Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You approach the Head Housemaiden. Everyone else had something new to say! Everyone else had changed! You were closer, you were loved! This was it! It had to be!

It was all over, you just...

You just had to talk to her.

And you do. You approach, greeting her warmly, happily, and her response is

exactly

the same

as always.

It strikes you through harder than the King's first attack. You nearly stumble, the air disappearing from your lungs. No, no, this had to be it, why wasn't it it, it had to be, why was it the same-

She sobs, and it's the same as it always is.

You just about cry with her.

And then a voice cuts through your panic.

"Siffrin?"

You can turn your head, but you can't manage to shift your expression.

Odile?

"Something wrong?"

A sweet smells is overwhelming your senses. The Head Housemaiden's words are familiar, easy and tempting to ignore. Reality is staggering.

Your family is crying out. Their words cut through the cotton in your ears.

"Siffrin! Something's wrong!"

"SIF!!"

"Frin, come back!"

Come back? You aren't going anywhere, your feet are heavy against the ground. You couldn't move even if you wanted to. And you desperately want to.

Your friends, your family, are rushing towards you.

Your heart is hammering. Move, move-

The Head Housemaiden's words clog the air just like that smell. It's all happening so fast and yet you experience it in slow motion.

You're stuck in place, and yet you feel like you're going to float away.

Isa's reaching for you.

His hand

stretched

desperately.

Will he touch you, this time?

Through the molasses moment, you mirror him, hand raising.

The Head Housemaiden is nearing the end of her script.

You are afraid.

You choke around a lump in your throat.

Your feet are heavy. Just move, meet him halfway-

He's reaching for you

but he won't make it on his own.

You know, in your heart, that he can't. That the scene is too far along to stop now. Everything tingles and buzzes and yet still it feels like the second has stretched thin, long.

Your feet are heavy.

But somehow, somehow, you move.

A single step is all you manage........but it's enough. His hand grasps your own. The weight and weightlessness join and he pulls you, off the ground, into his chest.

The buzzing is louder. Your nerves are shutting off. But you feel it.

You feel the others, not far behind him, join.  Mira on your left. Odile on your right. Bonnie, behind.

They're shouting your name. They're shouting. You can't pick out any word but your name.

They wrap, tightly, around you, folded tight, you, safe in the middle.

You're afraid.

They're afraid.

You shouldn't be! They're here! They love you! You are loved! In this moment and for so long before, you are loved!

You can't breath. The sickeningly sweet smell is clogging everything. You can't hear them, the buzzing is too loud. Despite how they hold you, you know you're about to disappear.

You can't! You can't go back to before! You can't go back to before you were family! You can't, you can't do it-

You feel a tug

"Don't leave me don't leave me don't leAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME-"

on your

"PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!"

stomach.

Your eyes open in a motion and moment hauntingly practiced. You still jolt.

You're back.

You're

back.

.....you really thought that was it, didn't you? You really thought it was over? You really thought, after all that, that it would be that simple?

Because it had to be, didn't it? Surely, surely if you were loved, it would fix everything. It would fix you. That them holding you in place would keep you from flying back to the start?

An anchor. An anchor, chain severed from you, sunk down to the deep. You, floating off without them.

And you're

alone.

Alone......?

The thought brings a pressure behind your eyes. You nearly cry, which startles you. You can't cry, you won't be able to stand the look on Mira's face if she sees you distraught when she comes to wake you.

But....but I'm....

That's not right.....?

You swallow the emotion down, forcefully. It's fine. You're fine. You tried it, it didn't work, you're fine. It...hurts. It hurts knowing they won't remember the times you shared. Its agonizing knowing they're all so uncertain again. But there's more things to try. You can't just sit here and be useless because if you do you'll never get out of this. You'll all be trapped forever.

Get...out?

Why is-

You squeeze your eye shut. Your thoughts are weirdly scattered, this time. Scattered and slow. Sluggish. Your head pounds.

But you can't let that stop you. Even with a broken heart, you can't just stop and mourn.

There's not enough time for that.

You brace your palms against the ground, and push yourself up.

And then the silence shatters.

() I-I didn't, I didn't do that?! ()

[] Woooahhhh what's going on- []

{} I DIDN'T MOVE MY ARMS WHY ARE THEY DOING THAT!!! {}

<> Siffrin?! <>

You fall, arms slipping out from under you, back thudding back against the grass. Your eye goes wide, wide, gaze darting. You aren't in control of its movement??

You wanted to get up but all of a sudden you can't move.

<> Everyone, I hear you all! Where are you?! I can't see you! <>

[] M'dame! I'm...on the ground? []

{} Hey, I'm on the ground too! {}

() Bonnie?! Is everyone here?! Why can't I see you, wh-what's going on!! ()

Your breathes come sharp and quick. Why do they sound so close?! Are they here?! Are they next to you?

Are you not alone, after all?

[] Sif! We're here! We're here Sif! []

That's Isa's voice. That's Isa, Isa's here, you just need to get up or turn your head and see him and everything will be fine-

You turn your head, to the right, and-

() O-oh change why did- ()

<> .....that's not where I was trying to look. <>

Your head jerks in the opposite direction. Your blind side.

Something in your stomach clenches.

Your family voices confusion, collectively, speaking all at the same time. You can't make out any of it, because the buzzing in your ears is back.

You didn't see anyone else, when you turned your head in either direction.

Your breathes come quicker. You're trembling. There's a sluggishness in your limbs, not just your mind. Their voices are so close. Closer than they'd be if they were laying with you in the grass.

Something is wrong. Something is wrong. Something is wrong its wrong-

You don't try to push yourself up again. Instead, you shakily raise your hands into your line of sight.

The voices go deathly quiet.

<> .....Siffrin. <>

That's Odile's voice. That's Odile. Odile isn't next to you so if you can hear her then-

You tremble. You tremble as you watch your hands move on their own, turning over, clenching, unclenching. You can feel a palpable wave of disbelief and unease flow through you, only partially your own.

The next person to speak confirms what you fear.

[] Those........those aren't my hands. []

"Nonononono....no....no no no what's happening-" You stammer out. Your heart is racing and your breaths are coming too fast and your family's voices are in your head and they're seeing though your eyes-

{} We're in Frin's head?!?! {}

() S-Siffrin, breathe, please- ()

But you can't. You can't you can't everything is wrong they're trapped with you and this isn't what you wanted-

Your stomach tugs.

Your eyes jolt open anew and you haven't moved from your spot in the grass. You try to breathe.

() Wh-what was that?! ()

They're still here. Looping didn't fix it. You're stuck they're trapped it's all wrong-

[] Sif! It's ok, you need to breath! []

It's not it's not you can't breath you're suffocating in your shame-

Go back.

{} Frin!! Stop it, that feels bad!! {}

You're still here they're still here-

<> Y-you need to calm down, please! <>

Start again.

() Siffrin!! ()

[] Sif breathe- []

Start again!

Your arm flails under one of their control. You can't breathe you can't breath and they'll hate you for this-

A TUG ON YOUR STOMACH

Your heart races and you feel

a hand

smack your chest.

It's not your own effort, but it's your hand. It pushes, down, against the fabric of your cloak.

You're still breathing too fast to take in much oxygen....but something about the pressure grounds you. You can feel the racing heartbeat hammering beneath your palm.

The voices that come to you in that brief pause are softer, this time.

[] Just breathe, Sif. Just breathe. []

{} We're here Frin! It's gonna be fine!! {}

<> Slow down, just a little. <>

You try. You try. You're hyperventilating and it feels out of control but you can try. For them. For them. They're here. They're here.

() In.........and out. ()

In, out, in, out, in...out in out......in.....out.

In, and out. You breathe. You breathe.

You can breathe.

The hand on your chest presses down a little harder. Your pulse is still quick...but less so, now.

You take a forceful, deep breath, and it cleanses your palate, so to speak.

The hand not on your chest digs into the grass. You did that, this time.

You exhale, slowly, and hoarsely you speak. "....I'm ok."

() Mmmmmnnnn.... ()

[] He's better! That counts. What can we do to...help you more? []

<> I don't think we're in much place to...do anything to help beyond what we can do verbally. <>

They're close. They're calm. They care about you. You're here. They're here.

They're....here.

{} Nuh-uh Dile, we can do this too! {}

The hand on your chest lifts up, and then moves to pat your...neck?

{} Wait no- {}

It moves further up, smacking you in the face. Or, almost. You see it almost make contact, but clearly Bonnie does too, because they course-correct to hit their mark immediately after.

Your own hand pats your forehead gently.

{} It's ok Frin! I super promise! {}

You manage a smile. It's funny and you want to laugh, but that's a bit beyond you. "Thanks, Bonbon."

You can just tell that they smile back. You can't see or hear them, but you know.

You spend another quiet moment to get your bearings, but then you sigh. "I....don't know how you guys are doing it, but can I have full control of my...body? Back? For a second. So I can get up."

The embarrassment is clear in all words that follow.

() Oh change we are just- ()

[] Oh oops. []

{} Oh CRAB, sorry Frin!! {}

The hand patting your head goes slack, and you sigh quietly again. This time, when you move into a sitting position, there's no panicked shouting to stop you.

When you try to stand, though, your legs are wobbly. Your arms stretch out for balance. Not you again, but it's appreciated so you don't comment. Carefully you walk to the edge of the clearing and lean against a tree. You can see the tiny twinkling star, off to the side, but you ignore it in favor of sliding back down to the ground.

Another sigh, as you press your back into bark. "I.....don't know why this happened. Do...do any of you?" You ask aloud, but you know from context clues that the answer is probably a resounding no.

Odile's the first to answer.

<> No, but I certainly have questions. Many of them. Are you in sound enough mind to answer, Siffrin? <>

You want to laugh. 'Sound mind' was a funny concept considering....well. The number of voices in your head. There's a pun in there somewhere, you're sure.

You hear Isa snicker. Mira's laugh is more mirthless.

But, verbally, there's only one correct response. "Depends what the questions are."

She sighs, at that.

<> I'll start with the most pressing, aside from...our presence in your mind. If we beat the King, how did we get here? One moment we were all together atop the House, and...now we're in the field you were sleeping in? <>

Your chest goes tight. You'd gone to decent lengths to avoid telling any of them this. But...they're your family, now, and you can't bear to lie to them. Not when they remember, too. Your breath is shuddering. "It's....not that we just changed locations. It's....it's yesterday, again. Before we went into the House."

() It's WHAT?! ()

[] Are you- []

{} That makes no sense, Frin!! {}

<> Explain, please. Do you know how? <>

The part of the truth that is most painful. "I've been.....stuck. In a time loop. For....well, I haven't been keeping track of how long it's been cumulatively. But I've been here a while. Yeah."

<> .....time loop. And before now you were the only one who remembered? <>

Once again your chest clenches in shame. "....yes. Just me."

<> How did it start? <>

"That's what I've been trying to figure out for....well, since it started, really. Don't have a lot of leads yet. I thought it would be over when we beat the King, but...." You trail off, and hope you don't have to elaborate.

It's Mira who speaks up next.

() How...how many time have we won, so far? ()

You can hear the stress in her tone. You answer honestly. "That last one was the third time. He...beat us twice before that, though."

() O-oh change. ()

She sounds horrified. You don't blame her. It's part of why you'd been trying to keep this to yourself all this time. You've failed so much for so many reasons, and had you not been trapped, Vaugarde would be doomed a dozen times over. You can't imagine how they feel about you, now.

Or-

[] Sif, we don't blame you for anything. I doubt this is your fault. []

Wait. You hadn't said anything. Why did he-

Oh. Oh wait.

They can hear your thoughts. They've been replying to your nonverbal sentiments this whole time.

They can hear your thoughts! They can hear your thoughts!!!

Immediately your breathes start to quicken again. No no no if they can hear your thoughts they'll hate you-

{} No we WON'T stupid!! {}

They will they will they'll hear every little bad thought you have-

[] E-everyone has thoughts they don't mean sometimes, Sif! It's ok!! Really!! []

But yours are bad they're so bad everyone will think you're-

A hand smacks into your chest again. Once again the pressure startles you into grounding. Your other hand grabs around for....your hat? And pulls it off your head.

You're looking at it. You. You fight with whoever did that for control so you can put it back. You want to hide. You want to pull your knees up, head down, be nothing but your darkless clothes for all anyone would see of you.

That wouldn't fix anything. They're not looking at you from the outside in.

Either way, whoever is holding your hat doesn't let you do anything with it.

<> Siffrin. You need to calm down. Breathe again. Slowly. <>

Straight to the point. You try. It's not as easy as last time.

{} Heyfrin, do you need to scream? {}

It's unexpected enough of a question that your spiral slows. "...what??"

{} Sometimes, sometimes, you need to scream and it makes you feel better! Gets the bad feelings out of your brain! {}

You....you have done that, before. Once or twice. But you can't do that in front of your family, they'll think you're being immature, or dramatic, or-

<> You are being dramatic, for thinking we'll judge you so harshly for every single thing you think you're doing wrong. <>

THEY CAN HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS, STUPID!!!!!

The panic spikes in your chest again, and you wrench control of your hand back and scream into your hat. The sound is hoarse, muffled, maintained for a solid fifteen seconds.

But once you're done, you feel less of the anxious energy from before.

You still flush a little, in shame.

[] It's ok, Sif, really. We promise. []

() We do! We care about you and we're going to keep helping you as much as we can! ()

Because they have no other choice.

{} Uh, no! Because we want to and we love you!! Duh!!! {}

You want to cry.

You don't. Your hands clench into your hat instead. You focus on breathing, calm yourself.

Blessedly, your family lets you do it without interrupting. You try not to mourn your lack of future brain silence.

When you've had enough of the current brain silence, though, you speak up. "A-any other questions, Odile?"

<> ....we don't have to discuss everything, right now. If we're stuck in a time loop then...we have plenty of time. <>

"You don't have to put it off, I'm still good to talk."

<> I don't quite believe you. But since you're offering...what do you know, so far? Give us a basic rundown on how this time loop works? <>

You've discussed this at length with Loop, so it's easy to repeat the basics. "It starts when I wake up from my nap, and ends when I talk to the Head Housemaiden. Or...if I die before I get to her."

[] Die...? Sif, how many times have you... []

You cringe. Every time, aside from the three times you've beaten the King. Most of them were painless tear deaths, but you aren't sure how reassuring they'll find that.

You remember abruptly, again, that they can hear your thoughts. You'd wanted to break that news carefully but you'd just thoughtlessly thought it so now they knew how bad you were at your job!

() That's not- Siffrin that's not something any of us think! ()

{} Y-you died a lot of times and you think we'll be mad at you?! No!! We just don't want you to be dead!!! {}

You want to cry again.

<> ....but it isn't just those two things that restart it. <>

You lift your head a little. "....how would you know?" You say, harsher than you mean to.

She doesn't seem bothered by it, as she replies.

<> Earlier, when you realized where we were. You were panicking, and your stomach...clenched? I could feel the craft energy. Your position reset. I'm believing that then, you were trying to loop back, weren't you? <>

You...you were. That's what you'd been trying. That's what felt like the answer. If things were broken you had to go back to before they were. But the nature of whatever this was didn't allow it, so you'd just been stuck unknowingly doing it repeatedly until they'd grounded you.

You've never...

No. That had happened once. Unwittingly. When you'd called Bonnie out on eavesdropping and they'd screamed that they'd hated you.

It had felt insurmountable. Impassable. The end of the world. And the loop had just...happened. Sent you back a few minutes, to before you'd broken it.

Your chest hurts.

{} ......I wouldn't do that. {}

You squeeze your eyes shut. Bonnie shouldn't have to hear this. They deserve better-

{} I wouldn't!! I wouldn't ever say I hate you cuz that's not true!! {}

You swallow.

[] H-hey, let's talk about something else, alright? []

You take the chance to change the subject eagerly. "Yes, please. Uh...anyone other than Odile have questions?"

You hear humming. Mira begins.

() I'm uh...guessing the looping thing is how you knew about that key in the classroom, right? Did we miss it the first time? ()

Once more you cringe. "Yeah. We got super stuck the first time. There's a lot of places we got super stuck, honestly."

() Is that what you meant by...um. You mentioned the tears? ()

You breathe in, and out. "Touching the tears freezes you in time, and...I touched one on accident the first time, which showed me I could use it." You avoid thinking about it in any more detail than that. "It's painless but it counts as dying? So it lets me loop. The only readily available alternative is dying in battle. Aside from the King, that's only happened twice."

() Well thank change for that. I-if it weren't for you looping, we would never have made it to the King in the first place! ()

You're also the reason none of those wins stuck, so you can't really feel proud of it.

[] Sif.... []

You breathe deep, and finally set the hat back on your head. "Question, Isa?" You prompt.

He hesitates.

[] I...don't know if it's important. I don't wanna put you on the spot. []

"Just ask, Isa, I don't mind."

[] .....you. Um. Thought about someone named Loop? Who are they? []

You hesitate, too. Honestly, the little information you have on them makes it a difficult question for even you to answer.

But you try. Because you have to.

[] No you don't- []

"But I should. They...showed up, after the first time I looped. They said there were here to help me and...they have? Kinda? They're annoying but they remember the loops like I do so they're helping me keep track of all the information."

<> Did you not say earlier that you were the only one who remembered? <>

You suck air through your teeth. "I wasn't...saying that to lie, I just...didn't know how to bring them up. They're weird to talk about. And..."

Hard to admit it to them out loud, but easy enough to think it. They don't seem to like your family. They seemed to outright hate the idea of meeting them, as far as you could figure. They were impossible for you to read; you could be wrong about that.

But you don't think you are.

[] Oh. I see. Uh...sorry, I guess? []

You grip your wrist tightly. "You don't need to feel sorry for me about that. Whenever I bring it up they get avoidant...and it just wastes time we could be using to figure things out."

You breathe deeply, again. "...but I should definitely go see them later this loop. They might know how you guys got here in the first place. Or at least they can help figure it out. That's what they're for."

[] Mm-hm, mm-hm. Sounds like a good place to start! []

Another deep breathe. You didn't feel as scared as you did before, to your surprise. You'd...been desperate for something to change. And something had.

It's a terrible thing to be relieved by, but you are. They're here with you. They never were before.

You startle as your hand raises against your will.

{} Can I ask a question too? {}

Your eye widens. "O-of course you can! Definitely, Bon."

{} Ok!! Uh. Can you say what 'time loop' means again? I didn't really get it. {}

You manage a smile. "The same two days keep happening to me over and over. Just me. No one else remembers. Don't know why yet."

{} Hmmmmmmmmm. Ok. Why didn't you tell us about it? {}

Your brows bunch in confusion. "I...did? I'm telling you right now-"

{} No, I mean yesterday! Yesterday-tomorrow! We woulda wanted to help! {}

You don't think they could've. It's a nice thought, but-

<> Siffrin, you underestimate us a little. <>

{} Yeah, Dile can figure it out! Dile's smart!! {}

But none of them should've had to worry about it. You're not particularly hung up about it now that they do know, but...it would've made every loop more stressful for them. You didn't want to do that so you didn't.

[] .....Siffrin. You struggling alone is not better than the alternative. []

Fullnamed by Isa. That's how you know he means it. You bury your face in your hands and groan. "I never said I was good at this." You protest.

A single, subdued laugh from Mira.

...they want to help you. Of course they want to help you. And now that looping doesn't reset their memories, they can.

You thought helping them was the answer, the trick you needed to make things change...and somehow, it was. Not in the way you expected, but that's par for the course at this point. Nothing gets to be easy for you.

For a moment, you feel that relief from before. But then some kind of unease creeps up on you, and your gaze slowly trails over to the meadow's exit.

() Is something wrong? ()

{} What're you looking at Frin? {}

Your eye narrows, nervous, chest growing tight. What was-

You realize.

"...I've been awake for a while." You speak, soft, cautious.

<> ...is that abnormal? <>

"Mira, you....if I take too long after waking up to leave on my own, you come to wake me up yourself."

It takes a few moments to get a response.

() I come to.....but I'm....here, so... ()

She devolves into mumbling for a moment, anxiety creeping into her tone.

() B-but I'm....we're all in your body, so...so...so is there even..... ()

She wavers. She doesn't want to voice whatever thought she'd had.

Odile does for her.

<> What...state are our bodies in? If our minds are here, are they... <>

She, too, trails off. Your chest clenches, tight, fretful.

You'd stolen them unwittingly from their places. Minds separate from where they were meant to be.

If you walked out of this meadow, would you see their bodies empty husks?

Your heart starts to race again.

Your fist clenches, by one of their wills.

[] Mine. Whatever we see out there, we won't know until we go. So we should just...get it over with, I think, right? Face it so we don't worry for longer than we need to. []

You breathe in, and out. You stand. It's wobbly, like you're not the only one trying to use your legs. Isa apologizes, because he had been, on accident, and finally, you feel like your body is solely your own again.

You're still terrified of what you might find out there, but...

....at least you won't be facing it alone.

Chapter Text

You close your eye and settle your nerves against the star. Wouldn't hurt, to bolster yourself a little. Whatever calm you feel, the others do too, so the only one who questions it is Bonnie.

{} What's that? {}

"They're...loopy things. They represent spots I can loop back to. There's a bunch in the House, but there's one here too, because it's the starting spot. They also heal us all, which is nice." You tug on your collar a bit. "I don't really need to be healed right now, but...it can't hurt, right?"

{} Oh yeah, yeah. Makes your chest feel better. Since it keeps feeling bad when you're upset? {}

They're perceptive enough to notice that. You're not really surprised. "Exactly."

{} That's good then! Feel better, Frin! {}

You can't help the tiny laugh that escapes you.

() They were in the House? I don't remember seeing anything like that... ()

<> Neither do I. <>

[] I'm guessing only Siffrin could see them? Since it's a loop thing. []

You nod, even if you're not confident the gesture makes much sense in the current context; you're basically just nodding to yourself. "The first time I saw one you all looked at me funny about it. Since to you it probably just looked like I was staring at the floor."

<> Was the first one not this one? <>

You pause, a little bit confused. "What do you mean?"

<> None of us saw you until you left this meadow, so we wouldn't be here to see you find this one. Additionally, you said 'floor' and not 'ground', so the first time you saw one was in the House, correct? <>

She's ridiculously perceptive, and yet you have no idea where she's even going with this. Is she trying to make a point?

<> ....not sure myself. Maybe when I get more information I'll know what to do with it. <>

She pauses, lets out a huff of a breath. You find yourself hearing the noise in your mind, and also breathing out yourself. It's a bit disconcerting.

<> I miss my notebook. I'd be taking copious notes about all this if I had it. <>

"I'd buy you a new one." You offer immediately, but then you actually stop and think about it. "...if that kind of thing persisted between loops, which...I don't think it would." Another moment of thought. ".....and also if I had any money on me."

Your hand finds your only coin. You roll it between your fingers, absently.

[] You could probably borrow some from us! Th-that is, if you don't leave this meadow and find us all comatose... []

() P-please don't say that, I don't think I could handle the sight of that... ()

You shudder too. Never. Never never never, you never want to see them hurt. You refuse to let it happen.

But you still have to leave the meadow. You still have to face the day. Wasting away here all loop is just not an option.

So, you do. It's a short, too short walk to the town center. Your eyes lock first onto the Change God statue. Crossing the bridge usually makes Mira approach you.

You don't want to look in her direction, yet. So you stare at the ground as you cross.

...no one halts you. On autopilot, you walk right up to the Change God statue. And even once you're there, there is no voice calling good morning.

Something is definitely wrong. You steel yourself, and look up, towards the library.

Mira's on her bench.

She's not looking at papers.

You hear the Mira in your head gasp sharply, and you tremble.

You all can see the same thing.

Mira's body, unconscious, halfway fallen off the bench, papers strewn about on the ground.

() Nononononooo I don't like that I don't like that I don't like it- ()

Something shifts.

In an instant, the air trembles, and the next second Mira's body is sitting up, papers gathered in her lap like they're meant to be.

One second to the next, things righted. Oh. That happened with equipment in the house. Mira being passed out wasn't correct, so, the Universe fixed it....?

