Archive of Our Own

Haechan couldn’t help it. His eyes drifted across the cafeteria, landing on Mark. The older boy sat with his usual group—Jeno, Chenle, and some other friends. They were laughing about something, probably some inside joke Haechan didn’t know about, but it didn’t matter. His focus was only on Mark.

He pushed off from the bench, causing Jaemin, who was next to him, to groan. "Hyuck, don’t," Jaemin warned, his voice laced with annoyance. "Just let him be."

Haechan grinned, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "I’m just saying hi."

"You’ve said hi a hundred times today. Maybe it’s time to say goodbye," Jisung mumbled from his spot on the grass, eyes glued to his phone.

Renjun, leaning against the tree, spoke up as well. "Haechan, seriously. It’s been months. He’s not interested. Stop pushing it."

"Yeah, but what if I give up just when he’s about to realize he likes me back?" Haechan argued, not really believing his own words but grasping for anything to keep his heart from sinking.

Jaemin sighed, rolling his eyes. "He’s ignoring you on purpose, not by accident."

Ignoring their warnings, Haechan made his way over to Mark’s group. As he approached, Mark glanced up, his neutral expression not shifting even as Haechan waved brightly.

"Mark hyung!" Haechan greeted, sliding onto the empty spot next to him.

Mark’s shoulders stiffened slightly, but he didn’t respond, continuing his conversation with Jeno about their upcoming project. The lack of acknowledgment stung, but Haechan wasn’t one to back down easily. He kept talking, throwing in random comments and jokes in an attempt to get Mark to smile, or at least look at him.

But Mark remained unbothered, his responses clipped, his attention elsewhere.

Finally, Jeno gave Haechan a look, as if silently telling him to give Mark space. Haechan felt his stomach twist, but before he could say anything, Mark stood up abruptly.

"I need to go," Mark muttered, voice low and tense. "Jeno, Chenle, catch you guys later."

Without a backward glance, Mark walked off, leaving Haechan standing there, feeling like an intruder. Chenle gave him a sympathetic smile, but that only made it worse.

Days passed, and Haechan continued his routine of trying to get close to Mark, much to his friends’ frustration.

"Can’t you take a hint?" Jaemin said one afternoon, sipping his drink. "He’s obviously not into it. You’re wasting your time."

"I just… I don’t know. I feel like there’s something there," Haechan mumbled, kicking at the ground. He knew his friends were right. Mark’s disinterest was clear as day, and yet, he couldn’t stop. It was like a habit now—chasing after someone who wouldn’t turn around.

But one particular day, everything changed.

Mark had been in a bad mood from the start. His patience was already running thin due to some project mishap, and the last thing he wanted was Haechan’s constant hovering. But, as always, Haechan showed up, ready to fill the silence with his usual teasing remarks.

"Haechan," Mark’s voice cut through the air sharply, startling him. Haechan blinked, taken aback by the edge in Mark’s tone.

"Hyung, what’s wrong—" Haechan started, his playful smile faltering.

"Just… stop. Can you stop bugging me for once?" Mark snapped, eyes narrowing as frustration boiled over. "I’ve had enough of this, okay? I don’t need you constantly in my face, acting like we’re close when we’re not."

Haechan stared, mouth slightly open. "I just—"

"Get lost, Haechan. Seriously. Stop following me around."

The words hit like a punch to the gut. For the first time in months, Haechan was completely silent. The look on Mark’s face wasn’t just annoyance—it was anger, maybe even resentment. He hadn’t realized how much of a burden he’d become.

"I-I'm sorry," Haechan whispered, his voice barely above a whisper.

Without another word, Haechan turned on his heel and left. He didn’t go back to his friends, didn’t try to joke about it. He just went home, the sting of Mark’s words echoing in his mind.

After that, Haechan stopped.

He stopped seeking Mark out. Stopped trying to make him laugh or dragging him into conversations. He stayed with his friends—Jaemin, Jisung, and Renjun—like they’d told him to from the beginning. He still smiled and joked, but something was missing. There was no more sparkle in his usual antics, no more hope.

Days passed, and for the first time in a long while, Mark noticed the difference.

It started as a small thing—Mark realizing he hadn’t heard Haechan’s loud voice chiming in during lunch. Then, he noticed the absence of Haechan’s constant messages. He thought he’d feel relieved, that he’d finally have some peace. But instead, there was an odd emptiness that followed him throughout the day.

