explode the second even a hair was out of place.

Maya was terrified, had she done something? Had she snapped at him for not picking up his toys? For not doing his homework neatly or not putting on his shoes fast enough? Had she become loud and intimating without realising, scaring her son the same way her father had scared her?

She was spiralling, she needed Carina. But her wife was upstairs asleep, and Liam was here now, and she had to make this right.

What would Carina do?

She would want to talk, she always wanted to talk. And talking about feelings wasn’t one of Maya’s strengths, but she had to, she had to be a good role model for Liam. To show him, that she was not like her dad, to make sure that he knew she always loved him, and he never had to be scared to talk to her.

So, she opened her arms in his direction. “Come here!”

She tried to ban all her anxiety from her voice, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on it, she had to be strong for him now.

Liam finally raised his eyes from the checkered kitchen tiles and took a small step in her direction. He was fidgeting with the bottom of his sleep shirt, rolling it up and unravelling in.

It broke Maya’s heart to see her five year old so anxious.

When he had finally reached her, she picked him up easily and sat him on her lap facing her, one leg on either side and wrapped him in a tight hug. And finally, after a few excruciating seconds, she could feel his tiny arms sneaking around her ribs, hands clawing into the fabric of her hoodie, hugging her back. A first step into the right direction. He still needed her, and he still trusted her to comfort him.

Maya held onto Liam, to sooth her own anxiety just as much as his own, and only let go when she felt his grip loosening.

“I missed you!” She said trying to look at him, but his face was still buried in her neck.

She couldn’t hear it, but the vibration and warm air she could feel on her skin told her that he had answered.

Carina liked to joke that had not she herself performed the emergency c section and delivered Liam; nothing could convince her that he wasn’t Maya’s biological son.

Liam was so much like herself that Maya knew, forcing whatever was bothering out of him wasn’t gonna work. So, with one arm holding Liam she picked her fork back up and started eating. Deciding to let him take the lead in this. Let him feel in control of sharing his feelings when he was ready too.

And it worked.

When Maya was halfway done, he finally sat up and turned around, now facing the table, leaning his back against Maya’s front.

“I'm hungry.”

It was uttered so quietly, she almost missed it, she held her breath, trying to listen closely in case there was more. But all she could hear was his breathing.

“You want some of my lasagne?” she tried hopefully. Knowing almost all of his dinner was in the fridge, indicating that he probably hadn’t liked it.

He turned his head to look at her with big eyes, “Can I?”

“Of course!,” she took a fork full, “Open up!” and delivered it straight into his mouth.

He giggled a little, and the sound of Liam happy made her heart sore.

Maya continued eating, alternating the destination of her fork between the both of them. And when the plate was empty and both of their stomachs filled, Liam relaxed into Maya, before tensing up again.

“Mama’s gonna be mad.”

“Why do you think she’s gonna be mad?”

“Because she said that if I didn’t eat dinner, I wouldn’t get anything until breakfast.” He sniffled a little, sounding like he was about to cry. He was conflicted, having acted against what his Mama had told him. But still feeling relief, to be here with his Mommy, his stomach finally not feeling like it was screaming for food anymore.

“Well technically, you just ate dinner.” Maya tried to sooth his mind, not wanting Liam to feel guilty for being hungry. Never wanting him to be scared to ask for food in his own home. Not wanting him to have to sneak around the kitchen holing his breath in the middle of the night, like she had to.

“I mean sure, it was a little later than usual, but it was still dinner. Actually, I think she’s going to be so happy to hear how much you liked her lasagna.”

Liam shrugged is shoulders, and she could tell he wasn’t entirely convinced yet. But for now, there wasn’t much else she could do about it. She didn’t want to lie to him and tell him it would be a secret. Because as soon as Carina was awake, they would have a conversation about this.

So once again she decided to settle on the truth, “I’ll talk to Mama about it, okay?” “You don’t have to worry about her being mad at you. Mama is very smart, and she’s a doctor, doctors know a lot of things about the human body. And she also knows that hunger isn’t something you can control. You can’t force it, even if you want to.”

“Come on, let’s go to bed. I’m really tired, and I’m sure you are too.”

When Liam nodded she turned him around in her arms, holding him on her hip with one arm, using the other hand to place her plate and fork in the dishwasher. She made sure all the doors were locked and finally turned out the lights, starting to climb the stairs.

