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Chapter Text

Colin Bridgerton lived a long and happy life. He had very few regrets, he regretted not encouraging his children or grandchildren to live close so he wouldn't die alone. He regretted his wife's passing, he knew it was just her time but he didn't want to live without her. But Colin's biggest regret was not seeing and love his wife Pen sooner, causing her pain and wasting precious time. 

As Colin lay alone in his deathbed struggling to breathe, looking at the space Penelope used to occupy, he wished he could be with his wife again. As his vision started to go black he prayed he could see her again. There was nothing. 

*Thud**splash*

Colin could suddenly hear a lot of sounds around him but couldn't quite understand what they were and he also felt very cold but he couldn't see. He reached his hands up to his face and felt fabric over his eyes. Once he removed the object and looked he saw yellow. As Colin held it he realized it was a yellow bonnet and when he looked down at himself he saw he was covered in mud. Of course he was shocked and couldn't believe or understand what was happening until he heard her voice, it was a lot younger but  unmistakably her voice. Colin looked up and he saw eyes the colour of the Grecian sky and hair like the sunset over Aubrey Hall in autumn. She was looking far younger but his heart still beat for her. She was saying something Colin believes she was apologizing but he can't hear a word being said.

Colin: uh....Hi......I'm Colin....

Pen:oh.... Hello I'm Penelope....

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As Colin stands up he tries to remember the day he first met his wife but it was so long ago he only remembers little bits and pieces, like he was in a race with his brothers, Pens bonnet knocked him off his horse, he met Pen for the first time and they had just moved here.

Colin: Are you new to Mayfair?

Penelope: Um...Yes... We just arrived today.

Colin: I hope you are not too tired from your journey. 

Penelope: That is very kind of you to ask......I am well thank you. 

Colin: Where are you located?.... If you don't mind me inquiring. 

Penelope: Grosvenor square. 

Colin: How wonderful! we are to be neighbours then.

Penelope: We are?

Colin: Indeed I

PENELOPE ANNE FEATHERINGTON!!!

Ah here comes Portia Colin thought. He gave Penelope a quizzical look and she gave an apologetic one in return. As Penelopes mother stormed up to them followed by the rest of the fetheringtons as Colin was joined by the Bridgerton's.

Portia: Penelope you silly little girl what have you done!!

Penelope: Mama

Portia: I apologize for my foolish daughters actions and I will see to it that she is punished for it!

Colin: Punished?!

Anthony: Colin!

Colin:No Anthony! Excuse me Mrs Featherington?

Portia: Lady! It's Lady Featherington.

Colin: Pardon me, Lady Featherington you wish to punish miss Penelope because of a gust of wind?

Portia: A gust of wind?

Colin: Yes, you see my brothers and I were racing our horses here in the park and when my eldest brother Anthony here passed too close to your daughter, the speed caused a gust of wind to pull her bonnet off of her head and hitting me in the face so if anyone is at fault here for my fall it is my brother not miss Penelope.

Portia: Well...... I guess that is cleared up then. We must off.... Penelope! 

Penelope: Yes Mama. I guess I will see you again now that we are neighbours Mr. Bridgerton 

Colin: I will make sure of it.

Colin gave Penelope his best charming smile which Penelope seemed to be taken back by. Colin was pleased to see her look over her shoulder at him as she left. He stood for a few moments to watch Penelope walk away but when he turned he was met with a multitude of different looks from his family. His mother looked proud, Ant looked annoyed, Ben was amused, Daphne was shocked, El looked sick, Fran had a look of understanding, Greg looked grumpy and Hy looked confused. Colin knew he needed to get out of there before the questions started.

Colin: Mama I think I should like to go home and change out of these clothes

Violet: Of course my dear, we will be home soon

As Colin is walking towards the family carriage he begins to notice young ladies trying to get his attention and attempting to flirt with him, that's when he remembered he used to love to flirt with women and debutants alike but now just the idea of flirting with anyone that was not his wife made him feel sick. He gives the young ladies a curt nod and enters the carriage.

 Now he was bound to Penelope heart, body and soul for all eternity, he will not betray his vows even if he has yet to make them in this new life time, even if she is yet to know he belongs to her he refuses to betray her. If he is to flirt it will only be with his wife. It made his skin crawl to think he may have been flirting with those young ladies one hour ago before his mind came into his younger body. Colin hated this feeling like he has already betrayed Penelope.

As the carriage turns on to Grosvenor square Colin removes his coat and cravat. As the carriage pulls up to the side of Bridgerton house and stops Colin gets out and starts walking to the front door undoing the top three buttons as he walks. He hears someone call him and he turns to see who it is.

Penelope: Pardon me Mr.Bridgerton?

Colin: Oh Miss Penelope how nice to see you again so soon.

Colin notices she is not looking at is face and she is getting a pretty blush on her cheeks and across her nose. Knowing exactly what this means Colin decides to be a little cheeky so he takes a small step into Penelopes space causing her to let out the cutest little gasp

Colin: What can I do for you miss Penelope?

Penelope: I just wanted to thank you.

Colin: Thank me?

Penelope: With my Mama, she can be....a lot.

Colin: Has no one stood up for you before?

Penelope: Well......

Colin: Penelope please look at me (he takes one of her hands in his) you have me now.....to stand up for you. (Letting go of her hand)And if you need my help with anything....anything at all please just ask alright

Penelope Thank you so much Mr. Bridgerton 

Colin: please call me Colin 

Penelope: Alright if you call me Penelope 

Colin: hmmm........... would it be possible if I got to call you Pen?

Penelope: Oh....I suppose that would be alright 

Colin: I'm sorry Pen am I being too forward?

Penelope had that pretty flustered look on her face that Colin liked but hadn't seen in such a long time. He couldn't help but smile.

Penelope: No!......not at all...calling me.....Pen....is perfectly fine.

Colin: Wonderful! But if you will please excuse me I must go change before I become ill

Penelope: oh yes of course! I'm so sorry for keeping you

Colin: Pen please you never have to apologize, especially when it means i get to spend time with you.

With that he give Penelope another charming smile and turns and walks into the house.

As his valet is undressing him and maids are getting a bath ready to keep off chill and illness. Colin has the most wonderful thought that not only can he give Penelope the courtship she deserves but he can also have the long courtship he had always felt was very romantic.

Colin: Dunwoody?

Dunwoody: Yes sir?

Colin: would you know by chance if there are any books in the house on the language of flowers? 

Dunwoody: Actually sir as a matter of fact I do know that book is in the parlour.

Colin: Could you get it for me?

Dunwoody: Of course sir

Colin: Dunwoody! Speak of this to no one?

