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Chapter Text

Yashiro Nene takes out apair of socks out of her backpack, turning around with the cellphone still close to her ear as she speaks with her mother through it. The girl neatly puts the piece of clothing inside a drawer. She sighs as she listens to the infinite lecture about starting a new life that her mother is currently giving her.

“…it’s going to be really hard now,” Yeah, okay. “I know you miss us, but you can’t give up just now,” Not thinking about it. “After all, you worked really hard to get this opportunity of going to this art college.” I know.

Nene hums, pretending to be listening to her mother as she picks up a little plastic bag containing food for her hamster, watching as he got excited for it. She smiled, putting the call on speaker and placing the phone on top of the table, as she opened up the tiny bag.

“–by the way, what happened to your boyfriend?” Her mother’s voice sounded, taking Nene’s attention. She stopped her action of dropping some of the bag’s food inside the cage to look to the phone in shock. Just the mention of him made her upset. A silence followed, as her mother waited for and answer and Nene thought about a way to go about the topic. The little hamster struggled in frustration of not getting his food.

“Amane? Well…” Nene sighed, finally giving the poor animal the attention he wanted. She dropped some food inside of the cage and watched blankly as he excitedly ate it. “He started college, too. He’s going to astronomy college.”

“Oh! That’s nice,” her mother cheered on the other side of the call. She smiled. Yeah. Very nice. He deserves to live happy and become what he wants. “I’m glad he’s pursuing his dreams. I know he’s quite passionate about these astronomy stuff. Where is his college? And why didn’t you tell me? This way we could’ve set you two up with an apartment.”

Nene frowned. Ah, guess I can’t run away from this topic forever. “Mom, we broke up.”

She practically screeched. “What?! Why?!”

“His college is in another state, mom,” she explained, annoyance clear in her tone. “There was no way it would work out. We’re still friends, though.”

“Aww, that’s so sad,” Nene didn’t even realize she got so distracted with the talking that she didn’t stop dropping food inside the cage. She desperately closes the little bag and puts it aside, watching as the animal stuffed his mouth with it. “So you two still talk regularly?”

“Yeah, but as friends now,” she explains, caressing the hamster’s little head. “He’s doing alright there, and I’ll be alright here, too. There’s nothing we could’ve done.”

“That’s true,” her mother agrees. “Also, has the girl arrived yet?

“Oh, not yet,” Nene answers, as she picks up the phone and sneaks to the door of her room, peeking her head out. “Who is she, by the way?”

“Ah, getting to know her is your job now as her roommate,” mother jokes, receiving na eye roll from Nene. But of course she would never know about it. “I’m kidding. She’s the daughter of a very good friend of mine.”

“So that’s what it is…”

“And you two so happened to go to colleges in the same city, so we decided it would be better for the bills if you two shared an apartment. I’m sorry, sweetheart, I know you probably wanted your privacy, or to share with your boyfriend–”

“Mom. It’s okay. I don’t mind,” Nene interrupts, tone firm. “And I already told you: there’s nothing to do about Amane. He’s living his life, and he’s my ex-boyfriend now.” She frowns. Wow. Saying it out loud hurts more than I thought it would.

Mother stays silent for some seconds, before sighing. “You’re right, Nene. I’m sorry. I’ll let you unpack now, okay? So call me when you’re all finished.”

“Okay, mom. Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Nene smiles as the call ends with a click.

She stared at the home screen. The wallpaper. Amane and her. He’s hugging her closely while holding up a peace sign for the picture, a big smile on his lips as the feeling of joy painted his features. She herself was there, too, smiling so brightly as she hugged the boy back.

Ah, damn, I gotta change the background or else I’m gonna start everyday depressed.

She sat on the bed while looking for another picture in her gallery.

Click.

The door opened, followed by the sound of baggage wheels coming inside the apartment and the door closing. It could only be her roommate: Akane Aoi.

Suddenly, she felt nervous and wasn’t sure why. As she heard the girl settle in her room, she quietly got up, standing in front of the big mirror, straightening every part of her casual dress and every strand of hair that wasn’t lined with the others.

Okay, Nene thought. I think I’m presentable.

She made her way to her roommate’s room, stopping just by the open door. She could hear clearly the sounds of clothing being placed around and was kind of scared of appearing in front of her.

Pull yourself together, Nene! Come on!

With one last deep sigh, she steps into the doorframe, her eyes widening at the sight of the girl. Deep blue hair tied into two round hairstyles, a styling she’d never seen before. A purple cap on top of her pretty head and some simple t-shirt and shorts, finished of by white socks – she assumed the pair of sneakers neatly put tinto the corner of the room were the finishing detail of her outfit.

Oh my God, she sucked in a breath. She’s absurdly beautiful!!!

“Umm…” she shyly called, immediately receiving a head turn from the pretty girl, whose confused big eyes turned into one of happiness when realizing who Nene was. She seems so excited to meet me…? “Hi…!” Nene waved, giggling awkwardly.

The pretty roommate waved back, smiling big. “Hi! I assume you’re Yashiro, right?”

Nene’s smile got impossibly wider. “Yes! But you can call me just Nene. You’re Akane-san?”

The slightest bit of pink tinted her porcelain cheeks as she moved her hands dismissively around. “Ah, no need for such formality! You can call me Aoi. After all, we’re roommates now!”

Ahhhh!!!!! She’s so nice!!!

Nene got flustered when Aoi stepped closer; grabbing her hand and gently guiding her to sit on her bed. Yashiro stared blankly at her – now so closely – pretty face, while she smiled sweetly. “Now, Nene, tell me more about you!”

Huh? “Oh, um… I don’t know… I’m starting art college next week… I have a hamster…”

For some reason, with this boring information, Aoi’s eyes sparkled with interest. She actually found that interesesting…? “Art college? That’s amazing! I think it suits you, Nene-chan! Also, did you bring your hamster to the apartment?”

Nene shyly smiled. “Ah, thank you, Aoi. Yes, he’s at my room… I’m glad you like the idea of a hamster living with us because I wouldn’t like to throw him away. He’s cute, you know?”

“Nooo, it’d be so cruel!” Aoi pouted. “Hamsters are cute.”

Nene smiled, enjoying talking to Akane. “And you, Aoi? Are you starting college, too?”

For some reason, Aoi’s smile faltered the slightest bit, but she kept her cheerful composure. “Ah, yeah, medicine.”

Nene’s eyes widened. “Oh, what?! I could tell you’re very smart, but–! I thought you’d like something like fashion since you’re so pretty!”

Aoi smiled and genuinely chuckled. But her next smile wasn’t a sweet one like the ones she just gave to Nene, this time it held some melancholy to it. “Yeah… I’d like to go to fashion college. It was my dream.”

Nene frowned. She didn’t like the idea of doing something you don’t truly want. She imagined herself doing something like architecture. Eww!

“Then… why are you going to medicine?”

Aoi’s expression fell for a fraction, but she quickly pulled herself back, smiling it off. “Oh, it’s nothing, Nene-chan~ my mother just wanted me to. But I think it could be fun! Thank you for worrying.”

Akane got up, standing in front of the still sat Yashiro, who stared at her with her frown still on her face. She processed the words Aoi just said to her:

‘Fashion college was my dream. But my mother just wanted me to go to medicine.’

This is so cruel. Why would a parent dictate their child’s future?

“Come on, Nene, let’s go to your room to see your hamster!” Aoi called, voice soft like nothing just happened. She grabbed Nene’s hands again and pulled her to her room.

But Yashiro couldn’t focus on the sight of her pretty roommate enchanted by a simple little creature like her hamster. Her mind was already full of Aoi.

I’m sorry you have to put up with this, Aoi, Nene thought. I’ll find a way to help you.

Chapter Text

Nene was very dedicated to getting to know Aoi. Considering there was still a week until Yashiro’s classes – and two until Akane’s –, the blue-haired girl decided to take Nene out to meet the city.

