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And Oh, Poor Atlas

Summary:

The Atlas Gauntlets do what they're supposed to. They were made to mine the Fissures, to move stone and dirt, to empower their wearer to carry objects they would never have the strength to lift on their own.

Thousands of pounds of rock slam down and the gauntlets catch them. And Vi has to hold them up.

Written for Whumptober 2024: No. 10 & 20 - Passing Out from Pain & Giving Permission to Die, and No. 26 - Nightmares

Notes:

Hello, hello! Happy Whumptober!

We're playing fast and loose with the rules here, going out of order and sticking to a Friday posting schedule. I can do what I want.

I've had this one done FOREVER and I've been so excited to publish it. I'm really happy with how it turned out. :)

Enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Under Pressure

Chapter Text

Solitary confinement in Stillwater has given Vi a healthy dislike of being trapped in small spaces deep underground.

Underground? No problem. Most of her life - excluding seven and a half years in prison - was spent in the Fissures. The Lanes will always be a part of her, even if she lives under open skies for the rest of her life.

Small spaces? Fine. She's used to sharing little room with a lot of people; her parents' home had been basically a single room shared by the four of them, and she and Powder had slept in a cramped bedroom at Vander's. The size of Kiramman Manor had made her uncomfortable enough to actively seek out something small and cozy when she got her own apartment in Piltover.

Trapped? Uncomfortable, but nothing she can't handle. She's pretty good at getting out of sticky situations; decent lock-picking skills and a well-trained body mean there's not much that can hold her too long, short of a prison specifically designed and staffed to prevent escape.

But all of them together?

No thanks.

So when the mine they're searching shudders around them, Vi is... uncomfortable.

Understatement of the fucking century.

Caitlyn freezes at the distant rumble, beam of her flashlight going completely still even as her hand comes up in a clear gesture for them to halt.

Vi and the two other enforcers go still at her signal. In the dim light of the flashlight beams and the blue glow of Vi's gauntlets, Vi can see the two young rookies exchange a wide-eyed glance. One of them reaches instinctively for his sidearm.

Is he planning on shooting their way out of a potentially unstable adit? Vi rolls her eyes, even as she twitches her fingers to let some of the pressure out of her gauntlets. As they hiss quietly, the boy glances over at her, sees her expression, and lets go of the pistol, looking embarassed.

Caitlyn swings her flashlight beam up to the ceiling, diffussing the light enough for her and Vi to make eye contact.

"How far?" Caitlyn asks softly.

Vi shakes her head helplessly. "Not far enough."

Caitlyn's jaw tightens for a moment; that's clearly not the answer she was hoping for. But then she nods sharply. "Okay," she whispers. "Turn around. We're heading back."

One of the rookies says, "But, Sheriff --"

"It's not up for debate," Caitlyn whispers, and Vi's certain she would have snapped it if she wasn't trying to be quiet. "Turn around and head back."

The rookie looks like he still wants to argue but his friend elbows him and his mouth snaps shut. He gives a reluctant nod and then turns around.

And steps forward with a single, sharp click.

Oh, fuck.

Vi doesn't have time to think anything else before the explosion triggers.

There's a flash of blinding white light and Vi throws her hands up without thinking, shielding her face. As the Atlas Gauntlets slam together at the wrists, something happens. She's not sure how - she's only triggered it once before and that was an accident too - but they spark with blue arcane energy and a sort of shield bursts from them and surrounds her and the others; it's pure luck that they're all standing so close together.

The rumble around them grows louder and then, with a nightmarish roar, the tunnel collapses on top of them. Thousands of pounds of dirt and rock and ore suddenly entomb them, trapping them inside a tiny blue bubble of magic, and Vi's heart seizes with fear --

The shield flickers out.

No, she thinks in panic, and then the weight of all the earth above them comes crashing down onto her still raised arms.

The Atlas Gauntlets do what they're supposed to. They were made to mine the Fissures, to move stone and dirt, to empower their wearer to carry objects they would never have the strength to lift on their own.

Thousands of pounds of rock slam down and the gauntlets catch them. And Vi has to hold them up.

It's excruciating. Every joint in her body is screaming, every muscle is on fire, every bone is molten. There's a terrible moment where her knees begin to buckle before she manages to lock them, and the shift settles more rock against her arms and her shoulders and her melting spine.

She can't help it. She screams.

It's hard to focus on anything; her awareness of the world around her is drowned out by the fire burning through her. But then there are hands cupping her face, cool and gentle and achingly familiar. She drags her eyes open.

"Caitlyn."

Her partner's name comes out as a sob of relief - Caitlyn is here, Caitlyn will help her, Caitlyn can make the pain go away.

Her partner's face is pale in the dim light; there's dust in her hair and a cut on her cheek. Her hands don't tremble, but her lips do.

"Vi," Caitlyn whispers. Her eyes are wide with horror, flickering between Vi's face and the stone slab pressing down above them. "You --"

She stops, still cradling Vi's face in her hands. Vi lets her eyes drift closed again and pants for breath. The angle of her arms sets her shoulders aflame and makes her lungs feel tight. All of her bones are being driven down into each other, grinding together at the joints. Only Caitlyn's gentle touch doesn't hurt.

"Vi," Caitlyn says, and it sounds like she's on the verge of tears. Vi once again forces her eyes open, just in time to see her partner swallow hard before continuing. "I need you to hang on. I need you to stay where you are while we figure this out."

"Cait," Vi gasps, "it's too heavy, I can't --"

Caitlyn's eyes glisten, gathering tears reflecting the blue glow of the gauntlets. "I know, Vi. I know. But if you let go, we'll all die."

She's right. Vi knows that she's right. But hanging on, staying where she is, means absolute agony.

And letting go means Caitlyn's death.

Vi whimpers and Caitlyn's hands shift. Her thumbs swipe under Vi's eyes like she's wiping away tears. Vi wasn't even aware she was crying.