Dunwoody: Again of course sir

Colin: And Dunwoody? Thank you 

Dunwoody gives Coling a small smile and leaves and Colin enters the bath. Once Colin's bath is complete he re-enters his bed chamber to find the book on his desk. Colin sits to quickly go through the book. He knows that Penelope will be debuting next season so he has all that time to quietly court her and when she makes her debut he can court her openly. maybe he can start with flowers, and have her join the Bridgerton dance lessons so he can dance with her. Later he can figure out ways for them to take walks in the park or have ices in Gunther's. He eventually decides he will send Penelope a small bouquet of red rose buds because according to the book it means pure and lovely. Colin doesn't want to overwhelm her so he thought he would send her flowers with different meaning once every two weeks starting next week. Another question he needed to ask himself was should he add a note to the flowers or be like a secret admirer.

 But the next thing he must do is speak to his mother and Anthony to seek the funds for these ongoing flowers. Colin says a quick prayer that this conversation goes well as he remembers he will be talking to Anthony the Rake not Anthony the loving father, madly in love with his wife.

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Once Colin was re-dressed and presentable he left his bed chamber and headed to Anthony's office. As he reached the door Colin paused for a moment but not wanting to let his nerves to get the better of him he knocked and entered without waiting for someone to answer. Upon entering he saw Anthony sitting behind the large dark mahogany desk, Benedict was sitting in the right hand chair infont of it but had it pulled more to the side so he was in a position to see more of the room. When Colin looked to the left there was his mother sitting on a small couch sewing with a cup of tea on a small table next to her.

Anthony: Colin?

Benedict: Brother!

Violet: Son!

Colin: Hello!..... Anthony? Could I talk to you about some funds?

Benedict: Well!... this conversation holds no interest to me so I shall take my leave. Mother, Brothers I shall see you at dinner.

Once Benedict has left the room Colin took Benedicts seat and there was a few moments of silence.

Colin: I suppose I should just jump right in with this then. I would like to discuss having some funds to send flowers to a young lady.

Anthony: have you already run out of your weekly funds? 

Colin: well it's just that I would like the flowers to be on going.

Anthony: On going?! How often do you intend on sending these flowers brother?

Colin: Nothing crazy Anthony I was thinking once a fortnight.

Anthony: And who do you intend to send these flowers to?

Colin: Penelope! The young lady we met at the park today.

Anthony: No!

Colin: What?

Anthony: Absolutely not!

Colin: Are you truly taking issue with me sending flowers?!

Anthony: I am taking issue with you wanting to send flowers to a girl you just met!

Colin: Is that not the norm?

Anthony: I refuse to acknowledge these foolish notions!

Colin: What foolish notions do you speak of brother?!

Anthony: You setting you wick at the first chit to give you doe eyes! That is the foolishness I speak of!

Colin: You believe me to be foolish for wanting to send flowers to a person I would like to get to know in hopes of something more in the future? Would you like to know what i believe to be foolish?..... You housing, feeding and clothing your WHORE ON YOUR FAMILY'S MONEY!

Anthony: I AM HEAD OF THIS HOUSE!

Colin: THEN ACT LIKE IT!

Anthony: I AM ACTING LIKE IT! BY STOPPED YOU FROM PURSUING A LITERAL CHILD! MY GOD COLIN WHAT AGE IS SHE TWO AND TEN? SHE IS STILL IN LEADING STRINGS!

Violet stands up and camley interjects.

Violet: That is quite enough.

Colin: sorry mama

Anthony: But mother!

Violet: What did I say?

Anthony: Sorry mother 

Violet: Now, I spoke to Miss Featherington after we got back from the park, she is a very sweet young lady, she wanted to apologize for the incident with her bonnet. I told her there was no need, but I did get her conversing about other things for example did you know she enjoys reading Colin? but more importantly I found out she is to turn six and ten at the end of this week. So not still in leading strings.

Anthony: She is still too young!

Violet: And what about your kept woman?

Anthony: What about her?

Violet: Make no mistake Anthony I know all about her and I know she is nine and ten. How long have you been seeing her? Three years? And you are much older than Colin. Your spending a lot of money to wet your wick are you not son? And one final thing for you to REALLY think about Anthony if she can be bought by you she IS being bought by others...... Colin?

Colin: Yes Mama?

Violet: What are your intentions with miss Featherington?

Colin: To be honest I was thinking I could get to know her and if she was interested we could enter into a long term private courtship. As long as we are both happy I thought that maybe when she made her debut we could enter into a proper courtship with the intent to wed.

Anthony: That is idiotic!

Colin: How?

Anthony: You are too green! she will be ruined and we will have to have a hasty wedding.

Colin: I know it will be difficult but I believe the wait will be worth it.

Anthony: Another foolish notion

Colin: I do not need your rakish opinions on this!

With that Colin stormed out of the room slamming the study door behind him.

Violet: He will have the funds to send Penelope flowers. 

Anthony: What?!

Violet: You heard me! and it will come out of family funds not his inheritance, same if he would like to get her gifts or! I will out that you are housing your whore in the house Colin is meant to be inheriting!

Anthony: Bu......I.............Of course mother.

Violet: Good. Oh and one final thing Penelope is making her debut next season with Daphne. So if all goes well and their courtship leads to marriage I want the house that was intended for Colin to be ready!

With that Violet left Anthony alone to his thoughts. Upon leaving the office she saw Benedict standing in the hallway with a smirk on his face.

Benedict: It seems I left a conversation I would have been very much interested in.

Violet:Oh hush you! Now come let us go have some tea.

Violet links her second born's arm as they walk leaving the hallway in silence. Sometime later Anthony emerged from the office in search of Colin, which was quickly discovered after inquiring with some staff members that he had been seen walking to his bed chamber looking melancholy as one had described it which did surprise him. 

Anthony:Colin May I speak with you?

Colin:If you must.

Anthony: Look I am granting you the funds to get Miss Featherington flowers and gifts on special occasions 

Colin: Did mother make you?

Anthony: Yes. But she was right.

Colin: Brother I must know something. Why do you feel as though if a man does not live as you do it is not the right way to live?

Anthony: I try to live a our father did

Colin: At what age?

Anthony: what do you mean?

Colin: I too try to live as our father did but as the man I knew him as. The loving father and devoted husband. What version of him are you trying to be?

Anthony stood there for a long time really thinking about what Colin had said.

Anthony: I guess the version he was before he had anyone that loved him.........the version before he could break anyone's hearts.

Colin: You know we love you don't you brother? Do you realize how easily you can break our hearts?

Anthony:Wh..?

Colin for some reason remembered something and was going to use this vulnerable moment to try and save his sister.

Colin: Take Daphne, her debut is next season if you were push her in the wrong direction towards someone like heaven forbid Lord Berbrooke she would be heartbroken.

