Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was probably inevitable that one day Reid would suit an unsubs victimology. Tall, lanky, pretty but not too confident, sad brown eyes, he was the perfect victim. Life was also a bit too cruel to him. Even if all his traits weren't prime pickings for a serial killer, life would've found a way.

The Reid effect. It expanded past a lot more than bad luck with children and animals.

Reid had bad luck. A shitty-good-bad kind. He was beyond smart and good things sometimes happened, but those good things only lasted so long, and intelligence was not worth the amount of trauma he had to put up with. He had good luck in the sense that bad things happened to him, but he lived.

It made the team think he'd always live. He'd always find a way to get out of whatever life threatening situation he was in, because he was Reid. And Reid was the universe's punching bag.

It didn't want to get rid of its plaything so soon.

It's why when Reid went missing no one had doubt that they wouldn't find him.

He wasn't missing long, but the team were making themselves sick with worry.

The day prior the BAU had been called onto a case where a serial killer was targeting men in their twenties, brown fluffy hair, dark eyes, traumatized looking, and self-esteem issues. Everyone's eyes had fallen onto Reid, who shifted uncomfortably under the stares.

“It’s a basic type” the implied ‘I’m not that interesting’ was there.

It fell right into the low self-esteem the unsub was targeting. Hotch helped them move along but not without the mental note to keep someone with Reid at all times. They weren't sure if they were dealing with a spree killer yet but the kills had little time in between. Unlike spree killers, the unsub kidnapped his victims and tortured them, but for whatever reason something doesn't work out and they get brutally stabbed multiple times.

Reid theorized that the unsub wasn't finding the right victim. He had a type, clearly, but none of them were perfect. He was finding the flaws with each and killing them out of the frustration of failure.

Mission oriented, he had a fantasy that needed to be played out.

Those kinds of killers never stopped until they found the proper surrogate. Or finally had the object of their affection.

The second was more common than the first.

When Reid was taken, Rossi feared they may have just given him that.

Hotch told himself he wouldn't let Reid be alone. Unfortunately, he hadn't told the team. It slipped his mind to with everything that had been happening. The local police were causing trouble for them and he had to keep them in line in between helping to solve the case. The amount of times he had to threaten them with charges of getting in the way of a federal investigation was more than he should've needed to for a police department.

It was no wonder why the place was so ridden with crime. The locals were bad and the officers just as much. Garcia could probably find dirt on all the officers and it would've been disappointingly easy.

Reid had been the main target of their remarks, clearly being the youngest and the least threatening looking. Garcia wasn't there or else their attention would've been split between the two. A cop had tried to say something ‘witty’ to JJ but she could hold her own easily when it came to people, let alone men, giving her attitude. Unfortunately, Reid could not.

It was more than he chose not to. He could if he really wanted and was prompted enough but simple workplace bullying wasn't enough to irritate him. Years of school bullies had conditioned an odd sense of normalcy when done to him, he only ever had a problem when it was done to someone else.

Self-deprecating, just without the humor that usually followed.

“I can do it” he had chimed in, the tension between Hotch and the female officer was palpable. Both had looked at him and he backtracked slightly, “if you'd like me to. We can wait of course but if you want to speed it up then I can do it”

“That's a good idea, if you're sure you can do it I'll have the samples sent to the lab, go wait there” Hotch directed, calmer now that he was talking to his agent. The female scoffed,

“I get that you're FBI but you can't do everything. Just wait the thirty minutes and it'll get done by people who know how to do it. We're dealing with chemicals, y'know, it's not something some ‘agent’-”

“Doctor. He's a doctor with three PhD’s, one of which is in chemistry, he's more than capable to do this, if not more. Now get the information to the lab he's going to be in, Reid go” the commanding tone of his boss was enough to draw Reid out of his small shock and dart out of the room. “People’s lives are at stake, I won't jeopardize that because you care about age and want to underestimate one of my agents. Go get that to him now”

She finally got moving. Hotch sighed when she left the room, he hadn't noticed Rossi's presence until an amused whistle filled the room. No words had to be spoken on his part, the look was enough.

“Why does he let people undermine him?”

“He's humble, doesn't like confrontation or the attention on him” Rossi answered easily, “he's okay. Take a break, come get a coffee with me. We don't have any leads until Morgan and Emily get back” Hotch wanted to but couldn't argue with that.