"Please, Vi," Caitlyn whispers. "Please, hold on."

It's a monumental effort, but Vi manages a stilted nod.

"Tallow is injured. I'm going to tend to him," Caitlyn says quietly. Her hand slides down Vi's jaw, gently tipping her head up so they're looking into each other's eyes. "I'll be right here. I'm not leaving you."

"Okay," Vi chokes, and then Caitlyn's hands are gone. Without the anchoring touch, the small space seems to be closing in on itself. Even with the light from the flashlights and the gauntlets, the darkness wraps around her with suffocating force.

She squeezes her eyes shut and tries to breathe, even as the earth bears down on her back and her ribcage creaks beneath its weight. She can hear Caitlyn talking, quiet and close; she can't make out what her partner is saying, but she latches onto the sound of her voice like it's a lifeline.

There are other voices, vaguely familiar and also unintelligible, muffled by the harshness of her own breathing and the rush of blood in her ears. There's something frantic and terrified in their tones. When Caitlyn responds, Vi can hear the same fear there, lurking beneath the calm control that her partner wears so well.

Something in her bad shoulder shifts and Vi can't quite stop the whimper that claws its way up her throat. The voices all stop; she's not sure how long the silence lasts, it could be seconds or it could be hours.

Then she hears Caitlyn's voice, muffled but unmistakable, say, "Do it. Or we're all going to die in here."

The other two voices start up again, but then there are soft hands on Vi's face and her focus shifts entirely to her partner. "Cait--"

"Shh," Caitlyn soothes. Her eyes flicker up and down Vi's body and her expression twists. "Just hold on, Vi. They're - They're going to try rewiring the radio and turn it into a beacon." She brushes Vi's hair out of her eyes. "I'm sure that one of the nearby teams heard the collapse. They're going to find us; I just need you to hold on until then."

Vi doesn't know if she can. She can feel her body slowly crumbling under the strain. "Caitlyn," she whimpers, "It hurts."

Caitlyn lets out a ragged noise, like she's trying not to sob. "I know, Violet. I know. Just... please. Please, try. For me."

Vi doesn't answer. She doesn't have to; Caitlyn only uses that line when she's desperate, because she knows that Vi won't deny it.

One of Caitlyn's hands leaves her face and then Vi hears a slight sloshing sound and then the scrape of a flask cap being unscrewed. Suddenly, the dry burn in her throat is unbearable; she didn't realize how thirsty she was.

"You're sweating," Caitlyn murmurs. "You're going to dehydrate."

Vi chokes out a laugh. "Not... not really my main concern," she pants.

Caitlyn manages a weak smile. "It's at least something that I can help with."

She raises the flask to Vi's lips but, with the stone bearing down on her arms and shoulders and spine, Vi can't lift her head enough to drink. She can't hold back a soft groan of frustration and pain.

"It's alright," Caitlyn says quietly, even though she looks just as upset as Vi feels. "Hold on, I'll figure something out."

"N... not going anywhere," Vi rasps and immediately regrets it when Caitlyn looks like she's been slapped.

Before Vi can gather the breath to apologize - fuck, her lungs hurt - Caitlyn forces the stricken look from her face, schooling her expression into something more neutral.

"Okay," Caitlyn says. "I have an idea. It'll be a bit awkward, but..." She gently brushes her hand over the side of Vi's head through the sweat-damp hair. "You need to drink."

A few moments later, she lifts a wet handkerchief to Vi's lips and Vi can't even bring herself to feel humiliated as she sucks as much water as she can out of the cloth. They repeat the process a few more times before Caitlyn recaps the flask.

"We should save some for later," she murmurs, once again reaching up to cradle Vi's jaw in her palm.

Vi closes her eyes and tilts her head into the touch and doesn't say that she's not sure there will be a later.

One of the other enforcers says something and Caitlyn turns. "I'll be right back," she whispers to Vi, and then her touch disappears.

When Vi peels her eyes open a moment later, the flashlights are all out, leaving the blue glow of her gauntlets as the only light source. Vi's already strained breathing quickens. The darkness presses closer, heavy and hungry; she can't see the others, she can't hear them, she can't --

"Easy, easy," Caitlyn says, suddenly in front of her again. "Easy, Vi. Just breathe."

Vi drags in a ragged breath, her lungs burning. "...Lights?"

"We're going to use the batteries to boost the range of the beacon," Caitlyn explains softly. "I didn't think to warn you."

Vi shakes her head; the movement is barely more than a twitch, but Caitlyn probably understands anyway. "How long?" she manages.

Caitlyn's face twists again into that expression of pain and grief. "I don't know. I don't - I don't even know if it will work. It could be hours or --"

Or never, Vi thinks. All this suffering could be for nothing. They might all die anyway, forever entombed in this patch of heavy earth. She might just be prolonging the inevitable, holding up the roof of their grave.

Her next exhale is half sob. She always though burning would be the worst way to die. But this - being slowly crushed to death, knowing that as soon as her body gives out, Caitlyn will die too - is so much worse.

Caitlyn looks like she's about to cry again. "I'm going to help them. I'll be right here, alright?"

Vi manages another rough jerk of her head and then she's alone again, surrounded only by darkness and agony and stagnant air.

She tries, again, to focus on breathing. The air is still and heavy, and she wonders briefly if they run the risk of suffocation as well as being crushed, but maybe it's just the strain on her lungs that's making it so hard to drag in enough air. Maybe it's the exertion that has her too warm and drenched in sweat.

Time slips by like soap; she can touch it but never get a good enough grasp to hold on.

The pain is somehow both a constant and an ebb and flow. The melting of her spine and the implosion of her ribcage are unceasing, an agony she can’t escape no matter how much she tries. But her arms and legs alternate between fire and ice, between pain and numbness.

Vi fades in and out of awareness. She's never unconscious, because that's a mercy the world simply won't give her. But her focus drifts.