Liam had rested his head on her shoulder and while before becoming a mom, Maya had judged other parents for still carrying their children, when they were clearly big enough to walk on their own. She would be sad on the day Liam would be too big to be carried by her, Carina already struggled and rarely picked him up anymore. But thanks to Maya carrying full grown adults out of burning houses on a regular basis, she hoped that day was still in the very distant future for her.

She went to the bathroom, foregoing to turn on the light, the illumination of their nightlight in the hallway being enough, and carefully sat Liam down on the bathroom counter next to the sink. “We gotta have to brush our teeth again Probie.”

That got a smile out of him, “Hey, I’m not a Probie anymore.” He said defensively.

Ever since telling him, about his new sibling that would arrive in a couple of months, he had passed down his nickname. Insisting that a Probie was the newest recruit, and now that he wasn’t the youngest in the house anymore, he had moved up the rank and was finally qualified as a proper firefighter almost ready to be driving the engine.

Carina had tried very hard to hold back her laughter that evening, when Liam went on a full rant about firefighter ranks leaving Maya speechless about the so well-reasoned dismissal of the nickname.

“Well bambina, that’s what you get for telling him about fire safety protocols instead of a lullaby to make him go to sleep.”

And even though Maya was sad about the nickname, she couldn’t help but feel so endlessly proud of her son.

“All right then DeLuca-Bishop, you gotta brush your teeth again.” She handed him his toothbrush and, turning around the little hourglass they used to time his brushing she said, “Two minutes, ready, set, go!”

After he had finished brushing and rinsing, she looked at him seriously. “Ready for line up DeLuca-Bishop?”

He nodded, sitting up straight, pushing out his chest, his face in an expression that Carina lovingly called the Maya Bishop face.

“Teeth?” She asked.

“Clean!” He grinned as wide as he could, so Maya could see his teeth.

“Hands?” Maya knew his hands would be spotless, he hadn’t touched anything that could’ve made them dirty. But this was part of their normal bedtime routine. And she wanted to keep it the same for him.

"Clean!" He exclaimed stretching out his arms so Maya could examine his fingers.

“Bladder?”

“Empty!”

“Are you sure?” Maya asked.

“Maybe not...” and he hopped down from the counter to go sit on the toilette.

“Okay, last question,,” Maya said after washing and rechecking his hands. “How did the new Probie do today? Anything happed that I need to know of?”

Liam started giggling, Maya had implemented asking him about the baby ever since they had told him about his new sibling, wanting to make him feel important and included. “They made Mama eat chocolate ice cream with pickles for dessert.”

She joined in with his laughter, “Thanks for reporting that, I will have a word with them regarding this behaviour.”

“Ready for bed now?”

He nodded and started walking in the direction of his bedroom. The anxious boy from half an hour ago was gone, replaced by a tired but happy version of him.

After tucking him into his bed, Maya gave him one final hug and kissed him on his forehead.

“I love you forever.”

“I love you too Mommy, goodnight.”

And when Maya turned to look at him one last time before leaving his room, he had already fallen asleep.

*

Carina woke up to words being whispered against her skin. At first, she was confused if Liam had climbed into bed with her. But she soon realised that it was Maya finally home, talking into her belly, telling the baby all about her day.

“Oh and I heard from an anonymous but reliable source that you made your Mama eat pickles with ice cream. I thought we had agreed to stop doing that?”

Carina didn’t know what it was, maybe her breathing had changed, but Maya suddenly stopped whispering and raised her head to look up at her.

“Sorry,” she winced a little “did I wake you?”

“Yeah,” Carina shrugged, “but it’s okay, I’m glad to see you.”

Maya placed one last kiss beneath her belly button and crawled up, to properly greet her wife. With them finally being at eye level Carina’s brain caught up to what she had woken her up in the first place. “How do you even know about the pickles? You can’t just accuse me of eating something without having proof.”

What was meant to be a light-hearted joke, had the opposite effect on Maya than intended. Instead of laughing it of trying to talk herself out of the accusation. Her face darkened a little and she let out a heavy breath.

“Liam told me just now.”

“He was awake?” Carina asked concerned. Liam was a heavy sleeper and didn’t usually wake up during the night. “Is everything okay?”

