Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There’s much that Nat’s come to expect to find on her walk home.

Needles, passed out neighbors, abandoned bikes and once even a duffle bag stuffed full of monopoly money. 

What Nat doesn’t expect to find, walking home a little tipsy after Jackie’s party with Van slouched beside her, was a box of cats.

It’s something you would see in a movie, one of those like fucking Benji or Aristocats or whatever. Nat doesn’t know, that’s Van’s department. She wants to just leave them, wants to crawl into bed and go to sleep, but Van takes one look at them, and know their golden retriever eyes are wide and begging Nat to do something. 

Nat is too drunk to say no, and sighs aggressively, picking up the box and- shit, is it heavy. 

The trek back to Van’s trailer is long after that, not that it’s more than fifteen minutes, but Nat keeps having to pause to adjust the box of cats or to take a breather, and Van keeps stumbling and wandering off. Now, because she’s the best friend Van could ever ask for (direct quote, though a touch hard to understand through their slurred mutterings), she drags their ass back home with the cats, gets them both settled on the couch outside and looks up the number for the vet. 

She sends a picture of the box of cats, with the message I found these. When can I bring them in?

Then Van says, “I’m gonna puke.” And Nat abandons everything to get them away from anything stainable, rubbing their back so they can get it all out. 

By the time she checks her phone, Van is tucked into their bed snoring like a chainsaw.

-

3:19 am

+(212) 458-2571

OMG!!

Anytime please that would be amazing :))))))

Nat

Oh

Wrong number 

+(212) 458-2571

Wait no

I wantt one

Nat

This number was listed as the vets

+(212) 458-2571

I take good care of cats

For free

Nat

No

+(212) 458-2571

No one needs 8 cats

Ur being selfish

Nat

Bye

-

She turns off her phone and lays down on the thin mattress tucked beside Van’s bed.

The next morning Van’s groggy and hungover and they still have eight random cats.

“Where did those come from?” Van asks, wiping their mouth after brushing their teeth. “I mean don’t get me wrong they’re adorable, but seriously, where are they from.”

Nat glared at them. “You mean you don’t fucking remember begging me to pick them up and take them home?”

Van gives her a sheepish grin and rubs the back of their neck. Shakes their head apologetically. 

“Whatever.”

-

Mother fucking Yellowjackets!!!

11:24 am

Nat: [sent one picture]

Nat: i found these cats last night, anyone have any idea what to do?

Jackie: give it to me!! Pls and thx 

Jackie: wait! Brainstorm 🤯

Jackie: we could all take one, like a team bonding thing.

Nat: what about the mom?

Tai: ill take her

Nat: tai? Ur going along with this?

Tai: the mom will be easiest to take care of

Tai: have they been to the vet?

Nat: i legit found them last night

Nat: no they havent

Tai: did you even try to contact

Nat: obviously yes, dont be an asshole

Nat: the number listed on their site is an old one

Tai: so you messaged a random person?

Nat: yeah? 

Jackie: ill take the little one with the brown ear

Jackie: shauna will have the one with the little tuxedo 💞

Shauna: what am i doing?

Shauna: oh

Shauna: yea sure

Nat: i never said u could just take them

Van: y? U want them all for urself?

Nat: no loser

Nat: we don’t know what diseases they could have or anything abt taking care of them

Jackie: team bonding event to the vet !!!

-

Two hours later they all piled into Tai’s family SUV, and drove to the vet clinic. Nat sat in the back, arms crossed over her chest and slouched low. She was tasked with keeping the cats until Tai came to pick her and Van up, keeping them entertained and feeding them with an unopened can of tuna she found in her own trailer. 

She gets a notification just as Jackie’s crawling in to sit on Shauna’s lap, and she’s both confused (her friends sleep until 5 on a good day during the weekend, and everyone else she knows is here with her). So she pulls her phone from her hoodie pocket and sees an unsaved and unfamiliar number. 

-

+(212) 458-2571

So like 

I was pretty drunk last night and dont remember texting ANY of that

But drunk me is also pretty smart and has good ideas sometimes 

Are the cats still around?

Nat

Nope

Sorry dude

+(212) 458-2571

Even if I ask nicely? Or beg? I can beg I’m good at that

Nat

I bet you could

But my friends have already claimed them

+(212) 458-2571

booooooo

That’s lame tell your friends I think they’re lame

Nat

I won’t be doing that no

-

“Who are you texting?” Jackie tries to lean over her shoulder while Tai discusses something with the receptionist. Van and Mel are entertaining the cats, while Jackie and Shauna have some sort of weird staring contest. Or we’re having one, Shauna is now writing in her journal and Jackie seems to have gotten bored. 

Nat turns her phone away from Jackie. 

“No one.” She grunts, shoving it into her pocket. “Mind your own business Taylor.”

Jackie squints at her, but shrugs and turns away from her. 

-

Nearly a month later and Nat’s practically forgotten about the number she accidentally texted that night. The various Yellowjackets all adopted their cats, but for whatever god forsaken reason they flock to Natalie like a mother goose. 

It’s awful. 

Even the mother cat, taken in by Tai, was difficult for her to deal with. Being less clingy than the kittens who loved to perform little parades behind her when they all hung out at whoever’s house they decided to have a Jackie mandated play date with, but still nuzzling up to her whenever the opportunity arose. 

Now Van’s cat, Aslan (named after the lion), loved to hunt. He loved chasing birds and mice and even small squirrels when he could catch them. He was also, quite stupid, which often made it difficult for him to hunt. 

And just like the others he’d imprinted on Natalie, except it was worse since he lived not two hundred feet from her. 

It’s a cloudy Thursday morning and Nat would rather be anywhere else than staring dejectedly at the gutted robin on her front step. 

Obviously it was one of Aslans gifts. Of course it was, and she was tired of it. 

So she sends a quick text off to scan before stepping around it, not wanting to even bother at this point and rushing to the bus stop. 

-

7:41 am

Nat

Van istg

If ur cat leaves one more dead thing on my front step i am going to leave ur corpse on yours.

+(212) 458-2571

Don’t kill the current parent of my future fur baby

Nat

Oh

You again

+(212) 458-2571

rly feeling the love here thx

Nat

How did I even text you? 

+(212) 458-2571

Well I assume you have a phone

Nat

Haha you’re sooo funny

+(212) 458-2571

I try I try

So what are all the babies names?

Nat

I don’t know that I should tell you actually 

Stranger danger or wtv it is they tell us

+(212) 458-2571

Would it help u if i told you smth about me?

For example I have never had a pet before

Nat

Damn that sucks for you ig

+(212) 458-2571

It does I mourn it everyday

So 👀

Names???

Nat

Let me think about it

+(212) 458-2571

This is a betrayal just so you know

Nat

I think I’m fine with that

+(212) 458-2571

>:(

12:09 pm

Nat

Aslan

+(212) 458-2571

What about him?

Nat

that’s the name of the nightmare that leaves dead things on my porch every morning

+(212) 458-2571

omg you told me something

My faith is restored 

Nat

Youre very lenient with your faith if you got it back so fast

+(212) 458-2571

wait there was eight in the pic 

I saved it

Nat

Okay?

What about it

I dont see you making anymre trades for that info

+(212) 458-2571

HA

I knew youd play along eventually

Nat

idk how you could possibly know that

Stranger who ive never met

+(212) 458-2571

Im a prophet

Nat

sure

+(212) 458-2571

Okay what do you want to know next? Also can i get pics of my babies???

Nat

maybe

How about idk age

Just in case im talking to a grown adult that would be weird

+(212) 458-2571

im 17 so not grown

march 3rd 2007 

in case you wanted to test me

Nat

Checks out

[picture]

Thats aslan and his mom, meredith

+(212) 458-2571 liked the picture

+(212) 458-2571

I love them thnk you

-

Nat doesn’t entirely know what she was thinking entertaining the wrong number, she knows it’s probably a bad idea, but they were-endearing. Shauna would have a more descriptive word, but that’s what Nat could offer. They were earnest in their love for the cats, and wanted to know about them. They’d ask Nat to make sure they were okay at least once a week, and they continued their game of twenty questions at a more relaxed pace.

Sometimes they went days without talking, but Nat would send them a picture of a Aslan or Jackie’s cat, Bubbles. (Nat couldn’t stand the name but as Jackie told her, she forfeited naming rights when she refused to take one) 

She tried to keep the messaging to times when her friends weren’t around. On the bus rides in the morning, or after school. In empty locker rooms or in the library in study hall. 

-

11:39am

Nat

What time zone are you in btw?

You always seem to reply pretty quickly so either your sleep schedule is fucked or were close

Cat weirdo

Good morning

I’m in eastern time 

Wait since im not getting any cat info can i ask you a question?

Nat

Yeah ig thats fair

Go for it

Cat weirdo

what timezone are you in?

Nat

The same actually

Cat weirdo

Twinning fr

Ur turn

Nat

Van is going to be disappointed if i dont ask this

But what are your pronouns? I dont think it came up yet

Cat weirdo

she/her!

Are you close with van? Also i should ask urs

Nat

Practically grew up together

And she/her too btw

So whats ur favorite color

Cat weirdo

Heliotrope

Nat

Whut

Cat weirdo

Its like a purple color

Nat

Oh ur one of those ppl

Cat weirdo

What does that mean?

Nat

People who know specific shades of colors

Cat weirdo

Well im sorry i like to differentiate them 🙄

Not every purple is the same like as if i would ever say mauve is my favorite

Besides heliotrope is also a flower with a lot of healing properties, its sometimes like a painkiller and it can also be used as a dye.

Its like a sunflower

Nat

In what way?

Cat weirdo

Its one of those plants that always face the direction of the sun

-

Nat could listen to that stranger talk about flowers for hours. She almost does, before she realized she’d skipped the last two periods after lunch, just barely making it to trig before the end of the day. Panting and out of breath she slid into her seat beside Van, who looked at her weirdly.

“Dude where were you? You missed the quiz in bio.” Van whispered to her.

“Fuck me.” Nat groaned. “I uh, had study hall before lunch so I went home, and then missed the bus to get back.”

Van looked at her suspiciously, but let it go. Nat’s phone began buzzing again, probably Cat weirdo still messaging her. She should really find a new name for her.

About thirty minutes into class, Van paused her work to look curiously at Nat and her phone buzzing every five minutes or so. 

“Who’s even texting you?” They ask. 

“Just the group chat probably.” Nat mutters and shrugs. She hasn’t mentioned wrong number since the night they found the cats. “Not the team one, Kevyn and them have been sending stupid reddit memes back and forth all day.” 

They accept the explanation and go back to pretending to do their work. 

-

5:12 pm

Cat weirdo

What time were you born?

Nat

I already gave you my bday?

Cat weirdo

No like time of day

Nat

Idk I think my mom said like 6 once?

Cat weirdo

Mkay thx

So like also where?

Nat

if ur trying to figure out where I live you’re gonna have to try harder than that

I was born in Italy clearly I dont live there anymore

Cat weirdo

well it wasn’t to find out where u live rn

No trust in me smh I would not be subtle abt it

Nat

Alright why are you asking then?

And I think I get 2 questions 

Cat weirdo

Actually only one since you want to know why I’m asking

I wanted to know your big three!!

Nat

My what

Cat weirdo

Zodiac signs y’know like the sun moon and rising

Nat

Oh ur into astrology too?