Sometimes, she's able to catch bits of nearby yet distant conversation, voices saying "connect that piece there" and "get through the rocks." Other times, all she has is a silent black void where she's barely aware of anything but the painful struggle of her lungs and the uneven thrumming of her heart.

Twice, Caitlyn drags her out of the dark and gives her water. Each time, her face is more grave. But as soon as she's gone again, Vi's mind wheels away into the abyss once more.

Once, she pries her eyes open to see Mylo and Claggor sitting beside Caitlyn, fiddling with the little pieces of radio and flashlight. They're both bruised and bloody, just like the last time she had seen them.

She doesn't open her eyes again after that.

Finally, after an eternity where she begins to seriously wonder if she's died and gone to hell, Vi hears Caitlyn's voice, muffled and distant, say, "All we can do now is wait."

There are responses, words like "tired" and "airflow" and "rest."

Vi wants so badly to rest.

Then it's quiet again, but Vi's not sure if that's just her. It stretches for a long time, but that might also just be her. Then finally, Caitlyn's voice breaks through the silence, and Vi's pretty sure that one's real.

"Vi?"

It's a monumental effort to open her eyes.

Caitlyn's face is pale and resolute. For a moment, she just looks at Vi, eyes flickering over her face like she's trying to memorize it. Then she smiles, strained and soft and sad.

"Tallow and Anders are... they're asleep."

She swallows hard, then licks her lips. It's a nervous gesture, and Vi wants to reassure her, wants to wipe away the tears gathering on her lower lashes, wants to ask what's going on. But the pain is paralyzing; she can't move, can't speak, can barely even breathe.

"It's okay," Caitlyn whispers. "Violet, it - it's okay. You can --" She lets out a trembling breath. "You can let go. If you can't hold it anymore, it's okay."

"No," Vi chokes. Her vision is swimming, but she forces herself to meet her partner's gaze. Caitlyn is crying. "No, you'll - you --"

"Vi," Caitlyn breathes, and it's so close that Vi can feel Caitlyn's breath against her lips. "I would rather die now, quickly, than after watching you die slowly."

"The others --" Gods, the pain. She can practically feel the bones in her legs splintering.

"They're asleep," Caitlyn murmurs. "They won't feel a thing." Her hands cup Vi's face, cool and steady and so, so gentle.

Vi sobs.

She thinks of bruises and broken bones, of cells and silence, of memories and monsters. She thinks of Warwick. She thinks of Jinx.

It could all be over.

Then she thinks of morning walks, of pastries and coffee, of the vastness of the night sky, of the Firelight childrens' laughter, of Ekko's crooked grin. She thinks of hope and home and Caitlyn.

It could all be over.

"No," she chokes. "No, I can't - I won't -- "

Caitlyn's palms press into Vi's jaw as she kisses her. It's deep and desperate and Vi does her damnedest to kiss back just as passionately, because if they are going to die, she wants to have given Caitlyn every last piece of herself that she can.

Caitlyn pulls back but doesn't let go. "I love you," she breathes against Vi's lips. "No matter what happens, no matter how this ends, I love you."

Vi chokes on another sob. "I love you." And then, in a moment of weakness, she pleads, "Don't leave me."

"Never," Caitlyn whispers, thumbs gently swiping under Vi's eyes. She must be crying again. "I'm not going anywhere."

And she doesn't. Vi drifts in and out of awareness, half-mindless with pain. When her senses do work, she can feel Caitlyn's hands on her jaw, Caitlyn's forehead against hers, Caitlyn's breath ghosting across her lips.

There is no way for her to measure time, not when she's losing so much of it. Part of her wants to ask Caitlyn. The other part of her doesn't want to know how long she's been trapped here, with her body slowly giving out around her.

So she has no idea how much time passes before Caitlyn's hand, brushing slowly over the short hair above Vi's left ear, goes suddenly still. She can hear, above the pounding in her skull, Caitlyn's breath catch and hold.

She drags her eyes open, and it's one of the hardest things she's ever done.

Caitlyn is statue-still in front of her, head turned to look back over her shoulder.

"Cait?" Vi rasps.

"Shh," Caitlyn hisses, barely more than a breath. There's a long pause where she doesn't even seem to breathe before she whispers, "Did you hear that?"

Vi can't hear anything except for the rush of blood in her ears.

Another long moment passes and then Caitlyn breathes, "Oh, gods. I think they've found us."

Vi doesn't hear anything else after that because, at that moment, something in her right knee shifts. Her vision blacks out. She would scream if her lungs could manage the air, but all that escapes her is a miserable keen of agony.

Caitlyn's hands clutch at her face; her partner is talking but Vi can't make out what she's saying. Other voices join in, loud and frantic, but they're just noise echoing through their little tomb, unintelligible through the rush of blood in Vi's ears.

"Cait?" she chokes, desperate and blind.

"Right here, Vi."

Vi presses into her partner's touch and gasps, "Knee."

Caitlyn's hands shift slightly and then she hisses, "Shit. Okay, hang on. Just a little longer, darling, just... Just a little bit longer."

I'm trying, Vi wants to tell her. I'm trying. But she can't muster the strength to speak. The darkness presses in once more, as physical as a beast bearing down on her, and she slips away again.

When she claws her way back to awareness, there is so much noise. The voices are muffled like they're coming from underwater but still loud enough that she can hear one of them say, "Sheriff, you have to get out."

Then Caitlyn's voice, right in front of her, responding, "I am not leaving until she's free." She sounds angry. "Lever it off of her. I don't care how you do it, just get her out. It's killing her."

Vi vaguely wonders who she's talking about. She thought all of the others were okay, that she'd managed to shield them during the collapse.

Before she can get her brain to pull itself together enough to figure it out, there's a horrible scraping sound, followed by the clatter of stone against stone. Something shifts, sending up a cloud of dust that coats her already dry mouth and throat.

