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Castiel was staring at the bulletin board, his mouth dry and his heart hammering against his ribcage as he read the new announcement.
‘Valentine’s Day 2016 at Lawrence High
Anonymously send a rose with personal note to the one you desire, our cupid will deliver the message on Friday February 12th.’
There was more information about how and where to leave your message, but Castiel knew that he had to talk himself out of this horrible idea before he gave in. Because he was this close to actually doing it. This close to acting on his feelings, to throw caution to the wind. This close to finally doing something about his crush on the most popular guy in school.
“Hey, Cas!” A cheerful voice called his name from not too far away, and suddenly an arm was casually draped around his shoulder. “I can already tell what you’re thinking, and I think that you should go for it.”
Charlie Bradbury, Castiel’s best friend, was wiggling her eyebrows at him, nodding at the school’s special Valentine’s offer.
Castiel sighed, shaking his head. “It’s pointless, we both know that.”
“Oh come on, you won’t know for sure if you don’t try!” Charlie countered immediately, one of her hands ruffling Castiel’s hair. “And honestly, if I have to watch you pine after Dean Winchester for another year, I will end up needing therapy.”
“It is not funny.” Castiel grumbled, giving his friend a sideways glare.
“You’re right, it’s not.” Charlie agreed. “Therapy costs a fortune.”
“Charlie!” Castiel warned, lightly smacking his friend’s arm as he continued to glower at her.
Charlie surrendered, holding up her hands, calling a truce.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry! I’m just saying, as a friend, that this is your chance, Cas. And it’s anonymous, so what do you have to lose, really?”
Castiel sighed, staring at the bulletin board again as he pondered that question.
“My sanity?” He offered after some time had passed.
Charlie shrugged. “Even better. If it doesn’t work out you can join me in therapy, maybe we’ll get a group discount.”
When Castiel reached out to reprimand her with another gentle slap to the arm, she moved out of the way before he could strike.
“Look, all I’m saying is, think about it. And before you start the whole he’s-popular-and-I’m-not argument again… It shouldn’t matter, as far as I know, Dean’s nice to everyone.” Charlie said, more serious now. “I gotta get to class, but I’ll see you at lunch, alright?”
Castiel muttered a goodbye in return when Charlie turned around and took off, feeling anxious as he considered the idea once more. The wise thing would be to forget about it altogether.
~
Six days later, Castiel was deeply regretting the decision he’d made.
February 12th. He froze in his seat the second the door to the classroom opened in the middle of Math class. In walked Garth Fitzgerald, the janitor. Some students said that Garth wasn’t right in the noodle. When looking at him now, dressed in nothing but a giant white diaper with a pair of fake wings and a bow and arrow to match, Castiel suspected that they were right.
“I come bearing gifts.” Garth declared in a dramatic tone, holding up his right hand, the one that held at least fifteen red roses.
To make matters worse, of course it had to happen during the only class that Castiel shared with Dean. This was a scene taken directly from one of Castiel’s worst nightmares.
Garth was handing out roses here and there, and Castiel bit his lip, sinking lower in his chair, mortified. Jo Harvelle got one, and so did Victor Henriksen. Meg Masters got two, and Meg’s friend Ruby had scored three.
“Dean Winchester, six for you, the school record.” Garth whistled as he dumped the roses on Dean’s desk with an elegant hand gesture.
Dean frowned, green eyes narrowing. He looked sincerely surprised.
Castiel breathed out for the first time in what felt like ages, feeling a little defeated. Dean got six, of course. It wasn’t the first time that Castiel was reminded of just how doomed his infatuation with the guy truly was. He made up his mind there and then; he was never going to confess that one of those roses was his doing. Dean would never know that one of the messages came from Castiel, and everything would go back to normal.
“Castiel Novak, one for you.”
Castiel flinched when Garth’s voice was practically singing his name. Next thing he knew, a rose was placed on his desk. Almost all of Castiel’s classmates were staring at him, shock painted on their faces. Dean wasn’t one of them though, he was stiffly staring down at the roses on his own desk.
Garth had already moved on to another victim, and Castiel blinked at his rose, dumbstruck. There had to be some kind of misunderstanding. No one ever even paid attention to shy Castiel Novak with the dorky glasses.
Curious nonetheless, Castiel discreetly checked the card.
‘You’re awesome, don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. PS: I think I could drown in your eyes, and I wouldn’t even mind if did.’
Castiel tried to hide a laugh. This had ‘Charlie’ written all over it. This was a typical case of Castiel’s best friend trying to make him feel better. He could appreciate the joke, and he was kind of thankful that she’d taken the time to make him feel like less of an outcast.
He decided to go find her as soon as class ended, so that he could thank her.
~
Charlie was at the library, using one of the school computers. Castiel grinned as he hugged her from behind, surprising her.
“Whoa, Cas. What was that for? You never hug unless it’s a matter of life or death.” Charlie accused as she turned her head, dragging her eyes away from the screen. “The last time you hugged me was back in kindergarten when my cat died.”
Castiel rolled his eyes. So perhaps she was right, but that was not the point.
“Very funny… I just wanted to thank you for getting me a rose, that was nice of you. The part about drowning in my eyes was impressive, especially considering that you’re not even into males.”