Aoi was, to say the least, a goddess. Just by the way she dressed for casual occasions, Nene could easily feel jealous. For today, she wore a pretty, light purple dress with delicate white socks and sandals, her hair on the same iconic hairstyle.

For this, Yashiro felt the urge to impress the girl – she herself wasn’t sure why. Probably because she already liked her very much. So, she tried her best to braid her hair in two and apply some makeup to match with her delicate white, long dress and boots.

First: the café.

“This place is so pretty,” Nene commented, her gaze studying every inch of the place. Aoi watched her friend’s curious expression with delight. “It looks expensive, though…”

“Oh, no. The price is good,” Aoi reassured, walking to a free table with two seats. “Don’t worry, though: I’ll pay!”

Nene’s cheeks were tinted with pink for some seconds, embarrassed by Aoi’s kindness. “Ah, it’s okay, Aoi. Thanks, but I’ll pay.”

[…]

“So, Nene-chan, what was your life like before moving to this city?”

As they waited her for their orders, they sat in front of each other and talked, the desire to know each other more growing.

Nene looked to the ceiling, recalling. “Aaahh… quite boring, I’d say. I went to school, hung out with my friends sometimes, and stayed at home with my hamster. That’s pretty much it.”

Aoi laughed. “Impossible. There must be something.”

“No, it was pretty much the same everyday. But what about you, Aoi?”

The blue-haired seemed thoughtful, humming under her breath. “Well, not many things to tell, either. I stayed most of the time at home, helping my mother.”

Nene frowned. She doesn’t seem very close to her mother… just by mentioning her, she seems tense…

They chatted about multiple topics: memorable days in their lives, food, movies and even animals. However, eventually the topic Nene feared the most came up: love.

“Sooo, Nene-chan,” Aoi called, smirking. “Are you dating? Or at least have someone in mind?”

Nene tried her best to not let her mood change too obvious. She smiled and giggled briefly. “Ah, no…”

If there was something Yashiro learned these two days she’d been friends with Akane, was that she is very perceptive. So it wasn’t shocking when she read right through Nene and her expression turned into a concerned one, a frown forming. “Oh, did something happen?”

Yashiro sighed. She felt extremely comfortable around the blue-haired, so she looked deep into her eyes with a serious expression before starting: “I… recently broke up.”

Aoi’s eyebrows grew closer in a sad expression. “Oh… I’m sorry for bringing it up…”

Nene smiled reassuringly. “No, no. I’m not bothered. It’s been some weeks for now… he went to another state to pursue his dream of astronomy.”

Aoi listened carefully, nodding encouragingly when Nene looked up from her lap to Akane to make sure she was listening. “Mhm.”

Nene seemed sorrowful, staring at the table while her finger drew circles on it. “When he passed the entry test, he was so happy about it… he hugged and kissed me so many times… I smiled and cried with him, pretending I was happy too, but, in truth… all I could think about was that I was going to lose him.”

Akane never for a second looked away from her friend. Eventually, her hand went under the table to rest carefully on top of Yashiro’s knee, in a comforting gesture, which was appreciated with a smile from her. “I’m selfish, I know. But… he didn’t seem that sad. I was destroyed, because the only person that’s ever liked me is going forever, but he saw it like an opportunity to achieve his dream first. I guess I’ll never understand…”

“No, Nene, you’re not selfish,” Aoi commented, voice soft like honey and expression serious. “It’s alright to feel that way. He was very important to you, so it’s only natural to fear when he’s going away. You supported him, so don’t feel guilty and selfish for wanting.”

Aoi was right. Absurdly right. Her words made Nene see her own side differently.

“Ah, Aoi, you’re… very good with words.”

Akane’s eyes widened, before she smiled gently and giggled. “You think so?”

“Yeah, absolutely!” Nene smiled, putting her hand on top of Aoi’s one, which was on top of her knee.  “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Right after, their orders came. They enjoyed the food while making small talks here and there, the air tranquil and soft between them.

Secondly: the manicure.

It was obvious that Aoi was someone who cared a lot for her appearance. Nene could easily tell from the lots of products that filled their shared bathroom’s sink, to the way she slowly styled her hair, careful to not let a single strand of her out of its right place. So Nene wasn’t shocked when Aoi told her she knew most of the manicures in the area and offered to take her to her personal favorite.

Aoi was telling Nene about na experience with a crazy guy that was very interested in her.

“Wait, he did what?!” Nene yelled, intrigued with Aoi’s story. The manicure sighed, stressed with her client’s excessive movements and talking.

Aoi laughed and nodded. “He bought me thousands of pastries just so I could get with him. Then, when I rejected him, he got so angry at me because he’d already spent a lot for the pastries.”

“Such an asshole! Buying stuff just so you could get with him?! It’s like he’s buying you!”

“I know, right? And even after that, he didn’t leave me alone. He still bought me all kinds of stuff. He probably thought they were the problem…”

“Wait, what? What did he buy?”

“A car.”

“What???”

The manicure’s free hand turned into a fist when Yashiro jumped in her seat to stare at Aoi in disbelief.

The third and last spot: the beach.

It was already approaching the evening, and the cold breeze and waves were refreshing on that hot day. They both took their shoes and socks off, feeling the sensation of the sand on their feet.

Nene almost cried in joy. “Ahhh, it’s been so long since I’ve been to the beach… last time I was a child!”

Aoi smiled. “Do you like it?”

Nene turned to her, quickly embracing her. “Are you kidding?! I love this!”

Aoi widened her eyes. It took her some seconds to process the gesture, but she eventually hugged back, smiling. So this is a hug… it’s been some time… I like it.

Nene broke the physical contact to run further into the beach. Aoi’s body seemed colder than the actual temperature with the loss.

They threw sand into one another, built castles, relaxed under the last rays of sun that still peeked through the horizon and played with the gentle waves.

Yashiro held her dress high, laughing as she kicked some water to her friend, who reciprocated the laugh and did the same. They played with each other until the laughter calmed down and they stared into one another, eventually breaking the contact to look into the cristaline water’s reflection and the breathtaking view of the sunset.

Eventually, Aoi broke the silence. “So, did you have any other love interest?”

Nene kicked some water into nothing. “…I liked a girl in my class when I was younger, but it wasn’t anything too special. We just shared some hugs and little cheesy letters to one another.”

Silence.

Then, it hit Nene: I just came out to her. Oh. My. God.

I have no idea what’s her opinion on that! What if she finds me a weirdo for liking girls and boys?!

No, but… Aoi is so nice, she would never, right?

Nene’s cheeks burned in embarrassment, as she put her hand on her mouth. She slowly turned around to look at Aoi’s reaction, meeting wide blue eyes and her two hands covering her mouth in surprise.

“You like girls?” Aoi muttered softly, not even blinking while waiting for an answer. Nene wanted to drown herself on the waves.

“Ah, I– umm–”

“Me too!” Aoi exclaimed, taking her hands off her face, revealing a big, bright smile as she came closer to Nene to hug her tightly. “I’m so happy I finally found someone like me!”

Nene was confused but hugged back. “Oh, um– you’ve never met someone who liked girls before?”

Aoi shook her head negatively. “No, I stayed with my mom almost my entire life. But I’m so happy.”

The sight of the blue-haired girl under the last rays of sunlight of the day, hair slightly disheveled from their games and breeze with that absolutely beautiful, shining smile was enough to make Nene’s heart beat faster.

She’s… so pretty…

But something was nagging Nene.

She seemed to have some struggles with her sexuality… does it have anything to do with her mother, perhaps?

Well, I don’t doubt it… she seemed like she didn’t respect her own daughter’s decisions, so what would she think about Aoi liking girls? Ahh, just by thinking of it makes me so sad… Aoi doesn’t deserve to live with someone who doesn’t respect and support her.

With that thought, Nene embraced her friend’s body tightly.