Damn might have to stop texting you I don’t think I can be friends with someone like that

Cat weirdo

Asshole

Wait you think we’re friends?

Also you don’t have any questions left

Nat

Well yeah id say were friends. We’re not strangers anymore at least

Fuck you I got one back, what’s my big three then?

Cat weirdo

Scorpio Sun, Libra Moon,Taurus Rising 

Nat

cool

I have exactly no idea what any of that means

-

“It’s all just bullshit though, right.” Tai says, blankly staring at an increasingly annoyed Shauna. 

It’s lunch, and Kevyn skipped and Travis is sick, so Nat sat with her team. Tai and Shauna have been having an argument apparently since they left class, and Nat is getting just the beginning of a brewing storm among the team. 

“Well kind of, but like-” 

“Just because you had a Percy Jackson phase doesn’t mean you’re a star expert.” Van pokes, they’re teasing, it’s lighthearted of course. Shauna still turns her pout on them.

“I know that, it doesn’t matter anyway.” Shauna sighs and grabs her lunch from her bag. Nat forgot how could Shauna’s mom’s cooking was and now she’s happy he sat with the team today. 

She takes a carrot from Shauna’s bag, and gets a light hit in return that she ignores. “What are you arguing about anyway?”

“Jackie’s at a yearbook meeting so Shauna’s bored and taking it out on Tai.” Van explains, Nat nods while Shauna looks downright offended. 

“I didn’t even start it!” She says. “A friend and I-”

“You have friends that aren’t us?”

“You have friends that aren’t Jackie?”

“You have friends?” 

“Fuck you all.” Shauna flips Nat off in particular. “We were talking about like astrology or whatever.”

“Yeah, like zodiacs.” Tai continues, with the added touch of her own opinion. “It’s bullshit, the month you were born determines your entire personality? Doesn’t make any sense, it’s just a way to excuse weird and shitty behavior.” 

“It’s not-ugh!” Shauna tries to protest. 

Nat shrugs. “I don’t know, it’s kind of interesting.” 

Tai gapes. “You think that? Nat no, please you’re so level headed you’re supposed to be on my side here!”

“And leave Shipman here all alone?” She steals another carrot, Shauna glares but lets it happen. “Plus, it’s not only the month. Like, the fucking, time and place right? For your moon sign and rising.” All three are looking at her like she grew an extra head. “What? What the fuck is going on, did I do something?”

“No it’s just, I didn’t think you’d know anything about it.”

“Yeah, well, I do.” 

“So what do those even mean?” Van seems to have found a new appreciation. “The moon and rising?”

“Well I guess there’s like three?” Nat looks at Shauna for confirmation even though she already knows. “Sun is the one everyone knows-”

“I don’t. Cause, you know, it’s bullshit.”

“-but like the position the moon is and the sunrise or whatever is the other two.” 

“So what’s mine?” Van asks, leaning forwards.

“I don’t know, I can’t just-make it up.” Nat pushes them back into their own chair. “There’s like a thing you have to do, figure out where the sun and moon were when you were born.”

“Do you know yours?” Shauna asks. “I don’t think I even know mine.” 

“Yeah Scorpio Sun, uh the rising was taurus and the moon was-fuck, I forget let me-” She pulls out her phone, holding it close to her chest and away from Shauna and Van’s prying eyes. She scrolls through her messages, the paragraphs upon paragraphs of Cat (Nat’s new nickname for her, probably rude to keep calling her a weirdo) talking about it. 

It was a couple days ago now that they had the conversation so Nat has to go pretty far back.

“Damn, I can’t find it.” She says, after she catches sight of the obnoxious amount of heart emojis Cat had been sending her the other night, having taken to saying goodnight and goodmorning every day. She blushing, and Shauna most definitely saw one of Cat’s flirty drunk message from the other night that Nat was trying not to think about too hard.

They let the conversation drop when Jackie comes and slumps down next to Shauna, laying her head on her shoulder with puppy dog eyes and a deep pout, complaining about being just exhausted. 

-

12:52 am

Cat weirdo

Did you know that hummingbirds hibernate every night bcs otherwise theyd die

Nat

Good morning to you too ig

Cat weirdo

morning!!! 🥰

oh i had a question

what am i saved as in ur phone? or is it still jsut the number?

Nat

Cat weirdo

Cat weirdo

omg are u fr?

thats rude 

Not to mention uncreative

Nat

ojay what am i then?

Cat weirdo

…

Nat

What am i saved as Cat Weirdo

Cat weirdo

Baby daddy 😍

Nat

What the fuck dude?

Cat weirdo

Wait sry is that weird?

I thought it was funny cause of the cats yknow

Like you found them and i want them and their like my babies

Nat

No sorry that was sharp

I was just caught off guard

Its funny

Cat weirdo

Are you sure? Cause i can change it

Nat

ur fine cat, im serious

Cat weirdo

cat? 

Nat

yeah its what ive been calling you in my head ig

Idk your name so 

Cat weirdo

are you saying you think abt me?

Nat

wtv loser

Goodnight

Cat weirdo

Good night 🥰

-

7:04 am

Cat weirdo

Lottie Matthews

-

When Nat wakes up (late for class and in a rush for the nine am bus) she doesn’t have time to check her phone like she normally does. 

She doesn’t get the chance until Study Hall, sitting with Tai and Jackie in the library. Two out of three are pretending to use their time wisely, you can guess who. 

-

11:08 am

Nat

???

Cat weirdo

its my name loser

So u dont have to keep calling me cat 

That name felt weird ig

Nat

Oh cool

Cat weirdo

So do i get yours now too or….

Nat

Im not giving my full legal name to a stranger

Cat weirdo

Im hurt

I thought we were friends

Im crying you made me cry

Nat

whatever drama queen

Cat weirdo

hehe

Nat

What?

Cat weirdo

Idk

Im weird im a weirdo

Nat

dont u fucking quote riverdale at me

Cat weirdo

Plus thats not my actual full legal name

Its just like my nickname and my last name

Can i get something to call you by? Otherwise ill just stick to daddy

Nat

Fuckk off

natalie

Or nat actually

Cat weirdo

Ohh i like it its pretty

-

“Why are you on your phone so much anyway?” Jackie asks, trying to take a peak.

“Mind your own fucking business Taylor.” Nat scowls as she deletes the reply she came up with for the third time, not knowing how to take Lottie’s (She has a name now, not just Cat or Weirdo) compliment.

“You were blushing.”

“I don’t blush.” Nat protests.

“You were.” Tai speaks up absently. Jackie points aggressively, thinking she most definitely won that argument. 

“Is it Kevyn?” Jackie leans forward, Nat gives up on the reply and leaves Lottie on read for now. “Are you two finally dating?”

“Ew no.” Nat feels her face scrunch up with disgust. “He’s like a brother that’d be weird.”

“He’s totally got a crush on you though.” Jackie points out, and yeah-he does, but Nat’s never given it much attention. “But if it’s not him…Bobby?”

“I haven’t talked to him since he graduated.” Nat shudders. He was an asshole. 

Jackie ponders it, and Nat thinks it’s probably the most brain power Jackie’s used all day. “Oh my god, is it Travis?”

“Can you not? Why do you want to know about my love life so bad? Jeffrey not doing it for you?” Nat snaps. Jackie let’s it roll over her.

“No actually, it’s why we broke up.” 

“Wait.” Tai’s attention snaps up from her math book. “You broke up?” 

“Don’t get too excited Tai.” Nat rolls her eyes. “He’ll show up to school on Friday with flowers and they’ll be back together within the hour.”

“No.” Jackie frowns. “It’s over this time, I actually broke up with him.” 

Nat raises an eyebrow, and so does Taissa. 

Jackie sticks her tongue out at them, and they move on with their lives. Fortunately, away from the topic of Lottie. 

-

8:16 am

Matthews

At what point do we send each other pics?

Nat

wym I send you pics all the time

Matthews

Yeah of the cats 

Which speaking of I want to see the babies gimme gimme gimme

Nat

[muddydusty.img]

Dusty got covered in mud and Meredith couldn’t figure out how to clean him

Matthews

Thabk you ☺️

Nat

But what was it you were saying

Matthews 

i look rly cute today and I want to show someone but my ex and i aren’t talking rn and my other friend is busy

Nat

do u rly only talk to two ppl? And one of them is ur ex? Okay then…

[homophobicdog.img]

Matthews

LMAOO

Well, yes

We’re still like friends, but we got into a bit of a fight the other day and I got angry and said a few hurtful things

Nat

I can’t see tha weirdly enough 

Idk you and anger just don’t compute in my mind

Matthews

yeah well it’s pretty hard to get me actually pissed

but we’ve know each other so long that we know exactly what gets the other upset

I feel like shit about it actually 

Nat

I’m sure she’ll come around

Matthews

Thx nat

But like i don’t want to think about it rn

Nat

Yeah yeah show me the fit or wtv

Matthews

🥰

[fitcheck12.img]

-

3x3 

10:39 am

Nat: so

Nat: hypothetically 

Nat: if someone sent you a fit check and it was like a rly cute or like say hot picture

Nat: and say, hypothetically, you left them on read bcs it was really hot I mean cute and u hypothetically panicked just a little

Nat: how long is too long before it just is rude

Jax: Natalie WHAT

Van: omg is nat coming to us for dating advice 

Nat: NOT dating advice. Just a silly little hypothetical 

Jax: okay so “hypothetically” when did he send it

Nat: 830

Van: and “hypothetically” on a scale of 1-10 how hot was it??

Nat: idk about a panic for 2hrs out of 10 for example 

Jax: girly…you left him on read for 2hrs?? Because of a pic????

Jax: was it at least shirtless or smth?

Nat: clothes were hypothetically on

Van: idk man ur cooked 

Nat: fuck

-

Matthews

So was the pic that bad?

Or that good 😘

Haha jkjk

Nat?

Sorry

Nat

Sorry ur good man

You look really nice

Real cute it’s a good outfit good picture 

I had a test and the teacher almost took my phone mb I didn’t mean to leave you like that

Matthews

Oh okay that’s good

-

Nats worried she fucked up. Van was right she was cooked, because Lottie’s messages have been drier ever since, she hasn’t sent any more pictures but Nat still sends some of the kittens. Lottie also stopped flirting with her and heart emojis are never red anymore, only purple. 

It’s intentional, and Nat misses it and she hates that she misses it. 

But it’s not all Lottie. She knows she’s been weird too. She leaves the notification on her home screen for at least twenty minutes before answering, and if Lottie texts her at night she’ll leave it until morning instead of blearily looking at it and typing a near illegible reply.

Instead of thinking about it, instead of talking to Lottie or wondering about what her reaction to that photo means, she just wants to throw herself into soccer, school work and parties. 

So when Tai announces her birthday party was going to be the same weekend her parents had a wedding to go to, its obvious she’s looking to throw a rager. It’s after midterms, a month before spring conditioning starts back up, so the juniors and sophomores of the Yellowjackets are tossing back drinks like it’s the last thing they’ll ever do. 

The seniors are “too cool” for Tai’s party, so they aren’t there, but the rest of varsity is. Jackie didn’t invite Jeff, but he’s there, looking like the saddest wettest golden retriever ever. Nat almost feels bad for him. Almost. 

