Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Brad Uppercrust III and Max Goof did not get along.

It was a known fact all across campus. Ever since the events of the College X Games, they were never seen together, ever. Some even say they were avoiding each other.

Bradley took the largest hit reputation wise. The school board usually let him do whatever he wanted(his family made some pretty hefty contributions to it.) But now they were on his ass. One more bad incident and he was in the gutter.

The Gammas as a whole had been banned from competing in the College X Games for a year due to their antics. If anyone was found cheating in any other sport they’d be banned completely from any competition until they were done with college.

The fraternity was practically in shambles for the following weeks, the tension was suffocating. Do you know how long it took him to repair things with the Gammas? He still wasn’t 100% forgiven yet. Sure, was it Brad’s own fault but they could cut him some slack.

Tank took pity on him after seeing how badly he was hurt after his punch. Like full on broken everything. The other Gammas followed suit as they weren’t as badly injured as Tank was. Thank goodness for that, Bradley did not want to have to go individually apologize to everyone.

Max on the other hand was doing great. He was as popular as ever, he and his friends had a great bond, and he was doing great in the athletics department. His academic grades on the other hand weren’t so great.

But who cares right? As long as he was passing by the end of the year it’d be fine. He’d been cruising through the past few weeks . Spending time at the Bean Scene, skateboarding, going to parties, and getting high(don’t tell his dad that, he’d lose his mind.) Best of all he hadn’t seen Brad.

It was kind of weird not having the junior around anymore though. The first few weeks of school had been nonstop Brad. Brad, Brad, Brad, and honestly he thought that was how it was going to be for the entire year. Now that the guy wasn’t around as much Max kind of missed him. Weird, he knows. But he was never the type to hold a grudge.

After the eventful first 2 months things started to slow down. The winter season was coming up. Sure it was only November but Max severely underestimated how cold it would get. Staying outside for long periods of time soon became unbearable because of how cold it was. The beach's water was too cold to swim in and no one really felt like going out anymore. Which meant that everyone was bored out of their minds.

Do you know what happens when people get bored? They find ways to entertain themselves. Parties, drugs, sex, videogames! Everyone doing everything all at once. You’d start seeing more people on campus searching for anything to do. Though that brings us to our latest problem. The rumors.

Rumors were an evil thing. They could make or break relationships. But they were so fun to indulge in! Who could resist? Not many people at college it seems.

The current hot gossip was about how the biology professor was having an affair with the theology professor. A few others were that some senior was sneaking around with a freshman, in highschool. There was also a huge fight in the girls' dorms and someone got sent to the hospital. Some dude got busted for drugs but that’s his fault really. I mean, who sells in the bathroom right next to the staff’s room?

There was a smaller rumor that was going around as well. It started off as a joke between a small group of friends that gained a little traction. It wasn’t that big of a deal really, only to the people who were involved.

The joke being, Bradley Upercrust III and Max Goof we’re dating.

Chapter Text

Bradley felt like absolute shit.

He had been up studying when a few Gamma guys invited some people over. Bradley was fine with this because he assumed there were only 5 people coming over, most 10. He was wrong, so very wrong.

Apparently “some people” were actually about 50 people! Not only were they loud talkers but they blasted music all night. I mean seriously don’t they know some people were trying to study?!

The alarm clock had been blaring for around ten minutes now. It was not helping with his current headache. After laying down for a few minutes he finally slammed on his alarm, cutting the beeping short. Luckily for him he has a 2 PM class today and won’t have to rush to get up.

But still, he fell asleep in his day clothes yesterday and he wasn’t too keen on staying in them for much longer. He willed himself out of bed and slumped all the way to the bathroom. He just realized how much pain he was in. And after looking in the mirror he realized he doesn’t just feel like shit, he looks like it too.

He did his usual routine, brush your teeth, take a shower, do a 30-step daytime skin care routine, wet, moisturize, and style your hair, then find and wear a stylish outfit that costs more than 5 families yearly income. Okay maybe not that much but you get the gist of it.

Still no amount of skin care can cure eyebags. Trust him he’s tried. Maybe he could just go back to sleep? But then he’d have to do his sleep routine and he’d rather not do that. He still had about 4 hours until he had to be in class, what to do until then…

…The answer came knocking on his door when Tank barged in. “Hey baby, me and the guys want to go out for coffee, wanna come with?” He asked. He made himself comfortable in Bradley’s desk chair looking at some fancey science model his dad gave him that was sitting atop it.

“Sure, just give me a minute.” Brad said, rubbing his eyes. He was mentally preparing for social interaction, something he realllly did not want to do right now. But it was better than rotting in his bed all day.

“Woah, did you get any sleep last night? You're looking pretty rough.” Bradley sighed, pretty rough was an understatement. Now he was reconsidering going out.

