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It's been a week since Riko died. Suguru has been feeling more under the weather than ever. He longs for someone to help him. Yet, doesn't reach out. It's confusing, why want comfort when you never show your feelings? It's a mystery to him. Suguru feels even worse that his best friend, the one closest to him, hasn't done anything to help him. He feels so vulnerable, he KNOWS that if he could've helped Riko faster and prevented her death. If he didn't get into that fight with Toji. What should he do? He's shaking. How pathetic. Suguru's train of thought is soon interrupted by a cheery, familiar voice.
"Yo, you good Sugu?"
His head snapped away from the ground, "Oh, uh yeah I'm doing fine."
"You sure..? You look like you just saw someone die."
Suguru shivers, "Well, I kind of did Satoru."
The latter looks away embarrassed, "Right, sorry. Do you need anything? Maybe a smoke?" He ends with a smirk.
Of course. Gojo Satoru promised he would quit; guess he couldn't keep that promise. Always thinking about solving his problems with smoking and not talking. Suguru could never understand it. Though, he can't be talking right now.
"...Later maybe, I'm kinda out of it."
"Okay. I'll be outside if you need me," he says with a hand on Suguru's shoulder.
Suguru nods. He doesn't want him to leave, he wants to grab Satoru by the arm and pull him into bed with him. But he can't, he's trying to reach out. His body won't move, it won't let him. He let Satoru leave. Why? Suguru needs him right now. Why is he like this? Why can't he just disappear already? Why is he such a coward? Before he knows it, he's down right sobbing. Tears falling against his will.
"No... stop," He pleads quietly to himself, "I can't, not right now."
Hurriedly wiping each stream of tears that fall from his eyes. His sobs start getting louder, Suguru knows Satoru is right outside. The walls are thin, he can be heard. Why won't the tears stop? The room is filled with sniffles and hiccups, he feels useless. This is his worst nightmare, what if Satoru walks in on him, so vulnerable.
There're three soft knocks on the door, speak of the fucking devil.
"Uhm, Sugu? Are you okay? I can hear you from out here," his eyes widen in worry.
"I'm fine...! Just a stuffy nose, no need to come in," Suguru retorts back.
"I know you're not okay. I'm coming in, I don't care," Satoru says while Suguru is scrambling to make himself look presentable.
The door creaks slowly, Satoru gasps softly at the sight of his beloved with puffy, red-ish eyes, messy hair, the darkest eye bags ever, and a tired look on his face.
"Ar-Are you okay? Do you want Advil? Tissues? Is this because of you having to swallow curses? I-I have candies on me right now, uhm, do you need a hot water bottle? A movie? Water? Yes, water I'll go ge-" he rants on before he's cut off.
"'Toru, I'm fine. I'm just crying," he reassures.
This doesn't reassure Satoru though, "But you look like a mess. No offense."
"It's nothing."
"Well, it's obviously something!" Satoru replies almost immediately.
Suguru chuckles, "It's not," he can't keep up this 'I'm fine,' persona any longer.
"But are you sure? I can get you ANYTHIING you need. Literally anything I promise," he says, oh so sweetly.
This breaks Suguru. Tears start falling uncontrollably again, and again, and again. He can't stop them, they hurt. They sting his eyes. He wants Satoru's candies, he wants Satoru.
"I-I'm sorry, I do-don't know why I'm...crying," he manages to croak out.
He feels calloused hands on his cheek, brushing away the tears slowly, and lovingly. Suguru leans into the touch, still sobbing like a maniac. There're now two hands cupping his face. Both wiping away his tears, helping him. Suguru suddenly feels a warmth enveloping him.
"'Toru?"
"Shh, it's okay," Satoru shushes.
Why is Suguru feel so, loved? Warm? Amazing? He wants to deny this feeling, this forbidden feeling of love. He grew up loving girls, so why now is he feeling different? He wants to ask Satoru about it but can't. Again, his mouth isn't moving, except to let out choked sobs. Still embraced in Satoru, he finally speaks up.
"Why are you doing this?"
Satoru looks at the dark haired other confusingly, "What do you mean?"
"Why are you loving me. I should be unlovable, I'm a mess, I basically killed Riko myself," Suguru's voice cracks at the thought of it.
"I-" before the strongest could reply, he gets cut off once again.
"You don't have to say anything, I know I'm a waste of your time. Just leave, I can take care of this myself."
"No." Satoru states firmly.
"What?"
"Obviously not. Never, ever, will I leave you in this state,"
Satoru looks into the latter's eyes, those beautiful glossy blue eyes, staring into his. The tears stopped.
"Wh-huh? Why? I don't-"
His sentence was cut off with a mango flavor hitting his lips. Was, Satoru... kissing him? Someone like him. Who can't even understand his own feelings? Someone who should just, die? This confuses him even more. Yet loving the feeling. Satoru pulls away looking at a surprised Suguru.
He smiles, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Suguru can't help but cry even more, "Yo-you..." he can't help but smile.
"I'm what? The best therapist ever?" The white-haired boy chuckles.
"What di-did you want to tell me with that kiss Satoru Gojo," he peeps out, still crying a little.
"Oooh full name? I just love you, that's all. I love you; I love you sooo much," Satoru replies.
Suguru chuckles, hearing those words made him feel like the chains suppressing his feelings back have been broken. Satoru repeats the same motion, his calloused thumbs circling around the latter's cheek.
"I..." Suguru hesitates for a moment, "I love you too."
Satoru sighs, "Thank god, you took a while to reply, I thought I got rejected!"
"Oh, shut up, I was thinking whether I should accept your confession or brutally say 'No, you're ugly and I would never love or date you," Suguru rolls his eyes.
"Gasp...! How dare you," 'Toru says while clutching his chest dramatically.
Suguru pulls Satoru by the collar, pressing their lips together again. Satoru's hands wander to the latter's back, rubbing reassuring circles.
"How dare I what?" The black-haired boy pulls away.
Satoru chuckles loudly, "Haha, very funny."
They smile as they remember, they have each other. Suguru never has to be alone in anything ever again.
Love is the most twisted curse of all.