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Chapter Text

1. Rivers To The Ocean Run

“Pause . . . take a breath . . . and cast!”

Su She drew his arm back and pushed.  The paper talisman in his hand amplified the force of his push and shot it across the courtyard.  The force hit the clay target and shattered it with a satisfying crash.  Su She stepped back and smiled at the results of his efforts.  His teacher, old Master Wan Binwen, applauded.

“Well done, Minshan!” he said.

Su She’s smile grew even broader.  Ever since his tenth birthday, a few months earlier, he had decided that he was old enough to use his courtesy name.  His mother and father tried to remember to use it, but they were not always successful.  And he had to accept that his little brother would never get used to calling him “Minshan.”  Master Wan had not only agreed, but he had used it consistently ever since Su She had asked.  Hearing his courtesy name along with the praise made Su She feel enormously grown-up.

“You have a real talent for talisman work,” Master Wan said.  “It’s not as fashionable or prestigious as the sword, of course.  But never turn your nose up at a good talisman, I always say.”

He made Su She shoot three more talismans, and each one shattered another clay target.  By the time he finished, Su She thought that Master Wen looked . . . tired wasn’t quite the right word.  Wistful floated through his mind, although he had no idea what Master Wen might be wistful about.  Fortunately, he was saved from having to ask by the pounding of small footsteps. 

“Big Brother!  Big Brother!”  Su Huang trotted into the courtyard.  At six years old, he really was too big to be running everywhere, but Mother and Father indulged him in ways that they did not allow with Su She.

“Look A-Huang!” Su She said.  “I hit all the targets.”

A-Huang did not look impressed.  “You always hit them,” he pointed out.  “Father says to come home right now.  There’s an important letter.”

Su She glanced at Master Wan, who nodded.  “Our lesson is over for the day,” he said.  “Please convey my greetings to your parents.”

Su She bowed, and motioned to A-Huang to copy him.  As soon as they rose, A-Huang seized Su She’s sleeve and pulled him away.

At home, Father waited for them with a pleased, proud smile on his face.  “Minshan, my boy,” he said, as the two boys entered.  “It is a great day for the Su family.”

Su She bowed.  “What happened, Father?”

Father pointed to a letter sitting on the table.  It was written on glossy white paper and elegantly bound, tied with a ribbon that had a pattern of little clouds worked into it.  “This arrived from Gusu today,” Father said.  “Acting Clan Leader Lan writes that he will send a teacher all the way from Cloud Recesses to evaluate you.  The teacher will arrive tomorrow.”

“Evaluate me for what?”  As soon as the words left his mouth, Su She felt foolish.  There was only one reason that a teacher from Gusu would ever travel to Moling to visit his family.

Fortunately, Father did not mind the question.  “Master Wan and I have discussed it,” he said.  “We both feel that you have talent and potential as a cultivator.  If this teacher agrees, I will send you to Gusu to become a disciple of the Lan Clan.  It would be a great honor for the family.”

Su She had not expected this news.  “I would . . . move to Cloud Recesses?” he asked.  “Live there and dress in white and walk in lines?”

“Yes,” Father said.  “You would study the sword, and music, philosophy and ethics and etiquette.  It is an immense opportunity.  There is no one quite like the Lan Clan.”

That much was certainly true.  Su She had seen some Lan cultivators on the not infrequent occasions when they visited Moling for night hunting.  They always looked impressive in their elegant white robes, and the discipline of the disciples, even the big boys and girls who came along for training, was a little bit intimidating.  Su She tried to imagine himself dressed in white, marching in a line and looking straight ahead.

“Gusu is far away,” A-Huang said.  “Is Big Brother going to go far away?”

“He will no longer live at home with us,” Father answered.  “But Gusu is not so far away from Moling.  Once Minshan learns to fly on his sword, he might come and honor us with a visit.”

The prospect seemed overwhelming.  The Lan Clan teacher had not even arrived yet, and Father was already planning for Su She’s move to faraway Gusu.  Su She’s mouth went dry, and he had to swallow a few times before he could speak.  “Father,” he ventured.  “Do you think that I can do this?”

Father laughed and dismissed Su She’s worries with a wave of his hand.  “Of course you can.  You will become a disciple of the Lan Clan, and A-Huang will study for the civil service exams.  Both of my sons will make this family proud.”

Father had spoken.  The future was decided.

The next day, Su She went to his lesson with Master Wan at his usual time.  But the lesson was anything but ordinary.  Master Wan taught him nothing new, but insisted on reviewing not only Su She’s repertoire of spiritual tricks but also his deportment.  “The Lan Clan values proper posture and behavior as much as scholarship or spiritual prowess,” he said.  “If you wish to make an impression on them, you must show your care for all the details of a cultivator’s life.”

Su She walked one lap around the courtyard with as much grace as he could muster.  “Master,” he ventured.  “If I do go to Cloud Recesses, will there be children my age there?”

“Of course,” Master Wan said.  “Cloud Recesses is a fully functional community, with families and children.  In fact, the current Clan Leader has sons.  One of them is about your age, I think.  On that subject, tell me about the leadership of Cloud Recesses.”

This was a test, and Su She snapped to attention.  “The current Clan Leader of the Lan Clan is Qingheng-Jun,” he said.  “But Qingheng-Jun has undertaken a lifetime of seclusion.  The Acting Clan Leader is . . .”

He scrunched his nose as he thought quickly.  He had sneaked a look at the letter that Father had received last night, just before he had gone to bed.  The signature on the letter had been . . . “Lan Qiren?”

“That is correct.”  A tall man in white robes and an unmistakable white headband entered the courtyard.  Two Lan attendants and Su She’s father trailed after him.  Master Wan bowed, and Su She followed suit.  “Wan Binwen,” the Lan teacher said.  “It is good to see you again.  I trust that you are keeping well.”

“I am,” Master Wan said.  “I do my best to keep the ghosts and spirits at bay, and I have my occasional students.  Su Minshan here is the most promising one I have had in many years.”

“Hm.”  The Lan teacher turned his attention to Su She.  “I am Lan Xiaosi.  Do you know why I am here?”

“You’re going to test me,” Su She answered.  “Father said that, if I am good enough, you will take me to live in Cloud Recesses.”

Lan Xiaosi nodded.  “That is sufficient for now.  What will you show me first?  Physical skills or scholarship?”

Su She went cold with panic.  He had not realized that the testing would be so thorough.  He thought fast, and decided that it would be best to start with something physical, so he could work some of his jitters out.  “I’m good at talisman throwing,” he offered.

“Then show me that skill.”

Master Wan shuffled to the other end of the courtyard and set up a row of five clay targets.  Su She pulled talismans from the box that sat on a shelf near the door.  Master Wan returned and drew a starting line on the ground.  “Relax,” he said.  “Center your power and cast.  Just like we always practice.”

Su She closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  He told himself sternly that it didn’t matter that his father, Lan Xiaosi, and two junior Lan attendants were watching him.  It was the same courtyard, the same talismans, and the same targets.  He wound up and cast the five talismans, one after the other.  The five clay targets shattered, one after the other.

Father beamed with undisguised pride, and Master Wan gave a satisfied nod.  Lan Xiaosi did not show much of any expression, but then, the test was not yet finished.  “Do you know sword forms?” he asked.

“I have taught him the forms of the Lan Clan,” Master Wan put in.

This seemed to satisfy Lan Xiaosi.  He examined Su She’s sword and decided that it was of sufficient quality.  Then he made Su She stand in the middle of the courtyard and demonstrate forms as he called out their numbers.  Su She managed to keep up even with the quick pace that Lan Xiaosi set.  Then, Lan Xiaosi called one of his juniors over, and commanded Su She to fight a demonstration duel with him.  The Lan junior was older and taller than Su She, and defeated him, but Su She was not ashamed.  He had not gone down in the first exchange of thrusts, and he had even managed to land a touch or two on his opponent.

“Thank you for that demonstration,” Lan Xiaosi said.  “We of the Lan Clan value scholarship as much as martial prowess.  Come stand before me.”

Su She obeyed.  Lan Xiaosi asked him a rapid series of questions ranging from heraldry to the nature of evil spirits to the interpretation of ancient legends.  Su She answered the questions as best he could.  There were a few topics that Master Wan had not taught him, but he guessed at those answers anyway.  Lan Xiaosi gave no indication whether Su She’s answers were right or wrong.  Finally, he stopped, and asked one more question.

“What instruments have you trained?”

A pit opened up in Su She’s stomach.  He remembered that the Lan Clan specialized in musical cultivation, and many of them used the guqin, the xiao, or the erhu as a first-class spiritual tool.  His face burned.  “I haven’t trained any,” he admitted. 

“We didn’t have enough money for separate instrument lessons,” Father explained.  “Master Wan does not teach music.”

It was shameful to hear it out loud, but Su She was grateful to Father for stepping in, at least.  Lan Xiaosi did not mock Father.  Instead, he turned to Su She.  “Even if you do not have an instrument, you have a voice,” he said.  “I will sing a series of melodies.  You will sing them back to me.”

The melodies that Lan Xiaosi sang were short, but they sounded strange.  Su She did his best to repeat them, but he had never enjoyed singing, and he felt suddenly shy about having to sing in front of Master Wan and Father.  By the time he finished, he was red in the face, and could not look anyone in the eye.

“Thank you, Su Minshan,” Lan Xiaosi said.  “Please wait here with Master Wan.  Su Weizhe, if you will come with me?”  He and Father left the courtyard, trailed by the two Lan juniors.  Su She watched them go inside Master Wan’s house.

Master Wan smiled and patted Su She on the shoulder.  “You did very well,” he said.  “I am proud of you.”

“Do you think I did well enough?” Su She asked.  “There were questions that I didn’t know the answers to, because we haven’t worked on those subjects.”

“I am sure Master Lan will understand.”

Su She frowned and kicked up some dust in the courtyard.  “Why did Master Lan come, anyway?” he asked.  “Why can’t we continue our lessons, just the two of us?”