Vi coughs hard, straining already strained lungs. Her ribcage is too tight. Her spine is a line of fire down her back. Her right knee is about to give out.

"Cait," she gasps.

The gentle hands are on her face again. "I'm right here, Vi. Just a few more seconds, I promise. Just hold on for a few more seconds."

Vi tries to open her eyes because, if her strength does fail, if her body does give out, if this really is the end of her, she wants to see Caitlyn one more time. But even as she manages to lift her heavy eyelids, all she can see is a haze of darkness.

There are more voices, all noise and no meaning.

Caitlyn's hands don't leave her face. Vi can't see her, but she knows that she's there. Part of her wants to tell her to leave, because it's not safe here, because when Vi's leg gives out, the weight on her shoulders is going to come crashing down.

But the cowardly piece of her soul, the selfish little beast that lives in her chest, just doesn't want to die alone, without those gentle hands to hold her as she goes.

"Love you," she gasps.

"Get it off of her, now!" Caitlyn snaps, terrified and furious.

There is awful sound, the deep groan of the earth around them, and then something shifts. The pain doesn't fade, but the pressure on her back vanishes.

Vi didn't realize that it was holding her up as much as she was holding it up. For maybe a second, she just sways in place, all of her bones still locked together, her right leg still shaking as the joint of her knee slowly falls apart.

Caitlyn's hands are on her face, Caitlyn's voice is in her ears, Caitlyn's arms are around her as Vi's broken body finally gives. She falls, and Caitlyn catches her, and the darkness unhinges its jaw and swallows her whole.

 

Chapter 2: Aftershock

Summary:

As soon as Vi is safe and on her way to recovery, the guilt sets in. Then the nightmares come.

CW: brief description of a decaying corpse, very minor sexual content

Notes:

Hello again!

We're switching to Caitlyn's POV. She's having a rough time. This one kinda fits prompt 26 - Nightmares. But it's really more hurt/comfort than whump.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The stone lifts away, and Vi crumples.

"Vi," Caitlyn gasps as she lurches forward to catch her partner before she can hit the ground. She folds Vi into her arms, expecting to hear her cry out in pain or to feel her flinch at the touch, but there is nothing. Not a word, not a wince, not a whimper.

Vi is just dead weight in her arms and Caitlyn's chest seizes in fear.

"Sheriff, get back!" someone shouts.

Caitlyn stumbles backwards, dragging both Vi and herself away from the crumbling earth that had held them for hours, that had nearly buried them alive, that had taken the strongest person Caitlyn knows and forced her to bow under its weight.

Once they are far enough from their would-be tomb, the makeshift lever that had been used to lift the earth from Vi's shoulders is released and the tons of rock and dirt and ore collapse into the hollow where Caitlyn and Vi had just been standing.

As the dust begins to settle, Caitlyn lowers Vi to the ground as gently as she can, even though her own legs are still shaking with adrenaline and bone-deep fear. Frantically, she presses her fingers to her partner's throat, because she has to still be alive, she can't have survived that long just to --

Vi's pulse thrums against her fingertips and Caitlyn goes dizzy with relief. The surrounding noise goes muffled and the lights blur and streak as tears fill her eyes again. They made it. They're alive.

They're alive.

There are both Wardens and members of the Fire Brigade swarming around them, but Caitlyn can't bring herself to care that they can see her openly weeping as she bends over to press a kiss into her partner's sweat-drenched hair.

Vi stirs in her arms and makes a faint noise of pain, and her eyes slowly flutter open. For a moment, her gaze wanders blindly, but then her eyes roll back in her skull once again.

"Vi?!" Caitlyn says, high and frantic. "Vi, wait, stay with me --"

Vi chokes out another little noise of pain and then whimpers, "...C't?"

"I'm right here, Vi," Caitlyn whispers, cupping her partner's jaw in her hand. "I'm right here. Try to stay awake."

Vi's eyes roll again, glassy and sightless. "Hurts."

Caitlyn sobs. "I know. I know, but I need you to try. Please." She leans forward to press another kiss to Vi's forehead, still overwarm and sweat-sticky. "Please, stay awake."

Vi whines so softly that Caitlyn's not sure if she's imagined it but, with visible effort, she twitches her fingers. Caitlyn grabs her hand and doesn't let go, even as the medics swarm them and load Vi onto a stretcher to take her back Topside.

 

-:-:-:-:-:-

 

The first few hours are terrifying, to the point where Caitlyn only stops her anxious pacing around the hospital to occassionally duck into the nearest washroom and vomit into the sink. She's certain her father would be trying to get her to stop, if not for his insistence on monitoring Vi while the more specialized doctors examine her extensive injuries.

Finally, a nurse comes to find her and leads her back to her partner's room.

The moment Caitlyn steps through the doorway, her father drags her into a hug and she can't help but melt into it, even as she wants to demand to know what's happening, how bad is it, will Vi be able to recover or will she be in constant pain for the rest of her life --

"It's bad, but not as much as we thought," her father murmurs into her shoulder as he holds her close. "She's got hairline fractures through her entire skeleton, and some of her joints are... they're in bad shape. Her right knee --" He sighs. "But with care and proper rest, they're hopeful that she'll make a nearly full recovery."

Caitlyn's knees go weak; her father steadies her before leading her to a chair beside the hospital bed and lowering her into it.

Vi looks strangely small, pale even against the white sheets. Even asleep - unconscious, her mind supplies bitterly - she looks uncomfortable. There's a slight furrow between her brows, a tightness around her eyes, a slight clench in her jaw.

"Did they give her something for the pain?" Caitlyn whispers.

Her father nods, looking solemn and uncharacteristically tense. "They've got her on a moderate dose. They didn't want to risk complications."

There's something bitter in his tone that makes Caitlyn think there's more to it than that, but Caitlyn doesn't ask. He'll tell her later if it's important.