Anthony: What is wrong with Lord Berbrooke?

Colin: Brother have you not heard? Apparently he forced himself on one of his maids, they are waiting to see if she is with child and if she is she is to be sent away.

Anthony: And what is she to get?

Colin: Nothing! He will be sending her away with his child to live off of nothing!

Anthony: Dear Lord!

Colin: Listen to me brother none of use like to see you like this. It truly rips our hearts out to see the pressure you are under. You were just eight and ten when you stepped into being a viscount when father died. You were too young to be in that role. You were not ready for it. Tell me brother what happens if you become too stressed and your heart gives out Benedict doesn't know very much about the role how long do you think he will last? Then what it gets passed to me? I am not the heir nor the spare brother. Please Anthony let You, Benedict and I share this responsibility. Please!

 Anthony walks over to Colin takes him by the shoulders and pulls him into a tight hug and starts to cry. Colin hugs his brother back and can't help but shed a few tears himself. Just as Colin was about to speak some comforting words there came a knock at the door and Benedict entered.

Benedict: Mother wa... What's wrong? Brother are you alright?

Colin: We will be helping with Anthony's work load 

Benedict: Great! when do we start?

Hearing his brothers willingness to help only made Anthony cry more.

Benedict: Anthony do you not what assistance? 

Anthony: I....do....I...am....just.....very....grateful....for.....you....and..... Colin's..... willingness......to...help......me.

Violet: who's crying I can hear them all the way.... Anthony!!! My dear what is wrong? what happened?

Colin:I told him how we are worried about him and that he is too stressed and I fear the viscountancy is going to kill him so Benedict and I are going to help

Violet: really? Oh that is wonderful! Thank you

Violet kisses Colin and Benedict on the cheek.

Violet: Now you two down to the dining hall and join the rest of the family for dinner. Go.

Once they are gone Violet links arms with Anthony and walks him to his bed chamber.

Violet: You my dearest are going to rest. I will have a tray sent up alright?

Anthony: Yes Mama 

Violet: Sweet dreams 

Violet gives Anthony a kiss on the cheek and leaves him to enter his bed chamber exhausted.

Chapter Text

Over the years Violet has become used to being the first of the family to wake but this morning as she entered the dining room she is pleasantly surprised to see her three eldest sons working.

Violet : Good morning my dears

Colin : Good morning Mama

Benedict : Morning mother

Anthony mmm...... morning

Colin: Sorry for this mama there was not enough room in the study

Violet : Not to worry. What are you working on?

Colin : Well I have taken over Daphne's debut we felt it was for the best.

Benedict : I am currently going over this month's household expenses and Anthony ...

Anthony looks at his mother with a deadpan expression and tension building in his shoulders

Anthony : Parliament

Colin : Anthony remember what we talked about we will work until breakfast

Benedict : Then we are to discuss the investments for a maximum of two hours then we are free to do as we please.

Everyone in the room could see Anthony's shoulders relax. Violet makes herself some tea and sits next to Colin.

Violet : So why have you chosen to do things this way ?

Benedict : With the three of us working on different things we get the work done faster but we also can do things on different days for example today I am doing the expenses on Bridgerton House but tomorrow I will be doing the expenses on Aubrey Hall.

Colin : And I will be writing letters to our tenants to inform them of an inspection at the end of the month.

Violet : I think this is wonderful... So Colin how is Daphne's debut planning going .

Colin : Well .. I am looking into suitors... Please do not worry Mama what I want for my sister is the same as you. I hope she finds herself a love match but I hope to keep her from evil.

Anthony : like Berbrooke!

Colin: like Berbrooke

Violet: Berbrooke?

Benedict : I will tell you later Mother

Just then other siblings could be heard working and moving about .

Violet : I must talk to cook about breakfast

Benedict : And we best put all this back in the
office

During breakfast Colin took the time to enjoy having his family of his youth back but he knew that there were so many missing and he looked forward to them joining one by one but Colin was going to need make sure the whole family got together more often. Colin couldn't help but think about all the things he felt he might have to change. He knew he wasn't to interfere with Daphne's courtship with the Duke only he had to help her stop the duel. But does he get Anthony to court Kate right off the bat? Does he stop Sophie from leaving the ball? Should he stop Phillip from marrying Marina so he can be with Eloise sooner? can he stop George Crane from leaving Marina before he marries her? Can he stop him leaving at all? Oliver and Amanda
should have a chance to be with their parents. Does he stop Fran from marrying John to save her from the heartbreak of his death and try to introduce her to Micheal first instead? He at some point might need to find a way to introduce Greg to Lucy long before that traitor Uncle marries her off,  because that situation was a mess. But he doesn't think he will touch Hyacinth's love story, it's just so perfectly her.
Just then Colin catches Eloise talking about the new family across the way

Eloise: and we will become best friends I am sure of it

Colin: Who?

Eloise: The girl across the way

Colin: Which one there is three I believe

Eloise: The one with the red hair

Colin: They all have red hair E!.....Is she your age?

Eloise: I believe so

Colin: That might be Penelope then. The one who's bonnet knocked me off my horse yesterday

Francesca: Are you alright brother? That was quite a fall you took

Colin: I am well Fran thank you the mud broke my fall, all I have is a bruised ego.
Once breakfast has ended Anthony and Benedict headed to the study, Daphne and Francesca left the room discussing music composition. Gregory and Hyacinth were getting scolded for throwing scrambled eggs at one another and Eloise was clearly trying to run off to call on Penelope.

Colin: El?! Can I speak to you for a moment?

Eloise: *humf*..... If you must!

Colin: I have spoken to Penelope myself yesterday she is a quiet person and you tend to snowball people in conversation.

Eloise: Excuse me?

Colin: Look El I want you to have a good friendship with Penelope

Eloise: So do I Colin! What is your point!

Colin: Listen to her when she talks I mean actually listen not just wait for your turn to speak and if she has a different opinion to you do not put her down for it try to see things from her point of view and attempt to explain things from yours.

Eloise: hmmm... Ok brother I will try

Benedict: COLIN! come on!

With that Colin headed to the study as planned and Eloise went to visit Penelope with Colins words swimming in her mind. Three hours later Colin was in the parlour talking with his brothers as to why he does not want to visit a pleasure house while their mother was at the other side of the room with Daphne teaching her some needle work while Francesca, Gregory and Hyacinth were busy in the school room. Just then Eloise burts into the room.

Eloise: Mama! Could a maid chaperone Penelope and I to the shops?
Violet: Oh.. um..

Colin: I could chaperone you. I have business I need to tend to anyway.

Violet: Oh that would be perfect!

Eloise: I don't know.....

Colin: why not?

Eloise: I am unsure it would be a good idea

Colin: Sister I swear I will keep an appropriate distance and I shall not listen to your conversations.

