Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Goodbye Haruka-Chan!” Minori exclaimed, waving at Haruka as she opened the door descending from the rooftop, before disappearing down the staircase, the door slowly closing after she had left. MORE MORE JUMP has just finished a practice session, the two older idols leaving a few seconds before Minori. Haruka herself was a bit confused in why she hasn’t left the rooftop yet.

It had been a pretty productive session, the group performing the songs they had chosen for their next show without flaw, and even starting the choreography on a new song. Airi was extremely pleased with the progress they have made and so was Shizuku. But Minori… she was just so proud of everyone, and it almost seemed like she couldn’t believe she had come that far. Every time she was reminded of how far they have come; she would beam so bright that everything around her just seemed illuminated by her happiness. It was cute, adorable even.

Haruka had always founded Minori adorable. Theway her storm grey eyes would light up with excitement or happiness, and in most cases, both. The way her face scrunched up when she accidentally ate some wasabi with her sashimi. The way her ears would turn a brilliant shade of red when flustered. It was just the cutest things Haruka has ever witnessed.

“You talk about her as if you’re in love with her.” Airi had joked once when Haruka was talking (more like rambling) about Minori to her. This made Haruka think. Hard. She would think about what Airi said day and night, trying to find out how she felt towards Minori.

Yes, she was the light of Haruka’s life, and she was the thing that would get Haruka out of bed each day and every time Haruka saw her, it felt like her heart was going to burst out of her ribs, but that doesn’t necessary mean that she was in love… right? Well, even if she was in love, she can’t just expect Minori to reciprocate those feelings.

Minori had always and probably always will love Haruka like a fan, not like a lover. Haruka sees it in her eyes. Every praise said is said with eyes of admiration and fascination, not love. That’s fine, Haruka would be fine, even if Minori would never be hers.

Haruka suddenly felt something in her throat, bringing herself back to the present. Trying to dislodge whatever this was, she coughed hard, the cough coming out more chestly than she would’ve liked. She had a napkin she had kept in her pocket in hand, yet nothing seemed to be on it, and she could still feel it. Haruka would try once more, this time successful. She looked down at her napkin, about to scrunch it up and walk to the nearest bin, but then realized the contents wasn’t what she had expected it to be. In the middle of the napkin was two petals, both the same shade of light orange. They were shaped like hearts and were not that big, and somehow, they were not crinkled.

‘That’s weird… it’s definitely not normal to be coughing petals…’ Haruka felt a drop of sweat fall from her cheek as she stared at the petals with confusion and worry.

She folded up the tissue, carefully tucking it into a pocket. She’ll research about it later. Right now, she needs to try concentrate on getting home.

“YOU HAVE BEEN WHAT?!” Airi’s voice ringed loudly through Haruka’s speakers, making her unconsciously wince.

“Do you really have to be that loud?” Haruka said, one hand holding her phone and the other tapping a pen against her chin.

She had made it home and was now in her room, and instead of doing homework, she had decided to call Airi. The petals had been dwelling in Haruka’s mind since she saw them, and she just wanted to get it off her chest.

“IT ISN’T NORMAL FOR SOMEONE TO COUGH PETALS! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE LOUD!” Haruka had to admit, Airi’s ability to project her voice was admirable.

“Fair point.” Haruka said, leaning back in her chair, keeping the bottom of her phone near her mouth.

Haruka heard the other girl sigh over the phone, before she kept talking.

“How long has this been happening?” Airi seemed to be trying to keep her voice under control.

“It just started today on the rooftop, after you all left.” Haruka said, starting to twirl her pen absentmindedly in her hand.

Silence from Airi’s end. Though, Haruka could swear she could hear the slight clacks of a laptop keyboard.

“Huh…” The recognizable voice of Airi echoed through the room.

“What is it?” Haruka asked, trying not to let the anxiety seep into her voice.

“I just searched up what coughing up petals could mean, and it came up with an answer.” Airi’s tone made Haruka’s worry just intensify.

“It’s called Hanahaki Disease. It makes the victim cough up petals if they are experiencing one-sided love…” The silence after this was deafening.

The pen in Haruka’s hands slide out and bounced on the floor, the only thing breaking the silence that filled the room.

“W… What are the consequences?” Haruka asked, sitting back up, her elbows on her knees.

“Uhh… it will stop if the beloved of the victim returns the feelings, but if they don’t love y- the victim back, the victim will die.” Airi said hesitantly, “You could get it removed through surgery, but that will make any romantic feelings for the beloved to disappear.” Airi added on.

Haruka felt her stomach drop. Three choices. Die, get her feelings reciprocated or lose feelings for “the beloved”. She was so done for.

“So… can I ask who this ‘beloved’ of yours is?” Airi said, though there was no teasing in her voice, somehow. She sounded genuinely concerned and curious.

Haruka was silent for a second, debating if she should tell the other idol. Releasing a sigh, she made her decision.

“Minori. It’s Minori.”

“I KNEW IT!” Airi’s voice boomed through the room again, “I KNEW YOU LIKED HER! YOU CANNOT TRICK TSUNDERE GIRL AIRI!”

Haruka found herself chuckling at this reaction from Airi, despite the direness of the situation she was in. Airi started to list every clue she had seen before Haruka admitted her love for Minori, and the topic of the Hanahaki disease seemed to fade, though the aura from the conversation still lingered.

Well, Haruka shouldn’t try bring the mood down again, she can do research about this disease in her own time. She listened to Airi continue to list the clues, which were recited with incredible detail.

Haruka found this amusing, but every mention of Minori made it feel like vines where tightening around her lungs.