“No, I didn’t get much sleep because someone threw what was basically a party while I was trying to study for my test and when I finally started dozing off they decided to turn the music up.” His teeth were practically grinded together while he gritted out that sentence.

“That sucks man, If I had known you were up here studying-“ He could barely finish his sentence without being interrupted.

“Wait, you were there too?!” He said, eyes wide. His face screamed betrayal.

“Well Lisa Luxinburg was there, and the rest of Delta Zeta Theta. You know how they get down.” As if that was justifying.

“Yeah, down in STD’s.” He got up and placed his phone in his pocket and looked around for anything else he might need. “I mean seriously, those girls all need to start antibiotics, you remember that chlamydia outbreak at the end of last year? It took down half the house!”

Tank visibly shivered at the memory. The event would go down as one of the most embarrassing moments for fraternities around campus. Damn those sorority girls. Bradley himself didn’t get it, thanks to his impossibly high standards that no one was able to meet. He wasn’t the hookup on first conversation type of guy.

“We don’t talk about that, anyway, are you ready to go?” Tank said standing up, “Yeah, are we walking or taking someone’s car?” He really did not want to have to walk right now, apparently the weather was like 39 degrees.

“Walking, gas is too expensive nowadays.” Maybe life just decided to hate him that day or something. He could literally just pay for the gas! But if everyone had agreed on it it wasn’t like he could just veto the decision(the house doubled down on making sure everyone got a say instead of just doing what Bradley wanted, super inconvenient.)

He and Tank met with the others and started making their way to the coffee shop. The weather was clearly cooling down. Bradley quickly realized that he should’ve paired his sweater with a jacket. He powered through it though, Uppercrusts always push through, as he liked to say.

The Bean Scene wasn’t as packed as usual. Probably because it was 10:54 and most people don’t wake up till 11:00(if they’re lucky.) Better for Bradley though. Less people meant less chatter, which meant less noise, which meant less things to set off his headache.

When he went to order he settled for a latte. It was too cold for his usual Carmel Java. He also grabbed himself a bagel as well. He hadn’t eaten anything today and it was starting to catch up with him.

They settled for a table near the back and talked about various things. Upcoming tests, football season, upcoming hockey games, girls, etc. The conversation wasn’t all that interesting. He chimed in from time to time but he mostly let them entertain themselves. He realized just how much he wasn’t in the mood for talking.

The little hangout session was going fine until a few unwanted people walked into the shop. Who you ask? Well who do you think? If you guessed Max and his little entourage you’d be correct, sadly. These were just the people he did not want to see. It’s not like he was avoiding them, they simply weren’t worth his time.

That’s whatever though. He just had to keep to himself and there would be no problems. This was his hang out spot after all. He’d been going here since his freshman year and he refused to let some freshman come and ruin this for him.

Unfortunately, the young Goof’s friend had other plans. Bobby was it? Strolled over to the group. “Look who finally came back, got tired of hiding in your dorm room?” Yeah, as if. Bradley didn’t hide, he was just busy nowadays. He had a ton of missing assignments he had to turn in. Who knew skipping classes could have such bad consequences?

“Hello Bobby, I see you’re being as annoying as ever. I’ll have you know I wasn’t “hiding in my room” I was finishing schoolwork. Now how about you go off to whatever hole you came from?” He waved the guy off, already over the whole ordeal.

The little red head started leaning on his shoulder, yuck. He shrugged him off immediately. “Hey now no need to be feisty, I just wanted to have a little chat. I still haven’t gotten the chance to gloat over our victory at the X games. What has it been? 1? 2 months?”

Being stuck on that after 2 months is insane. Like move on already dude. “Well you’ve gloated, now you can quit bugging me.” He looked away from him instead sipping on his coffee.

The Gamma’s took notice of the altercation turning their attention towards them. The relationship between the two groups is still shaky at best. Tank and maybe a few others were really the only ones that could be considered friends with Max’s group. Brad had the worst relationship with them for obvious reasons. Speaking of Max’s group, here they come.

Ugh, Bradley could already tell this would become a whole ordeal. This is why he started coming later, so he wouldn’t have to deal with this bull. “Hey, we're still talking here.”

“No you’re still talking, I'm done with the conversation.” If Bradley was in Bobby’s position he’d want to brag too. But he's not and he doesn’t want to entertain the other guy anymore. To say he was a little sore after the X games was an understatement.

“Hey what’s going on over here?” Max said. When did he even get here? Whatever, all Brad knows is that he doesn’t want to deal with this. His headache had finally started to go away and now they were reviving it. How fantastic.

“Oh nothing, Sir Bradley here thinks he’s too good to talk to me.” Bobby snarled. Which wasn’t true by the way. He just wasn’t in the mood for talking. “Oh is that right? Bradley, stop acting like a pompous rich girl and look at us will ya?”

