Work Text:
“The courts ruled soon enough that the Grantville Disaster was an Act of God, for which insurance companies were not liable. Within ten years, the Disaster had devolved into another domain of fanatics and enthusiasts, like the Kennedy Assassination. Thereafter, of course, it enjoyed a near-eternal half-life. But few if any reputable scientists in the world held out any hope for a final explanation.” - Eric Flint's 1632, page one.
Edd sat down on the couch with a long sigh. The man was so damn tired right now. Even though it was in the middle of the day. He rested a cola on the nearby table and lay down. The town of Grantville West Virginia was comprised of many things. Guns, hard workers, and simplicity. Among other things.
He felt a little off somewhat. He didn't know why, he just felt weird. Some strange, unnatural, and powerful force was going to send him and everyone else he knew in this town was coming with him. Why was he feeling this way? He didn't know why.
He stared at the ceiling for a little bit. His body slowly relaxed a little bit as he looked at the ceiling’s odd texture. Everything felt super duper slow as he began to doze up. He didn't know why the hell he felt this way. It shouldn't happen. But it did.
Not long after Edd tried to doze off. Two people went inside the house. One of them was Tord, a man similar to Edd’s size and age as well as wearing a red hoodie. And Tamara, a woman wearing a blue hoodie and having weird, black eyes. These were two of Edd's roommates who usually stayed with him and did everything with him.
Edd immediately noticed them as soon as they came in and sat up. His groggy eyes moved up at the sight of the two.
“Oh hey,” Edd asked, rubbing his eyes and opening up a can of cola to drink. “Where's Tom and Matt?”
Tord just scratched his head and shrugged.
“They were at the store,” Tord said, walking to the couch and sitting next to Edd. Tord and Edd were close… Very close. It was to the point where it wasn't so platonic. A lot of people noticed. It was to the point where the local Rednecks at the Club 250 banned Tord from the bar for ‘being a Peter puffer’ that pissed Tord off so much that he had a shootout with one of them. Almost got arrested a year ago for that. “They're going to get the cola and everything,”
“Why didn't you or Tam get the cola?” Edd asked, putting his hand on Tord's lap. “Besides me, you and her usually get it in the store,”
Tord sighed and nervously rubbed his arm. “Well uhh,”
Tamara interrupted him. “We went to Tom Simpson and Rita Stearn's wedding,”
Edd widened his eyes. Tom Simpson was the son of two rich parents who didn't like the “feeble commoners” of Grantville. And him wanting to marry Rita Stearn's was probably the worst nightmare of their minds. And Edd, Tord, and Tamara fucking hated Tom's parents. Especially John Chandler Simpson. That businessman made all of their blood boil.
“Why were you at their wedding?” Asked Edd. “I don't know why, seems a little odd of you to do so,”
Tord just kissed Edd's cheek and said, “Mike wanted me to be there, so I decided why not?”
Edd just blushed a little bit as Tord did that. The both of them stood awkwardly as they stared at each other. Tamara just sighed and got a cola to drink.
“Yeah,” Tamara said between sips. “We left early though, Simpson was acting all weird with me. Really fucking creepy too,”
“Of course, that old geezer acted like that,” Tord added angrily. Out of everyone, Edd knew, Tord hated John Simpson the most. Hell, it makes people like Tam, Mike Stearns, or even Harry Lefferts look like the biggest Simpson fan ever. “I swear to God I am going to fucking kill that filthy fuck-”
“Ok, that's enough!” Shouted Edd. “I get it. Simpson is a shithead. But should we really think about him? It's Sunday for Christ's sake. I want to talk about something cool. Like what about the most recent movies or something? I heard that they're making another Magic Pirate Zombie movie!”
Tamara chuckled while Tord widened his eyes and stared at Edd.
“Oh hell yeah!” She said with a smile. “I always wanted to watch another movie like that! The last two were hilarious!”
“Hell yeah!” Tord shouted. “I heard that too! I hope it's a super good one! The last one was spectacular! Especially with that!”
“Yeah! I hope it's good as well-” Tamara was soon interrupted by a blinding light. A light as bright as the sun. And soon enough… The Ring of Fire would change their lives forever… A new murderous world would await them.
“The Ring of Fire came, and they entered a new and very strange world,” - 1632, Page 13.
The light lasted for a solid minute. Causing Tamara to get to the ground while Edd and Tord hid on the couch. It was complete hell for a moment. Surprisingly, no one acted overdramatic. Not even Edd.
“What the actual FUCK?!” Was the only thing Edd shouted out as he held onto Tord. “Why is everything so damn bright?!”