She started feeling bad after one or two drinks, so she out onto the porch, which was pretty empty for the moment. It seemed like she wasn’t the only one who wanted to come out here.

Meredith, the gray cat perched serenely on a lawn chair, looking bored with her tail twitching slowly. 

She grabbed a joint she stole from Kevyn and sat on the lawn chair beside the cat. They made eye contact, having a lazy staring contest until Nat felt her eyes begin to sting with dryness and was forced to blink.

“Shit, are you crying?” A voice came from beside her. Tai. The girl groaned, looking in a random direction with a distressed expression. “Fuck, where’s Van? I don’t-”

“I’m not crying.” Nat wiped some of the tear that had formed away. She wasn’t. It was truly just because of the dryness of her eyes. And the fact she was apparently in a sad drunk mood. Whatever. She wasn’t crying. “ I was just having a staring contest.”

Tai looked at her in confusion, so Nat points at an unblinking Meredith. A sense of realization comes over her, before she looks confused again, just for another reason. “Are you high?”

“No, not yet.” She glares down at the joint in her hand. “Just-I dunno, feeling weird I guess.” 

The Riverdale scene comes back to her mind, along with Lottie’s message from back when they were normal.

“What does that even mean?” Tai sits across from her and why the fuck do the Turners have so much lawn furniture? But Nat shrugs. 

“I’m-life is just catching up to me.” She explains, keeping it vague. “Midterms are done, and soccer doesn’t start back up for a while. I don’t-it’s just me in here.” She points at her head. “And it’s exhausting.”

Tai looks at her for a long minute. “Okay.” They go back to being silent, before Tai speaks up again. “Give me that,” She takes the joint from Nat and now she’s smoking weed with Taissa Turner on her back deck.

“Talk.” Tai demands about five minutes later. “Also I’m texting Van to get food. I’m hungry and the baseball losers ate it all.” 

“What about?” Nat grunts. 

“You’ve been weird for like two weeks.” Tai thinks. “Actually since we found the cats, but that was weird happy, this is weird mopey.”

“You make me sound like the fucking seven dwarves.” Nat shuffles in her seat. She looks up at the stars and tries to identify them. She can’t. She looks back at Tai, who had followed her gaze up. Nat focuses on a point past her shoulder, the faint fire in the backyard, a small one, like a low campfire. “How did you know you liked girls?”

“Shauna owes me so much money.” Tai says immediately in an absent tone, still looking up. Then she realizes she said that outloud and snaps her gaze back down to Nat. “Shit, I mean um. Nothing.” 

“What?” Nat scowls. “Whatever. Fuck you.” 

“Sorry.” Tai coughs. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” 

“It’s fine.” Nat grunts. Meredith is stretching now, glaring at a puking Randy Walsh. The asshole couldn’t hold his liquor for shit.

“For me there was never an “oh” moment. But I’m not like Van either, you grew up with them, they’ve known since they knew what liking someone meant. But me, I guess it just never came up.” Tai shrugs. “My parents aren’t super strict, and you know, weren’t bad about it. But I was never expected to get a boyfriend, mom never asked, and dad never said anything either. So I just didn’t think about dating anyone.” 

“And then Jackie started talking about boys in middle school, and you were super cool about, Van was already out, and I just thought I had more important things to do. It’s silly now to me, obviously I was gay. When Brandon got a girlfriend I realized it wasn’t that I didn’t have time for dating, it’s that I had no interest in making time for boys .” 

Nat puzzled over it. Turned it over in her mind. “Thanks but that’s…no offense, it’s just useless to me.”

Tai snorts. “Sorry my queer journey doesn’t help you.”

“No!” Nat sat up, eyes wide with panic. “No that’s not-it’s just like, that’s how you knew you didn’t like guys. I’m pretty sure I like guys.”

 “I know, I was fucking with you, you’re fine.” Tai looked at her sympathetically, which gross, Nat didn’t like that. “Why are you asking?”

Nat didn’t reply, and when she finally opened her mouth to, Jeff Sadecki opened the door and his buddies piled after him, interrupting their conversation. Tai got distracted by getting the drunk teenagers to chill out and maybe think about heading back inside to drink some water. 

-

3:56 am

Nat

[meredith01.img]

she on that unbothered queen shit

Matthews loved an image

Nat

shit did i wake u up?

i just wanted to send smth for u to find in the morn

Matthews

woke up early

its fine

why are u up?

Nat

was at a party and then couldnt sleep

still technically there jus banished to the living room

Matthews

Ah yes

Sexiled to the couch

Nat

what?

Matthews

like exiled but i assumed its cause ur friends are hooking up

Nat

well u were right

thats funny

ur rly funny lottie

Matthews

im always right

And thank you im also really funny

Nat

I missed you

Matthews

we barely know each other

Nat

i guess

Well no

Thats not true is it?

Matthews

I missed you too loser

Nat

back to insulting me already

I take it back i dont miss you anymore

Matthews

please

Like you could ever not

Chapter Text

It doesn’t fix it. They still aren’t talking every day, but they do send pictures or memes back and forth at least once a day. They’re continuing their game of twenty questions and it’s only a matter of time before Nat snaps and asks her the same question she asked Tai.

She only knows one other person who’s not Van and who (she thinks) likes girls. So she plans to talk to her during english class. Schemes a way to get them alone for a bit. Luckily they’re working on essays right now, and Shauna clearly already finished. 

“Miss.” Nat asks when the teacher tells them to go and do their work for the rest of class. “I’m sort of struggling and was wondering if I could go work in the library? It’s too loud in here.” 

The woman is always hesitant to let students go out of the class without a chaperone, and especially Natalie. But she planned for this. Expected, hoped for it even.

“I don’t know…” The woman looked around, it was loud, and there was no controlling it at this point. 

“Shauna said she’d go with me, to help out.” Nat continues, and the woman refocuses on her. 

“Oh, well in that case, go for it, so long as Shauna doesn’t have anything to do.”

“Of course, and thank you!” She gets her back pack and then goes up behind Shauna, grabbing her shoulder. She startles, tensing before she sees who it is. 

“What?”

“Come on, I got us out of class.” 

“What?”

“Jesus Shipman, where’s that straight A student vocab?” Nat rolls her eyes. “You’re helping me with my essay in the library, like you said you would.”

She pouts, for the show. Shauna squints at her, throws a look to the teacher at her desk, and sighs. 

Nat feigns working on it for about five minutes before she lets the pretense go and pushes the laptop aside.

“How did you know you liked girls?” She blurts. The speed at which Shauna turns her head almost gives both of them whiplash.

“What the fuck Nat?” Shauna hisses at her, book forgotten for the time being. “I don’t-I’m not-”

“Please.” Natalie rolls her eyes, leans back in her chair to fake calmness. “We all know you’re like, in love with Jackie or whatever.”

Shauna slaps a hand over her mouth to shut her up. Nat licked it and the other girl yanked it away immediately. “You’re gross. And immature.”

Nat just shrugged. “Would you answer my question?”

“I don’t know Nat.” Shauna is keeping her voice low. There’s no point to. The library is empty and Nat knew it would be. No one has study hall this period and those that skip typically don’t stay on campus. “I’ve always, you know, loved her, there was no like for me.”

“You’re as useless as Tai.” Nat sighs. She pushes the chair she’s in backwards. “Look can I like tell you something?”

“I mean you basically kidnapped me I don’t know that I have a choice.”

“You have to promise me you won’t talk to Jackie about it.” Nat says, dead serious. Shauna looks hesitant. “If you tell anyone, even Jackie, especially Jackie I might actually kill you.”

“I promise I won’t tell Jackie.” Shauna says after a minute. 

“Okay.” Nat takes her phone from her pocket. “Remember how I found the cats?”

“After Jackie’s party right?” Nat nods. 

“Yeah, so I was a little drunk and tried to find the Vets number to see if they’d be open. The number on the site is old, but I’d already texted it.” Nat scrolls to the top. 

“Who’s Matthew?”

“It’s the Vets old number, and her name is Lottie.”

“You kept texting the number?” Shauna was surprised, and concerned it sounded like. “Did you learn nothing from the online safety classes we were forced to sit through?”

“It’s chill. She’s cool.” Nat dismissed. “But I have a problem.”

“Oh shit.” Shauna seemed to have a sort of realization. “You have girl problems. And you came to me? Really?”

Nat scowls at Shauna’s bewildered expression. “Jackie would make a big deal about it, and if I tell Van everyone will find out.”

“What about your other friends?”

“Kevyn and Rick would be less than helpful, and Travis-”

“Is in love with  you, right.” Shauna nods. Nat opens her mouth to protest, but yeah. She had a point. “Got it. So what’s the issue then.”

“About a month ago or something she sent me a picture.” Nat says. “And I left her on read for about three hours-” 

“Seriously?” Shauna takes the phone from her. “Where’s the photo, it couldn’t have been-Nat you fucked up.” 

Nat rips the phone away from her. “Obviously. But I did respond I didn’t just ghost her, but she’s been weird ever since.” 

“She flirts with you, like a lot.” Shauna comments. Nat nods, blushing lightly. 

“I just-I didn’t know I liked girls.” Nat replies, in a small voice. She presses herself deeper into her chair, and Shauna glances over at her, a sad look on her face. Nat sneers, trying to ignore the heat on her face. “Oh don’t look at me like that.” 

Shauna looks away. “So, did you just bring me out of class to come out to me, cause well, no offense but, now I owe Tai like, an exorbitant amount of money.” 

“That’s so crazy.” Shauna’s eyes whip towards her at the fake sweetness in her voice, thoroughly scared. “It’s so crazy that Tai mentioned the exact same thing.” 

Shauna winces. “Sorry.”

“Fuck you both.” 

“Can I make it up to you?” Shauna asks. Nat shrugs. “Do you want some advice?”

“Yeah, whatever.” Nat sniffs, crosses her arms and avoids the girl’s gaze.

“Send a picture back, you know. I think when you respond badly-”

“I was caught off guard!”

“-She lost a little trust in you. If you send one back she might be able to forgive you easier.” Shauna shrugs. “It always helps if Jackie and I are in the same room if we’re making up from a fight. If we do it over the phone it just feels…fake.” 

Nat gives her a look, a small smirk that obviously communicates what it needs to because Shauna blushes furiously and shoves her. 

After school Shauna drives Nat to her place, since Nat practically begged (she didn’t, she wouldn’t be caught dead admitting it) for help to get the picture right. 

In the end they came out with around fifty and were both exhausted. 

The favorite was one of her with Gatsby, Shauna’s black and white kitten, which she knew Lottie would appreciate. She was wearing her outfit from school with a few touches from Shauna’s wardrobe. Black pants with a chunky belt chain, her scruffy black band t-shirt and one of Shauna’s dark green flannels. 

-

5:55 pm

Nat

[gatsbyandnatalie.img]

just realized i havent sent you any cat pics today

6:34 pm

Matthews

the babyyyyyy i love him 🥰

wait

IS THAT YOU?

Nat

well im not sending a pic of my friends to a random stranger on the internet

Matthews

but youll send a pic of urself to a random stranger omgg 🥺

Nat

youre not a random stranger tho are you?

Matthews

stop ur making me blushhhh

-

“No you’re not picking the music! Get away from that, asshole-” 

“It’s not even your car! Just let me-”

“If you two don’t shut the fuck up and let me drive I’m leaving you both on the side of the road.”