How did Reid go missing from within the police department? The cameras hadn't shown him leaving through the front or back entrance, JJ hadn't seen him since he reported the chemical findings to her because he couldn't find Hotch.

Morgan wasn't happy to hear the news when he got back. His first suspect was the lady that had antagonized him, (though if they were going off of that, what officer hadn't sneered at Reid?). He got her cornered with JJ and Emily in an impromptu interrogation.

“I left the building after I gave the samples to him. Check the cameras, I went to go get actual results ‘cause I don't trust his inexperienced opinion” she had the lab reports to prove it. JJ took pride in the fact that Reid’s results were the exact same, of course he had more information to offer and he got it done quicker since he didn't have to travel.

Unfortunately, that left them with one less suspect.

“Are we sure he didn't just leave? Or maybe he's somewhere in here that we just haven't seen”

They had Garcia track his phone, something they realistically should've done from the beginning but with all the tension between the case and the officers, it was hard to be rational. The phone led them to a secluded hallway, one that led to nothing but the storage room. Seeing as most of the officers couldn't be bothered to file things away properly, it made sense why Reid would be the only one back there.

His phone was there and smashed glass from the window, but no Reid.

Someone broke in and took him using the window to escape, the implications were clear.

“How the hell did no one hear the glass breaking?”

How the hell did they let Reid get kidnapped again.

The rest of the team got filled in on Reid's obvious kidnapping. There wasn't exactly any evidence that it was the same guy but him suiting the victimology and being brash enough to try his luck at a police department both were enough. It was too much to just be a coincidence.

They delivered the profile not long after. At least the news of Reid being kidnapped made the officers feel bad for what they did and actually put effort into the case. It was a good sign Morgan supposed but he didn't completely trust them.

The newfound motivation to actually be useful led an officer knocking on the conference room door. He was the head of the department and held a box.

“I wasn't aware we had these, apparently my officers didn't mention them because they didn't see how they could be useful. But your agent said to give anything so” he gestured to the box now on the table. Hotch dismissed him with a half-hearted thanks

Inside the box the size of a shoebox were tapes. Small but many, they weren't in order but they had the victims names on it, each name had a handful labeled as them.

It didn't take long to realize they were all torture tapes. Something the unsub probably used to feel excited. They skimmed through parts that weren't necessary, Reid had been correct, the unsub had been talking but the victim wasn't answering how he wanted. It broke the fantasy, he could clearly see the lie his brain tried to conjure up.

This wasn't his love.

The murder was never taped, it wasn't exactly a sign of remorse, it was just more that it wasn't the point of the tapes. The unsub used them to get off, the sadistic torture was what he needed, not a murder that was fast and brutal and full of rage. All of them were inconspicuously filmed, giving a sort of stalker POV. The victim wouldn't know they were being recorded and the unsub likely got a thrill from that.

There were no tapes for Reid.

Not yet.

Reid felt the wetness start to pour down on him, he shut his eyes and mouth and looked down to hopefully prevent it from getting too much on his face. He was mostly unsuccessful due to the large amount dumped. His body tensed under the fluid, it was as if moving would make it real.

He didn't need to open his eyes and see the red to know it was blood, the strong metallic smell that flooded him was more than enough. If he had to guess, he'd say it was likely a collection from the other victims. They had lost large amounts of blood, this apparently was where it had gone.

He wanted to gag but the fear of tasting it was enough to keep the bile down.

There was cruel laughter that finally broke the silence and dripping. He could hear Jason in front of him and soon felt him when he started to clean his eyes with his hands. It got to the point where he hesitantly opened his eyes. He was disgusted by the sight that greeted him. Jason was licking the blood off his fingers, he recoiled when his face was stroked with those same fingers again. The blood was being smeared around on his cheeks.

"You look so pretty covered like this" one hand went to his hair, he didn't want to think about how much of it was drying there, the other hand smeared the blood down his neck and clothed chest. Jason licked his cheek, it got more blood off but left a different unwanted texture behind. It didn't stop there, blood clearly got the unsub off because their lips were smashed together uncomfortably. Reid tried not to react, he didn't want his distressed noises to be misinterpreted. Unsubs like Jason needed the fantasy to be perfect, if he didn't play along, he wouldn't be able to get off.

