Archive of Our Own

     It should be illegal to be as pretty as Regina George. Even after being hit by a bus and going through several months of recovery, she looks perfect. Better than before, even. The old Regina was never this warm, never laughed this easily or smiled this big. The old Regina never looked across a bonfire at Cady and shot her a crooked grin and a wink. 

     “Babe, were you even listening?” Aaron asks, shaking Cady’s hand where it’s knotted through his. 

     “Sorry, I totally spaced,” Cady says, still gazing into Regina’s eyes. Even though she should, she knows she won’t be the first to look away. 

     “Do you wanna dance?” Aaron asks out of the blue. 

     “If you want,” Cady says, still unable to look away. She feels Aaron stand up next to her, sees Regina’s gaze flicker over to him briefly before she looks back at Cady. She wrinkles her nose and sticks her tongue out like a playground bully before she looks away, leaning back on Shane Oman. 

     Cady is unreasonably jealous. Shane and Regina were hooking up before she got hit, but Cady had assumed they’d broken up. Shane Oman doesn’t exactly seem like an “in sickness and in health” sort of guy.

     With the way Regina is perched in Shane’s lap, she wonders if her assumption was wrong. 

     Aaron clears his throat.

     Cady looks up at her boyfriend and lets him pull her over near the massive speaker that’s currently blaring some top 40 song. 

     She leans against his shoulder as they sway, but her eyes stay glued to Regina. 

———

     It happens again at school. Janis is saying something about… something, and Regina is sitting at the other end of the lunch table, laughing at whatever Karen said. Her eyes crinkle and her nose scrunches and she tilts her head back, wincing a little. Cady wants to gently cup her hands around the back of Regina’s neck, wants to support her head and give her surely aching muscles a break. 

     That’s a perfectly platonic urge, right?

     “Caddy, are you even listening?”

     “Sorry,” Cady says, looking at Regina just long enough for Regina to notice. Her eyes flit to Janis. “I’ve just been really distracted lately.”

     “Mmh hmm,” Damian says, a devious smile overtaking his face. “Thinking about Aaron?”

     “What? Why would I be thinking about him?”

     “Uh, ‘cause he’s your boyfriend?”

     “Got me there,” Cady says with a nervous smile, going back to pushing her canned peaches around her plate. 

———

     Cady’s… feelings about Regina get really bad at the first “not-plastics” sleepover of the year. Regina may be a lot less uptight now, but she’s still as prissy as ever. Cady showed up to the pajama party in a blue henley and sesame street PJ pants. 

     Regina greeted her at the door in a matching pink monogrammed shorts and tank-top set, and Cady had to remind herself to keep breathing. 

     The suffocating feeling in her chest only gets worse as the night goes on. Regina’s always been kind of funny in a bitchy way, but seeing her make sincere jokes, sometimes at her own expense? She’s hilarious. It’s clear that she still thrives on having the attention of everyone in the room, but she no longer has to push other people down to get it. 

     In a stroke of luck (good or bad, Cady doesn’t know), she ends up next to Regina while they watch Clueless. They don’t make it very far into the movie before Cady notices Regina squirming around and wincing. 

     “You okay?” Cady asks, her voice softer and quieter than she means for it to be. 

     Regina nods and shoots her a tiny smile. 

     “Just my back. It doesn’t—sitting in the same position for any length of time irritates it.”

     “Oh,” Cady says, her stomach clenching in panic as she remembers Regina lying there on the ground, dead. “You can lean on me, if you want. I mean, if it’s more comfortable.”

     “Thanks,” Regina says, gently patting Cady’s thigh. 

     Cady swallows. 

     Regina shifts around for a few more minutes before she finally leans her head on Cady’s shoulder, just barely touching. She’s still quite fidgety until Cady wraps an arm around her and pulls her even closer. 

     Regina sighs. 

     “Better?” Cady asks, her words barely a hum against Regina’s head. 

     Regina nods, patting Cady’s thigh again. 

———

     Cady doesn’t pick up any of the plot in the last 40 minutes of the movie because during that time, Regina starts tracing gentle fingers along her thigh. Just little patterns, a loop-de-loop here, a flower there. Cady thinks she might trace a word at some point, but she has no idea which one. She swears she feels an M, but maybe it's just her imagination. 

     To her relief, Regina doesn’t immediately get up when the movie finishes. She stays in her spot almost on Cady’s lap, her eyes slipping shut. 

     “Okay, now this? This is the gayest shit I’ve ever seen,” Janis says with a shit-eating grin, lifting a disposable camera to snap a pic of the two of them. Regina’s become obsessed with disposable cameras lately. Cady doesn’t question it. She doesn’t question anything that makes Regina happy, really. 

     “Fuck off, pyro lez,” Regina mumbles, burrowing her head into Cady’s neck. “Cady has a boyfriend.”

     Oh shit, yeah. Cady DOES have a boyfriend. Cady forgot about him there for a minute, just like she always seems to when Regina’s around. 

     “How does that not make you gay as hell?” Janis presses. 

     Regina tilts her head up to meet Janis’s eyes. 

     “And what if I am?” She counters. 

     The smile slips from Janis’s face for a second, but she recovers. 

     “Then all that shit in middle school makes so much more fucking sense.”

     Regina nods. 

     “I’m still sorry about.. all that.”

     “You got pancaked by a bus and it was a little bit my fault. I think that evens us out,” Janis reminds her. 

     Regina nods again. “I am, by the way.”

     “Sorry? Yeah, you said that. Like—“

     “No, I mean. I’m gay.”

     Every head turns to Regina. Most people were already focused on her, so it’s not that big of an accomplishment, but still. 

     Cady’s staring at her hard.

     “What, like that’s such a big surprise? All the signs were there. I thought you losers were smarter than this,” Regina rambles, the ghost of bitchiness past resurfacing for a moment. She’s nervous, Cady realizes. So, just like always, Cady does her best to fix it. 

     “I think it’s great,” Cady says, and Janis snorts out a laugh next to her.

     “Something to say, Lez Dykowitz?” Regina taunts, and Janis full-on laughs. 

     “Just that I think it’s great too,” Janis says, shooting her a smile. She can’t resist adding “But, you know. Maybe for different reasons than Cady.”

