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A blue haze paints the sky, not a single cloud was out and there were no celestial cracks to be found.
Wukongs head tilts up at the sky, sitting on the criffside on his mountain, things are slightly more peaceful than they were hours ago.. Weirdly He can still feel the cold phantom feeling of metal weighing on his head. tightly clicking into place like it was meant to be there, shrinking under one celestial spell absolutely engulfing him in pain.
His fur prickles up and he shakes his head, he'd rather not think of that.
Still despite not wanting to think about what happened, his brain only aids him in more worrying details. Why did mk sacrifice himself so easily? It was for the same reason that Wukong tried doing it himself in his place. If it wasn't for that damn spell wukong would've done it.
He shifts uncomfortably thinking about it.. If mk never came back what would..
"What are you doing moping around" a family yet irritating voice asks. Wukong turns and sees macaque.
"Oh and where have you been?" wukong crosses his arms and huffs. Macaque only rolls his eyes.
"It's Not your business, is it?"
That's right, it isn't his business, sure wukong was secretly glad macaque was on the mountain with him but truth be told they've barely scratched the surface when it comes to mending their old friendship.
There's a thick silence that follows them as macaque sits down beside wukong on the cliff, perhaps he's bored and has nothing better to do, wukong finds that amusing since if macaque was that bored he could probably just nap it away.
Although that's more a wukong thing to do..
Ugh, wukongs head is pounding. Underneath his skull it feels like a force to be reckoned with.
"How's your head?" macaque turns an eye towards the golden furred monkey next to him.
"It's.. Fine" wukong lies, right now it hurts, it's only been a couple of hours since that thing was off but it still feels like it's on his head, not to mention this headache is making him want to bury himself alive.
That could be arranged he thinks, he's done far worse to himself on his days of being on his journey.
"You're an idiot you know." here we go, just another argument brewing up. Wukong sighs in annoyance and gets up walking back towards the entrance of the cave. Macaque only follows.
"I saw what happened wukong or at least I heard it, You tried sacrificing yourself in the kids place."
"You would've done the same!" Wukong tried to argue.
"No, I would've tried to find another solution" macaque replies back with a scowl.
Wukong turns to face him, "there was no other way."
"So you were willing to give up your life?" macaque shouts
"Don't confront me about this! Talk to the kid instead, you should be more worried about him!"
"I did talk to him wukong! Now it's time to talk to you because that kinda thinking isn't normal!" His voice is getting louder and it echoes around the cave walls bouncing back to hear again and again. Or maybe it's his imagination.
Wukong would rather not argue out in the open again. He isn't ignoring him but.. He doesn't exactly want to confront these feelings. He walks up the steps heading to his abode and macaque is just following him. why? Why does he care so much about what wukong does? He shouldn't care at all! Not after what he did.
"I don't wanna talk about it" wukong states clearly and simply. "Not right now at least." he enters his home. Macaque follows.
He supposed he could care less if macaque is following him around, he doesn't mind as long as he doesn't ask anymore questions or confront him about things. The great sages eyes land on origami paper statues, one seemed to have fallen over.
He absentmindedly picks it up. It's red, human shaped, tang. He places it down carefully.
His mind thinks about the circlet. He knows he should be over it by now, he deserved it anyways for his sins but that was back then, this is now, li Jing had no right to put that on him, to make him go through that horrid pain just to subdue him, his merciful master would've never done that! If wukong had done something wrong the monk would've scolded him lightly and explained why what he did was wrong.
But no. The celestial didn't do that, not even that but Wukong and the others didn't even commit the crime they were convicted of! It was azure lion! He killed the jade emperor, not them! He almost destroyed the universe, not them! He wasn't a bad monkey, he wasn't.
Did the celestials distrust him that much? Did they really see the first sign of chaos and pointed fingers towards him? Even after the journey was completed and he'd reached enlightenment did they really still see him as a threat? And what about mk? What about the others? They're only mortals; he can't lose them; they're the closest things to friends that he's had in so long.
Why is he breathing all funny? There's no danger here. God's, his head is killing him, is it actually? Is it really killing him? It's funny because right now he can't determine whether this feeling is real or not. He lays down on his couch, it'll go away eventually, it has too.
"Wukong"
'Focus' he thinks to himself 'your name has been cleared and your sins were forgiven a long time ago, you didn't commit any crimes it wasn't you you've been good'.
"Wukong?"
What's wrong with him? His heart rate spiked and everything seemed louder.
He hears somebody take a step closer to him and he sits up quickly, startled. His breathing is shallow. He reaches to his head and he's trying to pry something off as he gets up and walks to the other side of the room. He's pulling his hair out, he's gripping the sides of his head like that thing is still there.
"Wukong!"
'You cannot escape me'
'Bad monkey'
'Monkey no violence'
They're all echoing in his mind and it's like he's back from before. They put it on tighter this time. He knows they did.