{} I'm dizzy! {}

<> That was...disorienting. Siffrin? <>

Right. Explanation. "Equipment persists between loops for...some reason? I honestly don't think about it too much." You say, quietly. You suppose you could be thinking this information at them rather than speak it...but for some reason that feels rude. "But when we go to the House the next loop they're still...there. And then reality rewrites or something and they disappear. Cuz. Y'know. We already have them." You pause. "So I'm guessing that's what just happened with Mira's body? Things are back to some kind of 'normal' state."

<> Fascinating... <>

() Ok, I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse! Who's making me move if I'm here?! A-are there two of me now?? ()

....wouldn't that be concerning? Two Mira's? All your party members doubled?

{} That's not allowed. There's not another me, I'm me! {}

......only one way to....find out, right? You have to talk to this Mira and see if everything's normal.

You stumble trying to take a step away from the statue.

() A-ah!! Sorry!! Sorry, I just...forgot those were your feet! ()

You sigh. You have no hard feelings about it, but you're sure you're going to eventually get irritated later if it happens too often. You could never live with yourself if you upset them by snapping though so you just have to make sure you don't get frustrated.

[] .......Sif you act like we'll hold a grudge against you for having feelings? That's a little bit worrying. []

{} Yeah!!! {}

They. Can hear your thoughts. Right. Right! Why do you keep forgetting that part?? You're forgetful normally but they're literally in your head so-

You stop, and breathe. It's fine. You're fine. Deal with it later. Mira's right over there so you need to talk to her and see what happens. Task number one.

Even with no one else in control but you, your feet still feel like lead.

She doesn't look up until you're right in front of her.

It jolts through you.

There's no light in her eyes. Everything was so subtly wrong. She held herself with less tension, she was a bit too animated as she sees you. Her finger was tracing a circle into her papers.

But when she speaks, and you forcibly tune back in to hear it, what she was saying was exactly what she was supposed to be. Her tone was perfect, the words were identical. "Hi Siffrin! Do you need anything?"

You can't find your voice for a moment. You don't want to spend any longer in her presence than necessary right now. The interaction is uncanny in every sense.

But you force yourself to at least say something, lest whatever this was catch on that you knew. "A-anything weird happen lately?"

The tremor is slight. You hope 'Mirabelle' doesn't notice.

"Something weird? U-um..."

She looks down at her papers. It's a far more obvious glance that it usually is.

() O-ok so I'm not normally that bad of an actor... ()

{} What're those papers about Belle? {}

() L-later... ()

You ignore everything but the Mirabelle in front of you.

"N-Nothing! Nothing's weird! Definitely not my papers!!!" She squeaks out, movements exaggerated but tone still usual. "D-DON'T LOOK AT THEM!!!"

You don't tease her about it. This felt fake. This felt like an act. Your nerves buzzed and you held your breath.

"...phew." She sighs quietly, after a few moments. Like your silence was her successfully hiding her papers from you, and not you being one wrong move away from bolting like a cornered animal.

"I-I gotta go." You say tensely. "See you tonight."

The light hits her eyes strangely, but then she closes them with a smile. "Okay! I'll see you later!"

You turn on your heel and stiffly walk away from her, head down.

[] .....inconclusive? []

<> No, Siffrin is right. That was bizarre. Something wasn't right. <>

() I-I was not fond of that. But....she did seem to be acting like I would, so...? ()

You need to head to the Favor Tree to talk to Loop, so you'd get to interact with Isabeau's body too, in a minute. Compare. See if they all acted slightly off.

[] Yeah, good call. See if any of us are outliers? []

<> Any good experiment needs multiple data sets before drawing conclusions. <>

You breath in, and out. Still fine. You were still fine. You just had to get to Loop and Loop would magically just know what was going on. They always acted like they did despite claiming otherwise.

[] Starting to get really curious what this Loop person is like. []

() What are they like? ()

Annoying, like you'd said earlier. But your answers didn't matter because in a minute they'd all get to see for themselves.

You ignore everything else again, a purpose in your steps. You arrive at your destination and approach 'Isabeau'.

He's lightly swaying, staring up at the Favor Tree.

You don't want to waste time with any preamble. So you clear your throat and say, "Hi Isa, I need to do the Favor Tree thing."

He turns to you with surprise on his face, but just like before with Mirabelle it's wrong. Like he was playing up his expression in an attempt to be more believable. Otherwise though, he actually seemed less emotive than usual, as opposed to Mirabelle who was more exaggerated.

There wasn't any light in his eyes, either.

He raises his hands in sheepish surrender, like he always does. "Oh! Sorry, I'm in your way then, aren't I? I'll get out of your hair, see you at the Clocktower!!!"

He jogs off, arms swinging. But his palms are open, instead of in fists like they usually are when he runs.

[] .......you notice stuff like that? []

They. They can hear your thoughts. They can definitely still hear your thoughts you were literally taking advantage of that a few minutes ago.

You clear your throat, awkward now that you've been called out. It's not weird that you notice things about your family, right? You pay lots of attention to them, they matter a lot to you. Of course you notice.

It's embarrassing that they know you do, though.

() O-oh, Siffrin, it's not! It's really nice that you like us that much! ()

{} Yeah! We're family! Nille and I notice stuff about each other all the time! {}

<> Of course. I know we make fun of you for being forgetful sometimes, but it's not surprising to us that you pay enough attention to pick up on things. <>

Isa doesn't add anything of his own, but you don't prompt him. It's fine. It's not really important, you need to see Loop. Loop time.

Your gaze turns towards them, and you approach slower than you'd like. Mostly just because you had the feeling that seeing them will be a shock, and you don't want your family overwhelmed.

Even still, there's a chorus of voices once they come into view.

[] .....o...oh. Oh?? []

{} Shiny........... {}

() I THOUGHT YOU WERE EXAGGERATING ABOUT THIS BEING SHOCKING- ()

<> That's not what I was expecting. Not even close. <>

It's weird being the knowledgeable one. But you can't dwell on it. A problem needs to be solved and ~helpful Loop~ is right over there.

You think very deliberately that you'd appreciate some silence from the peanut gallery, and step into the shade. They are all obediently silent.

Loop's eyes shine at you, that amused squint you've come to recognize. "Power of love didn't cut it, huh? Took you a while to calm down this loop. Or...past few loops? What was that about?"

You clear your throat, and sit down on the root across from them. "Loop."

They raise a brow at you. "Mm?"

"Do you know what happened? To my family?"

You're met with....confused blinking. "Excuse me?"

"My family. They're....."

All of a sudden you have no idea how to phrase this.

() We got....sucked into your head? You said 'stolen from our bodies' earlier and that was a good sentence! ()

You breathe. Yeah. "They're.....not in their bodies anymore. They're all in my head."

Loop is quiet. Really, really quiet.

Their expression is as difficult to read as always.

"They-"

"I heard you the first time."

".......and? Do you know what happened?"

".......I'm doubting anything happened, stardust."

Your brow furrows. "....well something must have. Otherwise-"

They cut you off with a raised hand. "Shush! Start from the beginning, alright? I have trouble seeing you past the third floor. What happened at the top of the House, last loop?" An eye roll. "Well. Last loop disregarding your panic attack in the field."

Right. Starting at the beginning is good. You can remember. You close your eyes as you recall. "Everyone...was saying different things, and...I went up to the Head Housemaiden. Excited. Like an idiot. And she didn't...say anything different."

{} You're not stupid, stupid! {}

You ignore Bonnie and press on. "And...and I froze. I felt awful. And...." Your chest tightens a little, at the recollection. "A-and the others noticed that something was wrong, this time."

"Did they now?" Remarks Loop, sounding intrigued. You can't tell if it's genuine.

"Th-they did. And they, Isabeau first, started running for me. And I couldn't move, I wanted to, but I couldn't, until.....I just did, somehow. I forced myself forward and....a-and they all caught me."

You wrap your arms around yourself. "B-but I could tell I was still going to go back. Them all holding me wouldn't stop it, and...." You open your eyes, but stare at the ground rather than Loop's face. "....and it didn't. I looped back. But now I can hear them talking in my head-"

() You were begging us not to leave, before you looped, too. ()

Oh. You'd forgotten. Good reminder. "A-also I was begging them not to leave while they were holding me. That happened too. And then I looped and now they're all stuck in my head."

You hear Loop hum. "Hm, hm, I see. Interesting."

You look up at them, seeing their closed eyes. You can't tell if they're actually thinking about it or if they're just mimicking what you'd been doing.

"....so? What happened?"

"You want my verdict?" They inquire, eyes popping open, gesturing to themself in a less grand gesture than you would've expected.

"........I asked for it?"

"Well then I was being rhetorical, stardust!" They cheer, like it was obvious. "I was going to tell you anyway whether you wanted me too or not~"

You hold in a sigh. If they're going to take forever to give you a response-

"Oh calm down, it's not like you're on a time limit or something. Imagine. Finite numbers."

() Can they read your mind too?? ()

You sure hope not, and they've claimed they can't. But if they could they could respond to Mira on their own, right?

You wait for them to do so. But they don't. Instead they deliver their verdict.

"I think these loops are finally driving you insane!"

They

they don't

believe you....?

"I. I can promise you they aren't, the others-"

"Stardust I just saw your fighter and he was perfectly normal and standing and walking around like an idiot. Just like every loop. They're not stuck anywhere."

{} Za's not stupid either!!! Frin the shiny person's RUDE!!!! {}

[] You call me stupid all the time???? []

{} Well YEAH cuz I KNOW YOU!!! But they don't so it's RUDE!!! {}

They are being rude! They are and you don't like it!! "Loop, I'm serious! There's something wrong with their bodies! They're moving around and talking and stuff but there's something wrong with how they're doing it!"

Loop lets out an exaggerated sigh. "Look, I'm sure this all sounds terribly convincing to you, but to me it sounds extremely circumstantial at best. You can't call your gut feelings evidence."

<> ......hm. They're not wrong about that part, unfortunately.... <>

You don't like that the voice in your head is agreeing that she doesn't exist!!! "Th-then how am I hearing them?! They're here and they're talking to me! We're having conversations!"

The look you're met with.....you hesitate, before identifying it as pitying. "Stardust....you've been through a lot. You're terribly lonely. And you're so allergic to the idea of talking to them about what you're going through that you've tricked yourself into believing they're already here to help you out."

You feel sick to your stomach. "That's-"

"I'm not here to therapize you, but....to me that seems pretty cut and dry! You're hallucinating a support system! You do know I'm right here, right?" They place a hand to their chest and squint at you again. "I'm literally here to help! Entirely the only thing I'm here for!"

You can't muster a response. Such blatant disregard was not what you'd been expecting in the slightest.

They continue. "Listen. I understand you're a bit disappointed that friendship and love and wholesome vibes didn't bust you out of this situation, but that's just the truth of it! If you get stuck in your own head all you're gonna get is an echo chamber! I'm sure you know how unproductive that is." They say it with a strange crinkle in their eyes, like they were privy to a joke that you weren't.

You swallow. "....I know you don't pay attention to my family. How would you know what their 'normal' looks like?"

Loop doesn't reply for another long moment. When they do continue, it's with a huff. "Hm. I suppose I don't have room to talk. What would I know, right? I could never know them as well as you do!" They wave a flippant hand. "Listen, how about you sit on it for a few loops. If you're still hearing voices then I'll take you more seriously."

That's probably the best you're going to get. You sigh. "Fine."

They clap. "Excellent! Now, how can I help you on this wonderful new loop?"

You pause, thinking about it. You'd had a few goals before this. You'd put them all on hold because you wanted to help your family. You needed to ask the King questions, still.

() Ask the King questions....? ()

He freezes time, and you're travelling back in it. You won't know if it's related unless you find out more about him. And considering your...situation, it's not like there's much risk in doing so.

<> Never took you for such a scientist, Siffrin. <>

You smile to yourself. But then you clear your throat and address Loop directly. "I still need to ask the King things."

"That you do. For something you suggested yourself, you haven't been very prompt about it."

You avert your gaze.

"Having second thoughts?"

"No." You reply. "Even if he's not the reason I'm trapped, he's sure to know something I don't. I just need to figure out what to ask to get it."

"Hmhm. Sure. Another round of scouring every room, then?"

"Ugh. I wish I knew where to look. It feels like every room has something in it, but I can't remember which ones have the actually relevant stuff."

() We can help! ()

<> I'd certainly appreciate a thorough run-through of everything once we get to the House. <>

{} You forget stuff a lot Frin, but there's no way we'd all forget the same stuff at the same time! {}

It's a relief, extremely, to hear them all so supportive. To have a backup memory to fall back on.

"Guess I'll just have to look at everything again."

"That is what I said, yes."

You roll your eyes and stand. "Back to it."

"Remember, we still need to hang out, stardust! Make sure you don't forget about that!"

Honestly you had, but right now you had other priorities. "Later, Loop."

"You're such a party-pooper! Fine, later."

You awkwardly return their wave, and walk away from the tree.

[] ......um. []

Oh. Isa'd been pretty quiet that whole time. "Yeah?"

[] I'm not......I'm not the only one who noticed, right? []

() Noticed......? ()

You frown. "Noticed what?"

[] Uh. Hm. I....I'm not sure if it's my place to bring it up if no one else noticed. []

You're annoyed to find yourself genuinely frustrated by that answer. "Isabeau you can't just say that."

You recognize the sensation in your hands, in response, to mean one of the others is trying to use them. You aggressively cross your arms to prevent it. Isabeau squeaks, so you guess it was him.

[] S-sorry, it's just.... []

It's familiar, this hesitation. But you don't think there's any way you can let him get away with it this time. He'd hear you thinking about it even if you don't confront him about it on purpose.

<> They have you there, Isabeau. <>

{} Noooo secrets allowed! {}

() It wouldn't be fair to keep things from him considering our situation? ()

You're glad the others agree about this, at least. But you also feel a little bad that you're all ganging up on him?

[] N-no, that's completely fair. I'm probably overthinking it, maybe. []

You'd been walking on autopilot as the internal monologue went on, and abruptly have to stop yourself when you realize where you were. You'd gotten to the right side of town. You kinda don't want to see Bonnie's body right now, so you turn around and head back to the meadow for some solitude.

{} No wait, Frin, I wanna see. Can we see? {}

You cringe. You're worried it'll be upsetting for Bonnie to see and you don't want your brain to get loud-

{} NO! No, I won't yell. I promise. {}

".....super promise?" You whisper, squinting, as you halt in your step again.

{} Super duper promise. {}

You sigh and relent. Honestly it was just really hard to say no to Bonnie.

{} Heheh. {}

[] I'll uh....tell you what I was thinking about after, then. []

You sigh again, and steel your nerves. 'Bonnie' is right where they usually are, perched on the fence with a pout. Facing away from you.

But even before you greet them, they seem to still, as if they know you're there. The real Bonnie never did that. The real Bonnie just stared morosely at the field until you said something.

The real Bonnie asked for this, so.....you need to get it over with.

"Bonnie."

'Bonnie' turns to you with the same sulk they usually do. "...heyfrin." They mutter. Unlike usual, though, they don't avert their gaze between statements. They just stare at you blankly before continuing. "...What d'you want?"

You aren't even sure what to say. They just keep staring at you. Unblinking. It's unnerving. Eyes with no light, just like the others.

{} ...I don't sound like that. {}

() Mm...you don't sound any different to me, Bonnie. It's everything else that's off, not how you sound. ()

{} No, I don't sound like that! I'm super serious!! {}

Volume...

{} S-sorry, Frin. {}

"....why aren't you saying anything?"

You jerk. The Bonnie before you is still staring at you with that same sulk.

You've never heard them say this before.

"And why do you look so tired? Did you not take a nap like you said you would?" They continue, squinting at you like you were a puzzle to solve.

This isn't in the script it's not in the script-

"N-no, I did, it's just...had a bad dream, that's all." You stammer, caught off-guard with no lines prepared.

Something off shimmers in Bonnie's eyes. "Bad...dream? Like a nightmare?"

This time, the tone and cadence are wrong. Entirely wrong. Like someone older poorly imitating the way their voice sounded. Like one of them imitating Bonnie's voice; imitation from someone intimately familiar with the sound, but without the register to pull it off convincingly.

{} See!! {}

Your breath catches. But the imposter is still staring at you with that weird glimmer in their eye, waiting with bated breath for your answer.

"Y-yeah. A nightmare." You manage, forcing the words out of you like you were afraid they would bite you if you misspoke.

And just like that, the mask slips back into place. "Oh. What was it about?" Says the fake, voice and eyes back to normal. Entirely convincing again, aside from the random bits of not-quite-right body language. "Belle says it's better to talk about your nightmares so they're out there and not in your brain."

() Ohhhh, not the best time to say that... ()

<> Kind of seems like 'in your brain' is the only place this one can be, unfortunately. <>

[] I mean, we haven't tried putting it out there, right? Maybe telling the fake Bonnie about the real Bonnie would....I dunno, put them back? []

No, there's absolutely no way you're doing that. Doing that requires a certain amount of comfort in risk-taking that you do not possess right now.

{} Yeah! They're weird and they talk weird and they're creepy! {}

But you have to make up something to say to them or they might get weird again. And that would be terrible. What's a low-level nightmare scenario that you'd tell Bonnie under more normal circumstances....

"......I dreamt someone snuck up behind me and pushed me in a lake." You say, averting your gaze from the imposter.

Once again, though, the voice is off when they reply. "...that's not very scary, Frin."

Ok, ok, stay calm, you salvaged it last time, you can salvage it again. "They...they pushed me again when I tried to get out of the water. They did it over and over." You continue, trying your hardest to keep your voice steady.

But that response, by the sounds of it, only makes things worse. "Water's not scary though, dummy. Can't you swim?" Now that you aren't looking at them, they sound even less like Bonnie than before. It wavers, there's a faint squeak to it. "If you can swim you could've swam somewhere else to get out of the water."

{} Mmmmmmmmmmmm......they're being rude. I'm not that rude. {}

You squeeze your eyes shut tight. You just want this conversation to be over. "I'll.......I'll try that next time, then."

Like you'd flipped a switch, once again the uncanny voice returns to normal. "Okay. Okay!!"

You open your eyes with a shuddering breath to see them staring at you intently. "...Did I help?"

Not even a little bit, this whole interaction just made you feel worse. But you'd never say that to the real Bonnie, so you logically can't here, either. "Yeah. Thanks, Bonnie."

They 'hmph' at you and finally look somewhere other than your face.

You'd like to leave, now, you want to leave. Your foot steps backwards, it's someone else doing it and not you but honestly it's what you were about to do anyway. "B-bye, Bonnie."

They look at you with that shimmer out of the corner of their eye. "...see you at the clocktower."

You trip over your feet, stealing them back to run back to the meadow as fast as possible.

It's only when you reach it that you realize the other four are having a round table discussion about how convincing of an act that was. You're not sure what level of distress you need to be at to be able to tune out your own thoughts but wow! You sure are there!

() O-oh, Siffrin, I'm sorry! We should've made sure you were listening! ()

No, that's the least bad part of this right now. You sit down and then tip yourself over so you're laying sideways in the grass. "Guys this sucks." You state.

You hear a few of the others hiss. Sounds empathetic.

[] Do you, uh....still want to hear what I was thinking earlier? At this point it feels really irrelevant and I don't want to derail- []

You groan aloud. "Isabeau." You chastise.

Your hands raise in defense and you force them back down. "Also everyone needs to stop doing that?? Please?? If I fall on my face because someone else is using my feet I'm going to walk straight to the banana peel about it." You threaten.

{} What's that even mean!! {}

[] Sorry, sorry! I just didn't want to distract from our real problems. Because we've, you've got so many! []

Wow, you hadn't noticed. "Just spit it out, Isabeau, stars."

He makes a funny noise, at that, but right now you don't have it in you to think about it very hard.

[] It's just.....I'm pretty sure Loop had your accent, that's all. []

Whatever you'd been expecting him to say, it certainly wasn't that. You're sure you're making some kind of face about it, but it's not like any of them would be able to tell cuz they're using your eyes. "No they don't?"

<> ...no, now that you mention it, Isabeau, I think I noticed that as well. Not directly enough to realize that's what it was, but something seemed strange when we were talking to them. <>

[] Ha! Thank change, I'm not crazy then! []

On one hand, the two smart people are saying this, so you should be taking them seriously. But on the other, you've spent much more time around Loop than they have. You're pretty sure you would've noticed a similarity like that by now if it were true.

Your hand finds your coin in your pocket, and you fidget.

[] Ok, maybe, yeah, that's true, you know them better than we do- []

They can hear your thooooooooughts.

[] Y-yeah. But! Also, it's like Bonnie was saying earlier. They sounded the same but they didn't think they did. []

{} The fake Bonnie didn't sound like me though, Za. {}

[] No, really, it's a thing I've read about. If you use craft to record voices, and you listen to your own like that, your voice sounds different than you hear it yourself. It's like...the way you think you sound affects how you hear it? So in the absence of that it sounds less like you to you. []

<> ...that's a rather smart deduction, Isabeau. You said you read that, somewhere? <>

[] Haha, yeah.... []

He trails off awkwardly.

It did sound smart. But still.... "That's still not super important right now, Isa."

[] I know, yeah, that's why I wasn't sure if I should bring it up. I'll drop it if you want me to. []

<> Well I'm not dropping it. <>

You groan, rolling onto your back. "Odiiiile."

<> Don't throw a fit, I don't mean I'm going to pester you about it. Simply that I'm adding it to my list of things to pay attention to. <>

"Do you honestly think it's important enough to be a clue? Why does it matter if we have the same accent?" You question, incredulous. You feel defensive and you can't figure out why.

<> If they only appeared after you starting looping, then logic dictates that they at least have something to do with it. Therefore, they're worth paying attention to. <>

You don't argue, if only because you don't want to be having this conversation any more.

() Do you want to talk about something else? We should talk about something else! ()

You sit up, vaguely annoyed now. You refuse to take it out on any of them, though. "Honestly I feel like I've wasted enough time this loop."

{} What d'you normally do, Frin? Do you need to go help us again? {}

The thought forms a pit in your stomach. No, you couldn't. You couldn't redo all those special personal moments you shared with your family, not with these fake versions of them. It would be cruel.

They didn't belong to anyone else.

[] Y-yeah, ok, then....what are you going to do? []

<> If it doesn't throw a wrench in your routine, would it be alright if we just watch you go through a loop as normal? To give us an idea of what your baseline is. <>

() Oh! Good idea, madame! It'll be easier to help you that way! ()

It wasn't like you did the exact same thing every time, though. You knew you needed to be meticulous again, so this loop would probably be longer than most, but still...

[] Just do whatever you were going to do if we didn't end up in your brain? Pretend we're not here if it helps. []

Literally impossible but you'll humor them. "If you want me to start from the top...guess I'm starting from the top. Not really a hassle."

It takes you a second to push yourself to your feet because someone else was lightly swaying them, and you can't help the sharp sting of frustration that springs to life in your chest.

You cut off Bonnie before they can apologize. "One loop where I just act like normal, and then we are spending time to get this body hogging sorted out. Everyone good with that?"

Everyone choruses out apologetic agreement.

You make your way to the clocktower.

Chapter Text

To round things out, because you'd greeted all the other doubles already, you head to the shop to check on 'Odile'. The real one hadn't insisted it was necessary, but had been a little curious, and that was enough for you to feel obligated.

Thinking that earned you an exasperated sigh. You ignored it.

Entering the shop, you don't immediately approach. You observe from a distance first, trying to see what you could notice from that distance.

Firstly, too animated, like Mirabelle. But even more so with Odile, who didn't have nearly any expressive body language to begin with. So the way this one kept nodding to herself, assessing the objects in the shop with intense gazes, tapping her foot; so far this was the least convincing act out of all of them.

<> You make it sound like I don't move at all, Siffrin. <>

{} Nah, you just don't move as much as we do! Cuz you're old! {}

<> Ha. See how animated you are when you're my age, Boniface. <>

{} I'll be so aminated, Dile. {}

<> Animated. <>

{} Yes. {}

You roll your eyes. Even in situations like this, not much has changed. It's kind of nice, the familiarity of it. Under normal circumstances you enjoyed listening to it.