The blinding light continued to last for a little bit. Once it stopped, Tord, Edd, and Tamara all got up on the ground. They looked around… Feeling extremely confused as all hell.
“What the hell is going on?” Tord asked, walking over to the nearby kitchen and looking at the window.
“I don't know,” Tamara added as she followed Tord. “What the fuck is going on?”
Edd shrugged, “Beats me, it's probably Eduardo up to something again,” he then got up as he got up and downed the cola. “Like we've seen enough weird stuff in general, so how's this any different-”
Edd’s little one-liner stopped as they heard gunshots. This would be normal, considering how Grantville is a West Virginian mining town and everyone is a gun nut. But this didn't sound like a regular pistol or rifle. It sounded like an old gun. Like musket gunpowder era old.
“No way,” Tord stated while his head moved to the main living room. “No… fucking way! ”
“What is it?” Edd asked.
Tord paused a little bit. His hand tapped on the table for a little bit. The weirdest thing that happened though was something that they all expected.
Tom and Matt busted down the front door with Tom carrying Matt's limping body. A gigantic bullet hole in his shoulder. It looked like a gigantic shotgun shell shot down his shoulder.
“HELP!” Tom yelled out. “We got assaulted by some Spanish conquistadors!”
“Spanish, what now?” Asked Tamara.
“I DON'T KNOW!” Shouted Tom, getting a first aid kit and trying to tend to Matt's wounds. “Just go and take care of whatever the fuck is out there! I'll tend to his wounds! That really bright light is super duper confusing for no reason!”
“Well,” added Tord, a maniacal grin on his face as he went over and grabbed an AK-47 fully automatic rifle from the kitchen. Tord had stolen the rifle from his hometown of Norway along with a solid ten large ammo boxes for it. Edd knew that Tord was dying to use it for the first time. This was his chance. “Ok! Edd, Tam, get some guns! We're going to serve justice!”
“For Christ's sake,” shouted Edd as he got up. He was now a little angry. One of his friends got shot, and a blinding light came. And even worse, there was no fucking coke. “Do you really need that gun?”
“Yeah, sweetheart!” Tord said towards Edd. A little too seductive. He then loaded a magazine into the AK and said, “LET'S GO!”
A blushing Edd and annoyed Tamara nodded. Both of them walked over and grabbed a gun each. Tamara has a simple Ruger Single Six .22 revolver. While Edd got a simple yet classic pump action shotgun with buckshot.
The trio soon ran out of the house. All three of them are on high alert. Completely unaware of what this new world would offer. The new differences were obvious.
Their house was on the edge of town. And when they headed out. They noticed that everything was different. Extremely different.
The usual highway and road that would lead you out of Grantville was gone. Well, at least the path near it. There was a good chunk of highway, but the rest of it got cut perfectly. The rest was grass and dirt. The cola and groceries Tom and Matt were now on the floor. Probably warm and shaken up.
So far everything seemed only a little strange to Edd and Tord. But they soon changed their minds once they noticed that a group of armored men who looked like Spanish conquistadors. They were about a solid ten of them. All are equipped with bizarre antique guns and matchlocks. And they were chasing after a confused teenager.
Edd knew that teenager, it was Jeff Higgins. A local military history nerd and D&D player. And like Tom and Matt. He was on the run. He had a shotgun in his hand.
“Oh shit, oh FUCK!” shouted Jeff, he then turned to look at the three gun-equipped persons. “Oh, hey Edd!”
“Hey look!” Shouted Tamara, pointing at the people. “There’s about two dead bodies nearby! Jeff must have gotten a couple of them before he got chased,”
“NO WAY!” Yelled Edd as he stared at the group of strange ancient men. “Those are Spaniards!”
“Uhh, no,” Tord said, he then proceeded to explain like the weird military history nerd he was, “Those are German mercenaries. Not the Spanish conquistadors we all know,”
Edd just shook his head and opened fire at one of the mercenaries. The buckshot hit his face dead. The rest of the mercenaries began to charge. They began to load their matchlocks and began to shoot.
Jeff dove for the floor while the trio of gunmen only stood their ground and began to unload their ammo into them. Tord unloaded a short burst of AK fire at the men. Killing one via a headshot and injuring two of them and bleeding out. Those were only because of the cuirass that those two of the men were wearing.
Tamara and Edd took care of the other mercs with .22 rounds and buckshot. Each of the mercenaries tried to respond with a match-lock volley. But it hit nothing besides Tamara’s leg. Even then, with her leg bleeding. Tamara still unloaded one last shot into the head of one of the mercenaries.
She held onto her knee.