“Sorry Shauna.”

“Fine, sorry Shipman.”

“…”

“Please don’t play dad rock.”

“Just turn the radio on Jackie.” 

-

9:41 am

Nat

so i may have done something

Matthews

on a scale of tripped a little bit and murder how bad is it?

Nat

well, neither?

spotify.com/playlist/1599581

Matthews

You made me a playlist!!!!

Nat

You need to know more music than chappell roan and olivia rodrigo

Matthews

I know more than that ur just mean to me 🙄

Nat

whatevver u say matthews

-

Lottie isn’t sure why she texted the number back the next morning.

But there was that pull, a weird one to get from someone who had texted you a picture of a box of cats thinking you were their local vet. A number you had apparently, in your sad drunken stupor (when the pretty blonde that baptized you and you were-are- obsessed with breaks up with you, you don’t handle it too well.), had responded to. 

And yeah, drunk you has some good ideas.

Not according to Mari though. And what does she know anyway? Her last boyfriend dumped her for his cousin , who she’d also hooked up with once. Mari’s life was insane it was amazing.

But Lottie rereads her messages from last night and cringes at all of them, except for one that leads her to confusion and then a warmth when she sees the adorable kittens with their big eyes and small faces.

-

1:06 am

Lottie

Im sry

im so sry lee

shit

Love

im sorry too, you know that

I just need some space alright?

Lottie

why r u sry?

u didnt do anything

Love

Go drink some water, go get some sleep.

We can continue this in the morning, when you can think clearly.

-

3:19 am

+(201) 710-1007

[kitten.img]

I found these when can i bring them in?

Lottie

OMG!!

Anytime please that would be amazing :))))))

+(201) 710-1007

Oh

Wrong number 

Lottie

Wait no

I wantt one

+(201) 710-1007

This number was listed as the vets

Lottie

I take good care of cats

For free

+(201) 710-1007

No

Lottie

No one needs 8 cats

Ur being selfish

+(201) 710-1007

Bye

12:40 pm

Lottie

So like 

I was pretty drunk last night and dont remember texting ANY of that

But drunk me is also pretty smart and has good ideas sometimes 

Are the cats still around?

+(201) 710-1007

Nope

Sorry dude

Lottie

Even if I ask nicely? Or beg? I can beg I’m good at that

+(201) 710-1007

I bet you could

But my friends have already claimed them

Lottie

booooooo

That’s lame tell your friends I think they’re lame

+(201) 710-1007

I won’t be doing that no

-

Then the number messaged her again, and she replied. Again. Maybe not smart, dangerous, even. But she couldn’t help it. It took her mind off of Laura Lee, a much needed distraction. 

She was funny, and endearing and listened to Lottie talk about flowers and the stars. 

After about the fourth picture of Aslan, the ginger cat who had gotten better at hunting but twice as clumsy, Lottie changed it from the sequence of numbers to Baby Daddy. She’d thought it was hilarious at the time.

Until Mari sees it.

It’s a Friday night, and for her that means sitting at Mari’s vanity in her and Laura Lee’s dorm room and getting ready for a party. 

Laura Lee is at the library, and Lottie knows she’s being far too hot and cold with the girl, but it’s just so…difficult to be around her all the time. It aches, even after four months. Mari insists that the house party her cousin is throwing off campus will be worth it, and it takes very little convincing for her to go. 

Mari’s behind her, scrolling TikTok, when Lottie’s phone buzzes. 

“Lottie.” Mari starts slowly. “When were you going to tell me you got knocked up?”

Her eyes widen comically and she almost gauges her eye with the eyeliner pencil. “What?” She coughs, trying to play it cool. Unconvincingly. 

Mari turns the phone around to show a picture of Bubbles the kitten on top of a fridge, she doesn't have the time to fully appreciate the picture though, as Mari’s looking at her with a mirthful and pointed look. 

“It’s not-” Lottie reaches for her phone and trips on a pile of abandoned books. “Fuck.”

“You text him a lot, even if it’s mostly pictures of cats and-wow, Lottie, that’s a lot of hearts.” Mari now has full control over Lottie’s phone, she pauses a moment. “Aww, you did his birth chart.”

“Give that to me-” Lottie reaches for it again.

“No!” Mari pulls the phone away. “Not until you tell me who this is. Is it Kyle? I didn’t know surfer bro was your type, but whatever floats-”

“I am gay Mari!” Lottie shouts, and reaches for it again, Mari cackles. 

“This is the best thing that will happen all night.” Mari says, she gets serious for a moment. “But for real, who is it? Cause I know you didn’t go straight after Laura Lee broke up with you, no offense but that would be a little pathetic.”

“You’re a bitch and I hate you.” Lottie grumbles. She gives up the chase for her phone. 

“No you don’t.” She pats Lottie’s head. “Why is there no photos of each other? Just like cats and shitty memes. Who even is it?”

“I did not go straight, just FYI asshole, it’s a girl.” Lottie starts talking.

“And how do you know that?” Mari asks, Lottie frowns at her, but it comes out more like a childish pout than anything intimidating. 

“She told me so.” She replies simply.

Mari sighs. “Okay, just tell me what’s going on, would you?”

“She texted me like three months ago, after that party I got super fucked up, you know? Like two weeks after Lee-yeah. Anyway, she’s on the east coast somewhere, but not in New York, I don’t think. She found a bunch of cats and drunk me wanted them. That’s how we met, I was just the wrong number, and then I texted her the next day, and she texted me a month later thinking I was her friend and we got to talking and-” Lottie realizes she’s out of breath. 

“You sound-”

“Crazy?”

“-Absolutely down bad.” Mari finishes, glaring at her for the interruption. “Which is, yes, crazy, but not entirely out of character for you. Do you even know her name?”

“...”

“You don't!” Mari exclaims, panicking actually. “Oh my god! Girl what?”

“It never came up!”

“But she told you she’s from Italy, along with her full date of birth.” Mari says. Lottie nods. She knows it’s silly, but, she needed a distraction. She tells Mari as much. “Listen, Lot, I know you really loved her,” Lottie nods earnestly, and Mari sighs. “But it’s not like you were healthy for each other.”

Lottie sits up. “What are you saying?”

“Lee’s not there yet. Not like you are, you were all in immediately, and she was barely out.” Mari holds Lottie hands. “You have this like, savior complex and I know that Laura Lee didn’t know about it , but she enabled you. Lottie you almost went to the hospital because you stopped taking your meds. Laura Lee thought you were possessed. ”

Lottie shrunk under Mari’s gaze. “I know you like to remember the good parts, but you’re ignoring all the bad. The bad that I had to deal with.” 

“You’re right.”

“I know I’m right.” Mari stands up and grabs the makeup Lottie had been working with. “Now let me finish this so we can get drunk.” 

On their way back from the party, four hours later, they’re both tipsy and trying to sneak in to Mari’s dorm room, since it was long past curfew. 

“Shhh.” Mari giggled, pointing at Laura Lee sleeping in her own bed. “Don’t wake up Sister Laura Lee.”

“Don’t make fun of her.” Lottie pouts. “Plus, she sleeps like the dead.”

Mari nods sagely. “Like a bear.”

“Hm?” Lottie’s face scrunches with confusion. 

“Like in the winter, when they sleep.” Mari clarifies. 

“Oh. Hibernation.” Lottie murmurs. “I’m gonna text her.” 

“Laura Lee?” Mari regards her suspiciously. 

“No!” Lottie replies, and then giggles as she crawls into the bed beside Mari. “My baby daddy.”

“Go to sleep please.” Laura Lee groans.

“Sorry.” 

-

The next morning, after Lottie changes Nat’s name in her contacts (she has a name! Take that Marisol) Laura Lee comes out from the shower in utter silence. Mari’s gone out to get gatorade and advil from the convenience store.

There’s a tension in the room that she hates, a discomfort emanating off Laura Lee, pointedly in Lottie’s direction. 

She sighs and puts her phone away. 

“Okay, what’s your problem?” Lottie says. Her headache can’t take the awkwardness of this whole thing. 

They’d been doing fine just a few days ago, laughing and hanging out platonically.

“Nothing.” Laura Lee sniffs. She’s so obviously lying, won’t look Lottie in the eye. Lottie knows her, knows how much she hates being angry. 

“Well, you’re lying, so what is going on?” Lottie pokes. 

“You know I don’t like it when you drink.” Laura Lee turns on her. “But you keep doing it!”

“Please don’t shout right now.” Lottie pleads, wincing. Laura Lee glares at her, and then pulls down on the blinds and lets them shoot up, letting the bright sun shine directly into her eyes. “Owww, what the fuck? I thought we were fine!”

“We were.” Laura Lee says begrudgingly. “Who are you texting all the time?”

Lottie blinks, both in surprise at the amount of jealousy dripping from Laura Lee’s voice and to let her eyes adjust to the sunlight. “Why do you care?”

“Because I care about you, Lottie.” Laura Lee hisses. “I worry about you, you never used to drink and party like this.”

It’s not entirely wrong, but not right either. Lottie admits, she’s going pretty hard, but the reason Laura Lee thinks its so obscene is because Lottie had taken a pause when they started dating. They’d been friends since middle school soccer, and then in highschool Lottie would party Saturday nights, knowing Laura Lee would be going to sleep early. 

“Is it because of whoever you’re talking to? Are they-is she a bad influence?” Laura Lee sits beside her on the bed, moving to put a hand on her shoulder. Lottie flinches away from it. “You can talk to me.”

“Can I?” Lottie snaps. 

“What?” Laura Lee holds her hand to her chest, as if she’s been burnt. 

“I go out with Mari so much because of you! I stopped because of you! And then you left me-”

“I’m right here, Lot.” 

“Oh fuck right off.” Lottie snarls, she stands up to put some distance in between them. “You left me. After I told you everything. I-I’ve never told anyone about the diagnosis, and you-you hurt me, Lee.”

“I didn’t mean to.” She says in a small voice. 

“I know that Laura Lee,” Lottie looks up, exasperated. “I hate how much I miss you.” 

“You keep saying that!” Laura Lee exclaims. “You’re acting like I abandoned you! I’m right here, I told you we could still be friends, you’re the one being so weird about it.”

“I’m being weird?” Lottie laughs mirthlessly. “Me? You are so hot and cold, and this started because you were jealous .”

“I’m not jealous.” Laura Lee hisses, scandalized. 

“Sure you aren’t, Lee. If you’re so cool and okay with me moving on, then I will.” Lottie grabs her shoes and jacket. 

“Great!” Laura Lee throws her hands up. It’s dry, counterintuitive to her words. The closest she’s come to sarcasm. “That’s amazing, and I’m happy for you!”

“Don’t try to talk to me.” Lottie grabs the door handle. “I need some space.”

It’s pointed for a reason, a cruel echo of what Laura Lee said when they broke up. Has kept saying every time they fought since.

-

Laura Lee obeys. 

She’s nothing, if not obedient. Lottie’s not sure why she expected anything else. 

It’s been two weeks and Lottie has to go get brunch with her parents. A bi-monthly event she hates more than anything. It’s mostly for appearances, seeming like a happy family for an hour every two months at an obnoxiously fancy restaurant in Manhattan. 