But right now, it was a tad distracting. So you approach the double and silently request relative silence again. "Odile."

The double's body language immediately stills, and she turns to you with all of a sudden perfect acting, not a hair nor muscle out of place. "Oh, Siffrin. You look rested. Glad to see you this laidback on the day before the end of the world." She says with that faint smirk of hers.

Ok, so this one actually knew how to act like Odile, it just didn't bother until it noticed you. You're not sure if that's a good sign or not, that she didn't care whether the shopkeeper saw her acting strange. It's only you who needs fooling, apparently.

....you were supposed to be doing a loop as normal, so....should you just go through the motions? It'd be easier with this double, since she wasn't as off.

"Clocktower, sleepover?"

"A sleepover? Urgh... You guys really are kids." She replies, looking unimpressed. Like usual.

Hm. You hadn't wanted to zone out, really, but....if she was acting identically, there probably wouldn't be any risk in it. You knew your lines. "We can forget about our problems!"

"I suppose so." She replies. "Nonetheless, I'll be there. Poor Boniface probably needs it. Maybe we all do." Another smirk, and she gestures to you. "But the room only has three beds, right? I better get a whole bed to myself."

Oh! Wait, this part is funnier with an audience. "Mira and Bonnie will probably be sharing..."

"Mirabelle and Bonnie? So who'll sleep on the ground, you or Isabeau?"

Grinning, cheeky, you reply to the setup. "Isa, of course."

[] Ow???? My feelings???? []

{} Ha ha, floor Za! {}

<> Poor man. <>

"Poor man."

<> .......right. <>

Yeah. Poor man indeed, having to hear Odile's sarcastic pity twice.

"...Anyway, I'll be there. You know, since we already decided earlier we'd meet at the Clocktower and all." She retorts flatly.

Honestly, yeah, this did kinda feel like a waste of time. It's not like mentioning this really changed what anyone was doing....just how they felt about it? Maybe? It's not like you can read their minds. Maybe it made Bonnie feel better, or Isa, but Odile clearly hadn't cared much about it.

() W-wait, did you not actually tell anyone about the sleepover after you said you would?? ()

They. Yeah. Thoughts. Hear them. That's a thing they. Can do.

...technically you had told them all about it.....the first few times. But after that you-

"...Anything else?"

Right, Odile. You'd greeted her and there wasn't anything you could learn from this one that you couldn't learn from the real Odile, so there wasn't much else to say. "Nah, nothing."

"Okay. I'll see you at the clocktower later then." She replies, giving you a familiar faint nod before turning back to the shelves.

You turn on your heel and leave with a steadying breath, in and out.

<> 'Learn'...? Did you have a question for me, Siffrin? <>

Not yet, but she was smart so you probably would later. Honestly, with how 'Bonnie' acted earlier, it seemed like there were invisible conversational landmines you were at risk of tripping over if you said something off-script to them. So if you needed information, their bodies probably weren't the versions of them you'd be asking.

<> Fair enough. I'll be here. <>

Ha.

() You keep mentioning a 'script' Siffrin, is...is that an actual thing?? Is everyone really that predictable? ()

You frown, and pause before you could enter the boulangerie. "It's...less that it's predictable, and more that, well....there's not much reason for you to do something differently for no reason if it's the first time you've done it? For all of you it's still the first time this day has happened to you. You don't have any reason to just....say anything different than you normally would under the circumstances?" You say quietly. Honestly it wasn't something you'd really dwelled on much. It made everything a bit easier to navigate and plan through, so even if it was uncanny, you counted it as a blessing and not a curse.

Mostly.

[] Do you not...I dunno, experiment with it? Say weird things to us to see how we respond? []

....your gut response was no, why would you, but then 'Mr Amazing Wonderful Funny Buff Isabeau' pops into your head and that ruins any plausible deniability you might've had.

Isabeau makes a very funny sound, at that.

<> Incredible. <>

{} Gross. {}

<> Incredibly gross. <>

Look, the answer was sometimes you did, but for the most part you didn't feel the need. And now with this imposter-party running around, you no longer could experiment without them getting weird on you.

...and saying embarrassing things when most consequences didn't stick was different than just goofing off when they could remember. So you weren't sure you'd be particularly motivated to be any sillier than normal with your real family right now.

() Oh, Siffrin, it's ok! We won't judge you! Be as silly as you want! ()

[] We give you a full silliness permit. I'd get it in writing if I could. []

{} Nooo, I don't want more of Frin's stupid jokes!! {}

You try to think of a good pun to respond to that, because it certainly felt like setup for a punchline.

{} NOOO NO IT ISN'T!!! {}

You wince at their exasperated volume, and reflexively cover your ears despite it not doing anything to help.

{} A-Ah! I'm sorry Frin, I'm sorry! I forgot- {}

"I asked you not to so-"

Allowed. Loud. Pun acquired.

"You're not a-loud to do that anymore, Bonbon." You say, grinning even with ears still covered.

[] Ha! []

() Oh, the buildup isn't as good when we can hear you thinking about it... ()

Boo.

{} Yeah, boo! Booooo! {}

<> I think you deserved that one, Boniface. <>

{} No! Dile, you're s'posed to be on my side! {}

You laugh a little and push the door open. You run the script absently, obtain and eat your pastry, and leave. What else, what else....

Okay, you usually skipped forward when you had to do stuff in the house, but since you weren't doing that this time because it was, a test run? Or something? You should probably gather up all the items here.

You do, your family chiming in when they had something to add. Mirabelle was shocked that you broke into someone's house. Isa was flabbergasted that one of the bomb parts was in there.

They coo with you at the kid's drawing, though Bonnie states they could do better than that. No one really has anything to say about the leaf, aside from Odile questioning why you felt the need to keep a random leaf on your person to begin with.

But once you've obtained the flower, you raise it as if doing a toast. "Anyone want this?" You question at a normal volume.

() That's a lovely shade, but, hm...what do you mean, exactly? ()

{} Why's a flower matter. {}

You squint, and abruptly realize you hadn't actually given it to anyone last loop. You were too preoccupied with all their quests. "Oh, it's...I would give it to one of you, sometimes. Just because I can. Because you're all important."

() Awwww, Siffrin!! ()

<> How cute. <>

[] H-haha, I wish I could remember that. How'd we usually react? []

If you recalled correctly, everyone was some level of flattered except Bonnie, who you had a bit of trouble getting a read on.

Mira promised to press it to preserve it, Odile made fun of you a little for doing something thoughtful for once, and Isa got all bashful. Meanwhile Bonbon always just...stared at it really hard.

{} Hmmmmm... {}

Reactions you've already seen a few times each. Giving the flower to the actors wouldn't accomplish anything.

<> Well, giving it to one of us in here would barely be more than...symbolic, wouldn't it? It isn't as though it would leave your hands. <>

Fair. Maybe you'll keep it, see if you can find a use for it in the House.

{} Everyone in the House is frozen, Frin. Who're you gonna give it to. {}

.....

There's only two people you can.

That's another thing you can try! You carefully stuff the flower into your pockets and make your way to the Clocktower.

() All done with your, um...chores? ()

That's one way to put it. Now it was just a matter of going through the rest of the day and night until tomorrow comes.

Mindless tedium, at this point. All stuff you've heard before.

".....wait, but...you guys haven't." You realize aloud, stopping as your gaze drifts towards the bridge.

[] I thought every day- every loop we all did the same things? Why wouldn't we have already done what's about to happen? []

"Every first day is the same except for the last one because last night we all ate dinner in that field." You reply. "So...all the clocktower stuff is going to be new for you guys. Huh."

{} Is it boring? {}

"Only because I've seen it so often. That's usually why I skip it."

<> How exactly do you skip something? If dying sends you back how would you manage to move forward? <>

"Its.....weird and complicated. I can explain it! I just...don't know if I'd have good answers for any follow up questions..."

<> I'm sure it's easier to understand than you think it is, Siffrin. Just try your best. <>

Easy for her to say, she's the everything expert.

<> Flattery will get you nowhere. <>

You can practically hear her smirk.

But try you do. "I technically can loop forward to any of the spots I can loop back to. It just costs me some of my memories."

{} What! Is that why you don't remember things all the time?! {}

"N-no! It's not memories like that, just...memories of fighting random Sadnesses in the House. That kinda stuff. Those ones are...expendable and there's a lot of them."

{} What's 'ex-pen-dibble' mean? {}

[] Its like...something not important that you can get rid of without worrying about it. []

() Hm, right...I suppose if you've been doing this for long enough, it would make sense you've got a lot of those kinds of memories. ()

You nod.

() .....wait. ()

There's dread in her tone. You find it mirrored in your chest.

() You only....loop when you die, or....or that's what causes it most of the time. So how... ()

You think of sore necks and pungent smells. You don't want to explain. But you can't lie, they'd know. And demonstrating would be.....worse, you think. You swallow.

[] Mmmmmyeah y'know what lets? Not. Talk about that right now. I can...guess. And I don't like it. []

{} No, tell us! I don't get it! {}

Bonnie especially should not hear this-

<> I'm...with Isabeau on this, Boniface. There will be time for this later. <>

You hear them grumble.

"I'd...I'd tell you if it'd help? But it wouldn't help. Believe me."

{} Knowing stuff is always better than not knowing stuff!! Knowing more stuff is always helpful, that's how learning works, Dile said so! {}

<> I didn't say that so it would be quoted in contexts like this. <>

{} You...you were lying? Were you lying?! {}

<> I wasn't lying, it's...not all things are true in every circumstance. And also, with this specifically, I'd rather the rest of us talk to Siffrin about this privately first. Because I'm greatly concerned. <>

You aren't. Sure. If you're dreading such a talk or not. You think the concern is flattering, maybe, but it also sounds like a threat and you're not fond of that.

<> Oh, it's very much a threat. You aren't getting away with implying what you're implying and not getting a talking to. <>

[] L-let's be kinder about it? This is a rough situation for them, I...don't think that's how I'd deal with it, but...I don't think being accusatory at how they're coping is...fair. []

Coping- you're literally just trying to save time?? You don't want to be stuck here for as long as possible, you didn't want them stuck even if they hadn't known and especially now that they do-

() I-I think we should change! The subject! I-I'm sorry for bringing it up that was inconsiderate of me!! ()

The sigh that escapes you is grating. "Can I just go to the clocktower? This loop is dragging on."

{} Only if you promise to tell me later!! {}

You hear the others gently protesting, but honestly you think they're being a little over-dramatic. "I super duper promise, once I am not in a time loop anymore, I'll tell you whatever you want, Bon."

You don't like the idea of them hearing about this, but....they were tough. You're sure you could find a way to explain it that was palatable.

{} Ok. If you super promise I believe you. {}

You faintly nod, and look across the stretch of town towards the bridge. You hop a little from foot to foot. "Running start." You mumble to yourself, maybe to them. Are you defensive? You can't even tell. It's still just weird you have an audience for.....everything.

{} Go Frin go!! Go Frin go!! {}

[] Crab yeah, go Sif! []

You can't help your blooming smile at their encouragement over something so simple and mundane as jumping across a gap. But the warmth that blooms in your chest smothers any embarrassment you might've been feeling, and you take off.

Around townsfolk you weave, head ducked low to make you more streamlined. You bound up the wood of the bridge, and with one firm final step, you launch yourself to the other side with ease.

You land softly and, feeling just a little bit cool, strike a dumb pose that none of your mental spectators can even see all that well.

() Bravo!! Bravo!! ()

Immediately someone steals your hands to clap furiously. You find yourself laughing fondly, at the positive attention, and don't stop them this time.

Dinner passes the way it always does. You zone through it a little, your mental companions making little comments here and there about their counterparts that don't distract you from your own lines at all because you've heard all this what feels like dozens of times by now.

And still, you find yourself...grimacing, watching the doppelgängers hug.

Your family tries to inquire about such a reaction, but you don't feel like getting into it right then so you gently request privacy on the matter. They give it to you.

Everything plays out just how it always does, and you don't feel like anything's difficult to bear yet, and you close your eyes and wish for sleep...

....but you don't achieve this, because your brain-mates have started a conversation.

() I...I say all that every time, huh. All of this is just...routine by this point for you. ()

She does. It is. Even if it mattered, even though it meant so much to you the first time...

<> ....gets a bit repetitive, doesn't it. Especially since you've already beaten the King thrice now. <>

You love Mira so much but hearing this same speech so often made your whole struggle seem just a tad more futile. Because now that you know what you're doing...defeating the King isn't even the hard part. The pep talk is...it's meaningless.

You never felt like it was right to request help with your real problem, though, when none of them knew that.

{} We coulda if you'd told us, dummy! {}

You know that now, logically....but emotionally it was never something you could've done. You'd never want them upset, you'd never want them with even more burdens on their shoulders.

Especially not Mira. You could never do that to poor stressed Mirabelle. Never. You could never live with yourself if you stressed her out even more. She deserves so much more than this enormous pile of worries.

() You're...you're so unbelievably thoughtful, Siffrin, I...I can't believe I ever... ()

She trails off. You hear her breath get a little shaky. You can't begin to fathom what she's thinking, sounding like that.

Which. Is unfair, now that you think about it. They can hear all your thoughts, why wasn't that a two-way thing??

[] .....wait, that's...that's a really good point. I've been thinking stuff this whole time. Talking is weird in...here?? Can I say here? It doesn't really feel like a physical space so it's not like there should be a difference between thinking stuff and saying stuff since neither of them are me moving my mouth- []

{} That's too many words, Za! {}

[] The short version is I don't know where our thoughts are going!! That's all! []

() Well, well...what's the difference between Siffrin's words and thoughts, then? From our perspective? ()

...you hadn't even thought to ask that. Honestly the more everyone talked about it the more complicated it sounded so that kind of question was beyond your scope.

<> We're hearing things with your ears, so I assume most senses are like that. But thoughts...to me they sound quieter than speech, and...beyond that I'm having trouble putting it to words, actually. <>

[] It kinda feels like...I dunno, skipping the hearing it step and just going 'oh yeah, those are words and I know what they mean!' []

{} It's echoey to me! {}

() I agree with all that. Quiet, a little echoey, and...honestly it kinda feels like they're my thoughts, but I know they aren't because it's your voice. ()

Like they were their own thoughts, huh? Quiet. Maybe because you were hearing your family in your head, they counted as thoughts or something? So maybe their thoughts were even quieter than yours.

<> Recursive, sounds about right. <>

There haven't been a lot of moments where they'd all been silent and no one else had been talking to you.

You haven't really tried...listening for it?

() W-we'll be quiet so you can! ()

The others give their own brief agreement, and then it's like you have your mind to yourself again.

Alone in the dark, staring absently up at the ceiling like usual.

But you close your eyes anew, force your own thoughts into quiet, and just....listen.

You hear it. It's a strain, but it's there, like a whisper of smoke against a cloudy sky.

pooriisiffrinsiffrinkindawishifihopeiyoucantthiscouldcanimaginedoesntmoveheargoingworkaroundthisthroughitllbuttheallblowinumberthismydontimtheyrecoverwannathinkingsoimakeofmuchstillfrinisstrongerhaventsad17thansaidbyyou-

Ok wow that sure is all of them at once in a way that's not parsable at all!! Great!! This is totally even and fair for you! 17???

<> Well you picked out the number I was thinking of, but I'm guessing that's just because it was a number in a sea of words? <>

Exactly that. Seems like you'd only be able to pick out thoughts from just one of them if the others stopped thinking on purpose.

Which means they only get their thoughts shared with full consent, the others all agreeing.

You kind of hate this. You hate it a lot, actually.

() I'm so sorry Siffrin. ()

You want to groan aloud. You don't.

<> I'd say I wish we weren't voyeurs to all your private musings...but considering some of the things you thought about yourself in that field, I think it's advantageous for us to be able to nip them in the bud. <>

[] Y-yeah, kinda. We worry about you and we care about you so...if you're feeling bad I think it's....a good thing? That you can't hide it from us right now? []

You don't want to burden them and it's frustrating that your thoughts keep getting poked at. You don't need to be babysat.

{} But you're a grownup! It's not b- {}

There's a sound from outside your head.

You try not to tense.

Ah.

This part of the script. Someone shifts on the bed beside you.

[] Uh. Is...am 'I' waking up...? []

You're not sure what this'll be like for Isabeau. It'll be different than it is for you, though, because he actually knows what it is he's about to not say.

() Um, what's happening?? ()

In a few moments you wouldn't need to answer. The stranger beside you would surely act it out almost perfectly. But honestly this was all familiar enough by now even you could do that.

[] So this is something that I do every night if we don't have a picnic dinner? Uh... []

<> Something tells me you're about to be on the receiving end of some secondhand embarrassment, Isabeau. <>

[] Oh change- []

"Sif..."

A familiar whisper. Back-to-back with the voice in your head, it's a little scary how identical they were. Makes you wonder if you're just easily fooled, being unable to audibly distinguish between the fake and the original. You don't make a show of being awake yet. You aren't supposed to.

[] S-Sif- []

No interruptions. You can't afford it. You can't have a hair out of place, you can't afford it.

Your mind goes fully silent again. You feel a deep guilt in your chest, and you can't even tell who's it is.

"Hey... hey Sif. Siffrin. Siffarooni."

Your cue. You breathe deep and turn newly opened eyes towards your....companion.

You don't immediately pick up on any bad acting, and you aren't sure how to feel about that. Aside from the...dull eyes, everything else about him is how it's meant to be. Freckled shoulders, peeking collarbone, sweaty face.

Familiar. And yet this is a stranger.

"Um...sorry? To wake you up?" He begins as normal, quiet as a mouse and just as shy. "I just have to tell you something. If that's okay."

Liar. He can't deviate from the script anymore than you do. You've never pressed him on this before....so nothing about this will be new.

You wouldn't want it to be, either. You'd rather hear it from the real one. Not this. Not this stranger with his face.

But that's your cue to nod, so you do.

His face turns determined. It's not as convincing as it was the first time you saw it. Honestly there's been no reason to be convinced of it any of the times after when you know he's not gonna say anything.

But this double also seems....amused? There's a hint of something in his expression that was never present in the original. His smile is just...off.

"Okay, okay, okay. Then I shall tell you the thing!"

<> Mm? <>

"The thing I woke you up to tell you!"

You hope the spectators aren't getting their hopes up.

"Haha! Um, okay. So."

He shifts. Eyes already diverted from your face, even. Usually he didn't do that until after he chickened out.

"The thing I have to tell you..."

He drags it out just like usual.

"Is..."

The suspense would be killing you if you didn't know how this ended already.

"That..."

You don't hold your breath. You just stare at him expectantly.

"I...don't have anything to tell you right now."

Yep.

{} What the crab Za. {}

<> Would you expect anything else, Boniface? <>

[] I-I- []

Shh.

"But I will, when, uh, when we beat the King tomorrow. Okay?"

No he won't. Circumstances don't allow him or he'll just decide not to tell you randomly like last time. It's practically written in the stars as far as you can tell.

"That's so ominous, Isa." You say, as you're meant to.

"I-it's not meant to be???" He replies, shifting a little beneath the covers. He's not as quiet as he says it than his previous words, but that's normal. That's why the others get mad at him for the disturbance, he forgets to watch his volume.

....you think he's not as loud as the real one is. You're bothered by that more than you'd like to be.

"I, uh, just don't wanna tell you right now. It might distract you. And we wouldn't want that, right???"

Your chest

aches.

You yearn for something as benign and reassuring as a distraction.

"So, um, I'll tell you when we beat the King. Okay?"

You wish you still had little enough time in this cycle to believe him. But you know better. And even if you didn't you don't want to hear this from the double. You don't want to hear this...nebulous secret from a disingenuous source. You'd love nothing more than to not have to hear these words again when nothing will come of them.

But the only thing you can say is, "Okay."

He smiles that bright smile of his. The sparkle in his eye is absent.

Hollow. You feel so, so hollow.

His gaze is drawn upward, off-script, to watch the pillow collide with his face.

() AH! ()

You wince at Mira's yelp, but steady your expression as you turn your head to face the rest of the scene. You've seen this plenty but your family hasn't so you might as well let them watch. It's funny. Kinda.

"SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!" Bonnie screeches, pointing an accusatory finger at-

Bad acting alert. They've halfway crawled over Mirabelle, knees behind hers but bracing themself on a hand in front of her knees while pointing with the other.

Instead of leaning back on her elbows, 'Mirabelle' sits up fully, leaning a bit towards 'Bonnie' with a comically angry look. "YEAH ISABEAU! SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! CLOSE YOUR MOUTH AND SLEEP!"

"YOU CLOSE YOUR MOUTH, HOUSEMAIDEN!" Isabeau retorts loudly, though you don't turn to look at him. "YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP M'DAME ODILE!"

"I'm already up."

Everyone goes quiet and turns to regard Odile. Instead of staring at the ceiling, she's looking at all of you with a half-lidded annoyance.

"And if the noise continues, I will stand up." She pauses. It's difficult to really see from this distance, but it feels like she's glaring at each of you individually. "You do not want to know what will happen if I stand up."

You hear the Odile in your head let out a single breath of amusement. It's all you can do to not jump because you'd nearly forgotten they were all still in your head because they were apparently all really good at being quiet?? When you asked them to be???

"Sorry."

"Sorry m'dame..."

"S-Sorry..."

You turn back to Isabeau, as the script calls for. This is routine, and it's familiar, and not agonizing, really. But this is the most attention you've paid to it in awhile. So you're focusing extra hard on making sure you hit all your marks.

Isabeau looks sheepish. It's not as endearing of a facial expression as usual, it's not as exaggerated. But it lightens back into....something you'd like to call fond, as he makes eye contact with you.

Normally he blinks blankly and then smiles and wishes you goodnight. But the stranger skips that blank blink and goes right for the smile.

"Good night, Sif!" He says, before settling back down and getting comfortable.

That's what Isa calls you.

That's not Isa.

The stranger hasn't the right to the name.

You feel a little sick.

But you close your eye, too.

[] C....can I apologize? For all that??  I think the guilt will kill me if I don't apologize. []

Right. You probably wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway.

<> A bit late for that, Isabeau. Siffrin's surely seen you fumble this enough times without an apology. <>

[] Even if it's overdue I still feel like they deserve one!! []

It wasn't like it was Isa who did all that, though. Well, not this time. Every other time sure but....

Hm. If you ask him why he didn't say anything after waking you up, would he be able to answer? This scene didn't play out for him yesterday-loop-yesterday. He wouldn't know why, would he? Wait, no, you can't read his mind but his mind is literally his. Surely he knows himself well enough to know why he did that?

That's more than you can say about yourself, honestly.

You hear him stutter and stammer and choke on air.

[] I-I mean, the fake me said it, right? I...don't want to distract you. Tomorrow's important and...and we.... []

() We have to fight the King? ()

You're puzzled by how tired and sad Mira sounds.

() How could I not be exhausted on your behalf?? The more I think about it the more exhausting this must be to go through over and over and over!! ()

{} It's not fair! I make you the same food every single night! That's so boring! {}

Your breath hitches, and you swiftly bring a hand up to cover your mouth so the doppelgängers don't hear any other treacherous noises.

You want to cry at their concern for you.

You can't tell if they're good tears.

[] I...I'm so sorry I'm not.... []

You squeeze your eye shut tighter.

[] ....I'm a coward. I'm sure I wanted to, to tell you tonight, but...I must've lost my nerve. And if you're always trying to do things the same way, I....I guess nothing would've happened to make me not lose my nerve. I'm sorry, Sif. If I'd known it was eating at you like this- []

He'd said as much last night. But you can't bring yourself to blame him, so he shouldn't need to apologize.

[] B-but I do! I....you're upset. And I want to fix it. B-because I...I care about you, Sif. []

He

does.

You lower your hand from your mouth. You don't speak the words aloud, but as you think them, you mouth them as well.

'Isa, what is it you keep trying to tell me?'

You're met with a sharp, high-pitched noise.