     Cady tilts her head in confusion, looking at Regina like she’s got the answer. Regina shoots her a rueful smile. 

     “Yeah, maybe,” Regina says, crinkling her nose.

     Cady wants to kiss it, but she’s pretty sure that’s not the correct response to your friend coming out—especially when you have a boyfriend and you’re straight—so she refrains.

———

     “How did you know you were gay?” Cady asks Janis in figure drawing. It’s an intro level class that Janis has already aced twice, so she’s technically just the TA, but she spends every class “helping” Cady—aka, doodling next to Cady while they chat.

     “What?” Janis asks, because hey, she wasn’t expecting this question at 7:30 on a Monday morning.

     “Nothing,” Cady says, trying to laugh the question off. “I’m just being nosy.”

     Neither of them speaks for a few moments, the quiet scratch of pencil on paper the only sound in this mostly-empty classroom. 

     “It was Regina, actually,” Janis says, not looking up from her incredibly realistic sketch of Damian. “We—um, we used to “practice” kissing. At sleepovers. When she got her first boyfriend, I was like… deeply depressed over it, and that’s when I realized that there was something a little different about me. I didn’t tell her that when I came out, but I think she knew. Then when I started dating Callie Collins freshman year, I was like oh, yeah, I’m gay. So gay. Like, whatever is beyond gay, that’s what I am. I never want to even look at a man again. Besides Damian, of course.”

     “Of course,” Cady says, shooting her a little smile. “Everyone loves Damian.”

     “He’s an incredibly lovable guy. Even Shane Oman thinks so.”

     Cady’s head whips around. “Wait, Damian and Shane? I thought Shane was still hung up on Regina. Do you think he’s secretly gay?”

     “No,” Janis laughs, shading part of Damian’s ear.

     “Oh,” Cady sighs, deflating. “So maybe he is still hung up on Regina.”

     “Maybe,” Janis says with a knowing grin. “I think Shane’s into a lot of things.”

     “What do you mean?” Cady asks, so adorable and so confused. 

     “I mean Shane fucks. Like, he fucks .”

     “He’s had sex,” Cady says with a nod. “With Regina. She told me.”

     “No, I know that,” Janis says, another laugh bubbling out. “I mean—I just think Shane’s down for a lot, is what I’m saying. I don’t think he’s been super picky after Regina.”

     “Oh,” Cady says, still not really understanding. “I mean, yeah. Once you’ve already slept with the hottest person alive, I guess you can kind of do what you want. Everyone’s a downgrade from Regina.”

     “I’m gonna tell Damian you said that,” Janis says, and Cady looks at her in panic. Janis laughs. 

     “I’m kidding, Caddy. It’s a joke,” Janis says, still smiling at her socially inept friend. God, she loves this little (bisexual, if she had to guess) idiot. 

     “So Shane and Damian…”

     “Not yet,” Janis tells her, focusing back on her drawing. “Damian’s trying to act all cool about it, but I think he really likes Shane. Hell, even I like Shane. Not—I don’t wanna fuck Shane, but I do think he’s a cool guy. He came to the school prelims for the art show, did you know that?”

     “I would’ve come! You told me not to.”

     “Yeah, ‘cause it’s just a formality. But Shane didn’t know that. He heard me talking about it in APUSH and thought it might be important to me, so he came.”

     “That’s really sweet,” Cady says, almost like she’s mad about it. 

     “It is,” Janis says, still grinning.

     “What?” Cady snaps.

     “You just seem, like, pissed. That Shane’s a nice guy.”

     “I’m not,” Cady says, rolling her eyes. (She so is.) “I just… ugh. I want to not like him, but he’s really hard to not like.”

     “Why do you want to not like him?”

     Cady doesn’t say anything, but her face flushes red. They both know why Cady doesn’t like Shane, and they both know it’s got nothing to do with Shane himself and everything to do with North Shore’s premier hot blonde girl. 

     “So, like,” Cady starts after a couple silent minutes. “You just… kissed Regina, and then you knew? Have you ever kissed a boy?”

     “A couple,” Janis says, her nose wrinkling in disgust. “Kissed Damian once, actually. I love that man, but we could not be less each other’s type.”

     “Is Regina your type?” Cady asks, sounding all defensive again. 

     “Is she yours?” Janis counters. 

     Cady’s face gets even redder, somehow. She mumbles something, but Janis doesn’t quite catch it.

     “What?”

     “I don’t know,” Cady says, making fervent eye contact with the bird she drew on her paper. “I mean—I like boys, so.”

     “So?”

     “Well, that’s—that’s the end of it, isn’t it?” Cady asks, wringing her hands, unsure what she wants Janis’s answer to be. Because if she like -likes Regina, all of this makes so much sense, but it also complicates things. 

     Massively. 

     “Cady,” Janis says softly. Cady closes her eyes out of fear that she might do something stupid like cry.

     Janis winds an arm around her hand squeezes. 

     “You could be bi, you know? Or pan. Or gay, or straight, or anything, really. However you feel, you don’t owe it to anyone to define yourself. But whatever you are, you know I support you 1000%, right? We all do,” Janis says, relieved when Cady presses their heads together.

     “Thanks, Jan. I, um. I support you too.”

     “Obviously. You took this class just so you could hang out with the cool art lesbian. I know you like me.” 

     “Yeah,” Cady says with a croaky laugh. “Hey, Janis?”

     “Yes, Caddy?”

     “I think I might be in love with Regina.”

     “In love?” Janis says, because okay yeah, she kinda knew that, but to hear Cady say she only likes boys and then say she’s in love with Regina in the next breath… it makes no fuckin’ sense. 

     “Yeah,” Cady says, and this is the most confident she’s sounded all morning. “Like—I’m kind of obsessed with her. It’s sort of bad. I saw Gretchen tuck Reggie’s hair behind her ear and I wanted to, like… beat Gretchen up.”

     “Reggie? Oh, Caddy,” Janis says, laughing a little too loudly. Her art teacher glares up at her, so Janis flips him off. 

     He gives her the finger right back. She loves Mr. Rapp. 

     “What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel like that?” Cady asks, laying her head down on her desk. 