"Yo, what’s up with you?" Jeno asked one day as they sat together. "You’ve been staring off into space for the past ten minutes."

"Yeah, something on your mind?" Chenle chimed in, tossing a chip into his mouth.

Mark frowned, leaning back in his chair. "I don’t know… It’s just—Haechan."

Jeno raised an eyebrow. "What about him?"

"He’s been quiet. He’s not bugging me anymore," Mark muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "I thought I’d like it, but now it just feels… weird."

Chenle snickered. "Oh, so you miss him?"

Mark scowled. "I don’t miss him. It’s just… different."

Jeno smirked knowingly. "Sounds like you miss him to me. You got used to him always being around."

"That’s not it," Mark denied quickly, though the thought lingered. Had he really gotten so accustomed to Haechan’s presence that now, without him, it felt wrong?

The more Mark thought about it, the more he realized how quiet things had become. Haechan had always been a burst of energy, even if it was annoying at times. And now that energy was gone. The silence felt… heavy.

Weeks passed, and Mark found himself seeking out Haechan more and more. He’d walk by the usual spots where Haechan hung out with his friends, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. But even when he saw Haechan, their eyes wouldn’t meet. Haechan no longer came over, no longer bugged him with his silly jokes or casual touches.

It was driving Mark crazy.

One afternoon, Mark found himself sitting alone at their usual spot in the courtyard. His friends had left for class, and he was left to his thoughts. Haechan was sitting across the field with Jaemin, Jisung, and Renjun, laughing at something Jaemin said.

Mark sighed, running a hand through his hair. He didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t know how to bridge the gap that had grown between them.

Suddenly, a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"You look like you’ve got something on your mind."

Mark glanced up to see Jeno standing next to him, arms crossed. "What is it this time? Haechan again?"

Mark groaned. "Yeah… I think I messed up."

Jeno sat down next to him, leaning back on his hands. "What did you do?"

"I told him to get lost," Mark muttered, guilt settling in. "He was just trying to be friendly, and I snapped at him."

"Well, you did get what you asked for," Jeno pointed out. "He’s not bugging you anymore."

"Yeah, but…" Mark trailed off, staring at the ground. "I didn’t realize how much I’d miss him. I actually liked having him around."

"Then why don’t you tell him that?" Jeno suggested.

Mark frowned. "It’s not that simple."

Jeno raised an eyebrow. "Why not? You liked him being around, right? You miss him now that he’s gone. So, go talk to him. Apologize. Maybe you’ll get your loud, annoying Haechan back."

Mark looked across the field again, where Haechan was laughing with his friends. The thought of walking over there and apologizing made his stomach twist with nerves, but Jeno was right. He had to try.

"I’ll do it," Mark said, standing up. "I’ll talk to him."

Jeno smiled, giving him a thumbs-up. "Good luck, man. You’re gonna need it."

Mark didn’t know how things would go, but one thing was clear—he missed Haechan, and it was time to make things right.

The next few days were torture for Mark. Every time he saw Haechan laughing with Jaemin, Jisung, and Renjun, his chest tightened. It wasn’t just the absence of the annoying chatter he missed—it was Haechan himself.

Mark tried to approach Haechan a couple of times, but every time he got close, Haechan would slip away, always managing to avoid him. It didn’t take long for Mark to realize that Haechan was no longer waiting for his attention, no longer orbiting around him like before. He had moved on.

Mark hated the feeling.

"What are you going to do?" Jeno asked one afternoon as they sat in their usual spot.

"I don’t know," Mark muttered, staring at his hands. "I need to apologize, but what if it’s too late?"

Chenle, who was sitting beside them, chimed in. "It might be, but you’re never going to know unless you try. Plus, it’s not just about an apology, right? You like him."

Mark’s throat tightened at Chenle’s words. "Yeah," he admitted quietly. "I do. I think I’ve liked him for a while, I just didn’t realize it until now."

"Then go for it," Jeno encouraged. "But you better be serious about it. Don’t mess with his feelings again."

Mark nodded. He knew this wasn’t just about making up for hurting Haechan. This was about admitting something to himself that he had pushed aside for too long—he had feelings for Haechan, real ones.

Meanwhile, across the courtyard, Haechan was sitting with his friends, half-listening to Jaemin rambling about a new game. His mind was elsewhere, replaying the scene from days ago when Mark had told him to get lost. The sting of those words had faded, but the disappointment remained.