...he doesn't even get a chance to answer before you regret asking it. A sudden bout of guilt thrums in your chest, and your hands clench in fists.

You've beaten the King three times now and he hasn't followed through any of those times. Were he not stuck in your head it would be...bad, you think, to beat the King again for the sole purpose of trying to get him to spit it out.

He's trapped here with you. It's cruel to ask this while he's backed into a corner-

[] No, no, Sif, that's not- no! You're not forcing me to do anything! []

But you are you're manipulating this situation for your own selfish gain-

Your spiral is swiftly interrupted by your own arms wrapping around yourself, squeezing as tight as you can.

Then the squeezing gets tighter. Almost so tight you have trouble breathing.

They

they're hugging you, aren't they?

It's all you can do not to cry. In fact it's an arduous task not to.

<> It's unhealthy to treat yourself like that, Siffrin. Trying to find scraps of entertainment or joy in your situation is extremely reasonable. The fact that you think it selfish concerns me. <>

() None of us had to remember all the bad things we went through, but you did! They got stacked up! Obviously you want relief! Obviously you want a distraction! ()

{} I gotta squeeze the sad outta you, Frin!! I gotta squeeze it out!! {}

Tighter, still. A tear slips free from your eye and you curse it.

[] You think you're trapping me by...asking that but the truth is...I f-feel like I'd be trapping you by telling you. Like...like if you hear me say it and it...upsets you, or makes you uncomfortable, you'd still be stuck with me, here, hearing all your thoughts and... []

........either way this isn't fair to either of you, is it? You're all stuck with each other. Everyone bearing witness to the unpolished edges of your heart and soul and mind.

<> It's definitely rough, if that's what you're saying. <>

[] I know I've been a coward. I know I've been consistently...leading you on, apparently? If I kept promising to tell you after the King and then not doing that? But...once this is over, I'll tell you. I promise. And if something happens and I chicken out again you have full permission to grab me and beat me up until I cave. []

You don't wanna beat him up.

....you wonder if you'll eventually draw your blade on the imposters, though. What if whatever's piloting them is malicious? Would you be able to defend yourself? Even with dull eyes those are still faces you're too fond of to even consider hurting-

<> Siffrin. <>

Your breath hitches.

<> Your thoughts are straying in random directions now. The other me is right, we need sleep. You need sleep. <>

{} ....I'm not tired. {}

() I am, a little. ()

You've been getting more and more tired each loop, personally. But sleep is starting to become harder and harder to achieve.

() Oh! I could, um...try and sing you a lullaby? Or something, I don't know how good a singer I am... ()

She...

Yeah. You. You'd like that. You swallow thickly around the tears you're holding back.

<> I used to sing, on occasion. I know a Ka Buan lullaby if you'd like that as well? <>

[] I used to sing to my siblings! We can all take turns, Sif, until you fall asleep. []

{} Lullaby concert for Frin! I can't sing so don't ask me to please. {}

You don't laugh aloud for fear of waking all the fakes. But you don't have the words for how happy you are all of a sudden. How loved you feel.

One by one they sing to you, soft and gentle and kind. Even as tears trail down your cheek, there's nothing in your mind but fondness as you drift off.

It's the quickest you've fallen asleep since the loops started.

Chapter Text

You don't really expect anything to be immediately different, the next morning. Going into the House was familiar by this point, you knew the beginning few rooms by heart.

Normally you'd be drudging through it, though not this time. This time you felt...like it wasn't as much of a chore as usual.

....getting a good night's sleep was surprisingly helpful! You don't feel terrible! Imagine that.

Even with that boon, though, it's still the first few rooms, and there's nothing interesting in those. Except-

The tutorial Sadness. It shouldn't have been a big deal, it was never any trouble, it wasn't, it shouldn't, but-

The fight begins and you stumble.

Your breath hitches, your turn passing clumsily, and then-

Your arm swings out, in time with Mirabelle's....actor.....

You realize instantly what the problem is. Luckily, it's in tandem with Mirabelle doing the same, arm falling slack into your jurisdiction again.

() Ah!! Sorry, sorry!! M-muscle memory! It was my turn and- ()

You don't begrudge her, even though a part of you wants to be annoyed again. It was a fight, and a fight was an effort from all of you, or else you wouldn't make it through.

How would you be able to stand still, when logic dictates it was time for action? When your family was in danger? When working as a team was always how you prevailed?

<> .....suppose the rest of us are going to have to train ourselves out of...trying to help. That's unfortunate. <>

{} How do you think I feel? I barely get to fight anyway! {}

[] Guess we're all sitting on the Bonbon bench, huh? []

Not a pun, but still a silly sentence, and you manage to hold onto it as a shred of levity.

You manage to get through the rest of the fight with no further issues, aside from the occasional involuntary muscle twitch. None of the strangers react as if anything was off, and for that you're relieved.

You decide to fight as little as you possibly can this loop, just to avoid potential repeats with worse outcomes.

Everything that followed up until the Death Corridor was painfully simple. Odile still insists you go through everything you can, just in case. Look at everything you can look at.

...key, broken statue, tonics, ding ding.

() Ding ding! ()

[] Ding ding! []

At least there's that. Maybe with....not extra eyes, really, but extra observers, you'll be able to find a chain for this thing. Gear persisted between loops, so if you made this something you could wear, would it stay?

<> Now that's certainly an interesting thought. If that is in fact how it works, you'd probably be able to apply that kind of logic to all sorts of other things, as well. Things more useful than a necklace that makes a sound you enjoy. Like....the keys, perhaps? <>

....you'd literally never even considered that. Could you make a keychain or something? Not having to pick up the keys ever again would be wildly useful. You'd never need to use extra memories to unlock doors ever again.

Wait. Wait wait if you could do that, on the last two floors you could use the Star Crest on dead ends without worrying about it! Because you already have the key!! You now officially owe Odile your entire life because that's a better idea than you've had the whole time loop.

<> Don't sell yourself short, Siffrin. And we don't know for sure that's how this...equipment persistence works. I'd hate for you to build yourself up on this idea and have it fall flat. <>

...eh. Hope's hope.

You go through the motions some more. Disarm the boulder trap. Mentally explain that this was where you first died, because it felt relevant to do so. Context was good, you were all in this together after all.

Your....experience with this place has been very different from theirs. Despite all of them having gone through this whole House with you already, you kind of feel like a tour guide of some kind, pointing out things to them that were only relevant to your loops. Things that didn't come up last time, things that didn't stand out.

You weren't exactly rushing, last time, but you weren't lingering to look at much. You'd still been partially convinced that bonding with them more was your escape, and you hadn't wanted to prolong that.

Well. Here you were. No reason to not be thorough. With everyone else's memory to fall back on, if you checked every single nook and cranny of this place, it was unlikely you'd miss anything later if you needed it.

Routine. First step, Star Crest. Two rooms on the way. One with a word lock, one without.

First room didn't have anything interesting in it aside from a few items. Word lock room felt pointless too, but-

Headache book. You wince and move on-

() Oh, headache book...? ()

{} Bleh... {}

Bleh indeed.

[] I feel like...were we in this room last time? []

...you. Think? You were? You kinda autopilot into a bunch of rooms nearly every full go-through just to grab some items. You might've been in here.

<> ....you say 'headache book' as though it's a classification of some kind. Are there others? <>

You......think?? There are?? No, wait, you know there are. But you don't remember where.

<> Are they...relevant to any of this? <>

You don't......think????? They are????

<> The uncertainty is...very reassuring, Siffrin. <>

You wince at her sarcasm.

<> Nonetheless, I will add that to my list of things to look out for. Just in case. <>

All you can ask.

More familiar motions. Crest Sadness, paper type, take the lead and try to ignore the phantom sensations of your family stopping themselves from helping. You nearly stumble near the end from Bonnie not stopping themself, but you're fine.

Row of tears, kitchen room.

...you know the moment you enter that you've forgotten something. You have no idea what, but you have. You check papers, none of which are relevant, and round the corner-

OW. THE COUNTER. You hit your hip on the STUPID COUNTER. EVERY TIME!! EVERY SINGLE TIME!!

You bite into your lip too hard, wincing.

{} Ow!! Frin don't bite so hard!! {}

They hurt when you hurt-

"Oh no, Sif!"

"Do you still have trouble judging distance? Let us know if you'd like anyone else to take the lead..."

You can't focus on the words from the actors because your family feels your pain with you-

<> Is that especially surprising? Personally I'm glad we learned that during a low-stakes moment and not during an important battle. <>

[] Come to think of it, it's weirdly lucky none of the Sadnesses so far have hit Sif hard enough for us to tell until now. []

You just grimace and press on.

() Y-you really hit that counter every time?? ()

{} Owie...fake Dile is right, someone else should be in front of you to protect you from evil counters! {}

You leer at the floor, at that. You must be truly awful at your job to need a bodyguard for this.

{} No!! I didn't say any of those words!! Don't be mean to yourself!! {}

[] H-hey, no, you're great at your job, Sif! You got us all the way here! []

() Losing your eye was so recent, it's no flaw of yours you're still not used to it yet. ()

But you've had loops upon loops of extra time to get adjusted to it. And you still bump into the stupid blinding counter every single time you're in this room.

<> ......then that sounds more like a memory issue than a vision problem. And that is something we can help you with. <>

[] Yeah!! That's what we're here for! []

You rifle through the kitchen closet and pull out the key. You stare down at the egg and try not to sulk.

You still feel like it's stupid of you to need help with this....but you get the feeling thinking more thoughts like that will result in further dismissal, and you don't want to waste their time.

() ....I've decided we should talk about this in depth as a group later. Is that...is that something everyone else is thinking too? ()

[] Definitely. []

<> Of course. <>

Noooooooooooo.

{} Does that mean we can't tell Frin to stop being mean to himself until later or can we still do that? {}

<> Oh we are absolutely still doing that. But later we might need to....psychoanalyze you more in-depth, Siffrin. Because I worry about your thought patterns. <>

Ha! Good luck with that, you think, because with your ~stellar memory~ you have a hard time believing they'll be able to poke a root cause out of you.

<> I take that as a challenge, doubtful one. <>

.....that's probably a good thing, in the long run. But you will be comically pouty about it for now just because you can.

[] Haha, oh noooo, we care about your mental health! []

() You better get ready for self-love o'clock! Mark your calendar! ()

{} Self love!! {}

[] Self love!! []

You suppress a flustered smirk at their cheering and return to your business. Not much else of note in this room. Frozen cookies, frozen pot, and...

Ah. Right. Demonstration of the equipment thing you mentioned before.

"HERE!!!" 'Bonnie' shouts, pointing aggressively at the wok.

"Wh-what? What is it???" Replies Mira's actor.

"WO-"

A staticky feeling passes through you, the air trembling as the world shifts, and the wok vanishes in the moments between the sensations.

"-t's that? Is that an entire potato in the sink?" They finish with far less enthusiasm.

"What a waste..." Mirabelle remarks, sounding mildly disappointed.

You're not really looking at either of them, because you still don't like seeing the slightly off body language as a constant reminder of...the whole situation.

{} Dizzy again... {}

<> Mhm. I see. You don't need to demonstrate again with other equipment if you don't want to, you can just tell me where they are. <>

You faintly nod to yourself.

Back to it.

You had the key, so now it was a matter of just backtracking to the left side of the floor.

You avoid a few Sadnesses, fail to avoid a few others (though you run rather than fight any of them), until you manage to make it to the other side.

Blacksmith room. You subtly nod towards the sword mounted on the wall, letting Odile know it was another disappearing weapon, and find yourself nodding by Odile's will in response.

You...don't think anything else in this room is important?

[] Is there nothing in the forge? []

Uh. Hm. You don't think you've really paid attention to it since the first few times you were in this room. The only other thing in the room were weapons none of you could use, only interesting to hear your family talk about them, so...you assumed the forge was like that too??

But since you're here, you'll check. Because with your memory, it was very possible that something was useful there and you just didn't remember.

You approach and squint. Because you still don't remember what the metal thing and the rock are called in Vaugardian right now.

The actors play out the scene for you.

"...It's a forge and that's an anvil, Siffrin." Deadpans Odile.

"And the stone is a sharpening stone!" Adds Isabeau.

Right.

...

......wait.

WAIT. SHARPENING STONE.

THE KEYKNIFE.

You snatch the sharpening stone from the anvil with a swiftness that surprises you. You clutch it in your hands and stare, wide-eyed.

It was just. Here?? The whole time???? And you forgot to look?????

() Oh, for....the knife that breaks when you cut the...hair? ()

[] Oh! Right! I'd forgotten about that. []

With this, you can sharpen it and hopefully keep it, later! It's such a cool-looking dagger, but since you couldn't find this sharpening stone until now you'd kinda given up hope on getting to actually use it on the King.

But!! Now you can!!

....not that the King's been that difficult after the first two times. You're sure you'll be fine. But having it will be neat. Having the others here to nudge you along is pretty helpful....even if you probably should've figured this out on your own by now-

{} Ssssstop that. {}

<> We're here to help, this isn't a chore for us, we care about you. <>

Succinct and to the point. You sigh, but you do feel better. Already, first loop with them all, and already you've made a bit of progress. You're still only on the first floor!

Moving on, two more rooms on this floor.

Candle room: glasses in the closet that vanish, candles with pie smell, and the craftonomy book.

"Oooh, is this a craftology book?" Inquires 'Isabeau' as he notices you eyeing it. "Piercing Craft, Creative Craft... Where's the Protecting Craft chapt-"

"It's a craftONOMY book, not a craftOLOGY book. This one is about the study of Craft, not your fortune." Corrects 'Odile'.

<> Hm. That might be something you could ask the King about? Perhaps the Time Craft he's using has a chapter. It wouldn't be anything other than hypotheticals, but still. <>

.....Time Craft? What's Time Craft? You've never heard of that.

[] I mean, m'dame's not wrong in that up until recently it's only been theorized to exist, but, with the King, y'know, doing what he's doing... []

() There's nothing else it could be. ()

Hm. That's definitely a line of questioning. You speak up, cautious, unsure if this is something that will break the doppelgängers' acts.

"....does that book have anything on Time Craft?"

You nearly sigh aloud in relief when Mirabelle's actor replies with a tone that's correct. "Time Craft? What for?"

Isabeau hums, crossing his arms and looking at the book contemplatively. "Hm... It is related to our situation, isn't it? With the King?"

Odile looks annoyed. "We don't have ti-"

"What's Time Craft? I dunno what that is." Interrupts Bonnie, tugging on Odile's coat.

{} Hey! Dile doesn't like that, she said not to do that unless she says it's ok or if I'm scared! {}

<> So whatever is controlling our bodies doesn't have every interaction we've ever had at easy reference. That's good information, I suppose. <>

Huh.

"...Should we have a crash course on Time Craft, then?" Isabeau speaks up.

"Urgh, fine." Odile relents, picking the book up off the desk and flipping through it.

<> Hm. My eyes aren't moving as if I'm actually reading what's on those pages. <>

They aren't?

<> No. She- <>

"...It does have a section on Time Craft."

<> ...it's as if she just knew what page to turn to. <>

You suppress a shudder.

The stranger wearing Odile's face begins to paraphrase from the book, and you listen. "Alright. So, Time Craft is, as the name implies, the power to wield and craft time itself. It's a type of craft that's been hypothesized to exist for decades, but its existence has never been proven."

"Until now, right?" Mirabelle remarks with a frown.

"Stopping time... That's what the King does, right?" Bonnie mumbles thoughtfully. "So the King is using Time Craft?"

"The King most likely is, yes. Which would make it the first time in history someone managed to harvest that power." She grins to herself. "Outside of stories told in familytales, that is."

You grin to yourself, too, full of Forbidden Odile Lore.

[] What does that mean?? []

Oh. Oh wait you're not allowed to talk about that in front of the others because it's Odile's business but what if you think it on accident oh stars-

<> It's...fine, for now. Just put it out of your mind and we can all discuss it later. <>

Luckily the conversation outside your head is still going on, so you very purposefully focus on that instead. "I've heard scholars outside of Vaugarde are really excited right now! Time Craft, confirmed to be real!" Exclaims Isabeau.

Bonnie looks visably bothered by that statement. "...So they're happy because he froze people in time?"

{} That is mean. {}

() W-well it's- ()

"W-well, it's more complicated than that!!!" The fake Mirabelle says, stealing the real one's thunder.

Someone tugs your lips into a pout, and it doesn't take a lot of thought to guess who.

"Morals aside, it does change everything we knew about Time Craft. Think about how Time Craft could be used. The King is only stopping people's time... But it could be used for many other things."

Many other things indeed.

As she lists things, she taps the book with her finger. "It could be used to hasten or slow people's time, too. Maybe make people's bodies younger or older. Maybe make buds grow into trees in an instant."

"Worst case scenario, it could be used to change history itself! Crafting time to go back in time, and change history!"

"Woah!"

You

breathe.

() I-I mean, with how you're doing it, I wouldn't call it a worst case scenario, Siffrin! From the sounds of it we wouldn't have even made it to the King in the first place without you! ()

It's still bad. It's still bad that this is how things are going. And it hurts to know they'd feel this way about your power if they didn't know it was trapping you.

<> ......additional context resulting in a change of opinion is how things usually work, Siffrin. You can't act like this is a moral failing on either of our ends. <>

Oh no! No, you hadn't meant that like you were upset at them it's-

The conversation is still marching on. "The possibilities are endless... And terrifying." Says 'Odile'.

"Definitely not the kind of power you want in someone's hands!" Adds Isabeau.

...you agree.

" And definitely not someone like the King." Odile continues.

Mirabelle awkwardly raises her hand, drawing everyone's attention. "And, correct me if I'm wrong... But crafting time wouldn't be like crafting clay to a specific shape, or crafting a sword. Those are easy enough to do and won't tire you out, but crafting time? Something as basic and essential as time?" She wrings her hands. "Wouldn't it ask for immense amounts of power?"

Odile nods, peering down at the book again with a light smirk. "Exactly. Crafting clay barely asks for any power from the user... But crafting time...It was theorized that crafting time, even to pause time for a single second..." She pauses, and her gaze lifts from the book, and...your heart nearly stops, because it almost seemed like she was looking at you. "...Would probably kill the user immediately."

Your eyes blow wide automatically, and you know it has to be from the collective shock of everyone in your head aside from Odile, who probably knew all that already, since her double was the one to say it.

But this is news to you, too!!! Kill you??? Using this power should've killed you by now????

() Oh change... ()

[] Sif- []

{} KILL HIM DEAD?!? {}

"KILL THEM DEAD?!?"

{} Shut up I said it first!!!! {}

"Kill them dead." Confirms Isabeau.

"And yet, the King is still alive..." Mira's actor points out.

[] And so are you... []

<> And so is Siffrin, yes. <>

You've died a lot by now, but...not from any kind of craft overuse.

Isabeau crosses his arms and nods thoughtfully. "So it raises the question...What gave him enough power to use Time Craft without dying? And how did he learn how to use it?"

....you don't even feel like there was learning involved, on your end. It just....happened. And it's been like instinct since then. Step one: die. Step two: stop being dead.

"Good questions, Isabeau. You have pretty smart insights sometimes."

"I sure do!"

Bonnie hums. "Hm...Time Craft is what the King uses and it's dangerous. Got it."

Odile closes the book at last, and sets it back down on the desk. "I suppose talking about this was useful." Her sharp gaze turns to you. "I'm surprised you're curious about this, though... Siffrin."

You do not jump at the address. It's not like you have a good excuse. You don't have a script for this interaction, so...you play it safe and just shrug.

She stares at you a bit too long. Eyes narrow slightly.

You break eye contact. You can't tell if...if that was the mask slipping or not.

<> Hm...I feel as though I would find such a question suspicious lacking the context I currently have. <>

What's suspicious about you being curious about things??

<> In all fairness, Siffrin, you never had any inquisitions of that nature for any other part of this journey. <>

() Yeah! You always seemed....calm under all the pressure. You weren't really worried about any of the things we faced, you never seemed particularly confused- ()

{} When you don't know things you usually just stare at em, Frin. You don't say you don't know, you just...look at it until someone tells you. {}

You....do that?

[] Oh yeah! When you don't know a word, or see something you're not familiar with... []

() You get this...squinty look? It's kind of hard to describe. But it sounds like we all know what we're talking about. ()

{} Yeah!! {}

<> I'm familiar as well. <>

They.....notice you?

They see you.

You feel like you're choking on it.

() Oh Siffrin... ()

[] Of course we see you, Sif. How could we not? []

You

You force the emotion back down. Time. You're wasting time, the actors would notice you just standing around blankly.

One more room of importance on this floor, across the hall, go.

<> ...hm. <>

Messy room with a lot of paper on the floor. Writing and art litter each one.

Bed with the pillow hat for Bonnie, closet with the...cards you don't know the identifying word for in Vaugardian, rolled up papers you are NOT going to look at because Bonnie's using your eye-

{} What's THAT supposed to mean?! {}

You think about things other than that so you can continue to keep your brain Ok For A Kid To Be In. Dresser. Key. You pull it out.

The doppelgängers play out the scene as usual, you bow on cue, and start to move on.

() Oh, do none of the papers on the floor have anything interesting? ()

If they did, the handwriting is so bad you can't read it.

[] What about the ones on the wall? []

...when was the last time you looked at those, they're....oh. Right. Newspaper articles about the King.

<> ..........Siffrin. <>

....wait duh you should look at those, shouldn't you.

As you approach, your party speaks up.

"Oh... So many articles about the King!"

"His conquest was slow enough that the Vaugardian press had time to write about him, I remember that...But there's no one to write them now."

A hand reaches to pry one off the wall, then another hand does the same. You do so as well, because that feels like what you'd do normally.

It's quiet for a moment as everyone but Bonnie reads newspapers. You spare a glance towards Bonnie, and they're sitting on the nearby bed, swaying their feet.

Isabeau's the one that breaks the silence. "This article is about his slow march to Dormont's House..."

"This one is about him probably being from another country than Vaugarde..."

You stop. You frown. You....huh?

You're not sure why that surprises you.

"He's....not Vaugardian, then?" You manage to ask.

She does a double-take at you, but continues as if she hadn't. "Oh, apparently not."

Isabeau leans over to look at the article she's holding. "This article says there's no record of him anywhere... Up until he appeared out of thin air sometime in his adulthood."

He frowns as he continues. "Looks like he lived in the city of Corbeaux for a few years before he became the King..."

"So he was a traveler? Like Frin and Dile?" Asks Bonnie.

Ew.

"Please don't compare us to him, thank you."

<> I second that. <>

You...hm. Yeah. You don't want to be compared to him, either. You don't have anything in common with him aside from the Time Craft stuff.

"...Oh. This article is about his fashion sense." Isa remarks, poking at a different article still on the wall.

"Huh?!?" Mirabelle squawks.

"From what I've heard, he does have a very distinctive hairstyle." Remarks Odile hesitantly.

"This article is more about his armor, actually!" Corrects Isabeau with a laugh. "They even included a sketch, look."

Pulling it from the wall (not as gently as the real one would, you think), he displays the picture so you all can see.

And as you stare at it, something....stirs in your brain. You barely hear the sparse comments the doubles make because your thoughts itch and your head hurts.

{} Eaugh...stop lookin at it Frin I feel squeezed in here. {}

<> Is...something about this significant to you, Siffrin? <>

It is. Something is. You...what about this is making you think so hard?

Is it the crown? No, it's just...imposing. You couldn't begin to care about that.

His...shoulder things? What's the Vaugardian word for those...?

[] Pauldrons! []

....big, but that doesn't take much thought to notice.

So...what....

....starkly darkless in the illustration, the brightest thing on the page.

".....the patterns..." You mumble, and for just a moment, the fog clears.

Stars. They're stars. He has stars on his armor.

"The patterns? On his chest and gauntlets, you mean?" Asks Isabeau.

Bonnie makes a dismissive, amused noise. "It's just a weird losange. What's so weird about that?"

But it isn't. They're stars. They're stars.