Eloise: Alright.... Be ready in fifteen minutes.

Colin: Very well I shall meet you at the front door.
Colin turns to his brothers laughing
Colin: This also gets me out of this horrible conversation!
Colin almost runs from the room as to not hear anymore comments from his brothers. Within nine minutes Colin is ready and waiting at the door. As he is waiting he starts to reminisce on the first few years after he and Penelope were married, they would visit shops and markets and Penelope had this thing where if she really loved something she would run her hand along it but she would not buy it. Colin believed it was either due to her family's money issues or she didn't want to seem ungrateful for what she already had. But Colin thought this might be a good opportunity to get Penelope something for her birthday and if he ends up buying r more then one thing he can always give her a gift another time.
Just as Colin finished his thought Eloise came up to him and they left for the Featheringtons house to get Penelope. Once they got to the door Colin stepped to the side as Eloise knocked. Colin was surprised to see it was Penelope herself that answered the door.

Penelope: was your mama able to spare a maid?

Eloise: No..... But she was able to spare a Colin.

Penelope: A what?
Colin stepped forward so she could see him.
Penelope: Colin!

Colin: Hello Pen

Eloise: Wait when you spoke of her to the family you called her Penelope but speaking to her you call her Pen?  Is that something we should discuss?

Colin: hmmm.... No I do not believe it is... Shall we go?
Colin walks to the carriage and stand by the open door holding out his hand to help Penelope and his sister inside. He helps his sister in first holding out his hand as he should. Then he goes to help Penelope into the carriage but when she takes his hand not only does he grasp it he also sweeps his thumb across the back of it, he only wishes she was not wearing gloves at this moment.

Penelope found herself excited to be making friends so quickly it was just a boon that her new friend happened to be the sister to the impossibly handsome Colin Bridgerton. Penelope was delighted to find that not only did Eloise went to spend three hours talking with her but wanted to take to that shops too. After Eloise left to ask her mama if she could spare a maid Penelope ran to her chamber to freshen up in case they happen to bump into Mr. Impossibly handsome himself. But much to her surprise there he was, at her door, to be chaperone for her and his sister to go to the shops. He then gave her a smile that sent butterflies through her stomach. Did it mean something or was he just being friendly Penelope could not tell. She tried not to think about it and followed Eloise and Colin to the carriage. When Colin took Penelopes hand to help her into the carriage the heat of his hand permeating through her glove was enough to make her blush but as he held her hand he also caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.

Penelope looked down at their joined hands then their eyes met in a moment that felt like it went on forever but yet did not last long enough. When Colin gave Penelope a warm smile it seemed to be filled with so much he wanted to say but Penelope knew she was mistaken, she knew it could not be possible. Once Penelope got situated in the carriage Colin got in after her and the carriage started on its way. After a bit of silence Colin chose to talk.

Colin: Our Mother told us she spoke with you yesterday Pen
Penelope: She did yes
Colin: She happened to mention your birthday is this week
Penelope: It is, on Friday
Colin: You must be looking forward to the celebration
Penelope: We do not celebrate birthdays in my family

Colin looked over to Eloise who was looking back and forth between Penelope and Colin.

Eloise: Your family do not celebrate birthdays!!.......Why??
Colin: El! I do not believe that would be any of our business
Eloise: hmmm.......what if you come to Bridgerton house for your birthday?
Colin: Oh maybe a nice little birthday lunch?
Eloise: Dinner! A birthday dinner!
Colin: El is that not too short notice?
Eloise: I do not believe so. Mama could put together the ball of the season in three days, why could she not put together a birthday dinner in the same time.
Colin: what do you think Pen?
Penelope Oh I could not ask you to do that
Eloise: But you are not asking we are.
Penelope: Alright but if she says no or she is busy or she simply does not want to please do not push her to do it
Colin: Do not worry yourself Pen our mother cannot be made to do something she does not want to do.

Upon reaching the shops colin got out of the carriage and held out his hand. This time he was the first out and once she took Colin's hand he gave her hand a quick squeeze and her a small smile. Once we're all out of the carriage this are that amongst the shops with a small market.

Colin: shall we start with the market stalls before moving on to the shops?
Eloise: I guess that might be best.........what do you think Penelope?
Penelope Yes that does sound like the smartest way to this would it not
Colin: Good glad we are all in agreement. Now I shall remain one stall away from you at all times so I will not interfere with your conversations.

Colin could not help but be happy to see that Penelope was disappointed that he would not be walking with them. But Colin had to get out of his thoughts because he needed to pay attention to the things she touched so he could buy them for her he was very surprised to see it wasn't that much at the stalls she had only liked a fan, a hair comb, a quill, ink and a parasol, and in the shops it was only four books. Once Colin had those bought he had someone deliver them to his room at Bridgerton house. Once he had the ladies situated with ices at Gunther's Colin excused himself and ran to the flower shop to put in an order.

Florist: Welcome
Colin: Good day. I would like to order flowers and have them sent on Friday under very strict instructions.
Florist: Alright. Well what kind of flowers would you like?
Colin: Well here is the issue we had our first meeting yesterday. I would like to convey feelings without coming off too strong.
Florist: I see and what are your feelings? Truthfully?
Colin: I am sure this will make me sound crazy but I believe we are soul mates.
Florist: You do not sould crazy. I could a small or medium sized bouquet of rosebuds and purple Phlox those together will say you are starting to believe you are fated. Would you like to attach a note?
Colin: No I think the flowers alone will be perfect. Could I get back you about their delivery?
Florist: Of course sir
Colin: Could you put this on the Bridgerton account
Florist: Absolutely sir.
Colin: I shall be back soon to order more. Have a good day.

When Colin gets back to gunther's he sees Eloise and penalty still eating their ices. After you get an ice tray from himself he walks up to them looking at Penelope.

Colin: I don't mean to intrude but may I join you or would you prefer I wait outside?
Eloise:Yo
Penelope: Of course you can join us! I mean if that is what you would like
Colin: Thank you Pen
Penelope: Did you get you business completed?
Colin:I did, yes
Eloise: What business was it?
Colin: Private!
Eloise: Alright! Maybe you should have waited outside.
Colin: Or maybe you shouldn't be asking personal questions El

Once the ices were eating the headed to the carriage. Like previous Eloise entered first as pronounced we walked up to enter the carriage she shyly looked at Colin only to see he was already looking at her causing her breath to hitch, she looked away but Colin squeezed her hand making her look back at him again and just by the look on his face in that moment she knew he was telling her he feels something too. Penelope stepped into the carriage she hopes she didn't misunderstand the meaning of that look then Colin chose to sit next to her while Eloise was busy looking out the window Penelope chanced a glance at Colin who was looking out the other window but he had his hand on the bench between them in that moment she decided to be foolish just one time. She decided to adjust herself on the bench and accidentally touch Colins hand. She could already feel the blush rising up in her cheeks and Colin looked at her. Then he smiled.... Penelope pulled her hand away.