"You good, Hyuck?" Renjun asked, noticing the faraway look in his eyes.

Haechan shook his head, forcing a smile. "Yeah, just thinking."

"About Mark?" Jisung asked bluntly, earning him a glare from Jaemin.

"Shut up, Jisung," Jaemin hissed. "Don’t bring that up."

Haechan sighed. "It’s fine. And yeah, I was thinking about him, but not in the way you think."

"You should stop thinking about him altogether," Renjun said seriously. "He hurt you, remember? And now that you’ve stopped chasing him, he’s suddenly interested? For what? His ego?"

"Yeah," Jaemin added, crossing his arms. "You shouldn’t let him play with your feelings. Just because he’s paying attention now doesn’t mean he’s genuine."

Haechan didn’t respond right away, their words hitting a little too close to home. He had always been the one to chase, the one to make the effort. Now that he had stopped, why was Mark suddenly interested? Was it really just because he missed the attention?

"You deserve better," Renjun continued, his voice firm. "You deserve someone who’s sure about you from the start, not someone who only realizes it after you’re gone."

Haechan nodded slowly. His friends were right. He had spent so much time trying to get Mark to notice him, but at what cost? Did he really want to go through all of that again just because Mark was starting to show some interest?

"You’re right," Haechan finally said. "I should stop thinking about him. It’s not worth it."

But even as he said the words, he couldn’t help but wonder—what if Mark was serious this time?

Mark wasn’t oblivious to the way Haechan’s friends looked at him whenever he passed by. It was obvious they didn’t want him anywhere near Haechan, and he couldn’t blame them. He had messed up, and now he had to prove that he wasn’t just chasing Haechan out of guilt or for the sake of his ego. He needed to show that his feelings were real.

He decided to take a chance.

One evening, after classes had ended and the sun was beginning to set, Mark caught sight of Haechan walking alone, headphones on as he strolled through the campus park. It was the perfect opportunity.

Taking a deep breath, Mark hurried after him, calling out his name. "Haechan!"

Haechan stopped, turning slowly to face him. There was no excitement in his eyes, no playful grin—just a neutral expression that made Mark’s heart sink.

"What do you want?" Haechan asked, his tone far from the usual teasing warmth.

Mark rubbed the back of his neck, feeling more nervous than he had in a long time. "I wanted to talk. Can we sit for a minute?"

Haechan hesitated but eventually nodded, leading them to a nearby bench. They sat in silence for a few moments before Mark finally spoke.

"I’ve been thinking a lot… about us," Mark began, his voice quiet but steady. "And I realized something. I like you, Haechan. I’ve liked you for a while, I just didn’t know it."

Haechan looked at him, expression unreadable. "Really? And what made you realize that?"

Mark sighed, feeling the weight of his words. "When you stopped talking to me, when you stopped being around… I missed you. At first, I thought it was just because I wasn’t used to the silence, but it’s more than that. I miss you, not just the attention. And I know I hurt you. I’m sorry, Haechan. I didn’t mean to push you away."

For the first time since they’d sat down, Haechan’s expression softened, but there was still hesitation in his eyes. "You really hurt me, Mark. You told me to get lost."

"I know," Mark said, his voice cracking slightly. "And I regret it. I was in a bad mood that day, but that’s no excuse. I should have never said that to you."

Haechan sighed, leaning back on the bench. "It’s just… I don’t know, Mark. My friends think you’re only chasing me now because I stopped chasing you. And honestly, I’ve thought the same thing."

Mark’s heart sank. He had feared this would come up, but he had to be honest. "It’s not like that. I know it looks that way, but it’s not just about me missing the attention. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I realized that I really do have feelings for you. I was just too scared to admit it before."

There was a long silence as Haechan stared at the ground, deep in thought. Mark didn’t dare say anything more, afraid of pushing too hard.

Finally, Haechan spoke. "I don’t know, Mark. I need time to think about this. I can’t just jump back in after everything."

Mark nodded, relief and anxiety mixing in his chest. "I understand. Take all the time you need. I’ll wait."

Haechan stood up, slipping his headphones back on. "I’ll see you around, Mark."

As he walked away, Mark watched him go, the uncertainty weighing heavily on his shoulders. He didn’t know what would happen, but for the first time, he had put his feelings out there. Now, all he could do was wait.

