Chapter Text
Milan: I don’t mean to be rude—
Filip: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.
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Ilija, when Marko walks in: Oh, hey, I’m just making pizza.
Ilija: *accidentally smacks Milan in the face with the baking sheet*
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*The Squad is eating dinner*
Milan: Can you pass the salt?
Ilija: *throws Marko across the table*
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Milan, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?
Filip: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*
Filip:
Filip: It’s perfume.
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Marko: It’s time to turn this into a real business.
Milan: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes?
Filip: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?
Ilija: I handle our accounting.
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Ilija: Good morning!
Marko, checking his watch: Correct.
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Marko: I’m tired.
Milan: You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?!
Marko: I’m not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.
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Ilija: If I fall down these stairs, I’m just going to lay down and accept my fate.
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Milan: How the hell are you still alive?
Ilija: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.
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Filip: Where’s my chair?
Milan: Ilija broke it over Marko’s back while they were wrestling.
Marko: Correction, Ilija was wrestling. I was eating soup.
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Milan: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Ilija: That’s the most hopeful thing I’ve ever heard.
Filip: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Marko: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
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Milan: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-
Ilija: Eyy, homie!
Marko: But then there’s cootie...
Filip: Die.
[A/N - Bambie.]
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Milan: So what, now I’m just supposed to do everything that Ilija does? What if he jumps off a cliff?
Filip: If Ilija were to jump off a cliff, he would have done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Ilija jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Milan: You jump off a cliff.
Filip: Gladly, provided Ilija did first.
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Filip: It’s called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli.
Milan, eyes wide: I know what I saw.
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Marko: So what’s for dinner?
Ilija: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!
Marko: …
Marko: Is it soup?
Ilja: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*
Marko: Please, enough with the soup puns!
Ilija: Wow, you’re soup-per mean.
Marko: STOP!
*one hour later*
Marko: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!
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Filip: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.
Filip: And I started thinking.
Filip: Like, it was just trying to get food.
Filip: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?
Ilija: Are you ok?
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Milan: So what do you have planned for the future?
Marko: Lunch.
Milan: No, like long term.
Marko: Oh...um, dinner?
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Ilija: So, you’ve finally arrived-
Ilija: Here to save prince-
Ilija: I’ve been waiting for this day-
Ilija: Stop skipping my dialogue-
Ilija: Seriously, stop-
Ilija: MOTHER FU-