Master Wan sighed.  “Oh, Minshan,” he said.  “I am proud to be your first cultivation teacher.  But you have learned so quickly and so thoroughly.  Soon you will have learned everything that I can teach you.  Your father and I discussed it, and I suggested that you ought to be tested and join a real cultivation clan.”

It wasn’t a bad explanation, and it certainly made Su She feel better about himself.  He even felt a little spark of pride in his chest that he was almost as good a cultivator as Master Wan himself.  Why, if the Lan Clan accepted him, that would mean that Lan Xiaosi admitted that he was as good as Master Wan.  He might even be selected to learn along with Clan Leader Lan’s son, the one who was just his age.  Perhaps they would become friends, and then Su She would be the right-hand man of the Clan Heir, poised to become the perfect First Disciple.

Lan Xiaosi and Father returned, startling Su She out of his imagination.  Lan Xiaosi looked serene, but Father was smiling from ear to ear.  “Ah, Minshan, my boy,” he said.  “It is a proud day for the Su family!”

“Do you mean -- ?”  Su She glanced from Father’s broad smile to Lan Xiaosi’s calm face.

Lan Xiaosi nodded.  “I believe that you have skills that are worthy of further evaluation in Cloud Recesses,” he said.  “When you arrive, we will conduct further testing to find out which classes would best suit you.”

The adults all bowed to each other.  Su She also bowed, though what he really wanted to do was dance with relief that the test was over, and that he had passed.

Su She did not leave for Cloud Recesses until a month later.  That was enough time for Mother and Father to assemble the short list of things that Su She would need to bring with him, and for Mother and some of the other ladies in the neighborhood to sew a few new outfits and a warm cloak suitable for cold mountain weather.  Su She went to school and to his lessons with Master Wan.  Both the schoolmaster and Master Wan stopped teaching him anything new and instead made him review the lessons that he had already learned.

“You will have lessons in Cloud Recesses,” the schoolmaster said.  “They may teach things differently there, so I will not fill your head with new material that might confuse you later on.”

Master Wan’s explanation was different.  “You must be completely perfect in all your moves once you arrive in Cloud Recesses,” he said.  “It is better to arrive with fewer moves that you can execute perfectly than with lots of sloppy attempts.  The masters there will pick up where you and I have left off, and they will appreciate perfection and attention to detail.”

A-Huang was excited by all the activity.  He petted Su She’s new clothes enviously and demanded to accompany him to his cultivation lessons.  He even boasted to his friends that his Big Brother was going to go to Cloud Recesses and become a famous cultivator.  But as Su She’s departure date drew near, A-Huang became quiet and tearful.

“Big Brother is going away!” he cried.  “I don’t want Big Brother to go away!”

Mother took A-Huang onto her lap, even though he was far too big for that.  “We will miss Big Brother,” she said.  “But we can write letters to him.  Perhaps he will even write letters back to us.”

Watching Mother soothe A-Huang, the reality of his future hit Su She for the first time.  He was really going away, traveling far away and up a mountain to Cloud Recesses.  He would be far away from his family, in a strange place full of strange people.  His stomach felt strange, and he went to find Father.

“Do you think they’ll like me in Cloud Recesses?” he asked.

Father snorted.  “What kind of a question is that?” he replied.  “You are clever, a hard worker, and a good cultivator.  There is no reason that they wouldn’t like you.”

“What if I get sick or I need help?” Su She asked.  He thought of times when Mother had sat by his bed and wiped his face with a cool cloth when he had a fever, or when she had bandaged scraped knees and elbows and mended torn clothing.

“You will hardly be the only child there,” Father said.  “Likely the masters know how to take care of children as well as teach them.”

Father had chosen a departure date that was both auspicious and early enough that they would make it to Cloud Recesses long before the mountain weather made the roads difficult.  He would escort Su She himself, while Mother would stay at home to mind the business and take care of A-Huang.  Su She and Father would depart at daybreak, so the day before they left was the last time that Su She would see Mother and A-Huang.

He had already bidden Master Wan and his friends at school farewell.  He spent his last day at home trailing after Mother as she packed his new clothes, his sword, a few lucky trinkets, and a stack of talisman paper into bundles.  A-Huang followed them as well, insisting that he stay at Big Brother’s side for his last day.  When Mother finished packing, she went to cook dinner.  Su She was pleased to see that she cooked all of his favorite foods, making a rich, varied meal fit for a holiday.

“I don’t know what they eat in Cloud Recesses, up on that mountain,” she said.  “They might not make beef and pea pods the way we always eat it, and they might not put enough pepper in the soup.  And we must have a fish to celebrate as you move on to bigger and better things!”

That night, the Su family feasted.  Mother and A-Huang hugged and kissed Su She.  He and Father would rise early the next morning for their journey. 

As tearful as his farewells had been, the trip to Cloud Recesses with Father was exciting.  Father had rented a donkey for the occasion, and the donkey carried their belongings, as well as Su She when his feet grew tired at the end of the day.  They could not afford to stay in inns, so they bought food from street vendors in small towns and camped by the side of the road in the evenings.  They sang songs at their campfire each night, and Father told Su She interesting stories, including some family stories that Su She had never heard before.

After a week of travel, they reached Caiyi, the main city of Gusu.  Caiyi was smaller than Moling, but it seemed brighter and more colorful.  A river ran right through the town, and people floated up and down the river on boats.  Some merchants set up stalls right by the riverbank, so close that customers could make purchases without having to step out of their boats.

“The river empties out into Biling Lake,” Father said.  “A lot of the people here are fishers.”

He counted out the money in his purse, his forehead wrinkled in thought.  Then he glanced up at the mountains that loomed above Caiyi.  “It’s a steep climb,” he muttered to himself.  Then he turned to Su She, and there was a smile on his face.

“Minshan,” he said, “how would you like to sleep in a real bed tonight?”

“You mean an inn?”  Su She had never stayed in an inn before.

Father nodded.  “I’ve been careful with our money,” he said.  “We won’t be able to afford the best room, but I think we can find a place to sleep indoors tonight.  We have a long climb tomorrow, and we don’t want to arrive at Cloud Recesses looking like beggars.”

Su She followed Father through the streets until they stopped at a small, pleasant-looking inn.  They unloaded the donkey, and Su She stayed outside and held its bridle while Father negotiated a price.  After a few moments, a servant came out and bowed to him.

“I will bring the donkey to our stable,” he said.  “Young master, your father is waiting for you inside.”

Su She patted the donkey’s neck and went into the common room.  He and Father followed the innkeeper to a small, sunny room that had two beds and a desk.  Su She sat on one of the beds and ran his finger over the soft, worn fabric of the pillow.  He wished that he could tell Mother and A-Huang about the excitement of staying in an inn.  But he supposed that he would have to save it to tell his new friends at Cloud Recesses instead.  He hoped that the Clan Leader’s son would be impressed.

Chapter Text

2. From All Terrestrial Things

The next morning, Su She and Father put their pack back on the donkey and began the climb to Cloud Recesses.  They dressed in plain traveling clothes that would absorb the sweat of the climb, but just before the gate to Cloud Recesses came in sight, Father pulled them off the road.  He unpacked a set of water gourds and fine silk outfits, and directed Su She to go behind a bush and wash himself before changing into the fancy clothes.  When Su She emerged, he saw that Father had also washed and changed.  Father combed and re-tied his hair and then lifted him onto the donkey’s back.

“Hold on tight,” he said.  “I don’t want those clothes to get dusty or caught on a branch.  You should look your very best when we arrive.”

Before long, they approached a simple white gate guarded by two beribboned cultivators in white.  Father rummaged in his sleeve and produced a letter, which he showed to the guards.  They read it carefully, and then one of them waved a hand to dissolve the wards set over the gate.

“Follow me,” the guard said.  “I will carry your bag, and my colleague will tend to your donkey.”

Father lifted Su She down from the donkey.  The Lan guard unhooked their bag, and they followed him through the gate, up a short set of stairs, and along a well-maintained path.  At first glance, Cloud Recesses was beautiful.  It was green and peaceful, and Su She saw wooded areas and heard a river flowing somewhere in the distance.  Eventually, they reached the main living compound, a collection of simple, elegant buildings connected by dark wood walkways.

The guard led them to a room that was as nice as the one in the inn and set their bags down on one of the beds.  “You may rest here for a time,” he said.  “Someone will bring tea shortly.  When the Grand Master is ready to see you, we will send an escort.”

He bowed and left the room. Su She and Father barely had time to look at the place before the door opened again and a junior disciple entered with a tray of tea and soft rice buns.  She handed Father a set of small jade tokens, explaining that they would grant entrance to the dining hall when it opened for dinner.

“Please rest now,” she said.  “The Grand Master will be ready for you shortly, and I will return then.”  She bowed and left.

The climb to Cloud Recesses had not been easy, and Su She was hungry.  He and Father drank the tea and ate the rice buns gratefully, even though the rice buns were very plain.  Su She unpacked his sword and tried to do some of the warm-up exercises that Master Wan had taught him.  His stomach fluttered with excitement, and he was glad that the rice buns had been the sort of plain food that a nervous stomach could keep down.

Father watched him doing his exercises with a fond, somewhat sad smile on his face.  It occurred to Su She that Father would eventually leave to go back home to Moling, and Su She would remain here in this strange, quiet compound, far away from the nearest town.  He was not sure how he felt about that, so he decided not to think about it and concentrate on his sword forms instead.

A short time later, the young lady who had brought their tea returned.  “The Grand Master is ready to see you now,” she said.  “I will escort you.”

As they walked through the living compound, Su She looked around, trying to memorize the route they took.  After all, it was never too early to start learning his way around.  At last, they stopped at a particular pavilion.  Their guide knocked on the door, and they were ushered into a room that was elegantly decorated in pale blue and dark wood.