[] Oh, yeah! We looked at those together...yesterday? It feels weird calling it yesterday even if it technically was. []

You swallow, something sentimental choking you. But you need to reply to the doubles. "Those are stars." You say, and your voice cracks a bit. You cringe.

"Stars? What's a star?" Bonnie asks, eyeing you with eyes far too critical.

"The dots in the sky, correct?" Answers Odile.

Sheepishly, you nod.

"...Is that so...?" She replies, brow furrowing.

"Oh."

"This article here does mention his speech mannerisms..." Mirabelle speaks up. "Stars and sky-related things seem to be something he comes back to often."

[] ......don't you do that, Sif? []

You startle. It's...it can't be the same, right? That would be weird.

<> Hm. <>

You're horrendously nervous all of a sudden.

"Stars, huh...?" Says Isabeau thoughtfully.

"What could be interesting about them?"

Your chest hurts. Everything about them was interesting. But, right now, no information is coming to you. No way for you to articulate all the passion you feel stirring in your heart at their mention.

Absolute sieve-brain, you. You can never remember the important things.

{} Are stars important? {}

To you, they are. You know they are.

() And...to the King, seemingly. Should we ask him about that? ()

Maybe. Right now you just want to not be in this room anymore. Now that you have the key, you can move onto the next floor, anyway. After the boss.

So, on you go. Through halls, avoid all the battles, key door.

Big ball head.

{} Oh yeah! Hehe, big ball head. {}

<> I don't recall us having much difficulty with this, last time. <>

.....that's because you had Odile's Craft Break skill. So you could ignore it's immunities. You don't have that luxury this time, because she only learned that skill in response to your conversation about-

AAAAaaaa you think about stuff other than that because it's still not anyone else's businesssssss.

<> ....I won't be upset with you if you think about it on accident. Like I said, I plan to explain it later to everyone. Don't stress so much. <>

Battle battle battle think about the battle instead of that or just stop thinking in general-

Battle time.

......even without the skill, the fight isn't difficult. Just tedious. Shuffling turns around to get as much effective damage on it as possible. Playing it by ear when it starts obscuring what type it is.

It hits you with scissors, you flinch-

{} Ah!! OW- {}

You hear a few grunts from the others but your brain filled with static the moment you heard Bonnie's.

It hurt you. You were used to that.

Bonnie wasn't.

Every time you hurt, they all would feel it.

Bonnie would feel it.

You were bringing them into battles they didn't have the experience to handle-

You guard. You guard and tense and stare at the Sadness as the strangers beside you handle the fight.

() Siffrin- ()

[] We figured out the pain thing earlier, it's not- []

No. No it's bad, Bonnie was hurt, they hurt because you were careless-

{} F-Frin, I'm ok. I felt it but...but I'm ok. {}

You want to look at them, to make sure, but their body is behind you, in a battle stance but expression blank until they notice you staring at them. Their brows bunch seriously, and you force your gaze back towards the boss.

Your breathing is rapid.

<> ....is there a way to skip the other two bosses, Siffrin? <>

You...you could use a tear to loop forward to the next floor after checking all the rooms, maybe. It would skip the snack breaks, too, but...you don't want Bonnie to feel like you don't appreciate their snacks. But was it worth risking them feeling your pain-

{} You've had all my snacks already, right Frin? I won't be sad if you don't eat them again. {}

...not all of them, you haven't had...one of them on the last floor, you think? But all the other ones you've eaten already.

{} I'll be tough, I can handle it! B-but if you want to not fight the big Sadnesses I won't stop you... {}

Sheepish. Not wanting to inconvenience you at all. But no amount of toughness would convince you that risking Bonnie being hurt was worth it.

The only one you can't skip is the King. You want to keep it that way.

() Oh, I hope us flinching in here doesn't end up distracting you....I couldn't forgive myself if I ended up making you miss a move and get hurt when you otherwise wouldn't. ()

That's what next loop was for, right? Practicing with the body control stuff so that doesn't happen.

You just had to make it to that point with minimal battles. Which....less experience for this party meant the King fight itself would be difficult, but.....wait no you'd be looping forward to skip the last miniboss so the versions of them you'd have at that point would be stronger ones.

That anxiety was, at least, abated. You guard for the rest of the battle.

<> ...that all sounded very technical. Is that something you can explain? <>

Oh. Uh.

<> If you aren't sure how, that can wait until we arrive at that point. <>

Fair. Yeah.

You go through the motions, zone out while the actors talk, and when the time comes, eat the onigiri because Bonnie likes rice.

() Hehe! You're so nice, Siffrin! ()

{} Ew, gross, you're being seminental! {}

<> Sentimental. <>

{} That! {}

You smile, but then you take a bite and remember abruptly that it has an apple slice in it. You grimace a little.

{} ........oh. I thought that would taste better. Sorry... {}

<> Oh gems. <>

...oh! So they can use your tastebuds, too? Neat? Or maybe that'll be terrible later. Right now you just-

"...S-So? Do you all like it? Did I do a good job as Snack Leader?"

Oh right, this.

<> Ah....right, this. Apologies if I upset you last time we were here, Boniface. <>

{} Upset by what? {}

"Yeah, this is good."

"Mhm!"

Odile's actor remains silent.

{} Oh. I forgot. {}

() I promise we all liked the snacks very much, Bonnie!! ()

[] Sometimes grown-ups don't make our big feelings very big on the outside! You know how m'dame is sometimes! []

{} Ohhhhh. Yeah, she is like that! {}

Externally, you notice it's your cue, so very loudly you say, "Thank you snack leader for this delicious meal!!"

Mirabelle and Isabeau chime in with practiced agreement.

"Ooooh, this is soo good!!! Thank you, Bonniiiiiie!"

"Mmmmm, so good, Bonbon!!! I feel refreshed, invigorated, alive!!!"

Bonnie's actor is triumphant...but only for a few moments before they notice that Odile still hasn't participated in complimenting them.

Only after Isabeau's glare does Odile give a half-hearted participation compliment, but even with her low energy, Bonnie cheers in victory at it.

{} ....I'm sorry. I made you talk when you didn't wanna. {}

Oh?

<> No, Boniface, I'm sorry for not expressing my appreciation. I...I should do that more in general, I'm realizing. <>

[] Hey, you do show it often! Just not verbally, most of the time. []

<> Still. With the...hm. I would say a decent portion of this group could do with more positive reinforcement. So that should be something I work on. <>

() Ha.... ()

You feel targeted, a bit. Like before. But it's not as bad-feeling as it was the last time because it's not just you she's referring to.

{} What, no! We're all strong and brave and we all know how awesome we are!.........except Frin I guess but we're gonna help them with that! {}

Wha-?

You chuckle to yourself in some kind of...fond embarrassment. They're all too nice to you.

In, and out.

First floor cleared.

Chapter Text

More to check on the second floor. You go through the motions, autopilot to the right, and listen to the others' idle chatter.

() What happened on this floor, last time? ()

[] This is the floor with that...book with the key in it? []

<> Weren't there two of those, actually? One in the classroom and one in the library. <>

() Right, right! We didn't spend a lot of time on...most of the rooms, honestly. Because you've seen them all plenty already, right Siffrin? ()

Oh! Yeah, exactly. You'd been pretty efficient last loop; you'd gotten going through the House down to a science now. Mostly. You like to think.

{} You're doing a good job!! You know all the things Frin!! {}

You chuckle to yourself at the random encouragement, and then swiftly press your lips together to muffle it before the strangers trailing behind you notice.

You dodge around Sadnesses silently until you make it to the classroom.

You've come in here every single time since you realized there was a key in here, and you're pretty sure you checked every other nook and cranny in fear of missing anything else, but you check everything again regardless. Because that's what you're doing this loop. And you didn't do anything but pick up the key in here last time.

Bookcase with the bonding earring book. School supplies, papers belonging to students. List of names. Key. Desks without keys in them. Notes on the wall.

You linger a bit too long by the blackboard on accident, and the strangers strike up a conversation. You've heard it before, and you don't have any lines, so you ignore it.

() Oh, right....this room. ()

[] Something wrong with it, Mira? []

()Hnnnnnn...we didn't talk about it last loop, but they're doing it now so I'm sure Siffrin at least knows, but- ()

On cue, Mira's actor says, "It's... I gave a class here, not too long before the King attacked."

You hear what's probably Bonnie about to yell, but the fake beats them to it. "YOU'RE A TEACHER?"

"Gasp! You never said!"

"N-no!!!" Mirabelle protests. "It was just one lecture, I, um...The Head Housemaiden...She said it would be good for me, to give a lecture..."

"A lecture on...?" 'Odile' prompts.

"I'm... I'm well known in Dormont's House for being the Housemaiden who has taken...The most classes?"

"Taken the most classes? Like, as a student?"

"How many is that?"

Mirabelle awkwardly laughs at the question, and while you know why, none of the others do. Were there time in the conversation for it, you'd love to hear the others' guesses as to the number Mirabelle's about to say. "Haha...Since I came to live here, I think I registered for..." She pauses, but only to look away from you all before answering properly. She doesn't do that usually. "...A little more than a hundred and fifty classes...?"

Both the fakes and the real ones are aghast. Your head gets very loud, which is especially distressing because the volume outside of it is also high.

{} BELLE WHAT?!??!?!?! {}

<> MIRABELLE?! <>

[] HUH?!? []

You wince at the echo Isa makes, his double making the exact same sound.

[] Change, sorry, sorry! That's just...! Kind of an absurd number, Mira! []

() I just...! Like learning things!! And...and I felt like, if I wasn't striving to learn new things as often as possible, it...what kind of Housemaiden would that make me....? ()

<> Is that a common mentality, among your peers? <>

Mira doesn't respond, and that gives you the space to hear the end of the interaction.

"...Should we drop it?"

"Yes, please..."

() Oh, yeah...you've probably heard me talk about that class loads of times already, huh? ()

{} What!! But I wanna hear about it! What happened? {}

Yeah wait, what? Every time you're in here the conversation ends like this, with Mira not wanting to talk about it and none of you pushing her to. You have no idea how the lecture went aside from assuming....bad.

() ....really? I don't...I don't think any of you would judge me for it, so...s-so I could tell you right now if you want me to... ()

She's sheepish about it, and you can hear the hesitance as she trails off. You still don't want to push her but you're also really curious because this is something you haven't had an answer to this whole time-

<> I'm curious too. No offense to you, but I didn't quite take you for a fellow scholar. <>

{} Yeah! Tell us tell us tell us- {}

You suppress a laugh and exit the classroom. Standing silently in a corner while you let your brain-family talk would probably weird out the actors.

() I'm not a scholar, really...I wouldn't call myself that. I just...like I said, took all those classes because I like learning. But...I mean. That's kind of the problem? ()

{} What?? You guys keep telling me learning stuff is important- {}

() It is!! School is really important I promise I'm not saying its not!! I just...it felt like taking all those classes....didn't teach me anything that really meant anything? ()

[] Which means.....? []

() I didn't really do anything with what I learned. I had fun, but...I wasn't really good at any of it. So....when I had to say something about doing all of it...it felt like I couldn't make up anything to sum it all up. It felt....like a waste of time. ()

You

Your chest hurts.

You arrive at the room with the Crest Sadness for this floor. Scissors. You do your best to streamline the fight as usual, and your family keeps talking. Luckily the conversation is distracting enough that no one muscle-memories your limbs out of your control.

() And...I felt unprepared for the lecture, I couldn't think of anything to say leading up to it so I didn't write a ny kind of script or outline  for myself, so......I ended up just saying that? That taking so many classes felt like a waste? A-and...everyone just stared at me. Judging me. ()

Over the clamour of the fight, you hear her breath shudder.

() .......a-and then I ran out of the room and hid in my room for a week, haha.... ()

{} Oh no, Belle! {}

<> Ah. <>

[] Waiting for it to blow over, I get it. []

The Sadness bursts, leaving the Crest behind. You pick it up and ignore the chatter of the strangers.

[] But, I mean maybe this is just me, but I wouldn't call that a waste, really? Learning things for learning's sake is fine! If you had fun that's its own reward! []

<> Additionally, even if you haven't done anything with what you've learned yet, there's nothing to say you won't have chances to use that knowledge sometime in the future. The more you know, the more likely it is. <>

{} Yeah!! If you took uh, an eel-stabbing class, it's not gonna matter until you gotta stab an eel!! And you don't even live near the ocean!! But if you go there someday you're gonna be happy you know how to stab eels!! {}

You can't keep in the snort. That's so specific?? But for some reason it makes sense to you??

Mira laughs brightly, but before the conversation can continue, your hand clenches around a doorknob and-

It's locked.

wait

WAIT STARS BLIND IT ALL YOU'RE A MORON BLIND IT BLIND IT-

[] Hey woah-! Sif?! []

() Siffrin what-?? ()

You DO THIS NEARLY EVERY LOOP EVERY BLINDING LOOP-

You swivel on your heel and speed-walk in the other direction, cursing under your breath.

<> Siffrin, breathe a moment and explain what's upsetting you. <>

You try, but your teeth are clenched from the force of your frustration. This is so embarrassing because they're all here to watch you make this mistake even knowing you've done this so many times you're so stupid-

{} Don't call yourself that!! {}

[] Sif, we already told you we're not gonna be upset when you forget things. It's ok! []

() Can you breathe, please? It's ok, whatever it is I'm sure it's not worth being mean to yourself over!! ()

You force a breath out....and then drag one in. Another time, another, and by the time you've reached the center room you're not as stressed out.

Ugh. Still annoyed. Here you were thinking you'd gotten so good at this but you still do this nearly half the time you're on this floor.

<> Do what, exactly? <>

Both of the other floors, you need to go right first. There's not much you can do on the left until you go right. But this floor specifically doesn't have anything locked, really, on the left side. The one key you need on that side is already on the left side. So you can get everything on that side before needing to go right.

But for some reason you keep forgetting and going right first! Nearly every time you're on this floor!! So you end up going right, and having to backtrack to the left, get everything there, and then walk all the way back to the right to finish it!!!

You literally could just go left, do everything, and then go right!! It's so simple!!! It's so simple and efficient but you barely ever remember!!!!

[] Hey, hey, that's not the end of the world! You've got so many other things to keep track of! []

() Siffrin I lived here and I don't even remember every hallway all the time. ()

<> This would only be something worth berating yourself over if you had a map of this place on-hand. But you don't. So it's not unexpected that you take a wrong turn sometimes. <>

...........it doesn't feel like it's just sometimes, but....

[] Sif, come on. You literally wouldn't even be able to make a map. It would get reset when you loop, right? []

You.....breathe. It's. Is it. Not actually a big deal.......? It feels like one but....but everyone's saying it's fine.

{} Cuz it is! This place is big. Like, really big. You got lost the first time, right? {}

You did, but, that was forever ago now so-

() What did I just say? Would you think poorly of me for getting lost in here? ()

That sends a jolt of distress through you so palpable you nearly trip.

() Ah!! Sorry!! ()

No, she shouldn't apologize, that illustrated her point pretty succinctly. Mira knew this place better than you did so...so if she had trouble navigating it too, sometimes....

....it didn't feel right to give yourself this much leeway. But you would. For Mira. If nothing else, at least for Mira.

() Aw, hehe...! ()

Through the hallways you go. Diverging path, you take the Sadness side and dodge around it to avoid hearing the conversation on the other. Next hallway, g-

Garden room.

You turn around, self-conscious again but now for a different reason. Your face burns.

[] ....Sif. Something wrong? []

He sounds amused. Wait oh no do they remember last time wait of course they remember last time that's literally the thing that's happening now-

() Did...oh so much stuff happened last loop what happened in here? ()

<> Whatever happened, we still need a summary of this room, Siffrin. If something in here embarrasses you, we can...ignore it? If that would make it bearable? <>

No the problem is that you're pretty sure you can get away with not doing anything this time because that's what you did the first time you were in here. But if your family remembers then it doesn't matter if you don't do it again...and you're probably going to die of embarrassment honestly! It was bad enough when Loop called you out for being weird!

[] ....I only remember one thing even happening in here. Is it that? If it's what I'm thinking of then I'm not sure what you're embarrassed about? []

{} .......oh!! I remember! {}

You flinch.

No no no no they're all going to realize you're weird!! A weird freak who doesn't know how to be normal about something as simple as this!!!

.....Bonbon doesn't continue. In fact, no one says anything for a few moments.

Mira breaks the brain silence with a soft, gentle concern.

() Siffrin, you...are you ok? Your heart's racing really fast. ()

It

it is...?

You breathe in, and out.

You don't feel grounded, but you're present. You're still in the garden room. In the doorway. None of the strangers have noticed you lingering, busy assessing the room on their own.

None of them noticed your brief panic.

Your real family did, though.

{} F-Frin, I don't wanna make you scared. Why are you scared? {}

Why....why are you scared? They've all been so...so lenient with you so far. They've let you be vulnerable.

And this room specifically, it's...it's appropriate and fair and reasonable for Bonnie to be the one to expose the thing you're hiding. Because...

....Bonnie's the only one who...

knows.

You breathe again. Even if they think you're weird...even if you can't loop to make them forget, it's...maybe it's fine? Everything else has been.....fine, so far.

You're. You're not going to admit it. Because that's embarrassing and embarrassing yourself willingly feels like being set on fire from the inside out. You're just going to go through this room like nothing's wrong and if they figure you out then you can pretend you're not on fire.

[] ......ok! I feel like that was...a lot! And we should unpack some of that!! []

<> You....Siffrin. Whatever it is it can't be that bad. <>

() Bonnie....? What do you know that the rest of us don't? ()

{} I...! Frin's getting weird about it!! I don't wanna make them more upset!! {}

() That's....that's really nice of you Bonnie! And any other circumstance I'd be proud of you for being mindful of their feelings, but this feels like....! Like he's just going to feel worse if we don't talk about it! ()

You ignore them because that's what you're doing! Mira's cute dying plant, frozen gardener, overgrown turnips or something, tonics you don't need, you walk back through the narrow space and-

don't

touch

anyone.

They all give you the same courtesy.

Because they-

[] ....last time you poked Bonbon in the cheek and they threatened you? I think? []

You did.

<> Forgive me if this is insensitive, but I fail to see what the big deal is. <>

That's the whole problem because it shouldn't be a big deal-

{} Frin... {}

You shouldn't be putting this on Bonnie. It shouldn't be up to them to talk about this for you.

You're terrible.

Everyone shouts at you for that, you wince, and open the closet-

The world skips a beat and the dizziness distracts you all for a moment. Right, you forgot. You weren't supposed to be checking all the disappearing item spots if you didn't have to.

Books where the gardening scissors used to be. Stuff about powerful plants, whatever that means. You don't linger looking at them.

Nothing else in this room. You leave and don't think about touch therapy.

oops.

() .....t-touch therapy? But why would you...... ()

[] Sif, you don't need to try and force yourself to be more comfortable with something you hate if you- []

{} Frin......doesn't hate being touched. They don't. He told me he doesn't. {}

They're all so, so quiet.

Your eye burns. You don't cry. You can't be any more pathetic than you already are.

Immediately your chest goes tight with someone else's grief, and you stagger.

{} You're not pathetic!! No no no no no no!!! Nille's not pathetic when she gets surprised and neither are you!!!! Stop, stop saying mean things about yourself, stupidfrin!!! It's not nice!!!! Stop it, stop it- {}

You....you're crying. They're.......they're not your tears.

You need to be alone.

"O-one second guys, I'll be up ahead! D-don't worry about it!" You shout to the actors, and before they can reply you Make Up The Time and run as fast as you can away from them.

Bonnie's tears trickle down your face, and they sting.

Your family is shouting, audibly upset, but you feel too fuzzy to make out any of their words clearly.

You burst into the next hallway. Head Housemaiden's office. Locked door that leads to the library.

Is there even anywhere here you could hide? You don't know how to close the entrance to the secret library, there's nothing here you could-

You look to the right and

see

a tear

floating.

Your breath hitches. How desperate are you right now?

You try to take a step.

You're frozen. You're.......already frozen...?

() S-Siffrin, breathe, please! It's ok! ()

<> We are not letting you freeze yourself just so you can- Siffrin. We're worried about you. <>

[] If...if the fakes are trying to pretend to be us, they're not going to be mean to you if they see you're crying! We're not mad at you!! []

Bonbon's still sniffling. You did this you did this you did this you couldn't be normal about this for even one second and now they're all-

You tremble against the hold they all have on your motor functions. You...you can just go back to the start, be away from the fakes, and then loop forward to this floor again, it's not a time loss, it's fine-

They don't let you go.

<> Gems alive, this isn't about efficiency, Siffrin! <>

[] S-Sif, we're not upset with you! []

You upset Bonbon. You made them cry.

You need to start over.

{} I don't wanna start over!! I-I just want you to be nice to yourself!! Frin, F-Frin...! {}

You try to breathe. You try to breathe. You try to breathe. You try-

to...

in...

out....

It's shuddering. But you're getting there.

In.......and out........

In...and out...

In, and out.

In-

The actors burst into the hall, behind you.

You choke.

"Siffrin, is something wrong?" Comes a voice, wrong-sounding and wavering. Pitch half an octave too low.

But based on how it's spoken, you think it's 'Mirabelle'.

Slowly, you turn to face them. They're all staring at you with varying levels of concern.

'Mirabelle' has her hands clasped, and she gasps when she sees your face. "Oh no!" She exclaims, painfully unfamiliar. "What happened?"

You watch as she goes a bit too still the moment she stops talking. And...and then 'Isabeau' speaks next, brows furrowed in a way that was so, so foreign-looking on his face. "Did...did you hurt yourself, Sif? I've never seen you cry before!"

Not his nickname to use. You're burning, hearing it out of the actor's mouth again. His put-upon worry ringing in your ears, the sound of it almost.......you can't put words to it. It sounded metal, almost, like the echo that comes back to you when you speak into a can.

You see 'Bonnie' open their mouth, but you think your stress will skyrocket if you hear their fake voice again, so you quickly don your best facsimile of nonchalance. It's a practiced look, by now. "I'm fine! Just got something in my eye when I was running over here." You reply.

Your voice doesn't waver. Unlike theirs. Because you are real and they are not.

'Odile' tilts to the side, raising a brow. "And you ran over here alone, because...?" She questions. Too much, not right. There's no tension in her frame despite her suspicion, there's a strange quality to her voice, a wiggling kind of up-down-up-down to her pitch, so subtle you're surprised you even knew how to describe it.

Pretend she's real, get to the end of this interaction so they can all put their masks back on. "I...thought I saw someone moving around. Like an unfrozen person. But once I got here I realized it was just a Sadness."

She and Mirabelle's actor lock eyes, squinting.

You keep your composure. But Bonnie's tears are still trailing down your face, and that spikes your stress back up. You're being watched what if they say something-

[] B-Bonbon, it's gonna be ok- []

{} It's not!! Frin keeps being, being mean to themself and it's not ok!! {}

<> No, it's not. But we're going to talk about it with him later- <>

{} But it's not ok now!!! Why can't we talk about it now!! {}

Your breath shudders with theirs.

"What are you crying for, Frin?"

You jolt. Bonnie's actor glares at you critically. "Do you still have something in your eye? You don't look like you have something in your eye."

You expect to feel your stress skyrocket again...but what's pooling in your chest is someone else's anger, instead.

{} Shut up!! Shut up shut up shut up!! {}

() Th-they aren't talking about you- ()

{} Stupid fake me!! Tell them to shut up Frin!! {}

You open your mouth to say not that. "Uh...well, I got it mostly out but my eye's still itchy? A-and since I only have one, it has to cry enough for both eyes."

The stranger eyes you skeptically.

So do the rest of them.

You don't usually make this kind of pun, but you need to deflect somehow so you can move on.

"Really, I'm fine. Just gotta wait for it to pass. Eye don't see what the big deal is!"

Isabeau chuckles. Isa doesn't.

Mirabelle and Odile make displeased noises, and finally Bonnie stops staring at you.

You keep your breathing steady. "Let's keep going, yeah? Can't stop the King if we're just standing around. M-Mira," you cringe using the nickname on the fake, but you do it anyway, "Do you know what this room is?"

