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And are you sure…that this is your deepest desire?
What else would it be? Besides Math and this.
Hmm…very well. But your payment is too low.
Do you want my SU lightcones or something?
The copy of Aventurine you got there…
Okay fine…guess Bailu gets to return.
So…are you ready?
How do I prepare for this kind of thing?
Shh…close your eyes…remember, you have 12 system hours to do whatever you want to do…
Can I even do it?
Working hard to achieve a goal is a wonderful feeling. It’s the journey that matters, don’t you agree? It makes the reward more satisfying.
No, what the fork are you saying? I have to find out where I am and get travel expenses? 12 hours isn’t enough!
Shh…now relax, customer.
I felt my eyelids get heavier and heavier as my body slumped over. When I opened my eyes, I spouted a chain of words that would make Boothill proud.
12 system hours later…
What in the actual-
I see you’re awake.
Indeed, you have eyes.
If you want another 6 hours, I can work out another deal.
No thank you, 12 hours was barely worth it, I’m not selling my organs for 6.
Why do you distrust me? I merely wish to get you what you want…
It barely even worked, well I suppose the immersive experience was worth the money but it wasn’t what I meant to buy.
Did you even see her?
Kind of? I mainly saw you.
What?
I got isekai’d to the middle of the Sigonian Desert bro-
At least it wasn’t Izumo?
That’s just, like, slightly better than Advilun.
At least you didn’t end up on Edo Star.
What do you mean, at least? I guess it’s my fault, Honkai Star Rail is disaster prone.
Hey, it’s less lethal that whatever Wuthering Waves has going on…
That’s why I even accepted this deal. If it was Honkai Impact 3rd or Wuthering Waves, I would not be paying you that much.
Why not?
I’m going to die in there.
But it’s just a dream.
A very realistic one is as good as true…
So did you get to do it?
Do what? Oh right…
Back then…
Why am I in the middle of a
spits sand out
There is a sandstorm 💀
There’s people over there…oh wait
Oi come here.
What?
some unfriendly looking people come up
Oh…you’re not.
Huh?
Have you seen any Blondes?
Wait is this…
I guess not…
Kind sir, can you point me the way to the nearest dock?
You want to leave? Hahahahaha…do you have money?
Do I have money…I felt around in my pockets, and found…one copper coin.
One tanba…that’s not nearly enough.
Well that confirms my worst fears.
Of all the places I could have spawned, it was Katican territory.
Tell you what, I have some friends looking to buy. If you can get one, we can split the earnings.
One what?
He looks at me, confused.
Never accept a deal without clear terms. It’s not like I have another choice, but better make it clear.
19 tanbas, no more, no less.
Deal? So what is it?
Before that…would you like to put on a shirt, brother?
Wait…why am I not wearing a shirt?
Here, have this black shirt we were gonna throw out. You look suspicious without one.
This is…oh gods.
Just get a nice looking one. Remember, the more interesting, the better.
You haven’t told me what to get.
You look like you already know what we want.
With a sigh, I depart.
roughly two system hours later
Finally, I see civilisation…never mind, it’s two kids-two kids?
I walk closer.
It is a girl, roughly Bailu’s height (although at this point in the timeline, Bailu probably hasn’t been born), and behind her was a boy with eyes I could never forget.
Wait, please, don’t hurt her!
Kinda ironic, considering I just accepted an offer to hurt him.
But I mean, I’m a guy in a black shirt who’s lost in a desert.
Let’s make a bet.
If I wasn’t a HSR player, I would have said yes.
I’m not taking my chances. I don’t have much time left, literally.
I rushed over and reached for the girl.
As I predicted, he put himself in front of her, before I even realised it, and I accidentally held him in a sus region. At least I was a guy.
I grabbed him in a princess carry and ran away.
roughly two more system hours later
I feel really bad about this…but it’s a canon event, right?
Clutching my 20 tanbas for dear life, I ran towards the port, blinking back the tears of a HSR player and Peakcony fan. Also because the sand was in my eyes.
One system hour later…
I have never been so happy to see IPC workers.
Welcome! Would you like to buy a ticket?
Yes?
Would you like to travel to Sigonia I, or Sigonia III?
That’s…not good at all 💀 I need to get out of this forsaken star system. I only have 7 hours left.
Is there a ship heading to…
Actually, there is! But it’s a private flight of IPC executives.
Don’t tell me…
a very awkward and pathetic conversation with Jade later
We can get you on, but you have to do something in return, and you have to travel in the luggage compartment.
What is it?
Can you help me wrap these goodie bags while you’re in the compartment?
What?
Is it a yes or a no?
Yes. Yes!
2h of wrapping later
Finally, it’s done…I hope she doesn’t mind that I have no artistic talent.
Surprisingly good! Off you go.
Wait, where is this?