Lan Xiaosi was there, and Su She smiled in relief at seeing a face that was at least a little familiar.  Next to Lan Xiaosi stood a solemn, bearded man who surveyed Su She and Father with an air of judgement.  This had to be the Grand Master, the Acting Clan Leader, Lan Qiren.  Without thinking about it, Su She and Father immediately bowed to Lan Qiren.  As Su She rose from his bow, he noticed a boy about his own age standing next to Lan Qiren.  The boy looked at him, but said nothing.

“Su Weizhe.  Su Minshan.  Be welcome,” Lan Qiren said.  “I am Acting Clan Leader Lan Qiren.  You have met Lan Xiaosi already.  This is the Clan Heir, Lan Xichen.  There is no need to speak to him; he is here solely to observe and learn.”

Su She wasn’t entirely sure what Lan Xichen was meant to learn, but he did not dare to ask.  Instead, he held his tongue and hoped that Lan Xichen would be sufficiently impressed by whatever Su She was asked to do.

Lan Qiren indicated with a gesture that Father should occupy a seat placed at the side of the room.  Then he turned back to Su She.  “The foundation of the Lan Clan is scholarship,” he said.  “Therefore, I will examine you in history, philosophy, and the theory of cultivation.”

The examination was shorter than the one Lan Xiaosi had given him, but the questions that Lan Qiren asked were deeper and more complex.  Su She answered as many of them as he could.  But sometimes, he was forced to say “I don’t know,” or explain that Master Wan had not taught this or that topic.  He hoped that Lan Qiren would not mind.

When the questions finally stopped, Lan Xiaosi leaned over and murmured something to Lan Qiren, too quietly for Su She to hear.  Lan Qiren nodded and beckoned to Su She.  “Show me your hands, young master,” he said.

Puzzled, Su She approached Lan Qiren and held out his hands.  Lan Qiren held them, turned them over, and gently stretched each finger.  Then he turned to Father.  “May I examine your hands as well, sir?” he asked.

Father rose from his seat and allowed Lan Qiren to inspect his hands in the same way he had inspected Su She’s.  Neither of them understood what Lan Qiren was looking for, but he seemed satisfied with his inspection.  “Very well,” he said.  “Come out to the courtyard.  I will see Young Master Su’s sword forms.”

In the courtyard, Su She first presented his sword to Lan Qiren for inspection.  It was the best sword that Father could afford.  He had commissioned it for Su She’s eighth birthday, when Master Wan had made it clear that Su She had real talent for cultivation.  Lan Qiren examined it closely and sighted along the blade.  “This is a good sword,” he said.  “Though perhaps a little large for you, Young Master Su.”

Su She did not mind.  “It’s the one I’ve been learning with,” he said.  “Father gave it to me.  He says I’ll grow into it.”

“So you will,” Lan Qiren said.  “For now, show me what you can do with it.”

Just as in Moling, Lan Xiaosi called out sword positions, and Su She obeyed as fast and as precisely as he could.  He wondered if Lan Xiaosi would want him to demonstrate dueling.  His junior attendants were not with them today, and the only possible opponents for a demonstration duel would be Lan Xiaosi, a strong and well-trained grownup, or Lan Xichen, the Clan Heir.  Su She would have no chance against either of them.

Fortunately, Lan Xiaosi seemed to realize this.  Rather than asking for a demonstration duel, he set up paper targets at the far side of the courtyard and told Su She to strike them down using only the spiritual power of the sword.  Su She was not quite as skilled doing this with the sword as he was with talismans, but he did his best, knocking down most of the targets and at least clipping the ones that didn’t fall.  By the time he finished, he was sweating, and he glanced at Father nervously, worried that he had ruined the fine clothes he had arrived in.

Father smiled at him, which was reassuring.  Lan Qiren and Lan Xiaosi conversed quietly, and Su She knew that they were judging his performance.  He hoped it had been good enough that Lan Qiren would not take back his invitation to study at Cloud Recesses.  He stood awkwardly in the middle of the courtyard, not sure what to do with his hands. 

As he looked around, he made eye contact with Lan Xichen, who had been so quiet that Su She had almost forgotten that he was there.  He wanted to go over and introduce himself, to start being friends with this boy his own age who would grow to be someone important, but he had been told to stay still and not speak to Lan Xichen, so he did that.  The two boys stared at each other in silence.

At last, Lan Xiaosi turned back to them and smiled.  “Thank you for your time and your patience,” he said.  “The grand Master and I will take the time to determine which classes Young Master Su should be placed in.  While we do this, there is enough time before dinner to visit the wardrobe and select clothing of the appropriate size.  Dinner will be signaled by a bell, as will curfew this evening.  Young Master Su, you may stay with your father in your guest room tonight.  We will assign you an appropriate room in the children’s dormitory tomorrow.”

Father bowed.  “Master Lan,” he said.  “My wife made plenty of new clothes for Minshan before we arrived.”

Lan Xiaosi gave Father a gentle smile.  “As a disciple of the Lan Clan, he will wear our cultivation uniform.  Do not worry about the expense; we will provide the clothing he needs.”

That was disappointing.  Su She had been looking forward to wearing the new clothes that Mother had made.  Now, he supposed that Father would bring them back to Moling and wait for A-Huang to grow into them.  But there was nothing to do but bow his thanks to the Grand Master and his new teacher.

Lan Xichen guided them to the wardrobe pavilion.  He was polite, but very quiet.  Su She wished he knew what Lan Xichen thought of him, or that he was brave enough to speak to Lan Xichen.  But just as he screwed up his courage, they arrived.

Fortunately, the wardrobe mistress was friendlier than most of the people Su She had met at Cloud Recesses thus far.  She whisked Su She behind a curtain, asked him how old he was, and measured different parts of his body.  Then she called an assistant over and asked him to go into the clothing storage chamber and select three complete changes of clothing for Su She.  “And don’t forget to look at the hems,” she said.  “Choose robes with deep hems that can be let out.  I suspect that this one will grow.”

After the assistant left, she turned to him.  “Don’t worry,” she said.  “I make sure that all of the clothes in this pavilion are kept clean and mended.  And the clothes that are your size aren’t overly worn – children grow so fast that clothes stay nice for quite a while.”

Su She liked her immediately.  “It’s a shame that I can’t keep anything my mother made for me,” he said.  “She sews very well.”

“Does she?”  The wardrobe mistress thought for a few moments.  “Well, let me see what I can do.  Bring me anything she made that’s white or blue.  Junior disciples wear uniforms, but there are always tricks.”

That made Su She feel a little better.  The assistant returned with his arms full of clothes, and the wardrobe mistress selected an outfit and sent Su She behind the curtain to change into it.  He emerged looking solemn and elegant, not entirely like himself.  Father beamed with pride to see his son dressed in the clothes of the Lan Clan, and the wardrobe mistress nodded with satisfaction.

“What about the ribbon?” Su She asked.  “Everyone I’ve seen here wears a ribbon around their head.  And Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen had fancy ribbons with plates, too.”

The wardrobe mistress shook her head.  “The ribbon is for those disciples born or adopted into the Clan, and the plate is for the immediate family of the Clan Leader – Lan Qiren is his brother, and Lan Xichen is his son.  You are what we call a guest disciple.  Unless you are formally adopted and take the Lan name in place of Su, you need not wear the ribbon.”

“Oh.”  Su She could not quite mask his disappointment.

“Don’t worry,” the wardrobe mistress said.  “There are plenty of guest disciples here.  You are not the only one who does not bear the responsibility of a ribbon.”

She inspected the fit of his clothes and pronounced it acceptable.  “Take the rest back to your room,” she said.  “You should have just enough time before dinner.  And don’t forget – bring me the white and blue things that your mother made!”

When the bell rang for dinner, Su She and Father did not need a guide.  They simply followed everyone else.  Father looked at the other Lan Clan cultivators gathering, many of them junior disciples or young seniors.  “I suppose that some people cook for themselves or eat in their homes,” he said.  “Most likely the most senior members of the Clan, or young families.  But this seems like a good opportunity to get to know people.”

Su She did not want to give up his last dinner with Father so easily, but Father found a compromise.  He secured seats for them at a table where other junior disciples sat.  They looked at Su She with some puzzlement, and Su She immediately felt self-conscious about wearing his Lan uniform to the dining hall when he had not even started classes.  But he could not disappoint Father, so he put a smile on his face.

“I’m Su She,” he said, and immediately winced.  He had meant to introduce himself as “Su Minshan,” but he had only recently started using his courtesy name, and it still felt strange to him.  “My courtesy name is Su Minshan,” he added, hoping that he could save the situation.  “I’m new here.  I’ll be starting classes tomorrow.”

The junior disciples nodded politely.  One of them leaned over and murmured, “We don’t talk during meals here.”

Indeed, the rest of the dining hall was eerily quiet.  The silence was broken only by the sounds of chewing and chopsticks tapping against bowls.  There was no meat in any of the dishes.  Su She liked mushrooms and tofu well enough, but he was suddenly glad that Mother had cooked such an extravagant feast before he left home.

After dinner was over, Su She and Father joined the rest of the Lan disciples depositing their dishes and chopsticks in baskets to be washed.  Another bell sounded, and one of the junior disciples who had sat with Su She and Father at dinner informed them that this was time for evening recreation, and that the next bell would signal curfew.  Just as Su She was wondering what the Lan Clan did for recreation, a young messenger, a girl not much older than himself, appeared at his side.

“The Grand Master requests your presence,” she said.  “I will take you to him.”

Su She and Father followed her out of the dining hall.

Lan Qiren and Lan Xiaosi were waiting for them in the same elegant room where they had begun the examination earlier in the day.  Lan Xiaosi nodded approvingly when he saw Su She’s new clothes.  “Very proper,” he said.  “We will conduct the ceremony officially accepting you as a guest disciple now, so that you can get a good night’s sleep before beginning your lessons tomorrow.”

Su She had not expected this to happen so soon.  He wondered if this ceremony would be the last time he would ever see his father, and panic flashed through him.  “Will I still stay with Father tonight?” he asked.  “You said that I wouldn’t be assigned to a dormitory until tomorrow.”