Penelope: I apologize I did not mean..
Colin: You did not?
Penelope: Pardon?
Colin: You have no need to apologize Pen.

Penelope watches him as he turns back to look out the window but he now has a soft smile on his lips that makes her heart flutter. The rest of the carriage ride was taken in silence. Eloise too deep in thought for conversation. Penelope was jumping between praying that the looks and touches were not in her head and convincing yourself that they were in fact only in her mind, while Colin was enjoying being able to get Penelope flustered again by his touch it had been a very very long time since he saw that reaction. It was never like she did not enjoy his touch, she always did but the newness and excitement of it will always wear off so he wanted to enjoy it while trying to prolong that feeling as long as he can. Once the carriage stopped outside the feathering to the house Eloise not wanting to wait for help hopped out of the carriage as she fixed her dress Colin helps Penelope out your sooner were Penelope's feet touched the ground Eloise pulled into a hug

Eloise: Thank you for today but I must run and speak to our mama before any plans are made for this Friday. We shall speak soon.
With that Eloise ran off to Bridgerton house leaving Colin and Penelope.

Penelope: Thank you for being our chaperone today.
Colin: No need to thank me. I enjoyed it even if we did not get to speak.
Penelope: But... We are speaking now
Colin: Yes.... You are correct

Looking into her eyes Colin could feel he was getting lost in them. He was just starting to wonder if he ever wanted to be found when he heard someone clear their throat behind him breaking him from his gaze when he turned he saw foot man John fixing something on the horse not looking in his direction at all. Colin turned back to Penelope giving her his arm.

Colin: So Pen what do you think of Mayfair?
Penelope: From what I have seen it is lovely.
Colin: Out of curiosity what do you enjoying doing?
Colin of course knew all of this already. At this point he knew her better then she knew herself.

Penelope: Well I suppose

Before Penelope could answer Daphne came out of Bridgerton house and walked as fast as she could across the square to them.

Daphne: Hello brother. Miss Featherington I am so happy I caught you.
Penelope: oh please call me Penelope.
Daphne: And you must call me Daphne. But I wanted to invite you to my dance lesson this coming Monday.
Colin: Do you want someone else there besides Eloise?
Daphne: Yes but the instructor has band El for a month for lack of progress. I think he just really wants to give his feet a break.
Colin: Does Fran not want lessons?
Daphne: Mama said she has to be in the school room at that time. Would you like to join me Penelope?
Penelope: only if I am not intruding
Daphne: Perfect! The lesson starts at eleven in the ballroom. I shall see you there on Monday. Good day Penelope.
Penelope: Good day Daphne... Good day Colin.......
Colin: Good day Pen.

Colin didn't leave until the door to her house was closed as Colin and Daphne walked back to Bridgerton house they engage in idle chitchat right up until they got to the parlor where they heard Eloise talking to their mother about a birthday dinner for Penelope

Daphne: What's this?
Eloise: I was just asking if we could have Penelope over for a birthday dinner on Friday since her family will not be celebrating.
Daphne: would it not be best to have the whole family over for a dinner celebration?
Eloise: I do not think that would be best her family do not seem too kind to her.
Violet: I would very much like to mark Penelope's birthday but it might be best to claim it is a welcome to Mayfair dinner.

Getting to Friday seemed to take forever and no time at all Colin found out that Lady Featherington almost jumped at the invite. Colin was able to change the delivery of the flowers. He was now going to have them delivered during the dinner, he also decided to have all the gifts he bought for Penelope to be sent with them except for one of the books he bought her. He had remembered it had been one of her favorites and he wanted to gift it to her personally. The family wasted in the parlor for the feathering to arrive on Penelope and her family finally arrived she noted Colin and his two older brothers were by one of the windows discussing something. Violet was standing by the couch when they were announced into the room. After Violet invited them to sit her father went to converse with the Viscount while Colin and his brother stood by. Her mother and sisters sat with Violet and Penelope was taken to the other end of the room by Daphne Eloise and Francesca, while the two youngest ran around tormenting one another.

Francesca: Happy Birthday!
Daphne:Yes! Happy Birthday Penelope!
Eloise: Hey! You said it before I could get the chance! Happy Birthday!!!

Well Eloise pulled Penelope into a large hug Daphne started to speak to Francesca.

Daphne: oh Fran! I forgot to tell you I saw Colin in the florist at the beginning of the week
Francesca: Really?!
Daphne: would you like to know what flowers he was shown?
Eloise: No!
Francesca: Of course!
Daphne: The florist first held up a stem of red rose buds
Francesca: That means the beginnings of love does it not?
Daphne: It does. But! Then he added purple Phlox!
Francesca: Daphne you jest
Daphne: I do not!
Penelope: I apologise I am not versed in the language of flowers as I should what does that mean?
Daphne: it means our dear Colin is beginning to believe his found his fated love and plans to tell her with flowers.
Eloise: Would Colin even know what those flowers mean?
Francesca: Possibly not but the florist would.
Daphne: Yes and it appeared he was speaking a lot and Colin looked very happy. I returned home not long before you got back.
Penelope: The day Colin chaperoned Eloise and I to the shops?
Daphne: Yes
Penelope: Eloise that was his private business he was tending to while we were having ices.
Eloise: But he has never spoken of any lady outside of the family besides you.
Penelope: Will I have hardly been in Mayfair a week so I could hardly begin to speculate.

Just then a maid entered to inform them that their dinner was served. At the start of the evening Penelope was looking forward to speaking with Colin but now knowing his heart was taken she felt like a stupid little girl for the event of that day. Now she knew all the looks and touches were all in her head. She needed to keep her distance because she could not afford to lose any more of our heart to him.
Once everyone was seated Colin found himself repeatedly looking at Penelope in hopes he could catch her eye but instead he saw he was getting odd looks from Daphne and his mother. At the end of the meal as a cake was being brought in Daphne gestured to colin 'stop it', Colin gives a gesture back to say 'I don't know what you mean' she just gives a look that says 'enough' that's when violet stood up and addressed the room.

Violet: Thank you for joining us I just want to give you a proper welcome to Mayfair but I also know that it is Penelope's birthday today so I had cook make the birthday cake.

All the bridgerton's perked up seeing the cake being placed on the table.