Pompous rich girl?! Bradley is not a pompous rich girl. Who does Max think he is calling him that! He snapped his head to the boys “Excuse me Max, but I am no “pompous rich girl” and it’s your friend who came over here and started bugging me. You need to put him on a leash.”

“A leash? I’m sorry but unlike you I don’t control what my friends do. He probably started bugging you for a good reason. What are you doing here anyway? I thought you stopped coming.” He asked, crossing his arms.

“Well not that it’s any of your business but I don’t have time for it anymore I spend my time studying and doing work like you should be doing. I mean considering your grades they should’ve kicked you out by now.”

“How do you know my grades?! Have you been paying someone to look?” Why was that the first thing he assumed? Bradley did not care that much, definitely not to the point he would actively pay to see his grades.

“No, if you paid attention to your surroundings you’d know that there’s a giant bulletin board that has everyone’s grades on it. And next to your name there’s all F’s. Honestly you and your dad are just alike.” Oops. Mentioning his dad was probably not the best idea.

Max’s fists balled up as he brought his hands to his sides. “Do not drag my dad into this! At least my dad raised a son with some actual respect. Yours clearly-“

Tank stood up abruptly and got between the two boys. “Hey now baby, no need to fight. Max, why don’t you and your crew go chill out somewhere else. We’ll stay here, far away from you guys. No more interactions between the two groups, no fighting. How’s that sound?”

Bradley and Max glared at each other before Max turned and walked away with his friends. Good riddance. If Max said what Bradley thought he was going to say things might’ve gotten heated, or to a boiling point since things were already hot. Thank goodness for Tank in moments like this.

But now he was in a bad mood. His coffee was now lukewarm at most and his bagel started tasting like, well, a bagel. Boring and plain. He was running on maybe two hours of sleep, and his headache started pulsing. He really wanted to lay his head down and rest, but that would be a sign of defeat and was not gonna allow the Goof to win.

He willed himself up. Sitting in his best posture and continued the conversation like nothing happened. When the beret girl came out he snapped his fingers. He even put on his best smile for one of the younger Gammas who wanted a group picture(one he made him delete later, his eyebags did not need to be immortalized in a photo.)

Soon enough they all departed. Bradley spent his last few minutes walking around trying to calm himself as much as possible before he went to class. Max seemed to be as annoying as ever, unsurprisingly. Just when the guy finally stopped taking over Bradley’s thoughts he came full force ramming himself inside his head. Little prick.

The walk wasn’t helping much since now that his thoughts were flooded with, “Does Max go for coffee regularly?” “What’s he up to nowadays?” and “I hope he falls off his skateboard.” Seeing there was no point in trying to calm himself down he gave up and went to class. Only to find that the test he was studying for wasn’t this Tuesday but next Tuesday, which meant that he studied for nothing.

Once he got home he holed himself in his room. This day had him spent. He changed into some more comfortable clothes and binge watched movies for the rest of the day. He dozed off to American Psycho and the thought of floppy ears.
———————————-
Earlier at the coffee shop

A group had been in the background watching Max and Bradley argue.

“Look at the two love birds going at it.” A girl laughed.

“No way, Brad and Max? Those two hate each other.” Her friend said.

“Well think again, apparently they act that way in public but in private they’re all lovey dovey.”

“Hey guys, what are you talking about?” A guy asked as he strolled up.

“How Bradley and Max are Madly in love with each other.” The original girl said.

“But if they love each other why do they act like that?” The friend piped up.

The original girl leaned in. “Apparently Brad is ashamed of Max and he wanted to hide the relationship.” She whispered.

“But I heard that it was because Brad’s not out of the closet yet.” The guy said.

“That’s only what Brad told Max to cover up the truth.” Original said, sipping her drink.

“Don’t gossip, all that causes is unnecessary drama.” A new girl popped up.

“Oh don’t be a buzzkill, you’ll want to hear this.”

“Okay fine, but I’m not gonna believe anything you say.”

“Yay! Okay so…”

Chapter Text

Who knew what a good night's rest could do to someone?

Bradley no longer felt like absolute shit. Gone was the man he was before, now he was feeling one hundred percent like himself. A bright shining smile here, a nice wink there. And no eyebags! His face was finally up to its usual perfection.

His schedule was completely empty(he already went to all his classes for today.) Too bad Tank was still in his. Don’t get him wrong it’s not like Bradley had no other friends. But all of them were either scared of him or kissed his ass. Tank was great because he didn’t do either. He was Brad’s only true friend.

As he saw it he had a few options. Hang with the other gammas, look for something to do, or play video games all day. He eventually settled on looking for something to do. It’s been a while since he walked around town.