“Yes,” Lan Xiaosi said.  “You have not stopped being your father’s son, and we want you to have time for a proper farewell.”

That made Su She feel better.  Father gave him a warm pat on the shoulder and smiled proudly.  Lan Xiaosi gave Su She a bamboo scroll with the text of an oath on it.  He let Su She read it through and then directed him to recite it out loud to Lan Qiren and bow to the ground twice.  After Su She did so, Lan Qiren recited a short promise to care for, teach, and nurture Su She as a loyal scholar of the Lan path of cultivation.

It was that simple.  Su She was now a guest disciple of the Lan Clan.  Father looked as though his heart would burst with pride.  Mindful of his manners, he did not actually hug Su She, but he did say, “Minshan, my boy,” in a voice that sounded like a hug.  Lan Qiren and Lan Xiaosi did not smile, but their eyes glowed.

“We will not keep you much longer,” Lan Xiaosi said.  “Curfew is soon, and I want to show you your classes for tomorrow.”

He took out a piece of paper and showed it to Su She.  The list of subjects was long and a little bit intimidating.  Some of the subjects Su She had learned, either at school in Moling or from Master Wan.  But there were some that he had never even attempted. 

“I don’t know anything about ethics,” he said.

“I understand,” Lan Xiaosi said.  “I have exchanged letters with Master Wan and with your father about your education.  We have placed you in classes that are appropriate for your prior educational achievements.”

Su She was not entirely sure what that meant, but he resolved to study so hard that he would advance quickly.  “There are guqin lessons on this sheet,” he said.

Lan Xiaosi nodded.  “The Lan Clan is known for cultivation through music.  Most children begin with the guqin, although we have teachers for xiao and erhu as well.”

“I don’t have a guqin.”

“We will provide you with one.  It will be a child-sized instrument, and you will outgrow it soon.  But by that point, you will know whether this is an instrument that you wish to pursue seriously.  If you want that, we can arrange an adult-sized guqin for you.”

Su She wondered how Father could possibly be expected to pay for a luxury like a guqin, even if he didn’t have Su She’s food and clothing to worry about.  But he was too tired to worry seriously about the problem.  It had been a long day, full of hard work and new experiences.  He tried to be polite and not yawn in front of the grownups, but they saw his drooping eyelids anyway.

Lan Xiaosi gave him a gentle smile.  “It is nearly curfew,” he said.  “Go back to your guest room with your father and get some sleep.  I will send someone to you tomorrow morning to show you where your classes are.”

Su She was too tired to speak.  He bowed politely to Lan Qiren and Lan Xiaosi, and he and Father returned to their room.

Morning activities began early in Cloud Recesses.  Su She said goodbye to Father as the sun was still rising.  Father hugged him tightly, told him to be a good boy and study hard, and promised to deliver Su She’s love and the clothing that was not white or blue back to Mother and A-Huang.  Lan Yong, one of the junior disciples who had sat with him at dinner the night before, had been assigned to show Su She where to go.  He graciously allowed Su She to accompany Father to the gate to wave goodbye.  Then Su She followed Lan Yong to the dining hall for breakfast.

Breakfast was as plain as dinner had been, but Su She was too excited to care.  He showed Lan Yong the schedule that Lan Xiaosi had given him.  Lan Yong nodded wisely.

“Oh, you’ll be doing advanced talisman work,” he said.  “That’s unusual.  We don’t have a lot of people who do more than the basics with talismans.  I never really got beyond the intermediate class.”

“Maybe I can teach you some time,” Su She offered.

Lan Yong shrugged.  “Right now, you have beginning ethics.  That’s the class where you learn all of the Lan Clan rules.  You’re not from here, so it makes sense that you’d start in that class.”  He thought for a moment.  “I think the Clan Leader’s son is in that one.”

It seemed strange that Lan Xichen would be in a beginner class in any subject, but maybe ethics was a complicated subject that you had to be at least ten years old to understand.  Certainly none of the little children in the school in Moling studied anything as complicated as ethics.  Su She decided that he didn’t mind being put in the beginner class, because he could sit next to Lan Xichen and start to make friends with him.  He smiled as he brought his dishes to the wash baskets and followed Lan Yong to his ethics class.

When they entered the room, Su She thought at first that Lan Yong had made a mistake.  The other students were little children, around A-Huang’s age.  Su She felt like a clumsy giant in the room.  “I thought you said the Clan Leader’s son was in this class,” Su She whispered to Lan Yong.

“He is.”  Lan Yong pointed to one of the tinier children, sitting quietly at a desk in the corner looking at a book.  “That’s Lan Zhan – no, we’re supposed to call him Lan Wangji now.”

In his excitement over meeting Lan Xichen, Su She had forgotten that Clan Leader Lan had two sons.  Lan Wangji looked up when he heard his name, but he barely spared Su She a glance before he turned back to his book.  Su She’s stomach pinched at the thought that he would have to study with all of these rich children who were littler and yet more educated than he was.  They were probably all stuck up and snobbish, just like Lan Wangji, who could not even be bothered to say hello.

Well, he would show them.  He would learn ethics so well that he would advance out of this class before the rest of the little children finished learning to read the rules.  He took the seat that the teacher indicated and opened his book, trying very hard not to feel like a large lump.

Chapter Text

3. Thy Better Portion Trace

Su She’s first day of study at Cloud Recesses was not a brilliant success, but it was also not an unmitigated failure.  He had been placed in baby classes for ethics and philosophy, and it annoyed him to see children so much younger than himself reciting endless lists of rules perfectly.  But when it was time for history and poetry and calligraphy, the master sent him to a different classroom with children who were his own age.  Lan Xichen was in these classes, and he even nodded politely when Su She waved to him.  And it turned out that Su She was more advanced in mathematics than the Lan Clan children of his age.  When he entered that classroom, he found that he was the smallest person in the room, and one of the older students had to move from his front-row desk so that Su She could sit in a place where he could see the master.

The advanced talisman class consisted of three young ladies and one young man who were almost old enough to become senior disciples.  Su She liked the teacher, and he enjoyed learning new talismans, but he did not like the way the other students called him “Little Bit,” and he quickly learned to avoid one of the young ladies who loved to ruffle his hair.

The classes in swordsmanship were divided by size and physical ability rather than by age.  Any class could have students of many different ages, and Su She did not feel particularly self-conscious in these mixed groups.  Master Wan had taught him well enough that he had been placed in an intermediate group, where he found himself solidly in the middle of the pack.

When he had his guqin lesson, he found himself back in a group with the little children from his ethics and philosophy classes, but Lan Wangji was not among them.  “The Grand Master teaches both of the Jades himself,” the music master explained.  “I teach the First Jade xiao, as the Grand Master does not play that instrument.  But he is a master guqin player, and he and I divide the advanced students between us, so that I have time to teach xiao as well.”

It seemed that classes were taken extremely seriously in Cloud Recesses, but there were short breaks between subjects and a longer break in the middle of the day for lunch.  Lan Yong steered Su She to a table with children his own age, some of whom he recognized from their lessons together that day.  Su She opened his mouth to introduce himself, but Lan Yong beat him to it.

“This is Su She,” he said.  “He’s a new disciple, come all the way from Moling.”

“I’m Su Minshan,” Su She said, but it was lost in the chorus of polite greetings from the other children.  It seemed that Su She’s courtesy name was a lost cause.  Still, there would always be time to change that.  Better to make friends first and then tell them his courtesy name individually, he decided.  So he smiled at the other children and bowed politely.

As he settled into the rhythm of daily life in Cloud Recesses, Su She found that he adjusted well to most of his classes.  He had not quite managed to become close friends with Lan Xichen, but he now understood that this was less because Lan Xichen was avoiding him than because Lan Xichen simply was not allowed to spend much time playing with friends.  As the Clan Heir, he had extra lessons in heraldry and diplomacy, and sometimes sat at Lan Qiren’s side, observing meetings.  When he did have time to see Su She, he was friendly enough, which was encouraging.

The same could not be said about Lan Wangji.  Once Su She got over his offense at being placed in a baby class for ethics and philosophy, he discovered that most of the little children were lively and friendly.  If Su She missed A-Huang, all he had to do was seek out his ethics classmates, and it was like having a crowd of little brothers and sisters basking in the attention that the older boy gave them.  The only one who did not join in this fun was Lan Wangji.  He preferred to sit at his desk in the corner and read.

“He’s always like that,” the other little children said, shrugging off Su She’s questions.  “He used to get a day off of lessons every month, and he wouldn’t even tell us why.  Now he comes all the time, but he doesn’t talk much any more.”

If Lan Wangji had been nothing more than a strangely quiet and solitary child, Su She would quickly have learned to ignore him the way the other children did.  But he was also a very good student, and the master was constantly calling on him to stand and correct any child in the class who answered a question incorrectly. 

Mother and Father had always said that anyone who found themselves in the terrible position of having to correct an elder should do so respectfully and apologetically.  Clearly, no one had taught Lan Wangji this lesson.  Correcting the other children, who were his own age, was one thing.  But Su She was older and taller than Lan Wangji, and he felt that he ought to be shown at least a little respect when he was corrected.  Lan Wangji corrected Su She in the same way that he corrected his peers.  When the master called on him, he stood up, looked straight ahead, and delivered the correct answer in a childish squeak that somehow managed to be ice cold.

But as irritating as it was to be corrected by Lan Wangji, Su She had to admit that it was not a completely ineffective educational method.  He loathed Lan Wangji’s corrections so much that he studied hard, hoping to get all of his answers right without having to be corrected.  He advanced quickly in his lessons, learning and reciting the rules of Lan as if he had been born to them.  Deep down, he was even meanly glad when some of his classmates started to ask him for help studying.  None of them had even considered asking Lan Wangji.

As Su She settled into life at Cloud Recesses and learned how to live in an isolated cultivation clan rather than a lively city, he began to relax a little bit.  Cloud Recesses was quieter than Moling, especially because there was a rule against making excessive noise.  But it was hardly silent, and Su She found that he was able to make friends.  He even began to enjoy living in a dormitory, as it meant that he did not have to say goodbye to his friends at the end of the day.

