Work Text:
Living in a castle was weird.
That's a god given truth Hugo would forever live by. Nothing was normal about it, not the norms, not the etiquettes, not the people,
not the one specific person that was the entire reason he was here to begin with.
Maybe it wasn't just the castle part.
Even just a year ago he would never believe anything that has happened to him. Somehow it's all been less predictable than living on the street. Not that he'd ever admit that outloud, because that sounds wildly unappreciative, all things considered.
Of course, none of that actually mattered. What mattered was that person. The person that for some reason he'd never understand had decided he was worthy enough to be let back into his life with open arms, despite the very clear reasons he really shouldn't have been.
He was never going to get used to this.
For once in his life he didn't have to work to earn something, and that alone was horrifying enough, but the constant worry he was going to ruin the second chance at a good life he was so generously given was absolutely 100 times worse. He liked to tell himself that he would never do that on purpose, but sometimes it felt like he wasn't in control of anything in his life, so who knows.
He was sitting at a royal dinner, waiting for a meal that's probably worth more than he was, (read: definitely worth more). The weird clawing feeling of being so out of place was jarring. It was one thing when he had to act like he was above anything for a job, because it had a purpose and an end goal. Here he was supposed to actually try to fit in, because he was in. Wholeheartedly a part of a royal dinner.
Maybe he could have handled this. It's not like he'd never been to a fancy dinner before, but the god awful number of different forks set in front of him were giving him second doubts. Really, who needs this many forks?
Maybe it was just an optional thing, maybe rich people just liked having a variety of utensils to choose from.
He definitely could've just asked Varian, he knew he wouldn't mind giving him pointers, but that's the issue. He shouldn't have to get pointers.
The food was finally being served onto their plates, and he could not even begin to guess what it was. Some sort of meat, with some sort of herbs and sauce. Another dictation that he was not meant to be eating this.
He chanced a glance upward to see if he could view what everyone else chose, only to be instead met with some royal noble glaring at him like he'd grown a second head. Normally he would glare right back because fuck that guy, but something told him being petty at a dinner with your boyfriend's family that you're probably already on thin ice with wasn't a fantastic idea. He ducked his head back down, face burning with embarrassment.
"It's the third one down." A hushed voice beside him said. He looked over to see Rapunzel smiling sympathetically at him, which really wasn't helping his nerves.
"Huh?" He asked dumbly.
"The fork. You use the third one for this. It's tricky, but you'll get the hang of it."
"Thanks." He mumbled, hesitantly picking the fork up, like she was lying to him for the hell of it. He didn't know her, for all he knew she could be.
He could feel Varian trying to meet his eye for whatever reason, but he was determined not to follow through. The last thing he needed was to alert him that something was wrong. Nothing should've even been wrong, but knowing Varian, he would definitely sense it. Having someone who could read him like a book was nothing short of mortifying because he really didn't need to be the one stressing him out anymore than he already was.
The dinner could not have gone by any slower. The moment things began to wrap up, he and Varian beelined it out of the room. Thankfully Varian seemed to hate these things just as much as he did, which made him feel slightly better.
They made their way to Varian's work room, where they drug in an extra chair. Hugo's was still being put together, despite his repeated assurances that he really didn't need to own two separate rooms. Having a bedroom in a castle made him feel sick enough as is. Plus, he really didn't mind sharing a space with Varian. He felt himself panicking anytime he wasn't in his line of sight after everything that happened with Ulla.
That would probably work itself out.
"You doing OK?" Varian asked, causing Hugo to leave his mental crisis.
"Yup, peachy. Why do you ask?
"You just seemed kinda in your own head."
"Don't worry about it. Just thinking."
"I can tell something's wrong Hugh." Varian frowned at him, making his skin itch. "You obviously don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I want to be here for you."
"It's not that." Hugo replied assuredly, stretching his arms out. "I've just got some stuff on my mind, it's nothing really specific."
"Alright." Varian responded lightly, clearly sensing the losing argument. He turned his attention back in front of him to the desk, which was littered with an uncountable amount of messily written papers and unlabeled beakers. He got used to his non existent organization skills within the same week he met him. How the hell he ever managed to find anything was between him and god as far as he was concerned.
Varian furrowed his brows, hand hovering over the table aimlessly while he searched for whatever he was searching for. He made a quiet ah-ha once he found a stack of folders tied together with a string. Normally Hugo would've found that oddly endearing, but the thought of him working through the night for the third time this week was slowly driving him insane.
"Didn't the princess say you should be taking a break from work?" Hugo asked skeptically, hoping that would be enough to veer him off of it, but he's him, so of course it wouldn't be.
"You know you can call her Rapunzel." Varian chuckled lightly. Hugo squinted his eyes at him.
"You're changing the subject."
Varian huffed a breath, untying the string.
"She said I could. I don't want to make people wait on me for no reason."
"It's not for no reason." Hugo replied more bluntly than he intended, regretting it the moment it left his mouth. They had been dancing around the incident since it happened, being sure to not destroy the tower of normalcy they had somehow managed to build.
"I can't just pause my life forever, I have a job. Sitting around sulking about things I can't change won't help anyone."
Hugo squeezed his eyes shut.
"I don't want to have to beg you to not work yourself to death, Varian."
Varian's shoulders hunched as he sat rigidly on his seat like a cornered animal and holy shit Hugo did not want this to be happening right now.
Before he could try to frantically take back the can of worms he just accidentally opened, footsteps were heard from just up the hallway. They both whipped their heads around as the person made their way to the doorway.