“Aoi, it seems that your life before here was very sad, considering you had to live with your mother most of the time,” Nene started, voice low since her lips were close to her ear. Aoi just listened in surprise. “But I promise I’ll try my best to make you happy, even the slightest bit, okay?”

When receiving no answer, Yashiro broke the contact to look at her friend’s face, fearing she might’ve said something wrong. However, she was met with the sight of a very sweet and genuine smile on Aoi’s lips.

“Thank you, Nene-chan.”

Chapter Text

Nene sat on Aoi’s bed, facing the wall, while the mentioned girl stood behind her friend, styling her hair carefully.

It was now a frequent event, almost a routine, to one of them stay in each other’s rooms. It was like they always had something to share and the desire to stay close.

In five days, they became best friends.

“Hey, Aoi, can I ask you something?” Nene heard the mentioned one hum behind her. “Well, I was thinking… at the manicure and the café, you told me quite a lot of stories of guys and people… were you popular at school?”

Aoi giggled. “Ah, well… I didn’t go frequently, but… yes, I was. Why? Are you jealous?”

She groaned. “Come on! Now you’re just trying to make me feel bad for only ever dating once.”

“But I’ve never dated.”

“What?! But you’re beautiful!” Aoi giggled at that.

“Aww, you always say this, Nene-chan,” Aoi smiled wide, stopping her movements with her hands to rest them on Nene’s shoulders, her face coming closer to her ears. “You’re beautiful, too.”

Nene felt her face burn. She’s… she’s a menace!!!

“A-Ahh, thanks, Aoi, but… seriously, you had no interest in nobody? Not a single person?”

Upon hearing this, Aoi stopped retreating to her previous position and froze in place, expression a little disappointed when noticing her tactics didn’t work on distracting Nene. Yashiro feared she’d said something wrong and looked to her side to meet her sorrowful gaze.

“I… liked someone. And it was starting to work, but… I wasn’t in a good moment, so it seemed like I pushed everyone away unintentionally. So, I felt like there was a lot of people around me, but at the same time… nobody was there.”

Nene was taken aback by Aoi’s melancholic tone. It was rare to see another emotion that’s not joy or calmness on Aoi’s demeanor. She opened her mouth to comfort her, but the girl put on her usual sweet smile and retreated to her previous position.

“Ah, sorry, I dragged the mood down, didn’t I?” Aoi apologized. “Won’t happen again.”

“No, Aoi,” Nene’s tone was firm as she turned around to stare deeply into her friend’s eyes.  “You know you can always talk to me, right? When you feel like telling someone something that’s bothering you, or crying… I’m here for you, okay?”

Aoi seemed surprised by her words, evidently by the way she stood frozen in place with her eyes wide open, but eventually she just giggled and smiled. “Aww, thank you, Nene-chan! I know I can rely on you. You too, okay?”

Nene frowned. This… is something, right?

But why does it seem like… she doesn’t really want to rely on me? On someone at all?

Akane Aoi, you’re difficult!

[…]

Nene returned to her room, giving the excuse that she needed to talk to her mother. Well, it was a partial truth, because, in fact, she needed advice from:

“Amane!” Nene quiet-shouted on the phone. “You’re alive!”

The boy hissed. “Wow, why would you shout like that? I’m wearing headphones, you know…”

Nene rolled her eyes. “Wow, is that really how you greet me after days of not contacting me? I got worried!”

Amane just shrugged. “I told you I was focusing on college, though. Some people gotta actually study, unlike others.”

“Can you shut up?!” Nene’s tone went up without noticing. She realized it would sound rude if Aoi heard her talking like this to, supposedly, her mom. So, she just covered her mouth for some seconds before starting again, voice a little above a whisper. “I need advice.”

“Of course you’d only call me with intentions.”

“Yugi Amane.”

“Okay, okay, I’m listening!” Nene knew he was throwing his hands up in the air in surrender, even though nobody could see it.  She hated how she still remembered his habits.  “What’s up?”

“So, there’s this girl…”

[…]

“So let me see if I understand,” Amane started after some seconds in silence, processing. “You want to get to know this Aoi better, but she seems very distant and not so eager to open up so easily, and you also feel like she’s constantly tense about pleasing you?”

“Yeah, it’s basically it,” Nene agreed. “She’s always cheerful, but when I get a little gap of her true feelings, she just smiles it off. It’s like she doesn’t want me to know what she truly feels. And today, when she said ‘won’t happen again’, I felt like I went back every single step I took to the beginning again.”

‘It seemed that I pushed everyone away.’

“I have a hypothesis,” Amane states. He’s actually talking like an astronomer!!  “With what you said about her mother… well, let’s consider that she’s really an asshole shitty parent.”

“…okay…”

“If that’s true and she spent most of her time with this human being, that obviously affected her, so that’s what I think it’s the ‘bad moment’ she mentioned for you now,” Amane reasons. “And maybe, I dunno… because of that moment she acted rudely to the person she liked, and they were an asshole with it, so she got traumatized. Or maybe her mother did something… I have no clue about that. But I’m positive she’s afraid of being too vulnerable and you using that against her somehow or she just doesn’t want to cause discord and arguments.”

Nene thinks about Amane’s reasoning. That would explain why she avoids these darker topics and gets uncomfortable with them…

“Well, maybe she’s just someone who needs time to open up,” Amane concludes. “Or maybe, just a thought, if you open up more about stuff she can relate to, she’ll go along. If what I said is true, then maybe you need to take the first step to make her see that it’s safe to be vulnerable around you, y’know?”

Stuff she can relate to? Maybe… about her mother?

But… is it really the right choice? There’s no way to know… I’m too afraid of doing something wrong and her closing up further…

“Wouldn’t I be making it about me instead of her?” Nene frets. “I thought about something like this, but I figured she’d probably help me out instead of going along…”

“Depends, I guess,” Amane seemed relaxed about it. “Maybe if you say something about your mom she’ll try to help you out by using herself as an example, then you can engage with it and ta-da, she’s venting!”

“I don’t know…”

“I think it’s worth a shot,” Amane concludes. “But you know better. Or maybe you just need to poke her until she spills it out.”

“I think this is even worse,” Nene states in a soft tone, laughing. “Thanks, Amane. I’m shocked you’re actually capable of rational thinking.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?!”

Nene laughs once again, and she can hear the faint sound of his laugh, too. Once calmed down, Nene asked: “How’s life now as a student of astronomy?”

She prayed he didn’t catch the undertone of hurt her voice held. Thankfully, he commented nothing. “It’s amazing! It feels like I’m living a dream! The classes are incredible, we even used a really good telescope!”

“Oh… that’s nice to hear!” Don’t you miss me?

“And you? How’s it been?”

“Ah, well, nothing new for now. My classes haven’t started yet, they start in two days.”

“Ah, that’s cool. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

Silence. Neither knew what to add. Nene wanted him to say in any way that he missed her, but that never came.

He doesn’t miss me at all, does he?

Frustrated, she sighs and decides to say something first to see his reaction. “…I miss you, y’know. You’re so far away.”

He stays silent, before sighing briefly. “I’ll try to visit my parents in July, so if you happen to be there, we can meet up.”

So, meeting up with me is not a priority? I feel like I meant nothing.

Am I being selfish?

‘Don’t feel guilty for wanting.’

Upon rehearing Aoi’s soft voice say those words, she suddenly didn’t feel so bad about herself again.

Maybe… maybe it really is okay.

Maybe I’ll be okay.

“I’ll… I’ll see. But I gotta sleep now, so… good night.”

“Good night, Yashiro.”

Amane calling Nene by her second name was the last straw. She felt the knot tying up inside her throat finally open up as hot tears flowed down her cheeks. She puts her hand on her face in shame, finding herself in need of some support. She bumps into the table which her hamster’s cage was on, and she instantly shot her head to the side to inspect it, watching as the animal hurried to hide behind a little structure there. She feels even worse.