He shared a room with a boy his own age named Ren Aiguo, who had lived in Cloud Recesses for a few years.  Ren Aiguo was originally from Caiyi, and his father and his two older brothers still lived there.

“Mother died when I was five,” Ren Aiguo said.  “She was trying to have my baby sister, but . . . I don’t know.  Something happened, and she died.  A-die couldn’t afford to keep all of us after that, so he sent me here.”

“Do you ever see your father and your brothers?” Su She asked.

Ren Aiguo nodded.  “I go home for New Year and the Moon Festival,” he said.  “One of the masters takes me.  But soon I’ll be good enough at flying that I’ll be able to go myself.”

Su She had been worried about holidays.  He knew that Moling was too far away to visit often, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about spending special holidays in Cloud Recesses.  “Moling is farther away that Caiyi is,” he said.

Ren Aiguo thought about this for a moment.  “Maybe you could come to my family,” he suggested.  “I could write to A-die.  I’m sure he’d like you.”

That made Su She feel a little better, and he smiled.

Ren Aiguo was also good at explaining things about Cloud Recesses that none of the grownups would talk about.  He and Su She studied heraldry together, learning the names of Clan Leaders and their heirs.  They quizzed each other in the evenings during recreation time.

“Lanling,” Su She challenged.

“That’s the Jin Clan,” Ren Aiguo said.  “The Clan leader is Jin Guangshan, and the heir is . . . um . . . I know it begins with Zi, but there’s two of them, and they’re cousins or something.  Jin Zixun?”

Su She consulted his notes.  “He’s the older one, but he’s not the heir.  I think that’s Jin Zixuan.”

“Oh, yes.”  Ren Aiguo wrinkled his nose.  “I always get them mixed up.  My turn.  Um . . . Qishan.”

Su She didn’t have to think hard about that one.  “The Wen Clan,” he said.  “The Clan Leader is Wen Ruohan, and he’s also the Chief Cultivator.  His heir is Wen Xu.”

“Yes, that’s right.”  Ren Aiguo smiled.  “They come to visit every year, because His Excellency likes to inspect the Clans.”

“Will I get to meet him if he comes this year?” 

“Probably,” Ren Aiguo said.  “Everyone always lines up, so you’ll at least get to see him.  And he likes it when there’s demonstrations so he can see what kind of skills everyone has.  Last year, he made Wen Xu and Lan Xichen fight with swords.  Well, we were still calling him Lan Huan then.”

“What happened?”

Ren Aiguo sniffed in disdain.  “Wen Xu won.  He knocked Lan Huan – Lan Xichen – flat on his back.  But it wasn’t fair.  Wen Xu is bigger than Lan Xichen.  I bet he’s almost a grownup now.”

Su She thought about Lan Xichen being humiliated in front of the whole Lan Clan by a boy who was older, bigger, and stronger, and felt sorry for him.  At the same time, a mean little voice inside him suggested that he wouldn’t feel very sorry if the same thing happened to Lan Wangji.  He pushed that voice aside in favor of a different question.

“If we’re supposed to learn all the Clan Leaders, and if they visit each other . . . what happened to ours?  I’ve never seen our Clan Leader.  The Grand Master is only Acting Clan Leader, right?”

“He is.”  Ren Aiguo shrugged.  “I’ve never met our Clan Leader either.  He’s called Qingheng-Jun, but I don’t know his name.  He’s in seclusion because he did something bad, but I don’t know what.”

Su She didn’t know what to think about that.  So far, everyone at Cloud Recesses had emphasized how important it was to follow the rules and to be virtuous at all times.  On the very first page of the rule book that the baby ethics class was memorizing, he read, “Eradicate evil, establish laws, then goodness will be everlasting.”  The Lan Clan’s path to virtue was through following the rules.  Su She could not wrap his mind around the idea that, not only had a Lan done something so evil that he had to be secluded forever, but that Lan was the Clan Leader, of all people.

It was a strange idea, that someone from such a fine, noble family could commit crimes just like ordinary people from Moling.  Su She decided not to think about it too much for now.  But the thought made its way to the back of his head and rested there.  And every now and then, especially after he had been corrected in his recitation of the rules by Lan Wangji, Su She found himself returning to that thought, poking at it the way his tongue poked at the holes in his mouth when a baby tooth fell out.

Su She and Ren Aiguo got along so well that, when the Lantern Festival arrived, it seemed only natural that they would make a lantern together as a team.  Lan Yong took their group out to the river to make lanterns during the afternoon.  The little children went to a plateau some distance away, and the junior disciples and the younger grownups would gather in the same place later in the evening.  Lan Yong’s group had the area by the river all to themselves.  They carried paper, bamboo strips, brushes and colored inks, and spools of thread to bind everything together.  Lan Yong carried fuel boxes and would not let any of the children help with them, even Lan Xichen.

It was a hot day, and by the time they arrived at the river, even the most carefully-brought-up Lan-born children wanted desperately to cool off.  The Lan-born children looked longingly at the river, but it was Su She, Ren Aiguo, and the rest of the guest children who set their supplies down on the grass and begged Lan Yong to let them play in the water.

Lan Yong looked at the children, then at the lantern supplies, and then at the water.  “We’re not supposed to waste time,” he said.  “The masters said that we could come and make lanterns, and then we have to return in time for dinner.”

“Lan Yong,” Ren Aiguo begged.  “It’s so hot.  What if we make lanterns and then we all fall down and die on the way back because it’s so hot?”

“You won’t fall down and die,” Lan Yong said.  But even as he spoke, he could not stop staring at the tempting, sparkling river.

Su She wiped his forehead, glad for once that he did not have to wear a ribbon around his head.  “I’m all sweaty.  I don’t want to ruin my nice lantern paper by sweating all over it.”

“That’s true.”  Lan Yong walked over to the river, crouched down, and dipped his hand into the water.  “The current isn’t too strong here.  Do all of you know how to swim?”

Everyone could swim well enough, or could at least float.  Lan Yong looked at the river.  “This little curve beneath the willow tree,” he said.  “That’s the calmest place.  We can go wading there, but not for long.”

The children hurried to pull off their shoes, roll up their trouser legs, and tuck their robes into their belts.  Su She and Ren Aiguo led them into the water, which was deliciously cool.  Even Lan Yong followed them in, giggling as though he were their age and not a proper junior disciple.  Only Lan Xichen stayed on the riverbank, looking miserable.

“Lan Xichen, can’t you swim?” Su She asked.  “The water is really nice, and it’s shady underneath the willow.”

“I can swim.”  Lan Xichen looked as if he had eaten a rotten egg.

“Then come in the water.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Lan Xichen sighed.  “I have to set a good example for my brother.”

That brought Su She up short.  He knew all about that particular task; both Mother and Father had impressed upon him his duty to set a good example for A- Huang.  But this seemed strange, even in a cultivation clan with over three thousand rules.  The baby ethics class had not yet read all of them, though, so it was possible that there was something that Su She did not know.  “Is there a rule against wading on a hot day?” he asked. 

Lan Xichen gave a wan little smile.  “Do not wallow in luxury and pleasure,” he quoted.  “And also, be a filial child.  Uncle would say that wading in the river when we are meant to be making lanterns is a luxury, and he would forbid me to do it.  And I must obey him.”

Su She was sure that there was a gap in Lan Xichen’s logic, but he did not know enough about the inner Lan family to know where it was.  “Are you just going to sit there and watch us?” he asked.

Lan Xichen shrugged.  “I don’t mind,” he said, and Su She almost believed him.  “And I won’t tell Uncle about this.  I can’t go in, but maybe your parents would let you, so I should respect that.”  He looked unsure of his own chain of thought, but thrust his chin out decisively.

Lan Yong had been listening to the exchange from the water, while supervising a few of the less confident swimmers in the group.  Now he frowned at Lan Xichen.  “Won’t you at least move into the shade of the willow tree, Lan Xichen?” he asked.  “You’ll be more comfortable there, and it’ll be easier for me to keep an eye on you as well as the others.  That’s my job, and you must not hinder people from doing their jobs.  Particularly your elders.”

Su She smiled at that; Lan Yong was only a few years older than Lan Xichen, but he supposed that this did technically make Lan Yong the elder in the group.  Lan Xichen seemed to agree, for he got up and moved to sit under the willow tree.  He did not bother to disguise the look of relief on his face as he settled on the relatively cooler grass there.

Lan Yong allowed the children to play in the water for a little while, but he soon chivvied them out onto the river bank to begin their assigned activity of making lanterns.  Su She and Ren Aiguo worked together.  Ren Aiguo drew a funny monkey to decorate the lantern, while Su She built the frame out of bamboo.  All around them, children chatted quietly, laughing at each other’s drawings and helping each other bend bamboo into frames and attach the decorated panels of paper.

As the lanterns took shape, Lan Yong walked around the group, admiring the decorations and giving out fuel boxes to those children whose lanterns were nearly finished.  Attaching the fuel box to the lantern was always tricky, and both Su She and Ren Aiguo had to work together to do it.  But at last, they accomplished the task, and they sat back and admired their lantern, proud of their efforts.

Lan Xichen brought his lantern directly to Lan Yong for approval.  He had drawn a dragon on it.

“That is well done,” Lan Yong said.  “But the fuel box is not firmly attached.  It will fall off, and the lantern will sink and burn.”

“Oh.”  Lan Xichen frowned a little.  “How do I fix it?”

“Like this.” 

Lan Yong pointed out the weakness in the attachment point, and Lan Xichen struggled to follow his directions.

“Why doesn’t he partner with someone who’s better at doing that?” Su She asked.

Ren Aiguo looked around.  “I guess there’s not the right number of people,” he said.  “Lan Xichen doesn’t have a partner.”