“He is now.” Maya said, turning onto her back, starring at the ceiling.

Something was bothering Maya, that much she could tell. But knowing her wife for so many years had taught her, that pressing the matter would only make her more reluctant to share her feelings. So, Carina waited, lying next to Maya starring at the ceiling as well.

“Did you send him to bed without dinner?”

She could hear the accusation in Maya’s tone and immediately wanted to defend her actions. Maya hadn’t been there; she wasn’t allowed to judge her parenting decisions without even knowing what had happened. But she held off, wanting to see if Maya had anything else to add.

“I know you probably had a tough day; you were tired and disappointed that I couldn’t be there for dinner, and Liam not wanting to eat your lasagna was the final straw that made you snap. I get that. But please, never ever punish him by withholding food. Ever.”

And suddenly she knew what this was about. After all she had made an offhand comment about there not being anything else until breakfast if Liam didn’t eat dinner. It was something her parents had said more than once, it was normal.

But not for Maya, whose father had used withholding food as a punishment, when she wasn’t fast enough, not thin enough, or showed to much empathy for a fellow runner who had gotten hurt. For Maya, a comment like that went against everything she wanted to be as a parent.

“Oh Bambina! Come here.” And finally, Maya’s resolve broke and she could feel hot tears on her skin as Maya buried her face in Carina’s neck. And Carina rubbed her back and let her wife cry it out. Whatever Maya had discussed with Liam must have brought back difficult memories for her.

They had come such a long way. From Maya adamantly denying her father’s abuse, to slowly accepting it and now to freely crying about it in Carina’s arms. And even though she knew that this was somewhat her fault, she couldn’t help but be proud of Maya for not pushing down her feelings on the matter for weeks until it would end in an argument.

It was only when she felt Maya’s tears stop that she spoke.

“I’m sorry about that. I swear, I didn’t mean it as a punishment, I just didn’t want him to start complaining he was hungry, right after brushing his teeth. I was so tired I just couldn’t deal with anything like that in the moment.”

“He didn’t sleep.” Maya said, still a little angry. “He was so hungry he couldn’t fall asleep. And then even after eating with me, he was scared that you were going to be mad at him for not waiting until breakfast.”

“I mean it!” Promise me that you’ll never do it again.” She was looking at her now. And similarly to how Maya’s heart had broken in two earlier when Liam had been scared to come into the kitchen, Carina now felt her heart break, looking into Maya’s eyes. This was not her Maya, the eyes that looked back at her were teenage Maya’s eyes. Scared and broken.

“I promise! We will find a solution about what to do if he doesn’t want to eat at mealtimes.”

Maya then finally kissed her, it wasn’t a heated kiss, or a passionate one, but it was so full of love and desperation. And while they both knew that this conversation was by far not over they came to the silent agreement, that now that Maya had been able to rid her mind of her initial fear and anxiety, what they both needed the most was sleep.

Maya nudged her shoulder. “Turn around, I wanna hold you.”

And even though Carina was surprised by that, having already planned to not let go of Maya for the rest of the night, pushing her own needs to the side, she willingly turned around. Her back to Maya’s front and allowed herself to relax into her wife’s strong embrace. She felt a hand rest on her belly and lips pressed to her neck.

It was Maya’s way of saying “I love you.” Of reassuring Carina that even though she strongly disapproved of her actions this evening, she still loved her. Because in the end they both had the same goal. To never make their children feel the way, they had when they were young.

Chapter Text

"Mummy, I want Olives", were the first words Maya heard, picking her son up from school. Her eyes went to find Liam’s teacher, but she just shrugged, seemingly just as confused as Maya by the sudden request. "Oh, and parmigiano." he added, his big blue eyes looking at her expectingly.

"What about a, hi mummy I’m so happy to see you after you had to work a 48 hour shift." Maya said jokingly while waiting for Liam to climb into the car, but at least the parmigiana cleared some things up for her.

It had to be Carinas doing, after all she was the one constantly snacking on cheese. Pregnant or not it had always been a weakness of hers. But Maya, given the current struggle to get Liam to eat, was mostly glad that he had requested anything at all.

“How urgent is this desire for olives and cheese?” Maya inquired while strapping him into his car seat, before rounding the car and getting in.