Mirabelle startles at the attention going back to her, but she doesn't do it right. She clicks her heels down aggressively as her arms go pencil-straight at her sides. She never did the foot thing, and the arm thing she only did when she was much more shocked than this. "Oh! That's the Head Housemaiden's office!"

She rushes ahead, you breathe, and as you enter the room things seem to go back to normal. Relief floods your senses.

...you hope that pun didn't upset Bonbon. You're not sure you'll be nearly as ok if it did.

{} .....stupidfrin. Stupid fake me. Everyone's stupid. {}

Despite how grumpy their tone is, you feel the tears in your eyes start to abate. So clearly something's gone right.

In, and out.

Back to it.

[] Bonbon, are you sure you feel better? I know that joke wouldn't usually- []

{} N-no, Frin and I talked about it yesterday-yesterday. {}

[] Oh! You did? []

{} Yeah...Frin did it cuz they had to and they love me. So it's...ok. It's not ok but it's more ok than it was. {}

<> That's very mature of you, Boniface. <>

{} I'm mature. We made a promise. {}

Your heart flutters in further relief.

{} And we hugged so I made it better. {}

And then it sinks.

[] OH THAT!!! CRAB!!! []

You flinch at the volume and silently beg that they drop the topic until later so you can go about the room as normal. Aaaaah what's in here there's a closet with boring administrative papers, drawings of the Head Housemaiden made by kids probably-

[] Sif, we can't just drop that and forget about it! W-we've...we've just been not touching you this whole time and you don't even hate being touched?! []

Haha what else is in this room, notes about the King, you're pretty sure the doppelgängers could remind you of something relevant if you let them talk but you don't really want to hear them talk again if you can avoid it after you just got out of that-

<> Siffrin, you...you're within your right to be upset with us over this, it's an awful blunder on our part- <>

Haha nooooo it's fine it's totally fine it's not like you were starting to convince yourself that none of them liked you enough to touch you because obviously that's not true and they proved that last loop! So it's fine!! And none of you have to talk about it!!!

() Y-you thought we didn't like you?!?! ()

[] It took until last loop for you to not think that?!?!!? []

Oops!! Great!! Now you've made them sad again with your internal monologue!! You're really really good at that!!

There's a brief period of awkward silence. You hear Isa and Mira try and fail to come up with things to say, and you don't prompt them to follow through. Until....

{} ..........ohhhhhhhhhhhh, you guys messed up! {}

Halfway through rooting around in the drawer for the key, you choke on spit. You think an actor or two looks your way, but none of them pause their conversation.

() We did!! We did and I feel awful!! You....wait, no, you said touch therapy earlier s-so.... ()

[] If. If you're not flinching because you hate it, then- []

{} Frin jumps because he's not used to it! He doesn't expect it so he jumps! {}

<> ....touch therapy. Because you want to be more used to it. And none of us were touching you, so none of us were helping you with that. <>

{} I helped!! Cuz I'm the only one who asked them!! {}

Yaaaaay you found the keeeeeeeeeeeeey. Haha what else is on this desk-

[] Sif I am so sorry. That was awful of us to just....assume that. Crab. We're such crabs. []

You squeeze your eye shut.

<> Truly. I....honestly I'm at a loss for words. Frankly this explains a portion of your thought patterns. <>

() Ohhhhh that's our fault!! Oh Change, Change that's awful of us!! Siffrin we like you!! We like you so much I promise we do!!! ()

You know. You know. You know they were just trying to be considerate but-

You don't

want

to talk about this right now.

Piles of papers on the desk. Random stuff, petitions, more administrative stuff, essays, love letters....

And the only other thing of note, that weird spreadsheet. On the left, lots and lots of names labelled "Save Vaugarde". The right, very few labelled "Other".

<> Well that definitely means something. <>

You're glad that Odile's keeping on task, at least. You'll....all have plenty to talk about next loop but right now you just want to get through this one with minimal stress or pain.

() .............ok. We'll...talk later. When we're....you said we're practicing body control, next time? ()

Yyyyyyyep.

{} When we get out of the times loop thingy for good we'll give you so many hugs, Frin!! I can be in charge!! I'm hug captain!! {}

You breathe deep around the lump in your throat.

Yep. Hug captain Bonnie. It's nice to know that someone wants to.

You hear a strangled, distressed noise from Isa. You don't want to unpack it so you don't.

In and out again. On to the library.

<> ...ahem. Shall we brainstorm? We didn't get a lot out of that room aside from the key. Actually...is there any way we can check those notes about the King you mentioned, Siffrin? I know you said you don't want to hear the...'actors'...talk if you can avoid it, but we're trying to do everything this time to avoid further repeats, yes? <>

....you pause before stepping out of the door. You...really don't want to. But you're being asked and Odile is smart so-

Wait. You're positive you didn't check them last time...so maybe if you look at them from a distance, your family could just...have the dialogue organically? If it comes from versions of them that aren't strangers it'll be easier to stomach.

() Oh. That's a good idea. Just...go over there and say what comes to mind? ()

[] We can do that. []

Ok. Ok. Just...get close enough you all can see them, but not close enough for the strangers to start commenting on it.

Carefully, you tiptoe back over to the closet, and pretend to check it again. Out of the corner of your eye, you try your best to get a good view of the notes.

It takes a moment, but Odile eventually speaks.

<> ...ah. Yes, this does remind me of something I've been curious about. Why do you call him "the King"? <>

() What else would we call him? ()

<> That's not really an answer. Vaugarde isn't a monarchy, it's not as though a name like that would carry much authority here. <>

[] Well, no, but it would be impolite to call him something else? He chose that name himself. []

() Yes, he chose it! It's bad manners to call someone something else if they've told you how they prefer to be called! ()

You hear a kind of...half-sigh from Odile.

....yeah, you remember this conversation. You remember thinking that that name probably gave him more notoriety than he deserved.

{} He's a huge crab! He deserves to have people be rude to him! {}

[] Bonbon, that's not a good reason to refuse to use someone's name. []

{} But he froze everyone! Why should we call him what he wants when he doesn't care what anyone else wants?! {}

() How would you feel if people stopped using your name just because they don't like you? ()

{} Wh- that's not the same thing! {}

[] Only because you're not freezing people! But there's other ways to be rude besides not using his name, right? Using someone's preferred name should be the default, not something you can take away if you think they don't deserve it. []

{} ....ok fine. But only cuz we're gonna beat him up soon anyway. {}

....you could ask him why he chose that name, probably. That's another lead.

Now you can go check the library. You watch impassively as the rock falls, listen to the repeated lines, and move along.

You don't look at any books immediately when you get there. Instead you survey everything from the doorway.

<> I can imagine this will take a while. There are quite a few books here. <>

Well...only two of them really do anything: the one with the key, and the one that gives you a headache.

<> Oh. You've read them all already, then? What am I saying, you're in a time loop, of course you'd have the time for that. <>

......................................

<> ...never mind. I see it's the opposite. <>

It would take too long!! It's not like anything here would be recent enough to have anything to do with the King, so it didn't seem relevant! And the time loop thing just seems...too bizarre to have any stories written about it. Time Craft is...apparently barely even theorized. There's no way you'd accomplish anything by reading every single book-

<> Gems alive, that was hyperbole. Just...skim the nonfiction section and I'll point out anything I think might be useful. <>

[] Haha, Sif, you've gotten M'dame Odile in a library with infinite time! You should've realized this would happen! []

Nooo you just want to get this loop over with-

<> And it will be once we check everything we can, Siffrin. The more time we spend in here this time, the less time we'll need to waste later. <>

You quickly realize the futility of arguing about it, and slump in defeat with a sigh. Sure. Guess that's what you're doing now.

The two bookcases closest to the door are entirely fiction, you recall after checking, so you skip them to start skimming through the top three. You remember fairly quickly that the one on the left was...seemingly unsorted. Most of these books were fiction too, you note with a frown, though there were a decent amount that weren't.

It takes a while to go through them. Odile's actor butts in with a comment or two on occasion, because the only things you end up pulling out are, of course, things the real Odile would have interest in. It stresses you out every time, and you're not sure if its your imagination or not but the stranger's impression of her sounds worse every time she talks.

It's demotivating, of course, that nothing on the entire bookcase is helpful in any relevant way. There were a few thorough research essays on Craft, theoretical or otherwise...but nothing on Time Craft. There were charts and diagrams on geology that Odile found interesting, but obviously that had nothing to do with you either. Everything else that was nonfiction was either irrelevant or uninteresting or both.

Really, honestly, nothing new was gained. You sigh, and at last open the one book on any of these shelves that was useful: the one with the key in it.

<> I admit I expected more. Though I also expected basic organization? Mirabelle, is this normal? <>

() W-well, actually, I think this is the shelf they use to keep the books that still need to be sorted in one place? Normally it's not right here, though... ()

<> .....stellar. <>

() And!!! And the House is, warped, you know! Usually the library is bigger than this! ()

Oh! You feel like you maybe remember that being something mentioned once. Maybe.

<> So we're not even working with all the information that should be available. Not promising. <>

Stress spikes in your chest.

{} Diiiile don't say stuff like that! Frin's already got bad feelings!! {}

<> ...apologies. <>

They shouldn't have to be constantly watching how they talk to avoid upsetting you, that's not fair to them. It's not fair you're so easy to upset.

() Siffrin, I've never thought of you that way? H-have you just been pretending- ()

<> You heard what they thought earlier, up until recently he assumed were we all avoiding touching him for bad reasons. <>

Your chest tightens uncomfortably.

() We didn't know, and now we do! Everyone has boundaries, you just...never elaborated on yours for whatever reason? A-and, of course, we never asked. S-so now we know touching isn't one but....trying to talk to you about your feelings......is...??? ()

You cannot keep talking about this stuff and you really mean it this time.

[] Sif- []

You can't run from this, you know you can't, just...right now, while you have the space to, you're putting it off. As long as you're surrounded by strangers, you cannot be any kind of vulnerable.

You hear a sigh, Odile's.

<> As long as you know you should be talking about this, and understand us helping you is an inevitability and not an option, then I'm fine with leaving this for now. Everyone else? <>

() Yes, of course. ()

[] Aye-aye. []

{} ....it's still a problem now, but...we can do stuff about it later? {}

...yeah.

{} You promise? {}

{} You gotta promise, Frin. {}

You can tell you're probably gonna be frozen in place again if you don't.

They're your family. Surely you can try. For them. They've been so good to you even from their current angle of perception. Even though they can see all your ugly parts.

You promise.

Super duper.

[] Hey, Sif? I'm proud of you, ok? W-we're proud of you. []

Your heart jumps into your throat. You. Feel tingly?? 

Your chest is tight but it doesn't feel bad this time, in fact you really want to hear him say that again-??

<> Can we stay on task, please? <>

Isa stutters, and so do you, trying to school your expression back to normal. You still have two more bookcases in here to check, and the ones in the secret library too. You were just complaining about stalling earlier and here you are wasting time getting emotional in a good way-

You breathe. All good. You're good.

The middle bookcase only contains books about the House of Change itself. Which, in your current predicament, surrounded by stagnant strangers, probably isn't helpful. Or if it is, it's not applicable. Odile agrees. Mira makes a sad noise.

The third shelf was...notebooks and diaries, if you remember right. You...

() Oh, wait, yes, we did look at this one last time. ()

You...did?

{} Yeah! Za almost said the headache word! It was funny! {}

[] Sigh...deceived by my good buddy Bonbon...the betrayal... []

{} Ha ha! {}

You point at the books and turn to Mira's actor.

She excitedly starts explaining.

<> Siffrin...? We already know about what that diary talks about. Weren't you just complaining about wasting time? <>

You can't really explain it. You just...want to hear it again. It feels like you're supposed to. This is something you come back to on autopilot more often than you don't.

You don't know why. You just want to hear it.

......unless no one else does in which case you don't need to-

<> Ugh. You're not going on another self-depreciating spiral over this. It's not worth it. If you want to listen, then listen. <>

You cringe. Now you feel even worse about wanting to.

[] This is your time loop, not ours, right? We're just along for the ride. You're still in charge of decision making! []

That comment also sits heavy in your stomach. But you push through it. When Mirabelle asks if you want to read an excerpt, you agree.

And...you listen. The words on the page wash over you, barely heard, until the actors repeat what you're listening for.

"Ah, the island north of Vaugarde...I remember when it happened." Odile remarks, impassively. Oddly, you think her expression betrays a bit more interest than her tone, which isn't correct.  "Well...'remember' isn't the right word, is it? We all just know something happened." She smirks a little as she continues, and once more you think it's more than usual. "An entire stretch of land disappearing from people's minds doesn't happen often, does it?"

Bonnie jumps up and down in excitement. Not correct either. "I think, I think my village was really close to it!!! My sister said it was all everyone could talk about for weeks!!!"

"That's so frightening...I'm glad that whatever happened, she didn't get caught up in it!" Mirabelle frets, leaning towards Bonnie intently.

Bonnie blinks, and then looks at the floor. Off-script again. "Oh...yeah..."

There's a moment of silence. Oddly enough, none of your family say anything either.

It's broken by Bonnie's actor when they look up from the floor. "Still...That country's name... What was it's name again?"

Isabeau is quick to try and answer. "Oh, I think it was something like-"

"DON'T-"

"SAY IT!!!!"

"CRAB!!!!"

"NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!!!!!!!!"

The same. But it still felt correct to listen to it again. Even if Isabeau never gets a chance to continue uninterrupted it still feels...good, to hear him try?

<> ....do you think of the island often, Siffrin? I can't imagine having this much investment in it unless it's on your mind more often than merely when you're in this room. <>

Huh? No, you don't...think so.

[] I don't know Sif, I'm in your brain right now and it really feels like something about that was...familiar to you? Or, no, familiar isn't the right word, it's.... []

You wait for him to continue, but he doesn't. Neither do any of the actors. Which meant the end of relevant things in this room, aside from the heavy fishing book that will disappear when you try to go look at it.

<> Noted. Where would the 'secret' library be, then? <>

You approach the relevant wall. The switch is hidden incredibly well, but you know exactly where it is so activating it isn't difficult.

The strangers act shocked, you play it off, and one hallway later, there you are.

The pile of checked out book lists where you found the Familytale's location, titleless books next to them, and three bookcases, only one of which you've really had any reason to check in any depth.

() Familytale? When did you need to know about a Familytale, Siffrin? ()

...OOPS.

<> Again, it's completely fine. It's...not something I'm really eager to talk about, but I'm willing to when we have time. <>

STILL........

<> You haven't exposed anything that I'd be upset about. Calm down. Let's look at the books. <>

In and out. She's not mad and she's repeatedly emphasized that fact-

Wait what if you accidentally think about what you talked about with Mira or Isa oh stars if Odile's wasn't secret those two must be-

() W-well!!! I'm ok with talking about that, too, I mean? I'm really glad you helped me come to the conclusion we did and- and I'd be delighted to share it!! Because it makes me feel better about myself, and sharing things like that with family is nice! B-but like Madame said, later. ()

[] Mmmmmmmm. Mine isn't secret secret. Or, only parts of it are. Later! I'm with Mira, you guys are family and I trust you. []

Thank the stars. You're not sure how many more social fumbles you're comfortable making this loop so knowing that thinking the wrong things wouldn't count towards that number was relieving.

{} We didn't talk about anything secret when you helped me fight so you can think about that all you want, Frin! {}

You smile a little.

Back on track, bookcase one.

You skim the titles...books about 'colors', whatever those were. Unless they had anything to do with time you doubted they were relevant.

() Oh! Colors! Color theory is really interesting, actually! ()

<> But he's not wrong in that it's irrelevant. Interesting, yes, but not particularly helpful. <>

[] ....what's a color?? []

{} They're like...weird shades. {}

<> As stated, irrelevant at the moment. But I know enough about the matter to explain it later, if you'd like. <>

[] Eh, fair enough. []

Even more things to think about next loop, you suppose. Or just. Whenever you have down time.

Next bookcase..........a whole lot of books far too moldy and frail to read. Aside from one, which...

...no, you can't read this either. It has a big sparkly tree on the cover, and....no, you put it back, you've got a headache.

{} Blegh... {}

<> Ah, another 'headache book' then. As you mentioned earlier. <>

Yep. Ugh. It's so specific and just like before it feels important but without being able to read it you can't prove that.

<> Well, I'll do my best to remember it for you, in case you end up being right about that. <>

One last shelf. The one with the shield book.

() The....oh! Wait, the...shield I figured out yest....er....morning. In the morning. ()

[] Oh, I was wondering when you learned that. []

() Siffrin asked me about the CARROT method and it sort of just...clicked! ()

And before that , the King.....kind of obliterated you all with a single attack? So you're really glad you figured it out.

() ......ok!! That!! I don't think that was clarified before!! You said we lost twice before but I didn't realize it was like that!! ()

Well!! You didn't want to scare her before!! This time you kind of thought it by accident though so oops uh well! Now they know!!

Which is why you always remind her about the CARROT method at the start of every loop! Because if you forgot to remind her about the skill you'd all be super dead!

{} What's carrots got to do with this? {}

[] Oh, no, not regular carrots, the CARROT method! CARROT stands for- []

"Siffrin? Are you looking for something in particular?"

You jolt. Mira's actor is looking at you funny. She doesn't normally say this, wait-

Wait. You didn't remind the actor about the CARROT method this loop, you just....walked out of the field and she was passed out on the bench. 

Uh, uh, you've only had this conversation the one time, what's the script, what's the script!!!! "Um, you. How do you craft shields?"

Mirabelle does a double take between you, the books, and Isabeau for some reason? And then Isabeau speaks, so it must be his line. "Like, shields in battle? To protect ourselves?" He blows a raspberry. "It would be useful, wouldn't it...We have skills to boost our defense, but a shield would be cool."

Voice sounds normal, so you're not off-script. Ok. Good. Good. Just...maybe only speak up when there's a lull in conversation? And hope you remember what you're supposed to say??

"I-I was thinking about learning! And I feel like I'm close to getting it!!!" Mirabelle exclaims, a bit frantically. "But...I'm not there yet. Sorry." Her energy peters out, gaze averted from the rest of you.

"This book here is just called "Shields", and it's super dusty." Exclaims Bonnie, shoving past you to grab it off the shelf.

Ok, even without a script you know they didn't do that last time. Your skin prickles uncomfortably under your cloak where they pushed you. Stranger. Stranger danger.

"Dusty books are good, right?" They say, lifting the book high and depositing it in Mirabelle's waiting hands.

Mirabelle grimaces as she opens the book. "Well, that's not how it works, but......" She trails off, staring intently at the page she'd opened it to. "Wait...Wait a second."

She goes bug-eyed, pulling the book so close to her face you doubt she could even read it (you don't think she did that last time, either), and shouting, "THAT'S ALL?!?!? THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT?!??!"

"Ah." Retorts Odile with a grimace.

"Oh, this sounds fun." Adds Isabeau, amused.

Mirabelle starts mumbling to herself, pulling the book away from her face so she can actually read it again. "So then, if I do this, and keep this in mind, and don't forget about this..."

It takes a good while more of mumbling before she closes the book, and makes immediate eye contact with you. It's been a bit, but you're pretty sure she took a minute before deciding you were the practice dummy for this, last time.

"Okay, so..." She begins, and gets into a familiar stance.

You brace yourself.

"Siffrin, do NOT move. I'm about to try a highly volatile Craft Skill on you that I've never tried before." She exclaims, body language more confident than her voice.

This was terrifying last time, so you put on an expression to match, even though you know you'll be fine. The Craft surges over you like a wave, leaving behind a warm surface tension to trace your form.

Bonnie punches you in the stomach.

{} What! Why would I do that, everyone told me not to touch you! {}

To see if the shield worked, you assume? And it did, you didn't feel the punch at all.

"...owie." They mumble.

"Siffrin, did you feel something...?" Mirabelle questions, hands clasped in anticipation.

You shake your head with a smile.

She claps, and there's a waver in the air as she cheers. "Hehe!! I did it!!"

Wrong wrong wrong, pitch too high, not the right amount of enthusiasm, wrong-

You stiffly turn towards the door. Skill learned, hooray, who knows if that was even necessary since you'd be looping forward a few times later anyway, it was entirely possible she'd just...magically have the skill by the time you'd gotten to the King regardless.

"Why were you thinking about shields in the first place, Siffrin?"

You jolt. Turn back around.

A stranger stares back at you from behind glasses that catch too much light.

Her tone would sound innocently curious if it actually sounded like Odile's voice and not some pale imitation of her. She sounded too young, her accent wasn't thick enough-

"No reason. Just...want us to do well. Mira was nervous earlier, so..." You reply sheepishly.

She tilts her head down just a fraction, and you can see beyond her glasses again. The light hits her eyes instead.

An intense

shimmer

as you make eye contact.

Your heart hammers in your chest.

".....are you nervous, Odile?" You try. You're extremely off-script by this point, you know, but to get back to the right scene you have to end this one. So you need to say something that gets her to drop it.

The actor squints at you. Someone makes you stand up straighter, and you don't fight them, as much as your fingers twitch beneath your cloak.

....she sighs. "Not as much as I was previously. You have good ideas sometimes, Siffrin."

You shoot her a smile, and you hope she can't tell it's strained.

You turn and walk, hoping no one else tries to question you.

[] Um....can you breathe, Sif? Your heart's racing really fast again, and- []

{} It's all tingly in here! {}

You do your breathing. In, and out. In, and out.

You can still hear the pulse in your ears but- but you don't feel like you're panicking anymore, so why? Why are you still so stressed??

<> ....because some mysterious force none of us understand is puppeting around the people you care about, Siffrin. It's a understandable thing to be stressed by. <>

................you want to be upset at yourself...........for making your family suffer by feeling all your stress..............but you are going to try and not do that......because being mad at yourself..........is bad.....??

[] ....better! That's better, Sif! []

{} Yeah!!!! Good job!!!! {}

() That's halfway to being nice to yourself! ()

....you want to feel condescended but the support makes you warm. You don't feel as bad about having to backtrack to the right side, now.

[] ....do we have time to talk about colors? I still really want to know what that's about. []

<> I suppose we can, while they walk. The world, as we perceive it, isn't actually what the world looks like, to put it simply. <>

[] ....what. []

() A long time ago, we used to be able to see shades called 'colors'. It's believed the world still has them, we just...can't see them anymore? ()

{} The grass is 'grin' and the sky is 'bloo', that's what I remember from school! {}

Woah! That is cool! And now that you've heard it, it sounds...familiar? As if you already knew that? Maybe you just forgot. Probably forgot.

[] That's crazy!! Why didn't I hear about this until now!! Crab!! []

It didn't seem like...something really necessary to learn? Unless history was Isa's favorite subject in school?

[] ....well, it wasn't my best class but I wasn't a slacker. This just seems fundamental!! Or something!! A basic fact about......reality, or something?? Crab, this is embarrassing. []

<> You're fine, Isabeau. It's not like we usually count on you in particular to know things. <>

[] .....guess not! []

You frown. Before the last important loop, you wouldn't have thought twice about that comment. But now you want to ask Isa if he's ok.

<> .....was there something....unusual about what I said? Or were you referring to something Isabeau said? <>

.......not your business to keep thinking about if you're thinking about it on purpose.

[] I'm............f-flattered you're worried about me, but I'm fine. Honest. []

If he's sure.

<> Hm. <>

It's fine! You're almost to the locked door already, if nothing's wrong then nothing's wrong!

() Hmmm........ ()

Floor's almost through! Just two more rooms to check and then you can...loop forward to the last floor.

Key time.

....only when you're on the other side, listening to dialogue you know your family remembers do you realize......there's technically three rooms to check, not two. But one is behind the dead-end row of tears.....so you'd need to loop back and redo the entire floor to check it. Ugh.

<> Ah. Yes, I remember this. Suppose Boniface and I didn't have as much intuition as we thought we did. <>

{} Aw crab, we did pick the wrong side! Sorry Frin. {}

<> ....question. Which 'Alliance' did you pick the first time? I can only imagine being a bit annoyed with us had you sided with us and found yourself at a dead-end. <>

.......no, you'd...it's been awhile, but you remember. You'd gone with the Beauty Alliance the first time. And then you'd gone through the floor again later to pick Age just to see what was past the tears. It's an infirmary.