Mark wasn’t the type to give up easily, and this time, he was determined to show Haechan that he was serious. After their talk, he knew it wouldn’t be enough just to apologize. He had to prove his feelings through actions, too.

So, he started small. The next morning, Haechan found a cup of his favorite iced coffee waiting for him on his desk in class. There was no note, but the barista had scribbled a smiley face on the cup, and Haechan knew immediately who it was from.

He stared at the drink for a moment, feeling his heart flutter. He didn’t want to read too much into it, but it was hard not to smile just a little.

Later that afternoon, as Haechan was walking to his next class, he spotted Mark leaning against a tree, waiting for him. Before Haechan could slip away unnoticed, Mark caught his eye and waved.

"Hey," Mark called out, walking over with that easy smile that used to make Haechan’s day.

"Hey," Haechan replied, trying to keep his voice casual.

"I got you something," Mark said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a small box. He handed it to Haechan, who blinked in surprise.

"What’s this?" Haechan asked, opening it to find a neatly wrapped sandwich—one of his favorites.

Mark shrugged. "Just thought you might be hungry."

Haechan stared at him, unsure of what to say. Part of him wanted to push Mark away, to remind him of the hurt he’d caused. But another part, a much larger part, was starting to melt under the attention. This was the Mark he had always hoped for—the one who noticed the little things, the one who cared.

"Thanks," Haechan mumbled, feeling a bit awkward. He didn’t know how to handle this sudden change in Mark, and he wasn’t sure if he should let his guard down just yet.

"No problem," Mark said with a grin before heading off to his own class.

Over the next few days, Mark didn’t stop. Every morning, there was a new surprise waiting for Haechan—whether it was a snack, a small note of encouragement, or even flowers left on his desk. His gestures were simple but heartfelt, and Haechan couldn’t help but be touched by the effort.

"Are you seriously falling for this?" Jaemin asked one afternoon when they were all hanging out at their usual spot. Haechan had just told them about the flowers Mark had given him that day—a small bouquet of daisies, tied with a ribbon.

"It’s sweet," Haechan said defensively, though he tried to keep his voice neutral. "He’s really trying."

Renjun shook his head. "I don’t trust it. He ignored you for so long, and now suddenly he’s all about you? It just doesn’t sit right with me."

"Same," Jisung added, frowning. "What if this is just him trying to get back on your good side for his ego?"

Haechan bit his lip, unsure of how to respond. His friends’ words echoed his own doubts, but at the same time, Mark’s actions didn’t feel fake. There was a sincerity in his eyes whenever they spoke, a softness that hadn’t been there before.

"I don’t know," Haechan admitted. "But I still… I still really like him."

Jaemin sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Just be careful, Hyuck. We don’t want to see you get hurt again."

Mark's biggest gesture came at their school’s annual event—a talent show where students could showcase their skills. Mark had always been a talented performer, and Haechan had watched him perform countless times before, admiring the way Mark’s confidence radiated from the stage.

But this time was different.

As Mark stepped onto the stage with his guitar, he scanned the crowd, his eyes landing on Haechan. Their gazes locked, and for a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the room.

"This one’s for someone special," Mark said into the microphone, his voice soft but steady. "I hope he knows how much he means to me."

Haechan’s heart skipped a beat as Mark began to play. The strumming of the guitar was soft at first, but as he opened his mouth to sing, the raw emotion in his voice filled the auditorium.

“I'm sayin' things I don't believe
And your love casts its shadow on the things I do
And I can hear so clearly all the words I wish I said
You're stuck in my head.”

The crowd was silent, the air heavy with the weight of Mark’s confession. Each line felt personal, as if Mark was laying his heart bare for everyone to see.

“But I only think of you
Will we be together soon?
I'm thrown to the wayside
You're planted in my mind
But I don't wanna be okay without you.”

Haechan’s breath hitched as the words washed over him. Mark wasn’t just performing a song—he was speaking directly to him, expressing the feelings that Haechan had longed to hear.

Mark’s gaze never left Haechan’s, his voice full of longing.

“Now I can't find the words to say
That'll be the perfect balance between loud and clear
And I can hear so well, your lovely voice inside my head
Saying you love me, oh.”

As Mark continued, Haechan felt his heart racing. The walls he had carefully built around himself were starting to crumble, each lyric breaking them down piece by piece.

“But I only think of you
Will we be together soon?
I'm thrown to the wayside
You're planted in my mind, I-I
But I don't wanna be okay without you.”