It raised the chances of death to the victim but Jason hadn't shown signs of aggression towards him yet so he felt like he was safe to play it risky for now.

"My team will find me" he panted when Jason finally pulled off.

"You don't remember?" He felt his blood run cold, he didn't remember anything past hearing the sound of glass shattering and vague pain. As far as he was aware, this was the first time he woke up and actually spoke to him.

"Remember what?"

"You don't have a team anymore. They're dead."

That couldn't be true.

"You're lying-" he shook his head, urging himself not to believe it. "You're a psychotic killer with sadistic tendencies, you like the fear I feel. You just want me to believe that you killed them"

"I'm also in love with you. I want you all to myself and you care too much for them. I have no doubts that they'd get in my way had they continued to be alive. I had to get rid of them. Nothing can interfere with us”

“No..no you didn't” he hated to admit that he was conflicted. It would make sense for Jason to be lying. He got off on power, what's more powerful than making the object of your affection think they lost everyone but you? It was a manipulation tactic. On the other hand, it could technically be true that they were...dead. He may have been so upset at the idea of them getting in the way that he killed them.

He hated not being certain.

"Aaron, David, Emily, Jennifer, Penelope, and Derek, those were your team members right? Those were also the people who I murdered the other night"

First names, not in the police force then. Somewhere where first names were normal in the workplace. Jason was used to calling people by their first names, unemployed or a regular, low grade, job.

Facts. Focus on facts and logic.

He said he was in love with him, it's possible he's just deluded and said that to all his captors but he was able to come out of it enough to know things about him. It gave the sense that he was the main target.

"Say you're happy that I did it" the unsub said suddenly, drawing him from his thoughts.

“What?”

“Say ‘I’m happy you killed my team’ say it!” His patience was thinning. Reid was in shock, compliance would be the smart route but he couldn't get the words out.

I'm happy you killed my team… he couldn't say that.

It wasn't true.

Words. Words. Words. Say it. You don't have to believe it.

Before he could process, he was being uncuffed and dragged. There was a large sink already filled with water. He hadn't seen it before but in his defense there hadn't been much time before his vision was being flooded by blood. Jason wasted no time dunking his head under the water. Reid thrashed but the grip was strong, the only time he came up was when Jason pulled him up.

“Say it”

“I- I can't- I”

He couldn't breathe. For a moment, he wondered if he was actually going to die by drowning. He stayed under so long his lungs were uncomfortable when they could finally inhale air again.

“Say it”

“Say what?” He forgot. He usually didn't forget but he was stressed and nearly passing out while choking on water was enough to make him lose focus.

“Say you're happy I killed your team, damnit!” he shook Reid violently, something that didn't take a lot to do considering how weak he felt.

“I'm hap-” he hiccuped through tears, he couldn't breathe, “happy you killed my team. I'm happy you killed them,” he pleaded. That seemed to be enough for him, Reid was dragged back to his spot. His arms went back to being chained above his head, only this time when Jason left, he pushed a lever that suspended him. He hadn't been aware that he had been on a mechanical hook.

He wasn't aware of a lot of things it seemed. He wondered if he had a concussion.

Maybe he shouldn't have jinxed himself. Did it technically count as jinxing?

He definitely wasn't concussed before. He shouldn't have wished it on himself.

Jason had come in upset, Reid was conveniently suspended in the air. In the perfect position to act as a human punching bag. Punches landed all over his body, his ribs ached, if Jason had continued like that then he would've just suffered from soreness and maybe a broken rib or two, but he hadn't. He got tired of the position quickly and had flipped the switch to lower the hook he was on. He was taken off and quickly beaten to the floor.

He wouldn't have been able to put up much of a fight anyways, but now with his new injuries he was even more useless. He tried not to cry but the pain was too much, Jason was yelling incoherently, or maybe it just sounded incoherent.. he couldn't make out the words but he was sure it wasn't actually directed at him. He was likely just being used as an outlet for whatever had pissed Jason off. His body was numbing under the attack, it took him a few disoriented hits to realize his head was repeatedly being slammed into the concrete floor.

Ah that would do it.

The sharpness in his head was monetary, a small price to pay for the full-body numbing.

It felt so nice not to feel.