Nene holds the table, trying to find balance again, as lots os tears run down her cheeks. She sobs quite loudly, and immediately retreats the hand from the table to put it on the other, both hands now on her mouth.

Shut up! Aoi can’t hear you, stupid!

But it was already too late; Aoi heard everything. She hears two knocks on the door, followed by a sweet voice calling: “Nene-chan, is everything alright there? I heard a bump and now a sob…”

Nene tried to open her mouth to reply, to reassure her, tell her everything is okay, but…

Wouldn’t she be doing exactly what Aoi’s doing?

Keeping a distance?

‘Maybe if you open up about something she can relate to, she’ll go along.’

Something she can relate to…

Well, Aoi never dated, much less a guy, as I discovered…

“I’m going in, okay?” the door opens slowly, as her face pokes out. Curious expression turning into a concerned one when she finds Nene at the corner of the room, leaning against the table.

And I know she has troubles with her mother, and maybe sexuality, too… so…

“What happened, Nene-chan? Did your mother say something?” Aoi stepped really close, holding her arms out to embrace Nene, who let herself be held.

It’s all or nothing now. I need to try.

“Yeah…” her voice wavered. “My mother, she… she discovered I like girls.”

She felt Aoi’s eyes widen, as her face was buried into her shoulder.

“And she… she thinks I’m gross now.”

I’m sorry, mom, but I need to get closer to her!

Chapter Text

Nene and Aoi were laid on top of Yashiro’s bed, the blue-haired keeping her in her arms. Nene cried her eyes out – she felt guilty for staining Aoi’s pretty pajamas and lying to her, that way Akane has a completely different idea of why Nene’s crying, but it works the same way. 

“I… I don’t know what to do,” Nene started, sobbing. Her voice sounded so weak that she felt tiny and vulnerable. “She called me… things that I… um…”

“It’s okay, you don’t need to tell me anything,” Aoi told her, voice sweet as honey, as her delicate fingers treaded through Nene’s long hair, fingers wandering through soft strands colored in white-ish that dissolved into light green. “I understand.”

That’s it!! I just have to keep it going… oh, God, I feel so terrible for lying, but… I really need to try everything in my power!

Nene’s big, glassy, deep red eyes stared into Aoi’s gentle, soft, purple ones. In this situation, being so close to her, made Nene realize the deep feelings hidden in those beautiful eyes – sorrow, empathy, anger… a hint of hope, even.

“You…” Nene started. She sobbed but didn’t break the eye contact for a second. “…understand?”

Aoi frowned, sighing. For a moment, Yashiro though Aoi saw right through her lie, but an angry or upset Akane never came.

Instead, a tear rolled down Akane Aoi’s porcelain cheek.

Nene almost gasped loudly but held her shock to herself. She felt her heart rate increase in anticipation and nervousness for the new scenery – discovering a vulnerable side of someone who built her walls up high around her heart was something that made Nene both scared and excited.

“Oh, no, Aoi, I’m sorry for making you sad–”

“It’s okay, I’m not sad, Nene-chan,” Aoi smiled, sniffing. She used her thumb to catch the stray tear right under her eye and prevent others from flowing down. “I… just remembered something now.”

Yashiro’s features softened. “What did you remember?”

Aoi opened her mouth to reply, but before a word could come out, she closed her mouth and reformulated her sentence, masking her emotions with a smile, like she always did. “Well, it’s nothing–”

“No, Aoi, it’s not nothing!” Nene was surprised by her own firm tone, as she sat up and grabbed Aoi’s hand with both of hers, staring deep into the blue-haired’s widened eyes. “You always d–dismiss your own feelings! I told you, you can rely on me, okay?!”

Silence.

Akane just stared silently at her best friend with widened eyes, but her expression then distorted into a frown. She seemed upset again.

“Okay,” Aoi sighed, sitting up. Now the two were face to face. “I’ll tell you.”

Nene’s heart pounded with excitement. Oh my God, will she finally…?

“Do you remember the person I told you I liked in school?”

Nene nodded eagerly, “Yes.”

“Well, it was a girl,” Aoi’s head hung down, almost like she was ashamed of herself. She sighed, still not sharing eye contact. “Mom would always yell at me to not have feelings for no one, much less a girl. When that happened, she got so desperate… I have no idea why. I think it has something to do with dad.”

Nene carefully let the words slip through her tongue, afraid of touching a wound still too fresh for Aoi. “What happened with your father?”

The blue-haired looked up, a small smile that would usually trick Nene now seemed more fake than ever. She fidgeted with a long, wavy strand of her blue hair, freed from the loose ponytail she wore. “That’s besides the point, isn’t it? We’re talking about you, Nene-chan.”

Fuck! So close! Nene thought.

“Not really, Aoi,” Nene frowned, taking Aoi’s warm hand. “I think it’s fair for you to open up, too. There isn’t a restriction of what to talk about or who talks.”

“You’re always so sweet,” Aoi giggled, but it held no real emotion to it. “But I’m serious, Nene. You were crying just now, and I want to make you feel better.”

“But if you talk about yourself, you can feel better with me!”

“Well, yes, but I’m not sad now. You are, so it’s fair to care for you.”

Ugh, she always pushes the topic to make it about me! Does she really hate talking about her past that much?

Is there really a way to make her open up?

Upon hearing no answer, Aoi continued, “So? What happened?”

There she is taking care of me again…

Well, at least I got something. It’s a step towards progress!

But now I gotta keep up with the story I made up…

Nene gulped the tying knot in her throat and blinked away the tears forming on her eyes. Not because of the words she’d say, but because of the thought of Amane not missing her for a second. Living his life like she never existed while she reminisces every second with him.

“Well, I…I told mom about that one person I liked when I was younger, remember? And she… she said it’s abnormal for a girl to like another girl. I-I got so scared…”

Aoi’s thumb caressed Yashiro’s hand. “I understand. But you do know it’s not wrong or abnormal, right? Love is beautiful, be it between girls, boys or a girl and a boy. Or anything else.”

Nene smiled warmly. “I know. It’s just… hard hearing it from your own parent.”

“I know. I heard it, too. But now that we have each other, Nene-chan, we can freely say that it’s completely normal and beautiful.”

Nene embraced her best friend tightly, who reciprocated immediately. “Thank you, Aoi.”

“It’s nothing.”

They stayed in each other’s warmth for some minutes, although it definitely felt like hours. The soothing sound of wind carrying the breeze outside and the soft little sounds the hamster made inside the cage made the moment even more comforting.

When they separated, both stared deeply into each other’s eyes, happy with the moment.

“But, umm, you didn’t even finish telling me about your mom and dad…”

“Nene-chan, why are you so eager to know about me?” Aoi giggled.

Nene pouted. “Well, because I’m your best friend! Besides, I feel that you have a lot of baggage to carry alone, so… I really want you to feel like you’re safe around me.”

Aoi’s eyes softened. “Thank you, Nene-chan. I do feel safe around you, it’s just… hard. I’ve been silent my entire life, so… it’s complicated for me. But I promise I’ll try, for you!”

Yashiro’s cheeks were painted with flaming red. “R–Really?”

“Yes, eventually. Today, it’s all about you, and I think you should rest.”

The girl almost groaned like a child, but just sighed in response. They chuckled to each other.

Aoi gets up from the bed and walks to the door, holding the doorknob before turning her head around to give one last glance at Nene before the night ends. She smiles.

“Goodnight, Nene-chan. If anything happens, go to my room.”

Nene smiles, too. “Goodnight! The same goes for you.”

But before the other could properly turn around and leave the room, Nene processes the words Aoi said to her in their moment.

‘Mom would always yell at me to not have feelings for no one, much less a girl.’

‘I think it has something to do with dad.’

Living in a family so broken like that must’ve taken a toll on her. Even though her words are still too superficial and vague, I can understand why she’s so concerned about letting her guard down…

Nene concluded that all Aoi needed was care, safety and respect.

