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60 AG
Iroh had only one wish: for his five-year-old brother to stop restlessly tugging at his leg and go back to bed. Suddenly, an idea came to him. Why not, if it would keep him quiet at night?
Thus, the Flying Spaghetti Monster was born. It was the story of a ruthless monster that would catch children who got out of bed at night without their elders knowing and turn their limbs into flat, wobbly spaghetti, forcing them to serve meatballs and tea forever.
The Spaghetti Monster had excellent vision and hearing. If you tried to get out of bed when it turned its back, it could even hear your feet leaving the floor. It could hear your heartbeat, detect the faintest rustle, and slide its long, flat arms under your door to unlock it. And then, you would forever be part of its spaghetti body, cooking meatballs for eternity.
Ozai was terrified by this image that crept into even the darkest corners of his five-year-old mind, and he began to sob uncontrollably. The fear made him cling even tighter to Iroh, and the time had come to offer a glimmer of hope for escape.
Although the Flying Spaghetti Monster had superhuman abilities, it wasn’t flawless. There were a few ways to escape or hide from it. But most importantly, the monster was known for its kindness to children who slept quietly in their beds throughout the night, as long as they didn’t get out of bed."
Older brother Iroh had encountered the Spaghetti Monster multiple times to ensure his little brother's safety, and he had managed to defeat it. When the Spaghetti Monster realized it couldn’t win, it agreed to strike a deal with Iroh for Ozai’s safety. And here were the Spaghetti’s terms:
- If they ran to their brother’s room in fear of the shadows of their belongings, the Spaghetti Monster would get angry.
- If they needed water, the room attendants were armed against the monster, and they could ask them.
- At sunrise, the monster would disappear. Once the danger had passed, they could get out of bed. As long as Prince Ozai didn’t leave his bed between 9:00 p.m. and 5:00 a.m
- The Spaghetti preferred that Prince Ozai sleep during this time. The other people in the palace were defenseless against the monster’s wrath, and it didn’t enjoy hunting while Ozai was awake. So, as soon as Ozai got into bed, he had to close his eyes and sleep.
- The Flying Spaghetti Monster would sleep during the day. However, the most effective way to calm it was jasmine tea with ginseng leaves. If Ozai brewed a pot every afternoon and brought it to Iroh’s room, Iroh had agreed to risk waking the monster to offer the tea as a sacrifice for his little brother.
Ozai clung to his brother, crying, and thanked him repeatedly for his sacrifice.
67 AG.
When Iroh found his five-year-old son Lu Ten staring at the door in hiccupping sobs, he didn’t quite know what to think.
His little boy was reluctant to open up to his father and explain why he was crying. Despite being only five, he was quite a proud child, much like his uncle.
This thought made Iroh involuntarily suspect that whatever had put Lu Ten in such a traumatic state must have been Ozai’s doing. He and Lu Ten were very close, and they definitely didn’t have the kind of respectful relationship an uncle and nephew should have. They were more like... two brothers who enjoyed getting under each other’s skin.
And it seemed that this time, Ozai had scored.
After a bit of coaxing, Lu Ten finally decided to reveal what had scared him so much.
‘The monster...’ his little son stammered. ‘The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Dad. Zai zai swears he encountered it. He fought it for me and made a deal to spare my life in exchange for following some rules. And if I don’t bring it tea three times a week, it’ll turn me into spaghetti and eat me, just like the little prince Kuzon who used to live in this palace.’ Lu Ten let out a pitiful sob.
Iroh sighed deeply.
‘Well, I should have seen this coming.’"
88 AG.
Fire Prince Ozai was returning to the Eastern Wing after a late-night meeting.
He had spent the entire night in a heated argument with the Ministers about how to fund his father's new offensive in the Earth Kingdom, and now, all he wanted was to collapse into his bed.
The last thing he expected to hear as he approached his children's rooms were muffled sobs. He frowned—had something happened to one of the children? Were they sick? Assassins?
Ozai quickened his pace, rounding the corner and nearly bumping into Ursa.
‘Did you hear that?’ she asked, her eyes wide with worry.
‘Impossible not to.’ Ozai muttered in displeasure, trying to suppress his growing fear. ‘Let’s see what’s going on.’