He wore a polo with a blue sweater over it with khaki pants. Stylish as ever in his opinion. He got everything he needed and headed out. You know how he chose “look for something to do.” earlier? Well now that had combined with “Hang with the other gammas” Slouch and, what’s his name? Oh right, Charlie had decided to tag along, he wasn’t upset about it and actually found them to be quite entertaining.

As they were walking a certain black-haired boy turned and walked in front of them. Seriously, where did he come from? Weeks on end without seeing him now he’s seen him twice in the span of 3 days! Honestly he’s starting to feel like he’s getting stalked.

No matter, he would not let the boy’s presence ruin his day. Actually it’s been a while since he’s messed with him. It’s like he has an itch that can only be scratched by annoying Max.

He smirked, as he walked he shoulder checked Max. Would Max retaliate? Or would he just let Bradley do what he wanted? Bradley was excited for how the other boy would react. But he couldn’t know that, Bradley just engaged in conversation with his friends, acting like nothing happened. The grin on his face couldn’t fool anyone though.

“Really dude, what was that for?!” Max barked. His face screamed annoyed. Just as Bradley wanted.

“Oh, so sorry Max. You're just so short it was hard to see you. I mean seriously you’re impossible to see down there.” There wasn’t a single drop of sincerity. The Gammas behind him chuckled. It looked like the scene of a really bad coming-of-age movie from the 80’s.

“I’m not even that short, jackass, you're just a beanpole. Why don’t you just leave me alone?”

“Oh, but I was leaving you alone. Then you decided to make a big deal of me, accidentally, pushing you. Honestly Max you’re just a drama queen.” Yeah he totally “accidentally” pushed him. No need for a fuss right?

“I am not a drama queen. You know what Brad, you are one of the biggest brats I’ve ever met! I mean seriously pushing people around just because you don’t like them. How childish are you?” He glared up at the other boy.

“I’m the childish one? You’re the one fussing like a toddler Max. Oh I know!” He snaps his fingers and pulls his phone out. “Maybe I should call your dad, tell him his little baby is acting up.”

Max’s face turned red as he balled his fists. “Stop bringing up my dad, stop being annoying, and stop bothering me! I know you’re obsessed with me and everything but you’re really starting to piss me off!”

Brad didn’t even have the chance to reply before Max stormed off. “Looks like Max couldn’t handle you huh?”
Charlie spoke up. “Yeah *snort* he ran away with his tail between his legs.”

That wasn’t what he was focused on though. He was not obsessed with Max. Bradley Uppercrust III was obsessed with no one but himself! Wait, that sounds narcissistic. Ignore that.

“Gammas, let’s go.” Brad said walking away from the scene. The other two immediately straightened up, following in tow. Suck ups. But now that he’s seen Max, he wonders where he was going. He means they were going the same direction after all. He guesses it doesn’t matter now.

As they were walking down the street they saw a new arcade had recently opened up. It was actually like a mega arcade. There were over 500+ games and there was a food court. So of course Bradley and the other Gammas had to go there. It was the perfect hang out spot. He called everyone up in they were there within 5 minutes.

The games were pretty cool. Brad won the most games of course, though that was probably because the other guys let him win, except for Tank.

Things got interesting when they started betting. It wasn’t monetary, things could get ugly quick, just silly things like, if you lose you have to drink mustard juice or the loser has to tie the winner’s shoes for a week. Now people had more incentive not to let Bradley win. He still won against them though. He was good at video games after all, though he preferred outdoor games.

They decided to take a break and eat at the food court. The food wasn’t half bad. It was way too overpriced though, 7 dollars for a hot dog is ridiculous. The amount of complaints he heard in the past 20 minutes was insane, even if they were justified. In the end everyone still ended up ordering something.

Laughter, talking, and loud chewing filled the room. Brad was enjoying himself. Everyone else was as well it seemed. Until he spotted a familiar black tuft of hair. A smile spread across Bradley’s face. In his mind he started scheming. Maybe he could have a minion throw some food at him, one of the machines “accidentally” gets unplugged, a customer files a complaint against him, or-

“Why do you have your scheming face on baby?” Tank said, cutting off his train of thought. Bradley didn’t even know he moved right next to him.

“Because I’m scheming of course. Hey which would be worse, having all your tickets stolen or having your high scores deleted.”

“Why don’t you just leave the guy alone? Things have finally started to calm down and you’re over here trying to fan the flames.”

“Hey, not all fires need to be put out.”

“I’m serious baby.”

Brad grumbled. Why wouldn’t Tank just let him have his fun? Oh right, he and the Goof boy were on good terms. How annoying. “Fine, Tank, I’ll leave him alone.”

“Good, now how about a round of street fighter?”

“You’re so on!”

“Loser has to wear those grandma sweaters at goodwill.”

“But they’re so ugly, and the material is awful.”