“Very urgent!” Liam exclaimed from the back seat. Throwing his hands into the air.

“Alright, then we’ll have to go shopping, because I’m pretty sure that mamma ate all the parmigiano last night.”

“Yayyy, market!” Liam shouted. He loved going to the Italian supermarket. Carina had taken him along with her from the start, and Liam, being the adorable baby that he was, had charmed his way into every heart immediately. Now he loved chatting to everyone in Italian, happy about using the language with someone else than his mamma, and Carina strongly encouraged that.

They had taken Liam to Italy twice so far, the first time was shortly after the adoption had gone through and they were finally able to travel with him. Liam was still only a baby but he had thrived in the warm Italian sun, spending his day on the beach eating sand and crawling through the shallow water under Maya’s careful watch.

It had also been Maya’s first time in Italy, seeing the way Carina just lit up in her home country, how happy and carefree she was speaking her native language, it had fueled Maya’s want to learn Italian. She desperately wanted to be able to give her wife a piece of comfort. Living in Italy would never be an option for them. Even a vacation was somewhat of a risk. The fact that their marriage wasn’t recognized in Italy stung, but they could live with that for a few weeks. Liam and their baby not being recognized as both of their children though. That part was nonnegotiable.

So she had started learning Italian in every way she could, it started with Duolingo lessons in the quiet times of her shift, she had gotten books and exercise sheets and made a point to put on Italian movies for Liam. She wanted it to be a secret from Carina until she had a basic understanding.

That part of her plan had failed though when her wife came by for a surprise visit to the station one day.

Maya was the first to jump out of the rig and slam the door behind her. She only had one goal and that was a shower. Everything else had to wait. The call hadn’t been a bad one, but she was sweaty and covered in saw dust after having to cut down a tree branch that had fallen onto a car. It made for a very uncomfortable combination.

She took the stairs two at a time and was just about to grab a towel from her locker, when a voice from her bunk made her jump. “Bambina, cos’è questo?” (Bambina what’s this) She turned her head and saw Carina standing in the room holding her Italian textbook, the work sheets she’d been working on before the call, spread out on her bed.

“Oh…” was all she managed. “What are you doing here?”

“Stai imparando l’italiano?” (You are learning Italian?) Carina tried. Testing Maya’s level of language comprehension while ignoring her question.

There was no denying it. “Sì!” She said nervously, the word so familiar yet strange coming from her own mouth. While having gotten to practice reading and listening, speaking was the one thing Maya had yet to try.

“Ma perché… perché?” (But why… why?) Tears were starting to fill Carina’s eyes.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I… I can stop if you want me to. Fuck, I didn’t mean to make you sad!”

Carian vehemently shook her head, “No… I… Why didn’t you tell me bambina? I could’ve helped you!”

Maya took two big steps and pulled Carina into a hug. It broke her heart to see her wife crying and saying what she was about to reveal felt easier without looking at her face.

“I just wanted to surprise you. I saw how happy you were in Italy when you were able to speak your language whenever you wanted and yes, we have Liam, and he is picking it up so fast, but I just wanted to make you feel like you could always be yourself at home. I know how sometimes when you’re exhausted, having to speak English makes communicating harder for you. So, I wanted to surprise you with it once I got better. I didn’t want it to be another burden.”

She felt Carina’s arms around her squeezing her tight before pulling away so she could look at her face. “Oh Maya… you’ve been studying on your own for over six months? When you could’ve just asked me? You could never be a burden to me. Do you know how happy it makes me that you even want to try? No one has ever wanted to try.” Her voice cracked a little and she buried her face back in Maya’s neck.

“Well, I wasn’t completely alone. Liam has helped more than I thought he would. Turns out that I can understand about as much as a one year old.”

She felt Carina smile against her cheek. “Come on,” she took Carina’s hands and pulled her out of the bunk room, “I really need a shower.”

Maya’s Italian had rapidly improved since and during their second trip to Italy when Liam was 3 years old, Maya was able to not only meet but also converse with some of Carina’s many cousins.

*

When they pulled up outside the supermarket, Maya turned around in her seat to look at Liam. “Alright, what’s the rule DeLuca-Bishop?”

“No running off without permission.” Liam said, dragging the words while rolling his eyes.

And…?” Maya prompted.

