Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 Grief and regret, two emotions that may sound similar, but they aren’t necessarily overlapping concepts.

Grief can come from watching your loved ones die.

Regret can come from a mistake, one that you desperately wish you never made…..

One example of that is what we can see….are from our little poor friend, Aubrey.

She has made a lot of mistakes, her path to delinquency, the constant bullying she inflicted on people she called her friends once upon a time, hatred for nothing, selfishness, fighting her old friends, and much more. 

But one thing she deeply regrets is how she treated Sunny after he returned from seclusion.

Calling him a coward is something, pushing all of them away from herself, like they once did, was selfish, but blaming him for all her misery she felt is a bridge that shouldn't be crossed. 

A bridge that led him to stab himself. 

During their fight they had at the church, Aubrey blamed him for not being there for her, she completely forgot how damaged Sunny must have been to isolate himself for the past four years. 

She keeps thinking Sunny has just left him, it's what she always said. 

But Aubrey minds keep pushing them away the fact that Sunny’s sister, Mari had died because of suicide. He had blamed himself, locking himself in his own hell, hatred to his own self had overwhelmed him from the start. 

And what did she say to him? 

Aubrey regards Mari like she’s her own sister, acting like a victim for his sister's demise. 

It doesn't sound like selfish act anymore, it feels downright insane. 

Yet Aubrey still believes that, she thinks she is the one getting hurt and the rest are ignoring her pain in apathy. 

And to her credit, she got Sunny to leave her alone..

He leaves her really far away

The one who delivered the news is none other than Kel, she had come across him while the athletic boy was looking devastated. She mocked him as she walked by and a fire started between both of them. 

For the girl, it's another usual encounter. 

For the boy, it's fuelled by disgust and anger. 

Kel started yelling about how she treated Sunny after he had finally convinced him to leave his house, he blamed her for why Sunny never opened the door again after that day, he blames her for all the bullying she did to Basil, he blames her for the album they found in the trash.

And he blames her for Sunny’s suicide. 

A wave of dread washed over Aubrey, as if she had been struck by a truck. 

Kel had explained that he had witnessed Sunny stab himself, he wanted to sneak into Sunny’s house so he could talk and bring him outside again only to see him lying on his bed bloody with a knife in his heart. 

Sunny has left this world, just like his own sister. 

And once she swallowed the news, she bolted in the other direction. 

Ran away just like last time. 

Aubrey just ran to her house, she sought to be alone for the first time in a really long time. At that point, reality had dawned on her, those words she said to him felt like poison to her now. 

Regret doesn’t even begin to describe what she’s feeling. 

But the thing about regret is that it always comes late, no matter who you are, no matter what it is and it will always find you  . 

After how long she didn't leave her house, she was too cowardly to face her mistakes and too afraid to face the consequences of her actions on the people she once called friends. After a while, Aubrey leaves her house to meet the siblings.

She knew Sunny had been buried, she knew when the burial was, but she didn't want to see people face to face. 

Aubrey already had nightmares about it. 

A tombstone now resides besides Mari’s familiar stones, Aubrey stood there for a second, and when the weight of reality finally hit her, no force in this damned world could’ve stopped the stream of tears that burst from her eyes as she began to break down, snot and tears soaking the few flowers left on his grave.

Akira “Sunny” Suzuki. 

May the light of heaven shine for you. 

She burst into an ugly sob as she read those words

It's such a pain to just be standing in front of him, her eyes are like the Anthurium flowers, which were probably left by Basil , her body trembling, her heart aching, she collapsed into the ground, unable to handle the reality she put herself in.. 

As she was groveling in the dirt, a thought flickered in her mind “do I really need to face this?” and with that, a floodgate in her mind opened “I don’t….”.. 

Grief, it's all she can do now, regret consuming her every waking moment, what’s the point of going on anymore?. 

All she does is make the lives of her friends worse, and what she did to Sunny, unforgivable.

One moment, she was crying in her room, muffling her cries with her pillow so as not to disturb her mother, the next, she was walking in the forest, towards a familiar place, he didn't know what her legs had taken her after that, but all of a sudden she is now at the secret hangout hangout. 

Aubrey realizes now what this is leading up to, a big picnic blanket, and it's not even her’s. Memories flowing in her mind, a time when they were happy, a time when they got along with each other. 

Hero making a flower crown. 

Basil taking photos. 

Kel sleeping under a big strong tree. 

Mari watches them, with her angelic smile, a warding spell against the evil of the world. 

Sunny eats cookies baked by both Hero and Mari. 

And herself playing with her eggplant plushie, Mr Plantegg!. 

It's so beautiful, yet the memories stung like an open woundthe memories stung like an open wound. 

She looked at the picnic blanket where the happiest memories of her life had happened, now just a memento of a life that had slipped from her grasp, she threw the bat she instinctively had on her to the side, landing on the blanket.

Aubrey can only see it but not feel it. 

She regrets the words she said to Sunny. 

She regrets pushing her old friends away. 

She regrets the constant bullying she subjected her friends to. 

But she can only grieve.

Then she smiles. 

She wants to see Sunny again. 

She wants to apologize to him. 

She wants to help him. 

And pay for what she had done. 

As she approached the lake,a memory of her freeing her pet bunny, one of the last people she had in her life, seem like the stage was set for her.

Her legs led her to the lake, her reflection glared back at her with cold dead eyes, void of hope, desolate of her usual ambition, then Aubrey just there. 

She directed her gaze to the cloudless sky. Aubrey wondered what her gang would do, she was lost in thought once more before shaking her head as she reassured herself that they would be ok without her. 

She is the one who led them to this mistake anyway, Aubrey thinks this will be for the better. 

Looking back at the lake, she sees Sunny for a moment where her reflection is supposed to be, with the same expression of agony that was once reflected on her face. 

Her legs then began to guide her forward, once she reached the edge, she relaxed her body and as she closed her eyes, she felt her body splash into the cold water. 

People may heal from the grief and regrets, which she has caused. 

But healing just doesn’t seem impossible when you're consumed by self-loathing. 

As she drowned, Aubrey wishes she could undo what she has done. 

She wished she could help Sunny. 

She wished she could heal him. 

Likewise, she would do anything so she can have a chance to see him again. 

Even if Sunny was in the same pit of confusion and self-hatred as she was, Aubrey will do anything to save him. 

Wishes may sometimes get rejected. 

But maybe this one will lead her to a a different kind of hope. 

………………………

………………..

Aubrey had genuinely expected to be greeted by hellfire, repaying all of her sins.

But what she feels right now is cold.

And it’s not like freezing cold, just cold.

It’s not the cold that makes you lose your skin, it was rather welcoming.

And it feels like flowing water around her

Aubrey opened her eyes as she greeted this new sensation, she expected to be in after life, maybe to be greeted by the angel of death.

Yet she only saw leaves.

It takes her by surprise, didn’t she walk to the bottom of the lake, surrounded by water but somehow she manages to survive?

Where is she?

How is she still breathing?

Why?

Aubrey somehow swam back to the top of the surface again and now floating on her back in the middle of the lake, now greeted by sunlight, a warm sunlight and somehow a cold wind from summer. 

But she was supposed to be dead! Aubrey didn’t know how she survived, she didn’t remember swimming back to save her own life.

She’s supposed to be dead.

“I'm supposed to be dead” She repeated her thoughts out loud.

With another attempt in mind, Aubrey tried to drown herself in the cold deep lake she could take, making another attempt to fill her own lung with water.

She dived back to her demise once again, but for a moment she felt like she was being pulled upwards.

She tried harder, but the pull was so much stronger now.

“Please God, let me end this…” Aubrey prayed.

“I’m a murderer” She swims deeper.

“Let me burn my in the agonself in the agony of my sins…please” She tried harder.

“I don’t deserve to live” Her strength is loosened up.

“Please…” The pull is taking her again.

“I should be dead…” Her body began to give up denying the energy.

Aubrey's body once again facing the bright yellow sun, floating with the warm summer, right back at the beginning.

She was tired out. Finally, giving up trying to end her own life. 

Aubrey is unsure of what to do, stranded in her childhood hangout spot. It sounds like mockery as she never escaped the mistake she made, stuck in a place that brings her to loving memories, but not strong enough to make another one.

Aubrey, tired yet still guilty about what she did, is unsure what action she needs to take now. She could have tried another way to end her own life, but if drowning herself isn’t even allowed by God almighty, maybe she is destined to live a long life with guilt and regrets on her shoulder.

It didn’t please her hearing those words, Aubrey felt like she needed to pay for what she did to Sunny, in a way that’s less cowardly than this.

An eye for an eye.

A hand for a hand.

And a life for a life.

Still longing with the dreaded thought of the sweet release of death, Aubrey swam back to the side of the lake, trying to get back to the land of the living but with intention to go back to the deep sea of the dead.

She still remembers she threw her bat in the picnic blanket, still intact with nails. It was another reminder to all of her memories, although it was all bad memories this time, unlike the secret hangout spot it was in, reminding her of al the happy memorries she got.