The sincerity in Mark’s voice was undeniable. Every chord, every note was filled with a raw vulnerability that Haechan had never seen from him before.

“But I only think of you
Will we be together soon?
I'm thrown to the wayside
Oh, you're planted in my mind
But I don't wanna be okay without you
Without you
No, I don't wanna be okay without you.”

The final notes echoed through the room, and for a brief moment, there was only silence. Haechan could feel the weight of Mark’s emotions pressing against him, the meaning behind the lyrics hitting him like a tidal wave.

The applause that followed was thunderous, but Haechan barely heard it. All he could think about was Mark’s voice, his confession, and the undeniable truth that had been laid before him.

Mark had sung those words for him. And somewhere deep down, Haechan knew that he couldn’t ignore them.

The next day, Mark found himself standing in front of Haechan’s friends. He had known this moment would come, and as uncomfortable as it was, he knew it was necessary.

Jaemin, Renjun, and Jisung all stared at him, their expressions unreadable. Mark took a deep breath, steeling himself.

"I know you guys don’t trust me," he started, his voice firm but sincere. "And I get it. I’ve messed up, and I hurt Haechan. But I’m not here because of my ego, or because I miss the attention. I’m here because I like him. I really like him. And I’m not going to stop until he knows that for sure."

Renjun raised an eyebrow. "And what happens if he doesn’t want you anymore?"

Mark didn’t hesitate. "Then that’s his decision, and I’ll respect it. But I’m not giving up without trying. He deserves to know how I feel."

There was a long pause before Jaemin finally spoke. "You hurt him pretty badly, Mark. You can’t just expect us to believe you’ve changed overnight."

"I don’t," Mark said, his voice calm. "I don’t expect you to trust me right away. But I’m willing to prove myself, no matter how long it takes."

Jisung exchanged a glance with Renjun and Jaemin before nodding slowly. "Alright. We’ll give you a chance. But if you hurt him again, we’re done."

Mark nodded, relieved but still determined. "Thank you. I won’t mess this up."

Later that evening, Haechan met up with his friends, ready to hear what they had to say. He had been nervous all day, wondering how their conversation with Mark had gone.

"So?" Haechan asked, glancing between them. "What did he say?"

Jaemin sighed, crossing his arms. "He’s serious, Hyuck. He really likes you."

Renjun nodded. "He’s willing to do whatever it takes to prove it."

Haechan felt a flicker of hope, but he still had to ask. "Do you guys think I should give him another chance?"

Jisung hesitated before answering. "We were worried before, but… he seemed genuine. If you still like him, maybe it’s worth giving him a chance."

Haechan smiled softly. "I do. I still really like him."

"Then go for it," Jaemin said, giving him a small shove. "But if he screws up, we’re here to back you up."

Haechan laughed, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. His friends’ approval meant the world to him, but more than that, he was ready to take a chance on Mark again.

The next day, Haechan found Mark waiting for him outside his classroom, a nervous smile on his face. In his hands was a single sunflower, bright and cheerful.

"Hi," Mark greeted, holding the flower out to him. "I, uh, thought you might like this."

Haechan smiled, accepting the sunflower. "Thanks."

Mark rubbed the back of his neck, clearly anxious. "I wanted to talk. Can we go somewhere?"

Haechan nodded, and they walked together to a quiet spot on campus. Once they were seated, Mark took a deep breath.

"I meant everything I said in the song," Mark began, his voice steady. "I like you, Haechan. I really, really like you. And I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it."

Haechan looked at him, his heart pounding. "It hurt, Mark. When you told me to get lost, it hurt more than I thought it would."

"I know," Mark said softly. "And I’m so sorry. I was a jerk, and I pushed you away when I should have done the opposite."

Haechan was quiet for a moment, processing everything. He could see the sincerity in Mark’s eyes, the regret, and the hope.

"I still like you, too," Haechan admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Mark’s face lit up, his relief palpable. "Really?"

Haechan nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah. But I need to know that you’re serious. I don’t want to go through that again."

Mark hesitated for a moment, then softly asked, "Can I… hold your hand?"

Haechan glanced at him, surprised, before giving a small nod.

Mark reached out, gently taking Haechan’s hand in his. "I’m serious. I’m all in, Hyuck. I’m not going to mess this up."

Haechan squeezed his hand, feeling warmth spread through his chest. "Okay. Let’s give this a try."