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In his personal opinion, Bruce was a dick.
After all, it was that asshole's fault Jason was even in this position despite Jason stating several times very pointedly that he was the worst option for this job.
Literally any of them would've been a significantly better choice than himself.
Dick would be the optimal choice, for obvious reasons.
Tim could do it too. Though the replacement would likely have to put in a little more effort than dickface.
Hell even the bat-brat could be doing this! Literally anybody but him.
Sitting at the barstool, Jason sat his head in his hand and huffed.
This was not how he wanted to spend his Friday night. He would much rather be at his safe house on his couch with a nice carbonara and some wine reading Jane Austin. It didn't even have to be good wine!
No, instead of being at home and actually enjoying existing, Bruce sent him to go play handsome in some club just so they could get dirt on some scumbag he was too unbothered to learn the name of.
Apparently the douche was working with this one guy who worked with that guy who knew that guy's cousin who worked for Black Mask.
Jason wasn't really sure, he had kinda just nodded his head along with Bruce's moving mouth.
So here he was in all his grand glory. A halfway buttoned up shirt, some nice slacks he stole from Bruce, and a sleazy hairdo because for some strange reason all the jerks in the world have the same hairstyle.
The club was fairly packed, lots of folks partying for the weekend.
He'd long since cased out his guy and had been enjoying a glass of whiskey as the guy talked loosely for Jason's planted bug to hear.
Nodding along softly to the beat of some song he didn't recognize, Jason stood deciding now was a good time to dip.
He'd completed the mission for the most part so good enough in his books.
Jason downed the rest of the whiskey and abandoned his barstool in favor of the door. Cutting through the crowd he narrowly avoided women, and some men, throwing themselves at him.
Many were just looking for a good Friday night, he didn't fault them for that, although he wasn't what they wanted in a good Friday night.
He spotted the bouncer refusing entry to some woman throwing a fit and resisted the urge to laugh at her childish behavior.
Was it really that big of a deal?
He shook his head and exited, giving a nod to the bouncer.
The night air hit his face and he sucked in a breath of it, exhaling deeply. Like he was expelling the smoke of a cigarette. The whiskey-burn was more apparent with the air hitting the back of his throat.
The cool air of Gotham eased his annoyance at having to spend his night in a dingy club and he felt good enough to decide to take a bit of a walk instead of heading directly home.
So much for all that talk of carbonara…
Gotham was pretty at night, Jason liked to think it was because of some magical beauty that made the city so nice to look at in the night.
Though it was probably because Jason was one with the night and that made it more pretty to him.
He'd gotten maybe a block or two down on his stroll before he heard yelling.
A quick debate between leaving and checking it out was lost as the telltale scream of a young woman was heard.
Jason sighed and rounded the street corner to see… not whatever that was.
Honestly he was impressed.
The scene before him was highly amusing. Two women stood on the sidewalk, one was bent over laughing and the other was half bent over throwing up on the street curb. And on the ground lay some guy in black, probably a mugger.
From what Jason could tell, the guy was knocked out cold which means someone had to have knocked him out. The implication that it was one of the two girls made it even more amusing.
He approached casually as not to freak them out with some big guy appearing out of nowhere.
Jason gave a relaxed smile in hopes of setting the two women at ease, “Hey, couldn't help but hear a scream and wanted to make sure everyone was okay but it seems you ladies already solved that problem?”
The laughing one stopped and smiled, still giggling a bit, “Yeah, we got it don't worry! My girl Mari here got grabbed by the mugger and-”
“screamed?” Jason finished for the woman.
She shook her head and devolved into more giggles, “No! She- she got grabbed and decked him! And then she tripped over herself and screamed! Girl can't hold her liquor and can't walk but can deck a thug!”
The woman kept laughing and Jason found himself chuckling along with her, it was pretty funny.
The woman in question finally stood from the curb and groaned, “Alya please stop teasing, you know alcohol doesn't mix well with me and- oh. Hi?”
Jason took in the woman.