The Xianzhou Zhuming.
At least I can speak Chinese…oh wait, I don’t need to. For some reason, I woke up with a synesthesia beacon and one tanba, but no shirt.
That Katican was quite a scammer though…since Aventurine was sold for 60 but he only gave me 19, he pocketed 41 as an intermediary.
But I mean, I made deals with many scammers already, such as Mihoyo and Jade. What’s one more?
As I walked along the streets, a strange Diting rammed into me.
Hello, young man. Please, get up.
Thank you.
This is my newest version of the bionic dog, which I call the Dikan.
The what?
The Dikan (explanation: Diting, ting is hearing, kan is seeing, so Dikan) is an innovation. Instead of having 5 good senses, it has 360 vision!
Why not just get 2 Diting? Also, is this an illegal rip off?
The guy is visibly panicked and tries to explain himself, but I walk away.
My previous creation, the Dimo, uses the sense of touch to find anything! My next innovation, the Dichang, will use the sense of taste…
I feel really grossed out by this, send me back to the desert…
Actually, don’t send me back to the desert. I don’t wanna do that again.
A soft tail brushes against me as a young woman runs past me, chatting up a client.
It’s Tingyun! She looks basically the same, since she’s a Foxian.
At this moment, a sketchy looking businessman walked up to me.
As you all know, it is a bad idea to make deals with scammers.
I don’t.
To be fair, the exchange rate of Tanbas to Xianzhou currency is very bad, but he still wanted to scam me, that’s respectable.
Actually, I may have scammed him on accident.
Oh.
Anyway, I bought some water and white pepper chips from the guy, along with a strange mirror. The chips are amazing, I would kill for more.
Another hour slipped by, and I used my remaining Tanbas to get onto a random ship.
No, I didn’t look at the destination. It was the only one I had enough money for.
There were 4 other passengers on board with me. One of them glanced menacingly at us.
A small looking man started some small talk with me.
Cats or dogs?
I prefer…fish?
Just pick one!
Cats!
Dogs it is then…time to get to work.
What in the…
The man sits down and starts to shape a strange material into the shape of a dog. The colours on it shift and fade, eventually settling on a nice hazelnut brown.
I think I did something…wait, if I had picked dog, would Gallagher have become a catboy?
The menacing woman glanced warily around before asking, Which way is the Blue?
Catching sight of a blue planet, I point at it.
Lord Ravager Celenova is coming for you, die!
The woman in front of me shoots out of the window, towards the unsuspecting planet.
Wait…the planet is rotating, is that…Izumo?
My apologies to Acheron.
As I watched Celenova sprint towards Izumo with a black hole generator, another hour slipped me by.
The dog in the little man’s hands begun to take the shape of a man. I am mildly disappointed that it is not a catboy, but younger Gallagher is kinda suave.
We arrived at the stop. The third passenger alights, leaving me, the fictionologist and the chunk of Gallagher on board. I could have sworn I heard the wind, but it quickly dissipated in a blink of an eye.
(guys clap for me I didn’t drift from the plot plan for the first time)
As we departed for the next stop, a small girl with white hair got on the ship with us. She looked way too young to be travelling alone (or with two men), and yet…
Wait, are you…
Hello. Have you seen my daddy?
What?
My daddy. I miss him.
Who is your daddy?
His name is White Swan.
Wait, are you Black Swan?
No, but that’s a great name! I wanna change my name when I grow up.
Despite her naive and outspoken nature at this age, the elegance in her movements is still enchanting, and her eyes flicker with knowingness.
She’s also flat in case you’re wondering.
What’s the next stop?
The next stop is just a stop. No one really gets on or off, it’s mainly a refuel station.
Why do you know that…never mind, fork me, you’re a memokeeper.
At the next stop.
Surprisingly, a man gets on at this stop.
He is elegant, and yet kind. His eyes reflect his love for life and his innocence but betrays his intelligence. He loves the world, regardless of its evil and what it has done to him, and would do anything to preserve the future.
And yet, he is not a pathstrider of preservation. He is too clever to fall for a temporary salvation.
For the finality will consume all.
Hi, Elvin.
Black Swan is reading memories again…if she reads mine, she basically knows the future.
Never mind, she definitely read mine.
Elio’s original name is not Elio. It is composed of El and io, and io is the antithesis of ix because x is nothing and o is everything. (This is fictional and not canon, it was a very bad attempt to mimic Sunday’s speech and I sound like that person who says Jingliu can beat Acheron)
What’s a little girl like you doing here?
This man kidnapped my daddy and refuses to admit it!
Black Swan (not yet) points at me angrily.
I don’t even know you! Why would I take your father?
You’re holding him!
What?
Babe Swan wants White Swan daddy…wahhhhh.
Oh Aeons, stop crying! Elio is gonna think I’m some human trafficker!