As well as the reminder of how her friend died.

The source of her grief, both of them. 

But it wasn’t there anymore.

Somehow.

“Where… WHERE IS IT…?!”

Baffled by what Aubrey saw, a blanket of blue and white tiles picnic carpet had gone alongside the nailed bat she had dropped. Both of them are gone without any trace, not leaving a single thread or dust along the way, almost like the place was cleaned while she was busy trying to drown herself in the lake.

The possibility of that happening is out of the question, she was glad for once for having nails in her bat not be removed. Bashing your own head might sound like a fancy yet gruesome way to end your own life, it was her first thought to open a way to hell, but her own heart decided it’s not the best way. 

“AARRGGHH….! WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT!” Loudly she screamed at the top of her lungs, anger, fierceness and frustration taking the lead, but sadness, regret and guilt took over her mind once again.

It feels like someone is stalking her, magically reading her mind and preventing her every attempt to take her own life. 

To anyone else, it was a relief.

To her, it was confusing.

Aubrey still longing to the miserable life she had made, bothering Mari and selfishly deciding she is her sister, abandoning Kel and Hero yet blaming them as she began to isolate herself from everyone who loved her, she misdirected at Basil as she was blinded by rage, to her first time they’d ever met…

And everything she did to Sunny.

Dripping turns to a waterfall, soaking the ground beneath her.

Aubrey once again broke down.

She hates all she did to Sunny, from abandoning him after his sister died, to all her words she said to him, how she pushed him away, how she left him behind, how she acted like he did not matter. 

She wishes she could turn back time, trying to fix all of her mistakes.

To see Sunny again, to see the smiles on her friends’ faces again.

Listening to him whenever he bothered to actually speak.

How she still remembered how caring he was, listening to the petty struggles in her life.

Seeing his smile was enough to warm her heart.

Aubrey wanted to help him, repaying him back.

But now she can only cry, guilt and regret is all that’s left for her.

She wants to go back.

To repent for her mistakes. 

But as she tried to stand up, she noticed someone had entered the secret hang out. 

It was quite shocking to see someone familiar from afar. 

Her eyes were blurry with tears, maybe she only saw some stranger looking for her. 

Aubrey tries to sweep away the tear in her eyes, sweeping away to make her vision more clear.

As the familiar raven haired boy began to appear more clearly, he then started to speak.

“Aubrey…”

The silence shattered as the familiar boy from her past spoke, Aubrey unable to believe her eyes.

“I was hoping to never see you again… guess you finally stop being coward”

Bitterness and hatred overwhelmed every single word. 

The stranger indeed looks like Sunny, although his facial expression isn’t anything anyone can think Sunny have or even want to show, and she knows it wasn’t a lookalike either, that’s Sunny for sure. 

The way he dresses also seems out of character for him, he is wearing a gray shirt with a black ripped sweater on top, alongside a slightly whiter short jeans, but one of more recognize are his eyes are bright purple, the same color as the tips of his hair.

The same color Mari promised to dye her hair when they eventually dye their hair together.

Aubrey knew he was Sunny, but the way he dressed, the emotions his face made, the way he talks.

It’s so unlike him.

It is like seeing a different person.

But she didn’t care.

Aubrey saw Sunny.

Her friend

Her dead friend, stepping in living land.

The one who was supposed to be dead, is standing before her very eyes..

“Sunny…?” She replied, though still hurt by his comment, but she cast them away from her mind. 

“What…? Are you baffled by my look?” that unwelcoming face still there, and even he seems annoyed, “It’s been what? Four years? Took you a long time to open your door…” 

The words that Sunny had told her seems familiar, Aubrey felt déjà vu as she heard it, yet it felt so different.

Is it still her Sunny?

She doesn’t care.

Her wishes somehow came true.

But how?

How has he come back to life?

“Sunny… what happened to you?” She asks.

“It’s not your concern, why do you care so much?” Uncaringly replied

“You are my friend Sunny, of course I’m-”

“I’m not your friend anymore Aubrey” with no regret he replied “We haven’t met for a long time, you're gone  from my life for the past few years yet  all of a sudden you care?”

It felt like her heart was slashed by his words, bitter in her ears  and venomous in her mind,  and she knew what it felt like to speak those words.

But she didn’t know  it hurt so much.

‘Sunny’ in the other hand, not giving her some time to dwell on the words he had given her “Forget about it, leave now…” 

“wha- NO! What do you mean Sunny? This isn’t you!”  

“This who  I am…” his palm gritted while the eyes glared the pink delinquent with anger, Aubrey had never seen Sunny this bad before.

It felt like a different person

It felt like someone else

“Please Sunny, I know you  aren’t like this…” she  took a step closer “I’m sorry I-”

“Shut your mouth, Aubrey” he threatened “why don’t you listen to me for once huh?! I don’t want to see you again”

“NO! Please Sunny listen to me…” Another step closer. “Calm down, I just want to talk with you” 

“And I don’t want to hear shit from you, now lea-”

“I just want us to be together again, Sunny, please…” Now she is  in front of him,  they were not not face-to-face close, but it was close enough to Aubrey to see clearly now. 

This may be risky…

“Mari woldn’t be happy to see us like this, I know I  made the mistake of abandoning you and leaving you alone but I-”

SLASH!

She didn’t feel it at first, but all of a sudden her stomach  was bleeding again , her eyes widened and her body shivered. Aubrey  saw Sunny with a knife in his right hand with her blood  on the blade,  fury  taking the lead in his--

No… This is not furious.

It was so much more.

Sunny was livid.

“Big talk now, huh, what did you care about her? “ He snapped, a shadow of gloom in his face as he lifted his knife to Aubrey, threatening another attack.

He takes a step closer.

Aubrey backed down. 

“She has already been dead for four years, we all have been mourning her every day, we have been apart since she died, AND NOW YOU CALLED HER FOR ME?” Drowning in his anger, Sunny slashed toward his friend. You could barely even see his face anymore, only one eye visible in his dark scowl.

Aubrey tried to dodge the attack, thankfully she only got a small cut from him. She tried to think how to make him calm down.

She only can see her own sins in Sunny’s actions. 

“IN THE END YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT HER, DO YOU? I KNOW YOU SEE HER AS YOUR OWN SISTER, YOU ONLY WANT TO BE CLOSE WITH HER AND NOT ME, DON’T YOU? ADMIT IT!” 

Sunny  started to attack her again, blinded by rage, his movements were uncontrollable. Aubrey  couldn’t predict what his next move was. 

Luckily, she didn’t get any serious injury from him. But his word had been a weapon to her heart, it was painful to hear from the truth of what he saw in her. 

And it was right. 

She did see her as her own sister. 

And it was painful to admit, Aubrey had never had any great relatives in her life. Mari was the person she had a dream of sharing blood with, so much so she often forgets that Sunny is her actual sibling and not Aubrey, especially after her suicide. 

The fact, she believed the idea that Sunny didn’t care.

The fact she thought she was better than him for the past four years. 

The fact she just lech-.

Now she understood why she was here.

She isn’t alive.

She isn’t supposed to be here.

This isn’t heaven.

This isn’t hell.

This isn’t her world.

She is an anomaly.

This world is her way to redeem herself. 

“WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT ME NOW!” Sunny swings his arm, another attempt to hurt his friend, but now he went fully by anger and hatred. Sunny had put all of his strength into one final swings with no right mind, one that would put her at fatal condition.

And as the knife landed, striking the sinner…

Aubrey blocks the slash…

Dripping blood all over her arm…

Tuning down his anger…

Sunny eyes widen from his own act, no longer dwelling in his livid state nor hatred for his old friend. All he feels is a shock of what he had done to the pink delinquent, her left arm all red from blocking a knife swing from him, her jacket is ripped and stains of blood are present. 

Yet despite all the pain he had caused, Aubrey went to Sunny and grab his hands, unable to react and unable to leave. 

“What are you doi-”

“I WANT TO SAVE YOU!” His words had been cut short by her, tears presented in her eyes, shock delivered to him.

“YOU ARE MY FRIENDS SUNNY, I HAVE SEEN YOU AS SOMEONE SPECIAL IN MY LIFE,  AND I'M THE BAD PERSON TO DENY IT!” She confessed loudly.

“I HAVE FORGETTING FOR LONG TIME, IGNORING YOU WHEN I COULD HAVE REACHED YOU, WATCHING YOU DIE BECAUSE OF ME! WHAT I DID WAS WRONG AND YOU COULD HATE ME ALL YOU WANT, I DESERVE IT!” A sight Sunny can believe, yet confusing in his own mind, he stood there facing his friend crying as she said a word he had never expected to receive.

A confession.

“BUT PLEASE SUNNY! I’VE ALREADY SEEN YOUR GRAVE ONCE, I MAY ACT IGNORANT BUT NOW I REALIZE THE STRUGGLE YOU HAVE NOW, GIVE ME A CHANCE TO SAVE YOU NOW ! ” 

Her body began to shake, Her exhaustion had hit her and her blood had begun affecting her mind.