“You better not lose then.”

So far he’d lost 3 bets. His list of things to do consisted of taking Charlie out for ice cream, 3rd wheeling Ben so he wouldn’t feel nervous at his date, and wearing a grandma sweater. Not too bad in his opinion. Especially considering all the bets he’s won. No chores for a week, someone’s doing his essay for English, and he gets to choose where everyone eats out for 3 months. This isn’t even the full list!

As he was strolling around he spotted a racing game. It had a car seat and a wheel, like a real car. “Oh I’ve heard about this one! It’s apparently a high tech game where the seats are able to move, and there’s ultra high graphics with speakers that can blow your ears off!” Someone said, Bradley couldn’t tell who. But from the sounds of it this was his type of game.

He wasted no time strolling to the game, there were two seats for two people. Right as he was about to sit a black blur came to crash in his seat. “Dude this is the new crash odyssey game I was talking about! PJ you have to play with me.”

Brad’s face morphed into a frown before reforming into his usual smile. Just as he opened his mouth to speak he felt a hand on his shoulder. Tank was there shaking his head.

Well screw that. He was here first. His hand was literally on the seat. “Max, now I don’t know if you have problems with your vision but I was pretty clearly about to sit down. So I’d appreciate it if you could, y’know, get out of the seat.”

Max looked up from his seat. “Sorry dude, snooze you lose I guess.”

Bradley felt his eye twitch. From the corner of his eye he saw PJ try to discreetly slide into the seat. He sent a nasty glare his way. Instead of dragging him by his ears out of the seat like he should be doing, he opted for standing to the side and waiting for them to finish. Like a mature person.

What wasn’t mature was his heckling. “Wow good job on crashing into a wall!” “You really didn’t see that boulder?” “Are you trying to let him win?” “I’ve seen puppies drive better than you!” “I would never let that happen to me.” The guys joined in on the jesting. Well except for Tank who said he wanted no part in this.

Max ended up losing the race. PJ looked proud, patting himself on the back. “You know what Bradley, if you think you can do better than me then go ahead and race against me.” Max said, there was a certain spark in his eye, Brad couldn’t help but like it.

“Fine, but how about we place a wager?” A smirk formed across his face.

“A wager? Fine, what’s your terms?” The other boy's interest was peaked.

“If I win you and your friends have to do whatever we ask for a day.” A lot of whoops came from the Gammas.

“Well if I win all of your Gamma buddies have to dress as girls for a day, including you Bradley.” Dead silence followed.

“Fine, we have a deal.” They shook hands and Brad walked over to the other seat. PJ scrambled out of it seat and he settled in. “Get ready to lose, freshman.”

The game was actually better than Brad expected. The way he twisted and turned made him feel like he was actually in the game. He heard a few laughs from the Goof himself. He only remembered their little competition after Max passed him. They spent the whole game swapping between first and second place. In the end a split second difference put Max in front of him causing him to lose.

A roar of groans came from behind the two. “Looks like you’re no match for me.” Max said, smiling. “Can’t wait to see you all dressed up tomorrow, ladies.” He winked before walking off with PJ. The weird part is that Bradley couldn’t be upset about it. Yeah he had lost the bet but he had fun doing it. Fun with Max? How bizarre. What was even stranger was the fact he wanted to race him again, just for the fun of it.

——————
Never mind, he was not having fun anymore. Throughout the house you could see gamma boys dressed in skirts, dresses, and crop tops. Totally emasculating. Some guys made it work though. A few even had fun dressing like this. Not Bradley though.

He was wearing a blue mini skirt with a white turtleneck. It was his older sister’s(he accidentally packed it with his own clothes.) She bought it specifically because it matched her eyes and therefore matched Brad’s eyes. Y’know, cause they have the same eyes.

The worst part about it was that he had to go to class in this. Sure he could skip like most other guys were doing, but this was the one class he struggled in. Economics, yuck. He had to mentally prepare himself. Maybe he didn’t look that bad? Yeah no, he looked awful.

Thankfully Tank had a car to drive them both. Was the campus only like a 5 minute walk away from here? Yes. But was Bradley gonna walk all 5 minutes and let people see him like this? Hell no. Tank had gone to get them some coffee and was supposed to be here in a few minutes. Brad opted for waiting outside, it was getting a little too stuffy in here for him.

Bad decision on his part because it was cold. Like, very cold. Like it had been for the past two weeks. He honestly should’ve anticipated this. Maybe because he was wearing a skirt and a shirt that was a bit too thin he was colder than usual. There were some guys up front who were completely unbothered. In fact, they were out there playing hopscotch. He means seriously how old are you?

His phone lit up from a notification. Tank would be there in 2 minutes. Brad moved closer to the front of the house. It was like fate really hated him because a familiar van came strolling by. The van slowed down in front of the house.

