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He could smell the faint memory of Felix’s cologne, despite him having already showered and changed his clothes. It had sunken deep into his skin; into his being as a part of himself just as much as the freckles that dusted his cheeks and nose. It was a comfort by now; the scent helping Changbin feel relaxed and almost sentimental beneath his weight. They’d been laying together for a couple hours now; Changbin on his back with Felix’s head resting atop his chest and his body strewn halfway across him, one leg intertwined between his two with Bin’s arm cradled around the other’s back to help keep him close. A familiar position; comfortable, warm, casual- though truthfully a little romantic…
It wasn’t quite dark in the room- in Changbin’s bedroom- but it was close. The curtains were drawn and the overhead light was off, but the bedside lamp provided a soft atmosphere with its warm, low light. The TV was on as well and they’d been watching it for these hours they’d been together, but Changbin was starting to be lulled into sleep from their position and from the way Felix’s slim hand had been slowly and rhythmically trailing the length of his bicep; up and down, then up over his shoulder and across his collarbone to his chest. He wasn’t massaging him per say; not now. These touches were gentle and affectionate and Changbin couldn’t deny that he enjoyed when Felix was like this.
“So soft.”
“Hm?” Changbin hadn’t realized he’d closed his eyes.
Felix’s fingers dipped beneath the collar of Changbin’s shirt casually and he could hear the smile in his voice. “Your skin is so soft.” The fingers dragged across his collarbone again, pressing down until his palm lay flush against it. His hand then continued to feel the skin as it warmly rubbed along his shoulder, then back towards his chest again, tracing the outline of his physique.
“Is it?” Changbin asked lazily, shifting just slightly beneath him so that he could stretch out his legs with a sigh. Felix tilted his head back just a bit so he could look up at him, the smile widening on his face. He didn’t seem quite as tired as Changbin did and his eyes almost glimmered in the low light. He breathed a soft laugh at his expression and hugged him a bit closer with the arm around him, shifting his body just slightly once again to make himself more comfortable.
“You’re cute.”
Felix gently gripped his shoulder in response to the compliment and turned his gaze back to the TV, the smile still on his face. Changbin looked back to it as well and hazily tried to keep focus on whatever was happening on screen. Between the sleep that threatened him and the younger man’s hand exploring him, it was a little hard to pay attention in any serious sort of way. Felix’s hand caressed down his chest again, beneath his shirt, and then slowly back up. His fingers traveled up further until they trailed up the side of his neck, almost teasing as they came back down and feathered across his throat, then pressed in a bit more firmly and slid along his collarbone again. He repeated this motion once, twice, and then on the third time he traveled up just a bit further to trace along the corner of his jaw as if he was admiring the natural lines and shapes of his features. It was a pleasant feeling and Changbin had to admit he hoped it wouldn’t stop any time soon. He tilted his head to the side just slightly so it could rest atop Felix’s, closing his eyes while he indulged in the scent of his hair and the touches on his skin. All of it combined was almost intoxicating… Felix’s hands knew exactly where to touch and exactly how much pressure to apply.
“That feels nice…” He admitted lazily. Felix responded instantly with a low, soft hum and affectionately traced the shape of his jawline and then brushed his thumb over his cheek, back towards his ear while his fingertips stroked through the hair at the nape of his neck. The motion tickled him pleasantly and Bin could feel goosebumps raising across his skin. Felix was treating him well tonight… more so than usual. His hands felt more intimate; beyond absentminded touches or muscle massages. He liked how it made him feel… sort of desired. It felt personal.
Changbin moved his arm from around Felix’s midsection so that he could bury his fingers comfortably in his blonde hair. His other arm, which previously lay useless at his side, also shifted and he rested that hand warmly against Felix’s waist, near to where his other hand had been before. He could feel the other man cuddle in closer as a result and he couldn’t help but smile slightly into his hair. The fingers at his neck and jaw continued to seduce him into sleep, but at the same time, the coyness of them sort of kept him awake. Touching was nothing new and Felix often massaged him, but these touches almost felt as though he was trying to make him feel good while pretending he wasn’t. He stroked his skin intimately, the way a lover might. Changbin kept his eyes closed as the thumb slowly and flirtatiously trailed back and forth over his cheek again, but he was sure to occasionally move his own hand either against the other’s waist or in his hair, just a little, to ensure that he was still awake.