As she kneeled down, trying to back up, her hands still clutched Sunny’s hands, she began to mumbled words he couldn’t process the meaning of. 

Sunny now kneeled to be at eye level with Aubrey, as his gaze landed on her hands he saw the trail of blood from her shoulder to all over her hands, it was all shimmering in red blood. 

It was now he realizes how bad the wounds he had caused were, hiding in stained clothes the blood had been pouring out of her body more and more as time passed. 

With all his strength, Sunny tried to close the wound he had caused, he was desperate to stop the bleeding. He moved his hand to Aubrey as he tried to lift her up, moving her to someone who was capable of treating her injury properly.

As Sunny tried to leave the hangout spot while hauling her, she holds him in a hug tightly for a moment as she mumbled her last word. 

“I’m sorry...” She said.

“Please… forgive me…”

“Don’t… leave…”

As her grip loosened up, Sunny watched as she smiles for the first time he sees. 

“I… miss… you…” 

Once her eyes closed, his legs worked as hard as they could. Carrying Aubrey, he ran to get some help as fast as he could. 

He won’t let another life vanish in front of his eyes.

Not again.

The words Aubrey had told him come to mind, the girl had been believing that he had been dead because of her fault. It still confused him, wondering what Aubrey means by “Seeing Sunny’s grave” or “Her fault.” 

He is determined to know her more again, just like old times. 

It felt like old times.

Chapter Text

……………………………………..

One of the things people associate with sadness is rain. 

It was pretty nice to symbolize when you break it down, tears dripping from eyes can be a  parallel  to how water comes down from the clouds, the cold wind can be interpreted as  how lonely your heart is. 

But does  that mean rain  is the same as sadness?

Well…

“Sunny! Basil! What took you so long?” 

Of course not, not for everyone at least.

Children from Faraway Town love rain, to them this is a rare chance to play with water. The  puddles that have been created are like lily pads for frogs, they will jump from  one puddle to another while wearing waterproof vests. 

Or for introverted one, like Sunny, gazing at the rain alone  is already its own fun time. Cold wind and ticking sounds from water drops are enough to satisfy a watcher, a kid like Sunny.

But for the rest of children, once it rains, a lot of them will come and play happily together. Playing it or simply finding out who is the faster is a common sight in Faraway Town, it is not so different from not having rain, maybe even merrier. 

And all in all, they are having fun with each other!

“No, Kel! YOU are the gross color!”

Well… some of them are exceptions, sometimes…

 Kel and Aubrey’s relationship are like a brother and sister who  bond  via fighting. This time, the topic Kel had a laugh  about is her favorite color, pink, which  is like bread and butter for her, yet the orange boy just mocks it as a gross color.

And the responses are… just like as others expected from her. 

“Orange are superior to pink, Aubrey. You don’t understand” Like other children at his age, they are now bickering as they watch the rain. 

“You are the one who doesn’t understand, you stupid Kel” Aubrey told him back, gripping onto her umbrella as she speaks. 

As his response, Kel just sticks his tongue out. Like any child at her age, Aubrey gets angrier by the simple act. 

As the two bicker in the cold rain, Aubrey takes a moment to look at Sunny, hoping to help her explain to Kel how beautiful the color pink is. 

He is the one who said it, after all. 

What she got was for the two pairs of eyes to look for a moment, petrified but not afraid , as their gaze locked onto   each other. 

Sunny was  the one who broke the awkward stare as his red ears came into view, he is a shy person, so this isn’t  new for her, Aubrey rather quite expected him to be the one who broke the gaze. 

And as fast as wind moved, the ‘friendly’ fight with Kel had  already been finished, but he's now making a gagged motion, as if he was trying  to throw up.

“GET A ROOM YOU TWO! Why do you need to act like Mari and Hero too?!” He said with a disgusted look in his face, immediately getting hit by a pink umbrella by a red face girl. 

“STUPID KEL!” Bashing her umbrella as she speaks, he's always talking nonsense and really an unpredictable friend, like how  he compares them to Hero and Mari, they are a couple!

And she and Sunny is…

She and Sunny…

Aubrey dismisses the idea of them being a couple because no, no way she and Sunny could be a couple, it just never be.

Sure, her and Sunny have some daily secret time, but it mostly her complaining of her own life to Sunny. He just cares a lot to her, not love like Hero and Mari. 

They both are match in heaven, no one can break them apart.

Even though she quite–

“Do I sense a little crush?” The word rang to her like amber alert, Aubrey’s shock hearing Basil all of a sudden and immediately strike her with an absurd guess. 

As he sees Basil, the words thankfully aren’t meant for her. She's just overhearing his conversation 

His conversation with Sunny…

She was stunned

Her gaze locked onto his face. 

He looked back at her. 

In her own mind, the awkwardness she felt made her want to scream. It’s not helping how beautiful his face is.

But on the outside she smiles at Sunny, keeping her panic and steadying her breath. 

In return, he blushed as he broke his eyes away from  her, holding a picture tightly as he returns it to its blonde owner.

Aubrey immediately went to Kel again, to cowardly to see his magnificent face and warm due to unknown feeling she felt. It makes her heartbeat faster, it makes her emotions a mess, it makes her want to see Sunny more often.

In the end, Mari and Hero call them into Sunny’s House, in the door they stood holding a tray full of tasty cookies they had  prepared.

As Aubrey was trying to respond to  the invitation, the rain suddenly went rouge. She still can walk, but the breeze made her body colder and the water drops made her vision blurry.

But despite the challenge, The little Aubrey went inside with ease and no injury in slightless.

Even if she is blind in the darkest night, Aubrey knows where to go.

Even if she is stranded in the most crowded city, Aubrey knows what to do.

Even if she is alone in the loneliest highway, Aubrey knows she wouldn’t cry

Because she had home

She had someone to see

She had her friends.

And when she is cold in the worst rain?

She had her warm emotions from everyone and herself.

Her bright future waiting for her.

Hopefully…

…………………………………………………………………

A room with a lost memory.

A room with no warmth

A room with stranded hope.

There lies a girl, bandaged all over the left side of her body.

Her stained jacket was present in the chair beside her, still warm, indicating someone was waiting for her. 

A girl who defied the rules of nature.

A sinner.

A coward.

Aubrey, a girl who cheated death against her will.

Aubrey cast those thoughts from her mind to make room to think about whatever the hell she just went through

Minutes went by, despite the moon shining through the window, she finally opens her eyes.

‘Where… Am I?’ The stranded girl asks, she was once asleep in peace inside a familiar room she once knew like the back of her hand.

There’s another empty bed beside her, dust spread like sand. Unkempt as no one has slept there in ages, but still being kept like a memorial. 

And other than the cabinet, computer and desk, there isn’t any furniture in her sight, the room feels so empty, has any soul resided in here?

The sense of déjà vu overwhelms her once more, memories from the past resurrected in her mind. She knew this isn’t her room, and while this room felt empty, it resides in her mind as the safest place in her life. 

She knew whose room this one was.

It’s his room

Sunny’s room

“Aubrey…?” The boy she had mentioned appeared, he stood, holding what looked like a first aid kit and a wet towel. The look of fury in his eyes softened, he must’ve been exhausted from something, but Aubrey didn’t have time to dwell on what. 

“Sunny? Is that you?” The girl asked him back, and she cast him a surprised look. The delinquent was informed that he was dead not long ago, bleeding to death as he rested in his own bed, but now he is standing there observing her like someone new. 

“You should rest, idiot” he says with that same harsh demeanor from the last encounter, but he lets his guard down, letting his true feelings bloom like a tulip in the morning. “Your wound is still fresh, don’t move…” now with slight care in his voice.

“Wha- are you real– ACK! Ow…” Pain hit her hard, the wound caused by this purple boy making her jolt more awake as she tried to move.

“I said don’t move, dammit!” Annoyed by her, he then went to her side. Sitting on an empty chair beside the bed as he helped Aubrey change her position, from just sleeping in a fluffy bed and making her lean against the wall as he lifted her, putting them on the same eye level, which results in direct eye contact between the both of them.

There were so many emotions suddenly spinning around in her mind, Aubrey felt excitement, fear, shock, guilt, and confusion all at once as she realized where she was.

‘I should be dead, shouldn't I?’ She questioned, with no answer as her voice echoed in her own head.

“Are you okay?” Sunny asked, he was still looking at her left side. Guilt presented in his tired eyes.

Aubrey noticed the eyes of Sunny as he was staring at the wounded arm.” It's okay Sunny, I–It’s my fault to begin with, I–I– I shouldn’t enra- “

“Cut the crap, Aubrey, stop it!” Her apology had been cut short by the boy, annoyed while showing worry, readable as his face turned to another emotion. “And no, like are you really, REALLY okay right now Aubrey? You have been saying a lot of shit that didn’t make sense! ARE YOU NUTS?!”