“I have to check with you before putting something in the basket. Can we go in now?” he said, wiggling in the seat.

“Yep, let’s go.”

As soon as they stepped inside, Liam was in his element, he stopped to chat to all the workers and rolled his eyes at a poor woman who didn’t know the difference between two types of cheese.

Soon after Carina had started helping her learn Italian, she made the rule that only Italian was to be spoken in the Italian supermarket as it was the only place Maya could practice with someone outside of her family.

“Hey Liam, puoi prendere il gelato per la mamma?” (Hey Liam, can you get ice cream for mamma?) She asked, wanting to foster his independence by giving him a small task that would also include reading the flavor of the ice cream.

Sì, buona idea. Cioccolato per la mamma e fregola per me?” (Yes, good idea. Chocolate for mamma and strawberry for me?) The face he made almost melted Maya on the spot. How could a child that wasn’t biologically related to either of them be so much like the both of them. The pout of his lower lip was a carbon copy of Carina’s sad face.

“Hm… pensavo volessi olive e parmigiano?” (Hh… I thought you wanted olives and parmesan.) she teased him.

“Per favor mommy, il gelato è per dessert.” (Please mommy, the ice cream is for dessert.) He tried to convince her, and Maya almost had to laugh, because how was she supposed to resist that face.

“Va bene, cioccolato per la mamma, fregola per te e stracciatella per me.” (All right, chocolate for mamma, strawberry for you and stracciatella for me.)

“Sìì! Cioccolato, fregola e stracciatella.”

And he ran off in the direction of the freezer. Maya could still hear him repeatedly saying the three flavors she had told him to get, in fear of forgetting one.

With Liam busy, Maya got to work filling the shopping cart with everything else from the shopping list she kept on her phone. While she would have come just to get Liam the snack he requested, she would’ve had to get groceries anyway, so this was the perfect opportunity to stock up on all of Carina’s favorite things.

She was pondering about which of the many types of tomato was the one Carina used in her lasagna, when suddenly someone behind her said her name.

“Maya Bishop?”

Maya spun around tomatoes in hand wondering who here would know her. While many of the staff knew her as Carina’s wife and Liam’s mother, she didn’t think any of them knew her full name.

But the person standing in front of her wasn’t someone who worked at the store. It was a customer, just like her. And even though a lot of time had passed since they had last seen each other, just like she had recognized Maya, Maya recognized her.

“Hima!”

“Wow this is… I haven’t heard from you since you won gold at the Olympics.”

Maya hadn’t heard from Hima since high school graduation. She hadn’t bothered keeping in touch with anyone, far too focused on training. And even if she had wanted to, her father wouldn’t have allowed it anyways. So, she forgot about Hima for the most part. Sure, she was always in the back of Maya’s mind as her first kiss. But she hadn’t thought about her beyond that.

But now seeing her in front of her, someone who only existed in past Maya’s life, not in present Maya’s life. It made her feel sad. It made her feel so sad for past Maya who had had a crush, and her first kiss. Who was so brave despite her father’s harsh words, who had her first kiss sitting on her bedroom floor because she liked this girl in front of her.

And who a week later had to learn to show that girl the cold shoulder. Who had to hurt someone she cared about, to save herself from her father’s abuse.

So, for a total loss of words. She didn’t know what to say except for a breathless “Hi!”

Thankfully for her, Hima didn’t seem to notice that something was off and took the lead in the conversation.

“So, what is it you do now? I remember you stopped running professionally after winning gold.” She seemed genuinely excited about seeing Maya, something she couldn’t quite understand, after how she treated her.

“Ahm, I’m a firefighter now, a lieutenant at station 19. I joined the fire academy pretty much as soon as I could after the Olympics and just stuck with it.” Her job was a safe topic to talk about. She loved her job and even the fact that she wasn’t captain anymore wasn’t a sore topic for her.

“Wow. I don’t know what I expected but that definitely wasn’t it. It sounds exciting though, I’m a first-grade teacher and so many of the little ones want to be firefighters, I hear it so often together with astronaut and pro football player that I sometimes forget that it’s a profession normal people have.” Hima laughed, and Maya couldn’t but laugh with her

“Well, normal wouldn’t be the first word that comes to mind when talking about myself, but sure, I know what you mean…” But before she could elaborate on that, she heard the sound of small feet running in her direction.