Portia: The Birthday cake?
Violet: My apologies, it is a tradition from my family. It is a cake with extra fruit, coated in sugar syrup and the birthday person gets to cut it.
Portia: hmmm..... Well Penelope you can have just a taste you certainly don't need any more sweets now do you
Penelope: Yes Mama of course not.
Portia: You are to debut with your sisters next season and if you don't get all the weight off I fear no man will ever take you.

While her family laughed Penelope felt completely humiliated by her mother's words. When she looked up she could see Colin looked like he was going to kill someone. Benedict had placed a hand on his shoulder and whispered something into his ear and Colin responded in hush tones that penalty couldn't hear which Benedict head responded with 'I know I know'. Eloise tried to see if Penelope was okay but all Penelope could do was give her a small smile.
Everyone had their cake in silence while Portia either did not know the effect her words had or simply did not care. Once the cake was eaten everyone retired to the parlour once again. Colin  took the opportunity to give Penelope the book.

Colin: Pen could I speak to you for a moment?
Penelope: Of course Colin.

He guided her to the window at the far end of the room and handed her the book. When she took it her eyes grew wide in surprise.

Colin: Happy Birthday Penelope
Penelope: How did you
Colin: I saw you looking at it. You seemed like you really wanted it so I bought it for you.
Penelope: Colin...... Thank you.
Anthony: Colin could you come here a moment.
Colin: Of course brother, please excuse me Pen.

Penelope tried to engage in the conversations going on around her but she was distracted by the book Colin had given her. When her mind started to entertain the idea of Colin being attracted to her she stomped those thoughts down and reminded yourself of the flowers he was sending to someone else and what they meant. After a while it was time for Penelope and her family to go home. Once  they said they're thank yous and good nights the featherington stepped out of the Bridgerton's house.

Portia: We must take the carriage!
Archibald: Our house is just there we can just walk.
Portia: Walk! That would be unseemly
Archibald: Take the carriage if you must but I shall walk.
Penelope: Papa? May I walk with you?
Portia: Penelope!
Archibald: I have no objections.

Penelope and her father headed home leaving her mother and sisters to wait for a carriage. Once they were in the house her father said nothing and went to his study. then her ladies maid came running up to her.

Ann: Miss! Something has come for you while you were at dinner. I followed the instructions and not a soul saw them!

Penelope: Saw what?
Ann: Come miss they are in your bed chamber.
Varley: Miss Penelope?! Where is your Mama?
Penelope: Mama and my sisters wanted to take a carriage, Papa and I walked. When mama gets home could you tell her that I'm very tired from the events of today and I have gone to bed.
Varley: Of course.
Penelope: Thank you. Ann could you help me ready for bed?
Ann: Of course miss

When Penelope entered her bed chamber there was the bouquet the Daphne saw Colin ordering, the bouquet that meant fated love, the bouquet was medium in size they were a beautiful mix of red and deep purple and he sent them to her! It wasn't until she heard her mother and sisters enter the house that Penelope snapped out of it

Penelope: Ann where can I hide the flowers?
Ann: The flowers can go on your windowsill with the curtains closed and the gifts can go under your bed
Penelope: Gifts?
Ann: Yes miss but we don't have time someone is coming

As fast as they could Penelope grabbed the flowers and put them by the window closing the curtains then she ran to get a night gown as Ann stuffed the gifts under her bed. As Ann undid Penelope's dress Penelope kicked off her shoes and pulled off her stalkings. Once everything was off they threw on her night gown and Penelope sat down and adjusted it the way it was meant to look while Ann undid her hair. It was just in time because her bed chamber door swung open and her mother strolled in.

Portia: What are you doing?
Penelope: Oh did you not see Varley? I asked her to tell you I was going to go to bed
Portia: hmmm..... How did they know it was your birthday?
Penelope: Will Eloise ask my age when we met and I just said that I'll be 16 on Friday so I assume she told her Mama.

Portia seemed to accept this answer and left the room. Once the door was closed Ann continued to ready Penelope for bed then she removed the flowers from the window and the gifts from under the bed Penelope could not believe in bought her all of these things as Penelope sat on her bed looking at the gifts and the flowers she couldn't help but think about everything that occurred since they had met and Penelope now was no longer going to lie to herself she is completely in love with Colin Bridgerton and she was now sure he had  feelings for her as well. As Penelope went to bed she started thinking for the first time since she was told she would be debuting next season she was actually looking forward to it. Dancing with Colin sounded wonderful.

Once the Featherington's had left Colin went and laid on his bed thinking of the events of dinner. He knew he was glancing at Penelope during the meal but he didn't think it warranted looks from his mother and sister. Definitely not the gestures from Daphne, but when Anthony called them over in the parlour telling him how inappropriate he was being calling knew he was in trouble.
To Colin Penelope is his wife, the mother of his children, his soulmate, his lover, the love of his life, his goddess, his best friend, his one true love . She is the keeper of all his secrets and his darkest fantasies, the holder of his hopes and dreams. His heartbreaks not being able to sink into her as he was made to do. It hurts not being able to be close to her but he tells himself he must hold on. It will be worth it when he has given his Love everything she should have had.

Colin: Oh Colin! It has yet been a week and you are already going mad...... How am I going to service until next season?!....... I think I should need to speak with my brothers come morning.

Chapter Text

Colin woke with a feeling of dread Colin the pit in his stomach. Once he was ready for the day he headed to the study. Upon entering he saw Anthony and Benedict were already there, oddly Benedict was the one looking stressed.

Benedict: Brother you are late!

Anthony: Colin are you well? You look pale

Colin: Could I speak with you without invoking your ire?

Benedict: Is something wrong?

Colin: I do not know if you were told already but I have feelings for Penelope and I wanted to send her flowers once every two weeks

Anthony: which I agreed to

Benedict: You did?!

Colin: I thought that would be it. I would send her flowers and we would converse from time to time but I did not anticipate my need to be close to her or my want to touch her.....

Anthony: Brother! Have you done something?

Colin: I have not compromised her if that is what you are asking. But I thought I was behaving completely appropriately until you told me otherwise. How shall I maintain propriety until next season?

Anthony: Colin does she hold affections for you?

Colin: Yes, I believe so.

Anthony: Then why wait until next season? We should speak to her father. I am sure we can come to an agreement and you can wed miss Featherington in just a few months.

Colin: But I wanted her to have the experience of being a debutant. I wanted to be able to sign her dance cards, having the thrill of dancing the waltz with her. I want to call on her and be able to see her face when I give her flowers and promenade with her proudly on my arm.

Benedict: That is lovely Colin!

Anthony: Yes yes but he is already fighting his natural urges Benedict.

Benedict: That's alright we can just take him a ple...

Anthony: No!.. Colin has made it very clear to me that those kinds of places are not for him.

Benedict: Oh..... So what should be done?

Anthony: I do not know we just do not want to risk the scandal of a rushed wedding to the youngest daughter of the newest family to Mayfair. People will talk.