The sudden pressure shocked Aubrey, she can feel the stress behind his voice, mixed with his usual anger. His eyes, however, were not filled by that hatred that she saw after waking up. 

This one… Is different.

“I…I… I don’t know…” she replied, after having been pointed out by Sunny, she wasn't even sure if she is even sane anymore. I mean, he’s alive in front of her, right?

Sunny watches her showing her broken face, sad emotion running wild like a pack of scared deer with grief and guilt. Her blue eyes shone like white sapphire, but it gave him a sign how unstable she. 

“How are you still alive…?” the girl asked him. 

The sudden question made him confused, her tired look with a piercing gaze filled with hope like she had never had before, it’s such an uncanny sight to see how messed up she is, yet with the face of distraught, confusion, guilt, sadness was combined by a glimmer of hope. 

But like in the beginning, it didn’t help his confusion.

“What do you mean…?” the delinquent boy ask, “I have never been dead, Aubrey, I don’t know who informed you about it or which gravestone you think is mine, but I’m alive and well.” 

“Bu- How? Kel never joked about this stuff, and I already see it by my own eyes Sunny, You already–” 

“THEN TELL ME HOW I DIED!” He shouted, his eyes focused on her. Purple eyes met bright blue, the seriousness in his face is readable. From the start, he always wondered what the source of those insane statements is, one flaw that makes him question who she actually is. 

“Tell me how I died. Tell me truthfully, Aubrey Williams…” He restated, determined to know of what insanity she had to see or lies. 

As she registered, the sins she had cause come to her mind. Telling him the truth may a one way to make him to hate her, guilt fueled her desire to tell him what she did while the fear added reluctance to her words. 

But in the end, hatred for herself led Aubrey to tell him what happened. 

“Yo- You killed yourself, Sunny, Kel had found you lying in your bed bleeding to death, you stabbed yourself” With shaky voice she answered. 

Sunny had expected every possible option he had to die in her vision, being killed out of hate, getting hit by a truck, falling from a high place, and many more. But leaving the world the same way his sister left is not what he expected. 

He knew it wasn’t true. 

He knew, yet he wonders. 

“Why would I even kill my self?” He tells her, “No, no, that’s wrong. Why would you think I even want to kill my self, Aubrey? Tell me more, you sound like you’re just lying, why?”

“It- it- it was my fault…” she replied, guilt grabbing her heart, “I’m the one who pushed you… I’m sorry…” 

Tear rolling in her eyes one more time, hesitation holding her back, the truth in her mouth, yet she can’t help to fear the possibilities after letting them out.

“I’m the one who made you die…” she continues, “When you had just gone outside after 4 years being alone in your house, the first thing I do to you is blame you, I didn’t know how fra- No, I didn’t even care about you before, I JUST MOCKED YOU, I BLAMED YOU FOR EVERYTHING, YET I COULDN’T SEE YOU HURTING!, I’M SELFISH, MY WORDS LEAD YOU TO DIE, I DIDN’T MEAN IT!, IT'S MY FAULT, I’M SORRY! ” She succumbed to sadness one more time, powered by guilt and hatred to her own self, Aubrey sobbing as Sunny watched her in silence. 

The truth that Sunny got made the situation more confusing, he knew that Aubrey wouldn’t lie or even joke, not even to this point, but the words she gave him are like a cheap joke story she made with the twist of their miserable life. 

Sunny is not a hikikomori, he never locked himself away, but she is the one who did it. He never saw Aubrey till this time for 4 years, in that time he knew Aubrey had never gone to a different place other than her own house, it didn’t make sense at all. 

And the first time he saw her was in the park, if Sunny did lock himself in for four years and got out for the first time, the secret hangout would be the last thing he ever visits, and he sure Aubrey would do the same.

He recalls that her clothing are wet, somehow, it’s either she went for a swim in the lake for some reason or-

No.

She wouldn’t do it.

Not this far.

“Don’t tell me you tried to kill yourself” He spoke, worried by his speculation “When we met you were so wet, You didn’t do it did you…”

Sunny can’t see her face, but the silent answer is already enough for him to prove his hunch. 

“Wh– ARE YOU INSANE?!?!” Sunny was shocked, he hated how she acted, running away was the option she chose. “Why did you do that?! This isn–” 

“BECAUSE I DESERVE IT!” Aubrey reasoned, the waterfall from her eyes still hadn’t dried out, pain presented in her face. “I know you would hate me because what I did, it’s only justified if I died, I was too late to be there with you, I should be with you, I should care about you, I should just die.” 

The words rang in Sunny head, she is right about the fact that he hated her. He hated how she suddenly appeared in his life, he hated how she constantly cried, he hated hearing the story she had given him.

But the fact that he hated her… it’s just sounds wrong.

Too wrong.

Too painful.

Too strange. 

No… in the end, his heart always loves her, he loves those time when he meet her, he loves spending time with her, he loves swinging in the park with her, talking, playing, anything with her.

Those memories…

Those times…

And knowing she tried to drown on purpose…

New feelings started to bloom.

“You are wrong…” The boy said, caringly in his own way, “If you know me, you should know how I hated to be alone, and I don’t want to be a burden to everyone else, why did you just run away? Why did you just follow her way? Why did you do this? This isn’t your fault! I hate this, I hate you always running away from my life, I hate how much of a coward you are, I hate how you always leave me!” 

Sunny then holding her, avoiding the wound but hugging her carefully, “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST STICK AROUND WITH ME? WHY YOU MUST DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU ALWAYS BEING ALONE! I HATE TO BE ALONE! WHY CAN’T WE BE TOGETHER AGAIN?! WHY DID YOU TRY TO LEAVE ME?! ” 

The pink girl response with more tears, giving him back the hug. It was like rain, water flooding from her eyes, dropping like if it was coming from the sky, the sadness overwhelming her mind, cold like the breeze of rain. 

But like the faraway kids, there will always be warm in there. 

“I’m sorry…” she apologized, “I– shouldn’t have done that again, I was wrong, I should face what I did, I–”

“Stop…” He cut Aubrey’s words off. “I don’t want to hear it, I’m tired, I don’t want to hear whatever it is, I just want to be like this again, I’m tired of being alone.”

The only thing that can be heard from that was sobbing, coming from both of them. As the two delinquents embrace their feeling, eventually tired and drowsiness take the best of them. In the end, they both sleep as they're hugging as if the only warmth they can get is from each other.

“Thank… You…” The girl said, the last word before lost her consciousness to her dream land.

Even thought there’s still mysteries that still haven’t been solved, there’s still another day.

And like an unfinished story that was being made, they both had many things to write for themselves.

Chapter Text

The start of morning is something you don't want to miss. 

Sounds of chirping birds ringing through your ears. 

Flowers began to open up their crowns, rising from slumber to receive sunlight. 

At a time like this, starting your journey is the right decision you can make. 

And Sunny does just that. 

Awakening early in the morning is the go-to decision everyday, fresh starts are what he needs to have for dealing with the rest of his day. Sleeping as early as possible and waking up early are habits he made a long time ago. 

Long time ago as everything changed. 

Long time as his sister took her own life. 

Long time as he sees her soulless body embrace earth. 

Long time as he… 

“No, don't think about it again” he whispered to himself, it's too early for something like that, and considering last night even he didn't want to deal with something that broke his own heart for a while. 

Last night was a long night, he was surprised that he could wake up early in the morning. 

Last night… 

Last… night…

…

…

…

“WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK????? IT’S NOT REAL, RIGHT???? SHE ISN’T HERE, RIGHT??? SHE DIDN’T SLEEP WITH ME RIGHT??!?!?!RIGHT?!?!” 

As the thoughts were running a marathon in Sunny minds, a hand reached to him, searching for warmth and comfort from the purple delinquent. The motion of reaching can be felt by him, after processing what had happened last night he can’t really help to blush as he's taking a peek at his new roommate. 

Aubrey was sleeping right next to him, and was reaching towards him with her hands, searching for warms.

“OH… MY… GOD…” His face became red as a tomato, the result of all the blood going to his head out of embarrassment. After the intense talk that happened to them twice, both of them had tried out as they began to hug each other, as a result both of them had been cuddling out while they slept together. 

This isn’t really new to both of them, they have been having countless sleepovers, sometimes just the two of them. What was new for them was cuddling and hugging as they shared warmth with each other, sleeping in the coldest night without anyone but themselves. 

And god, it makes him want to jump down the stairs. 

“Oh god…” said the boy while he was sitting on the side of the bed, still contemplating what he just remembered. Sunny tried to steady his heartbeat, remembering what Mari used to tell him when he got angry. Slowly, the blush that resided on his face disappeared as Sunny’s emotion began to reset into his usual stoic self. 

The raven haired boy took a glance again to the pink delinquent, her hands trying to reach him, but Sunny grabbed her hands and put them on a spare pillow he had.