“Mommy, prendilo, il gelato è freddo.” (Mommy take it, the ice cream is cold.)

She quickly took the ice cream from Liam and put it in the cart, his hands wet from the condensation that had collected on the containers.

“Give me your hands I’ll put them in my pocket and warm them up.”

“No Mommy,..” he laughed as she grabbed them and playfully shoved them into her pockets. “niente inglese, qui devi parlare italiano, ricordi?” (No English, you have to speak Italian here, remember.)

 “Sì lo so, ma questa è Hima e non parla italiano, quindi dobbiamo parlare ingelse davanti a lei, va bene?” (Yes I know, but this is Hima and she doesn’t speak Italian, so we have to speak English in front of her, okay?)

“Hima this is my son Liam. Liam this is Hima, we went to high school together.”

Both Hima and Liam looked at each other in shock. Liam was first to find his voice.

“You went to high school? But… you’re an adult.”

That seemed to get Hima back and both her and Maya had to suppress laughing at the so serious sounding question.

“Well, yes, I’m an adult now, but I wasn’t always one. You know how babies grow into children, but it doesn’t stop there. Children grow into teenagers and those teenagers’ become adults. All adults were children once.”

“All of them? Even Mamma?”

“Yes, even mamma. We can look at some pictures when we get home if you want to?” Liam nodded distractedly. Maya could see that he was getting a little tired. “Why don’t you go and get the cheese you want? I already have your olives and then we can head home.”

Liam pulled his hands out of Maya’s pockets and nodded to himself, “Warm!” Before taking off to find his cheese.

“So, you’re not only a firefighter but also a mom? And you speak Italian? Are you sure you’re the Maya Bishop I went to high school with?”

Hima laughed, but to Maya she had hit the nail on its head. She wasn’t at all the Maya Bishop from back at high school.

“Well, technically it’s DeLuca-Bishop now. So, I guess not. I changed a lot since then and I can’t say I miss her all that much.” In some ways Maya couldn’t believe she was opening up so much to this woman who was practically a stranger to her. But then from what Maya had learned in therapy, she was sure that most people were a lot more aware of what had been going on in her childhood home than she thought they had.

“I’m so happy for you Maya, really. I… I’m not sure you were aware, but I really liked you back then, and I knew that your dad wasn’t the nicest. So, when you stopped talking to me, I got really worried about you, you know. I thought maybe he had found out about the kiss, and I couldn’t imagine what he would do to you if I continued to try and be your friend, so I let you be. Even if it broke my heart a little bit.”

Hima smiled at her, it wasn’t a happy smile, but also not a pity smile, it was a sad reminiscing smile. And Maya could see that there truly were no bad feelings between them.

“I’m so sorry about that, but yeah in a sense it was good that you stopped trying. He didn’t know about us in that way. But even just friends were a distraction that he didn’t approve of, so...” Maya trailed of, not knowing what else to say without dumping all her childhood trauma onto this woman.

“Listen I have to get going now, but why don’t you all come for dinner one day? I have a little boy around Liam’s age, I’m sure they’d get along.”

They exchanged phone numbers and just as fast as she appeared Hima was gone again. Leaving Maya in the vegetable aisle, still a little dazed she grabbed a couple of tomatoes before making her way to the cheese counter  to pick up Liam, who had fallen into a deep conversation with a customer, recommending him cheese.

“You know, you should let him drop out of kindergarten and send him to work here. Clearly, he knows everything there is already.” Francesco the old man working behind the cheese counter told Maya laughing.

*

As soon as they stepped into their house Liam made a beeline for the kitchen. And by the time Maya had arrived with all the groceries and put them away, he had already gotten out two plates and set them on the counter. “Mommy out.” He said pointing in the direction of the living room. “You can go play, I will make us a snack and get you when I’m done, va bene?”

Carina liked to tease her about the Maya Bishop face, but everyone knew that Carina was much scarier than her. She was able to scare away even the strongest men with her stare. Something that Liam was so perfectly copying right now, that Maya felt like she should be concerned about her own child ordering her around. But since they had agreed to let Liam be as independent as he wanted to be regarding food, she let him and retreated into the living room to start clearing away some of the toys that occupied the floor. She still had a good view of the kitchen, but was far away enough to make Liam feel in control of the situation.