"Hey guys, just wanted to check in!" Rapunzel announced chipperly as she entered the room. She took one look at them and immediately stopped in the doorway. "Uh, is everything OK?"
"Yup, all good here. I've actually gotta get going, nice seeing your highness." Hugo responded quickly, shoving himself up from his seat and leaving the two in the room, morbidly relieved for the out.
As he walked down the hall he made sure to try not to run, because that would be several different levels of embarrassing if anyone saw. Besides, it's not like he was fleeing, he was just politely removing himself from an awkward situation, major difference.
It would be an actual miracle if he managed to not get lost in the millions of different hallways this stupid castle had. His boots squeaked with every step he made because of the marble floors. When the hell did he become so uncoordinated?
After accidentally walking down several wrong hallways with the gracefulness of a drunk man, he finally somehow made it back to his room.
He hadn't had much time to buy things to put in it, not that he really cared enough to do that anyway. The most prominent things were the bed and the desk, which had a few trinkets Yong had collected during the trip and insisted he kept.
He laid in his bed, Olivia perched on his chest as a million thoughts circled through his brain. Was he stupid to think he could handle staying here? He really wouldn't blame Varian if he didn't want him here anymore, he's not even sure why the hell he wanted him here to begin with.
He was well aware he didn't deserve this life with Varian, but holy shit the thought of not having it made his throat feel tight with grief.
A sudden soft knock on his door caused all of the noise in his brain come to an abrupt stop. He cleared his throat in hopes that would make his voice not sound disgustingly wobbly.
"Come in." He shouted as he sat up, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve. Olivia scurried to move to his side instead.
The door quickly pushed open, Varian standing behind it, Ruddiger sitting by his feet. Hugo absently thought about how odd the switch from tents to indoors was.
God he really can't think about that point of time right now.
"Hey." Hugo squeaked out, mentally strangling himself for the voice crack. "Everything alright?"
"Can I come in?" Varian asked softly, ignoring Hugo's question. His voice didn't sound like it was faring much better than his own.
"Uh yeah? Of course." He replied. Why he was asking to enter a room in the place he lived in was beyond him.
Varian flashed a quick awkward smile before stepping in, closing the door behind him. He made his way over to his bed, plopping down next to him. He seemed to be mentally preparing himself for whatever he was about to say, running an anxious hand through his hair. Hugo's heart felt like it was going to hammer out of his chest.
"I'm sorry." Varian said, folding is hands into his lap. Hugo had to smack his lips to get his mouth to move.
"What?"
"I'm sorry." Varian repeated. "I uh, I don't know what's wrong with me? I know I've been acting standoffish and that's not fair to you because it's not your fault at all. I know how I deal with shit isn't healthy, I'm really trying to work on it, it's just been hard this time."
Hugo felt something in his chest ache. He was an absolute grade A asshole.
"There's nothing wrong with you." He said firmly. "I shouldn't have dropped that onto you all at once out of the blue. You are not the one who should be apologizing right now."
"I am, and just because I'm doing it doesn't mean you have to forgive me."
"Well, if you're gonna say sorry either way, It's definitely fine and I forgive you." Hugo smirked, nudging him.
"Then what's happening?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean, Hugo. Whatever it is you're not telling me." Varian exasperated desperately.
"I didn't mean to worry you." Hugo murmured.
Obviously not a great response if the way Varian frowned was anything to go off of.
"That's not what I want. I'm always going to worry about you because I care about you, stupid."
"You shouldn't." Hugo huffed. Varian glared at him, causing whatever superficial annoyance he had to deflate. "I don't even know. I don't want to mess anything up anymore than I already have. I have no idea what forks to use, I don't know how to navigate the hallways, everything's been so different lately and I feel like I'm hassling everyone all the time, it sucks."
The last revelation was the final shove to what he'd be trying so hard to keep under raps the last few days. His rambles sounded like a tired child and it was humiliating. He really shouldn't be acting like this, his life was going perfectly, but he can't seem to help himself from continuously ruining it.
Varian placed his hand onto his own, causing him to flinch before settling. He looked down at his hand, which was normally gloved. The combination of freckles and healed over scars caused something to flutter in his chest.
"Hugo, you're not hassling anyone." he said certainly. "No one is expecting you to automatically know how to navigate things. You're human."
"It's not just that." He mumbled, and holy shit he was actually doing this. "I don't think I'm wired to know how to have real relationships with people. Clearly." He admitted painfully.
"We'll figure it out together." Varian squeezed his hand. "We've got nothing but time."
"You really want to waste yours waiting for me to get my shit together?"
"It's not a waste, not when it comes to you." Varian replied with so much earnesty in his voice it caused Hugo's breath to catch in his throat. He really hoped Varian didn't hear it. "And anyway, it's not just you. I'm in just as unfamiliar territory as you are when it comes to all this, but I want to work on being better because this is worth it."
Out of fear of breaking into an embarrassingly loud sob, Hugo simply hummed in response, leaning his head on Varian's shoulder.
"You sure?" He asked after a moment's silence.
"I'm sure. Can't let you take all the credit." Varian replied with a grin. Hugo snorted.
"Oh you wish you could match my level of patheticism."
"There's no way that's a real word."
"You're not a real word."
Varian rolled his eyes, elbowing him softly. Ruddiger hopped onto the bed, climbing onto Varian's lap before obnoxiously sprawling out over the two of them. Hugo chuckled, scratching the raccoon's chin as a sense of content washed over him. A drastic change to what he'd been feeling.
There was still a lot they had to process, and things they weren't ready to talk about yet, but if Varian was willing to put in the effort of moving forward, he was too.