“Hey, looking good there ladies!” Bobby cackled. He looked like he had seen the funniest thing ever. At least one of them was getting a kick out of this. PJ was in the back seat and snapped a photo of everyone. Great, now they had a photo of him like this.

“What are you guys even doing here?” Brad said, where the hell was Tank at? He needed an escape from this situation.

“Just making sure you held up your end of the deal, might I say you’re looking pretty hot there.” Max chimed in, he clicked his tongue pointing finger guns at him. Then they drove off laughing all the way. Honestly all of them can kiss his ass. In a rude way, not a sexual, weird way you freaks.

Tank finally pulled up after like a million years. Brad got in and slammed the door shut.

“What’s got you down baby?” He asked. Tank himself was wearing a dress, heels, and of course, a jacket.

“Just drive Tank.”

———————
In a boys dorm

“So here comes Bradley walking down the street right? He has his boys, Charles and, uh, Slooth? Well they’re looking all big and bad y’know how Bradley is. Then they see the Goofy kid. Brad just completely knocks him down, we’re talking full on face plant-“ A guy with a red hat says. Using his hands to map the story out.

“That is not how it happened, you're over exaggerating.” A guy with glasses cut him off.

“-as I was saying. So here’s Max just completely laid out on the floor and y’all know Max. He does not play like that.”

“Do we know Max?” Some guy slouched on the couch spoke up.

“So Max gets up in Brad’s face, he’s like “Hey, what the hell did you push me for?!” And Brad’s like “Sorry shorty, I didn’t see you there.” And after that it was full blown arguing, I mean you could hear them yelling for miles.”

“No they were not yelling, it was just a little squabble.” Glasses said, re-organizing his book case.

“I’m telling you guys they absolutely hate each other, their beef is deep man, I’m talking unfixable.” Red hat says leaning back in his seat.

“Oh please, they literally had a date at the arcade today.” Glasses rolled his eyes.

“What?” The other boys said in unison.

“Yeah, they were playing one of the racing games.”

“You must’ve seen some other people, cuz there is no way Bradley and Max went on a date!” Couch perks up.

“Well I’m sorry to disappoint you but they were. This beef you're talking about is non-existent.” Glasses crossed his arms.

“I can’t ride with you on this one dude.” Red hat scratches his head.

“Yeah that’s just totally unbelievable.” Couch says laying back down.

“Whatever, hey do want to watch-”

Chapter Text

Max Goof had piercings.

Maybe Bradley had been hallucinating. He must have eaten something bad. Or maybe he’s had one too many skating accidents. There was no way this just wasn’t possible.

He tapped Tank on the shoulder. “Hey are you seeing what I’m seeing?” He said, pointing out the boy.

“What? The piercings? He’s had those for a while now.” Tank says, and then goes back to eating his food.

Bradley wanted to deny it. This couldn’t be! But there they were in all their glory, two metal balls sat under his lips. Since when did he have those?! And why did it seem like Brad was the only one who was shocked??

“Well they’re fake right? Like there’s no way he actually got them pierced.” Yes of course! He probably just glued two little beads on to look cool. Well Max, they didn’t look cool, they looked fake and ugly.

“Nope they’re real, I’m surprised you’ve never seen the holes before.”

He was starting to feel faint. They were actually real? Like no joke? Who just does that to their face? Willingly? Brad can almost puke at the thought of needles poking through his skin. He was with his sister when she got her ears pierced. Needless to say he is not going down that road.

“Why did you want to get some?” Tank asked, looking at him.

Yeah right, his parents may let him get away with a lot but piercings? On his face? Grounds for disownment. He’s surprised Max’s dad even allowed him to get those. Anyways, he doesn’t think piercings would fit his face well. He was destined to be piercingless.

“I think I’d rather die than get those. Seriously the second he walks into a job interview they’ll turn him away in an instant. Honestly it’s like he wants to fail at life.”

Tank grunted in response and they went back to their normal conversation. Though he wasn’t really present for it. His mind kept wandering back to the piercings. He really needed to snap out of it.

You know how he said he needed to snap out of it? Yeah he needed to do that now. Every time he saw Max he zoned in on his piercings. He didn’t know why he was so enraptured in them. It was just two little balls! Except they weren’t just balls, they were hoops sometimes, other times they were spikes.

He wondered how they felt. Did they stab at his gums? Could he feel them move around? How’d he kiss people with them in?

Suddenly he started choking on his water. Where the hell did that thought come from? He rubbed at his temples. This was getting ridiculous, the more he thought about the other guy the weirder his thoughts seemed to get.

Whatever, he should start getting ready. He was going to see the new scream movie with some people. There was some sophomore who wanted to have a little get together and invited everyone to the movie. As long as they RSVP’d beforehand. Not everyone got to go, a movie theater only has so many seats after all. Brad was one of the lucky few who got a seat in time.

