Work Text:
Buck sat on one of the couches in the station, his phone dangling between his fingers, Eddie next to him with his own phone, playing around. He was deep in thought, his gaze unfocused, when Chim stormed up the stairs, thunder clouding his face.
“You!”
Buck looked up in surprise when Chim stormed up to him. “What? What happened?”
“You knew she’s okay and didn’t tell me shit, you asshole! I have a babygirl at home that misses her mother, don’t know if she’s still alive because she won’t answer her phone, and you asshole don’t tell me where she is!”
Buck stood up, his hands raised in a placating manner. “Hey, I told you not to worry. And I don’t know where she is, she didn’t tell me.” “But you talked to her and didn’t think I should know that?”
Chim got progressively louder and Buck could see Bobby and Hen standing on the top of the stairs, unsure of what to do.
“She asked me not to tell you anything and she hasn’t talked to me since!”, Buck exclaimed, but Chim didn’t seem to hear him. “You are such an asshole! I haven’t slept properly in weeks because I don’t know where my girlfriend is and you, what? Do you have fun seeing me like this?” “What? Chim, no! I’m just as concerned as you are, but she’s my sister, what do you expect me to do?”
“I thought you are my friend! I expected you to tell me the truth!”, the smaller man screamed as he grabbed Buck’s shirt with two fists and pulled him closer.
For a few moments it was silent. Too silent. Buck was pretty sure that everyone downstairs had stopped working and was listening to their fight. It wasn’t really a fight from Buck’s side, but Chim seemed adamant to scream out his frustrations.
“Me too.”, he said calmly. Confusion flittered over Chim’s face and his grip loosened slightly. “What?”
“I thought you are my friend. I expected you to tell me the truth.” Buck just stared calmly as Chim let his arms drop and took a step back, as he furrowed his brows in confusion. “What are you talking about?” Slowly, the taller one stowed his phone, which he had been holding in his hand the entire time, in his front pocket, then burrowed his hands there as well.
“Maddie told you about me being a spare parts storage long before she told me. You avoided me, ran from me, and hid from me for days because she asked you not to tell me anything. In the end the few days more or less don’t matter, but I know, no matter what she told you she intended to do, had I not found the picture of Daniel she would have never told me anything. I told you that she was okay, because that’s what I know. I just wonder if you would have told me at some point or if you’d have ignored me forever, I guess.”
Buck looked at Chim for a few more heavy moments, then he passed him, Bobby, and Hen, and walked down the stairs. Halfway down he heard fast footsteps approaching the stairs from above and then Chim’s angry voice could be heard: “Are you fucking kidding me? These are two completely different circumstances! I was making myself sick because I was so concerned for her well-being! That’s a lot more important than not telling you something you didn’t know about anyway! In comparison, that secret was irrelevant!”
At the bottom of the stairs Buck turned around and looked up at Chimney, his face devoid of any emotion. “You don’t seem to listen. I didn’t know where she went. I told you everything I knew: That she’s okay Which she also told you herself. You just chose to not believe me nor her. You on the other hand decided to keep a secret directly related to me, about me, to yourself. I wondered for 28 years why my parents didn’t love me. Why they kept me when they obviously didn’t care about me. If they would even notice should I just disappear. I hurt myself on purpose time and time again, because that was the only time they would look at me with more than indifference or hate, even if it was just annoyance. I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts my whole life, wondering, wondering, wondering. So, tell me Howard, was the secret concerning me really that irrelevant? Or are you just so self-centered that you don’t care about anyone around you, as long as you get what you want?”
Silence spread throughout the fire station after his words. A glance at the clock told him that his shift was over, so he turned to the locker rooms.
“I’ll see you guys in three days. Bye.”