“It’s not the time, sorry Aubrey” He told her, but only silence was her response.

“Wait, what did I mean it’s not the time? I shouldn’t go back to cuddling her again, what the hell?”  his thought slipped for a moment, denying that last night was the best night he ever has, the warmth from the hug keep his nightma-

“No, no, no, stop! Stop thinking about that again! I'm not THAT close to her!”  

The boy’s face redden again, a teenager romance really are-

“I SAID STOP IT!”

…

…

…

…

…

“God, what’s wrong with me” 

His body felt stiff, the fatigue from taking care of Aubrey hadn't left him after that night. It wasn’t like he didn’t rest that well, rather it's just too much for him to handle all of a sudden.

Speaking of Aubrey, he checks her forehead for a moment, to check her temperature of course, as he touches her skin, he feels warmth, too much warmth for a healthy person to have but not cold enough for it to be from an illness she has.

She just had a light fever.

He can handle this. 

Sunny left his room quietly, trying not to wake up Aubrey and let her rest. If what she said is right (which would still confuse him as he tries to understand whenever he tries to make sense with his own logic) she really needs the rest whatever the change she gets. 

Sunny didn’t forget to bring her jacket with him, it was stained with her own blood and slashed by his own knife. The state of the jacket is unbearable, but it’s not hurt to clean it up, plus he will try to fix this anyway.

Before he put it to the washing machine, he gazed at the part where he had slashed her. 

A clean slash can easily be recognized from the damaged jacket, with dark maroon around it. If there’s a movie about a girl that survives from being killed by a serial killer, this jacket is the one that girl would wear.

A single slash it took to ruin the cloth. 

And another deep one is good enough to nearly kill her. 

Sunny knew how fuck up he was when he started bandaging her wounds, seeing in person the wound he had because it’s felt so unreal

He was blinded by anger.

He hurt the person he trusts.

All of that for the spite of showing up.

And yet this isn’t the first time. 

Anger is what made him a monster, if what he did to Aubrey isn’t enough, the same thing can be applied to the other. Sunny despises how Kel and Hero were so unbothered by her sister's demise, both of them are like brothers to him, yet they never even show up to her grave. He is angry for ignoring Mari's death, Sunny just couldn’t understand why they would abandon her memory like that!. 

But, aren’t they grieving too? 

Hero was Mari's soulmate, to him, she was his princess and he was her prince, a match made in heaven as Kel said. Whenever they met, it felt like a scene out of a romance movie

A Hero.

A knight

A prince

Yet, has the man even shown his weak side? 

His guilt of not being able to save the ones he loves? 

His pain fighting for his own life and the other?

His grief and sorrow for losing someone he truly loves?

Has he? 

And don’t get even started with Basil, a polite and reserved kid with an endless amount of energy and love for his friends. Enjoying every day with his friends like there’s always tomorrow and no guilt of yesterday. 

Sunny always blames him for abandoning the group and making a lot of new friends. It sounds so disgusting how he just moves away and acts like nothing ever happened, it’s like her death meant nothing to him, he left him and the others behind just for the new one? While he was struggling, he decided to stick with the other, how could he?!

And was it true? That he left him and the other behind?. 

Basil is the only one who came to knock at Aubrey's house for four years straight, compared to Sunny that easily gives up after months he just keeps pushing and trying his best. Sunny has already seen how badly he cried at Mari’s funeral, to him, she was a friend, mother and sister he never had, he’d be lying if he said that her death didn’t change him. 

As of the fact Basil left him behind, is he really is? Despite the countless fights they had with, Basil was nowhere worthy to be called the group betrayer, let alone leaving him. Basil is the guy who had a good relationship with the other, not him.

He always blames others for being bad friends. 

Always putting Mari’s name above anyone else, even himself. 

Yet the reality was that he was blinded by rage, fueled by jealousy, and exploded like a firework. 

Anger is his main emotion. 

Anger is what guided him this entire time. 

And anger almost destroyed him. 

“Oh… god…”

Realization hit him like a truck, his hand shaking uncontrollably, he felt sick thinking like this. 

The problem with his life turning into hell wasn’t Aubrey.

Nor, Kel

Nor, Hero

Not even Basil. 

No

It was his fault all along. 

Breaking the group apart. 

Broke his trust. 

Break Mari heart

“It was me…”

“”I’m a monster…”

“no…”

“I’m the devil that makes everyone's life worse. “

“Mari… I’m sorry…”

The strong and lonely delinquent is now crying for the second time, his body feels like it’s gonna collapse at any moment. He feels sick to himself with all wrongdoings he was cause, and the worst part is he never even realize it at all

He wants to throw up.

His heart was beating faster. 

Sunny's mind is breaking apart. 

Tears in the eyes, guilty in the souls. 

But with all of that, he had one last thing he needed to do.

He wanted to change.

He wanted to grow.

He wanted to live. 

Not by himself.

Not alone with his anger.

But with people, he cherishes one. 

And with it, one thing he needs to do

Control his anger. 

Control his emotion. 

Control his mind. 

Pull all of them together again, it’s going to be hard, but he got this. 

He is Sunny, after all.

He will do this again

Be the brother that Mari was once proud of.

Breathing in and out, gathering the strength that once left his body, his body rises again. With clear objection in mind, Sunny now determined to do the right thing after all of this time, no more becoming a play doll for his own emotion. 

Remembering what he needs to do, Sunny grabbed the stained jacket his friend had. Despite being torn, doesn’t mean he had the right to throw it off. What he can do however is wash the bloody jacket off and sew the damaged area off. 

Before he puts it in the washing machine, Sunny tries to scrub some dirt off of it, whatever she has left in the pocket. The only thing he found was a key, probably to Aubrey's house. 

Oh well, Sunny was expected to have something more, at least he can wash the jacket now.

Bright.

Way too bright!

The girl finally woke up, mostly thanks to the bright sun shining right into her face, but that was not the only thing that woke up the sleeping beauty, pain began flaring up as her wounds hadn’t fully healed. Yet the girl still stayed inside the blanket, yawning like a cat trying to find the right spot to slack off. 

Her mind is not in the right space, but Aubrey isn’t a mind-centered person. The bed she was sleeping on is just too good to wake up from, it’s warm, comfy and just had its curse to make people fall asleep. 

Aubrey doesn’t care where she was right now, is it heaven or hell, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that her mind is telling her to rest. 

Although, she does feel something was off. She vaguely remembered that bun-bun was there with her, she was hugging her not too long ago, but he somehow slipped away in her hug. 

It was a bit sad that her pet bunny decided to have a walk, his fur is just so fluffy, Aubrey can’t help but snuggle with the bunny. 

The longing feeling to want to hug something is what she was missing now, not what she needed, but with it her sleep would be perf–

With blurry eyes, Aubrey sees a door had been open from outside. That’s strange, she doesn’t remember having a door in her room, wait hold–

Oh…

Yeah, she remembers now… 

The fight. 

The talk. 

And the sleep. 

“Wake up Aubrey and get up” The intruder, Sunny, spoke. Well… He isn’t exactly an intruder, the room she slept in is Sunny bedroom after all. Despite the memory returning, her face still blanks by the thought running in her brain. 

“You… Alright? Is there something on your mind? Hello?” Sunny tries to call her off, stepping closer to her and snapping his finger in front of her face to get her attention. In her mind, however, Aubrey was still processing everything that had happened. 

…

…

…

Huh? Where was I again?  Aubrey asked herself, completely lost in her own mind trying to figure things out

…

…

…

“Oh, yeah… Sunny is still alive…”

…

…

…

“Wait…”

“Su… Sunny?! You are alive?! HOW?!” The pink hair girl asks the raven hair Boy. 

The boy, a bit worried by the girl's actions, was hesitant to answer her question. Aubrey, have been asking the same things since they both meet for the first time. He knows there's something wrong with her, and Sunny fears that one wrong move will make her insane. 

“Yes, Aubrey” He chose to just to be blunt with her, Sunny doesn’t really have any idea what to do, and it isn't really funny to prank her as a ghost in her state “And no, I have never been dead for long time, any memory that I have been dead is just been in your own mind, and it’s not healthy to keep believing it, Aubrey” 

An awkward silence filled the room as soon as he closed his mouth, Aubrey wasn’t doing well either, her mind was short-circuiting as she stared at the boy’s face

But one thing she has connected is that she isn’t in her room, not even her house.

Sunny in here.

She slept in Sunny’s room.

Sunny is alive. 

She remembers she was hugging bun bun.

Sunny is here

She wasn’t in her bedroom, and that means bun bun isn’t here.

Sunny is alive.

She is sleeping in Sunny bedroom.

Sunny is here.

…

…

…

‘’Sunny is here.”

“Sunny is alive.”

“I hug bun bun.”

“I’m in Sunny bedroom.”

“That’s mean no bun bun.”