Mari’s in detention though, so she can’t complain to her. Or run her outfit by her (pink skirt, black crop top, and her red docs. Just enough to pass in the restaurant and just enough to piss her parents off.)

So she sends it to Nat. 

She’s nervous as she snaps the picture in her mirror, nervous but giddy as she hits send, feels the butterflies when the words read appear on the screen. 

Then she waits a minute. Two. 

Nat doesn’t respond. And Lottie’s heart falls in her chest. 

She tries to make light of it, as she gets on the subway and loses service. Regrets the flirty tone she’d taken and apologizes as she waits to be seated. 

Eating a meal with her parents is literal hell. When she goes, for being gay as Laura Lee had accidentally implied once or twice- which, what?- this is what satan himself will put her through everyday. Probably with her actual parents too. No one knows how to torture each other quite like the Matthews. 

“Stop looking at your phone Charlotte. It’s rude.” Her father comments after the waitress takes their menus. 

“Are you sure you want that much?” Her mother asks after the food arrives, nose turned up slightly. 

“Why did you get a B minus on your chemistry test?”

“Did Daniel’s mother say he saw you the other night at the Barajas boy’s house party? You know you shouldn’t be drinking.”

“Charlotte look at you mother when she talks to you.” 

“Charlotte, my coworkers son-”

“Charlotte-”

It went on like this for a whole hour of her morning, and usually by now, she’d have stormed off out the door with a half finished plate. But her hand kept drifting to her bag, where her phone was, eyes forlorn and mind consumed by a stranger. Jesus, how pathetic.

At the end, while her father paid the bill, she went to the bathroom to wash her hands. Her mother followed stepping in just as the door shut. 

“I want to thank you.” She said.

“What for?” Lottie replied, too tired to pick up on the subtext. 

“For not embarrassing us today, normally you have some sort of meltdown.” Lottie rolls her eyes, jaw clenching.

“I’ve not had a meltdown since I was twelve, and I had told you-” Nevermind, it wasn’t worth it. She breaths deeply, counting in her head. “Doesn’t matter. You’re welcome mother. But I have to go back to the school, homework and all.”

Her mother nods, and Lottie slips out of the restaurant, flagging down a taxi to take her back to school.

-

Nat apologizes, in her own way. 

It takes two. Two apologies, none in as many words as “I’m sorry”. Lottie is just fine with that. Happy even. 

The first comes with a picture of Meredith, looking serene on a lawn chair, gazing out into the yard. There’s firelight hitting her face. It’s a calming picture, weirdly enough, and Lottie can almost feel the calm emanate off of it.

And they were back to talking again. It was nice, and Lottie had missed it, Nat clearly had too. She was sending more pictures, more memes, started her mornings with a text to her, responded while in class and on the bus.

They’ve gone back to playing their game, questions as safe as possible, and Lottie’s treading eggshells to not scare her away. 

(Her favorite color is dark green, like the woods behind her trailer. Her favorite school subject is chemistry, the first time she smoked was when an older boy offered it to her at twelve, she wanted to learn bass guitar, she liked Nirvana but only their early stuff.)

The second apology comes a week later. 

It takes her a minute to process the question, eating supper at a restaurant with Mari and Laura Lee (They’re back on speaking terms, tentatively.) 

It’s Gatsby, the black and white kitten that Lottie adores, being held and pet by a smirking blonde. Her hair is bleached, and dark roots are beginning to show at the top, she’s in an oversized green flannel, wearing baggy black jeans and chunky jewelry. She has green eyes, Lottie notices, like a cat. 

She takes a full minute to process, cooing over the grumpy looking cat with his fancy white boots. Then she has the realization that that’s Natalie and blushes bright red, choking on her food. 

“What? What’s happening?” Mari asks while Laura Lee pounds on her back. 

“One second.” Lottie coughs out, typing up her reply. 

“Who’s that?” Laura Lee looks over her shoulder. Mari peeks over her other shoulder, using it as a chin rest. 

“Is it your baby daddy?”

“Your what? ”

Lottie’s face is still heating up. “Not like that, it was a joke it’s-I’ll explain.”

“Yeah you should.” Laura Lee frowns, gripping the cross that hangs around her neck. “Lottie are you-”

Mari’s laughing, cackling really. Lottie hits her to get her to shut up . 

“No I’m not. There’s this girl I met-” Laura’s expression goes through several stages of grief in a very short amount of time, before settling on unbothered curiosity. “She texted me, like a wrong number thing and then we just kept talking.”

“Is that why you’ve been acting all weird?” The blonde asks. 

Lottie sighs. “Not entirely. I mean, after we fought, me and you a few weeks ago, I sent her a picture of myself.”

“You sent a picture to someone you’ve never met?” Laura Lee looks affronted. 

“Just-I know a lot about her so it’s-”

“Do you know her last name?”

“I mean I know her star sign?”

“You don’t know her last name? Lottie!”

“I know she’s a libra moon! That says a lot!” 

Mari’s roaring with laughter now, doubled over and forehead pressed into the table. Lottie feels like she’s burning up. Laura Lee reached for her phone. 

“Give me this.” Lottie doesn't have the time to protest before Laura’s taking it and putting in her password. 

“Wait wait, I want to see this, I need to know why Lottie was choking.” Mari makes grabby hands and Laura Lee seems to think for a moment before shrugging and sliding up beside her. 

Lottie looks for an exit, or a nice hole to crawl into to die.

“Girl is this her?” Mari says, and Lottie finally meets their eyes. Laura Lee’s staring hard at the photo Natalie had sent, gaping. Lottie nods. “She’s…really hot.”

Laura Lee nods absently. 

Chapter Text

1:37 pm

Lottie

Wait since we’ve seen each other, are we allowed to like

Call or ft?

Nat

aww

Do you want to see my face that bad?

Lottie

maybe I do 

What about it?

Nat

Loser

Lottie

You need to get better at being hit on

Nat

I was about to call you but maybe I shouldn’t

Lottie

wait noooo

Come back

Nat is calling you (FaceTime) <accept> <decline>

-

Soccer starts back up, and Nat is happy. Not solely because of soccer, but because, as much as she hates herself to admit it, she’s been talking to Lottie. 

They text everyday, and call each other on weekends. Nat will make supper while Lottie lays in her bed, ignoring her school work. 

It’s a Saturday and Lottie’s in her room getting ready for a party her friend is taking her to. She seems to part a lot, more than Nat which is impressive. 

She’s complaining about her day, applying her mascara when the door suddenly opens. 

A girl with long black hair and dark eyes lets herself into Lottie’s room and sits down on the bed behind her. 

“Lottie you’ll never guess who just texted me-what are you doing?” Lottie isn’t facing Nat anymore, but she can see that she’s tense, but frozen like a deer ignoring fight or flight. 

Nat waves a little, unsure of what else to do. 

“Oh my god!” The girl squeals and in moments is off the bed and at Lottie’s side. “You’re the baby daddy!”

She can see Lottie’s face again, or more of it, she’s blushing and her eyes are wide with panic. 

“Yep, that’s me.” Nat replies dryly, locking the information away to tease Lottie about later on. “Are you the friend that’s the ex?”

“She told you about Laura Lee?” The girl wears an expression like a kid on Christmas morning. “No, I’m the ex’s roommate, Mari. It’s good to actually meet you.”

“You too.” Nat grins in Lottie’s direction, who looks downright mortified. 

Lottie shakes herself from the frozen state and points at her door. “Leave please, before you embarrass me any further . I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Fineeee.” The girl stands up. “It was nice to meet you, Nat!”

“So.” Nat starts. “Your only friends are your ex and her roommate?”

“Shut up.”

-

8:04 am

Matthews

Good morning bby 🥰🥰

Nat

First daddy and now this?

I’m starting to think you want me

Matthews

Carnally

I mean who said that???

Nat

Haha

gm to you too

Matthews

u at school now?

Nat

Nah

Got canceled

Matthews

Luckyyyy

Snow?

Nat

yeah

How’d you know?

Matthews

Guessed tbh

it’s snowing here too

but that means I’m closer to figuring out where you live hehe

Nat

why do you have school then?

Matthews

No reason to when the students already live there

Nat

Ofc you go to a boarding school

Matthews

What does that mean??

-

11:12

Matthews

Did you just hang up on me?

Nat

im in CLASS

Matthews

ughhh fine 🙄

call me at lunch?

Nat

ur so clingy

Matthews 

🥺🥺🥺

-

Nat does call Lottie at lunch, even if she was being clingy. She told the Yellowjackets (Jackie was making them eat lunch together more often) that she was going for a smoke break, and Kevyn that she was going to the library to finish some homework. 

“Hey.” Nat says when Lottie picks up the phone. She’s leaning against the brick wall of the gym, cigarette in one hand and phone in the other. She never said she lied about the smoke break. 

“Hey.” Lottie replies. 

“You’re in your room today?”

“Yeah.” Lottie sighs heavily. “Study hall, but what’s up with you?”

Nat shrugs. “Not much, boring day. I have soccer practice after school, if the field defrosts enough.”

“You play soccer?” Lottie sits up. 

“Yeah. Is it that much of a surprise?”

“Yeah, you never told me that!” 

“Didn’t know I was supposed to.” Nat says it dryly, but she has a dumb smile on her face, the one she always gets when talking to Lottie. 

“I play soccer too!” Lottie exclaims excitedly. “Wait what if we play each other this year?”

“I dunno, the yellow-I mean our team hasn’t won in a long time.” Nat thinks for a moment. “Ever actually.”

“I’m sure you’re great.” Lottie grins. “How about this? If our teams play each other and you win I’ll give you-”

“Hey! Natalie!” A voice calls from the direction of the side door, she looks up from her phone to see Travis coming towards her. Really close actually, she hadn’t noticed him there. 

“Sorry Lot, I gotta go but I’ll text you later?”

Lottie frowns. “Yeah sure but who’s that?”

“Just a friend. Kinda, it’s complicated but we don’t have time-hi Travis!- I’ll tell you after school?”

“Okay. Bye Nat.”

Nat hangs up and shoved her phone in her pocket before she says bye. 

“Who were you talking to?” Travis asks once he’s close enough. 

“Hm?” Nat decides to play it cool and dumb. “Oh, that? It was no one, just a friend.”

“Oh, cool.”

“Yeah.”

They stand in the early march cold until Travis speaks again. 

“Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Okay?”

He takes a deep breath in, looking away. “I, uh, I think you’re really cool. You’re cooler than me and like, so pretty and smart. You helped me. I was-I was a fucking asshole, and you saved me.”

“Saved?”

“I just wanted to thank you, you changed me. For the better and-I love you, Natalie.”

Oh fuck . 

“Travis…” she starts, sympathetic and apologetic. “I’m sorry that’s not-I don’t feel the same.”

“What?”

“I don’t like you Trav. You’re a great friend and all but, I’m just not into you.”

“Is there someone else?” Travis looks more angry than sad and that’s truly unfortunate. “Is it Kevyn?”

“No it’s not Kevyn.” Nat sighs. 

“So there is someone?” 

“Well, kind of but-”

“Who the hell is it?”

Nat bristles, hackles rising at his accusatory tone. “That’s none of your fucking business, Travis. Why are you being like this?”

“Please Nat, we could be good together-”

“Travis! You’re not listening to me! I’m not into you!”

“Who is he then? I just want to know!”

“I told you to fuck off! It doesn’t affect you!”