It hurt, or rather it used to hurt. Now it felt like nothing and nothingness was good. Nothing meant everything was fine.

Things were fine.

He was fine.

Who…was he?

He didn't know what happened after that, he passed out.

The next time he was awake he was being poked in the stomach, there were words, light and airy, almost playful. When Jason saw his eyes start to open he kissed his cheek to greet him,

“Breakfast baby, time to wake up” it was dark but that was more so due to the lack of windows than the time of day. The unsub said it was breakfast, was it already morning? It didn't feel that long ago.

“Where ‘m I? Who are you? ..I- I don't think I can remember stuff. What happened?” His voice shook from being unused, there was less panic, it was as if he didn't realize he was kidnapped.

Jason caught onto this.

“I'm Jason, your boyfriend. I was worried you had a concussion but I didn't know it was this bad, I'm sorry baby, I would've brought you to the hospital had I known” he sounded genuinely apologetic. Reid felt off but he chalked it up to the concussion.

“I.. I didn't know that- any of that. I have amnesia?”

“I fear so” Jason hesitated, he needed to know how far he could go with his lie. “What do you remember, doll?”

“My name, my age, I have three PhD's and two BA's, my..job? I think I work for the FBI-”

“Used to. Your team died months ago and you couldn't cope, you quit. You got really depressed so I've been taking care of things money-wise, then your injuries started acting up so you couldn't move well. You'd always worry you were being a bother but I'd always reassure you that I loved taking care of you” he said fondly, it made Reid blush slightly, someone liked taking care of him? His boyfriend, no less?

“I haven't been a bother? Taking care of stuff by yourself for months seems exhausting” he said softly, a bit slurred but mostly ashamed he hasn't been able to help.

“Aw, baby, don't worry. I would never mind, like I said, I really enjoy looking after you. I'm kinda glad you get to stay home too, God, it worried me so much whenever you had to go on dangerous cases, I love having you home”

Reid decided to address the elephant in the room, something he realized embarrassingly slowly when he tried to move and realized his body was swaying.

“Why ‘m I chained up?” He seemed scared.

Jason jumped to unhook him, it was more uncaring than he intended. He didn't bring the chain down from the air, just unhooked the cuffs letting Reid fall.

“BDSM, you remember what that is, right?”

Reid couldn't nod. He had tensed ever since hitting the floor. He let out a large exhale, a pained one. His hunched figure hid the tears that silently fell but the rest of his body language showed enough.

He didn't land but his ankle still took the blow.

Jason let himself smile since Reid couldn't see it. He forced it to go away before he knelt down in view.

“Fuck, baby, I'm sorry, you usually like it when I drop you. Fuck I should've realized you were too hurt not to. I'm really sorry, I keep forgetting your concussed and have amnesia” he urgently apologized,

“Hurts,” he cried, holding his ankle.

Jason gently moves his hand to get a good look, Reid would be able to diagnose himself but the tears blurred his vision too much. He wasn't sure if he still liked BDSM anymore, amnesia can change a person, he knew, he hoped Jason would understand.

This hurt.

Falling hurt.

His arms were uncomfortably sore from being raised.

“It's not broken, twisted though. Shh, it's okay, doll, it's okay, I'll go get you ice, okay?” Reid sheepishly nodded. He felt cold and alone, he wanted Jason back. It was too dark in the assumed basement for his liking. He trembled with pain and fear until he came back. The promised ice went immediately on his ankle, he had stopped crying at some point but Jason continued to hug him.

He unwrapped his arms to get a plate that was on a room service tray.

A plate of waffles was put in front of him. It was still warm, homemade from the looks. Reid sniffled,

“I'm not hungry” he said calmly, the pain was overwhelming his need for food.

“Don't be like that, eat” Jason prodded,

“I'm not hungry though, I don't want to eat yet. I'm sorry”

“Don’t be ungrateful. I do so much for you, I cooked this, eat it” Reid's eyes widened at the demanding time and guilt tripping tactic. “Please, just eat it. I've been stressed and taking care of you calms me and I just really want to take care of you” he sounded more desperate than mad now. It was enough that Reid shakily ate a forkful.

“I didn't poison it, doll” he laughed playfully, Reid forced a small smile as he ate the rest.