Though he didn’t really consider himself lucky, I mean sitting next to a whole bunch of strangers the entire time wasn’t exactly his thing. Well he could probably make a few new friends/minions and he was getting a free movie out of it so that was nice.

When he got there the line for snacks was long with 3 gs. So it was longgg. He debated getting snacks at all. But who watches movies without any snacks? Psychopaths that’s who. He dragged his way into the line. Maybe he could bribe people to let him in front of them? No he had to be careful, he was on a strict budget of $3000. He couldn’t let any of it go to waste.

After like 20 minutes, he got to the middle of the line and he was about ready to tap out. The movie was gonna start in like 10 minutes and he did not want to squeeze through a bunch of people to get to his seat. The movie theater walk of shame he likes to call it.

Leaving the line now after waiting so long seemed pointless. He could be patient, he could wait, for only about 5 minutes. After that he’d actually have to start bribing people, budget be damned.

The guys behind him seemed tired of waiting to. He was so bored he started zoning into other people’s conversations. A familiar pattern of “Wow, you’re looking great tonight! Your-“ Insert random clothing article here. “-really complements-“ Insert random body part here. Then someone would giggle and then the true purpose of the conversation came out. “Hey, would you mind if I cut in front of you?” And whoever they were talking to would say yes and the cycle repeated. Pretty cut and dry method.

After listening to this for a while he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned his head and was greeted with a familiar sight. “You look really gr- Bradley?!” Max exclaimed. Of course he was the one cutting the line.

“Hello Max, I see you’re here as well. You don’t seem to have your little crew, where could they be?” Brad said, looking around.

“They already went inside, they left me in charge of snack duty. Honestly I expected you to be surrounded by your Gamma buddies.” He said leaning against the railing.

“There’s probably some roaming around here somewhere, I didn’t bother checking.” He said dismissively. Then he noticed something. Max had his piercings in. Spikes were mounted right under his lips. The overhead lighting reflected off of them drawing attention to them. Brad was finding it hard to look away.

“Uh, dude the line’s moving.”

Brad turned and indeed the line was moving. He quickly closed the gap acting casual. How embarrassing.

“So, Bradley, you’re here by yourself?”

“Yes I suppose, why’d you ask?” He looked down at the guy.

“Oh no reason.” The other boy said, looking away.

Okay this was awkward. Why were they talking? Was Max so bored he wanted to talk to Brad? No way, last time he checked Max wasn’t interested in holding a casual conversation with him. So what was he trying to achieve by striking up a conversation?

“I never knew you were into scream movies.” Yeah ‘cause he never told him, because they never talked, unless they were arguing of course.

“Well there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me Max.” Usually that’s where the conversation would stop, then Bradley kept going. “The Scream franchise is one of the funniest of this century. I mean there’s no other media like it. It pokes fun at idiotic ways of normal horror movies yet it keeps a plot of its own. What’s there not to like about them?” Brad had a bad tendency to ramble. He wasn’t really lectured on it growing up and it had become a habit. One that clearly wasn’t stopping any time soon. He went on and on about the Scream movies which eventually devolved into a conversation about how absurd horror movies were.

“Sorry to cut the conversation short but, uh, it’s my turn to get food, I’ll catch you later.” He said waving as he walked up to the counter. It was kinda strange how quickly he left.

It took Brad a good moment before he realized what was wrong. How the hell did Max get in front of him? That little brat distracted him so he could go first. This is exactly why they didn’t get along, seriously, who get someone to indulge in their interests just to cut in front of them. Low blow Max. Low blow.

Unfortunately, Brad ended up having to do the walk of shame to his seat. And on top of that he missed the opening scene. Whatever, at least he didn’t miss too much. From his seat he could see Max whispering to his friends. His piercings moved with his mouth. Brad should’ve known he was up to no good. Those spikes were really just devil horns.

Throughout the movie he saw Max out of the corner of his eye. So what if he let his eyes linger? He was being distracting damn it! Anyways now he had a new problem, he needed to use the bathroom. It’s not his fault the super maximum world destroyer drink held so much soda. He did the walk of shame for the second time to go to the bathroom.

After taking care of business he washed his hands. He wasn’t one of those dirty heathens after all. Looking up at the mirror he noticed 2 things. 1. He had a hair out of place. 2. Max was leaning on a wall, like a creep. Did Brad jump a bit, yes. Is he gonna talk about it? No, never, in fact delete the image from your head.

“What are you doing here?” He said, still a bit startled.

“You've been looking at me.” Max said with a deadpan tone.

Yikes, was he really that obvious? Sure sometimes he’d stare for long periods of time not paying attention to anyone or anything around him, but it couldn’t be that bad right?