Her father sighs, and it's a heavy, exhausted sound. "There's not much more that they can do for her here. Most of her injuries just need time. I'm going to request that they let us take her home. She'll be more comfortable there, and I can care for her better than they will here."

There's that bitterness again. Caitlyn drags her gaze away from her partner's pale face and looks at her father. "Papa?"

He seems almost startled, but recovers quickly and turns to her with a forced smile. "It's nothing, dear one."

It's not, but Caitlyn doesn't want to push right now. If her father can get Vi back to the manor, she's more than willing to overlook whatever has him so upset. At least for now.

"Caitlyn," he says with a soft, regretful sigh. "I'm sorry to ask this right now, but I need to know what happened."

Caitlyn swallows hard. "We were searching the mines, and there was a collapse. She - The gauntlets --" She pauses, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath to steady herself. "Vi held it up. I don't know how she did it, but there was an air pocket and she held the roof of it up while we wired a beacon to call for help."

There are tears burning at her eyes again, but if she stops talking now, she'll never start again. So she keeps going. "Papa, it was killing her. She was - she was in so much pain, I thought - I didn't think she'd be able to hold it." Her breath hitches. "I really thought we were all going to die in there."

Something like a sob escapes her and she brings a hand up to cover her mouth in a vain attempt to muffle it. Her father leans forward to place his hand on her shoulder, warm and steady and utterly undeserved.

"And I --" Caitlyn chokes. "I asked her to hold it anyway. Even - even though I thought - I told her to --"

She bites her words off before she can risk admitting that she practically ordered Vi to endure torture for hours for potentially nothing.

Her father's eyes are brimming with tears too. "Oh, sweetheart," he breathes. "It's alright. You're alright."

Caitlyn shakes her head and the tears spill over, hot and thick. "Vi isn't."

"She will be," he soothes, and she hopes to every higher power that he's not lying. "We'll take good care of her." He leans over and drops a kiss into her hair. "I promise."

 

-:-:-:-:-:-

 

They take Vi home.

Her father makes sure to keep her sedated during transportation, but she stirs awake not long after they get her settled in Caitlyn's room - Caitlyn had insisted, and her father had instantly agreed.

Vi groans, low and pained, as she peels her eyes open and blinks around the room. "C't?" she slurs softly.

"I'm here," Caitlyn reassures, clutching her partner's hand. "I'm right here, Vi."

With obvious effort and a deep wince of pain, Vi rolls her head to the side and meets Caitlyn's gaze. "Hi," she mumbles.

Caitlyn chokes out a teary laugh. "Hi." She brushes Vi's hair out of her face. "How are you feeling?"

"C'n see," Vi mumbles. When Caitlyn frowns in confusion, she says, "C'ldn't earlier."

That makes Caitlyn's chest tighten again and she makes a mental note to ask her father later if trauma can result in temporary blindness. But for now, she pushes it aside and gently presses, "Are you in a lot of pain? Can you - Can you feel your arms and legs?"

Vi frowns and her hand twitches in Caitlyn's. "Yeah." She shifts ever so slightly and winces, breath catching in her throat. "M' back hur's."

It hurts, Vi had whimpered.

And Caitlyn had told her to suffer it anyway.

"Yes," Caitlyn manages, even as tears well up in her eyes and guilt wells up in her chest. "Yes, I'd imagine it does." She reaches for the IV bag and adjusts the valve to up the painkillers the way her father had showed her.

Vi relaxes almost immediately. "Tired," she murmurs.

"Of course. Your body is trying to heal." Caitlyn leans over to kiss her partner's forehead and Vi hums softly. "Rest," Caitlyn whispers against her skin, cool and dry and not overwarm from exertion and drenched in sweat she couldn't afford to lose.

"Don' leave?" Vi breathes as her eyes drift closed.

Caitlyn presses another kiss to her forehead. "Never."

 

-:-:-:-:-:-

 

The sheer exhaustion keeps Caitlyn asleep late into the morning. When she does wake up, she spends almost half an hour in bed, just watching her partner sleep. Vi's face is finally peaceful, not drawn in pain as it was yesterday evening, not sweat-drenched and twisted in agony as it had been yesterday afternoon.

Twice, Caitlyn reaches out to touch Vi, just to reassure herself that she's here and alive and real. But each time, she draws her hand back. There's no reason to risk waking her partner just so Caitlyn can feel comfort that she doesn't entirely deserve.

So eventually, she rolls out of bed and pads downstairs.

Her father is seated at the dining table, a half-finished tray of tea and sandwiches in front of him and a newspaper in his hands.

Caitlyn clears her throat so she won't startle him, and her father lowers the paper.

"Caitlyn!" he says, and he sounds pleasantly surprised to see her. "I wasn't sure when you'd be up."

She manages a weak smile. "I overslept."

Her father sets the paper aside and gestures to the chair across from himself. As she moves to sit, he pours another cup of tea, drops two sugars into it, and pushes it toward her, while saying, "Completely understandable. How is Vi?"

Caitlyn swallows hard. "She's still asleep. She looks --" She looks down at her tea, swirling the spoon through it. "She looks a lot better."

Her father hums. "Good. I'm going to be keeping her on a very strict dosage of painkillers over the next few days."

Caitlyn looks up. "Why?"

He sighs. "Obviously, I don't want her to be in pain, but... I think she'd prefer to not be kept sedated throughout her recovery."

There's a long moment of quiet, and all Caitlyn can think about is the way Vi had drifted in and out of awareness during the hours trapped beneath the ground, the way she had struggled to even just open her eyes every time Caitlyn had reached out to her, the way her eyes had rolled back in her head every time Caitlyn had let go. Pinned down, unable to move but still able to hurt, trapped inside her own failing body.

"Yes," Caitlyn manages around the lump in her throat. "She would hate being drugged like that."

She takes a sip of her tea; it's not hot, but it still warms her enough that she can finally gather the courage to quietly ask, "How bad is it really?"