Colin: No of course not. But I have known her less than a week and I am already attempting to find ways to be close to her.

Anthony: Yes, I must ask, you do not know this young woman, how do you know you truly want to wed her?

Colin: Oh brother! how do I explain it. It is like meeting her made my existence make sense. Like I was put on this earth I love her and be by her side.

Benedict: Oh little brother! You are truly in love!

Anthony: You must be sent away

Benedict: What?!
Colin: What!

Anthony: Miss Featherington seems like a very sweet young lady and I am sure she will make a very fine addition to the family but I do not believe you would like her to enter into the family under scandal would you?

Colin: Of course not.

Anthony: Then you will be sent to Aubrey Hall to care for the house, land and our tenants until next season.

Benedict: That would work. At least it will stop you making a declaration of love too soon and the families falling into scandal.

Colin:... Ummm.....

Anthony: What did you do?

Colin: I sent her flowers and gifts yesterday

Anthony: Gifts! What gifts?

Colin: Some books, a quill, ink, a fan, a hair comb, and a parasol.

Anthony: Alright that is not too bad

Benedict: Hold on Anthony. Colin what flowers did you send?

Colin:.....red rose buds.....

Benedict:Oh that is alright then.

Colin: And purple Phlox....

Benedict: You jest!

Anthony: WHAT?! Colin what have you done!

Colin: It felt like the right choice at the time.

Anthony: We are definitely sending you to Aubrey Hall until next season.

Colin: Alright but I must speak with Penelope before I have to leave.

Anthony: Why?

Benedict: He declared himself and now he is going to be leaving until next season he must speak with her about it.

Colin: I will speak with her privately

Anthony: You will not! You can speak with her in the study with a chaperone

Colin: Brother she will not speak to me freely if we are chaperoned

Anthony: I am not agreeing to your idea Colin.

Benedict: I am

Anthony: Of course you would agree to it Benedict..... Look Colin I will think it over. Now come, we have used up enough time. We must get to work.

As they headed to the dining room with the files and paperwork they were met by their mother

Violet: Good morning dears. Having a late start to your day?

Colin: We just had something to discuss.

Violet: Alright well I had breakfast set up for you in the morning room so you would not be disturbed.

Anthony: Thank you Mother

Violet: In one hand a half hours I will have someone come to clean up. That will mean your work time is over. Am I clear?

Anthony: Yes Mother

Colin: Yes Mama

Benedict: Of course mother

As the three brothers had breakfast and got to work Colin was furious with himself. He felt like he was making a mess of things already.

Benedict: All will be well brother. Do not worry

Colin: I hope you are right. I do not want Penelope thinking I have changed my mind or anything of the sort.

Penelope woke to the most beautiful smell of flowers then she remembered Colin sent her flowers and gifts and what the flowers meant. As she got out of bed she could not help but think that maybe they were not meant for her, maybe they were sent to the wrong house. What was she to do? Does she tell him risking embarrassing him? Does she say nothing? But then Colin would have believed he had declared himself to the woman he loves and if she got in the way of his happiness she would never forgive herself. As she took the flowers from her bedside table to hide them she thought about telling Eloise about it but Penelope thought Eloise would either be annoyed by it or uninterested. Then she thought about talking to Daphne and maybe Francesca but Penelope felt she did not know them well enough to talk to them about something like this. As she looked around her bed chamber to make sure things appeared normal someone knocked at her door causing her to yelp.

Ann: Oh I am sorry miss I did not mean to scare you.
Penelope: It is alright I was just making sure everything was hidden well as to not draw my mama suspicion.
Ann: I must ready you quickly your mama is not happy today and is already mad you are late to breakfast.
Penelope: Breakfast? Already?
Ann: Yes she demanded it to be served early.

Without another words Ann dressed Penelope as fast as she could styling her hair in a simple half up style. Fifteen minutes later Penelope thanked Ann and ran to breakfast not wanting to upset her mother further.

Portia: How kind of you to grace us with your presence Penelope.
Penelope: I am sorry mama I did not mean to sleep so long.
Portia: mmm...... Well..... Since you had cake last night you will not need much today. Yes?
Penelope: Yes Mama.

Penelope knew this all too well, anything she eats today will be judged heavily. Penelope prayed the flowers were truly meant for her and Colin would get her out of this house. She had heard of young ladies marrying without a debut, she found entertaining that idea to be quite exciting, to be introduced as Mrs Bridgerton at the beginning of next season instead of being paraded about like a piece of meat waiting to see what would bite. The rest of Penelopes day went the same as breakfast when the other meals for the day were served her mother sighed and tutted at almost everything she attempted to eat. As her family ate their fill of the meals Penelope fantasized about Colin steeling her away in the middle of the night and kissing her in the moonlight like she had read in her romance novels.
As Colin sat at the dinner table he knew he needed to come up with a plan to see Penelope so he can explain everything to her. At the other side of the table Anthony and Benedict were watching Colin pushing his food around his plate looking bereft. Anthony gave Benedict a look of concedence and both went back to attempting to consume their meals. When dinner ended Anthony stood up and spoke as he walked to the door.

Anthony: Colin, Benedict let us go to the study.

The two brothers did not speak as they followed Anthony out of the room. Once in the study Anthony and Benedict took their normal seats at the desk while Colin took the other seat across from his brother.

Anthony: Colin I have thought about this a lot and I can not allow you to have a secret meeting with miss Featherington. I have to think about the whole family and not only is it wrong if you were to be caught you will ruin miss Featherington's reputation and cause scandal for both families.

Colin just looked at his lap trying to figure out how to get Penelope to meet him so he can explain why he must depart.
Benedict gave Anthony a confused look but Anthony ignored him.

Anthony: You will leave in four days...... You may go.

With that Colin got up and left the room headed to his bed chamber.

Benedict: I thought we were in agreement brother?!
Anthony: We are.
Benedict: To be clear I am for him meeting miss Featherington.
Anthony: So am I.
Benedict: Then why did you just
Anthony: Because brother I am head of this house, I can not be seen condoning that kind of behaviour.... But you can.
Benedict: Pardon?
Anthony: When Colin has his secret meeting with miss Featherington I want you to be near by to stop him from doing anything ruinous.