For a moment, Su She was jealous of Lan Xichen, getting a whole lantern to himself.  But then he looked at the lantern that he and Ren Aiguo had made, and decided that sharing wasn’t so bad.  He could not have drawn such a funny monkey, and they had attached the fuel box together, without needing to ask Lan Yong for help.

“Is everyone ready?” Lan Yong asked.  The children held up their lanterns, and Lan Yong went around and lit them.

“What a charming monkey,” he said when he lit the lantern that Su She and Ren Aiguo had made.  “Be sure to make good wishes.  That monkey will carry them all the way up to heaven.”

Su She and Ren Aiguo waited until Lan Yong gave the signal, and then they launched their lantern into the air.  All around them, lanterns rose, drifting a little bit on the breeze.  The monkey briefly bumped into Lan Xichen’s dragon, but both lanterns floated away on their separate paths.

Ren Aiguo pressed his hands together under his chin.  “I wish to become better at swordsmanship,” he said.

Su She thought for a moment.  “I wish to learn enough to leave the baby classes,” he said out loud.  Inside his head, where nobody would know, he added, and I wish that I could learn enough that Lan Wangji won’t have to correct me, and I can be friends with Lan Xichen.

The children watched the lanterns float away until they could not see even the tiniest speck of white paper against the blue of the sky.  When the lanterns were gone, Lan Yong lined them up and marched them back to the living compound to resume their lessons.

As the summer cooled into autumn, Su She dutifully practiced his guqin, did exercises with his sword and his talismans, and worked at his classroom lessons.  He wrote a few letters to his family, and although the masters did not exactly encourage this practice, they sent the messages back to Moling whenever Su She did write.  Father did not write back, but Su She supposed that sending letters to Cloud Recesses was expensive.

Two interesting things happened to him that autumn.  The first was that Ren Aiguo received permission from both his father and Lan Qiren to bring Su She to his home for the Moon Festival.  His home was small, but his father and brothers welcomed Su She with broad smiles.  They ate moon cakes that were just as good as the ones in Moling, and Su She enjoyed the opportunity to laugh and roughhouse with the two older Ren brothers and to watch the lion dance in the streets of Caiyi.  He remembered to ask the Moon to keep his own family in good health, but he also relished the time that he spent with the Ren family.

A few weeks after the Moon Festival, a message came to Cloud Recesses.  The advanced talisman class was out practicing in a courtyard when it arrived, and they saw one of the older girls hurrying past carrying a scroll bound in red cord, with red tassels swaying from the black wooden spindles.  The other talisman students looked interested and a little apprehensive.

“That sort of scroll is used by the Wen Clan,” the talisman master explained to Su She.  “I suspect that it is an official notice from the Chief Cultivator.  And as such, it is not our business unless the Acting Clan Leader says it is.  Let us return to what we were doing.”

Sure enough, a short time later, Lan Qiren assembled the entire Clan in the largest courtyard of Cloud Recesses.  He announced that Wen Ruohan, Leader of the Wen Clan and the Chief Cultivator, would visit Cloud Recesses in a fortnight.  There would be demonstrations and tests of skill, and the Chief Cultivator would offer his own recommendations for improvements.  Ordinary lessons were suspended, and everyone was to spend the next fortnight preparing their exhibitions.

Chapter Text

4. Seeking The Sun

During the fortnight leading up the Chief Cultivator’s visit, Cloud Recesses came as close to being in a frenzy as Su She had seen.  None of the masters taught anything new in lessons, choosing instead to drill their students until they were perfect at the latest things they had been learning.  The sword masters worked the students hard and efficiently, sometimes pairing smaller students with larger students, which they rarely did.  Su She remembered the story that Ren Aiguo had told about Lan Xichen being made to duel Wen Xu, and he guessed that the sword master was training the whole class in case someone else was made to fight Wen Xu this year.

The heraldry lessons concentrated exclusively on the imagery and genealogy of the Wen Clan, and Su She soon came to feel as though he knew all of the Wen family intimately, even though he had never met them in person.  He threw talisman after talisman until his arms and shoulders ached.  Even the baby classes drilled.  They recited the Lan Clan rules over and over again until some of the littler students cried.  Lan Wangji did not cry, but Su She was amused one day when the master released the baby class for their break, and rather than run outside with the others, Lan Wangji simply laid his head on his desk and fell asleep.

The wardrobe mistress and her assistants picked over everyone’s clothes, making sure that they were mended and in good condition.  Dormitory rooms were tidied and inspected every day to ensure that they remained tidy.  Gardeners trimmed ornamental plants, and everyone had to get down on their knees and help scrub the wooden walkways.  They worked right up until the day that the Chief Cultivator was expected, but at last, Cloud Recesses was ready.

On the appointed day, Su She and Ren Aiguo dressed in their nicest uniforms and joined the other children in the welcoming pavilion.  The junior disciples were already there, waiting in neat ranks, and the seniors and the elders filed in after the children arrived.  The last to appear was the Acting Clan Leader, followed by Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji marching behind him.  Everyone was perfectly turned out.  There was nothing to do but wait.

Fortunately, they did not have to wait for long.  “The Chief Cultivator and his entourage!” one of the heralds announced.  Su She forced himself to stand still and not wiggle and crane his neck to get a better view.  A moment later, the Wen Clan appeared.

The Chief Cultivator, Wen Ruohan, was a tall, solidly built man with a thick, neatly trimmed mustache and intense eyes.  He regarded the neat ranks of the Lan Clan impassively, reserving any immediately judgements that he might be making.

His two sons trailed behind them.  Su She knew immediately who they were, from his heraldry lessons.  Wen Xu was tall and handsome, looking every bit the dashing and romantic Clan Heir.  He nodded politely to some of the junior Lan Clan girls, and they dropped their gazes to the ground and blushed.  The younger son, Wen Chao, seemed to be about the same age as Lan Yong.  He walked with his nose in the air, acting as though the Lan Clan were beneath him.  The three of them approached Lan Qiren, and Lan Qiren bowed politely.  Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji also bowed, though Su She noticed Lan Xichen eyeing Wen Xu warily.

Wen Ruohan returned their bows graciously.  “Acting Clan Leader Lan,” he said.  “How kind of you to have such a welcome for us.”

“It is our honor, Your Excellency,” Lan Qiren replied.

Wen Ruohan glanced around at the assembly.  “Once again, Qingheng-Jun is absent.  How does he fare?”

Lan Qiren’s face became even more unreadable.  “My brother still lives,” he said.  “As His Excellency is surely well aware, he has undertaken a lifetime of seclusion and repentance.  Even so, he sends his humblest greetings to His Excellency, and begs pardon that he is unable to appear in person.”

“Hm.”  Wen Ruohan looked unimpressed, almost as though he had been expecting exactly that response.  “Qingheng-Jun is known to be a man of his word, that is true.”

He turned around and walked along the ranks of Lan Clan cultivators.  Everyone stood straight and still under the Chief Cultivator’s inspection.  Wen Ruohan gave his grave attention to adults and children alike, and not a flicker of emotion showed on his face.  Su She bore up under his scrutiny, though he was glad when Wen Ruohan finally returned to face Lan Qiren.

“Impeccably turned out, as always,” he said.

Su She was sure that he did not imagine the soft sighs of relief rising around him.

“The Lan Clan always presents a polished surface,” Wen Ruohan went on.  “But what of its skill?  Have you been keeping your arts up to your usual high standards?”

That appeared to be a known cue.  The masters barked out orders, and the divisions of the Lan Clan turned sharply and marched out to the training fields.

If Su She had not known that the Chief Cultivator was judging every performance, noticing each mistake and imperfection, he might easily have enjoyed the rest of the day as a thrilling spectacle.  The senior cultivators performed first, showing sword forms in perfect unison and then shifting to individual duels that resembled intricate dances of blades and footwork.  Neither Su She nor any of the other children needed to be told to watch carefully and learn from this display.  Su She held his breath as he admired the flashing swords.  Even Lan Wangji, who was barely big enough to hold a practice sword, gazed with rapt attention.

When the prepared sword demonstration came to an end, the Lan seniors bowed.  Wen Ruohan nodded his acknowledgement and then called three of his largest, burliest cultivators onto the field.  He turned a challenging smile on Lan Qiren, who selected three of the most experienced Lan cultivators in return.  One of them was Su She’s own sword master.  Pair by pair, the Lan and Wen cultivators performed individual duels.

As skilled as the Lan swordsmen were, the Wen cultivators were taller and stronger.  The first two duels were hard-fought, but went to the Wens.  The Lan children’s sword master was the last to step up.  Su She found himself wiggling in his seat.  Ren Aiguo clutched his hand.  The sword master and the Wen cultivator bowed to each other and began to fight.  At first, the Wen cultivator beat the Lan sword master almost to the edge of the ring in a relentless onslaught.  But just as he was about to claim victory, the Lan sword master flipped over his head in a perfect, graceful arc, and the battle resumed.

Su She wanted to scream and cheer, but he held his tongue.  Ren Aiguo’s hand gripped his so tightly that he could feel his friend’s heart racing in his fingers.  The Lan sword master and the Wen cultivator fought back and forth, and at last the Lan sword master managed to put the Wen cultivator on his back.  Su She and Ren Aiguo and some of the other children could not hold back their cheers, and even some of the Lan seniors applauded politely, though they all stopped when Lan Qiren glanced sharply at them.

“That was still a good show,” Ren Aiguo whispered to Su She.  “We didn’t lose all three of the demonstration fights.”

Wen Ruohan smiled, slow and superior.  “Two of three fights to the Wen Clan,” he said.  “The Lan Clan is not without its weaknesses.”

He glanced at his two sons.  “In fact, I recall a particular weakness from last year.  Lan Qiren, shall we see our heirs in a re-match?”

Su She was immediately interested.  Lan Xichen’s eyes widened, and Su She was sure he was terrified, but he hid it well.

“That’s not fair,” Ren Aiguo whispered.  “Wen Xu is even bigger now than he was last year.”