Her father looks at her with soft understanding in his eyes. "The fractures will heal given time. The important thing is keeping them from being strained while she recovers. She'll have to wear a back brace to keep herself from exacerbating the injuries to her spine, but thankfully, most compression fractures only take a few months to heal."

Caitlyn feels almost lightheaded with relief. She sets her tea back down with trembling hands, and the cup rattles against the saucer before she can make herself let go of it.

"So," she manages, voice choked. "So, she's going to be okay?"

Her father hesitates, eyes drifting away from hers, and Caitlyn's stomach drops.

"Her knee," he says quietly, "is badly broken. I made certain that everything possible was done to properly set it. But the damage was severe."

He sighs and then drags his gaze back up to hers, and Caitlyn stares at him, unable to move, to speak, to breathe.

"It's not unlikely that she'll need a brace for that knee for the rest of her life." He holds up his hands in placation, and Caitlyn wonders what she must look like to draw that kind of reaction. "It may not even affect her mobility that much."

That much. Is this what Vi has been doomed to? A damaged leg that might keep her grounded for the rest of her life? A constant reminder of a slow and agonizing torture? A sacrifice that she should never have had to make?

A sacrifice that Caitlyn had asked her to make.

"I need you to hold on," she had said, even as Vi had gasped for breath and trembled beneath her burden and whimpered, "It hurts."

Caitlyn drags her mind back to the present. "...Will it hurt?" she asks, and her voice is a small, trembling thing.

"Oh, sweetheart," her father murmurs, reaching across the table to lay his hand over hers. "It will likely be like any other old injury - she'll feel it when there's a pressure change or a temperature shift. But she will not be in constant pain, I promise."

The rush of relief collides with the guilt sloshing around in her ribcage with enough force to make her chest ache, and Caitlyn drops her head into her hands and weeps.

 

-:-:-:-:-:-

 

She returns to her room not long after, carrying a glass of iced water, a bottle of basic painkillers for her own growing headache, and the strange swirl of guilt-relief-anxiety that's been overwhelming her all morning.

She quietly slips into the bedroom and bumps the door closed behind her with her hip. As it clicks shut, Caitlyn makes her way to the bed, setting the glass of water on the side table. She means to do the same with the painkillers, but her hand slips and the glass bottle hits the floor, pills rattling loudly in the quiet.

Caitlyn winces as she bends down to pick them up.

"Are those for me?"

Caitlyn snaps upright and her gaze meets Vi's.

Her partner is watching her, eyes like the blue-grey sky after a storm. She looks exhausted, but she's awake and alert and alive.

Caitlyn can't help the tiny choked noise that escapes her. "Vi."

Vi grins, soft and tired, and says, "Hey, Cupcake."

Caitlyn drops to sit on the bed, swinging her legs up to sit cross-legged beside her partner. There's a sudden, frantic need to touch Vi, but she holds herself back. "How are you feeling?"

Vi doesn't move but something about her makes Caitlyn suspect she would be shrugging if she could. "Been better."

She's used to Vi down-playing injuries, but honestly. "Violet."

Vi huffs, and it sounds almost amused, like she didn't almost die yesterday. Like Caitlyn didn't just stand there and watch.

"Sore," Vi admits. "But honestly, not as bad as I thought."

Caitlyn nods. "My father mentioned keeping you on a lower dosage of painkillers so you'd be able to stay awake." Unable to resist anymore, she reaches out and gently brushes Vi's hair out of her face. "The tradeoff is that you'll still be... uncomfortable."

Vi closes her eyes as Caitlyn's fingertips graze her temple. "I'll take uncomfortable over unconscious any day."

Caitlyn manages a weak smile, even though Vi can't see it. "I thought as much."

There's a short stretch of quiet as Caitlyn lets herself gently run her fingers through her partner's hair, combing out the clumps made by sweat and dirt.

Then, without opening her eyes, Vi quietly says, "Did the others --?"

And oh, her beloved partner, who pretends to be selfish to cover up how deeply she cares. Heart aching, Caitlyn says, "They're fine. Tallow's ankle was broken in the initial collapse, but they're both okay."

Vi nods ever so slightly and then opens her eyes to look at Caitlyn. "Are you okay?

"I'm not hurt," Caitlyn manages, but the rasp in her voice must betray her because Vi gives her a knowing look.

"But you're not okay."

Caitlyn huffs softly. Tears prickle at her eyes but she blinks them back; this isn't about her, this is about Vi and what she went through. "I'm just... I'm worried about you."

Something flickers in Vi's eyes, a sort of fear behind her knowing concern. She swallows hard and then quietly says, "How bad is it?"

Caitlyn goes still and has to force herself to resume combing her fingers through Vi's hair. "My father says most of your injuries are... hairline fractures? They should heal in a few months, as long as they're not, you know..."

"Made worse?"

Caitlyn nods and Vi sighs, gaze skittering away to look around the bedroom. Just another prison, Caitlyn thinks bitterly. Another place where her parther is trapped and unable to move without pain.

After a long moment, Vi looks at Caitlyn again. "You said 'most.'"

Caitlyn licks her lips nervously. "...Your knee is - My father isn't sure how well it will heal. He thinks --" She stops and swallows against the lump in her throat, but her next words still come out choked. "You might have to wear a brace for the rest of your life."

Vi closes her eyes and something in her face twists before she can force her expression smooth again. She takes a few careful, measured breaths and then opens her eyes again, staring off into the middle distance. "But everything else should --?"

"Yes," Caitlyn reassures, even though it feels as hollow as her own insides. "Everything else should heal completely."

Vi nods slightly, still not looking at Caitlyn, and Caitlyn wants to say something else, to promise her partner that they'll make it work, to reassure her that it won't change anything. But she asked Vi for this. She insisted that Vi sacrifice her body to save them all, and she was no right now to ask that Vi forgive that, that Vi just move past it, that they try to just go back to the way things were.