     “Jealousy, if I had to guess.”

     “I was jealous of Regina last year when she got back with Aaron. This feels… different.”

     “Have you ever had a crush on a girl before?” Janis asks, and Cady shakes her head. “I’ve always thought girls were pretty, but I’ve never wanted to— um . Never wanted to date one before.”

     “And you want to date Regina?”

     “So bad,” Cady says, pressing her cheek to the table as she looks up at Janis. “Like—I want to hold her hand, and call her my girlfriend, and kiss her scrunchy nose.”

     “You’ve got it bad,” Janis says, rubbing her back. “Not to be the relationship police, but you do have a boyfriend.”

     “I know,” Cady groans, shutting her eyes again as she presses her face further into the table. “And I did really like Aaron… at first. I think. But I just—how is he ever supposed to compare to Regina? How is any man ever supposed to compare to Regina?”

     “Listen, I get it,” Janis says, giving Cady’s back a final pat before she pulls away. Cady sits up, leaning her head in her hand instead of on her desk. “It’s like, basically a lesbian rite of passage at North Shore to crush on Regina George. I mean, I’m way out of that phase because I don’t hate myself, but I get it. She is eurocentric beauty standards personified, and you are a basic white girl. Your crush makes complete and total sense, Caddy.”

     Cady huffs. “It’s not just—okay, yeah, she’s, like, the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, but it’s not just—she was a total bitch last year. She was. But she was also, like, really sweet? Once she started to trust me, she was… I think my crush started then. Or maybe before then. I don’t know. Then everything happened with Aaron and I felt so… mad . Like—why would she do that to me, you know?”

     “I mean, I’m not 100% sure. Regina George is a special kind of sociopath,” Janis says, laughing when Cady glares at her. Cady’s so whipped already. She’s definitely a sapphic of some sort, to already be down this disgustingly bad for a girl she’s not even with. “But, if I had to guess, she did it because she’s into you.”

     “What?” Cady asks, her head popping up out of her hands. She looks at Janis slack jawed and wide-eyed. “No way.”

     “Fucking duh, Caddy. Regina doesn’t even like Aaron. She never has, even before she was gay. He’s annoying, and stupid. Sorry,” Janis says, putting her hands up in surrender. 

     Cady waves her off. 

     “She just… didn’t want you to date him. So she dated him instead. At least, that’s what I think. Just one lesbian’s opinion. Maybe she just did it because she’s a life ruiner, and she wanted to ruin your life.”

     Cady chews on the inside of her lip. Before they can talk about it any more, the bell rings. Cady quickly shoves all her art stuff in her bag, staring at her sad attempt at a lilac-breasted roller before she unceremoniously shoves it in too. She knows the drawing is shitty, because Janis doesn’t even try to stop her shoving and convince her to put the piece in her class folder instead. She hurries to her locker, hoping to catch a glimpse of Regina and maybe even say hello before the next class starts. Regina’s not at her locker (which is, thankfully, next to Cady’s) when Cady arrives, so Cady takes her time switching out her books for her next class. 

     “Hey,” Regina says. Cady startles, then turns around. 

     “Regina, hey,” she says, nervously tucking her hair back behind her ear. Regina grins at her hard, nose scrunch and all, and God, Cady is so screwed. Her eyebrows wrinkle slightly, and before Cady has time to ask what’s wrong, Regina is cupping Cady’s face in her hand. 

     Breathe, Cady. In, out, in, out, in, in—er…out!  

     Cady coughs, but only a little, and Regina’s look of worry becomes more intense.

     “Are you okay?” She asks, her thumb gently skimming Cady’s cheek, and Cady is…

     “Y-uh, yeah,” Cady says, feeling a dopey grin spread across her face, and she’s powerless to stop it. 

     “Good,” Regina says, smiling back at her. “You have something on your cheek.”

     Cady quickly brings her hands to her face, as if she’ll be able to feel whatever it is, unintentionally trapping Regina’s hand beneath hers. 

     Regina just keeps rubbing her cheek. 

     “Come with me,” she says, dropping her hand from Cady’s face only to twine their fingers together. Cady’s not exactly complaining. 

Regina leads her to the bathroom, which still empties soon after she enters. She may not be head bitch anymore, but she’s still the undisputed queen of North Shore. She’s just a little nicer. Emphasis on a little .

Regina walks them over to the counter, wrapping her arms around Cady’s waist and popping her up on top of it. 

     Cady is genuinely dizzy from the attention, from the gentleness, from Regina’s hands on her. If Regina were to let her go, she’d definitely swoon and probably fall right off the counter and break her head open. She tells herself that’s why Regina hangs on, because she must know that Cady needs the support. Definitely not for any other reason. 

     Regina pulls a makeup wipe out of her bag and gestures to Cady’s face.

     Cady nods and leans forward, eager for Regina to touch her however she’d like. 

     Regina gently wipes at the mark, but it’s slow to come off. 

     “What is this?” Regina asks, skimming her thumb over the mark again. It takes a minute for Cady to register that she’s been asked a question, because Regina’s wearing a lot of smoked-out eyeliner today and Cady is absolutely mesmerized, but once she realizes, she turns her head. 

     “Oh my gosh,” she says, looking at the giant gray mark on her face and trying to figure out what it could be. A wave of embarrassment washes over her when she realizes. “Oh. It’s, um. It’s charcoal, probably. We were sketching with charcoal pencils in my drawing class.”

     “You’re in a drawing class?” Regina asks, gently wiping at the mark. 

     “Mmh,” Cady hums, distracted by Regina being so close. Her face is just inches away, and she’s unfairly cute when she’s focused on something, her tongue peeking out between her perfect lips. “I had first period open, and Janis is the TA, so I just decided to try it. There’s only like ten people in it. It’s pretty chill.”

     “Cool,” Regina says, still focused on Cady’s face. “Are you any good?”

     “I suck,” Cady confesses, and Regina laughs. 

     “I’m sure you’re not that bad.”

     “No, I am. I’ll show you,” Cady says, fishing in her bag for the crumpled up drawing at the bottom. She pulls it out and lays it on the counter, smoothing her hands over it to unwrinkle it. “See?”