All Akane Aoi needed was to feel what her own parents couldn’t give to her.

Love.

“I love you.”

The blue-haired’s expression turns into one of brief shock, making her freeze her actions and turn her head back, before her lips spread into a beautiful, genuine smile, eyes closing in joy. “I love you, too!”

That smile, one that reached her eyes, which glowed with true happiness. That smile was what made Nene feel that painting her mother as a terrible person worth it.

The door closes with a click, and the day officially ends.

Nene buries her head into the pillow.

Ughh, my heart feels so warm…

She felt optimistic that Aoi would eventually trust her enough to tell Nene everything.

Yashiro smiles to herself, I hope I made your burdens lighter, Aoi, even the slightest bit.

I’ll wait for you.

Chapter Text

Nene wakes up with a mix of feelings: both excitement and anxiety.

Excitement because her conversation with Aoi went well – at least as ‘well’ as it could, given the circumstances – and anxiety because her classes would start the following day.

She was so used to Kamome Academy’s weird yet comforting aura, being around her circle of classmates for a long period. But right now, the idea of being a high schooler no longer suiting her made her both anxious and looking forward to the new experience her college would bring.

Well, it was true Kamome Academy has always been seen like some sort os haunted place, given the number of supernatural rumors that came from there… Yashiro Nene would never admit to a single soul that the thought of trying the ‘Hanako-san’ rumor had once – okay, twice – crossed her mind.

But for now, she’d enjoy her last free day with Aoi.

[…]

Nene, now with a simple black dress and hair down like she usually wears, walks out of her room just to find her blue-haired friend sat on the big, dark blue sofa the living room, on a phone call with someone. Aoi, upon noticing Nene’s presence by the door frame, gives a sweet smile and waves a “good morning”, and the other quickly does the same.

Yashiro quietly walks to the sofa, sitting besides her best friend. She doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but the person on the other side of the line talks just too loudly.

“…I just can’t believe this psychopath found my college!” the person, seemingly a boy, yells out. Aoi only chuckes quietly. “And worse, this guy found out my class! And my schedules!”

“…ahaha, he’s just a good friend. He appreciates you, y’know.” she twirls a blue lock around her index finger.

“No, he doesn’t! Teru just wants someone to bother,” the boy speaks, tone softening as he spoke the next sentence: “I miss you, Ao-chan.”

Nene swears she’d succeeded in keeping herself composed, but just by Aoi’s surprised and curious expression, Nene realized she’d just turned her head absurdly fast when she heard the boy speak those words, confused, since she thought Aoi had absolutely no interest in guys.

Did I… miss something…?

Aoi, however, seemed entertained by Nene’s reaction, as she smirked. Yashiro apologized under her breath and stayed stiff with her fists politely posed on top of her thighs. I want to die. I seem like the psychopath, now.

“Well, yeah, Akane, I miss you, too. You’re my childhood friend,” Aoi seemed to put a lot of emphasis on the last word. Ouch! “But we’ll be fine. You’re following your own path.”

“Um, yes, but it’s not the same without you.”

Aoi sighed. “You’ll do just fine with Minamoto-san. He’s a great person. I remember when we still studied together, and he’d always look for you and get your point of view on stuff.”

The boy on the other side of the line sighed and agreed. “I guess you’re right. He’s… not too bad. But when I’m with him I can’t think straight, since he’s always surrounded by people. It’s annoying.”

Aoi hums mischievously. “It’s always been like that, huh. But he’s ever chosen to pay attention to you. Do you think it means something?”

Nene almost laughs when she heard the other boy stammer and gasp. “I– Of– Of course not! What do you mean by that?!”

“Nothing, nothing. Just stay close to him, he’s a good person, okay? I need to have breakfast right now, so, bye bye!”

“Bye, Ao-chan! Take care!”

And the call ends with a click.

They’re both silent, yet Nene wants to ask a lot. She looks to her side, staring at Aoi’s profile, noticing how her face was perfectly sculpted: deep ocean eyes, perfect nose bridge, porcelain cheeks… she’s truly a goddess.

Um… is this– is this a normal thought between best friends???

Before Nene could spiral around this thought longer, Aoi reciprocated the gaze. She smiled, “What’s on your mind?”

“Oh, um, I was just wondering who he was…”

“Why? Were you so jealous that you were eavesdropping, Nene-chan?”

“What? No!” Nene defends herself. “This guy just… talks too loudly! Even if I covered my ears, I’d still be able to hear him!”

“I know, I’m just teasing you,” Aoi pats Nene’s head playfully. “His name is Aoi Akane.  He used to be interested in me for a long time, but when I… came out… he was shocked at first but respected me. So, although he seems insistent, he’s a really good person, so we still keep in touch.”

Yashiro hums in understanding. “And do you know this guy he was talking about?”

“Yeah, his name is Minamoto Teru. He got close to Akane since they were both in the student council. But it’s kind of funny that he was always with Akane, and when he wasn’t, he was looking for him.”

“Ohhh, that’s interesting. I want to meet them one day,” Nene adds. “By the way, Aoi, do you want to hang out or do something today? It’s my last free day, my college starts tomorrow.”

Aoi’s eyes widened. “Oh, already? Wow, it really flew by fast, huh… well, I guess we could go on that one restaurant you liked for lunch, then hang out by the beach. What do you think?”

Nene excitedly nodded. “Yeah’ I’d love that!”

“Alright, then it’s settled.”

[…]

Nene is at her bed, killing time. Aoi went on another call with Akane, this time the boy was accompanied by Teru – as Nene could hear Aoi’s sweet voice calling him politely as ‘Minamoto-san’ periodically. She smiles. The three seem like an odd trio, but they seem to complement each other. Although this Akane guy seems a bit creepy…!

Yashiro giggles to herself as her phone vibrates on her hands, and the notification of a message pops on top of the bright screen: a message from Amane.

She immediately opens the chat, finding that, just like the previous ones, his response was less than five words. She’d sent him a picture of her hamster, saying that the little creature missed him, and Amane would just answer an “Aww”.

She wanted to scream. To grab him by the shirt and yell, ask to his face what his problem was and why was he avoiding her so much. Was he trying to move on? Was he trying to focus on his new life? Did he want to leave his past completely behind?

Now everything that boiled inside of her was anger. Anger and frustration.

She took a deep breath and quickly typed out, finger pressing hard against the digital keyboard:

Can we call?

Nene couldn’t even leave the messaging app. She just stared at the chat, waiting for his response as her heart was beating aggressively against her chest.

Two minutes later, the boy’s one-worded response came, boosting the fire inside of Nene’s heart:

Sure.

Nene furiously hit the call button, taking the cellphone to her ear as she heard the beeping.

“Hi,” the boy greeted. He sounded nervous, probably already knowing what was coming.

“Hi, Amane. I need to talk to you.”

“Um, yeah, what’s up?”

“You know what’s up,” she venomously accused. He said nothing. “You’ve been treating me like some kind of stranger since we broke up. What’s up with you?”

“No, Yashiro, that’s not it. I’m just too busy with college, and–”

“Cut the bullshit!” she straightened her torso, voice going high. The tension was intense. “You need to be honest with me. We’ve dated for years, so why the fuck are you calling me by the last name now? Just because we broke up, we don’t know each other anymore?”

Amane was silent. Not a single sound coming from the other side of the line. So, the girl took the opportunity to cry her heart out.

“You never message me first, and when I say I miss you, you never say it back. You answer everything with less than 5 words, I– what did I do to you?”

Silence. It made Nene even more furious. This idiot doesn’t even have the decency to apologize? He doesn’t care at all?

“Won’t you say anything? Did our relationship mean nothing to you? Did I mean absolutely nothing? –”

“I’m sorry.”

Nene’s eyebrows furrowed. That’s it?