But the duel was the Chief Cultivator’s wish, and there was nothing to be done.  Wen Xu took the field, tall and handsome, twirling his sword and winking at the crowd.  Lan Xichen followed him.  He was a year older than Su She.  But, facing Wen Xu, Lan Xichen looked much younger than his eleven years.  He did his best to look brave, even flashing a reassuring smile at Lan Wangji, who sat next to Lan Qiren.

The two Clan heirs faced each other, and the Chief Cultivator gave the signal to begin.  To his credit, Lan Xichen was smart enough to focus on speed and agility rather than strength, and it quickly became clear that he was a more intelligent fighter than Wen Xu.  But, in the end, Wen Xu was more than a head taller than Lan Xichen, and his strength was closer to that of a grown man than a little boy.  Lan Xichen fought bravely, but Wen Xu soon had him down.  For good measure, he rubbed Lan Xichen’s face in the dirt before letting him get up and bow politely in defeat.

The Wen Clan entourage cheered for Wen Xu, a display just as loud and vulgar as Su She had wanted to put on for the Lan sword master.  The Lan sword master had at least defeated an opponent who was evenly matched to him.  Surely everyone could see how unfair it had been to pit Lan Xichen against Wen Xu.  But not only did the Wen Clan continue to cheer, but neither Wen Ruohan nor Lan Qiren put a stop to it.  Meanwhile, Lan Xichen limped back to his seat next to Lan Qiren, looking very much as though he were trying not to cry.

Fury boiled up inside Su She, and he scrambled to his feet.

“What are you doing?” Ren Aiguo asked.  “You can’t just get up.  You have to stay in your place!”

Su She ignored him and hurried to find the talisman master.  He bowed deeply when he found him.

“The necessary is that way,” the talisman master said, waving his hand vaguely.

“I don’t have to go to the necessary,” Su She replied.  “I want to demonstrate talismans.”

That got the talisman master’s full attention.  “Right now?”

Su She nodded.  “I want to show them,” he said.  “Look what just happened to Lan Xichen, and they’re all laughing about it.  I want to show them that the children in the Lan Clan are good at something.  I can beat older students in talismans.  I know I can.  Let me show them, please!”

A thoughtful look spread over the talisman master’s face.  “To suggest a competition in the middle of an inspection is not usually done.  But you are one of the better students I have taught in my time.” 

He considered the question, and Su She waited impatiently, trying not to hop from foot to foot.  At last, the talisman master nodded.

“The Chief Cultivator should have the opportunity to see all of our Clan’s best assets.  Come with me, but do not say a word.”

Su She followed the talisman master to where Lan Qiren was conferring with Wen Ruohan.  They stood still and waited for Lan Qiren to acknowledge them.  When Lan Qiren nodded, the talisman master bowed low to the ground, and Su She copied him.

“A thousand apologies for the interruption,” the talisman master said.  “I have with me one of the Lan Clan’s talisman students.  I humbly request the opportunity to demonstrate this student’s skill for the enlightenment and entertainment of the Chief Cultivator.”

Lan Qiren looked a bit startled, as if he had completely forgotten that Su She – or, for that matter, talismans – existed.  Su She did his best to look humble but eager to present his skills to the Chief Cultivator.

Wen Ruohan looked Su She directly in the eye.  For a moment, Su She thought that Wen Ruohan was about to ask him a question.  But then the moment passed.  Wen Ruohan threw his head back and laughed, loud and long and cruel.

“Lan Qiren,” he said, still looking straight at Su She.  “What can you possibly mean by bringing this boy to my attention?  Talismans are simple tools, at best the weapons of a weak and cowardly man.  How could you believe that such a demonstration would be worth my time and attention?”

He waved his hand in Su She’s face.  “Bring this child back to me when he has accomplished something real, something worthy of a learned cultivator.  Show me another disciple who has mastered a true skill.”

Su She waited for Lan Qiren to say something.  After all, Su She was as much a Lan Clan student as any of the other children, and surely not to be disparaged like that.  Hadn’t old Master Wan and Lan Xiaosi specifically noticed his skill with talismans?  Master Wan had recommended him to the Lan Clan on that strength, and Lan Xiaosi had placed him in the most advanced talisman class.

But Lan Qiren said nothing.  He simply nodded to Wen Ruohan.  “Very well.  We will not demonstrate this skill.  Will Your Excellency witness a demonstration of scholarship or another martial art next?”

And with that, Su She was dismissed.  The talisman master patted him on the shoulder and sent him back to sit with Ren Aiguo.  Ren Aiguo at least had the grace to look sympathetic, even though he had no time to say anything, as three advanced juniors took the field with guqins to demonstrate their mastery of the Chord Assassination Technique.  The Wen Clan did not practice musical cultivation, so there was no contest to watch, simply a display of a skill that Su She had already seen many times, and that he knew he would be expected to learn in time.

For the final contest of the day, Wen Ruohan demanded that the second sons of the primary Clan families compete against each other.  Su She was sure that this would result in as much humiliation for Lan Wangji as Lan Xichen’s duel with Wen Xu had caused.  He could not imagine that a seven-year-old could have any skill worth comparing to a boy twice his age.  But once again, Lan Wangji surprised him.

Lan Qiren asked Wen Chao to compete against Lan Wangji in the tumbling skills that young cultivators learned in preparation for longer and more complicated aerial battle skills.  Wen Ruohan scoffed at first, claiming that Wen Chao was already mastering the jumps and spins required for aerial combat, and that he could even make short flights unassisted.

“I am sure he is mastering those skills, as is expected of one his age,” Lan Qiren said.  “And is his mastery not based on a deeper mastery of the fundamentals?”

Wen Ruohan harrumphed, but he sent Wen Chao onto the field with Lan Wangji anyway.  Lan Wangji gave his opponent only a single glance.

Wen Ruohan and Lan Qiren took it in turns to call out various tumbling and acrobatic skills, and Wen Chao and Lan Wangji performed them.  Su She watched with grudging interest; he had learned some tumbling from Master Wan, and Lan Xiaosi had placed him in a class with children only a little younger, saying that a year in that class would solidify his technique, and he would soon catch up to the expected standard.  This was a discipline that Su She felt he knew enough about to judge for himself.

Watching Wen Chao, he felt that he finally understood why Lan Xiaosi had placed him in the class with the younger children.  Wen Chao could certainly jump, and his aerial skills were impressive when he showed them off to warm up before the real competition began.  But Su She had learned enough to see that his form was sloppy and that he used far more energy than he needed to complete his moves in the air.  Competing basic tumbling against Lan Wangji revealed why Wen Chao’s form in the air was bad.

Lan Wangji was tiny, even for a seven-year-old, and he had not yet begun to learn flight skills.  But even confined to the ground, he rolled, flipped, kicked, and somersaulted with such elegance and precision that Wen Chao looked like a fluffy panda next to him.  He did not look to the left or to the right, and ended almost every skill perfectly balanced, with only a few wobbles.  When the demonstration finished, Wen Chao looked so angry that Su She could almost see steam coming out of his ears.  Lan Qiren and Wen Ruohan exchanged a silent but significant glance.  Finally, Wen Ruohan applauded Lan Wangji’s performance. 

The Wen Clan stayed at Cloud Recesses for a few more days, inspecting their training, admiring the ancient treasures stored in the library, and visiting classes to observe lessons.  Su She was made to stand up in the baby ethics class and recite Clan rules, and he showed his skills in mathematics along with his classmates.  Nothing more was said about talismans, and the Wen Clan did not even bother to observe that class.

In the days following the Chief Cultivator’s inspection, relatively little changed for the children of Cloud Recesses.  Lessons resumed, and the masters once again taught new material.  Su She had to admit that he preferred that to endless drill, even if it meant that he found new mistakes to make. 

What he did not appreciate was that the tumbling and acrobatics master now referred to Lan Wangji’s performance at the inspection as the standard that all of the students should strive top copy.  He even invited Lan Wangji to come to the class and demonstrate flips and cartwheels, even though the class was already starting to learn their first aerial spins.  Su She did his best to appreciate Lan Wangji’s very real skills politely, even though a tiny voice inside of him pointed out that he would certainly never be invited to demonstrate his talisman skills for any class that Lan Wangji might be in.

For a while, it seemed as though Lan Wangji could do no wrong in Cloud Recesses.  Even Lan Xichen looked openly proud of him, as though his little brother’s victory could erase the sting of his own defeat.  Lan Wangji himself did not seem to care very much.  He behaved much as he always had, performing tumbling exercises when asked, correcting other students in the ethics and philosophy classes in his cold little voice, and otherwise keeping largely to himself.

It was Su She who brought this reign of untouchable pride to an end, even though he did not mean to do it at the time.  It was the day of the full moon.  He woke up a little earlier than usual one morning and left his room so that Ren Aiguo could sleep a little longer.  Because he was outside so early, he caught a glimpse of Lan Wangji hurrying down a path that led away from the main living compound toward the back hills.  All of the children had been told that the back hills were dangerous, and that they should not go there alone or without adult permission.

Lan Wangji seemed very sure of himself and his destination.  Su She wondered where he was going, and why he was going alone, but he chose not to chase Lan Wangji down.  He guessed that this must be either a trusted errand or a trip with the unusual permission that the precious brother of the Clan Heir might be given.  Su She smiled to himself and thought nothing more of what he had seen until it was time for ethics and philosophy.

The master looked around the room, counting the children at their desks and frowning as he came up short.  Lan Wangji’s desk was empty.

“We are missing our littlest member,” the master said.  “Has anyone seen Lan Wangji?”

“I have.”  Su She raised his hand.  All of his little classmates turned and stared at him in shock.  “I saw him going along the path to the back hills this morning.  I thought he was on an errand.”

The master did not look pleased to hear this, but he nodded politely to Su She.  “Thank you, Su She,” he said.  “I must go and report this.  Please supervise the younger children while I am gone.”

He strode out of the classroom, leaving the children behind.  Shocked and a little pleased to be placed in a position of responsibility, even for a moment, Su She smiled.