It became apparent that Jason wasn't going to leave until he finished it so he ate as fast as he comfortably could. Jason never looked away as he ate. It made him feel weird but he ignored it.

He was concussed and amnesic. It wasn't Jason' fault.

“Jason?” He said in such a small voice that the kidnappers' heart throbbed, “I.. I know you probably do a lot for me, but- I- please don't be mad. I don't think I like BDSM anymore.. It's scary and I feel in pain. Can we please stop? At least until I have my memories back”

“Course, doll, we don't have to do anything you don't want. C'mon, I'll bring you upstairs then, I'm assuming you wanna get out of this scary basement?” He spoke childishly, Reid couldn't help but nod.

He needed comfort.

Jason was giving it to him.

He held onto him as he was picked up and brought upstairs.

Chapter Text

On day one into Reid's kidnapping the team -minus Garcia- had watched hours worth of tapes. They didn't get anything particularly useful but there were some notable moments that helped profile him. He introduced himself as Jason to every victim, he clearly never expected these to leave his possession because he didn't care about hiding his identity.

“No, no, no, you're not good! You're not doing it like he would!”

“Like who would?” The first victim had tried to cooperate, he really did, but he wasn't understanding what was being asked. “Please, I'll be like him, just tell me how”

He never got the chance to try again.

The second victim was much different personality wise from the first. The sad look wasn't natural like Reid's natural puppy dog eyes, it was from years of depression bundling inside, not so hidden but none of his peers had taken notice. He didn't last nearly as long but that was his choice. He hadn't tried to play into the fantasy, he hardly tried to fight.

Jason genuinely seemed saddened by the fact his fantasy wasn't playing out by the third.

“Why can't people be like him?” It was rhetorical, but the victim tried his shot and asked anyway.

“Who?” It was small and hesitant, he was clearly worried about upsetting his bipolar captor.

“My baby, gosh, he was so sweet, so perfect. I met him in the metro, I was carrying a bunch of stuff and most of it was about to fall, but he helped me. When we got on the metro he even helped me reorganize my stuff so it would be easy to carry. He talked with me the whole time, he made it seem like no problem at all. He was so kind, so pretty too. We saw each other for around a week after that interaction. He was so shy, he seemed so awkward talking to me but once we started he calmed down”

“What uh.. what happened to him?”

“He stopped coming. A whole week I visited the metro and he didn't show up. It was then that I realized I needed him. I should've done something sooner, made sure he knew I loved him. He left and is gone, I saw his badge one time, he works for the FBI. I don't know anything else, I don't know how to find him. If this doesn't bring him to me, then I don't know what I'll do. I need him back” he seemed close to tears but shook his head and took a breath. “But it's no matter. In the meantime I'll use you as my replacement. He would make such a pretty plaything, would you?”

Morgan felt disgusted. He was an expert on obsession crimes, love at first sight was common with these types of unsubs, especially for those with fragile mindsets. Poor Reid had no idea he had been targeted by a stalker for a week straight. Their work was unexpected, there wasn't a way to tell when they would have to suddenly leave. That was probably what happened in the absence Jason describes. If he had continued to go to the metro after the week was up then he would've seen Reid back there. He took it everyday to go to work, obviously the only exception was when they were out of state, which was usually never long.

In hindsight, it was a miracle Jason gave up after a week. If he ran into Reid when he came back from out of state then there was no telling how he'd react. Reid either would've been kidnapped without there being a case or Jason would confront him asking why he was gone for so long and just continue to stalk him from afar.

Neither scenario was good, one was worse but the second was bound to end up like the first one eventually.

On the second day of the kidnapping, the first tape of Reid was sent anonymously by some homeless guy who was willing to do the simple task for the high price of twenty dollars. The sender had been wearing a mask and the homeless guy wasn't one to ask questions if it meant he could get some money. The FBI couldn't blame him, they just wished they had an actual lead. Him sending the tape told them one thing at least. Jason was getting cocky.

He hadn't sent the tapes to the police before. The police had found it while storming a suspect's place. The suspect went by a different name with a fake id. The house they stormed was a secondary location, it was void of furniture except for a tape player, TV, tissues, and lube. There were enough stains that showed the unsub clearly didn't care to use the tissues, they were only there to clean up the mess afterwards.