“Ow, guys! I'm hit!” She shouted out.
Tord and Edd just finished off the rest of the mercs with the superior AK-47 and shotgun. After they took care of the mercs. Tord and Edd quickly ran toward Tamara afterward. Both of them dropped their guns and tried to pick her up. Jeff got up soon enough as well and tried to help the two out.
“Oh fuck, oh shit,” Muttered Jeff. “Let's get her to the hospital now! It's not that far away from here!”
“But Matt is already injured as well!” Edd shouted back. By this point, they needed to regroup as fast. “How the fuck are we going to get them back there?”
“Oh don't worry,” Tord added, as he lifted up Tamara along with the other two. “We’ll find some way to do it. I promise you. I promise you,”
“Yeah Edd,” Tamara added as she felt a little bit of pain. “I think you guys can do it,”
Eventually, Tamara and Matt both got into the hospital once Tord, Jeff Higgins, Tom, and Edd brought them in. They soon got noticed by the confused citizens of Grantville. They all got them into the hospital. Dr. Nicholas (the doctor at the time) took them in. And the four left them after they found out that they had to stay the night.
Completely and utterly confused were the only things that the four felt. They grabbed the guns they left on the ground and went into their respective homes. Tom just spent the rest of the day and night drinking and trying to watch TV which somehow didn't work after the blinding light.
Later that night, Edd and Tord were lying down on a bed. Both held each other closely as they thought about what happened earlier.
“I'm confused,” Edd said as he nuzzled at Tord's chest.“Tord, what do you think happened? Those guys don't look normal at all,”
Tord just kissed Edd's forehead and sighed. He knew the answer. But he doubted if it made any damn sense. But, Edd was the love of his life. So he decided to answer.
“I think we're in the Thirty Years War in Central Europe. Probably Germany judging by those mercenaries we shot down,” Tord explained, “Think about it Edd. Why would there be a group of men with sixteen-hundred-style weapons and armor? Why else would they try to ravage Grantville?”
Edd just sighed and squeezed Tord while he explained.
“Oh, we're going to get screwed if we don't play our cards right,” Edd said. “Didn't a third of Germany get killed off or something?”
“Well, yeah,” Tord said, feeling a little surprised. Usually, Edd didn't know much about history unless it was something really modern like World War 2 or the Cold War. “How did you know that?!”
“You rambled on and on about it, remember?” Edd replied. “I remembered it because Tom began yelling at you for liking Sweden or whatever at that time,”
Tord only chuckled. And the rest of the night ended in them falling asleep… They had to get prepared for the chaos coming soon.
“We are surrounded by the Ring of Fire. Well, I've fought forest fires before. So have lots of other men in this room. The best way to fight a fire is to start a counterfire. So my position is simple. I say we start the American Revolution- a hundred and fifty years ahead of schedule! ” - Mike Stearns, 1632. Page Seventy-Five.
Everything felt different… So, so different. Edd, Tord, and Tom were now all in one of the rifle pits the American army had made. And all three of them were on high alert.
The town of Grantville was now a little different. They quickly developed an emergency committee led by local hillbillies and had a whole damn town meeting. At the gym out of all places. And it turns out that Tord was right. They were stuck in the damn 1600s. In the middle of the Thirty Years War on Germany. No chance of returning home.
It didn't even help that the town was slowly expanding in terms of population. Nearby German refugees came in the ranks along with the confused time-traveling Americans. Which only caused a major issue on how they can survive in this new savage world.
It was all explained by the mayor made the people freak the fuck out. Hell, even Edd and Tord were shouting “What the hell are we going to do?”
The crowd then grew spiteful when John Simpson went in.
He said the stupidest thing ever, wanting to make a wall and kicking out the refugees. It was a lot of bullshit to everyone. Especially Tord and Mike Stearns. He then learned to shut the fuck up once Mike angrily walked onto the podium, pushed Simpson off like the coward he was, and proceeded to make the biggest speech in the history of the town.
The basic plan, which Tord, Tom, and Edd supported like everyone else who wasn't Simpson or a complete bigot. Was having the town be a haven for anyone who wanted to help them out while gearing down to a late 19th-century tech base. Which still puts them over their new European neighbors. It was perfect, but it wasn't long until they had to confront another menace to human decency itself.
As it turned out, a big threat was coming towards Grantville. And that was a gigantic group of Catholic German mercenaries led by a man called Count Tilly. Who was a cutthroat yet amazing military leader in his own right. The only sad thing was that he let his men ravage, murder, and rape all over the German countryside. And as it turned out, the town of Grantville was next.