At the break between classes, the children were summoned to the pavilion where discipline was administered.  Lan Wangji knelt on the floor, his eyes fixed on the ground.  Lan Yong stood next to him, holding a long, fearsome carved board.  Lan Qiren stood facing him, his hand holding Lan Xichen firmly by the shoulder.  Oddly enough, it was Lan Xichen rather than Lan Wangji who looked as though he had been crying.  Lan Qiren looked up as groups of children arrived.  When he was sure that he had everyone’s attention, he glared down at Lan Wangji.

“You have been told many times that you are not to visit that house any longer,” he said.  “I have scolded you, and I have administered moderate punishment, but you refuse to learn.  You know that you may not visit that house, but still you persist.”

Su She wondered what house was in the back hills, but he held his tongue.  He would have to ask Ren Aiguo later.

“Fortunately, you were seen in the act of disobedience,” Lan Qiren went on.  “You cannot deny that you have acted against my command.  Your punishment is fifty blows.”

Lan Xichen struggled in Lan Qiren’s grip.  “Uncle, please!” he cried.

Lan Qiren ignored him.  “Begin!”

Lan Yong took a deep breath.  He raised the board and began to hit Lan Wangji, over and over.  Lan Wangji’s body rocked with the force of the blows, and once or twice he let out a little squeak, but otherwise, he took his punishment bravely.  Though he did not mean to, Su She found himself fascinated by Lan Wangji’s behavior.  The corners of his mouth twitched a little.

Lan Xichen was the one who broke, tears of fury streaming down his face.  He squirmed and wriggled in distress, but Lan Qiren held him firmly in place.  Suddenly, without either boy intending it, Lan Xichen’s eyes met Su She’s.  Lan Xichen sucked in an angry breath.  Shocked, Su She realized that Lan Xichen knew who it was who had told the master where Lan Wangji had gone.

Lan Yong continued raining blows down on Lan Wangji, each one connecting with a dull thump against the tiny body.  Unable to do anything to save his brother, Lan Xichen glared at Su She with the full force of his anger.  Su She had no idea what Lan Wangji had done that was so terrible as to merit a punishment as forceful as this, but it did not matter.  In answering a perfectly innocent question, he had managed to forfeit the last shreds of his dream of becoming the close friend and right-hand man to the Lan Clan Heir.  He would live in obscurity at Cloud Recesses forever.

Chapter Text

Epilogue:  Survive And Flourish

“By the way,” Wen Xu said, with a breathtakingly rude insouciance that Su She would never be able to achieve if he practiced for ten thousand years, “aren’t you very powerful?”

Su She knelt shaking in the dirt, barely able to comprehend that the swords at his throat had been withdrawn.  Cold as always, Lan Wangji ignored the swords at his own throat, regarding Wen Xu with impassive disdain.  Su She wondered if some of that disdain might also be directed toward himself, considering what he had just said.  The air smelled of sweat, dirt, and blood.

Wen Xu nodded.  “Break one of his legs,” he said, as if ordering lunch at a tea house.

One of the Wen cultivators picked up his scabbard and swung it at Lan Wangji’s leg.  Su She heard the crack of bone and winced, but Lan Wangji only grunted a little as he collapsed to his knees.  There was a flurry of activity that Su She could not quite see.  Wen Xu laughed, low and long.  His cultivators hauled Lan Wangji to his feet and pulled him away.  Lan Wangji could barely move on his own, dragging his wounded leg, and he did not spare even a glance at Su She, whose life he had just saved.

Now that they had their prize, the Wen cultivators followed Wen Xu out of sight.  Su She remained on his hands and knees, gasping for breath as his body seized from shock.  An eerie silence fell.  No one emerged from the Cold Pond Cave.

After a moment, Su She was able to look around.  Corpses littered the ground – mostly Lan, but a few Wen bodies as well.  Ren Aiguo lay on his face not far away, the back of his clothes stained bright red where Wen Xu’s sword had shot through him.  The bodies of other friends and acquaintances lay nearby in pools of their own blood, their throats slit for no real reason other than Wen Xu’s anger and impatience.

Su She wondered what he was meant to do now.  In the distance, he heard the crackle of flames.  The Wen Clan had set Cloud Recesses on fire, and too many other people lay dead in the flames.  Lan Xiaosi was among them, killed as he tried to help a group of children escape from the dormitories.  The man had died a hero’s death, and part of Su She was glad that he had died without hearing what Su She had told Wen Xu.

It was the worst kind of betrayal – not only had Su She given away the secret of the Cold Pond Cave, as Wen Xu had asked, but he had also given up Lan Xichen and the cultivators who had gone to help him pack and carry the library away.  He had endangered the very people Lan Qiren had said were crucial to the survival of the Lan Clan.  Lan Qiren might be able to forgive Su She for giving up the secret of the cave, and possibly even for Lan Wangji’s rescue of him that had led to his injury and capture.  But he would never forgive the betrayal of Lan Xichen.

Lan Xichen and Su She had never become close friends, as Su She had hoped as a child.  But Su She liked to think that he had at least earned some of Lan Xichen’s trust, enough to be taken on night hunts to represent the Lan Clan to the outside world.  But he had now forfeited whatever trust he might have earned.  He had his life – thanks in part to Lan Wangji, of all people – but he had no idea whether or not he had a future.

Even if he did have a future, it was no longer with the Lan Clan.  Su She had no idea how many Lan Clan members were still alive, or what would happen to the Lan Clan when Wen Xu inevitably used the information that he had provided to track down Lan Xichen and cut his throat.  But whoever remained after the Wen Clan’s rampage abated would be unlikely to accept Su She.  For all intents and purposes, he had defected from the Lan Clan as soon as he had opened his mouth.

He pulled himself up to stand on shaking legs.  The first thing he did was to stumble over to Ren Aiguo’s body.  Ren Aiguo had been his first real friend in Cloud Recesses, his partner in lantern-making, sparring, study, and exploration.  Su She turned Ren Aiguo over onto his back.  He arranged his friend’s hands peacefully across his chest and closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said.  “I don’t know what came over me.  We should have gone to heaven together, but in that moment . . . in that moment, I was a coward.  I don’t know why.  You deserved so much better.”

There was no time for more.  Ren Aiguo deserved a full funeral, but someone else would have to arrange it.  At any moment, Lan Qiren and the inner disciples would emerge from the Cold Pond Cave, and they would know immediately who had given up their secrets.  Su She could not afford to be there when they did.  He picked up his sword and walked away.

He skirted the edges of the wards, not wishing to risk the fiery ruins of the main living compound that had been his home for so many years.  Eventually, he reached the main gate, where he saw the bloodied bodies of the guards, who had clearly been the first ones to fall to Wen Xu.  Su She took a deep breath and walked out of Cloud Recesses for the last time.

For lack of anything better to do, he followed the usual path down the mountain toward Caiyi.  He did not have much money on his person, but he thought that he had enough to acquire some food, and perhaps a donkey.  He could pay for more necessities by offering his sword for protection.

That still left him with the problem of where to go and what to do with himself.  As he walked, he found himself remembering his initial journey to Cloud Recesses, with his father and their rented donkey.  He supposed that he could always return to Moling.  He had lost touch with his family, but if his parents were still alive, he might stay with them for a while, and possibly even reunite with A-Huang.

Perhaps Master Wan was still alive as well.  It would be difficult to explain to him why Su She was no longer a member of the Lan Clan, but he began to frame a mostly truthful version of the story in his mind in which the death toll was much higher than it had been, and Su She had barely escaped the fighting with his life.

He was nearly confident that Master Wan would accept this story and welcome his former pupil back with open arms.  They might spend the rest of their days together, guarding Moling, and perhaps training any other promising children that the city might produce.  Su She might even find a pretty young lady, marry her, and have children of his own whom he could train as cultivators.

That thought stopped him in his tracks.  What he was thinking of now seemed to be less a dream of living a quiet life as an independent cultivator, and more the beginning of a plan to establish his own Clan.  He had to stop and sit down by the side of the path to let this new thought grow.

War was coming.  This seemed clear to him after seeing how thoroughly Wen Xu had mown through Cloud Recesses.  In fact, now that Su She thought about it, he was most likely a survivor of the first real battle of whatever this war would turn out to be.  His lessons at Cloud Recesses had included history, of course, and one of the things he had learned was that wars created both chaos and opportunity.  There was no reason that this one should not end with the birth of a new clan, especially after the devastation of Cloud Recesses.

The last time Su She had traveled this road, he had been a child, talented and full of potential, but only half-trained in the fundamentals of cultivation.  But now he was fully grown, an adult man and a cultivator in his own right.  With Master Wan and possibly A-Huang by his side, he could establish a Su Clan in Moling.  At first, the Clan would grow by taking in other cultivators orphaned by the loss of their Clans or families in the war.  But then Su She would marry and have his own Clan Heirs.  Perhaps A-Huang might marry and give him nephews and nieces to train.  Their emblem would be a phoenix, rising from the ashes of war and destruction.

Su She shook his head to clear it.  The idea of a Moling Su Clan was a wonderful dream, but it would not come true simply by sitting at the side of the path.  He got up, brushed off his clothes, and continued on his way to Caiyi.  At some point, he would have to acquire a new guqin – his had been crushed when a Wen cultivator stepped on it – and perhaps it was better to spend money on that rather than on a donkey.  After all, he had a sword, and he could fly on it.

It was not quite how he had pictured his return to Moling when he was ten years old.  He had not imagined the years of hard work, the humiliation of being surpassed by arrogant children like Lan Wangji, nor the equally humiliating revelations of war and his own lack of courage in the face of mortal danger.  But in the end, none of that really mattered.  Lan Wangji was brave and talented, but he was also a prisoner of the Wen Clan.  Su She was free, and he would return to Moling as a respectable cultivator.

War had come.  Su She might not necessarily be a hero, but it seemed that he was a survivor.  “Survive and flourish,” he told himself.  That would be the motto of the Su Clan, and it would be his unexpected legacy.

END