Honestly I don’t blame her for changing her name to Black Swan, I can’t imagine introducing myself as Babe Swan.
She points at my mirror quietly. It’s the one I got from the Xianzhou Scammer.
A face appears in the mirror.
Ahhhhhhh!
Elio jumps in surprise, and Black Swan blinks back tears.
How did it come to this? I was in the desert less than 10 hours ago!
After mommy left…daddy also left…
Why do I feel like crying?
I pass the mirror to Babe Swan and turn to the other side, trying not to scare her.
I mean, I was just a girl in a dream Jade put me in, but from her Point of View, I was a creepy man in a black shirt crying over a minor’s dead mom.
Elio chuckled in amusement.
(I had to rewrite a lot of parts cause I found out Black Swan’s mom has Amnesia and was not a memokeeper. I need to start fact checking before I write, not after)
I heard Babe Swan whispering something to Elio…
Oh for Aeons sake…
Wait, you’re saying I became a scriptwriter and my followers sold my scripts to troublemakers?
That’s…someone else’s problem.
And I have hot followers?
What?
I turn around just in time to see Babe Swan nodding in agreement.
And there’s a old guy infused with plants who happens to look like him?
Babe Swan nods again.
Hey! I don’t look like Blade.
Babe Swan moves the mirror to my face.
Oh I actually look like Blade, I’m even wearing a black shirt.
This is the worst 1 hour of my life…or so I thought.
Because the final 2 hours were worse.
Anyway because of plot armour I have money for 2 more stops.
It should definitely have run out by now, but I don’t care enough to write an arc where I earn more money.
At the next stop, Babe Swan alights with the mirror, and Elio decided to go sightseeing, because I said so.
Also Gallagher is old now, so he’s ugly.
The fictionologist is still on board but he is no longer relevant in the plot.
A young woman with beautiful, light blue hair steps on board. I have no idea why a starskiff would travel so far, but it did. Her head is adorned with a ornate, thin golden tiara-wait hold up, why is it floating?
I’m a halovian.
I…know now?
Actually, I knew who she was, but at this time, she wasn’t famous yet, so if I said I knew her, I would just get caught by FBI, since I look like a middle age man.
I am heading to the final stop, a school, to sing for the students’ final examination.
Wait why is the final stop a school?
Do you mind if I practice?
I have never regretted saying yes so much in my life.
Welcome to maiiiiiiiiiiii
Woaaaaaaaaa er
Leanew yore dare fin neeeeee scion
Want more time
an agonising hour later
This is the final hour.
Well let’s check out the dorms at this school.
Biirds are born weeeeef no shackles
Help young Robin can’t sing that well yet.
5 minutes later
Why is it that it is the girls’ dorm that’s open and not the boys dorm…granted, HSR men are ugly.
Let’s see who’s here…with my luck, it’s probably NPCs.
Take this, you son of a nice lady!
If this wasn’t a dream, my reflexes would be reduced by more than half. But this is a dream, so I dodged under his kick, albeit barely.
I picked myself up and ran before he could follow the kick up with a headshot, but he was hot on my heels.
I’m so forked.
I ran as fast as my feet would carry me, picking up a broom for self defence.
I continued to run down the hallway as he chased me, noticing a strange man hanging out with the girls, but I had no time to lose, because the road in front of me was split into two paths.
Miraculously, I won the 50/50 and didn’t run into a dead end, but the next hallway was long. He would be able to shoot me.
Making up my mind, I turned back and stuck the handle of the broom across the passage.
What the fork-
The broom sent him crashing down, but the impact of his leg against the broom also knocks me off my feet.
You have 30 seconds to explain yourself and leave your final words.
That escalated quickly, not gonna lie.
Wait! I’m actually a girl, and this is a dream.
What the fork are you saying?
No…that’s not going to work.
I only have one idea left.
Time to shift all the blame to the IPC.
Oswaldo Schneider sent me-
Boothill understandably raises his gun to my head.
To off you-
He loads the gun.
He has my family, help them at least.
That’s not going to work-
Holy ********, xxxxxxx ruin more families, need to !!!!!!!!! him!
It worked…his hatred for Oswaldo is so intense.
Where is he?
I randomly pointed in a direction, because I don’t actually know where Oswaldo is.
He runs off excitedly.
Well that took a while.
Most of the rooms are empty, and I don’t want to open the door to potentially dressing NPC girls, cause I’m in the body of a guy, you know.
Is that Sampo in that room with 3 girls? Are they…never mind, he’s selling them contraband.
(I want to say he has too many limitations but I’m lowkey glad he does in this context)
As I walk to the end of the hallway, everything starts to become hazy.
The last thing I remember is a girl in uniform turning a corner and coming into my vision as everything fades to black.
And Jade was there.