And now, here they were. Tord, Edd, Tom, and about 297 other American volunteers, 500 protestant mercs led by some guy named Ernst Hoffman, and some Scottish cavalry were on the road of Brandenburg. Getting ready to fight an army of 2000 men with pikes and matchlocks.
Luckily, the Americans had way more advanced lever and bolt action rifles. Which the three managed to have. Tord really wanted to bring his AK-47 but Edd told him not to. He didn't want to be judged even more than usual. But in hindsight, the people of Grantville still wouldn't really judge them for that.
The German tercio was marching slowly towards them. A group of musket-wielding soldiers surrounded by pikemen with Wheellock pistols holding calvary were slowly, but surely heading into the town.
“Oh shit,” Edd said, “That is a lot of men,”
“Yeah, like they can actually hit anything or reload!” Tord yelled as he cocked the lever of his Winchester Model 94. “We got this in the bag boys!”
“They outnumber us by a solid margin,” Said Tom as he stared at the slow turtle-like Tercio. “Sure, we have more advanced rifles but they outnumber us. I think we're going to die-”
Tom's words were stopped once he heard a round of M-60 machine gun fire come out from the left flank. Mowing down the Catholic mercenaries in their path. Large holes were on the bodies of the men. The front ranks were completely shot down.
This… was only a sign for Tord and Edd to open fire. Both of them fired their rifles. Picking apart each of the tercio as they fired. They aimed for the heads since the armor would completely backfire. Tom just followed and pulled the bolt off his rifle to fire as well.
The mercs tried to reply with a couple of arquebus rounds. They fired into the row of Americans. Only for it to be completely useless. The matchlocks could only fire a very few yards away. But it meant fuck all compared to the American's 25 to 300-yard rifles that needed way less time to reload.
The trio's fire was destroying a part of the tercio’s forces. By this point, the men were now in disorder. The mercs have practically lost the battle.
The calvary tried to last a little bit longer. But due to the modern rifles, the left flanks M-60, and the Scottish cavalry were now making the great Count Tilly’s men look like a battalion of buffoons in comparison.
“HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF A BOWLING BALL!” shouted Tom, he got up and pointed at the mercs. “They're fleeing!”
“Really?” Asked Edd.
“I'm not shocked,” Tord said with a chuckle. “The military meta in this day and age were just primitive gang shootouts and sometimes artillery,”
And as Tom said, the Mercs began to retreat. Hundreds, if not a solid thousand were dead due to the Americans’ superior technology and strategy for the future. It made Tord laugh in a way. The crazy bastards lost… they actually lost.
“Hey guys,” Edd said, pointing at the so-called “allies” they had in Hoffman's soldiers. Who was retreating like a coward. “Why are they retreating?!”
Tord shrugged. “Oh, they're leaving like the fucking cowards they are,” he said casually. Pulling out a cigarette to smoke. “They're probably trying to raid the town as well for all we know. Like they would be able to do that!”
“More like they can do fuck all!” Added Tom while drinking some alcohol from his flask. “Anyone betting that Frank Jackson would spare them from embarrassment?
Edd chuckled. Frank Jackson was a Vietnam War veteran and now the general for the new American army. And the answer was simple yet obvious “Hell no!”
And sooner than later. That's how the futurely called ”Battle of the Crapper,” was over. Tom, Tord, and Edd have finally protected their home alone with the rest of the American army. And it was glorious!
“It was the M-60 that broke them. One in five of those rounds was a tracer. On that gray and cloudy day, the tracers blazed like streaks of magic fire m. To Tilly's men, and the Scots who watched, it seemed as if a sorcerer's wand was smithing them down,” - 1632, page 141.
Edd and Tord were both sitting on the couch. With Edds head on Tord's shoulder while the Norwegian American wrapped an arm around him. Today was an amazing day. Not only did they have won their first battle. Tamara and Matt were now back from the hospital. And they were completely welcomed.
“I can't believe it,” Edd muttered under his breath as he slowly moved to sit on Tord's lap. Tord chuckled a little bit and began to fully wrap his arms around Edd. The two men enjoyed their company even though it was very late. “We actually won! ”
Edd then nuzzled his face into Tord's chest a little bit. That only made Tord chuckle as he rubbed Edd's hair.
“Yeah…” Tord said, kissing Edd's forehead. “We won… we won indeed!”
This world was strange, sure. The Ring of Fire was one very confusing place that may not like the lifestyles Tord, Edd and the rest of Grantville had to offer. But it didn't matter. As long as democracy and a new America were surviving. They were all right… Not even a Holy Roman Empire can stop them.
The End.