The sobs grew louder as they reached Zuko’s room, situated directly across from Azula’s. Zuko’s room seemed to be the source of the louder cries.
Ursa’s eyes were already brimming with tears as Ozai, preparing himself for whatever awaited, opened the door. Ursa had her hand inside her robe, gripping a dagger.
Their hearts jumped into their throats at the terrified scream of their two children.
‘Monster!’
‘For Agni’s sake!?!’ Ozai let out a roar. ‘What happened to you!?!’
Ursa rushed to the sobbing children, casting a desperate glance at Ozai, who stood frozen at the door.
‘Something or someone must have frightened them.’ she said, her eyes drifting to the blue flames flickering in her husband’s clenched fists. ‘Let’s all calm down for a moment, and now, tell us what happened. Zuko?’
Zuko responded with a pitiful hiccup, but it seemed he wouldn’t be able to speak anytime soon. Ozai walked over to Azula, scooping his little girl into his arms.
‘Will one of you tell me something?’ He was surprised by how gentle his voice sounded.
‘The monster,’ Azula sobbed, catching her breath. ‘Cousin Lu Ten told us everything. There’s a monster living in this palace.’
Ozai and Ursa exchanged a glance.
‘Does this monster have a name?’ Ursa asked, her voice tinged with suspicion.
“Let’s hope it’s not Azulon.” Ozai murmured. Ursa shot him a look that suppressed her smile.
A few moments of deep silence followed. Both children, with tear-filled eyes, first looked at the door, then at their parents.
‘The Flying Spaghetti Monster,’ Zuko finally said, letting out a deep sigh. ‘Cousin Lu Lu told us the rules. La La wasn’t supposed to get out of bed, but she was scared and wanted to come to me. And we thought…’
‘Because I broke the rules,’ Azula added in a pitiful voice.
What broke the tense atmosphere and shattered the children’s traumatic moods was the sound of Ozai’s booming laughter.
119 AG.
‘What’s going on, Izumi?’ her mother asked, approaching her trembling five-year-old daughter and stroking her hair. The little princess was looking at the door of her room in fear, tightly gripping one of her small, blunt knives. Mai recognized it; it was one of her own.
‘What are you doing with that?’ she asked with a weary tone.
‘I’m getting ready to fight the monster. A real princess does that.’
‘Which monster?’ Mai raised an eyebrow, starting to become intrigued.
‘The Flying Spaghetti Monster,’ the girl replied with all seriousness. ‘I deliberately left my bed tonight. I was waiting to confront it. But it probably ran away when you showed up.’
‘Flying what?’ Mai thought this was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard, but it seemed serious to her little girl.
‘The Flying Spaghetti Monster.’ Izumi answered her mother once more. ‘It’s an ancient malevolent creature that haunts this palace. It captures children who get out of bed without permission at night and turns them into pasta. Then you have to cook meatballs for it forever.’
Mai let out a deep sigh.
‘Who told you this, Izumi?’
‘Auntie Azula,’ Izumi answered honestly. ‘From what I heard, she and my father once came face to face with the monster, but it ran away when the then Fire King Ozai and Grandmother Ursa showed up.’
‘What did Azula want in exchange for protecting you from the spaghetti monster?’ Mai knew her friend’s tendencies so well that she could have recited her daughter’s next sentence.
‘Tea brewed with ginseng leaves. It will be taken to Auntie and my father every afternoon.’
‘Your father?’
‘Yes. He says that over the years, the monster has gotten stronger. The last time, it managed to eat Fire King Ozai, and no one has seen him since. According to what my father said, after feeding on him, the monster became much stronger and more aggressive.’
‘What a hit,’ Mai thought.
‘That’s why it can now only be calmed with two pots of tea a day instead of one. And a few mochi on the side,’ Izumi added.
Mai sighed deeply. She would need to have a long talk with Zuko after leaving the room."
139 AG
Izumi took a deep breath, knowing what to expect when she heard the sobbing sounds coming from her son’s room.
‘Alright, tell me. Is it something with flying flat arms and like that?’
Iroh’s golden eyes, which had grown wide with fear, spoke volumes.