     “I see how you got it all over your face,” Regina says, pointing to a big smudge in the corner. “I think that’s where your mouth was.”

     Cady looks at the sketch a little closer, realizing that yes, that little gap is in fact where her mouth was. There’s a vaguely lip-shaped outline against the bird’s belly. 

     “Oh yeah,” Cady says, running a finger over the paper. More of the charcoal comes off on her hands. 

     “Oh my gosh, stop touching it,” Regina laughs, neatly folding the drawing in half and tucking it aside. “I’m going to be cleaning you up all period if you’re not careful.”

     “I don’t mind,” Cady says, and Regina smiles.

     “Well, what if I mind? I could be missing something important right now.”

     “Class hasn’t even started,” Cady says… right as the late bell rings. 

     Regina laughs loudly, and Cady smiles, her face feeling so hot. 

     “You were saying?” Regina teases, wiping her face again. 

     “I’m sorry. I can take care of the rest—”

     “I got it,” Regina says, her thumb skimming Cady’s chin as she wipes the mark again. 

     “I thought you minded.”

     “Well, as usual, you were wrong,” Regina says, her tongue tucked between her teeth as she smiles at Cady. 

     Cady swallows a sigh. Cute Regina is, perhaps, the most heart-stealing of them all. 

     “I never mind when it’s for you,” Regina says, her tone softer. She doesn’t meet Cady’s eyes, choosing instead to hyper-focus on the mark again. 

     “Yeah?” Cady asks, soft and a little surprised. 

     “Duh, Loser,” Regina says, looking at Cady like she’s stupid. She isn’t and they both know it, but it’s fun to pretend. “I would do pretty much anything for you. Feel like I’ve been making that painfully obvious.”

     “You have?” Cady asks, and okay, maybe Cady is a little stupid. 

     “Yes,” Regina says with a huff. “I’m—it’s getting a little embarrassing, honestly. I’m a little… obsessed with you, if you haven’t noticed.”

     “I haven’t.”

     “Yeah, I’m realizing that now,” Regina says with a frustrated smile. “You really haven’t noticed?”

     Cady shakes her head. 

     Regina bites her lip, clearly a little disappointed, and Cady can’t handle Regina being sad, so she grabs her hand. 

     “It’s not you. I’m just… completely oblivious. To a lot of things. Plus, you—when I’m around you, my brain gets, like… stupid. Totally mushy. I’m like, completely useless.”

     “You’re not useless,” Regina says sincerely, patting Cady’s leg. “Just oblivious.”

     Cady laughs. 

     The silence turns awkward after a few seconds, and Regina sighs. 

     “Do you remember the last time we were in this bathroom together?”

     “Of course,” Cady says. How could she forget it? “Do you? You were a little out of it.”

     Regina laughs. “‘A little’ is generous. I was high as hell.”

     Now Cady laughs, trying not to get too caught up in the way Regina smiles when she does.

     “Do you remember what I said to you?” 

     “That your mom was gonna name you Reginald?” 

     Regina laughs. “No, not that.”

     “Oh, uh… you told me that you liked me. But you also told me your medicine made you like everybody.”

     “Almost everybody,” Regina corrects. “I thought it made me like everybody until I saw Aaron kiss you. Then I realized that I was still capable of extreme jealousy and murderous rage, even after a perc.”

     Cady tries to laugh, but it falls a little flat. 

     Regina stares at her like she’s got a secret.

     Cady stares blankly back. 

     Regina sighs. She lays both her palms on Cady’s legs, looking her dead in the eye. 

     “I’m gonna state the obvious here, okay? And you just—if this ruins our friendship, then I’m really sorry.”

     Cady’s stomach drops, but she nods. 

     “I like you. In a very gay way. And I’ve been trying to ignore it since the second I laid eyes on you in that stupid lunchroom, but I have been horribly unsuccessful. I was down so bad for you that I stole your boyfriend, willfully ignored your attempts to sabotage me, and then got so distracted by how pissed I was at you for making me like you even though you were actively trying to ruin my life that I walked directly in front of a bus. So… I know this is kind of a shitty thing to do, especially because you’re straight with a boyfriend, but I needed to tell you how I was feeling. I’m trying this new thing where I don’t keep things locked up so tight that the entire school ecosystem implodes and I get hit by a bus.”

     “Probably a good plan,” Cady says quietly. She’s still processing, still doesn’t know what to say, so she just… blurts out the first thing she can think of. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.”

     “But you don’t like girls,” Regina says with a sigh, like she expected this answer. “I know, and I’m really sor—“

     “I’m bisexual,” Cady says, trying the word out for the first time. She needs Regina to know that her feelings aren’t one-sided. “Or, at least, I think I am. I like boys, and I—um. I like you. Like, a lot. Like, so much that I was freaking out about it last hour, and I put my face on my drawing while Janis tried to help me sort my feelings out, and I got charcoal everywhere. So… I don’t know what to do, exactly, because this is all like—yeah. All I know is that I really like you.”

     Regina’s face is terrifyingly blank for a few long seconds before her lower lip starts to quiver. 

     Cady’s surprised, but she knows what to do. She hops off the counter and wraps Regina in her arms, squeezing tight.

     Regina sniffles, but then she’s hugging Cady right back. 

     “This is so not fair,” Regina says after a minute, or maybe two. 

     “What?”

     “You like girls—you like me —and I still don’t have a chance? That’s just cruel, Cady.”

     “Why don’t you have a chance?” Cady asks, an adorable crinkle appearing in her forehead as she pulls back to look Regina in the eye. 

     Regina looks equally as confused. 

     “You have a boyfriend,” Regina says, and oh shit, yeah. She does. She keeps forgetting! She needs to, like, write it on her hand or something. Somehow, she thinks she may forget anyway if she’s looking at Regina.

     “Right,” Cady says after a long pause. “Yeah, uh. Yeah, I guess I do. I’m sorry.”

     Regina laughs, sniffling when she does. 

     “We’ve got to get you to stop apologizing so much, Cady. God. You don’t have to apologize for existing,” she says, tucking an errant lock of hair behind Cady’s ear before she can think better of it. “And I’m really sorry if I ever made you feel like you did.”