"Cait?" Vi asks, and when Caitlyn forces herself to meet her partner's gaze, all she can see is gentle concern that she absolutely doesn't deserve.

"Sorry," Caitlyn says, and her voice is hoarse. She clears her throat and Vi narrows her eyes slightly. "I was just --"

"What's wrong?"

Caitlyn forces a smile. "It's nothing. Are you hungry?"

Vi narrows her eyes again. For a long moment, Caitlyn is certain that she's going to force the issue. But then Vi slowly nods and says, "...I could eat."

"Great," Caitlyn says, and it sounds false even to her own ears. But she presses on anyway, ignoring the suspicion in her partner's eyes. "I'll go get you something."

And she slips out of the room before Vi can say anything else.

 

-:-:-:-:-:-

 

Caitlyn is the one to have nightmares.

She's not sure if it's because Vi is on painkillers or simply too exhausted by healing to dream, but it makes Caitlyn feel irrationally guilty. She's not the one whose body was broken by thousands of pounds of collapsing earth, who spent hours in agony without even knowing if it would be worth it, who slowly suffered while the rest of them helplessly watched and did nothing.

But Caitlyn still wakes up in a cold sweat more often than she doesn't.

Every time she wakes up in a violent panic, Vi is by her side. Her partner is bound in a stiff back-brace to keep her from moving too much in her sleep, but she still grabs for Caitlyn's hand and whispers reassurances until Caitlyn can get her breathing back under control.

She doesn't tell Vi what the nightmares are about, that they all prominently feature Vi slowly dying in excruciating pain while Caitlyn orders her not to let the suffering end. Vi has enough to deal with, without having to endlessly comfort Caitlyn.

She doesn't want to admit it to her father either, so she doesn't ask him for anything to help her sleep. Instead, she just tries to power through it. Vi might be on medical leave, but Caitlyn can find plenty to do to keep her mind occupied. It should be easy to work herself until she's too tired to dream.

But the nightmares still come.

They get worse and worse. The images are sharper, more life-like. Vi's cries of pain are louder. Help comes too late. Help doesn't come at all.

The worst one comes on a cold, moonless night a few weeks after the initial collapse.

The earth slamming down on top of Vi's shoulders.

Vi gasping for breath as the air goes stagnant.

The lights going out and the beacon failing.

Vi whimpering in pain as the stone bears down on her.

Dust and bits of rubble falling around them.

Vi sobbing as she slowly bends under the weight.

The crack of bones breaking and the choked off cries of agony that follow.

Vi begging Caitlyn to please, please, just let her die.

Vi's breathing stuttering to a halt as the light leaves her eyes.

Vi's body slowly decomposing in front of her, all hollow eye sockets and dripping fluids and rotting flesh.

And the whole time, Caitlyn can't move. Can't speak. Can't look away. Can't even die.

She wakes up with just enough time to lurch to the side and vomit onto the floor instead of the bed.

"Caitlyn?!"

The sound of Vi's voice, alive and not choking on agony, hits Caitlyn like a physical blow. Her shaking arms give out and she collapses to the mattress, trembling and gasping for breath.

"Caitlyn, answer me," Vi says, sounding absolutely terrified.

"Sorry," Caitlyn says hoarsely, panting around the foul taste lingering in her mouth. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Fuck that." Vi's voice is still pitched up with panic. "What's going on?"

"Just..." Caitlyn swallows down bile and it burns her throat. "Just a nightmare."

"I don't believe you," Vi says, forcefully enough that Caitlyn flinches.

This is not a conversation Caitlyn wants to have right now. "I need to clean up," she says, and immediately feels guilty for taking advantage of Vi's inability to follow her as she slips off the bed and into the bathroom.

She rinses the acid from her mouth and brushes her teeth before grabbing some cloths to clean up the floor beside the bed. As she wipes down the hardwood, she can hear Vi's breathing, not soft and slow enough for her partner to have fallen back asleep.

Shit. Vi's going to force the issue.

Sure enough, as soon as Caitlyn slips back under the covers, Vi says, "Caitlyn, this has been happening for weeks. It's not just nightmares, what is going on?"

Caitlyn rolls back over to face her partner. Vi's eyes are wide, her face pale. She looks seconds from dragging herself across the bed to Caitlyn's side, fractured spine be damned.

Caitlyn crawls to her instead. As soon as she's within reach, Vi's hand curls around her wrist and clutches with a desperation that makes guilt well up in Caitlyn's chest like tar, thick and black and sticky.

"I'm sorry," she whispers as she settles next to her partner.

Vi shakes her head. "Don't be sorry, just tell me what's wrong."

"It's --" Caitlyn sucks in a trembling breath. "It isn't --"

"Caitlyn," Vi says desperately, "Please."

It's the same desperation Caitlyn hears in her nightmares, when Vi begs Caitlyn to let her give up. It's the same she heard in the air pocket, when Vi pleaded for Caitlyn not to leave her. It had been a knife to the chest then, and it is a wound that aches even now.

It's one of the cruelest things Caitlyn has ever done, to listen to her partner's desperate pleas and then refuse to grant her relief, to look at Vi's blinding agony and then refuse to let it end, to watch the love of her life slowly buckling under what must have been thousands of pounds of earth, to be right there and yet completely and utterly unable to ease her pain.

Caitlyn drops her forehead onto Vi's shoulder, closes her eyes, and tries to get her ragged breathing to slow down. She shifts her hand in Vi's until her fingers are pressed against the vein inside her wrist, where the pulse thrums, strong and steady and alive.

"...Oh," Vi breathes.

"Every night, I'm back down there," Caitlyn whispers against her partner's skin. "Every night, I just stand there and watch while you --" She can't finish that sentence, so she swallows hard and says, "And I do nothing, except tell you to -- to endure it."

"What could you have done?" Vi says, soft and desperate. "Cait, there was nothing else you could've done."