[] We didn't go through the door at the end of the hall last time, what's that? []

It's....honestly you don't remember what that room is for. But it's locked with an openphrase. An easy to remember one, but it took a dead-end on the third floor to find it in the first place. The only thing in there is a few tonics so you don't go in there very often.

<> The only thing in there that you know of so far. <>

Right. Right, you could've missed something.

Hm....but for right now, you need to decide which tears to clear. Because either way you'd need to loop to check the other side...but do you want to go the right way first or the wrong one?

() Does it matter? ()

....probably not. You just don't like unnecessary backtracking.

..................do you really need to check the infirmary? It's behind a dead-end so you can't really take anything out of it to floor three or beyond-

<> Siffrin. There could be information. <>

Uggghhhh fine.

"Age Alliance." You speak aloud. Might as well do it first to get it over with. Oh, wait, and then when you loop you can loop to the end of the floor, with all the doors unlocked. Which is less backtracking! You'll just need to loop forward again, after that, to skip the boss. Which is an extra loop than you'd be doing otherwise, but less time overall spent in here.

"CRAB YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Sif, no...How could you..."

"I thought we were friends, Siffrin..."

"Betrayer!!! Traitor!!!" Isabeau laughs.

"Let them eat a thousand needles!!!" Mirabelle adds pleasantly.

() Nooooooo that's so mean! ()

Not really, it's an exaggerated threat for the bit. You're in a time loop anyway, even if it had been a real threat you're not really in any lasting danger.

You pout, for the actors.

"...Okay, they actually look sad." Isabeau says, looking away.

"Oh no! W-we didn't mean it, Siffrin!"

You make an effort to exaggerate it, before winking in their direction.

"Ew." Retorts Bonnie.

"Hm. Let's use this Crest then, shall we?" Odile remarks, gesturing to the tears, and you do so, tossing the Crest.

Tears gone, you stride past the frozen dog and into the infirmary.

You hear a familiar little chime in your ears. Yeah yeah, you know.

() Um?? ()

Oh. Right, you hear that noise when you're in a dead-end. To tell you you'd need to loop to progress. You're pretty sure Loop's the one doing that?? Doesn't really matter much.

{} If Loop can make noise in your head why can't they hear us? {}

[] I'm not sure it works like that? []

Honestly you have no idea how it works! Maybe once you loop to the next floor you can try Calling them and see if that helps clarify what they can and can't hear.

<> I'll wait to ask until you can demonstrate. <>

Ha.

Tonics, frozen person in a bed, second bed with disappearing earrings in it, poster on the wall, drawer with grape juice inside, frozen flowers, closet with the broken doll...and a stack of books.

<> There we go. <>

You sort through them, but they're all medical books that mean little to you.

....and issue 10 of that book series Mira likes.

() Oh! That's a good issue. ()

<> ....hm. I hoped for more. <>

It's fine, it's good to know you won't need to come in here again.

Tear time.

You leave the room and approach the row you didn't use the Crest on.

{} ....this doesn't hurt? {}

Nope! Just cold. Feels like sleeping. Feels like dreaming.

{} ...huh. {}

() Mm...since I'm immune, I haven't felt what being frozen feels like, yet. But everyone else has. I suppose this will be new, for me. ()

You hadn't thought about that. But it's not scary, so you hope that eases her worries.

() O-oh, I'm not worried! I trust you, Siffrin. ()

You smile.

You plunge your hand into the tear.

you are alone in a place that is dark

or

no...?

there is dust, sand, lightless spreading endlessly

you are in a place that is dark

but you are not alone

you see them standing there, distant darkless outlines stark, real

you trudge through the sand towards them

you see him wave, mouth wide in a shout you cannot hear

you trudge through the sand

her fluffy hair bounces, and she runs towards you, too

she adjusts her glasses and smiles as she watches her do it

they beam, wide, raising their hands, clasping a ball

they and he follow after her, to you, to you

you run through the sands

they run, he runs, she runs

and you meet

and there is laughter

you know exactly where you want to be

You open your eyes, standing before the door that leads to the second boss.

You dreamt you were at the beach with your family. You hope you can make it real, one day.

() W-woah... ()

[] Crab, that's disorienting! []

{} WOAH!!! That was so real!! Frin you didn't say you'd been to the beach before!! It felt just like a real beach!! {}

You blink. What-??

<> That...certainly was a dream. Is that what you see every time you use the tears? <>

What??? Did they all see that too??

[] Yeah? Did you not think we would?? []

() I was running towards you- ()

{} I was gonna hit you with a beach ball! It was gonna be so funny!! {}

Did they all see that from their own perspectives??? Because you wouldn't assume Bonbon would do that otherwise!

{} That's what you do with beach balls, you throw them at people! {}

That answers that. Ah. Hm.

Too much has happened this floor! You literally have no idea how this makes you feel right now! You're just....going to go check the last two rooms and loop forward again and unpack stuff later!

[] Honestly yeah. Going through everything so thoroughly makes our go-through seem....really speedy by comparison, and that felt long to me when it was happening! []

Like you said, you....really didn't want to stall, once you'd gotten some hope back.

Ahem! Back to it.

With the doors unlocked, it takes very little time to get back to where you were. After a bit of deliberation you decide to check the openphrase room first. Because that feels like a more efficient use of the hallways.

You clear your throat. "Openphrase123."

Click.

<> Gems alive. <>

Yeah it's not very inspired.

[] Or secure. []

() Oh Change. ()

"Oh Change."

You can hear Mira's pout.

You ignore the rest of the dialogue and push through.

There's two frozen people in here, on different sides of the room. Items in a few place.

.......plate of croissants.

You can't help but linger and stare at them scornfully for a moment. A moment is all the strangers need to make a comment.

"Heheheh...Want some, Frin?"

You frown, and try to avoid looking their way as discreetly as possible.

'Mirabelle' chuckles at you. "Hehehe!" Her eyes are....as bright as they can be with no light in them. "But you liked them when we first met, didn't you?"

"I feel like one day you just did a 180 and decided you hated them." Isabeau's actor points out. "What happened? Did you eat a bad croissant, somehow?"

"Did it have a hair in it." Odile suggests.

"Did someone beat you up using a croissant as a weapon?" Questions Bonnie, deathly serious.

"Or...Did someone eat your croissant?" Mirabelle proposes, sounding more stressed than she looks.

"Was it Isabeau."

Isabeau jerks in alarm, which is not what he normally does. Or....you don't think so. You haven't actually been in this room terribly often so you could be wrong, not that it matters. "No??? I try very hard to not eat Sif's food, so I wouldn't..."

You are not vulnerable around strangers. Even still, you grip your coin tightly.

"I ate a burnt one once." You say.

You get a bunch of perplexed looks from the strangers, at that.

"...And that was enough to swear off croissants forever?" Mirabelle questions, incredulous.

You nod. It's not any of their business.

"...Y-You know, I wouldn't burn a croissant!!! I'm good at baking!!!" Bonnie's actor shouts, insistent.

"Yeah, you're really good, Bonbon!" Isabeau confirms, patting Bonnie on the head. You're pretty sure he's supposed to pat their shoulder. "Good baker, Bonbon, good baker."

"Hmf!"

Coooooool, croissant conversation over, nothing left in this room but broken glass. You glare in its direction, too.

{} .....why d'you really hate croissants, Frin? {}

You don't want to talk about it. And...right now, you're having a hard time remembering specifics. You just know your chest hurts.

For a moment, you consider looking closer at the broken vial. But that makes your chest hurt more, so you leave the room.

One! Room! Left!

[] And that's the trap room, right? The one that had the key to the big door. []

Yep. There's basically nothing in there but rocks and a book thief. At least as far as you remember. But you easily could've forgotten and that's the point of this.

() Book thief? ()

Ah, right, you didn't give Mira any closure with that last loop. You can fix that this time.

What else was in the room, first...rocks, book about traps, poster, carving wood....

...hm. You miss getting to carve. You wish you remembered where your carving tools were.

<> I feel like it wasn't too long ago you'd last carved something. Time loop aside, of course. <>

() Oh, it's been much longer for you than for us, right... ()

When you get out, it's one of the first things you'll want to do.

....actually that's not true, the list of things you'll want to do once you're out of these blinding loops is too long to put them in any kind of order.

Only one thing left: book thief.

() .........wait. Wait I know him. Wait, I was right about that?? He did steal it?!?! ()

Absolutely, he did. You wait until your cue in the conversation before rooting through his pockets and waving it around for Mirabelle to see.

"Well, what do we have here." Odile remarks in flat amusement.

"SO I WAS RIGHT!!! THIS... THIS...!!! HORRIBLE THIEF!!!!!!!" She shouts, and you're glad Mira has the courtesy to not do that in your head too, because angry shouting on both sides of your ears would not be pleasant.

Isabeau and Bonnie cheer, the conversation continues and finishes, and finally, you feel you can relax a bit. You let out a sigh.

() It was nice of you to do that, Siffrin. It wasn't really...necessary, and you've done it before, so- ()

It doesn't really count if Mira doesn't remember? You want to be helpful, and that was a minorly helpful thing.

() I...now that I can hear how you think, I keep getting blindsided by how caring you are. To think I didn't realize before. ()

Something in your chest hurts, at that, and obviously Mira notices because she immediately backpedals.

() WAIT I PHRASED THAT BADLY!! I always knew you cared, of course!! I just...you always seemed so causal, and easygoing, and mysterious...but now I'm realizing that most of what you do just...has the one motivation? Which is caring about us a whole lot? ()

You

You feel heat rise to your cheeks.

{} Hehe!! Frin loooooooooves us!! {}

Bullying you...

<> Cute. <>

Noooooo...

[] Heh...y-yeah, I'm not gonna say anything, I'll just embarrass myself. []

????????

You know what! You're just going to go freeze yourself and avoid feeling all tingly for any longer than necessary. Being vulnerable blinding sucks.

<> You can say that all you like, but I'm fairly certain we can all feel how happy you are right now. <>

BULLYING YOU........

You hesitate for a moment before reaching out.

Are the tear dreams...consistent? Would your family all be present in this one, too?

{} I hope so, I didn't get to hit you with the beach ball in the last one. {}

Ha.

You freeze.

you are in a place that is dark

and you are not alone

you are surrounded by a pervasive chill

but the company keeps you warm

beside you she stands, glasses fogging from breath

on the other side, they stand, balling something up in their hands

a distance away, he and she laugh, and you see the movement of his arm, throwing something overhand in your direction

your cheeks hurt from smiling, and even as you fail to dodge the projectile, your heart is full

you fall to the ground, dramatic as you can, teeth chattering with cold

you wouldn't want to be anywhere else

You open your eyes to the second break room, everyone else eating their snacks.

You dreamt you were having a snowball fight with your family. You shiver.

<> ...snowball fight? <>

{} What's that? {}

Does it not snow in Ka Bue? You'd understand Bonnie being confused, since they live on the coast, but you were pretty sure it snowed in Ka Bue.

<> Not much, where I grew up. <>

Huh.

[] Aw man, you two are missing out! We've definitely gotta do that together sometime! []

() That dream scenario was unfair, haha! It was three vs two! Me and Isabeau were outnumbered! ()

Nah. You're half blind, Odile isn't athletic, and Bonbon's a kid. You're an uneven number, it'd be hard to make it fair.

{} Hey! I dunno what snowball fighting is but I'd be great at it! I'm an...asset. {}

<> Good word, Boniface. <>

Hehe!

You feel...good! Honestly, you hadn't expected the tear dreams to be any kind of morale boost, but...for even just those moments, you and your family nothing more than darkless outlines in a void of lightless minimalism...it feels nice, to feel like they're physically there with you.

To not be surrounded by strangers.

You breathe.

[] Hm. Do you think we can lucid dream in those? []

() Lucid dream? ()

[] Y'know, like...realize we're dreaming and do whatever we want? []

Huh. Well, that hasn't happened any of the times you've used the tears so far. But that would be nice, being able to have free will in those moments.

.....you really want to hug them. You don't want to wait for this to be over to be able to hug them.

() Awww!! ()

[] That'll be the first thing I do if I can! Promise!! I'll dream-hug you so hard!! []

<> Calm down, Isabeau. <>

{} I'll beat Za to it!! I'm hug captain!! {}

To think, you're worth fighting over! You feel warm. So, so warm.

You close your eyes, and rest while you can.

Next floor is the longest, after all.

Chapter Text

Floor threeeee give it up for floor three. No matter what order you do this in you'll be doing way too much backtracking. Because it takes nearly the whole floor to get the Star Crest.

But. Like Odile keeps saying, doing all the tedious parts this time will mean you do less in the future. But. It's still so much.

<> I recall it taking awhile, yes. But based on context clues, you were already spending as little time as you could, last time? <>

Yeeeeeep. Although you think you got turned around at some point last go-through, you were still on the lower end of time spent on this floor. But this time you'll be going through the whole thing like three times and that's really blinding annoying.

<> Hmhm. I'm sure you've survived worse than annoyance by this point. You'll live. <>

You'd be annoyed at her amusement at your plight......but she doesn't even get to take notes, so you've got a feeling she'll end up just as annoyed as you by the end of this.

Odile doesn't reply, but you can feel a tiny little ping of emotion in your chest that tells you she's annoyed that you're right.

() Hehe, oh no! ()

{} See, this is why school sucks. It makes you get mad when you don't have to write stuff down. {}

<> Boniface, that is not what that means. <>

{} Can't write anything down to prove it tho!! {}

You roll your eye. You start to go left before remembering the exact thing you got frustrated about last floor, and pivot on your heel to go to the right side instead. The optional room on the lower path.....sure. Maybe you'll do all the extra rooms the first go around this time. Make the final go-through of the floor the shortest.

Through two connected hallways, and there you are. There's like.....a disproportionate amount of things to look at in here, but that's probably a good sign.

Closet with painkillers and bandages (and eyepatches for some reason). Ka Buan craftonomy book-

Oh. Wait, another craftonomy book! What if there's more about Time Craft!!

"Ah...that's a craftonomy book." Remarks Odile's actor, uninterested. "We don't really have time to read about Craft of any kind. Let's keep going."

Right, yeah, you haven't gotten to read any of this one in any of the other loops. Hm. Are you going to have to convince her it's necessary?

"What if it has something about Time Craft in it?" You speak up.

The air shifts.

'Odile' squints down at you, light hitting her glasses first rather than her eyes. "Why do you ask?"

Uh oh. "I-I mean, that's what the King is using, right?" You stammer under the scrutiny. "Since he's freezing time?"

"Do we really have time to be looking into that, I mean." She presses, and it takes effort to preserve your poker face. Her voice is still, wrong, wrong, all wrong. "As long as he stands, time is a resource we need to do our best to conserve."

"....we are pretty close to the top of the House, Siffrin." Mirabelle agrees, hesitance hazy in her tone, but not in her frame. You don't look at her face you don't want to look at any of their faces-

Why are they giving you a hard time?? You read that craft book on the first floor already so shouldn't they still have that on their minds?

Wait.

Oh. Wait, right. You looped forward. Twice. These versions of them don't remember having that conversation, do they? So this is completely out of nowhere, your interest.

Oh stars. Uhhhh-

"I'm....just curious. And it's good to know more about our enemy before we face him, right?" You try, unable to avoid sounding meek. Even if these weren't fakes, you wouldn't want to inconvenience them.

The stranger is still studying you from behind the glare of her glasses. 'Mirabelle' doesn't seem to want to take a side on whatever this was, and has gone back to wringing her hands.

You don't know what to do. This isn't a confrontation you expected to have, you hate how these strangers look at you, it's-

"Please?" Come the words from. Your?? Mouth????? Which one of them did that?!!?!?

{} C'mon, Frin, that's how you ask for things when people don't want to give them to you. You ask nicely and say please! Always works if you make a sad enough face. {}

Bonnie no don't-!

"Urgh, fine..." Odile's actor relents, voice.......normal??

You're barely even looking at her as she begrudgingly flips through the book because hey?? Not only can they move for you they can talk for you too????

<> ....I would suggest asking first before you do that, Boniface. <>

Your mouth feels weird. Your face feels weird. Your heart is beating a bit too fast and you're sweaty oh that felt so much more wrong than them just using your limbs oh stars-

() A-are you ok? As much as that felt weird, it....seemed to get them back on 'script' like you keep saying. ()

In and out.

{} ..........sorry. I just wanted to fix it. You were freaking out. {}

Ooookay. You are not mad at Bonnie you are not mad at Bonnie you are not mad at Bonnie just. Caught really off-guard. And shaky. But you're fine.

[] .......ok. This is a really unfair amount of power we have, I'm realizing. []

Yeah!! It sucks!!

"...technical and useless." Odile's actor is saying, and you forcibly tune back in. "Nothing in there is useful to us at all."

"Nothing at all?" Remarks Isabeau, looking more disappointed than he sounds.

"Nothing at all." She confirms. "Unless you think the fact that some Crafts have a distinct smell would be useful to us somehow."

"Is that so?"

() Oh! The fake me is right, that is neat. ()

"Well now I'm kind of curious." Agrees Isa's actor.

She flips closed the book....just to open it again and keep reading? "Just things we could've figured out ourselves. Rock Craft smells like wet rocks, Paper Craft like wood or leaves..."

Maybe she almost forgot a cue or something. That happens to you, sometimes.

<> ....you know, I wasn't taking all your theater talk at face value before. But...honestly, that did seem like a backpedal to correct a missed stage direction. There must be more to say about the book? <>

"Scissors Craft like scissors?"

"Exactly. They all smell like you'd expect." Proving you both right, she pauses, squinting at the page. "...Oh. There's apparently another Craft smell they're trying to figure out, which smells...very sweet?"

"Sweet? Like sugar? But-" Isabeau starts, but he's interrupted by a shout.

"OH!!!!!!!!!!"

A few flinches at the volume all around. Mirabelle is the one who reacts first. "Wah!!! What is it?!"

"SUGAR!!! IT'S BEEN SMELLING LIKE SUGAR FOR A WHILE NOW!!!" Bonnie exclaims.

You freeze. Wait. Wait wait-

{} Oh yeah!! I remember thinking about that yesterday!! {}

() W-which one? ()

{} Both yesterdays!! And also it smelled really strong when Frin was freaking out talking to that tall lady!! {}

"...Ah. So this mysterious sweet smelling Craft might be Time Craft, I see." Odile remarks, nonchalantly pinning a detail in your shape to her corkboard.

You stiffen, heart rate rising, no, no-

<> No one has accused you of anything yet, Siffrin. <>

But why else would the smell-

"How so, madame?" Inquires Mirabelle's actor.

"This place has been frozen in time for a while, hasn't it?" She explains, and you nearly sigh aloud. "It wouldn't be weird to think it smelled like Time Craft."

Thank the stars.

<> You act as if you're the only one worth looking at when odd things crop up. <>

You make a face.

() Well, they're the one in the time loop. I think they're allowed to be acting like....a main character?? I guess?? ()

....oh ew it's weird when she says it.

[] Wait were you thinking that about yourself genuinely?? []

You!!!

don't wanna talk about it.....

"I can't smell anything, though... Are you sure?" Mirabelle is saying.

Isabeau starts to agree, but backtracks with a sniff. "...now that Bonnie mentioned it, I can kind of smell it. It's very slight, though! You really have a great sense of smell, Bonbon!"

"No wonder you're so good at cooking." Odile agrees.

Bonnie snickers proudly.

"Do you smell it some places more than others?" Mirabelle inquires. "Could you smell sugar before we went into the House?"

"Um...no, not really? I only noticed it yesterday afternoon, I think..." They pause, face scrunched up in thought. "But I smell it super strong near those Sadnesses that give us those crests thingies."

"Hm..."

You breathe. That was stressful for....multiple parts of it actually. But that seems to be the end of the dialogue.

<> Hm. Well, that wasn't very practical information, but it's new information nonetheless. <>

{} We found out Frin smells like like frosting. {}

You sputter a little.

A few overlapping startled laughs echo in your headspace and you fluster. Stars.

() That raises the question, though. Does is smell stronger near the King? ()

<> I don't see why it wouldn't. <>

{} ....I don't think I was close enough to smell it, if he stunk. {}

[] Aw. Worth a shot. []

....hm. Yeah, not really vital info, really. Asking the King about smells would probably be a pointless endeavor. And also just. Really out of left field for the doppelgängers. Not worth getting them off-script near the King, in your opinion.

It's not a difficult thing, the fight, when you know what you're doing. But you don't want to know how much worse it'll be when you're stressed, battling alongside strangers.

Not much in the rest of the room. Book about croissants that you ignore the conversation about, a supply shelf with nothing useful to you, and...

....you stop. Out of the corner of your eye, something you've never seen before despite however many times you've been in this room. A hole in the wall, in the shadow of the shelf. There's been holes like this before, in the hallways, and they never lead anywhere, so it's possible you've noticed this one before and ignored it, but....you're drawing a blank.

So, you duck down and look.

OH!!! THIS ONE DOES LEAD SOMEWHERE!!!

[] Secret tunnel!! []

"HUH?"

"SECRET PASSAGE!!!"

Grinning wide, you waste no time in squeezing through. It's just a hallway on the other side, though. But it does turn a corner, so there might be something at the end of it that you can't see?

The doppelgängers mirror the sentiment, and forward you go.

There's...a room at the end. A room you've never seen before. And...you found it on your own? Somehow you noticed it without your family's help.

You wiggle your fingers with a smile.

[] You underestimate yourself, Sif. Everything else you've found on your own, right? []

.......sure. Um. You hadn't really....thought about that. And also it's not entirely true- Loop's helped you with a few things.

Or. Tried to. Sometimes. When they felt like not being really blinding vague.

What! Ever! You have a new room to explore!

<> The bookcase first? <>

Good idea.

....nope. Just romance books. Nothing that can help you.

"Romance novels..." Says one actor.

"Romance!!! Novels!!!" Cheers another.

"Ew." Objects the smallest.

"Urgh..." Agrees the last.

Isa's actor huffs out a half-laugh. "I understand the kid's reaction, but why "urgh", m'dame?" He inquires.

"Don't sound so disgusted, madame!!!" Mirabelle shouts, scandalized. "Romance novels are good!!!"

"Eh...I'm just the kind of person who has decided romantic love is not very important to me, Mirabelle."

() Wait, really?? I-Is that true, madame Odile?? ()

<> Why ask me, the other one is bound to explain it in more detail in a moment. <>

Mirabelle stares at Odile intently. "Ha-have you...have you never been in love before, madame Odile?" She asks, a strange mix of anxious, nervous, and eager. You know why, but........

oh right stop thinking about it Mira will explain that on her own later aaaaaa

"Huh? Oh, no, of course I've been in love before." She smirks a little, to herself. "It'd be weirder if I didn't, at my age."

You see the actor's face fall....in time with a flash of Mira's disappointment in your chest. Owie....

"O-Oh..."

"Hm...I did fall in love for the first time later than most... Maybe in my twenties? And even then, it took me a while to realize what I was feeling." She explains.

"Oh yeah? Why is that?" Asks Isabeau.

"At the time, I genuinely didn't know you could get crushes on people you hate, heh."

() WHAT ()

You wince at the volume, the outburst happening simultaneously with a loud amused agreement from Isa's actor. And then a sentence later, Mira's actor does the exact same thing, but just with more words. "Wait, HUH?!? IS THAT TRUE?!?"

"Um, yes? Crushes can be annoying like that. My heart has been good to me though, so it hasn't happened to me in a long time!" Isabeau confirms.

"HUH!?!?"

() No way, there is NO way that's a real thing....! ()

[] Didn't you literally- []

He's interrupted by his actor. "Why are you so surprised? You recommended me a romance novel that was about bitter enemies becoming lovers!"

"A-AND I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY THEY WOULD DO THAT BUT THE STORY WAS WELL WRITTEN AND INTERESTING AND I JUST FIGURED IT WAS THEM BEING WEIRD!!!" She insists.