     Cady shakes her head, shooting Regina a little smile. 

     “You can’t take credit for this one, actually. I was a chronic apologizer long before I met you.”

     Regina hums, tucking that same lock of hair behind Cady’s ear again. 

     Cady leans into her hand.

     Regina sighs, then steps away. 

     “Okay, no need to keep torturing myself. Getting hit by the bus was bad enough.”

     “I’m s—”

     “You better not be fucking apologizing again, or I swear to God—”

     “I’m not,” Cady says, even though she totally was. “I was just saying that I’m so glad you’re okay. Only you could get pancaked by a bus and come out of recovery hotter than ever.”

     “Thanks,” Regina says, eyes narrowed like she doesn’t totally believe Cady. She takes another step back, and Cady makes a conscious effort to not reach for her. 

     It’s hard. 

     “So, are we—we’re still friends, right?”

     “Totally!” Cady says, nodding her head a little too eagerly. “If we managed to get through the whole bus thing, we can get through a little… mutual lesbianism.”

     “You’re so weird,” Regina says, but she’s laughing. “I should probably get to calc so that I’m not totally lost for our test Friday. I’ll see you at lunch?”

     Cady nods. She doesn’t want Regina to go, but she also needs to have some time alone to just… sit with everything she’s learned this morning.

     This is a lot to deal with before 9am. 

     “Wait,” Regina says, stepping back into Cady’s space and lifting a hand to cup her cheek. Cady thinks Regina’s going to kiss her—wants Regina to kiss her, boyfriend and all—so she feels extra stupid when Regina lifts the wipe to her face and rubs it along her cheek. “There you go. Your face is now officially charcoal free.”

     “Thanks,” Cady says as Regina steps away, lifting a hand to her face where Regina’s just was. “I’ll, um—I’ll see you at lunch.”

———

     Something green and horrible flares in Cady’s chest when she sees Regina at lunch, perched on Shane’s lap. Her head is tilted back on his shoulder as he whispers something in her ear, making her laugh. 

     She sets her tray down on the table with a loud smack , drawing the attention of all her friends. 

     “You good, Caddy?” Janis asks, cocking an eyebrow. 

     “Fine,” Cady says, her voice a little breathy, her smile mostly fake. “Yeah, good. Are you good?”

     “I’m great,” Janis says. 

     “Good,” Cady says, her smile a little more real this time. 

     She’s quiet for most of lunch, trying hard to focus on anything but Regina, who stays cuddled up with Shane. Isn’t Regina a whole-ass lesbian? And isn’t she into Cady? What the fuck is she doing throwing herself at Shane?

     Shane whispers something to Regina a few minutes before lunch ends. Regina nods, so Shane sets Regina on her feet before he finds his own. Cady takes about half of a relieved breath about the distance between them before Shane wraps an arm around Regina and she leans on him. 

     “We’ll see you guys later,” Shane says, wiggling his fingers in a wave just like Damian always does. 

     Everyone says their goodbyes, apart from Cady, whose head is still spinning from the events of the day. 

     “Bye, Cady,” Regina says with a nervous smile. Cady can tell she’s biting the inside of her cheek. 

     “Bye, Reggie. I’ll see you later,” Cady says softly, hoping to set Regina’s worries at ease. 

     “Oh my gosh, just kiss already,” Damian says after Regina’s out of earshot. 

     Cady glares at him, and Damian lifts his hands up in surrender.

     “Sorry, Caddy girl. I forgot to complete my hetero sensitivity training. Note: straight girls do not like to be told to “kiss already,” even by fabulous gay men who don’t mean it in a gross fetishy way.”

     “Lesbians don’t like that shit either,” Janis says, and Gretchen nods. 

     “I am pansexual, and I am also okay with it,” Karen says, shooting Damian a warm smile. 

     Damian holds out a hand, and Karen happily squeezes it. 

     “Wait, Karen, you’re pan?”

     Karen nods her head excitedly. 

     “What’s, um. What’s that?”

     “It means I like everybody! Or at least, I can like everybody. I don’t care what you are, I just care if you’re nice to me. And hot. And if you’re a good driver, because I got my license taken away again. You know, the important things!” Karen says, and it sounds like a joke, but even clueless Cady can tell she’s being entirely sincere. “Mostly, I just like Gretchen.”

     Gretchen’s face goes super red, but she nods.

     Karen kisses her cheek. 

     “Is everyone gay?” Cady scoffs, turning to Janis. 

     “Okay, attitude,” Damian says, so Cady backpedals. 

     “Not, like—I don’t mean it in a bad way! I just—I think I’m bi, okay?”

     Cady’s friends just look at her, their expressions unchanging. 

     “Guys?”

     “I am so shocked,” Damian says, covering his hand with his mouth.

     “Wait, why?” Karen asks, shoving a french fry in her mouth. “I thought we all knew Cady liked Gigi.”

     “Karen,” Gretchen says, squeezing Karen’s thigh. “It’s not polite to tell people you know that they’re gay when they come out.”

     “Oh. Sorry, Cady,” Karen says, holding a hand out for Cady to squeeze. 

     Cady takes it and holds it tight. 

     “It’s okay, Kare. I’m just—how did you guys know? Did you tell them?” Cady asks, turning to Janis. “I know I didn’t say to keep it a secret, but—”

     “Wait, Cady told you she was bi and you didn’t tell me?” Damian asks, looking actually shocked this time. 

     “She just told me this morning! And even then, it wasn’t—we were feeling very unlabelled. The bi thing is a shock to me too,” Janis says, blowing out a deep breath as she turns to face Cady fully. “Caddy, this is a lot for one day. You good?”

     “No!” Cady says, crossing her arms and huffing like an angry toddler. “I—ugh. I’m not good, Janis.”

     “And that’s okay,” Gretchen says, laying a gentle hand on Cady’s arm. “Coming out is a big step, and I’m sorry that we didn’t react how we should’ve. I think we were all a little caught off guard, but that’s no excuse. You deserve—”

     “No, it’s not—you guys are fine. It’s—why was Regina all over Shane? Isn’t she, like, super gay? So why does she treat him like he’s her boyfriend?”