"I don't know," Caitlyn says. "Something. Anything. Instead of ordering you to keep suffering. Instead of just watching you slowly die."

"Caitlyn," Vi says helplessly. "Cait, I'm right here. I'm --"

"If you say 'fine,'" Caitlyn warns, blinking back hot tears, "I'll --"

"I'm alive," Vi interrupts firmly, twisting her hand to grip Caitlyn's so tight that it almost hurts. "I'm alive, and I'm right here."

Caitlyn pushes herself up so she can look down at her partner. Meeting Vi's gaze, she says, "It almost killed you, Vi. I don't think you realize how close it was."

Vi's eyes are like steel, cool and unyielding. "I know exactly how close it was. And I'd do the exact same thing again." She squeezes Caitlyn's wrist. "You hear me? I'd fucking do it again."

Caitlyn thinks of Vi whimpering in agony, Vi wheezing for breath, Vi begging for Caitlyn not to abandon her, and she wants to scream. "Why?" she demands. "How could you be so willing to suffer --"

"Because it was either pain and a chance at some kind of future, or neither. It's not like it was a hard choice."

Caitlyn's breath catches.

Vi sighs and her expression goes unbearably soft. "Cait... It wasn't about the pain. It wasn't about you telling me to hold on. It was about you and me and that maybe we could make it." She takes a deep breath, shifting her hand and then beginning to gently rub her thumb along the soft skin of Caitlyn's inner wrist. Caitlyn shivers at the touch. "I held it for as long as I did because I wanted us to live."

"And I'd take that pain a thousand times over if it meant we even just had a chance," Vi says. Her eyes are the soft grey of rain as she looks up at Caitlyn and breathes, "Don't you know that?"

Caitlyn surges forward to kiss her.

She braces one hand against the mattress and slides the other up to cup her partner's jaw. At the same time, Vi's hand comes up to cradle the back of Caitlyn's head, fingers twisting in her hair just enough to pull.

Caitlyn deepens the kiss, catching her partner's lower lip between her teeth, and Vi moans softly against her mouth.

Caitlyn lets go of Vi's jaw and slips her hand under her shirt instead, running her fingers up her partner's side, feeling the edges of her ribs beneath soft skin. When Vi shivers at the touch, Caitlyn cups her breast, thumb gently brushing over the sensitive nipple. Vi arches up against her --

And cries out in pain.

Caitlyn lurches backward, run through with horror. "Shit," she gasps. "I'm sorry, I - I'm so sorry, Vi --"

Vi groans as she slumps back to the bed, biting her lip in a clear attempt to keep quiet, eyes squeezed shut as she tries to catch her breath.

"Sorry," Caitlyn says again, "I didn't think about that happening, I shouldn't have --"

Vi is panting, but she still fumbles to wrap her hand around the arm Caitlyn still has braced against the mattress. Caitlyn shifts her weight and rotates her wrist so that Vi can intertwine their fingers. Her face is still drawn with pain, but Vi grits out, "Can't really blame you for that one, Cupcake."

The guilt still sits in her chest, something slimy and dark that seems to slowly trickle down into her gut. "Vi..."

"Cait," Vi pants, peeling her eyes open and shooting Caitlyn a look of fond exasperation, "if we stop getting handsy every time I'm hurt, we're both going to be very unsatisfied people."

Caitlyn can't help her soft huff of laughter, even as her eyes burn with the beginnings of tears. "Maybe you should stop getting hurt so often."

Vi makes a noise that is mostly amused, though there's still discomfort Iurking beneath it. "Sure, next time I'll let the collapsing mine squish us." She shifts a little and winces again. "Help me out here?"

Caitlyn shakes her head fondly before slipping out of bed and padding around to Vi's side. As gently as she can, she takes her partner by the hips and helps her straighten her spine out, only letting go when she feels Vi begin to relax under her hands.

When Caitlyn turns away and begins heading for the bedroom door, Vi quietly asks, "Where're you going?"

She turns back. "To get you some water and painkillers. I won't be long."

Vi hums. "Get something to help you sleep too. Please."

Caitlyn huffs, but her feigned annoyance is smothered by soft affection. "Alright."

When she returns with the medications and a glass of water, Vi's eyes are closed and, for a moment, Caitlyn thinks she might have drifted off. But then one of the old wooden floorboards creaks lightly beneath her feet, and Vi stirs, rolling her head to face the doorway.

"I thought you were asleep," Caitlyn says softly.

"Mmm, not yet." Vi yawns. "Just waiting for you to come back."

Caitlyn moves to her partner's side and very carefully sits her upright so she can drink. It's awkward and uncomfortable and probably a little painful if the tension in Vi's shoulders is anything to go by, but they make it work. Once the pills are down, Caitlyn eases Vi back down to the mattress and then leans over to press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Love you," Caitlyn whispers.

Even in the darkness, she can see Vi's smile, small but unbearably fond. "Love you too, Cupcake. Now take your sleeping pills."

Caitlyn huffs a soft laugh. "Yes, ma'am."

She downs a half-dose - enough to help her get to sleep, but not so much that she'll have trouble waking up if Vi needs anything - and crawls back under the covers, shuffling over until she's pressed up against her partner's side.

Vi tilts her head so her cheek rests against Caitlyn's hair and begins to hum, and Caitlyn drifts off to the sound of her partner's voice slowly working its way through the sweet notes of a familiar melody.

She doesn't dream.

 

Notes:

Anyone want to guess why Tobias was so upset at the hospital?

Not gonna lie, I've got some partially done stories for Whumptober that I've been neglecting because I'm trying to work on a multi-chap that I'm VERY excited about. But next week's story (23 - Public Display) is done, and I'm very happy with it and very excited to post it.

Notes:

Follow me on my tumblr if you want. I post writing stuff, ramble about ideas, and plan to do a little extra commentary there so my author's notes aren't too long.

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Thanks for reading!

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