It wasn't his actual spot, just the place he went to rewatch the tapes. When the police stormed the place, he hadn't been there. But now he knew the police and FBI were on his trails, he had an agent all to himself.

He was taunting them.

On the tape, they saw Reid’s pale skin tainted with dried-slightly wiped blood. He was in bed, not chained from the looks. The curtains were dark enough to effectively block any ounce of sun but they were pulled open to help wake Reid up.

The curtains told the team he planned or already had used the curtains to manipulate Reid's sense of time. There not being any clocks -which there wasn't in frame at least- or sun meant that with enough confidence he could make Reid think he's been there longer or shorter than he actually had been.

Reid’s hair was crusted with red and he looked almost sad when he woke but he didn't try to fight like they expected.

“He's probably playing into the unsubs fantasy, ensuring his survival so we can save him” Emily suggested. Reid was always good at manipulating unsubs with emotion.

“Morning, doll” the unsub had cooed, handing Reid a cup of coffee. He seemed hesitant when he got handed the cup, he didn't inspect it though. Maybe he was trying not to draw suspicion, Rossi assumed.

“I should brush my teeth first-”

“Drink, c'mon please, don't let this be like the waffle incident. Drink it, just a few sips. Your taste may have changed since your memory loss, so I want to make sure you still enjoy how I make it for you”

The team felt their blood run cold.

Memory loss.

Reid nodded sheepishly and drank.

“It tastes good” he said genuinely, nodding happily, he even took a few more sips. The hot liquid was nice, he felt like it had been forever between now and the waffle. He was bedridden due to his ankle and head injury, unfortunately Jason was apparently out most of the day so he couldn't eat.

“Really? You really like it?”

“I do, it's been a while since I had dark coffee.. or uh- at least I think it's been?” He laughed slightly, “it feels like it's been.” Jason chuckled,

“I'm glad, it took a lot of strokes to provide it. I hope it was worth the effort, my hand got so tired. Let's just say the cream was.. half and half” Reid showed no signs of knowing what those implications meant. Jason had said it easily, in such a calm and light tone that it didn't give anything away.

The team felt different waves of uneasiness and disgust. Morgan felt anger somewhere under the other two emotions. It was just the safest one to focus on so he didn't realize how terrible he felt.

“I don't remember if I used half and half, but considering you said ‘if I still know how to make it' I'm assuming I did, or at least with you. Either way, I can't tell if it’s the creamer or coffee brand but it does taste good, thank you. I'm sorry I can't be any help” he gestured to his ankle that the team hadn't realized was bandaged and in a brace.

“It's no worries, Spencer. You've been through a lot, and now you're put through even more because I was too rough. I'll never forgive myself for giving you amnesia or twisting your ankle. Making you coffee is the least I could do”

The tape ended when Jason pulled Reid into a kiss. Despite the fact Reid was amnesiac and was told they were boyfriends, he wasn't seen kissing back. Something in him didn't let him enjoy the kiss, just like somewhere in the back of his mind a voice told him not to drink anymore of the coffee.

He didn't know why, but he listened to that part. If not subconsciously than anything else.

Reid was fed one meal that day and it was dinner. Jason carried him to the table despite his insistence that he could walk with help.

“I could've helped you make it” he said sadly, he hated feeling useless. He hated being a burden and based on everything his boyfriend apparently did for him, that's what he was being. Jason sighed, not particularly upset thankfully.

“I was hoping if one thing changed with your memory loss, it would be your guilt for ‘making me do everything’, trust me Spencer, I enjoy this. I have control issues, this is a good way for me to indulge. You also don't have a good reputation for taking care of yourself, so this is best for both of us. If it really makes you feel better, you can help me cook tomorrow,” Reid had fiddled his fingers the whole time Jason was encouraging him, he was starting to understand. This was a healthy relationship, Jason had a good way to take out his need for control and Reid got taken care of because apparently he was bad at that.

“I would like that,” he said calmly.

They had mashed potatoes and meat because Jason claimed he needed something light in his stomach after a concussion.

In reality, it was because he hadn't eaten for more than nineteen hours and he would throw up if given something too heavy. Jason hated throw up but luckily something as perfect as Reid wouldn't do something so disgusting.

Chapter Text

“How are you?” Emily was just trying to help, Morgan knew this, but he couldn't help but feel even more annoyed at the question.

