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"It looks like you boys could use a little heart to heart!" The villain chirps, and the world goes black.
When Katsuki wakes up, it's to his own face hovering worriedly over him, which is-
"Kacchan?"
Which is what the fuck, that's what.
"Deku," he growls, or tries to. It comes out as more of a squeak, which would be embarrassing if it were actually his voice, but it's not, so instead it's just fucking. Annoying.
Bloody hell, no wonder all those people were screaming. Katsuki hates this already.
"Kacchan?" Katsuki hears his voice say again, tentatively.
"Who the fuck else?" Izuku's voice has never sounded so flat, and Katsuki doesn't like that either. Makes him sound like a fucking robot.
"How the hell are we going to switch back?"
The villain's long fucking gone, obviously, so it's not like they could politely convince them to undo whatever they'd done.
Maybe Katsuki should have read that stupid report, even if it was ten pages long. He'd decided that the nerd had it covered, the muttering had had a familiar cadence and maybe this is a sign that he should stop tuning Deku out in the briefing room.
Speaking of tuning him out...
Katsuki zeroes back in just as Izuku starts opening and shutting Katsuki's mouth like a fucking fish.
"Spit it out." Katsuki's voice, fuck it, does not growl.
"Um, well..." The nerd stops, and gives himself a little nod. "Right! So the report said that their quirk is called Heart to heart-"
"Stupid-ass name."
"-And that it swaps the bodies of two people at a time and that it's verbally activated (which is probably why it took so long for them to try and use it, they don't seem used to running?) and the people being swapped have to be within five metres of each other and be, um, arguing for whatever reason and-"
"And how the fuck do we undo it?"
“Um…”
The nerd goes all shifty again. His eyes dart about nervously and if it wasn't for the risk of breaking his own nose then Katsuki would hit him.
Actually, can he use One for All? It's like, locked or some shit isn't it? Izuku had said something about ghosts that one time Katsuki found him buzzing in the kitchen. At fucking three am.
Fuck his life. And fuck the nerd, who still won't spit it out already-
"Actually," the nerd says abruptly, standing up and leaning back.
Katsuki scrambles to his own feet and is profoundly irritated to have to look up to meet the nerd's eyes.
"Actually," he repeats in a warning tone.
"Actually!" Izuku says, way too brightly, "I don't want to have this conversation!"
And then he blasts a hole in the wall with the ease of someone who's been creeping on Katsuki using his quirk for their entire lives.
The way he promptly flees through the hole, however, is nothing like Katsuki. Slippery little-
"Get back here!" Katsuki screeches.
Fuck, Izuku's voice goes high. That sounded awful. Nails on a chalkboard ass motherfucker, when Katsuki gets his hands on him-
Which will be easier said than done, he realises, when he attempts to activate his quirk and nothing happens.
"Are you fucking shitting me." He glares at Izuku's hands.
It doesn't even make him feel better, and also makes his face feel weird. Izuku can cut a bitch with the best of them, if you hit the right buttons, but his face does not naturally lend itself to the many nuances of fury that Katsuki's does.
He probably looks a hamster. An angry one, but still a hamster. Baby-fat ass cheeks. Katsuki can't even fucking pinch them, because he's the fucker they're currently attached to.
Katsuki needs to get out of here.
He punches a wall experimentally. He makes Izuku's knuckles hurt, but still no dice on One for All. The fuck. How does he activate this thing? Izuku never does anything special, he just starts sparking out like Dunce-face and then breaks Katsuki's nose.
Katsuki will break Izuku's nose as soon as it's not his face it's poking out of. Fucking hell.
Well, super-strength isn't One for All's only trick. There's also that Blackwhip crap Katsuki's always training against, along with a bunch of other rubbish. Katsuki can probably activate Blackwhip.
He's just got to get angry, right? That's how Izuku got it, as weird as that had looked, and Katsuki is great at being angry. The world is full of things that piss him off, like fucking nerd's who run off with his body using his quirk and-
Pink bananas!, screams a voice inside Katsuki's head.
-and leaving Katsuki fucking stranded because he's a stupid fucking-
Stop that!
"Make me," he snarls on reflex. Some see-through fucker with a bald head shows up in front of him, and the reflexive explosion doesn't hit him because Katsuki doesn't have a damn quirk at the moment, that fucking-
Seriously, the bald fucker frowns. Stop that!