Amane continued, his voice devoid of any teasing tone or cheerfulness it usually held, it was oddly serious and firm. “It’s my fault. When we broke up, you were destroyed. Then, when we moved cities, you still texted me and called me everyday, saying that you missed me every second… it was almost like you still wanted us to be a thing, you know? I… wanted you to let go. So, I started to be a little distant. Yes, I was an asshole, but I truly wanted the best for you.”

Nene was speechless. The amount of fury she felt suddenly dissipated in a second.

Amane took a deep breath. The breath he took seemed shaky.

“You didn’t mean nothing to me. You meant everything. Believe me, it hurt me to do this to you, too. But I thought that, even though I was being an idiot, it was working; you were talking less to me and spending more time with Aoi, and when we talked, you mostly talked about her.”

Yashiro still didn’t say a word. She didn’t dare let out a breath that would shatter the whole moment.

He was breathing heavily, trying to maintain his composure and not breakdown. “And for doing this to you, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. You were so vulnerable that I knew that if I talked to you, you’d just say it was okay and you just wanted to talk to me… you already said something similar when we fought once. Even so, I know it wasn’t right. I’m sorry, Nene, for hurting you.”

Silence.

Once again, Nene felt a mixture of emotions: remains of anger, sadness, happiness, relief… all at once washed over her as she held the hot tears in her eyes.

“It’s… it’s fine, I… I’m actually relieved that you didn’t actually think that our relationship meant nothing.”

“Of course I don’t, Nene. Once again, I’m so sorry for making you think that.”

She smiled. It all made sense now.

“It’s okay, Amane. I forgive you. Just… don’t do that again, okay? Yes, I can be very impulsive and sentimental, but I’m not stupid. I can think for myself, so, please, talk to me. I know it’s hard for you, but you gotta try.”

He chuckled. “Okay, I’ll try. Thank you for forgiving me. Can me start over?”

“Absolutely,” Nene agreed, as she relaxed back on the bed. “Well, you know your plan with Aoi?”

“Yeah?”

“I put it into action. Basically…”

[…]

The restaurant was amazing.

The food was delicious, and the place was beautiful as always. Aoi and Nene chatted a lot, the last telling the former about her conversation with Amane.

“…and he said that his intention was working,” Nene continued, as she seemed deep in thought, reminiscing the moment. “Since I started talking less to him. And… I started getting closer to you and… I talked a lot about you…”

As she talked, the words started dying out on her tongue. Aoi stared, silently, Nene’s gaze down on her plate. When she carefully looked up, she was graced with the beautiful scene of Aoi’s porcelain cheeks tinted with a shade of red ever-so gracious.

The blue-haired smiled. “Oh, do you, Nene-chan?”

“I-I suppose… but how can I not? You’re amazing, Aoi.”

The other’s smile widened, as she got up from her seat. She inclined her torso to lean against the table, hand carefully placed on its edge as to not touch any of the food, while the other traveled forward to meet Nene’s face. Aoi’s slender fingers caressed her best friend’s cheek softly, then taking a long strand of hair to the back of Nene’s ear.

“You’re truly amazing, Nene.”

Aoi then took advantage of her current position to get some more spoons of the pan, taking it to her plate, then sitting down and enjoying the meal normally. Nene, however, was found in the completely opposite condition – her face burned, and her heart rate was going crazy.

This girl… she’ll eventually kill me, I swear!!!

[…]

“Nene-chan, look, the sunset!”

The girls were both enjoying the last hours of their day on the beach, like they planned. The very same beach they shared their first hug, and deepest secret – at least, that was Aoi’s deepest secret.

Nene held her hat in place as she felt the wind pick up. She was side by side with Aoi. For some reason, even though the waves hitting her ankles and the air were cold, she felt the core of her body warming when she took a glance at Aoi’s godly figure beneath the sun’s rays.

Nene doesn’t know for how long she’s been staring. She doesn’t even notice the time pass. She doesn’t care if it’s right or wrong, if it’s normal or weird – there’s nothing more important than the two of them right now.

She only wakes up from her trance when Aoi’s deep, blue ocean eyes stare deep into her pink ones. A moment pass, then another one.

“Nene-chan, as a college student, your schedule will be really full, right?”

Nene takes a few seconds to digest the question. “Ah, yes. I’ll go at 6, return at, like, 18.”

Aoi’s smile was indecipherable. “Won’t you come back to have lunch?”

“I’m still not sure, Aoi, but it’s probable that I won’t,” Nene, in a second of impulsiveness, takes the girl’s hand into hers and interlocks their fingers. “I’m sorry.”

Aoi seems pleased by her action, as she scoops closer. “It’s okay. Text me, though.”

“Of course.”

They stay in silence, enjoying the view and serenity of the sounds the waves produced. Nene felt hot, even though it was really cold. Every fiber of her body warmed by the closeness and contact of their hands. It’s so weird. I don’t understand.

This is familiar…

Aoi sighs and, once again, takes her gaze to search for her best friend’s.

Have I… felt like this before?

Nene tires her gaze from the sunset the instant she feels a pair of eyes on her. She stares curiously as the girl furrows her eyebrows deep into thought, meaning to ask something.

“I’m happy for you. But… I’ll miss you. Can I do something before we go back?”

Her heart aggressively beat, as if yelling: please, just take this poor girl’s heart into your hands!

I had a best friend before for years, and I’ve never felt like this with her. Is this… normal?

“Of course, Aoi. What is it?”

The blue-haired squeezes her hand and moves her body to stand in front of her, and Nene does the same, anticipation burning. Their hands still interlocked.

Oh. I get it now. I felt this before. Back on the school days. But with no best friend…

Akane Aoi moves closer, the sound of her ankles pushing the water not making anything to calm Nene’s heart. They still stare into each other’s mesmerizing eyes, as Aoi still seems a little too hesitant.

But before Nene could consider taking the first step, the blue-haired finally takes courage and leans forward, her soft lips coming in contact with Nene’s cheek briefly.

Her heart was still beating hard, but something sank.

It’s disappointment. But now, Nene remembers:

I felt this feeling…

…when I was in love.

Chapter Text

Nene wakes up to the sound of the alarm, indicating it was currently 5 am.

It finally came: the first day at college.

She gets up in a second, body still sluggish and vision blurred after the sudden movement.

She was excited. So excited.

[…]

After an hour of getting dressed and putting makeup on, Nene finally takes some time to have breakfast. The poorly fried egg wasn’t the best, but it was okay – eating peacefully so early in the morning was a serene moment she wasn’t so familiar with.

Nene couldn’t help but imagine how it would be; would the other students be friendly? Would the teachers be good? Would the school be pretty? Would she be able to make friends right away?

Distracted by her own thoughts, she didn’t even realize she’d stopped eating at some point – fork frozen between her fingers as she stared deeply into nothing. Nene quickly pulled herself together and, before she could even get the plate back to the sink, a familiar blue-haired head peeks from behind the wall on the corridor.

“Good morning,” Aoi greets, voice still full of sleep and eyes droopy. She reveals herself, coming out to step closer to the girl. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m nervous,” Nene laughs awkwardly. “But I think I’ll be alright.”

Aoi stared, eyes still soft from the sleep. Her expression was unreadable, but Nene just knew that Aoi wanted to hear something.

‘I’m happy for you. But… I’ll miss you.’

Maybe… that’s what she wants to hear?

“Aoi,” Nene took the flash of courage that went through her instantly, stepping closer to the girl, who only stared back. “I’ll miss you.”

The blue-haired’s eyes widened, but soon a sweet, genuine smile graced her pretty lips. She embraced Nene tightly, an act that seemed to be Aoi’s favorite form of affection.

With her lips next to Nene’s ear, she whispers, “I’ll miss you, too.”

Nene freezes, as she feels every fiber of her body jolt in surprise. She suddenly feels very aware of Aoi’s warmth, her hands interlocked behind Nene’s back and the heat of her face next to her neck.

Nene hugs her back, with the same tightness.

“Promise to call me when you can, and come back as soon as possible?” Aoi asks.