He scoffs. “Obviously it does, Natalie.”

She glares at him, opens her mouth, then shakes her head and storms off. He grabs her arm, and she pulls back her fist and-

-

“I’m sorry Jackie.” Nat says sitting on the bench, nursing her wounded fist. 

“Can you at least explain what happened?”

“Travis confessed.”

“Oh?” Jackie sits beside her, suddenly much more interested. 

“And he didn’t take no for an answer.”

“Oh?” This one sounds much more pissed off. “Wait, I thought you liked him?”

“No.” Nat shakes her head. 

“Okay.” Jackie stands back up, re-ties her cleats. “If you’re feeling alright I can convince coach to let you back out on the field.”

Natalie thinks back to her conversation with Lottie, before Travis. 

“Yeah.” Natalie stands up. “We’re making it to Nationals this year.”

“Okay?” 

-

6:23 pm

Matthews 

Are you good?

You left real fast earlier 

Nat

I’m better now

[mirrorselfie.img]

Matthews

Just unprompted? The hottest pic I’ve ever seen?

Nat

im literally covered in sweat and dirt

Matthews

🥵 🥵

What’s that on ur hand tho

Nat

Ahaha

Matthews 

???? Nat?

Nat

Kinda got into a fight? A little bit 🤏

Matthews 

omgg? are you okay?

Nat

oh I’m fine lol

just uh

Remember that thing I said was complicated?

Matthews 

Shit I thought you meant like a situationship

Nat

Hah

He wishes

Literally 

That’s what the fight was about

Matthews

Jesus I hate men

Nat

yeah honestly tho

Matthew 

But you’re for sure okay??

Nat

I promise u I’m fine

I’m gonna win btw

Matthews 

Win what?

Nat 

Nationals

Matthews 

Oh you want me soooo bad

Nat

Okay I was trying to have a moment here

Matthews

Chat am I cooked?

Nat

Ok you ruined it

You need to touch some grass Christ

-

Nat trains hard, they all do. 

With Jackie leading them the Yellowjackets, for once, are actually doing good. They’ve won their last three games and it looks like they’ll make it out of regionals and into States. 

Something that hasn’t happened to Wiskayok high in the last four years. 

(“You should’ve seen it, Lot, it was insane. I kicked it to Van-the goalie!- who kicked it halfway across the field and-”)

Closer than either of them know, Lottie is training just as hard. Except her school team is used to it, they’re winners. It’s why she’s here, her father wouldn’t have sent her to a school that lost. 

(“Nat, it's just so boring! Everything is machine like in its execution and if we don’t do the maneuvers exactly how we practiced we get benched it’s insane !”)

They both make it past regionals, both make it to states. 

The fact that they could meet, if they keep playing if they win doesn’t pass them by. 

They facetime and Nat easily comes to the realization that Lottie’s in New York, when Mari keeps harassing her about being late for the subway. Nat holds it over her head, the tantalizing piece of information that is the fact that Nat knows she’s just one long bus ride away. 

It’s Nat’s third game for states. An away game, which means she gets up early to smoke on the couch outside Van’s trailer and wait for Tai to pick them up, only to get on a bus to sit uncomfortably surrounded by loud and caffeinated teenagers for an hour and a half.

Yeah, it’s safe to say she hates away games.

So she texts Lottie. 

-

Nat

wyd?

Matthews

Avoiding the sunlight

You?

Nat

On a bus with the worlds most obnoxious teenagers

Matthews

Ah

Away game?

Nat

yeah

Unfortunately

Im so bored rn I wish i was in bed

Matthews

I wish i was in your bed too 😉

Nat

Yeah?

Matthews

Absolutely i do

I mean you wouldnt be bored anymore at least

If yknow what i mean 

Nat

Oh ur cocky i see

-

“Why are you smiling so hard?” A voice says beside her ear. 

Natalie jumps about a foot, almost dropping her phone in the process. Jackie’s leaning over the side of her seat, peering down at her. Shauna’s beside her, looking bored and apologetic. 

Nat glares at them both. “None of your business.”

“Why are you being so weird?” Jackie whines. “Who are you texting all the time? Since we’ve ruled out Travis, the only other people you text are Kevyn and Richard, and neither of them would get you blushing like that.” 

Curse her vampire-like pale skin, showing all the heat flushing to her brain. 

“Nobody.” 

“Yeah right!” Van snorts from in front of her, getting up to join in on the teasing. “You’re screentime has to have gone up like two hundred percent in the last three months, you’re always on it.”

Jackie makes grabby hands for the phone and Nat tears it away from her. “Fuck off-” the phone dings with a notification.

Matthews

of course i do

trust me bby ik what im doing

😉

Nat wants to jump out of this fucking bus, because Jackie and Van both most definitely saw that, and Lottie was getting more and more confident with her flirting, both getting more shameless. Everything but admitting what they actually wanted to do. Lottie was toeing the line this morning, and as much as it filled Nat with that warm feeling that disgusted her (she had found herself literally giggling and kicking her feet the other day) she loved the feeling so much more.

Just not when there was an audience. 

“Who’s Matthew?” Jackie says with a shit eating grin.

“Fuck you Taylor.” Nat shoves her phone in her bag.

“No you’re not getting out of this so easy!” Jackie shouts, still smiling hard. 

“Yeah Nat, who’s Matthew?” Van reaches for Nat’s bag.

“Matthew. H?” Melissa was paying attention now, which, fucking great!

“Ew no. Nat are you sexting Matt Howard?” Jackie demands, a disgusted look on her face.

“No!” Nat protests. 

“So you are sexting someone?” Tai speaks up and Nat glares at her. 

“I’m not.” She growls. “Could you all just-”

“Are there any other Matthews in our grade?” Gen asks, absently. Nat feels her eye twitch.

“I don’t think so…” Shauna hesitates to say, wincing when Nat turns the murderous look on her.

“Wait, Matthew Gerro? Natalie! He graduated like two years ago-” The phone buzzes again, and Van whips a hand out to her bag, grabbing it quickly.

“ I bet you look so hot in your soccer kit, ” Van reads, putting on a deep voice. “ Ugh, you haven’t sent any pictures today, I miss you. ”

Nat blushes deeply, she’s sure she’s a bright unmistakable red. Only half of it is pure unadulterated anger. 

“You send him pictures?” Jackie gasps. “Like nudes?”

“No!” Nat tries to grab the phone from Van, who throws it across the aisle to Tai. 

“ You’re leaving me on read? That’s so rude. ” Tai reads. 

“Read from some other time!” Mel urges, bouncing in her seat. 

“Melissa I swear to god I will shove that fuck ass hat so far up your-”

“ Wish I was there so I could kiss that bruise better. ” Tai reads in a shitty impression of the voice Van had been doing. She continues in a high pitched voice, a clear imitation of Nat. “ Is that all you would do? ”

The team is roaring with laughter and Nat wants badly to kill someone. Or herself. 

“He sent a picture!” Tai shouts, and clicks something, pulling it up. Her stupid fucking grin falls quickly, and Shauna gives Nat a panicked look. “Oh.”

This is what gets Tai to hand the phone back. 

“Christ was the photo that bad?” Gen teases. Nat shoved her phone away, avoiding Tai’s eyes full of apologies. 

“Shut up.” Nat mutters. 

“I’m sorry Nat.” Tai stammered. Van looked at her curiously. They communicated something with small jerks of their head and eyebrow twitches. 

“Ohhhhh.” Van replied after a minute. Wincing. Then they continued, whispering uselessly. “But like, hot though?”

“I mean-” Tai replies, shifting her gaze to Nat for one moment, barely flinching at the threat in her eyes. “Yeah, very.”

Gen has shut up too, thankfully, and has distracted Mel with a game on Akilah’s switch. 

“What’s going on?” Jackie asks, absolutely bewildered. “I’m really confused, I thought we were making fun of Nat.”

“Leave her be, Jackie.” Shauna says softly.

“Stop Shauna, I don’t need you to defend me.” Nat snaps. Shauna flinches a little, caught off guard. Jackie frowns, growing angry. Jesus, she didn’t need guard dog Jackie on her ass all day, even if she was harmless she was annoying. Like a chihuahua. “Sorry it’s just-okay, I know you and Tai have like, money on this or something-” Shauna lets out a soft, pleading, no. “But like, the rest of them clearly know.” 

She turns to glare at them all, at least Shauna has the decency too look like she feels bad. That or she’s mourning the fifty she just slipped Tai. 

“But I like girls or whatever.” Nat finishes, quietly. 

“What was that?” Jackie asks, genuine in her confusion.

Nat sighs heavily and sits up. “Matthew is Matthews. It’s a last name. I’ve been like, texting this girl and her last name is Matthews.”

“Oh.” Jackie nods, and then a flash of realization hits her. “ Ohhhhh . So that’s-so you were flirting with a girl?”

“Yeah.”

“And she was flirting back?”

“Obviously, Jackie.” 

“So like, are you two dating?” 

“Shut up, Jackie.” 

-

Nat loved an image

Nat

sry for leaving you on read for so long

My friends took my phone

Matthews

Ohhhh

That makes more sense i got worried for a sec

Wait so did they see…?

Nat

yeah

Matthews

Shit you dont seem too okay with that

Omgg did i out you?

Nat

Nono

Well kind of

Matthews

OMFG im so sorry nat

Nat

Its fine lot.

I was out to one of them and i guess the rest were all betting on me liking girls so theres that

Matthews

I giggled im so sorry

-

“Wait, is that why you’re so determined to win states?”

“What does that have to do with the girl?”

“Fuck off.” 

“Oh my god, she’s a soccer player too!” 

“How the hell did you figure that out?”

“I’m like sherlock holmes.”

“Not enough brain cells to rub together for that.”

“Hey!”

Chapter Text

Lot has invited you to play cup pong

Nat

why?

Lot

im boredddddd

Pleaseeee

Nat

Fineeee

Your turn

-

This is how they realized just how competitive the two of them were. That one game was incredibly intense for something so silly. 

Nat can only imagine what will happen when they play each other. 

Which was looking more and more likely with each game. The Wiskayok Yellowjackets were winning, for the first time in almost a decade they had a successful sports team. It’s not all Nat, though Lottie would say it is. Jackie, as much a hard time they all give her, is a good leader. She knows where everyone needs to be, takes their strengths and weaknesses in account. 

Nat wonders though, if Lottie’s team is all as competitive as she is. If they’re as used to fights and borderline illegal moves on all ends. Shauna and Tai have both only managed to get three yellow cards between them all season, a miracle if there ever was one. Coach Maritnez has threatened them all within an inch of life to be on their best behavior

-

Yellowjackets Bitches!!

Jackie!: natttttt

Jackie!: natalieeeee

Jackie!: where are you????

Vantheman: probably w her gf 

Vantheman: gayass

nat: fuck off?

nat: shes not my gf anyways

Shaunie!: but you want her to be?

nat: coming out to you assholes was a mistake

Tai: yeah yeah

Tai: come see the cats we know you want to

-

They aren’t together. 

Not in the way her friends seem to think. They flirt, they talk at least once a day and have for the better part of the year, and they talk about meeting. Often. About what they’ll do first, about how Nat and her team will beat Lottie’s effortlessly. 

They aren’t together, but Nat feels herself slipping over that cliff, falling deeper and deeper into those warm and terrifying waters below.