“Then the one I hug is…”

Her head slowly moved, facing Sunny’s face. Her expression was a mixture of surprise and embarrassment at the same time, befuddlement perhaps, Her skin slowly blushing as she realizes she has slept with Sunny. 

As she was connecting the dots, her lungs were filling up like a balloon, a balloon that’s about to burst. 

“ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! ”

In the deepest dream from the slumber girl, there’s a room for the owner to visit.

A place to reside, but not to live. 

A place to rest, but not to survive. 

An empty space with no warm. 

Yet with all the warning, a girl keep coming back. 

Running away like a criminal. 

Yet in the end, guilty caught her every time. 

Knife in her stomach, another way to running away yet again. 

The room she's laying down now began to flickering away from her sight, the bright white that once sounding her now began to fade away.

Darkness greet her.

Source of her fear.

Fear of the unknown, the thing she fought every day.

Yet the girls never bothered to lighten her room, it was all dull and emotionless.

The house she lives in doesn’t feel home, the girl was a prisoner in a hell of her own creation. 

Yet she chose to stay.

She chose to root.

She chose to be a parasite. 

There’s no will to move on, living in her own fear. 

Like a bunny with their predators, she decided to hide away. 

But Aubrey isn’t a bunny, she is a human, a living being with intelligence. 

Yet she acted like an animal facing danger, rather than standing and rising, she picked to run away. 

From a mistake, she made. 

From a sin, she committed. 

From a judgment, she needs to face.

And it is time to end it all.

Hell is waiting for her

Chapter Text

“Ouch!” 

“Can you stop moving around?! It’s going to be more painful if you're not keeping your body still!” 

“Sorry, it’s just– OUCH!”

“Hold still…” 

Wrapping a wound is not really an easy task, especially for a person like Sunny. A bubbling hot air that turns every wrong move into a fuse, despite trying to ‘calm down’ he is still angry from what Aubrey just did. He looked at her wounds with guilt, he knew he would beat himself over it for the next few weeks.

He knows that it’s justified to react with surprise from what they did last night, but why did she choose to go on a rampage and make the room so goddamn messy?! Sunny's bedroom looks messier than a garbage dumb hit by a typhoon twice! How the hell did she even do that?!

“No need to be angry, Sunny… Just calm down… She has been through a lot… Aubrey needs a rest, that’s the main priority, you’ve already caused her enough trouble.” He tells himself that, whatever Aubrey is thinking right now, he needs to clear out the misunderstandings.

Her wound is thankfully not as bad as he thought it would be, sure it’s still healing, but it’s not bleeding like yesterday, it’s small but positive in his book. 

“And…done” Sigh of relief he let it out in one breath, at least she can move more freely “you should be able to move your hand without hurting yourself now, how does it feel right now?” 

“It feels…..good” A weak swing Aubrey performed with her left arm, he noticed her muscles look way more malnourished than what normal teenagers have, could be from her isolation, but her tan skin doesn’t suggest that at all. “I feel exhausted, but other than that it’s alright” She added while looking at her bandaged arm.

“You might have a small fever” Sunny reveal to her, “maybe because you jumped into the damn lake” 

“Oh yeah… Sorry”

“No need”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“If you're wondering where your jacket is, I put it in the washing machine” 

“Are you going to wash it off? You don’t have–”

“It’s my fault that it got dirty, it’s alright” 

“O-oh… Okay then”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“You can use my jacket for now, I know it’s just a small fever, but I’ll try to keep you warm”

“I… uh… Appreciate that! But I think the blanket is enough…”

“Well if you want to go outside you should probably wear something, even though it’s summer”

“I’ll… keep that in mind then”

“...”

“...”

“...”

They both awkwardly stare at each other

Just standing there silently.

“...”

“...”

“...”

Now, telepathic communication isn’t a thing and both of them clearly didn’t have it, at least in this world, and everyone dislikes being left in the dark, especially in the middle of something that is so mind-boggling as what is happening to them.

With all of that in mind, how can they haven’t uttered a single word yet?

Simple…

They are just idiots.

“god dammit, I knew I should have chosen to hang myself instead of drowning, why the FUCK is he alive????? It didn’t make sense, I thought I’d be in limbo, not still alive in here with SUNNY of all people, oh my god oh my god oh my god-” Groaning inside her head, Aubrey was shocked by the fact that Sunny, somehow, is still a living being. Sure, he has had some drastic changes in both his personality and appearance, but Sunny is still Sunny, he should be the same, right?

But how though?

How is he still alive?

There’s no way resurrection it’s real, and she is pretty sure Sunny isn’t a zombie now. Maybe she's just having a long dream about Sunny dying? But Aubrey is pretty sure a person that locks himself for four years isn’t remotely close to as healthy as the person she sees now. 

Although Purple is unexpectedly fitting for him, she never expected him out of all people to shade his hair. It’s not like she hates how his hair looks now, it’s just Sunny never been a person that has his hair or even his choice of fashion to be this vibrant, so it was unexpected to see him be like this.

And looking at him now, the change is easily spotted but somehow the remnant of it is still there. Sure, Sunny still stuck with his usual bland black or white, but somehow it turned out to be an eye-catching style rather than a sense of fashion that screams that he is an introvert. The jacket that he wears now is more like a vest by how the shoulder part has been shredded short, it’s looking like someone knew.

It’s reminded her when she nailed bat honestly 

“Wait, no. I need to focus on other things now” Just like boiling water, any thought about his sense of fashion evaporated in her mind. Aubrey still remembered how he died, she was dumb back then for thinking Sunny never even had a burden in his mind, she left him rotting till he gave up.

But now, somehow, someway, he is alive and well. She didn’t know how or why, but one thing she knows is that this might be the only chance to save him. Aubrey won’t make the same mistake that she made before, ever, again.

But now… How is she going to help him?

If Aubrey was asked what she would do if he ever met Sunny again, the first thing she would do is to hug him tightly, but considering she already did it last night, it would be a lot more awkward to do it again.

And the question still remains, how would Aubrey help him? Sunny has never been a talkative person, he was always a listener but never a talker.

Maybe… talking to him will help him out?

She remembers the swings that they always go to in the afternoon, it was the time when she would talk about her life and Sunny would listen every second about it. Stuff about how his parents keep fighting and how her mother treats her, it’s all she talks about with him, a painful side of her life, and it works for her, every time she talks feels like her shoulder becomes lighter every talk, and the swing becomes a sacred place for both of them. 

Will it work for Sunny, though?

She didn’t know, but it was worth trying. 

And how would she make him talk?

For a solid minute she thinks for something to start, should she start small talk first? Or just straight up ask him?. Back then, Sunny would first ask what happened when she was crying on the swing, so maybe she needs to ask him first if something is wrong?

Could a little push even work for him? Sunny never even talked about his feelings to her, so asking him all of a sudden might make him uncomfortable.

“I need to be his listener now, come on Aubrey, you got this. Ask him if he is alright and listen to everything, you need to be on his side now”

“Hey uh… Sunny, can I ask you something?” Aubrey asked him, conscious of her weak attempt to start the conversation.

“Uh… Yeah, what’s up?” He replied, somewhat surprised, it is not like Aubrey never asked anything, but he just didn’t expect to be the one getting asked.

“Sunny… are you alright?” She asked, the question left him both confused and somewhat surprised.

Out of all things she could’ve asked, Aubrey asked if he’s okay? An odd question, even after everything. But honestly, Sunny should have known she would ask this in the first place, even after four years. 

Memories resurface once again and nostalgia hit him like a truck. He misses the simpler times when everyone was still here, and he would be lying if he said he doesn’t want to remember the swings. It was probably the moment he missed the most, simply talking with her while enjoying the rest of the afternoon he had.

Well, Sunny is the one that will do the talking, Aubrey only listened to his rant. He still remembered that she was the one pressuring him to talk, somehow reading his face like an open book.

“I’m alright, don’t worry about it” he replied, trying to reassure her. His mind began to wonder, the various strings of events that lead them to this moment, meeting 4 years later like it was yesterday

A bright idea appeared in Sunny mind, for 4 years since Mari had died Aubrey has been locking herself up in her house. While he is mad at her, he can’t really blame her either. Mari is like the sister she never had, hell, Sunny can comfortably say that Mari is the closest thing to a female figure for Aubrey, her pain must have been the same, if not close to his. 

Keeping all those emotions in her heart must have been really, really hard. And considering how rare her mother appearing in faraway is, it is easy to say that Aubrey has been alone for most of the time she locked herself in. Sunny wouldn’t be surprised if she never even spoke to her mother for years. 

Aubrey has never been a person to talk about her problems, at least as far as Sunny knew, but she’s the one who made him talk about his feelings. He was hesitant at first, but it made him feel better. With that past history in mind, he knew that letting your emotions flow can make you feel better.

Maybe letting Aubrey talk about her problem doesn’t sound half bad.

Heck, it might be a great plan.

But… how is he going to do it?

A little talk might help, but what is he going to do for her to trust him letting her emotion out. It’s been years since she locked herself, he didn’t even try to get her out half of the year she locked herself, how can he be sure that she wants to even talk about her problems with him?