It didn’t take long before Liam asked her to come back and presented her with the snack he made. The divided plates that he had used had four compartments which he had filled with olives, small pieces of the parmigiano, crackers and a piece of chocolate.

At just five years old Liam was already learning how to cook and prepare food, it was all Carina’s doing and part of their attempt to solve his refusal to eat, but looking at her son right now, so proud of his accomplishment, she couldn’t help but feel a small piece of herself heal.

“This looks great buddy.” She walked around the kitchen island and picked him up from the step stool he was standing on to reach everything. “What do you think about a picknick? We could pack everything in a lunchbox and go to the park, you on your bike and I can run, and after, we’ll go to the hospital and drive home with mamma? What do you think?”

Since all Maya had done after getting home from her shift was sleep before picking up Liam, she was desperate to get some exercise without having to cut time from being with Carina. And Liam, who had fallen asleep on the way home also needed to get some energy out or else it would be a very late evening today.

“Yes, a picknick. Let me down, let me down.” Liam started wiggling his legs, jumping up and down in Maya’s arms. “I’ll do the lunchboxes, and you fill the water bottles”, he ordered already opening the all the doors to find what he was looking for.

Once everything was packed and both Maya and Liam were changed into some athletic gear, Maya took the obligatory picture of her and Liam in front of the mirror to send it to Carina with the information that they would be coming to pick her up later. As much as Carina had deemed it unnecessary for her son to own miniature-sized biking clothes, Maya knew that her wife found it beyond adorable. And while cuteness hadn’t been the only reason, when she got him the little gloves she had to admit that her son was indeed adorable.

When Liam was a baby Maya had started to take him running in the stroller when Carina needed some quiet after a night shift, or when she was alone with him and needed to burn some energy.
As he had gotten older the stroller was changed for a balance bike and at first Maya regretted that transition because what used to be a run to clear her mind, turned into more of a fast walk, during which she had to stop one million times to look at an ant or keep Liam from driving into the street. But after a little while he had gotten better, and faster and while her runs weren’t as long anymore, they became enjoyable again.
Ever since getting a proper pedal bike for his fourth birthday. They had gone on so many runs together that they were almost back at the stroller level runs. Maya was so proud of her son and overjoyed to have something that was just theirs, a sport that they could do together, where they hyped each other up, and took breaks together when it got too much.

The park they set off to wasn’t too far away from home, so Liam could have his snack as soon as possible, but that was still a bit from the hospital, so they could get their exercise after having fueled themselves with some food.

They ate, went on the swing, played in the sand and Liam was just completing the monkey bars for the third time, when it was time to leave so they would be at the hospital in time for Carina to take them home with her.

*

“Why is there a bike in this corri… Oh my god you are adorable.”

“Hi, auntie Amelia, look at my new biking gloves.” Liam proudly held up his glove covered hands. “They are to protect my hands when I fall and also, so they won’t get cold from the wind.”

“Very cool buddy, I’m sure Scout would be jealous, he’s been asking for a new bike since the last time he saw yours.” Amelia’s went to look at Maya. “Are you here for Carina? She should be out soon, she was just leaving to get changed when I last saw her.”

“Thanks Amelia, we would be waiting in her office, but I don’t think she’d appreciate me bringing a bike in there, so I thought out here would be the saver option.”

“Oh yes, better not anger the pregnant wife.” Amelia agreed, just when Carina came around the corner.

“Mamma!” Liam shouted and took off, throwing himself in Carina’s arms. “Mi sei mancato!” (I missed you!) At almost 8 months pregnant Carina didn’t have the best balance anymore and struggled to stay on her feet after having a five-year-old run into her at full speed. But nonetheless she hugged him back just as tight. “Anche tu mi sei mancato tesoro.” (I missed you too Tesoro.)

After saying their goodbyes to Amelia, stepping into the elevator, they made their way down to Carina’s car. Maya holding the bike in one hand, the other went on search for Carina, intertwining their fingers. Liam holding onto his mamma’s other hand.

Carina leaned heavily into her side and turned her head to press a loving kiss on Maya’s cheek and breath her in. It wouldn’t be long before there would be another person here with them. Another human who already had stolen all of their hearts. It was the quiet moments like these that Maya lived for.