“Of course.” and Nene promises.

[…]

It’s a long way to get to the campus.

Nene takes three buses and walks ten more minutes to finally get to her destination, but she finds the process to be quite relaxing.

When Nene gets inside, the first thing she notices is the large group of people here and there. She gulps, nervously walking through them to find a paper that would indicate where her class is. When she finally finds – after bumping into thousands of people – she inspects it carefully, searching for her name.

Yashiro Nene – Class B, First Year.

Okay, I just need to know where class B is, and I’ll finally–

“Ouch!”

Yashiro Nene just bumped into someone again, so hard that the person fell.

“Ah, I’m sorry!” Nene quickly bends down, expression desperate. “Are you hurt? I’m really, really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” the light-haired with two braids and a pair of red glasses in front of her round, blue eyes reassured Nene, taking her hand and getting on her feet. “Are you new here? I haven’t seen you before.”

“Ah, yes, it’s my first year,” Nene admits, smiling nervously. “I’m trying to find my class. It’s B, you know where it is?”

“I do,” the girl smiles. “I’m Shijima Mei. What’s your name?”

“I’m Yashiro Nene,” she smiles, following the girl upstairs. “Nice to meet you and thanks for the help, Shijima-san.”

“It’s nothing. Here, it’s this one,” Mei stops in front a big, illuminated classroom. “Hope to see you around.”

“Thanks!” Nene smiles brightly. “I assume you’re a veteran, right?”

“Yeah, it’s my third year here,” Mei informs, smiling a little. “It feels like I just got in… I remember my first year, too. It’ll be amazing, Yashiro-san.”

“I hope so,” Nene waves bye to the veteran, who was already walking back to her class. “Bye, Shijima-san! See you around!”

“See you, Yashiro-san. If you need anything, my class is just around the corner.”

[…]

After some time, the room starts to fill with the students. Nene feels anxious with every second that passes by, and every stare she gets.

Suddenly, all she wishes for at the moment is Aoi’s calming presence.

“Hey,” a girl with dark hair approaches her, with a friend behind. Nene doesn’t have a good feeling about their intentions, and she always trusted her gut.

“Hello,” she politely greets.

“What’s your name? Your hair is so pretty and long, I like the degrade,” the dark-haired intrusively grabs a lock, her fingers threading through Nene’s strands.

“Umm,” Yashiro calmly pushes her hand away, uncomfortable. “I’m Yashiro Nene. And thanks. It’s natural.”

“Yashiro Nene? What a pretty name,” the girl turns to her friend, who had short, light brown hair. “Can you believe it’s natural? I wish my hair was as pretty as hers.”

Nene noticed their attention was up and down on her, almost as if they were looking for more reasons to compliment her. Of course, she loved being complimented, but the dialogue felt mechanical and nothing spontaneous.

Suddenly, the short-haired asked what Nene feared the most.

“Hey, what’s with your ankles?”

Yashiro gulped.

“O–Oh, what about them? You mean my long boots?”

“No, they’re so… thick. Is it natural, too?”

Nene felt like tearing up.

“Hey, I don’t think that’s something you ask…” the black-haired advised.

“What? It’s just a question.”

Yashiro just stared at both of them, brows furrowed. The two girls stared at her, waiting for her answer.

Really? Are they stupid?

“…yes, it’s natural.”

“Wow, now that’s hard to believe.”

“Hey, stop it, now. I don’t think she’s comfortable,” the dark-haired says, as the other scoffed. She turned back to Nene and smiled nervously. “Nice to meet you, welcome.”

Nene hung her head low, staring at her desk, holding back her tears.

[…]

It was finally the end of the day.

It was 18:00, yet it felt like midnight, considering how tired Yashiro felt. She became friends with a group of two girls and a guy and had lunch with them. It was only her first day, yet she had a tour around the campus, did three whole projects and already had several classes with lots of content to study. Exhaustion was an understatement.

Then, it was while she took the second and last bus to her apartment, that it hit her:

I didn’t call Aoi.

Nene desperately opens up her chat with Aoi, noticing the amount of messages sent to her.

Aoi had sent 19 messages.

Oh God, I’m the worst…

[08:12] Akane Aoi: Hey, Nene-chan~~ enjoying there? I hope you have a wonderful day ;)

[08:12] Akane Aoi: Miss you alreadyyyy~~

Nene cracks a smile. That’s so Aoi.

[09:23] Akane Aoi: Nene-chan, is everything alright there?

[09:24] Akane Aoi: Don’t forget to take breaks and eat properly! See you~

[10:43] Akane Aoi: Hey, gorgeous, do you know if you’re going to have lunch here?

[10:43] Akane Aoi: With me? ;)

Nene feels heat paint her cheeks with red. ‘Gorgeous’? Oh my God. This girl…

Ah, I feel so bad for not responding her…

[11:25] Akane Aoi: :(

[11:25] Akane Aoi: It’s okay, you must be busy. Don’t worry, have a good day~~

Nene swears she feels her heart break in thousands of pieces.

[12:32] Akane Aoi: Hey, Nene-chan, I just had lasagna for lunch!!

[12:32] Akane Aoi: What did you have? Don’t forget to eat properly, okay?

[12:36] Akane Aoi: Love you <3

I love you too, Aoi, Nene guiltily thinks. I’m sorry.

[14:21] Akane Aoi: I miss youuu…

[16:01] Akane Aoi: Hey, Nene-chan…

[16:02] Akane Aoi: My mother is coming over :(

… what?

Oh no. No, no, no…

I… I wasn’t there for her. Oh, no, this is so bad…

[16:02] Akane Aoi: I’m so nervous, that’s why I’m typing all of this haha

[16:03] Akane Aoi: She’s here. Oh, my goodness, wish me luck!!

[17:02] Akane Aoi: …

[17:02] Akane Aoi: Please, come as soon as possible.

[17:03] Akane Aoi: I love you, Nene-chan

The bus makes the sound that indicates the arrival at their destination. Nene instantly gets up, messily hanging her bag on her right arm, hurrying her way to her apartment.

Please, stay safe, Aoi.

[…]

When Yashiro Nene enters the apartment, the first thing she notices is a heated argument.

A mature, deep female voice harshly talking back to Aoi’s unusually high, irritated tone.

Nene quietly walks to Aoi’s room, dropping her bag on top of a chair and sneaking from behind the opening of the semi-closed door.

Her eyes catch the sight of a tall, slender blue-haired woman, with casual clothes and a ponytail, whose hands movement were intense, to match her tone of voice. She could see only a part of Aoi’s face, hidden by the shadow provided by the room’s lighting, taking the sight of her eyes full of rage and tears.

“– I just don’t understand, mom, why do you want to stop me from loving?!” Aoi basically shouts. “What’s wrong with loving someone, even if it’s another girl?!”

“It’s absurd, Aoi, listen to your mother for once!” the woman shouts, too. “Do you really think that loving a another woman is acceptable? Us, women, are supposed to marry a man, isn’t it obvious?”

“Even if this man is absolutely despicable and hurts his own family?” Aoi venomously asks. “And is it wrong to be with to another woman, even if she provides happiness for her family?”

Silence.

Yashiro’s eyes widened in surprise of Aoi’s accusations. She didn’t mention anyone specific, but it was obvious who she was referring to.

Her father.

Chapter Text

Slap!

The mother had just slapped her own daughter across the face.

“Listen to me, Aoi,” the woman sat in front of her daughter, who was still shocked from the previous action and with her hand touching the reddened cheek. “When it happened to me, when I mistakenly liked another woman… my family was disgusted of me. But then, they found a solution, which was your father. He’s despicable, disgusting, horrible. But it’s okay, because he made what I felt for that woman disappear.”

“Mom,” Aoi’s tone was full of melancholy. “It disappeared because it was replaced by fear, fear of loving, fear of other people and relationships. Can’t you see that?”