“I have no idea wha-“

“I literally saw you do it, we literally made eye contact, Bobby, PJ, and his girlfriend all saw you doing it!”

Okay maybe it was that bad. “I’m sorry I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to look at other people now, I’ll just sew my eyes shut.”

“Oh stop with the dramatics, what did I have something on my face?”

Yes and it’s very distracting. “No, I was just zoning out.”

“In the same place, multiple times? Come on, you don’t actually think I’d believe that do you?” Max said. As he was talking he walked up to Brad until he was right in front of him. He wonders if the jewelry was actually sharp. If he could just reach out and touch them…“Tell me what you were actually looking at.”

Brad snapped out of his little trance. He sighed, might as well tell the truth now before things escalated. “…piercings.” He muttered.

“Wait what?” Max backed up a bit.

“Your piercings, I was looking at your piercings.” He said with new found force.

A dumbfounded look came across the boy's face. Then he chuckled before bursting out laughing. Now Brad was confused. What was so funny?

“My piercings?! That’s what you were ogling at? Jeez Bobby was so off.” He said, clutching his stomach.

“What did Bobby think I was doing?” This Bobby character was starting to get on his nerves.

“Oh, he thought you were scheming, I mean he was totally convinced. I didn’t think you were, you were wearing your scheming face.” Since when did he have a scheming face?

“So what about my piercings was so interesting that you were staring at them all night?” He said after calming himself down.

Why was he so distracted by them? Maybe it was the sudden change in appearance, or the fact he’d seen no one with them. What was the point of doing that to oneself? “I just don’t understand why you’d get fake piercings. I mean they’re total job killers-” he got cut off by Max.

“They’re not fake, they’re real see.” He one of the spikes out revealing the puncture underneath. Then he slid it back in.

Bradley felt faint, he seriously has holes in his face?! “Why would you get those? I mean seriously out of all the other places you could choose you chose there.”

“Okay, Brad. Where would you prefer I had gotten pierced?” He said, looks like Brad had chosen to be irritable.

“Well I personally wouldn’t be caught dead with a piercing, but if I had to choose… it’d probably be an ear one. You know, like a normal person.” Not that he was ever gonna get any. He can only imagine the amount of taunting he’d get.

“If you’re implying I’m not a normal person you’re mistaken. A lot of people get snake bites.”

Snake bites? Those just sounded like trouble. “Yeah right, then why haven’t I seen anyone with them?”

“Because you live under a rock.”

“No I don’t!”

Max just raised his eyebrows at him. “Name one other piercing other than an ear one, or the one I just named.”

That was actually hard to answer. “…the bull one! See I know piercings.” He said smugly.

“It’s called a septum piercing, Bradley. Not a bull piercing.” He looked at him unamused.

He starts heading out the bathroom. “I’m getting out of here, I need to refill my drink.”

Brad doesn’t know why he followed Max into the lobby or how they ended up standing in the corner with Max showing him different types of piercings on his phone but he didn’t mind the company.

“See this one here’s an industrial piercing, that’s an Ashley, but this one right here is a smiley. Never ever get a smiley piercing. It can literally rip that part of your mouth.” What the fuck? How is that even legal.

“I wasn’t planning on it.” From the way that thing looked? Yeah no thanks.

Suddenly Max’s eyes widened. “Dude we’ve been out here for 20 minutes. We should really start heading back.” How’d time pass so quickly?

Before he walked into the theater room he looked back at Brad. “Hey, next time I see you, maybe I could show you more of my piercings, yeah?” Then he made his way into the theater with Bradley following behind.

Wait- more piercings?

——————————
In the movie parking lot.

“Bradley was totally checking Max out the whole week!” The girl driving said pulling out of the parking lot.

“I know right?! I mean he couldn’t keep his eyes off of him.” A girl slurred through her braces.

“What do you think they were doing in the bathroom?”

“Well if it’s anything I’m thinking of then… let’s just say I can’t say it out loud.”

“Maybe they were just using the bathroom?” The girl in the back seat piped up.

“…Oh please, they were gone for like 20 minutes, you’re telling me they were just using the bathroom?” Braces said with sarcasm.

“I-I mean! It's possible…” Back seat stuttered.

“Yeah right, they were probably making out in there.” Braces said.

“You're so scandalous!” The driver looks at her covering her mouth.

“What? You know that it’s true!”

“We so have to tell the club.”

“What club?” Back seat asked.

“The School Relationship Club obviously!”

“I thought they managed the school’s relationships with other schools and the community?” Backseat scratched her head.

“No silly, it talks about the students and staff’s personal relationships. Too bad it only has 3 members… Hey, do you want to join?!”

“Um sure I guess?”

“Yay a new member!”

“We need to get you caught up. So you know the theology teacher and…”