     “Oh, Caddy,” Janis says with a long sigh. “Poor, jealous Caddy.”

     “Regina doesn’t like Shane like that,” Gretchen assures her, squeezing her arm. “She’s just—her back is really bothering her. She came into calc late, and she had definitely been crying, but you know Regina. She’s still too stubborn to ask for help. Shane has this way of helping anyway. He’s been carrying her books for her all day, making sure she leaves a little early to avoid the crowd of people bumping into each other in the halls, running to the kitchen to heat up her hot pack, that sort of thing . The only reason she was on his lap was so she could lean on him and give her back a rest.”

     “Oh,” Cady says, her voice quiet. She thunks her head into her hands. “So I’m just a horrible person, then.”

     “You’re not horrible,” Karen assures her, laying her hand on Cady’s arm over Gretchen’s. “You’re just jealous. And bisexual. And pretty! And that’s great.”

     “Thanks, Kare Bear,” Cady says, blowing out a big sigh. She buries her head in her hands and screams. When she looks up, she realizes that maybe her scream wasn’t as muffled as she thought, because every person in a three table radius is staring at her. 

     “Stubbed toe,” Cady announces, as if anyone will believe that. When the cafeteria noise returns to normal, Damian shoots her a look. 

     “Is something else going on with you?” he asks, eating the last bite of his pizza. 

     Cady glances around at her friends. 

     “It’s been a crazy morning.”

———

     “Can I ask you something?” 

     Regina turns around, expecting to see Cady there, but she’s nowhere to be found. She jumps when she shuts her locker and Cady’s right there behind the door looking up at her. 

     “Jeez, Cady, warn a girl next time,” Regina says, trying to soothe her aching back with her hand. It’s not working, but there’s not a whole lot she can do. At least it’s Friday. Just one 40 minute study period standing between her and her bed and maybe some prescription drugs. 

     “Sorry,” Cady says, and Regina immediately feels bad for snapping. 

     “It’s not your fault,” Regina says, still rubbing her sore back. “I’m just—I just want to go home.”

     “Do you wanna go now?” Cady asks, her eyes flicking towards the door. 

     “And risk truancy?” Regina says with a gasp. 

     Cady rolls her eyes. 

     “If your back hurts, you should go home.”

     “My back always hurts,” Regina says, no bite in her bark. She just sounds tired, and maybe a little sad. Things have been weird between Cady and Regina since their impromptu bathroom conversation on Monday, but Cady’s hoping that their conversation today will fix it. Well, if Regina’s willing to have a conversation. “Plus, I don’t have my car. I’m not cleared to drive yet.”

     “I’ll drive you,” Cady says, tugging her backpack straps up higher on her shoulders.

     “I can tough it out,” Regina insists. Cady stares at her, worrying her lip between her teeth. “What? Spit it out.”

     “I broke up with Aaron. On Wednesday.”

     Regina freezes. 

     “Wednesday?”

     “Yeah. I wanted to do it Monday, but he couldn’t find time for me to come visit until then. Wasn’t much of a visit. Doesn’t take that long to say hey, this has been fun, but I’ve just realized that I’m in love with your ex-girlfriend, so I gotta bounce. ”

     “Did you actually say that?” Regina asks, a little impressed. Then it hits her. “Wait, in love?”

     Cady’s smile drops. “Shit, that—I wasn’t supposed to say that part out loud.”

     “You do that a lot,” Regina says, and Cady nods. 

     “Yeah. I’m really good at saying the wrong thing.”

     “Not the wrong thing,” Regina says, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “Take me home?”

     Cady nods. 

     They don’t talk much as they walk to the car. Cady hands Regina the aux, but Regina’s phone doesn’t have an aux port, so Regina hands the aux back. Cady, ever the problem solver, unlocks her phone, plugs it in, and hands it to Regina. Regina opens Cady’s spotify and clicks on a playlist simply titled Regina.

     “Did you make this playlist for me?”

     Cady shakes her head. 

     “Gretchen did. She said these were your most played on your spotify tapped.”

     “Wrapped,” Regina corrects before she thinks about the fact that it doesn’t really matter. “Why did Gretchen make it?”

     “She made one for all of you. I have ones for her and Karen too. She said she did it to help me get to know you guys better.”

     “That’s really sweet, actually,” Regina says, touched by the gesture. God, she’s never going to deserve her friends. 

     “Yeah,” Cady says. She glances very briefly at Regina before her eyes cut back to the road. A tiny grin finds Regina’s face when she notices Cady’s hands locked in at 10 and 2. There’s something so Cady Heron about taking road safety so seriously. 

     It’s really fucking cute. 

     “I listen to yours the most,” Cady reveals, her eyes glued to the road this time. 

     “How come?” Regina asks.

     Cady shrugs. 

———

     “Thanks for the ride,” Regina says once they pull up in front of her house. “You coming in?”

     Cady nods, quickly exiting the car and running around to Regina’s side. She grabs Regina’s backpack out of the backseat and slides it over her shoulders before opening Regina’s door. 

     “Thanks,” Regina says, eyes narrowing in suspicion. 

     “You’re welcome!” Cady says, shooting her a nervous smile. 

     Mrs. George is thrilled to see Cady, and she makes a big show of welcoming her back. Cady is as sweet as ever, apologizing for not being around as much and graciously accepting an invitation to stay for dinner. 

     Regina winces as she leads Cady up the stairs to her room, and Cady tries not to notice, because she thinks that’s what Regina wants. 

     Gina sighs once they finally make it to her room, collapsing onto her bed. Her breath hitches at the pain initially, but then her face smooths out and she settles. 

     “Is there anything I can do to help?” Cady asks, wringing her hands as she stands at the foot of the bed. 

     “Nah,” Regina says, letting her eyes slip shut. Even though Cady’s not making any sound, Regina would swear she could hear her nervous fidgeting. “You can come lay down, if you want. Or sit, if you’re more comfortable. I won’t be standing for a while.”

     Cady doesn’t say anything, but Regina feels the bed dip ever so slightly next to her. She turns her head towards Cady, but it’s a good thirty seconds before she opens her eyes. Cady’s already staring at her, all wide blue eyes and upturned top lip and the cutest, roundest cheeks Regina’s ever fucking seen. 