“Pissed. Like there should be more for us to do. Like Reid doesn't deserve to go through what's happening to him. He.. he made him-” he killed that sentence before he could fully remember what was in that coffee, “his memories? What if he doesn't remember us and says he wants to stay there?”

“He won't get to. Jason murdered three men and tortured them. They found a targeted fourth but Reid had gotten his attention before the guy could be taken. He's going to do time one way or the other, we have hard evidence it was him. Reid will have no choice but to come with us,” it wasn't entirely reassuring, “He'll remember. Some amnesia is only temporary, we'll get him back”

It was the same thing that all had been telling themselves since he got kidnapped.

They'll get him back.

But would it be him?

Amnesic or not, he would be traumatized. The amnesia just made things worse by adding another layer of distance between them. Reid had a habit of pushing people away when upset or hurt and now he wouldn't even remember them. Morgan doubted he would open up to strangers.

Even if the ‘strangers’ were his team.

And boyfriend.

Morgan felt useless, Reid was being tortured by an obsessive stalker and he couldn't do anything. Yet. Hopefully soon.

Reid had been loopy the majority of the day. Jason had given him over-the-counter medicines for his head and ankle and the side effects of one was drowsiness. He had been in and out of it all day, so much so that he forgot that he hadn't actually eaten or drank anything yet. He had no idea what time it was, he realized he hadn't actually looked through the window since arriving and there were no clocks.

Reid stumbled out of bed. It took a lot of effort to walk with one leg out of commission but he managed. The window was right there, he'd just peek behind the blackout curtains and have a good estimation on the time. Before his hands could grip the curtain he almost fell. His attention had been immediately redirected to staying upright that he hadn't opened the curtain before the door did.

Jason's pleased look left his face immediately, he put the cup he was holding on the nightstand and called out to his boyfriend.

“What are you doing? You need rest to regain your strength and recover, you can't be out of bed” he had hurried over and was already helping Reid back to bed.

“I'm sorry, I was just trying to see around what time of day it is,” he said, softly groaning with the pressure of laying back down. The man tsked half-fondly, it was hard to tell the true intentions of it but Reid would assume since he hadn't actually done anything wrong that it was meant to be playful.

“It's almost midnight” it was a lie, but Reid didn't know that.

“I slept that long? I don't remember waking up today” he mumbled, eyes already closing now that he was back in his comfortable bed. He wasn't aware what day it was, which probably would've been a good thing to keep track of as a concussed person. It was day three and only the evening but he didn't know that.

The team had gotten a tape moments after it was filmed based on the time tracked on the recording. It was filmed the same day and only an hour before it was in the hands of the FBI. It was delivered by a different homeless person.

It took place moments after Reid got back into bed. The unsub spoke, telling him to stay awake and that the reason he didn't remember was simply because of his injuries and amnesia. He said he woke up multiple times but was incoherent each time (which wasn't true) and couldn't keep solid food down so Jason had been making smoothies and milkshakes.

The liquid in the cup was dark red. For a moment, Reid thought it could be beet or pomegranate. But then Jason's demeanor changed and he didn't hide the bulge that quickly formed in his pants. Reid was hesitant, he wasn't sure why Jason was aroused but seeing as they were dating and it was natural, he didn't see a reason to comment on it. He was too injured to do anything like that anyways so likely nothing would be asked of him.

“Drink this blood, doll” he cooed lowly.

Blood.

It could be passed for blood but surely it wasn't actually. This was just some sick fantasy, Jason wanted to act like it was blood. Reid’s stomach curled uncomfortably.

“I..I said I didn't want to do anymore BDSM things,”

“You don't get a say, doll. You're mine. You're my plaything. This isn't a scene, this is how things should be. I was just being nice because you were hurt but you've pushed the limit. Stop being an ungrateful bitch. You aren't supposed to act like this! Now drink!” The cup was shoved into his hand, some of it splashed onto him. Being so close to the cup, the metallic smell was back.

When did it start? He smelt a strong amount like this somewhere (multiple times). He still did, he realized it had been lingering since the moment he woke up.

Of course Reid had forgotten about being dumped with blood. By now it had all but dried and Jason had wiped barely with a damp rag what would be noticeable on his hands and arms. Reid had woken up like that and hadn't seen a mirror since, he hadn't thought anything of it. Seeing the splashed blood wet his skin, it looked all too familiar with the dried edges that had faintly remained.