Charlie’s hands slid away from the keyboard, and she turned in her chair to stare up at Castiel, appearing to be completely clueless.
“Rose?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. “That sure as hell wasn’t me… I sent you a friendship card, it should be waiting for you in the mail when you get home.”
There was no doubt that Charlie was speaking the truth; Castiel knew his friend well enough to detect when she was lying.
Castiel’s blood turned to ice. Someone had pranked him. Great. Predictable, but embarrassing all the same. Without thinking, Castiel rushed out of the library. He heard Charlie call after him, but he didn’t stop, aiming for some fresh air and some alone time instead.
~
It was chilly outside, even though the sun was struggling to break through the clouds. Castiel shivered as he took in the empty school yard. It wasn’t time for lunch break yet, which meant that he was alone. Perfect.
He made his way over to a group of trees, sitting down on a wooden bench that was still slightly damp. Putting down his bag, he took a deep breath. Now that he could think clearly, he realized that he was overreacting. It had simply been a prank, and whoever had pulled it, at least the message hadn’t included any mean or harmful words…
“Cas?”
Castiel nearly fell off the bench at the sound of that voice, deep and warm, calling his name so casually.
“Hello…” Castiel mumbled as he looked up into troubled green eyes. “Dean.” He added in an even smaller voice when he realized that this was probably bad news.
Like this, Dean was towering over him, and Castiel felt the need to get up to his feet as well, so that they at least were on the same level. When he did just that, Dean was even closer, and Castiel took a tiny step back.
Did Dean know? Had someone found out about Castiel sending him that rose? Castiel felt sick to his stomach at the mere thought.
“Can I talk to you, Cas?”
For reasons unknown, Dean sounded nothing like the confident guy that Castiel knew, and it was a bit unsettling.
“I… Yes, I guess.” Castiel permitted helplessly, trapped by both those eyes and the intense look on that handsome face.
Dean nodded, but stayed silent for a brief amount of time, as if collecting his thoughts. Castiel shamelessly used that pause to count the freckles on Dean’s nose, until he caught himself in the act and swiftly averted his eyes.
“Look, I think this whole anonymous thing with the roses is one big load of crap.” Dean suddenly stated out of the blue, breaking the silence and making Castiel look up at him again. “I mean, why send someone a message if you’re not even gonna tell them it’s you, right? Besides, it’s weird and awkward…”
Oh no… Dean knew. It felt like Dean’s gaze was boring right into Castiel’s very soul, digging up all of the secrets that he’d tried to keep hidden for so long.
Castiel contemplated running away and hiding in a cave forever, or moving to the other side of the country. Anything, something to get away from Dean Winchester, as well as impending humiliation. But Castiel was not a coward, never had been. He stood a little straighter, squaring his shoulders, a confession on his lips, just waiting to spill out.
“I’m sorry, Dean…” He apologized, loud and clear. “Sending you that rose was stupid, I know it was irrational, and I should’ve known that it would make you uncomfortable. I wasn’t thinking…”
The dumbfounded expression on Dean’s face that followed after, was not what Castiel had anticipated. This entire conversation was getting more confusing by the minute.
“You? No Cas, I was talking about me!” Dean blurted out, face turning pink. “I sent you a rose… I think you’re cute, and smart, and your eyes are just… they’re gorgeous, okay? That’s what I’m trying to tell you, because otherwise what even would the point be, huh?”
Dean was grinning sheepishly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck as he waited for Castiel to say something.
Castiel couldn’t believe what he was hearing, shocked that Dean even knew he existed, let alone that he’d taken an interest in Castiel.
“So did you… Was I the only one who got a rose from you?” Castiel eventually questioned, not knowing what else to say.
Dean put his hand over his heart in mock offense. “Of course! I think one Valentine’s date at a time is enough, don’t you?” He winked at Castiel, and Castiel was officially lost.
“Y-You want to ask me on a date, Dean?”
“Yeah, I do…” Dean replied with a grin. “But first, I wanna know which one of those six messages was yours.”
Again, Castiel was reminded of his competition, but he suddenly felt less nervous. This was Dean, captain of the football team, the popular kid, yet he seemed genuinely vulnerable when talking to Castiel. It made Castiel confident enough to tease him a little.
“How about you guess which one it was?” Castiel said, tilting his head as he challenged Dean.
Dean weighed his options, squinting at Castiel. “Okay… Do I get a bonus if I guess it right away?”
Castiel laughed at Dean’s obvious enthusiasm. “You’ll see.”
Again, Dean was staring at him, as if trying to lift the answer straight from Castiel’s mind. Castiel gladly took yet another opportunity to map Dean’s freckles.
“Ha!” Dean shouted triumphantly, almost making Castiel jump. “It was the message that compared my freckles to the constellations, wasn’t it!”
Damn.
Lucky for Dean, Castiel wasn’t a sore loser. Dean had earned that bonus, fair and square. In a moment of extreme bravery, Castiel stood on his tiptoes and lightly kissed Dean on the lips. When Dean pulled him closer and started kissing him back, Castiel could tell that this was going to be the best Valentine’s day ever.