     “What did you want to ask me?”

     “I wanted to ask if, um. I wanted to ask if you’d like to go out with me. Like, on a date. Because I kind of like you a whole lot—”

     “Love me, even,” Regina teases, and Cady flushes bright red, rolling her eyes. 

     “Yeah, whatever,” Cady says, her fingers tingling with nerves. “You’re very lovable, so it’s not really my fault.”

     “Actually, it is your fault, and I think you should apologize,” Regina says, and Cady rolls her eyes again. Regina’s grin becomes so wide that she can’t help but scrunch her nose, and Cady sighs. 

     “No.”

     “No?”

     “No, because you’re very lovable, and you’re very pretty, and I’m very gay, and so this is entirely your fault, actually. How was I supposed to not fall in love with you?” Cady asks. 

     “Do you actually think you’re in love with me?” Regina asks, her eyes darting between Cady’s eyes and her mouth. 

     “I think so,” Cady says, shrugging. “I mean—I’ve never been in love before. Aaron was the first person to ever show an interest in me, and I always liked him, but he never…”

     “Never what?” Regina pushes, because she’s a nosy bitch and she wants to know. 

     “He never made me feel like I was going insane,” Cady confesses, and Regina snorts out a laugh. (It’s an objectively ugly sound, probably, but Cady finds it positively enchanting.)

     “And that’s a good thing?” Regina asks, a crooked smile on her lips. 

     “Mmh,” Cady hums, scooting a tiny bit closer. She reaches for Regina’s hand, then tries not to freak out when Regina twines their fingers together. “After we talked on Monday, I started to think about last year. About all the times I thought I was so obsessed with Aaron, but really, I was just totally obsessed with you. Janis used to make fun of me for talking about you so much, but I couldn’t stop. It was like I was possessed, or something. I thought it was because I wanted Aaron, but… well. Turns out it wasn’t Aaron I was crazy about.”

     “You actually like me?” Regina asks, her voice small, unsure. “Even after last year?”

     “Duh,” Cady says, shooting Regina a goofy grin. 

     Regina’s eyes narrow.

     “Is that really so hard to believe? You like me,” Cady counters, cocking her head to the side, because Regina liking her is far more unbelievable than her liking Regina. “Pretty sure I outbitched you in the bitchlympics last year. I’m literally the reason you got hit by a bus.”

     “Stop saying that,” Regina says, squeezing Cady’s hand. “You were just—”

     Regina’s cut off by her back seizing up, and Cady rolls up off the bed in an instant. 

     “What do you need?” Cady asks. Regina points to a tub of something on her vanity, and Cady retrieves it immediately. When she tries to hand it to Regina, Regina waves her off. 

     “I need you to put it on my back,” she says through gritted teeth.

     Cady nods, opening the tub as she runs around to the other side of the bed. Regina’s shirt has already ridden up a couple of inches, but Cady hesitates before pushing it up further. 

     “Can I—”

     “Just fucking do it,” Regina says, and that’s all Cady needs. She pushes Regina’s shirt up her back and past her bra. 

     “Where?” Cady asks. 

     “Start low. Then just… up,” Regina says, her shoulders becoming even more rigid. 

     Cady sticks her hand in the tub and scoops some of the green gel out, dropping a glop of it directly on Regina’s back. She spreads the gel in a line along Regina’s spine until she reaches her bra.

     “All the way up,” Regina says, her voice so tight. 

     “What should I do about your bra? I don’t want to ruin it. It’s cute,” Cady says, a teeny frown on her face. 

     “Just take it off, God,” Regina barks. 

     Cady does as she’s told, unclipping Regina’s bra and pushing it out of the way. She tugs Regina’s shirt as far as it can go up her neck, spreading the rest of the gel along her spine. 

     Her hands drift back down Regina’s body. She uses her fingers to gently distribute the gel around Regina’s low back. 

     “Press harder,” Regina begs.

     “I don’t want to hurt you,” Cady says, but she increases the pressure of her fingers. 

     “You won’t,” Regina says, her tone softer now. 

     Cady spends the next few minutes rubbing the gel in all over Regina’s back, relieved when Regina’s cramping muscles finally start to relax. 

     “Any better?” Cady asks, still working the gel into Regina’s skin in gentle circles. Her hands have gone a bit tingly, but she doesn’t mind. 

     “Mmh,” Regina hums, turning her head to face Cady. “Thank you.”

     “No problem. Is there anything else I can do?”

     “Keep rubbing? Just for a couple more minutes,” Regina says, as if Cady would ever refuse. “It feels really good.” 

     “I’ll do it all night,” Cady offers, her tone so sincere.

     “Do what all night?” June asks, strutting into Regina’s room without knocking.

     “Mom,” Regina groans. 

     Cady jumps up off the bed, looking all kinds of guilty. 

     “Mrs. George, hi!” She says, nervously fluttering her hands around. “I, um—it’s not—we’re not—I was just helping Regina put her… stuff on.”

     “Looks like you were helping her take her clothes off, too.”

     “Mom!” Regina snaps, her tone as close to the old Regina as it ever gets. 

     “Oh, Regina, don’t be embarrassed! I love my lesbian daughter. I don’t mind what she and her “best friend” do behind closed doors. I’m an ally!”

     “Oh, my gosh. Get out. Please,” Regina says, her teeth gritted again, but not from pain. 

     “Alright, alright. I was just coming up to see if you girls needed anything, but—”

     “We’re good. Now leave. Please,” Regina says, and even though her face is pressed into the bed, Cady can tell she’s glaring. 

     June rolls her eyes and shares a surprisingly human smile with Cady. 

     “Dinner will be ready around six.”

     “Okay. Thank you,” Cady says, sending June a little smile back. 

     June winks as she shuts the door behind her. 

     “Do you want me to keep rubbing your back?” Cady asks, gingerly sitting next to Regina on the bed. 

     “No, it’s okay. The gel’s started drying down now, I can feel it.”

     “I’m sorry,” Cady says, and Regina wants to scream, but she holds her tongue. “Can I do anything else?”

     “Get me the orange bottle with the big T on the cap? I’m gonna take them all at once to escape the embarrassment of my mother once and for all.”