Except Lottie’s been sending her hearts from the beginning. She’s been flirting practically since they began talking, and only now has it to be gotten more, toeing that line far too often. 

Nat thinks she could love Lottie. More than she’d ever loved anyone. More than Kevyn or Travis, and definitely more than Bobby. 

Nat thinks she even wants to love Lottie. With her deep brown eyes and her deeper love for any animal. Lottie with her soft brown hair and bottomless well of knowledge. Nat won trivia in biology last class because of her.

Yeah, maybe Nat wants to be with Lottie Matthews. In the exact way her friends think.

God, she’s such a loser, thinking about her all the time. On the bus to school, in particularly boring classes. Zoning out when Jackie talks to her at practice and coming back to reality with sore cheeks and a stupid fucking smile.

-

Nat

[catpile.img]

Hiiiiiiiiii lottttttt

Whats up w you???

Lot

Adorable picture omg

Also who are you and what have you done to natalie?

Nat

Howd you know it wasnt her :0

Lot

Too many i’s

She’d never show herself to be THAT excited smh

Nat

Okayyy yeah thats fair

Its jackie! Idk if she mentioned me

which if not, is frankly rude and hurtful

Also van is here

Lot

Yes! She has mentioned van, urs is aslan right?

And jackie….bubbles?

Nat

Well yes youre correct

But she’s talked about van and not me??

Lot

lol yeah 

But it was one of the first convos she accidentally messaged me instead of van when aslan left a gift for her

She doesn’t actually talk about herself much…

Nat

Nat? Our nat?? Being secretive and guarded? Never

That was sarcastic btw

Lot

LMAO

yeah i assumed

-

“I’ll kill you both.” 

“No you won’t.”

“Plus! Lottie’s really cool, don’t you want friend acceptance?”

“Exactly, its like taking her home to meet your family.”

“You stole my phone and then locked me in the bathroom!”

“Wait who’s the dad?”

“Shauna, she’d like have a gun nearby the whole time.”

“No, Jackie’s the dad, Shauna’s the mom.”

“Why am I the mom? What gender roles are we pushing here-”

“Not even going to protest being married to Jackie? Okay…”

“I don’t want them to be my parents. They’d threaten to divorce each other like once a week.”

-

Lot

So your friends made me think abt something the other day

Nat

Oh god

I may kill them, but continue?

Lot

lol

But no its just, do i talk about myself too much?

Like it just feels like i talk about everything about myself and i dont think i know much about you? 

Like you never talk about your friends by name, you only really talk about them if its about the cats

Nat

Oh

Is that why you’ve been weird?

Lot

Im not weird!!!!

Nat

You are, but thats okay i love it anyway

Lot

Okay fineeeee

But I guess it is? Idk i just worry that like, im taking over our convos with my own stuff

Nat

ok

But you arent tho? Like i want you to talk about what you like, its soothing in a way. I like it when you get excited abt stuff and ramble about it. 

Its cute

Lot

You called me cute 🥰

Nat

God youre such a loserrrr

I was trying to be kind oml

Lot

You say loser and all i hear is “im in love with you”

Nat

Maybe i am

How how do i delerte messages from other ppls phones

-

“Shauna.” Nat hisses at her in english. When the girl doesn’t look up at her she poke her with a pencil and repeats herself. “Shauna.”

“Oh my god, what?” Shauna turns to glare at her. 

“I think I fucked up?” Nat says, and Shauna’s gaze softens. She stands up, and goes over to their teachers desk and speaks with her a moment.

When she returns she grabs her book bag and kicks Nat’s chair out a little. “Come on. Let’s go to the library.”

This has been their spot, ever since that first time. They’ve been back three times since. Last time was because Shauna nearly slammed Jeff’s head into a desk and Nat knew she had to get her away from that. Shauna is probably the best player, they can’t lose her now.

Nat slides into her chair and Shauna sits in the one beside her. 

“What did you do this time?” Shauna asks immediately. Nat shoves her head into the table, face heating up, she mumbles something unintelligible. “What? I didn’t catch that.”

Nat turns her head to the side and glares. “I told her I loved her.”

Shauna gapes for a moment. “Natalie what?”

Nat shows her the message. Shauna whistles low. “Wow, I mean yeah I guess you did that.” 

“You’re still useless you know?”

“So do you?” 

“Do I what?”

“You know.” Shauna shuffles in place. “Love her?”

Nat pauses. 

Yeah. Yeah she does. But Shauna doesn’t need to know all that, it isn’t her business-

“And please don’t lie to me. It’s a rule.” 

“What rule?” Nat huffs. 

“Sharing table rule.” Shauna’s face screws up as soon as the words left her mouth. “Yeah, no I hated that too as soon as I heard it.”

Nat thinks it over another moment. “Yeah. It’s crazy, but I do.”

“It’s not crazy.” Nat gives her a pointed look. “Okay, maybe a little. But she’s kind and she cares. She’s kind of…perfect for you.” 

“What do you mean?”

“She’s good for you Nat. She’s drawn you out of your shell, and I know you walls are built like-just so high, but you want to lower them for her don’t you?” Shauna begins. Nat nods slowly as her response. “And you talk all the time, she teaches you things, and you do the same. Nat, we’ve been in the same classes for almost thirteen years and I’ve never seen you this happy.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.”  

Nat thinks about it further. The hours she’s spent talking to her. She’s spent thinking about her. The last weekend trip for a tournament, Jackie made them all wake up early to go to a farmers market. Everyone was cranky and practically zombies, especially Nat. But when she saw a stall selling those gemstones Lottie mentioned a couple times she’d brightened enough for Van to look at her in deep confusion. She nearly blew forty dollars that day.

Once she spent the longest time rambling about music theory to Lottie, while she just looked on in content. Nat can’t listen to music without thinking of her, of wondering if Lottie would like, or if she would wrinkle her nose adorably, in that way she does when she dislikes something.

Lottie complained about having to do chemistry homework, and Nat helped her with it. Lottie later mentioned her grade had gone from it’s lagging seventy to a solid eighty four. 

They had movie nights, Nat made supper while on call with her, and she talked to Mari and Lottie before parties. 

“Oh.” Nat repeats. “I’m in love.”

“Yeah, that’s- yeah I know.” Shauna mumbles, she’s smirking at her. Nat narrows her eyes. “You just zoned out for like five minutes and had just-the stupidest smile.” 

“Fuck off.” 

“Still smiling.”

-

Nat

I want to make a bet

Lot

? sure

Whats the bet

Nat

If i win you have to take me to supper

Lot

Is this you asking me out????

Nat

Wouldnt you like to know

Lot

Yes actually!!!!

Wait what if i win

Nat

You wont

-

“Nat you need to-” Jackie pants, doubled over and sweating. “Calm down- holy shit I can’t breath. ”

Nat paused, stopping the ball under her foot. “Hm? Why what’s wrong?”

“We’ve been practicing for two hours.” Shauna’s rubbing circles into Jackie’s back. “Practice ended an hour ago.”

“I have a date!” Van calls from the other side of the field. Tai, a few feet from Nat, nods earnestly. 

“Sorry,” Nat mutters. Jackie softens and stands upright. 

“It’s fine, I get it.” Jackie says. “But you have to chill out.”

Nat bristles. “We have to win states.” 

“We’re all trying to do that, Natalie.” Tai frowns. “Do you think we’re here to fuck around? No, I’m here to win.”

The two stare each other down for a minute. Both on the defensive, waiting for other to strike, to lash out. After a moment, Nat backs down. “Yeah you’re right, sorry I just-”

“Dug yourself into a hole of pride with your girlfriend-” Shauna starts. 

“No my girlfriend.”

“-and now if you want to meet her you have to get to nationals.”

Nat looked at the ground. When she looked up she saw that the rest of the team was still staring. “What?” She snaps, then kicks at the ground to avoid their eyes. “Shauna’s fuckin’ right I’m not gonna attack her or something.”

Van is clearly trying to hold in a smile. “Baby Natalie, all grown up and in love.”

Nat flips them off, and boots the ball towards their face. 

-

They fucking win states. 

They fucking won.

Shauna boots it length wise across the field when Jackie makes the call, not even looking up, knowing that Jackie will catch it, that she’ll be there. And she is. Jackie leaps when it goes a little high, headbutting it direct into the net. 

Then the whistle blows and they fucking won. 

“We’re going to motherfucking nationals!” Nat is laughing like a maniac in the team huddle, everyone clinging to each other cheering.

“Buzz buzz buzz buzz-”

-

Lottie’s game ends with a penalty kick. 

A girl on her own team kept provoking another player, trying to get her to break with barely illegal moves and hissed insults. It works, and Lottie gets to make the kick since it ended with a red card on the other side and a broken nose on their own.

She doesn’t feel great about it, but with the game score tied at nothing there’s not much else she can do. 

She steps up, stares down the exhausted goalie with her arms raised weakly. She takes a deep breath, and closes her eyes. She thinks of Natalie, knowing that Nationals are being held in seattle, that they’ll finally be in the same city…

Lottie opens her eyes, pulls her foot back and boots it suddenly and quickly into a high corner, too fast for the goalie to have the reaction time, to leap and knock it back out. 

She grins, as her team cheers and the other all but collapses. She grins, thinking only of bleach blonde hair and soft words.

-

Nat

We fucking won Lot

Lot

Im so proud omg thats amazing!!!

Nat

Thanks yeah it was really good an amazing game

Your game is tmr right?

Lot

It issssss

Can  get a kiss for gl??

Nat

Hahaha

But sure

Lot 

AFJSALJA

THAT WORKED??

Nat

Youre such a loser 

But youll do great 

-

Lot

I DID IT

WE WON IM SO HAPPY RN

Nat

Thats awesome lottie!!!!!

Lot

That means i see you in three days…

😍😍😍

Nat

It does wait

I cannot wait for you to have to spend all of daddys money buying me supper

Lot

I cant either babe 😘

I mean if i win i still want smth

Nat

U wont but go on

Lot

Very confident in yourself

Nat

I am i cant have you beating me when youre such a loser

Lot

Well im SORRY i think ur hot is that my fault???

Thats right cause its all ur fault, hottie

Nat

Your cute

What do you want if you by some miracle beat us?

Lot

Something small

Just a little kiss from you 😉

Nat

sure

Lot

Holy shit it worked

I mean uh

Game on loser

Nat

Oh your talking shit now? You little bitch…

-

They have to fly to seattle. The team had a fundraiser at the beginning of the year to help pay for the flight. It’s only from Nat’s shitty part time job she’s able to scrape enough together to cover the rest of it, and Van’s job at the video store in town pays for their ticket. 

Nat’s never been in a plane before, she’s excited and nervous and excited for…other things.

Tai and Van are cuddled in front of her, beside her she sees Jackie sneak Shauna a pill of something. Valium Nat thinks she hears. 

All around them are other passengers, men in business suits, family’s, children. A whole plane of people, filled at such an early time. Nat puts her head phones in and scrolls to her downloaded playlist, titled Lot <3, and closes her eyes. 

A weight settles beside her a few moments later, but she ignores it. Someone pokes her leg, and she frowns, cracking one eye open only to jolt upright when she sees Travis beside her. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Nat hisses. “I thought it was clear I never wanted to talk to you again.”