He was covered in blood, he realized. That was why he felt sticky and gross.

“Drink, before I lose my patience again” his voice was a lot softer, it wasn't exactly gentle, just not raised anymore. “Drink it now!” He slammed his hand on the nightstand and Reid instinctively jerked the cup towards his lips to comply.

But then he realized what he was about to do. He was about to drink human blood from a cup. Jason was getting angry and he was too confused.

He took gulps. The obvious demand to drink all of it hadn't needed to be said.

Focus on facts. Not the taste of the likely spoiled blood running down his throat and traumatizing his taste buds.

Multiple things had stood out in Jason's earlier rant.

‘Pushed the limit’.. what did he do? He didn't think he was acting any different. It might've been because he finally questioned things, before he would go along with whatever. Jason didn't like having to say something twice.

‘Not supposed to act like this’ the sentence stood out to him particularly, he had a feeling he would've known why if he had his memories but seeing as he didn't, it just left him with a feeling of loss and confusion. It was right on the tip of his brain, but he couldn't make the connection.

He hadn't noticed he was crying until he choked on blood. There was only a fourth of the way left but Jason pulled the cup away from his lips and made soft noises of affirmation. Reid shook.

A hand was quickly clasped over his mouth when he physically gagged. The grip was tight and blocked any way to breathe through his mouth.

“Do not throw up.”

He tried to steady his breath through his nose, he closed his eyes tightly and tried to focus on anything but the feeling climbing up his throat.

“If you throw up I will you make you do worse things that I swear will have you crying in pain”

Reid managed to calm down eventually. He felt disgusted with himself but reciting books to himself from memory had done the trick. He nodded his head and evened his breathing to show he was okay and could be let go. Jason did so with little hesitance.

“Sorry” he apologized just to get in the man's good graces.

“Aw, it's okay, Spencer. Everyone's first time is like that, you'll get used to it”

Reid was left alone the rest of the night like that. It has only been around fourish-five p.m when it happened, of course, he was convinced it was midnight. He made a small noise of disgust and sadness and slowly laid back down.

To the outside audience he didn't know he had, it looked like he was dissociating. Maybe he was. This was one of the best ways for him in particular too. But he played chess in his head. He had a good enough memory to remember everything about the set up, and when he moved it in his head, he could see it moved.

He occupied himself like this for hours. The tape only caught forty minutes of it before Jason snuck his way back into the room and stood close enough to seemingly turn it off. Reid was too out of it to notice any of it.

Jason kept the tape to himself for who knows how long before transporting it because there was vague whiteness on the black object. It had clearly been wiped off.

Jason had clearly been…

The thought of anyone, let alone the person who currently had Reid, watching the tapes and getting off to them disgusted Morgan. He felt sick. Maybe it was because he just saw his boyfriend drink blood unwillingly and then dissociate, but the knowledge that that bastard genuinely enjoys what he did made him sick with the plague.

Garcia had learned quickly that as much as she wanted to be there for Reid, she couldn't stomach watching any of the tapes, she always had her back turned or looking down. She was always present though, she needed to know. Sometimes she would peek behind her fingers but then quickly regret it. The rest of the group wished they could do the same. Technically the case could be passed to another team, Hotch could make the point that they were all too close with the victim. But he'd be damned if he let that happen and his agents wouldn't agree. This was the rare time Strauss let them stay despite their relation.

Rossi turned off the TV so the sight of Reid in the background staring off blankly and the known unsub wasn't the only thing they looked at.

“So, did we notice anything?” Hotch tried to urge them back to work.

“Reid looked like he had an idea. He had that look in his eye like he usually does when he noticed something about a case” Rossi was grateful for something to do. JJ picked up on where he was going, she had noticed it too.

“I don't think he realizes what he's remembering though. His environment is purposely confusing, I think he definitely connected something but he doesn't know what yet”

They dissected the video in any way they could without having to watch it a second time.

Chapter Text

this fic is not abandoned! I swear, I'm almost done with whumptober, I'll be getting to this as soon as I'm done. This might be my last year participating in Whumptober cuz damn this has been a lot of work 😭 either way, I hope you all continue to look forward to the rest of the chapters!