<> Surely you know there's- <>

It happens again. "But...isn't there a whole genre of romance books about...enemies becoming lovers?"

"I THOUGHT IT WAS A LOVE TROPE THAT DIDN'T HAVE ANY BASIS IN REALITY JUST LIKE HOW YOUR HEART DOESN'T ACTUALLY BEAT FASTER WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE YOU LIKE!!!"

A long moment of silence from all present.

[] .........Mira. That's real too. []

() Wh....! Oh, Change it makes so much sense that I didn't get any of this now. Siffrin, everyone's living in a different world than me...! ()

You try not to laugh, because you do sympathize, if only a little bit.

One actor comforts another with a shoulder pat. "Conversations like these are why I hope we'll stay friends for a very long time, Mira."

"Oh! Isabeau, I'm so glad, I feel the sa- WAIT, NO-!"

A snicker from Bonnie's actor, warbly and strange. And then the interaction seems to be over.

<> Is all that.....really news to you, Mirabelle? <>

() Yes!!! Siffrin and I talked, yesterday, and......it's odd to admit since it's so recent I've come to terms with it......... ()

You find yourself breathing a little steadier. You aren't sure if it was your choice or her's, but the end result is a collective calming regardless.

() ....but I don't think I....can, fall in love? I never have and never wanted to, and....honestly the idea in general just felt like....this overwhelming pressure, like I was doing something wrong by not....trying harder to do so. ()

[] Aw, Mira...if that stuff isn't something you want, you're allowed to just not do it! If everyone Changed the same way, we'd all be the same! And that's not Change at all! []

() Hehe...that's what Siffrin said yesterday.....sort of. Maybe. ()

You don't remember saying that part? But it was part of the sentiment in your head.

You weren't a follower of her belief. So your perspective on it wasn't much deeper than how it made her feel. And you hated seeing her as upset as she'd been. So you just...shared with her where your feelings overlapped. Let her know she wasn't alone. You'd been glad it had helped.

() It did help. I still feel a bit...giddy and excited and....known. And I really appreciate that. ()

{} Oh! So you don't have to date people if you don't wanna?? Nille always said I'd want to when I get older but it sounds dumb!! {}

<> While it's true that most people develop a sense of romantic attraction once they reach a certain age, it isn't any kind of....inevitability. Just a trend. And whether or not you follow said trend, you can always decide not to if you don't prioritize it, as I have. <>

{} Inevibility......proritize...... {}

<> It happens to most people but not all of them. And you don't have to do anything you don't want to. <>

{} Ok thank you. {}

It's!! Nice!! That these conversations can happen!! Clearly, based on the way the actors were talking, a deeper discussion of this usually wasn't in the script. But...everyone being in your head allows for this, separate. It's......still awkward but it's nice. Really nice that Mirabelle can feel comforted by these things in ways she wouldn't be able to before.

() Hehe, you're like our caravan or something. Driving us around, letting us talk more. ()

[] All aboard! []

{} We've BEEN aboard, Za. {}

You can't muster a pout, it's too silly an analogy. They are 'along for the ride', after all.

There were only....two other things in this room to look at, you think? A drawer and a letter. You elect to check the drawer first, and-

WOAH. That's a LOT of really good tonics and broths?!? Who stashed all their goodies in a secret room??

"What the..."

"Jackpot!!!"

Insane. If you're going to be spending more time with the King, this time, asking him questions, then it'll be good to have a little bit more wiggle room that these tonics provide.

Again. He's not hard to fight. Just tedious.

Only one more thing in this room. Letter. You skim it a bit....

Someone ran away from home, and they were writing to their mother to assure her they were ok.

"Drama!" Exclaims Isabeau from over your shoulder.

Bonnie is aghast. "They ran away from home?! Why would they do that?! Home is where the snacks are!"

"And also, family." Odile adds.

"And also, family." They agree, more seriously.

Isabeau plays up his amusement. "You've never ran away from home, Bonbon? I'll have to take back that cool kid certificate from you."

{} .......is running away from home cool? {}

[] Ah, yeah that's a joke, for clarity's sake? []

<> Situations like these are fairly morally ambiguous, honestly. <>

Her actor continues the thought in more detail. "Anyway, people who run away from home are...people who don't like their family, maybe."

"Um, sometimes parents can be meanies, and someone might decide to just...leave?" Adds Isabeau awkwardly, like he isn't sure if he's allowed to be talking about it.

Bonnie blinks as they listen. "Oh...you can run away from home if your parents are meanies?" They question. And then their eyes widen in some sort of excited understanding, hopping up and down. "Oh! That's what Nille did! I think!"

Everyone goes a little quiet. "Nille..." Mira's actor murmurs, sounding more confused than inquisitive.

Bonnie still replies as if it was a question. "My sister! I think she told me about it once." They say, smiling wide like this wasn't any kind of concerning statement. "But I wasn't listening very well because I was sleepy."

"Oh?"

"Oh."

"..."

You try not to grimace.

{} ......What? What did I say? {}

"Huh? What? What? What did I say?" Parrots the actor, equally confused at the collective awkward silence.

"N-Nothing at all, Boniface. Should we look at something other than an old letter?"

"Okay!"

{} Hey, no, what did I say? Why's everyone being weird all of a sudden?? {}

[] D-don't worry about it, Bonbon, it's.....we're all being weird. []

{} That's what I just said!! Why are you being weird!! {}

.....as much as you understand everyone being cagey, you don't think it's so difficult to explain that it needs to be hidden from them? Especially since hiding things from them like this obviously is just stressing them out more.

{} Yeah! Listen to Frin, Frin's smart! {}

<> ....do you remember your parents very well, Boniface? <>

{} Uh, no, I don't think so? I never really think about it. {}

() So....it's just been you and your sister? For as long as you can remember? ()

{} Didn't I tell you guys this already? {}

They never really talked about their sister much, to be fair. If they never mentioned parents either there'd be no way for any of you to know if it was for the same reason.

Not that your memory is good enough to be any kind of....indicator for any of that. The others would know better than you with this.

() Hm...I-I don't think you have, actually. ()

[] You've talked about your sister a little, but I don't think I've ever heard you mention your parents. I didn't have any idea they weren't still...involved? []

{} Za. I just said I don't remember them like at all, of course I didn't say anything about them. {}

<> It's alright, Boniface. We were only confused, that's all. <>

{} Hmf. Ok. But next time don't be weird! {}

You'll try not to be, at least.

Nothing else in here, now that you've read the letter.

.....you wonder if this room belongs to the recipient or the sender....if it's the latter, the letter never arrived.

You hope for the former, if only for your own piece of mind.

Make your way back to the rest of the floor. Through the hall, back out through the hole, through the connecting room-

() Wait, what about that chain on the table? ()

The

are you kidding.

You've never looked at it long enough to actually realize it was anything. It was darkless enough that in your peripherals you thought it was just more hair.

But the chain for the bell pendant's been right there the whole time??? So much for being perceptive!! You should've known noticing that hole in the wall was a fluke!!

<> Siffrin, it is not that serious. <>

But it could be!!!!

You grab the chain with as much composure as you're able. You should still have the pendant, right? You looped forward a few times but you're pretty sure you went to every save point with all the souvenirs you could carry once, just to make situations like this less tedious. Plus it was funny to loop forward and go from empty pockets to overflowing pockets.

You fish around until you hear the ding, and pull it out. Finally, finally, you can make something to ding ding like Mira and Isa!! Maybe you can make that keychain you were thinking about earlier too!! Finally you can-

it's not working.

"The chain's beads are too big for the pendant, aren't they." A stranger states, rubbing salt in the wound.

"Oh, that's too bad." Confirms another.

uuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh

() Was it......that important to you, to make a funny sound with us?? ()

You like having things in common with them!! You like funny sounds!! You could've gone ding ding as a trio!!!

But no. Nothing ever gets to go right in your life.

[] When we get out I will find you something to ding ding, Sif. It'll be my number one mission. []

{} And my mission already is hugs!! Belle Dile what're your missions?! {}

() A-ah?? I don't, know yet?? I'll find something, promise!! ()

<> The current mission is remembering things, isn't it? But after.... <>

You wait for her to continue....but she doesn't. Your chest hurts a bit for reasons you can't articulate.

<> .......what would you have me do, Siffrin? <>

You

are going to move on. And get through the rest of the floor. Because that's what the task is right now.

() Siffrin....? ()

You don't want to talk about it because you don't know how. Add it to the list.

The air is awkward now but you press on. First key is in the mirror room. You listen to dialogue you've heard before and give an....admittedly more strained smile than usual. Because taking pictures with strangers is awkward, apparently. You don't linger looking at the picture for longer than you have to, just grab the key and move on.

Nothing else on the right side you can access right now, so you make your way to the left. You still dodge Sadnesses to the best of your ability, but there's more of them on this floor, and it's harder, and you fight a few anyway.

You take a Rock hit a bit too hard, wince, and feel your stress spike again when Bonbon makes a noise.

{} Ngh....I'm fine Frin, I'm fine! {}

This still is such a terrible injustice.

You can't protect them from this.

{} H-hey, stop it! It's ok! I can handle it! {}

But they.....no. You'd come to an agreement on this, already. You promised each other you'd protect each other. That you wouldn't ever get hurt.

But the problem with that is that's more a promise of intent. Sometimes, especially in the situation you're in right now, things out of any of your control can and will happen, and you'll get hurt. You'll always try your best to prevent it, because you promised-

But it's different, when protecting them and protecting yourself are currently the same thing. You can't throw yourself in harms way to protect anyone, whether you want to or not, because they will feel that blow just as easily as you will.

So what can you even do?

[] ....keep yourself safe, maybe? []

You flinch. The battle is over but-

[] Sif, we don't want anything bad to happen to you, whether we share the pain or not. And...if... []

You keep walking. You feel Isa's apprehension, and then that feeling seems to intensify. You wonder if it spread to the others or just got stronger.

[] Uh, y'know what! I think.......that's a conversation we should have next loop instead!! Haha!!! []

Great. Add it. To. The list.

First room on the left side was the pottery room. There's.....things. In here. But none of them do anything for you. And you're really bad at remembering the names of them, too.

.....pottery wheel you remember. But you're drawing a blank for the clay oven thing.

() Kiln! ()

Right, kiln.

<> I'd suspected this before, but Vaugardian isn't your native language, is it, Siffrin? <>

Somehow, your gut response is both yes and no. And. Right this second you're having a hard time explaining why? It's annoying. You....don't think it is, but you can't provide an answer to the contrary.

<> ....hm. <>

Ugh. You don't want to think about that right now either.

What else, what else. Shelf with disappearing equipment, tonics in a closet and also behind the equipment you aren't touching. Clay on the table you pick up..........

Actually. You fidget with your coin plenty, but....if the others want to take turns practicing body control, before next loop.....maybe they can mess with that clay with your free hand when you're walking?? Maybe?? Just as a teeny tiny thing that's not going to get in your way too much????

{} ......I wanna do that so bad. {}

() Are you sure that wouldn't distract you? ()

You're pretty sure it won't? You don't know how much force is needed to wrench back control from them so....just stop playing with it when a battle starts and you should be fine?

[] ....sounds like a good idea to me! []

<> It's as good an idea as can be managed, right this moment. As long as we take turns it shouldn't be too disorienting. <>

{} Oh, oh!! Can I go first!? {}

You nod....to yourself.

You bring the clay to one of your pockets, and your right hand starts to squish and pull at it.

It's still a bit of an odd feeling....but if you're not exerting deliberate effort thinking about it, it just feels like doing anything else while zoned out. Easy enough to ignore.

{} ....I can't feel the clay through your gloves, Frin. {}

Is that a bad thing?

{} Mmmmmmmmmmno. Just weird. {}

Heh.

Key, door, onward through more halls, and then-

Mira's room.

"Oh!!!! That's...that's...that's my room..." An actor murmurs nervously.

() A-ah?? My room?? ()

Oh. Wait, did you forget to make the bomb last time? You did, didn't you. You must not've gone in here last loop. You....thought you had? You think this is one of the rooms you autopilot into despite nothing important being in here.

() I'm sorry BOMB?????? Wh-what does a bomb have to do with my room?!??!! ()

Ah...............

[] Wait, yeah, you did find a bomb part in that house in Dormont. Is another part in here? []

You hiss a little, and rather than reply you just walk over to Mira's roommate's closet and let the actors do the explaining for you.

"...hm." Starts Isabeau. "Was your roommate making bombs? Because with all the materials she has in here, it looks like she was learning how to make Craft bombs."

"What?! No!!! Was she???"

He laughs at her dismay before continuing. "I'm just saying. She has the materials to make a Craft bomb. Looks like she didn't finish it though, if that makes you feel better?"

"How...do you know...how to make a Craft bomb..." Odile inquires.

<> Yes, Isabeau. How. <>

The actor raises his hands defensively. Too early, he's supposed to do that after the others contest his excuse. "I-I learned it while I was studying to become a Defender...b-but isn't that just common knowledge???"

"I've never learned that." Says Odile.

"I-I've never learned how to make a bomb!!!" Exclaims Mirabelle.

"I know I'm a kid and you'd think I DEFINITELY know how to make bombs, but I've never learned either." Confirms Bonnie.

"O-oh..."

You've never really thought about it long enough to actually doubt him...but for once the way he's acting implies that the knowledge doesn't come from where he says it does.

Oh wait you have a line. "What else does it need, then?"

He huffs, seemingly wanting to change the subject into something that doesn't have him under scrutiny. "Um. Why?"

"Za. We have to throw a bomb at the King." Bonnie replies seriously, then grins maliciously. Usually it's not malicious, just mischievous. "It'd be so funny."

"WHAT?!!!?"

"...yes. It would be funny." The actor relents.

"It would. What else do we need?" Presses another.

"Your roommate has some stuff already, so we just need..."

Just like usual he starts saying stuff too complicated for you to understand. You wonder how you didn't realize he was smart until he told you directly.

{} You keep calling Za smart?? What's up with that? {}

<> I've noticed too. And...seen sparse evidence for it, now that I'm thinking about it? <>

[] Ha....uh. I mean. It's.......c-can we talk about that next loop? That's kinda what me and Sif talked about last one. []

You suppose it's fair that the others get to make 'talk about it later' lists if that's what you're doing. Isa can just be upset with you in the meantime for outing him by thinking about it on accident again.

[] Siffrin, seriously, I'm not upset with you and it kinda makes me sad that you keep expecting me to be?? []

Oh. Right, that's....you're supposed to be working on that, someone said you were supposed to be working on that-

yeah.

Oops.

Sorry Isa.

You let a sigh escape you, his, probably.

"...what?"

"Use simpler words, Za."

"Um...there's already a short gizmo-gadget here, so we just need a long thingy-thing, and a secret ingredient."

{} Oh yeah!! We already got the long thingy-thing from town!! {}

"Oh, okay. Makes sense." Confirms their actor.

"It doesn't-" Odile's tries to object.

"TIME TO FIND THOSE THINGS!!!" Cuts off Bonnie with vigor.

You pocket the short gizmo-gadget and move onto the rest of the room.

() It's.....weird to me, to think you go in here every time. J-just to get that bomb part, right?? Y-you're not snooping through the rest of my stuff, are you??? ()

You. Uh.

Technically it was for the greater good because if you hadn't snooped through her dresser-

() SIFFRIN!!!!! ()

-then you wouldn't have known what her papers were!! And you wouldn't have known she needed help with them!!! And she wouldn't have gotten that closure you'd helped her reach!!!!

() Gah!! I understand what you're trying to say but....! D-did you ever try just asking me??? ()

You....think you did? Or at least you tried to. But she freaked out if you paid any attention to the papers. And you don't like stressing her out. It only seemed worth it if you had an actual plan, and you could only make one by.......going behind her back about it.

() ........Siffrin. ()

Not to defend yourself when you don't really deserve it, but Mira literally almost pulled her rapier on you for asking about them?? You're honestly pretty sure if she'd done that before you figured out what the papers were you might've been scared off from further digging.

() ....................uuuuggghhhh. ()

<> From the sounds of it, what happened was one of the better outcomes in terms of your self-esteem. To be quite honest if I was the one in the time loop I'd be doing much more snooping than that. <>

() M-madame!!! ()

You are!! Just going to look around-

Wait. Ok, what do you remember without looking at any of it? Bookshelf full of...horror or romance books? Both? And one that's..............cooking. You think. Mira's bed and her roommate's bed. Plant only alive because of the time freeze, Mira's closet full of dresses.....

Honestly that's a lot but it's not everything. And you're pretty sure if there was anything else relevant to your situation Mira could just. Tell you about it.

() Uh...no, I don't think anything here would be about Time Craft. ()

Her voice gains an almost frantic quality to it.

() But!!! I didn't know Claude was making a bomb either so evidently I have no idea what's on her side of the room!!!! Haha!!! ()

Mm.....yeah. Might as well comb through this side of the room a bit more, then.

You know from experience looking at the bed will make the actor melancholy, so you avoid it, and instead start going through the papers on the desk. Bonnie lets your hand go as you try to use it, and you awkwardly wipe the clay residue on the surface of the desk. Sorry, roommate. 

[] So! What's your roommate like, Mira? You didn't know she was making a bomb but what do you know about her? []

() She's annoying and terrible and I don't like her one bit. ()

{} Huh??? Belle can hate people?? {}

[] V-very opinionated.... []

() She keeps me up all night muttering formulas, never cleans her side of the room, leaves all her weird potions everywhere, and she always sings too loud when I'm trying to focus on something!! And she acts like I'm the entitled one whenever I ask for any kind of mutual respect! Because she's always trying to annoy me for stupid reasons!! ()

<> ...so. A normal roommate, then. <>

() Ugh. ()

[] ....we saw her right before the King last time, right? []

() She tried her best to get to the Head Housemaiden. If she knew Euphrasie was in danger, she would've done anything, anything to try and save her. ()

There's a moment of tense quiet in your mind.

() ........I'm being too hard on her. She was always trying to help people. The Head Housemaiden especially. M-maybe she was trying to make that bomb to fight the King, even. Our personalities just don't mesh, I think.... ()

[] That's fair. Some people are just like that and it's no one's fault. []

......all the papers you can find are just filled with more formulas. Quite a bit above your comprehension, you have no idea what any of them are for.

[] Oh, uh, maybe me and m'dame can figure some of this out? []

<> Isabeau, I am not a chemist. <>

[] ......so not chemistry-ology then? []

<> I know for sure you are not a chemist either. Even if you're, apparently, smarter than we give you credit for. <>

[] Not even entertaining my dud guess? So cold, m'dame... []

<> We've got other things to worry about, and I'm with Siffrin: I'd like to get through the rest of this as quickly as we can on account of being near the end. <>

Yes!! Ok, in that case, there's only two more rooms to check on this side and since one of them has the key.....maybe you can check it in full detail on the last go-around of this floor? Since you know you'll have to go into it again anyway.

() You're the one steering! ()

Right, right. You go across the hall from Mira's room....and come across The Door.

A giant starry gate, locked with an openphrase......but it's more headache text above the lock, and no other hints.

<> Ah, more of this. <>

() I don't recognize this door at all. It definitely isn't normally here. ()

{} Sparkly... {}

<> I will remember this for later, if it ends up being relevant. <>

That's, still, all you can ask.

Final room on this side is the Body Craft room. Or.....just a Changing room or something, you're not positive if it has a formal name, you usually just think of it as a room where Body Craft happens so that's what you call it in your head.

Which! As said! You will check on go-around three, because you've just been moving nonstop and for some reason it's fatiguing you more than usual.

You grab the angry key from the closet it's in, and quickly exit the room.

<> .....do we ever get suspicious of you finding everything on the first thing you check, over and over? <>

....it's not always the first thing, even if you know where things are. You muscle-memory check a lot of things that aren't helpful. You do that a lot.

Maybe that's the only reason you hadn't tipped anyone off this whole time. You're too spacy to remember things even when they're literally sparkling to grab your attention.

Whatever, long trek back to the right, open the door, fight the Crest Sadness. More and more muscle memory.

Star Crest obtained.

Which meant you could check the closest dead end, for efficiency and less backtracking. Which was the...writing room. Yeah. You move through the hallway to the right, destroy the tears, and enter the room.

The little twinkling sound returns, as does a distant mocking laugh from Loop, but you ignore it and press on. You have more things to check.

Note with the openphrase for the break room last floor. Random poems.....including a few unfinished ones.

...ah. The orange poem. You haven't been in this room much yet, but you remember this.

It isn't relevant. But you want to come up with an ending for it.

You listen blankly to Mirabelle read it out for you all.

"Oranges...are nice. Oranges...are soft. Oranges...are frail. When you look at me......I feel......like one. Your fingernail...digs...into...my cheek. Peel an orange open....."

The actors play out the scene and you think.

Even if you wouldn't share any new idea you come up with, because that would put the actors off-script, you can still brainstorm. What was it one of them said earlier, about finding amusement where you could...?

[] Well, I don't wanna say anything the other us's have already...hm. []

() Ha, you've had more time to think about this than any of us have. ()

Very a-peel-ing. Nice and sweet.

But it isn't a nice happy poem. It's....hurting, and feeling helpless. Nice, soft, and frail, as someone digs a finger into your cheek.

If you were peeled open, what would they find?

....they've already done that, haven't they. They all sit in the pit of you, hearing every thought.

{} Oranges don't have pits, Frin, that's peaches and plums and stuff. {}

Metaphorically!

But...this is how it feels, isn't it. You've been peeled open and....no, or...is it your family that's been peeled open? You're left with the meat and the peels are walking around without the substance...?

<> I think you're walking this metaphor in an unintended direction. <>

If it connects thematically the original intent doesn't matter. Death of the author.

{} Killing them........like peeling the orange open and then they die. {}

Something like that? Ugh. You've got too much on your mind to come up with any kind of new response.

"Is it nice and sweet?" You chime in during your turn, and then continue to tune out the rest.

() What about..."Does the shape mean anything?" ()

{} Shape?? {}

() It's...I've seen people put together all the different pieces of their orange peels and try and put them back together, or see if any of them make interesting shapes. So...she shape of the peel when you remove it!! ()

<> If it needs to come with an explanation I doubt it's a good closing line. <>

() Right... ()

[] Or...."And wipe the juice from your hands." Like if the peeling is supposed to be violence, distancing themselves from what they've done without remorse. []

<> ...that's better, actually. But still not quite there. <>

[] Hey, the fake you didn't have anything, so why don't you try? []

<> If 'the script' says I don't have an idea, I'm sure it means I don't have an idea. <>

No? Just that she didn't feel like engaging in the shenanigans.

<> That too, I'm sure. <>

You look around the room some more. Bonnie's doppelgänger has found the Mwudu book, and you make sure not to bother them. The only other thing in here is the bookshelf which....once again, just fiction.

Which means nothing in this dead end is new or helpful. Well. At least you checked.

{} ...."Take a bite." {}

() Mmmm...that just sounds like you're inviting someone to hurt you more. ()

People do that, sometimes. Pain that's inevitable is....easier to bare if you feel like you have some say in it.

[] ......Sif? []

Peel an orange open......what do you find?

You sigh. You're just going to go find a tear and have the briefest of rests. And then do this whole floor all over again, this time to see the dead end observatory. Which...you don't really spend as much time in as you'd like, honestly. You like it in there.

() I wonder what you'll dream about this time! It's nice to feel like I have my own body again, even if for not very long. ()

Right, the dreams. You're kind of excited, now. It's....neat. To have a shared respite. To be in situations and places that aren't the ones you're repeating.

It doesn't take you long to find one. And once you do, you don't waste time on buildup or warning. You just plunge your hand into the cold, and freeze.

you are in a place that is dark, wet, and cold

but despite it all, you are warm and safe

he stands above, protecting you all from the rain as best as he's able

she presses into you, they hide under your cloak, and she huddles closer to him as her glasses streak with rain

there is laughter, loud voices that squeal with every splash

a smiling face reflects across a puddle

you don't mind the weather, so long as they are with you

You dreamt you got caught in the rain with your family.

You shake imagined droplets from your hair.