“You don’t know anything, Aoi,” The mother gets up. “When you get older, you’ll understand. And don’t you dare get too close to Yashiro. I let you two live together because it was easier, and her mother is still a dear friend of mine, but don’t you ever think I’m dumb.”

“What?! Why? Now you want to rule who I talk to?!” Aoi gets up too, tone rising.

“Do you think I’m stupid? You came up with this topic of… liking girls all of the sudden again. I’m telling you, when I liked her mother back then, I–”

Silence. Nene froze on the door, and Aoi had a similar reaction: shock was written all over her soft features.

“I don’t know why, but once I told her. She always liked boys, she was always normal, and I wished I was like her back then. She said it was okay. Can you believe something like that? Even to this day, she says her daughter is something weird like I was, too. And she’s okay with that, how absurd. I believe the nonsense is on the blood of the Yashiro family.”

Before Nene could process the information, the woman turned to the door to leave and found Nene’s figure standing there. “Hey, what are you doing there?! Ah, I swear, the Yashiro’s don’t fucking know how to be polite…”

Aoi stares at her, eyes filling with surprise and excitement. The mother walks past her and exits the apartment with a bang of the door.

“Nene-chan!” Aoi runs over to Nene, hugging her tightly. “I was so worried! I’m sorry you had to come home to… all of this.”

“It’s okay,” Nene reassures, but the air is tense. “I’m… shocked.”

“I am, too,” Aoi laughs nervously. “But, hey… didn’t you say your mother was always reprimanding with your sexuality?”

Nene froze. Oh… that’s right. I lied.

“Ah– umm…” Nene nervously broke the eye contact. “Aoi, umm, don’t get mad, okay?”

“Did you lie?”

Nene takes a deep breath, and her eyes go up to meet the furrowed expression on Aoi’s face.

“Yes.” She admits. “I’m sorry.”

Aoi frowned. Nene feels a pang of guilty, extending her hand to grab Aoi’s, but hesitates when realizes that maybe she might be furious at her – but the next second, the blue-haired grabs Nene’s hand instead, interlocking their fingers and stares deeply into Yashiro’s bright, crimson eyes, but her lips didn’t shape in that fake smile she always uses – but neither did she show a genuine one. There was only a trace of an emotion Nene couldn’t figure out.

As always, she couldn’t understand Aoi’s thoughts. Then, a simple, direct question escapes Aoi’s lips in a soft tone, but the absence of sadness, anger, disappointment or anything at all made Nene even more nervous.

“Why?”

Nene stared. Then, she sighed in defeat.

“I… wanted to get closer to you. Even though we’re best friends, we spend most of our time together and we usually sleep in each other’s rooms, I still can’t seem to comprehend you fully, Aoi. I talked to Amane about it, and he suggested using a topic you’re familiar with to make and opportunity for you to open up. I know it’s not right, but… I really didn’t want to upset you.”

Aoi was silent. Like always, Nene couldn’t read her expression: was she mad? Sad? Disappointed? The fact that Yashiro couldn’t point it made her mind scream.

After what felt like an eternity of thick silence, Aoi finally parted her lips, but nothing came. She closed it again and looked up from their interlocked hands to stare deeply into her best friend’s round, crimson eyes, a smile drawing on her lips.

“Awww, did you really go that far for me?” The blue-haired giggled. Yashiro was still alert, not knowing if it was genuine. “Thank you, Nene-chan. But please… don’t do this anymore. If you want something, just ask.”

“But Aoi… you’re always so closed. I already told you multiple times to rely on me, but you never do…! What would make me think that if I asked you directly, you would do it?”

The words slipped through her lips; Nene couldn’t even filter if her words or tone were being too harsh, emotions building through every cell of her body. She needed to know. Needed to finally get this uncertainty out of her chest.

But Aoi didn’t match her frantic state. While Yashiro’s tone went up, the other was silent. And Yashiro hated it. She liked when Aoi would give those genuine smiles, the ones that would reach her beautiful eyes; she liked when she would hug her so warmly like she never hugged anyone.

And she liked when Aoi would kiss her on the cheek and give her that warm feeling that’d spread over her body.

She didn’t fully understand what her feelings were; but she knew that, before anything else, she wanted Aoi to be happy. And she wanted to comprehend the girl.

But what Nene didn’t expect was the scene of Aoi’s purple-ish eyes full of tears threatening to fall, along with a hurt expression.

Akane Aoi then said,

“But I would do anything you’d ask me to.”

Nene’s eyes widened. She stared at her best friend like nothing else was happening right now; like the birds weren’t singing away, the cars buzzing, the orange rays of the afternoon illuminating Aoi’s porcelain-like face as the sun descended further every second.

Nothing mattered at that moment. Only her.

The tone of Nene’s next murmur was like the breeze, rolling away from her tongue so smoothly without her mind even questioning, “Why?”

She only smiled. And it was genuine. It wasn’t sad or forced, it was just the manifestation of Aoi’s true self. Finally.

“Because it’s you,” Aoi stepped even closer to the other, fingers still joined. In normal circumstances, Nene would be red from the closeness, considering the utter respect and admiration she had for the other, but now… the moment was soft, and both the girls’ hearts thrived with anticipation, anxiously waiting for the next second. “If you really want to know, Nene, then I’ll tell you.”

Yashiro blinked. Once, then twice. She didn’t dare slip a word that’d ruin the moment. Aoi sighed, but the soft expression didn’t leave her features. For the first time, she didn’t feel upset and uncomfortable when talking about her past. “My father was abusive. He used to beat on my mom and me, prohibited us from going out of the house, and even brought other women home. He was terrible, but when I asked my mother why we couldn’t leave, she said that it was the best for us, that it was better than ‘before’. I never understood, but, after today, it kind of makes sense, huh?”

Nene didn’t say a word. She barely even blinked, afraid that a single motion would push the moment away from her hands. Aoi continued, “Fortunately, most of the time my father wasn’t home. He despised my mother for liking a girl before, as they got married because my grandparents put them together to kind of ‘cure’ her, and he wanted a woman to own. Obviously, I never knew the woman she liked was your… mother. But, well…”

Nene’s face twitched and Aoi giggled before continuing, “My mother would follow him wordlessly, so I didn’t go much to school since he prohibited us from even stepping out of the house. And when we did, he would find it out. In school, people were around me because I got good grades and because of my appearance, but I never felt like I fitted. But, one day… I met a girl. She was one year younger, and she reminds me of you. The silly personality, the long hair, the sweet sense of fashion… well, my mother found out I was hanging out with her and asked what we were, desperate. I, young and stupid, answered, ‘I feel warm with her’. We had just kissed moment before I entered my house. My mother’s face distorted in a form I’d never seen before. After that, it’s a blank, but I just know that we parted ways, and she even switched schools to never see me again. I just know that I told her everything and it hurt her. After that, I was never the same; it didn’t make sense to be around those empty people, so I didn’t hide my depressed state, and everyone was pushed away. But I felt lonely… so I started to smile even though I wasn’t feeling like that. To be honest, I was never actually feeling like that. Then… I never said a word about anything. You’re the first to know after Akane, since he’s my childhood friend.”

Silence. Nene didn’t even know what to say. How could she have endured all of that, without a single trace of sadness slipping through her façade? How could she endure not talking about it to anyone for years?

How could a family do this to their own child?

Without hesitation, Nene’s arms embraced Aoi’s body tightly. The blue-haired’s hands, now open to the cold air without the warmth of the other’s, touched the girl’s back hesitantly, as she hid her face in the crook of Nene’s neck. The birds sang, the cars buzzed, and the sun was almost all the way down, but the sound of Aoi’s silent hiccups was what mattered the most for Yashiro. Even if the world ended at that moment, she was happy. Finally, Aoi had let that weight out of her scared heart.

“It’s okay, Aoi. I’m here,” Nene’s hand trailed up and down the girl’s back. “It won’t happen again. You’re safe here, I promise.”