     “Not a funny joke,” Cady says, but she’s biting back a smile. 

     “I’m totally serious,” Regina deadpans.

     Cady rolls her eyes. “How many do you actually want?”

     “Just one,” Regina says, her voice softening. “The gel is helping, but it won’t last for long. There’s a water bottle on my nightstand.”

     Cady presents the water and the pill to Regina, who lifts her head high enough to take it before she lays back down. She starts to roll over into a more comfortable position, but she’s quickly reminded that she’s practically topless when she feels the air on her chest. She tries to shimmy her tight shirt back down, but her back twinges, so she stops. 

     “Cady?” She asks. 

     Cady, who wandered over to intensely study some photos on Regina’s wall after she caught an unintentional glimpse of side-boob, wanders back. 

     “Yeah?” She answers, still not looking at Regina. 

     “Can you take my shirt off and grab me a new one?”

     Cady’s eyes go wide. “Sure. Do you, um. Is there any shirt in particular that you want?”

     “Something loose,” Regina says, and Cady nods. She grabs a shirt from Regina’s PJ drawer that’s so long it could be a dress and brings it back to the bed. She lays it in front of Regina, and Regina nods. “That’s a good one. Thank you, Cady.”

     “You’re welcome,” Cady says a little too politely. She drops the new shirt on the bed and hooks her hands under Regina’s shirt where it’s rucked up around her neck, resting her fingers against Regina’s bare back. “Can I take this off?”

     Regina laughs a little as she nods her head. 

     “What’s so funny?” Cady asks, gently pulling the shirt over Regina’s head. 

     “Not exactly how I imagined our first “can I take this off?” to go,” Regina says, wincing just a little as Cady gets the shirt stuck in her hair.

     “Sorry,” Cady murmurs, gently untangling it. It takes a few seconds for what Regina’s said to really hit her, but once it does, Cady’s face goes scarlet. “Wait, so you’ve… thought about it? About us… like that?”

     “Mmh. I’ve gotta have something to jerk off to,” Regina says, her tone far too sincere.

     “Regina!” 

     Regina laughs—like, proper belly laughs, so hard that it hurts, and Cady’s hands immediately come up to rub her back. 

     Regina sighs at the touch, wishing she could do nothing but melt under Cady Heron’s gentle hands for the rest of forever. 

     “I’ve thought about it too,” Cady confesses, her voice quiet. “Not like—not in a weird way, or anything. I just… sometimes I would look at you a little too long and just wonder. Does that make sense?”

     “Perfect sense,” Regina says, sinking further into the bed. It’s too soon for her muscle relaxer to be kicking in, but she already feels better than she has all day. She’s no doctor, but she’s pretty sure the temporary relief from crushing pain is solely due to the cute little nerd that’s touching her softly. “It used to happen to me all the time. And then Aaron would put his hands on you and ruin my fantasy, and I’d have to leave the room to avoid committing murder.”

     Cady laughs. 

     “That bad, huh?”

     “Horrible. Especially because I know how bad Aaron is with his hands. He’s a soccer player through and through.”

     “He was always a little… rough. I thought maybe it was just a man thing,” Cady says, dragging unbearably gentle fingers along Regina’s back. 

     “It kind of is,” Regina says, biting back a moan. There’s nothing rough about Cady Heron’s hands, that’s for sure. “You can train them to be softer, but it’s not… it’s not the same.”

     “Is that what happened with Shane? You trained him?”

     “He was a hamfisted little gremlin when we dated the first time, but I… domesticated him. I think the lesbianism coursing through my veins prevented me from ever really appreciating his touch, though.”

     Cady huffs out a laugh, her hands never pausing their motions on Regina’s back. 

     “I was so fucking jealous of him on Monday,” Cady confesses. “I know that you’re gay, and I still felt threatened by him. Even though I knew it was impossible for you to like him like that. Isn’t that insane?”

     “Thought you liked that I make you insane,” Regina teases, and Cady laughs again. 

     “I do. But it also kinda kills me sometimes. I’m hoping it’ll be better now. Well, if, um. If you say yes.”

     “Yes to what?” Regina asks, a little wrinkle appearing on her forehead. 

     “To going out with me? Only if you want. Totally no pressure.”

     “I mean, you’ve already got me topless and pinned to my bed. Did you really think I’d say no?” Regina teases, wondering if her loose tongue can be blamed on the muscle relaxer, or if this, too, is Cady Heron’s fault. 

     Cady laughs, bringing her hands up to her face to cover it. 

     “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

     “Oh, what a way to die,” Regina says, giggling, and okay, the drugs have definitely kicked in. 

     “Indeed,” Cady says, smiling and rolling her eyes. “Now, let’s get you dressed before your mom walks in again.”

     Regina groans, holding her hands up as straight as she can. Cady slides the shirt over her arms and then her head, pulling it down. Regina tugs it down the rest of the way as she rolls onto her back, meeting Cady’s eyes once she can. 

     “Can we have our first date right now?” Regina asks, gaze soft as she stares up at Cady.

     “Sure,” Cady says, because she’s been trying for the entire week to think of a first date that would be worthy of Regina George, and so far, she’s come up empty. Whatever Regina wants, Cady’s happy to give her. “Did you want to go somewhere?”

     Regina shakes her head. 

     “I was thinking we should get in bed and snuggle and you can hold my pathetic, aching body until I doze off. Does that sound totally boring and horrible?”

     A slow smile spreads across Cady’s face as she shakes her head. 

     “It sounds perfect, actually. Do you need help getting under the blankets?”

     Regina starts to shake her head, but then a look crosses her face, and she starts nodding instead. “Yeah, actually. Help me up?”

     Cady nods, reaching a hand out for Regina to grab. 

     As soon as she’s got her hand wrapped around Cady’s, Regina tugs hard, sending Cady toppling down on her. Cady catches herself before their bodies collide, but only just. They’re inches apart now, so close that Cady can feel Regina’s breath on her lips. 

     “Don’t you think you’re a little close to not be actively shoving your tongue down my throat right now?”

     “Sorry,” Cady says, smiling sheepishly. 

     “Shut up and kiss me, Loser.”