Black hair brushed her shoulders and long bangs were swept behind her ears and pinned with a hair pin, the woman's eyes were tired but an impressive shade of blueberry blue. She wore a sparkly silver cocktail dress with a pretty little silver choker and a pair of white kitten heels.
Clearly she had prepared to be clumsy with the kitten heels. She'd definitely been clubbing with her giggly friend.
She was very pretty in Jason's humble opinion.
And she could throw a mean punch apparently.
The woman glared at him, “Hello? Isn't it rude to stare?”
Jason snapped out of his head and smiled apologetically, “Sorry, got lost in your beauty.”
The woman nodded, “That's alright, I forgive you.”
Jason smirked as the other woman devolved into giggles.
These two were drunk off their asses.
Deciding to try his luck he pushed, “Do you two fine ladies have a way home or are you both trying to walk Gotham's streets at night?”
The clumsy woman frowned, “What's wrong with taking a midnight stroll?”
“Gotham.” Jason said, giving her a flat look.”
The blue eyed woman nodded sagely, “Good point.”
Jason internally sighed and externally smiled, “Well can I at least walk you two home or closer to home so I know you two made it safely? My name is Jason by the way.”
The giggling woman nodded, “Please do, Mari can hold her own but she can barely stand as it is!”
Mari, apparently, glared at the other woman.
“Alya what if this guy is evil!”
Jason snorted, “Doll if I wanted to do anything other than see you ladies home I would've done it already, Gotham rogues aren't exactly patient.”
The giggly one, Alya, snorted. Mari narrowed her eyes at him but put up no further protest.
Thus they started their walk back to the women's hotel.
Through idle conversation Jason discovered that they were from Paris and visiting. The clumsy one was Marinette and the giggly one was Alya. The two had gone out for the night to go have some fun.
Both of them had clearly had a bit to drink but Marinette had been right; alcohol did not agree with her at all.
Honestly Jason had wondered if she'd been drugged somehow with how clumsy she was and how every other block she heaved over the curb.
But Marinette reassured him, “Don't worry… this is normal…”
He never said it was good reassurance.
Marinette finally tripped for the last time when Jason said enough.
He scooped her up into his arms and started to carry her the rest of the way.
She blushed and stuttered, “Jason! I can walk!”
He snorted, “Yeah and I can fly.”
Marinette fit so nicely in his arms and she was quite pretty, Jason felt his face heat up a little.
He never really went on dates or looked to romance a woman for a night. Jason had always been the type to want to get to know her and properly romance her first. Call him sappy or a die hard romantic, it was just something he knew he wanted.
Alya interrupted his train of thought with laughter, “Marinette and Jason sitting in a tree! K- I- S- S- I-”
“Alya!” Marinette yelled.
Which of course had Alya devolving into more laughter.
Jason smiled, these two were definitely something alright.
Soon enough they reached the women's hotel and Alya immediately ran inside, yelling something about alone time and laughing all the way.
Shaking his head he carefully sat Marinette on solid ground and she wobbled, unsteady.
“Sorry,” she started, “I'm normally more presentable than this for handsome men…”
Jason smirked and raised an eyebrow, “Oh yeah?”
She nodded.
He chuckled, “Well if this is you looking unpresentable then I'd love to see you looking your best.”
Marinette lit up, “Really?”
Jason was practically blinded by her grin but he nodded, “Yeah, you seem really sweet and interesting, and I'd like to actually get to know you. If you'd like of course…”
She smiled like it was Christmas, “Absolutely!”
Marinette pulled her phone from somewhere and tapped a few times before passing it to Jason, “My number, you should text me tomorrow and we could work out something? Fair warning I'll probably be hung over though.”
Jason smiled and got his own phone out, entering in her number.
“I'll do that.”
Marinette grinned and gave Jason a peck on the cheek, surprising him, then she wobbled off into the hotel.
“Night Jason!”
Shaking his head he chuckled fondly.
That girl was definitely something and he found he didn't really mind missing his Friday night in.
Maybe next time he could invite her to join him?