Macaque hears wukongs breathing get weird, which is strange to say the least, wukong isn't the type to have respiratory problems, perhaps old age is getting to him. he could laughter about that if it wasn't for the fact he was so eerily quiet, until he wasn't.
Wukong was staring into space looking at those little paper statues he has, it looks like he tried sleeping or something but as always he has to just move around so much.
He doesn't really worry but the guy wasn't answering his name and slowly wukong was on the floor. He's clawing at his head again like last time, he's shouting now, something along the lines of "get it off" and "I didn't do anything wrong". Macaque is startled to say the least.
"Wukong!"
He tries calling him another time but he isn't listening, it's like he's in some weird trance. Whatever this was he had to calm him down, he might now be friends with the guy but he can't just leave him like this.
Against his better judgment, he initiated contact, grabbing wukongs shoulder and propping him up against the wall so he can breathe normally.
"Wukong, breathe" he attempted to help ground him, because maybe reminding him that things are fine even when they aren't will help.
"I cant-'' he's stuttering "I didn't do anything", macaques gripin wukongs shoulders stay firm. Wukong repeatedly is reaching out and touching macaques arm, he's shaking and he's panicked.
His heartbeat is roaring in his ears and he hears ringing. Everything is closing in. It feels so suffocating like the world is ending and he can't seem to catch his breath.
"Wukong, where are we?" It's a simple question , but a simple answer can maybe de-escalate things.
"Where are we?" he asks again but he decides to be a bit softer in tone.
Wukongs breathing is slowing down, his voice is still shaky in his reply, "we're home"
"That's right." macaque keeps him occupied, his body is still shaking and twitching, even when he's trying to relax it seems like he's constantly thinking he's in danger.
"They aren't here, you're on flower fruit mountain" macaque supplies him with more information to calm him, "with me and the other monkeys" he adds just in case.
Wukong is holding onto macaque's hand, not tightly but his grip is noticeable, it's like if he lets go he'll lose him forever.
This had happened before, wukong has had moments where sometimes he gets flashbacks to things from the past that he feels he shouldn't be bothered by anymore, despite that kind of thinking he is bothered by it, so greatly to the point where he thinks he's back reliving those memories. He doesn't know why he does this, he remembered the blue guy talking to him about something similar but he cant remember the name of it..
Macaque on the other hand doesn't know what's going on nor does he know that it's happened before, he finds it all a bit strange because never once had wukong reacted this way to memories in his youth, but either way he'll be here to help if he can.
Wukongs breathing is calmer, he's still shaking but he isn't trying to claw out his skull anymore. Wukong shifts for a moment and leans against his knees, almost hugging himself.
“I'm sorry" he whispers almost, macaque can't say ‘I forgive you’ because what was there to forgive? It wasn't wukongs fault that he just broke down was it? Macaque just moves his hand slightly and wukongs grip on his hand subsides.
“What's up with you?” macaque asks, it's a genuine question and wukong can tell by his tone, and the idiot knows if he looks at him he'll have that look he always gets on his face when he's worried.
“I don't know..” wukong answers truthfully, his tail flicks back and forth in a quick, unstable motion, “I guess I.. Got scared or something”
“Being scared doesn't do that to you” macaque replied. Wukong wipes his moist eyes and sniffs.
“I don't wanna talk about it, not right now” Wukong states, just as he did earlier. Macaque reaches a hand out towards wukongs head but halts, he's silently waiting for wukongs permission. Sun Wukong grants it, leaning slightly towards him.
Macaque's deathly cold fingers reach his temples, he works by using his thumbs to perform slow and controlled circular motion. Starting with gentle pressure and gradually increasing. As he uses his fingertips to gently rub the scalp in circular motions, Wukong feels the pain dull, and it's helping him relax, sure his head is sore but the blood flow is helping.
When was the last time they were like this? Probably in their youth at some point, Wukong and him would help each other with their wounds after a spar. After a couple of minutes of this, macaque stopped, now that he's done what he can't to help he places his barriers back up.
“How does it feel now?” he asks
“Better” wukong replied
He thinks what wukong needs now is some space, he can supply him with that endlessly so he stands up and stretches, joints popping as he did.
“You know where to find me if you need me.” In a quick second he disappeared into the shadows. Wukong is alone, but in all honesty he doesn't wanna be alone, but he can't force macaque to stay so he won't. Macaque has his boundaries and so does he.
Wukong rubs his temples, the headache is duller than before and isn't much of a problem than it used to be. He's mourning the loss of macaque's presence but he can't think too much about that now. macaque has boundaries, so if he doesn't wanna be around anymore than wukong isn't going to force him to stay.
His eyes glance back at paper statues,perhaps he can sit here on the floor just a little longer, Get his head straight. He thinks back on the conversation from before..
What did he mean by “that way of thinking isn't normal"? Oh well.. He can ask about it later, and maybe he should visit the blue thing again, it would be helpful to understand what he's going through and that guy seems to have a lot of experience.
He can ask him another day, maybe today he can just relax as much as he's able to.