Bit by bit, Felix’s thumb moved closer and closer until it finally ghosted over Changbin’s lips. The touch was ever so soft but it was deliberate, and when Changbin finally opened his eyes again he was met with the sight of Felix gazing up at him from his chest. Delicate… is how he would describe the beauty of his expression in the warm low light and as their eyes met, his heart fluttered. Felix watched him and he did the same, peaceful in their silence for a short moment while the sound of the TV carried on quietly in the background.
“Hyung…” Felix began gently, lifting his head from Bin’s chest and then adjusting his body to prop himself up a bit so he could properly look down at him. “Um…”
Changbin blinked away a bit of the sleep that continued to threaten him and paid attention, his hand falling from Felix’s hair to rest against his back. There was a small bit of apprehension in the younger’s voice but he otherwise looked just as peaceful and collected as he had the entire night. A couple seconds went by in silence, before…
“Can I kiss you?”
Changbin’s breath caught in his throat and his heart fluttered again, though much stronger this time and it cut through to his stomach. He hadn’t been expecting that at all. On immediate instinct he wanted to say no, but… did he actually want to say no, or did he just feel like he should say no? A warmth started to creep over him and even in the low light, he was sure that Felix would be able to see his ears turning red. He didn’t know how to respond. Should he just laugh and make a joke? Should he brush it off? Should he… accept? His eyes searched Felix’s expression and he glanced down briefly at his lips, then back up to meet his gaze again. Did he even have the strength to deny him?
“Ah… Yeah, you can.”
A genuine, relieved smile broke across the younger’s face at his permission and Changbin’s heart soared. No, as always, he could not deny him. He was too cute, too handsome, and too sincere for him to be able to resist that temptation. Changbin inhaled slowly and deeply through his nose as Felix leaned in close, but just as he thought they’d make contact, Felix stopped.
“You’re sure?”
The question made Changbin laugh softly for some reason; perhaps from his nerves of the circumstance alone. His heart was racing over how he could feel his warm breath against him; how unexpectedly excited he was for this turn of events and how charming Felix was in this moment. He wasn’t sure what this would mean for the future or if going through with this might change things between them, but…
“I’m sure.”
They looked at each other for a few short seconds longer, as if Felix was giving him one last opportunity to back out, before the distance was finally closed. His lips pressed confidently against Changbin’s and Changbin returned the kiss with the same depth, his hand moving on its own to trail affectionately up the younger’s back and keep him close. After a moment, they separated just briefly before coming back together again, repeating this pattern a few times before finally Changbin felt Felix’s soft lips fully part against his own. His tongue slid over his lip and on the next press, Changbin met him without a second thought and felt his stomach flip pleasantly as the kiss deepened; a thrill cutting through him that spread out to his fingertips and the soles of his feet. They moved in sync, slow and romantic with the way their mouths fit together and how their hands touched so gently. When Felix finally pulled away altogether, Changbin actually felt disappointed. However, he quickly realized that it wasn’t truly over yet.
“Agh…” The younger said through his smile, laughing softly as he sat up from his previous position and stretched out the arm he’d been leaning on. Everything had been comfortable when they were simply laying together, but propping himself up for so long had taken its toll. “I want to be more comfortable.” He explained.
Felix moved with ease and grace, boldly switching from laying beside him to being fully on top of him; another position they weren’t strangers to, but in this new context… Felix’s heart pounded in his chest. He comfortably straddled Changbin’s waist and splayed his hands out against his broad chest, smiling down at him fondly when his strong hands slid up along the tops of his thighs and then gripped them near to where they met his hips. Changbin was so attractive, he’d always thought so. He simply looked at him for a short second and indulged in the sight of his muscles beneath his shirt and the way his hair lay messily across his forehead, committing the view to memory. Things felt so… comfortable and natural; more so than he had anticipated. He’d worried a little initially that Changbin might have recoiled at the suggestion; might have been uncomfortable or even angry with him, but… everything had gone perfectly. Really, he was having sort of a ‘dream come true’ moment as he gazed at him and his heart thudded once more. This was really happening.