Travis winces. “I-I wanted to say sorry, it was, that was fucked up.”

“Yeah, you think?” Nat lets herself calm a little, loosen up her muscles. “Yeah it was fucked Travis. I don’t fucking belong to you.”

“I know.” He nods solemnly. “You’re right. I did want to apologize-I missed you.”

“Travis…” Nat starts.

“Not like that, we were friends first and-I miss being your friend.” He sticks a hand out. “Truce?”

“Fine.” She accepts it. “We can truce for now, I won’t like punch you out of nowhere.”

“Unless I deserve it?”

“Well, obviously.” 

-

Nat

I’m about to take off

Im rlly nervous

Lot

Aww 

Youll be fine its just a plane theyre safer than cars

Nat

Ik that

Idk im excited and a bit scared and worried well lose so now its just anxiety

Lot

Mhm i understand

I mean if you lose i get to kiss you so i wont be too mad-

Nat

Haha lottie

Ill still beat you

Lot

Well you gotta make it through the rest of the tournament first

Nat

Im not worried about that

The ohio team is only here due to technicality and their our first so that’ll be a breeze

Lot

Wait fr howd you know?

Nat

Our equipment manager has scary levels of knowledge on all of our opponents.

-

They play two games before Nat spots her. And it’s not even on the field. During each game Natalie would scan the bleacher, but it’s difficult is the stadium the games were being held in.

She would have gone to the other games, if Martinez wasn’t still running practice like an army base. It was the morning, Nat was wandering outside the hotel, looking desperately for caffeine, when she saw her, leaning over to pet a golden retriever. 

She smiled, and was about to approach her, when Jackie texted her and Van to come to her room.

-

3x3

Jax: im screaming someone needs to help me right now

Van: whats wrogn????i was sleep

Nat: im on my way up

Nat: this better be good taylor….

Jax: IKISSED SHAUNA

Nat: well fuck yeah ig

Van: WHAT

Jax: pleaseeee hurry up she left and idk what to doo im freaking out.

-

When Shauna returned, Van and Nat were forced to play good cop bad cop until Shauna revealed that she’d just panicked. That she had wanted it to be special and ended up buying flowers. 

Van squealed while Jackie fawned over the flowers, and Nat begrudgingly backed off. But not before getting the address to the shop Shauna had been to. 

-

They played game number three the next day, and Nat still had yet to spot Lottie again. She kept a watchful eye out, one that almost got her hit in the face by a stray soccer ball. 

She didn’t see Lottie at lunch, but she did find Mari, somehow. 

Nat had been looking for her team, and saw Misty’s curly blonde head of hair and decided to start there, she got along with the girl well enough. Then she saw she was excitedly talking to someone. Mari, who looked…Nat was too far away to tell, and she didn’t know Mari that well.

“Hey, Quigley!” Nat calls, approaching her. Both of them look up, Misty’s smile brightens further.

“Natalie, I’m glad you’re here, this is-”

“Hey Nat.” Mari interrupts, Misty tilts her head.

“You two know each other already?”

“Yeah, she’s Lottie’s friend.” Nat explains. “What were you saying though Misty?”

“I was going to introduce you to Mari, she twisted her ankle coming through the doors and I offered to help her in!” Misty said. Mari avoided Nat’s gaze, which, weird and suspicious but okay.

“Yeah I was just, um.” Mari muttered. “Lottie’s still on the field, coach wanted to talk to her, but if you wanted to wait-”

“Nat! Misty!” Jackie called. They looked to where she was waving them over. “Coach wants a team meeting before our next game!”

-

Lot

You ssaw mari before me???

Im crying you made me cry

Nat

Baby

Lot

Now is not the time for cute pet names!!

Nat

No i was calling you a baby

Lot

:(((( 

Nat

Im sorry i did try looking for you

She was talking to my friend

Lot

The blonde yeah?

Nat

Mhm misty

Howd you know?

Lot

Lmao mari hasnt shut up about her

I think she has a crushhhhh

Nat

Ohhhhhh

Thats what the look was lol

Lot

Look?

Nat

Oh mari is absolutely falling did she say anything about a broken ankle?

Lot

No?

WAIT

Nat

Mistys the unofficial team medic

Lot

DID MARI FAKE A FUCKING INJURY TO TALK TO HER???

Oh im never letting her live this down…

Nat

And you shouldnt

Ight i gotta go play this game ill brb

Lot

Okayyyy

Good luck kisses 

-

The entirety of the tournament was three days, plus the awards ceremony and a break day. The entirety of it spanned a week, since they’d left monday they would be returning the following one. 

It meant she’d be able to see Lottie at least one of the days. Yet somehow they kept narrowly missing each other. Lottie had run into Tai at the gym inside the hotel, but had to go solve a friend problem before Nat could get there. 

Van had met a blonde girl, Nat later learned was Laura Lee, in the elevator. Misty had met with Mari two more times, once with Jackie. 

That ended in a conversation with Jackie coming to the stark realization how many of the girls she knew were gay as well. 

They didn’t see each other until the final day. Both had managed to not play each other for so long, and the Yellowjackets were killing it on the field, it was the best a team from Wiskayok had ever played. They were sweaty and spent every night, and all went immediately to bed after eating. 

-

Nat

Lottie

We fucking made it

Im playing the fucking finals tmr

Lot

Thats amazing im so happy for you!!!!

Nat

Your last game is about to start right??

Lot

Yes!!! 

Ill win dw sweetheart 😉

Nat

Haha

Im not worried im sure youll be great

Youre amazing and youve made it this far

Lot

Omggg

Ur so nice to me 🥰

Lot

Nat nat nat

NATALIEEEE

Nat

? what happened are you okay??

Lot

Im amazing!!!

Cause i won 🥳🥳🥳

Nat

Holy shit lot!!!!!

Thats so awesome im so so proud of you i knew youd do it

Lot

That means your team is the yellowjackets…from new jersey….

Which means you were a bus ride away this entire time!

Nat

Yeahhhh

Hehe

I wanted to surprise you!

Lot

Im mad at you u being cute means nothing rn

Nat

Im sure ill make it up to you

-

When Nat gets changed in the locker rooms the next day she’s grinning and dancing along with the music Jackie blasts. She’s been in a great mood all morning, which seems to help team morale immensely. 

Before they leave Van claps her on the back and says. “Don’t get too distracted out there.” 

Nat rolls her eyes and shoves them off, gently though. Her mood is too good to ruin. 

The Yellowjackets are the first out on the field, and Nat is searching, trying to seem calm as she frantically scans the other side. 

Then Lottie’s team arrives, clad in silver jerseys and dark navy shorts. 

Lottie’s long hair is tied into two pigtails, her bangs pushed behind her ears as best she could. Her equipment looks expensive, and her cleats are miraculously clean, like they were just washed. She looks almost lost, like she’s looking for something, eyes squinted beneath the bright sun. Nat’s certain she looks the same.

Finally, finally, their eyes connect, locking onto each other. Lottie’s brown eyes tear themselves away momentarily to take Nat in, before she’s looking back at her with a stupid grin. 

Nat shakes her head endearingly in reply to Lottie raising her hand subtly to say hi, and then the ref is calling the game to a start. 

It’s hard. Lottie’s team is good , technically capable, like they’ve trained since they were five. The yellowjackets on the other hand, are good in the way that they’re unpredictable. Their calls are near gibberish, and sometimes (in the case of Jackie and Shauna) they don’t even make calls, don’t even look to who their passing to. 

As they near the final ten minutes the teams are a hard 1-1, and the other team calls for a time out.

Nat is grateful for the water break, but when she looks at where the other team is huddled, Lottie is frowning deeply at a girl Nat can only assume is team captain. Laura Lee’s lips are pressed tight, disapproving. 

“Something’s going on…” Nat says to whoever’s nearest.

“Hm?” Jackie replies. “Why do you say that?” 

“Lottie doesn’t like whatevers being said.” Nat frowns, brow furrowed. “It’s fine just, be careful.” 

Jackie nods, accepting the answer easily enough. 

They’re back on the field moments later, and Natalie notices a difference immediately. The girl guarding Shauna is much more aggressive than before. Nothing illegal, just annoying. Frustrating. 

She almost trips Shauna up, and when Shauna tries to save herself it only makes her fall faster. The girl winces, fake , smiles widely, fake , and offers an arm to help Shauna up. Shauna scowls at it, but accepts it. The girl pulls her up, and hisses something, something that makes her tense up. 

They were provoking Shauna. 

Which, yeah if you were to choose any player that’s the one to go with. 

Shauna looks to Tai, who shakes her head, motions for her to calm down. Shauna nods, looks at Jackie, who smiles warmly. Play is still going, but the girl nearest Jackie must notice, because suddenly Jackie has elbows in her ribs and her ball stolen aggressively. 

Fuck. 

Jackie almost trips a minute later trying to regain possession, and Nat almost runs to help her, but not before someone is running past and hip checking her hard enough to fall over. 

No one can stop Shauna, the fastest Yellowjacket, sprinting over and shoving the girls off Jackie. 

Nat runs over to hold her back, knowing there is no universe where this ends well. 

The ref blows his whistle, Shauna’s standing above a girl who’s on the ground, looking furious. The referee holds up a red card, and fuck they’re screwed. 

They’re in overtime with a free kick against them and Shauna on the bench. 

Coach is lecturing her, and Jackie frowning deeply beside her. They've swapped out two players, and it’s clear most see this as a dead end. That they’ve already lost. 

Nat grabs Lottie’s arm as they all go into position. One of her teammates tenses. “Lottie,” Nat hisses. “What the fuck was that?”

“I know.” Lottie’s eyes are wide and filled with guilt. “I’m sorry, I hate-”

“Charlotte!” The coach calls. “It’s your kick!”

“I’m sorry, I-” Lottie winces when her coach yells to her again. She moves into position, the ball in front of her, and Nat can see a swirling hurricane of emotions cross her face. 

Then she opens her eyes, and stares down Van, and Nat has a similar inward conflict. She doesn’t want to lose like this. Lottie nods subtly at Van, who tilts their head, and Lottie nods again. A look like realization hits Van. Lottie’s foot swings back, and Van reaches out and grabs the ball with two hands. 

They throw it back into play and Nat runs out, gaining control and sprinting across the field with it. She passes to Mel, who runs the rest of the way before passing it backwards to a sprinting Taissa who boots it, slamming it into the net before the goalie has the time to process the situation. 

The whistle blows and Nat feels arms wrap around her from behind. 

“You fucking won!” Lottie shouts beside her ear. “You fucking won, I’m so proud-” 

Nat turns around in the girls arms, and presses her lips to hers, grabbing her face with two hands, kissing her like it’s the best thing she’s ever done. It takes Lottie by surprise, before she’s melting into it, grabbing Nat’s hips. 

Another weight slams into Nat’s back and suddenly the two of them are surrounded by cheering Yellowjackets. They tear away from each other, and Lottie’s giggling, Nat’s laughing. Genuinely happy. She feels warmth in her chest, pride at having won, happy, giddy almost, to have finally kissed Lottie. 

“I love you.” She whispers, head pressed against Lottie’s in the huddle of girls. 

“Does this mean I’m taking you out on a date now?” Lottie has that stupid grin on her face again, large and blushing. 

“Obviously.” Nat presses a small kiss to the corner of her mouth. “You fucking loser.”