And she no longer knew if the pain was her feelings or actual pain.

Chapter Text

Haruka could barely get any sleep that night. Her thoughts wouldn’t stop whirling around in her head. Die, get surgery, or get Minori to fall in love with her. All options were not ideal, except for trying to get Minori to love her back, but that will be hard. She had a few coughing fits throughout the night as well, but she managed to keep them quiet enough for no one to notice.

By the time Haruka got to sleep, it was only a few hours before her alarm went.

Her phone buzzed on her table next to a pile of orange flower petals, lighting up the dark room. Haruka started to blink the sleep from her eyes, sitting up and rubbing her face. She could feel the eye bags hanging from under her eyes, but she tried her hardest to ignore the burning feeling. Grabbing her phone, she turned off the alarm and watched as the screen turned dark again, plunging the room back into darkness.

Haruka didn’t want to go to school today. In fact, she didn’t feel like doing anything today. She just wanted to lay in her bed all day, either alone with her thoughts or drowning them out by doom scrolling. Maybe she could feign being sick to skip out on school today. Wait, no… that’s a cowardly move.

Haruka sucked in a breath, sighing it out seconds later.

“Guess I have to go.” She said to herself, sitting up and tumbling out of her bed.

Switching on her light, she walked in front of her mirror, looking at her dishevelled self. Haruka’s hair was sticking out in places she thought was impossible; it practically looked like a squirrel had rummaged through her hair and made it into a nest. Her eyes were dull, and the bags starting to sag under them were certainly not helping. Who knew that one night of worrying and lack of sleep would cause such horrendous eye bags… Though, lucky for Haruka, this was nothing a little makeup, brushing and pep-talks couldn’t fix. Right?

Around forty-five minutes later, Haruka returned to the mirror, now in her school uniform and her appearance all touched up. She made sure not a single strand of hair stood out of place and the shimmer had returned to her eyes. Hopefully this was enough for everyone to think everything was normal and perfect and that there wasn’t a girl who is head over heels and coughing petals for a person who doesn’t even like her back.

Haruka had no time to do her daily run this morning, she had woken up too late to do that without disrupting the rest of her schedule. Maybe she could run to school to make up for the missed running session. Her parents were still worried though…

“Haruka, you didn’t go for your run today… why is that?” Her mother asked in a worried tone as Haruka left her room and took a granola bar from a cabinet with haste.

“I stayed up a bit too late, so I woke up a bit later than normal.” Haruka lied through her teeth, but her mother suspected nothing.

“Alright, stay safe, honey.” Haruka’s mother slid her bento box across the kitchen counter towards Haruka, who had started chewing down on the granola bar.

It was nice of her mother to pack her lunch this morning, as normally Haruka does it herself. Though, she still wondered why her mother packed it this morning. It isn’t much to worry about though; getting to school on time was Haruka’s main priority right now.

“I will, don’t worry.” Haruka replied after finishing the granola bar and quickly slipping the bento box into her bag.

She felt her mother’s eyes on her as she exited the house, and Haruka knew that her mother had noticed something.
‘I guess a mother’s instinct is always right.’ Haruka thought to herself as she started to jog down the street.

Haruka had underestimated how hard it would be to get through this day. She has every single class with Minori. Every. Single. One. It would practically be impossible for Haruka to not see Minori. Just thinking about classes made her throat feel uncomfortable and chest tighten up. Haruka even passed Airi in the hallways, who shot Haruka a sympathetic look.

‘Brighten up, Kiritani.’ Haruka internally slapped her cheeks, ‘It’s just 6 hours and 30 minutes I need to survive. Then I can go home and… oh.’

Haruka had somehow forgotten about practice.

‘How could I of all people forget about practice?’ Haruka started berating herself, as she entered her homeroom and sat at her allocated seat, ‘This is just embarrassing and depressing.’

She placed her head on her arms, deep in thought now.

‘I have already told Airi about this, so should I tell Shizuku?’ Haruka pondered, staring down at the smooth desk under her arms, ‘Maybe Airi has already told her. Airi trusts Shizuku more than anyone else in the whole world.’

Haruka let out a sigh, knowing this is the first of many sighs yet to come.

She could hear the faint melody that was Minori’s voice starting to get louder, her shoes lightly tapping the floor as she got closer. Haruka could imagine the bounce in Minori’s feet as she approached the classroom, a bright smile painted on her basically perfect face. Haruka found herself longing to see Minori again: her silky, light brown hair, her storm grey eyes, her perfect hands that would fit right into Haruka’s.

She was perfect in Haruka’s eyes.

Suddenly, Haruka jerked up, something caught in her throat. She knew they were petals, and she also knew that she did not want to make a scene. Her homeroom teacher hadn’t come yet, so Haruka still had time to excuse herself and dash out of the classroom.

Haruka sprinted to the bathrooms, where she would lean over a sink, hacking so hard that she could taste blood. There were so many petals, too many. Panic started to overwhelm Haruka’s thoughts as she stared at the bloodied petals in the sink.

She needed to choose how to end this disease and she needed to do it fast.

Chapter Text

Hello friends!

So sorry to spring this upon you guys so suddenly, but I have remade the first chapter of the fic after finding myself unsatisfied with the direction in which the fic is taking. I'm so sorry for any inconvenience this has caused! After this is posted, the new fic will be posted to this platform within a few minutes (that being 5 to 60 minutes 😭). Again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience, and I hope you can enjoy the remake of this fic! God bless Minoharu <3

Sincerely,

Bedhead