“What should I do now? I don’t want to hurt her again, should I just be honest and tell her to let it all out? But what if she doesn’t want it? Could a little push help her to tell it? Does she even want to talk about her emotions with me?” Uncertainty washed over Sunny, despite crying with each other last night, he is still unsure if Aubrey is even comfortable talking about her emotions.

An awkward silence settled, again. Somehow their social skills have dropped to zero, despite being quite a social person. 

Teenage time really does something weird to people. 

“E-eh but Sunny it’s okay, you know…” Aubrey, trying to break the awkwardness, again. “I’m open to talk about stuff, and it’s been a while since we talked” 

“W-well everything has been fine Aubrey” Sunny replied shortly, “But how about you? I’m open for you to talk right now” and instead returned the offer to her. 

The offer left Aubrey taken aback for a moment. What looked like a small offer just filled her heart with a wave of guilt. It reminded her of all the kindness Sunny has showed her since they were young, kindness that she repaid by abandoning him when he needed her most

It reminded her how awful she’s been

She can’t take this, she doesn’t deserve it. 

“I- I’m fine” with an awkward smile she tried to change the topic with lifting her left arm that has been covered up by multiple bandage “well other than this, but you have been a good doctor for it” She then moved it up and down like a wing while covering her emotion from him

The hot headed boy watched as the cotton candy girl moved her arm. Sunny may not be a great friend for Aubrey, but he isn’t an idiot. The fact that he hasn’t seen Aubrey for the past four years doesn’t mean he doesn’t notice how odd Aubrey is, and not something like ‘her face looks weird’ but down to everything about her from her mannerisms to her bright pink hair. 

And the sudden switch up from her wasn’t making it good either, he wanted to push it further but dammit the face she made before smiling is clearly something worse. Sunny has to try a more direct approach to reconnecting with his confused, estranged friend. Comforting people was never his thing, though, he would usually be the one getting comforted. 

‘What should I do now? I don’t want to hurt her more than I already did, but acting like it’s nothing is also a bad idea’ He whispered in his own head, uncertain of how to help her out. 

It pains him to see Aubrey hurt like this, and to make it worse, Sunny doesn’t know what to do. He remembered she said that he should have been dead to make him confused and worried, how can she think he was dead? Has it been like this for the past four years of her isolation in her home? It both made him feel sick and guilty. 

“She’s been worrying about me for that long?” he thought to himself

The fact that he doesn’t even try to reach out to her before, just sickening. 

He was one, awful friend. 

“God, I’m sorry Mari” 

The atmosphere suddenly changed drastically, the usual awkward feeling now washes over and they are left with guilt, which immediately starts consuming them. They both aren't sure how to help each other let alone help themselves, scared to deepen the wound that they don’t know if they can heal, yet they both refuse to move on, the scars of their past eating at them until it’s too late to try . 

But how will they be a doctor if they themselves are the ones who are dying? 

“It has been four years, hasn't it?” The delinquent boy finally uttered to the source of his guilt, the person he wronged, with downcast face present, “Not even once have we met, sat down and talked”

“Yeah” The girl replied, an awkward smile vanishing as fast as it appeared, “There's been so much going on for both of us, hasn’t there?” 

The boy can only reply with silence, the usually talkative boy is now silent. A quite rare sight for both of them to not show many emotions, yet it is still there on being masked with their body.

“Did you miss Mari, Aubrey?” Sunny asks once again, they both know they need to talk about her death. She was the most important person both of them could have, her leaving early with such a tragedy was a massive hit for both of them. 

It’s a stupid question, really. She locked herself for four year for fuck’s sake, of course Mari is important to he, but he just can’t help to ask it. He doesn’t even know why, maybe seeing her act weirdly has been bothering him for now, from the fact that she acted far more weird than the last time both of them interacted to the fact that apparently she thought he had been dead for a while. 

He has never seen Aubrey cry, shocked, sad, or basically anything that her face is now. He’s not saying that she never had emotions before, but right now she’s acting in a way he never thought she’d act before, it’s almost unnatural. 

And the fact that he doesn’t know what emotion she has been hiding for the entire time they interact just makes it worse. Sunny feels like a selfish person now, remembering how often he talked about his emotions to her, yet he never even asked how she felt or even tried to help her more.

It made him realize more how bad he has been with his friends. 

Heck, now he felt guilty remembering how he ignored his friends now, Kel, Basil, and how Hero is going now. 

“A lot, I still remember that day” with a heavy breath she answered him. Aubrey wonders if she can turn back time way back, she somehow can talk with Sunny again despite facing the same fate with his sister. She both doesn't know and doesn’t care how it happened, was it her jumping back to the past or something more magical, but maybe, just maybe, she can talk with Mari again.

It reminded her, how come she is even alive anymore? The more she realizes, the more strange her condition is right now. Especially when it comes to Sunny, she is glad that he is alive now, but she has too many questions to have any sort of peace right now?

Or was she the one who was in limbo now? It would make far more sense given the circumstance, but even then, this Sunny acts more… weird?

He seems more talkative and even swore once or twice, hell he even dyed a part of his hair purple!….it’s almost like he’s more similar to her. If she is in limbo, maybe she’s just imagining a Sunny who’s more similar to her while stuck in the endless expanse of her own mind.

Aubrey then took a look at her wounds, the pain that she felt was too real, and she knows that Sunny is dead, then how come there is another Sunny who’s eerily similar to her?

What is happening? 

Was this the same Sunny that she failed to save? 

But then again, how and why are they both still around here?

Was it limbo? Heaven? Hell? Or just the inside of her broken mind?

Maybe… someone saved her and she was in a coma now? 

It does make more sense that way, maybe someone like Hero, Kel or Kim saved her in the last minute, they’re both the only ones who know that place or maybe still care for her enough, despite everything. 

But even then, how come Sunny feels so different now?

None of it made any sense, there must be another explanation…….,

And every reason she can think of, none of it answered how Sunny looks or acts now. Aubrey is glad that he is alive and well now despite the change, but still, how come he even had the idea of honoring Mari’s death by dyeing his hair purple? And it has to be for that he dyed his hair because she is sure he was never the type to do something like this. 

She doesn’t understand a single thing. 

Her confusion and realization also reflect onto her face, because now Sunny began to worry about Aubrey, while falling into another silence and then cutting interaction short is a thing now, her face begins to reflect what she’s thinking “What’s wrong with this world? Things have changed, and I don’t know why” she thought as her face began to look more and more distressed.

“Are you alright? Aubrey?” He asked. 

Aubrey’s attention now shifted onto Sunny directly, she wanted to tell him that it’s alright, but it’s just too much. Her head feels like it’s going through a nuclear melt down, every tiny tired attempt to just think about logic she comes across is going to make her head explode. 

“Aubrey? Hello? Are you there” Sunny asked her again, despite both of their eyes being linked together, face to face, the pink-haired girl still has not answered his question. 

But looking from Aubrey’s perspective, can you really blame her? She really didn’t know what to do with the oddness she is facing now, on one hand she is glad that Sunny is still alive. But on the other hand, everything just doesn’t make any sense. How is she still alive? What really happened with Sunny? 

“AUBREY!” Sadly, Sunny doesn’t have the power to read her mind. Sunny’s worries become increasingly high as he shook her shoulder, Aubrey finally snapped from her deep thinking as it came face to face with her. 

A second later, sharp pain hit her in her left shoulder. Sunny has accidentally touched her wound with too much force while trying to take her back into reality. Realizing his mistake, Sunny took his hands off her shoulder with a guilty face. 

“I-I’m sorry Aubrey, I-I’m trying to help and you just-”

“No, It’s fine, don’t worry” Sunny’s words are cut short with Aubrey reassuring him, with aching pain she continues “Look, It’s okay Sunny, I’m fine. You already help-”

“NO!” But alas, Sunny doesn’t buy any of her words anymore, the look on his face is filled with worry, yet pain is also present around it. He doesn’t want to hear her lies again, he knows there’s something wrong with her, and she is trying to not let him help. 

“Sunny, no I-” 

“Aubrey…” he found it hard to find the words before eventually saying “I know I’ve been a bad friend for the longest time, I never meant to hurt you, I-” his breath becoming heavy, “I’m sorry for attacking you back at the lake….and I’m sorry for keeping you out of my life for all this time, especially after all the time you spent listening to my problems” he continued. 

“I never checked in or cared about you locking yourself. Hell, I was even angry that you did that. I’m an idiot that never even realized other people struggle, I’m a selfish man that only care about myself” heart racing like a car, his emotion is on all-time high as he remembered his sins. 

Those words now stuck in her mind, she wanted to tell him that it was okay. But, something that doesn’t add up with his words. Sunny words feel strange in one or two part, yet she doesn’t know what. The gears in her mind began rotating as she processed the words spilling out of Sunny’s mouth. 

