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I'm fine, I'm okay, Hisoka mentally chanted as he made his way toward the front door. Nonchalance is key. There was a chance he could slip by unnoticed - a slim chance, but it was a gamble Hisoka was willing to take for the sake of freedom. He just needed to convey wellness and confidence with every cell of his body and card up his sleeve.
That meant avoiding eye contact with Illumi, who stood in between him and the exit. Perhaps he'd be able to safely sneak past his scrutiny if he kept his mouth shut and communicated only with body language... like a peace sign, jingle of the house keys, and a short wave, serving as an I'm fine now, I'll be back soon.
It wasn't convincing enough. A hand reached out from behind him, restraining Hisoka by the collar before his own hand made contact with the doorknob. "You'll be staying home today."
It had been approximately 24 hours since Hisoka had first started displaying symptoms of the virus, which had ramped up from a mild fever (first ignored) to a pounding headache (harder to forget) to the dry coughs currently plaguing him (impossibly distracting). Last night, he'd had trouble falling asleep from all the irritation in his throat. Apparently Illumi found this unacceptable behavior for someone claiming to be in good health.
Hisoka tried to stifle a cough. "I'm- fine-" he let out. These two words were already too much, it seemed, as he immediately fell into a hacking fit. Illumi steered Hisoka toward their living room couch, pushing him down with just enough force to cause slight ripples in the leather as butt met fabric.
Not one to lose momentum, he promptly buried Hisoka and several of his beloved plush toys under a weighted blanket. "Stay seated." It was an order.
This illness had come at a most inopportune time. Hisoka did have plans today. Plans to not be lying around in bed. Sure, picking up new hair dye and a wardrobe update for the change in season wasn't exactly a high priority for most people... but Hisoka was a full-time, card-carrying bedrest anti.
Sitting around at home was dreadfully lacking in stimulation. What was there for him to do? Read one of Illumi's boring nonfiction books? Watch terribly scripted reality television? Knit a tapestry protesting illness in today's modern society? Despite their proximity to several busy intersections, the high-rise apartment was too far from the ground to see any details that would make people-watching entertaining. How did Illumi manage to spend so much time inside without complaint?
The blanket over Hisoka's head made visibility impossible, but he could hear shuffling by the kitchen. "Where- going?" he squeaked out. His every painstakingly spoken word started to sound pitched up, forming questions even before the sentence was complete.
"Please stop speaking. It is physically painful to hear your voice like that," the other man droned over the sounds of cupboard movement.
"Am fine," sniffed Hisoka, though it did admittedly hurt to speak. The pocket of warmth trapped between the couch and the blanket was a little too much to handle. When trying to raise his arms, he found he was trapped. He couldn't remember when they'd bought a weighted blanket this heavy. "What doing?" This again sent him into a chorus of coughs, each sounding more desperate than the last.
"Shut up." A snap, the sound of running water, and another snap. "If it will help, I can narrate my actions for the rest of the day to sate your curiosity. But only if you remain silent." Hisoka's eyes turned into calculated slits. He pondered the proposal for a few minutes before indicating his acceptance with a quick nod.
Apparently the blanket movement was visible to Illumi, so he proceeded to dictate. "I've filled the kettle so I can make you my favorite tea. It's an earl grey with notes of lavender and marigold." Ah, that does sound pleasant. Illumi's words were very blunt, but he could be such a sweetheart sometimes.
Hisoka's ears perked up at the click-click-click of the stove igniter. "The kettle is on the stove now. It will remain there until it reaches 195F. Then the tea brewing will begin. Since I'll be using that mug you like, the ridiculously small one with stars on it—I hope you know it's meant for espresso, not for brewing tea or pourover—you'll probably need several servings of it." Hisoka did not care what the mug was meant for. His hand and the mug were a fated pair, and Illumi knew this. He eased back into the couch, relishing in the comfort of Illumi's voice.
"Then I will steep your tea for three minutes. I'll be using less than a teaspoon of the tea leaves so you don't end up over-caffeinated and you'll be able to fall asleep." Funny he should mention that, as Illumi's words began to lull Hisoka to sleep.
Illumi continued to chatter away, now in full podcast mode. "No sugar this time. I know you like to take your drinks with sugar and creamer, but additions like that may aggravate your already fatigued body. Honey is better for the sick as it will be kinder on your throat."
Why not all the terms of endearment? I'm sick, after all, Hisoka mused in his delirium.
"While you slowly sip your tea, I'll start preparing lunch. You may have trouble swallowing solid foods at the moment, so we'll stick to broth and easy soup until you sound a little better. I'm not sure if you'll have enough of a sense of smell or taste to enjoy eating, but foods like corn potage or minestrone should be okay." Hisoka slipped off into dreamland about halfway through Illumi's rambling.
If he'd been awake, he would have chuckled (and then coughed) at Illumi's stream of consciousness about lunch: "I can use the immersion blender to keep the soup's consistency easy to eat. I don't want you to end up choking on udon. You deserve a more dignified death." He would have heard Illumi's padded footsteps approach the couch. "I'm walking towards you. Have you fallen asleep before getting to try the tea? That's a shame, now I'll have to finish this first batch."
And he would have leaned into the gentle touch on his head accompanying Illumi's next words: "I am glad you have chosen to rest. I did not want to render you unconscious to force you back to bed."