Felix rubbed his hands up over Changbin’s shoulders to rest at the base of either side of his neck, then dipped his head down and kissed him again. This time, he tilted his head further and did away with the cautious beginnings from before. He met him much more passionately from the start and felt goosebumps raise across his skin when Changbin matched his pace, the hands on his thighs gripping a bit harder. He let emotion overtake him and simply kissed him as he wanted, slowly and deeply, elated that the other seemed to do the same and they fell into a smooth, sensual rhythm. Eventually, one of Bin’s hands released from Felix’s thigh and changed position to cradle the back of his neck, holding him against himself while they made out; his other hand trailing up along his hip and onto his waist, partway beneath his shirt.
The blonde could feel his body temperature rising, almost lost in the moment as they kissed. It was better than he had imagined; everything was. The way Changbin’s hands felt on him, the way he tasted, how soft his lips were, how readily he kissed him back… he couldn’t believe it was real. He momentarily pulled back, just enough to rest his forehead against Changbin’s and sigh against his mouth. Changbin’s fingers laced through his hair at the back of his head, the other hand traveling further up his shirt against his side and then across his back. It felt nice; warm and romantic and Felix’s heart fluttered once again. His own hands massaged the base of his neck lovingly, his thumbs slowly caressing along his throat. He wanted… to go further, but he wasn’t sure if he should. What they were doing was already more than he could have asked or hoped for and he didn’t want to push it and potentially ruin it. He smiled softly at his own thoughts and decided to let them go and enjoy the moment for what it was. He kissed Changbin again with the same passion he had before, inhaling deeply through his nose as the physical feelings returned and Changbin returned the kiss once again.
Changbin’s mind was in a haze as Felix kissed him, unable to focus on anything other than the other man and how he was making him feel. He loved the hands at his neck, the weight on his body, the way Felix sighed and sucked at his lips and kissed him like he’d done it a hundred times before. He used the arm around his back to pull him in closer, more flush against himself, and then raised his knees just a bit to make himself more comfortable. This in turn allowed Felix to sit back more heavily on him and the shift in weight sent a thrill through him. He raised his knees even further and splayed them out slightly, enjoying the warm, heavy feeling of Felix against his hips and thighs as he seemed to sink down into him as much as he possibly could. His hand receded from under his shirt to return to its original position at the crease of his thigh, gripping it to hold him in place and press him down slowly, softly. This was… intimate, and admittedly getting to be almost a little arousing, and he started to wonder where it all would lead. Should it lead somewhere? Should they dial it back now, before…
He didn’t have too long to dwell on the internal dilemma because suddenly Felix jolted, startled by something he clearly hadn’t noticed. As he sat up and pulled away, Changbin looked up at him, concerned, his other hand falling down to join the other at their previous positions against his thighs.
“Yongbok- what’s wrong?” He rubbed his thumbs in soothing circles, studying his expression before he finally followed his gaze to the open bedroom door behind them and quickly realized, with a rush of anxiety, what had spooked the other. He could hear keys jingling from further out in the apartment and a bag being set down- someone had arrived home. The two looked at each other in understanding and Changbin laughed lightheartedly as Felix immediately rolled off of him and landed on the bed next to him. He laughed again and sat up a bit more, making himself look a little more casual just as Felix was also doing next to him. His heart was racing at the idea of being caught like this, but the close call also excited him a little. It was sort of a disappointing end, but… it was probably for the better, before they took it too far on a whim and took steps they wouldn’t be able to undo.
All things considered, he was far from upset and his heart swelled when he looked at the other man. Felix was grinning at him, looking playful and pleased over their new secret and he knew that they would be alright. Things would be different; there was no way they wouldn’t be, but Changbin wasn’t worried.