“You have been the one to listen to me in the swing, yet the first thing I did when I met you is trying to kill you.” added Sunny, his hands are now shaking as he reminisced the same hand covered with her friend's blood “I’m too idiot to not see your problem, and just pulling myself in center again”

The more he spoke, the more it didn't add up into her logic, and that’s when a new possibility crept into her mind. Sunny said that she has been the one that listened to her, but in reality she was never the one who became the listener, he was. 

Sunny was the one that made her talk about her problems, he is the one who made her feel better by just being there for her, yet he seemed to not remember any of that, even said that she is the one who helped him. 

Why did he say that? 

“Sunny, what do you mean?” She asked, “You are the one who listened to my problem on the swings, remember?”. Trying to correct his memory. 

Sunny then remembered the playground they used to play in, the swings that he used to play around with, as Aubrey listened to him quietly, just going on about his hardships.

Sunny was confused with her statement, “What do you mean? You are the one who listened to my problems, what are you talking about?” dismissed him.  

“Wha- Sunny, You are the one who asked me what happened when I cried on the swings. You helped me by listening to me all the time after that day!” She added. 

“Aubrey, that’s not what happened!” 

“Yes, it is”

“No, is not” 

“Yes, it is”

“No, is not”

“YES! IT IS!” She doesn’t know why Sunny keeps switching things around, he’s supposed to be the one that remembered everything among the group so why he is forgetting the stuff they used to do every day when they were kids, it makes no sense.

“Aubrey” Sunny tried to try to knock her sense back to her, or at least according to his memory anyway “I know it’s been four years, but even before you locked yourself but-” 

“I DIDN’T LOCK MYSELF AFTER MARI DIED!” She screamed in his ears, “You are the one who did that, Sunny, I don’t know why you are forgetting that?” 

“ME??” He screamed back at her, “Aubrey you’re not making any sense, you should have at least remembered Basil knocking your door every day when you were still there! Stop mixing things around!” 

“I’m not, but it was YOU!”  She is already fed up with Sunny’s bullshit, he is the one who was mixing everything around! And what did he mean, Basil knocking her door. Why would Basil even knock on her door anyway? Both of them are--

Wait a minute.

“Basil, knocked on my door?” Aubrey asked, still confused. Her tone is now changed, still the same yet far softer with a hint of curiosity. 

“Yes he did” he replied “he had been knocking on your door ever since you didn’t come to school, he has been worried about you and is even still knocking to this day, Aubrey” Sunny explain to her, he wasn’t really surprised of Aubrey not realizing it, considering she even gets her memory wrong, somehow. 

But for Aubrey, that sounds really familiar. She is pretty sure that Basil wouldn’t even dare or have the guts to knock on her house, in fact, she is pretty sure the only ones who know where she lived are Sunny and Mari. Basil wouldn’t even dare to be near her house, plus it's not something he would do. 

But it was something Kel would do. 

That guy has been knocking on Sunny’s house for four years straight, and if Sunny hasn’t died and knows where Aubrey lived when they are still kids, Aubrey sure he still does it to Sunny and even to her, she bet that he did that to Basil too. 

Yet, according to Sunny, it was Basil. 

Basil knocks on her door. 

Kel knocks on Sunny’s door. 

Wait a second… 

“Sunny, do you remember who stained my carpet? When we were still together” She asked Sunny, her eyes sharp but sweat pouring over her face. 

He was caught of guard by her question, it was a strange thing to ask, especially out of sudden 

“Well, it was Basil, right?” But it would be a lie if he forgets who did it “He moved too much and spiledl his horrendous tea on your carpet, it’s hard to not forget his action” 

“Especially if we're talking about him” he whispered with his hearth, but Aubrey can read it by how he shifted his face to annoyance. She is familiar with it, it’s a face when she has to deal with Kel. 

Which supported her theory more… 

“Be honest in three words, describe what do you think about Basil” she asked Sunny again, he is not sure why their conversation shifted into talking about Basil out of sudden, but if he can be honest about him, what things that hold him back anymore. 

“Well, if you asked about it. He is an annoying little shit” That last three words are uttered together and synced so perfect he might think his voice is echoed. But what surprised him is that Aubrey predicted what he thought about Basil, does she share the same anger with him or something?. 

“What, Aubrey, how did you-”

“NOO!!!!” Yet he just met with a scream from her all of a sudden. Both hands holding her own hair as if she wanted to pull it out in one go, her expression changed as both of her eyes opened up, almost revealing her entire eyeball, her teeth girth with each other, and he pretty sure can see her vein in her head. 

“THERE’S NO WAY IT IS ACTUALLY LIKE THIS, IT CAN’T BE HAPPENING, HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?!?!” She screams once again, Sunny doesn’t understand what actually happened to her. He wanted to ask her, but Aubrey's face halted for a second, she then looked at him directly and asked him something “lend me your jacket for a second, I need to go, now!” while holding both of his shoulders tightly, she basically girth it like he would disappear for a second. 

“A-Aubrey, calm down, at leas-” 

“WHERE IS IT??? I can’t go out with one dirty shirt, Sunny!” She cut his words short and asked him again. Sunny then points it out, black sweeter laying on his desk and Aubrey puts it on in no time. 

After putting on Sunny's old sweater and keeping herself warm, she dashed through the door and down to the stairs. Cold air hitting her face, she almost stepped outside if not Sunny, stopping her by catching her hand right on time before she could slip out.

“Look Aubrey, right now I have no idea what you’re thinking right now. So, please, can you just tell me what’s happening?” With struggle maintaining his breath and confusion, Sunny asked her. She was really stressed out suddenly and immediately ran outside without telling him where she was going or even why she was even doing this. 

Aubrey was not sure what to do for a moment, the problem is that she is probably gonna look and doesn’t even take it seriously. She herself doesn’t even know if what she thought is actually real, or she just has been in deep hallucination. 

“Please don’t call me insane for this” She stated, putting both of her hands on his cheeks around his nose. Aubrey, not sure how to explain it to Sunny, considering she doesn’t even know how he would react or is he even going to take it despite having little evidence. But despite that, she decided to tell him right away, hopefully it would make things easier. 

She holds her breath, “So, you know how in Pet Rock, you can play with other people by bringing your pet from your device to their device?” She didn’t even make sense to herself, but she continued, “I think I came from another world. Somehow you’re not the same Sunny from my world and I’m not the same Aubrey from your world.”

“..........The rock paper scissors game?” he asked, not knowing what the fuck she’s on about. “Yeah, we played it bef- hold on, what the fuck did you say after that?” 

“I came from a different world, basically” she insisted, which perhaps made her seem crazier than before.

His brain having a short circuit once he heard those words, she's talking about pet rock and then alternate universes? What? Has his own sanity left him? What pet rock has to do with it ?

“Aubrey… What the fuck…” he is in lost of words “Yesterday, you said I should have been dead, and now you said that you travel between universes???” 

“Look, I know it doesn’t make any sense, but-” 

“Aubrey, no!” He cuts her words short, rightfully so, “You have been locking yourself for four years, the first thing you need to do is seek a therapist, not try to prove a conspiracy theory!!” If he needed to deal with this for more than one hour, maybe Basil tea doesn’t sound bad, she definitely needed some light caffeine 

“I know!!!” She struggled to even put up another reason, “that’s why I need to go to my house! If there’s another Aubrey in there, that means I’m right!” She broke his eyes with Sunny and began to sprint. Truthfully, she doesn’t know if her theory is right or not. But she needed to make sure what the fuck actually happening. 

“Aubrey, WAIT!” he tried to follow her path to the familiar road. A few drops of sweat produce in the one or two turns she takes, Sunny sees Aubrey banging her own door. Beside her, he can spot a confused Basil standing there, unsure what to do. 

“SUNNY?! Is that you?” The extrovert face lit up as he spotted his old friends, “Who is she, Sunny? Do you know her?” He asked Sunny, Basil somewhat feels like he should know her from somewhere, yet he can’t decide who she is. 

“It’s Aubrey, I met her yesterday” He answered without looking at him, ignoring a surprise look and a barrage of questions Basil put at him. Sunny considers the words Aubrey said to him before, even if she was right then, what would the actual Aubrey look like now? He was scared that her theory might be true, Sunny doesn’t know how the actual Aubrey would react to him.

He remembered the key that he found on Aubrey’s jacket, he pulled it out from his pocket and held it tight. Sunny eyes switched from the key to the door in front of him, he has been a bad friend for four years and it must end now. 

“Hang on, let me do it” He put the key and turned it open, a cold wind hit him as he opened the door wide. His eyes landed on a horrific scene right away as he spotted a familiar face. 

Pale skin and a pair of eyes with no will to live, black hair and the same face he knew before. The Hikikomori laying on the cold floor with a red stain around her, a knife presented in her stomach with her hand holding it tight, but not for too long. 

The first person Aubrey see coming out from the door is a delinquent with familiar face, and the last thing before she left with guilty in her hearth