While Anthony spoke Benedict chose not to say anything more and just wondered what kind of game his brother was playing.
Colin had to keep reminding himself that this was the Anthony before Kate and Benedict before Sophie. He paced his bed chamber trying to come up with a way to get a note to her so they could meet. As time passed Colins bed chamber was plunged into darkness causing something to catch his eye. Looking out his window he saw Penelope in her childhood bed chamber sitting upon her bed reading. Colin had hoped it might be one of the books be gifted her. Then it suddenly occurred to him that he was very much over thinking this as he lit a candle.
Penelope sat in her bed chamber readied for bed reading the book Colin gifted her in the Bridgerton parlour. Penelope could not help but smile to herself feeling as if she is in her very own romance novels. Getting off of her bed Penelope wanted to smell the flowers Colin sent once more before she went to sleep but when she stood up her eyes automatically went to the house across the square. There in what Penelope assumed was Colins bed chamber window was Colin. She gave him a shy wave and he waved in return. He stood there for a moment looking at her then he suddenly moved away from the window. He was only gone a few seconds before he was back holding what Penelope realized was his coat after he put it on. He started to gesture something that Penelope did not understand, after a few attempts to decipher what Colin was attempting to communicate he stopped and left the window, then the room went dark. Penelope stood there trying to figure out what he could possibly want to convey to her. Movement across the square snapped Penelope out of her thoughts. It was Colin leaving his house and heading straight to hers. When he was close enough he beckoned her to him and then pointed to the gate that led to the garden which Penelope took to mean he wanted her to meet him in the garden. She was feeling very nervous as she had never snuck out before. Penelope believed it would be best to use the servants stairs so she would not be seen. She was very surprised to find how easy it was to seek out, it made her wonder why she had never done it before now.
After Colin entered the Featherington's garden he did not have to wait long before the servants entrance opened. Seeing Penelope stepping out of the doorway he felt as though he was transported back to their first year of marriage. He was in awe of her beauty, how the moonlight made her hair and skin glow.

Penelope: Hello Colin.
Colin: Hello Pen.

Colin enjoyed the feels of his heart racing and his stomach doing flips. But he hated feeling so green and not truly in control of himself.

Colin: Did you receive the rest of your birthday gift?
Penelope: I did, they were lovely. Thank you.
Colin: And..the flowers?...... Were they alright?
Penelope: Oh yes of course! They are lovely.

A beautiful blush creeped across Penelope's cheeks as spoke about the flowers which made Colin's heart swell with pride that the flowers he gave her had such an effect.

Colin: Come with me, I have something I must talk with you about.

He takes her hand and leads her to the very back of the garden. Penelope can not help but wonder if a proposal is about to happen or if he wants to plan for them running away together. Once they reached a stone bench that Penelope did not know was there. They sat together and Colin took Penelopes ungloved hand in his and she was almost certain this would be her end. Penelopes mind races through a multitude of romantic scenarios but when she looks at Colin she sees he appears conflicted about something. This makes Penelopes heart sink, she immediately started to think he believed he made a mistake with the flowers? Or maybe he did not realize what those flowers meant. Putting her breaking heart aside she could not allow Colin to remain in the thoughts that are causing him distress.

Penelope: Colin? Are you well?

He shifted in his seat so he could face her while still holding her hand. Using his thumb he started to gently rub circles on the back of her hand. It felt as though he was doing this to sooth himself more than anything else. Colin looked into her eyes and he knew what she had been thinking. He could not let her believe it.

Colin: Pen, I do not want you to think for a single moment that I regret sending you those flowers because I do not. I believe they convey my feelings perfectly...But....
Penelope: But?.....

He takes a deep breath before speaking.

Colin: I am leaving.

Upon seeing Penelopes expression he felt as though he was back at the first Hastings ball telling Penelope he was leaving for Greece, her devastated expression was just the same.

Colin: I am not leaving because I want to Pen. I am being sent to care for my family's ancestral home Aubrey Hall and our tenants in the nearby village.
Penelope: Will you be away long?
Colin: I will not be back till next season.
Penelope: Oh.....

Penelope could not help but feel disappointed but she had to know something

Penelope: Colin?....... Have I done something to cause this?
Colin: What?! No! No of course not you have not done anything wrong at all!..... In truth, it is me.
Penelope: I do not understand?

His eyes drifted to their join hands.

Colin: well it seems my brothers have deemed my behaviour towards you as inappropriate.
Penelope: Inappropriate how? I do not recall you doing anything of the sort.
Colin: They did not get into specifics but I did get the feeling they believed I was being too familiar with you. Especially since we had our first meeting not but a week ago. With that in mind I am inclined to agree....... May I be so bold as to say that if my behaviour has already been deemed unacceptable after one week I do not believe I will survive keeping propriety til next season.

Colin was still rubbing circles into the back of Penelopes hand until he looked at her,  she was looking down at her lap and he could almost see the thoughts swirling around in her mind.

Colin: Pen please talk to me.
Penelope: What am I to say?

She turns her head and looks Colin dead in the eye.

Penelope: What would you like me to say?
Colin: Pen I would like if you could be honest with me about your thoughts and feelings.

Penelope suddenly felt too embarrassed to look Colin in the eye so she focused on they're joined hands instead.

Penelope: I suppose if I were to be completely honest I guess I feel sad...... I know I have no right to feel as such but...

Colin let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her pulling her close.

Colin: Of course you do Pen, you have the right to your feelings.

They sat in silence for some time when it occurred to him that Penelope never said anything about her feelings towards him. He knew that Penelope told him before they were wed that she had loved him since the day they met but had started to think what if this time he had changed things?, what if she only liked him as a friend?, what if this was a punishment for the hurt he caused her? As of she could feel his mind go into a spin Penelope looks at him again

Penelope: Colin, could you tell me what you are thinking? Truthfully.

Colin can feel the heat of his embarrassment rise in his face as he knows he must tell her the truth. He removes his arm from around her and takes her hand again. He then takes a deep breath before he speaks.

Colin: I felt the flowers I sent to you spoke of my feelings far better than I believe I ever could, but I can not help but notice that you have not spoken of any feelings you may have towards me. Now I fear I have completely over stepped. I worry I have misread something between us.

Colin felt ashamed for feeling so needy. He started to feel like something had a crushing grip on his heart.

Colin: If you do not have those kind of feeling for me I will understand Pen. I will gladly be your friend alone. But if not I will leave you in peace if that is what you wish.

Penelope let go of his hand and abruptly stood up looking into the darkness of the garden. She turned and stood in front of him

Penelope: Colin please do not think less of me for this

Colin: I could never.

As Colin looked up with a sad smile he was convinced he had ruined things. That Penelope was going to tell him that she, at best wanted to be just friends or at worst she never wanted to speak to him again.
Penelope stepped forward into the space between his knees, placing her hands gently on his shoulders she leaned forward placing a quick chased kiss on Colin's lips.
It happened so fast Colin did not get the chance to react in the moment, but as Penelope went to step out of his space he wrapped one arm around her waist and using his other hand he gently cradled her face as he pulled her in for another kiss. Once their lips met again Penelope wrapped her arms around his shoulders and as a result her body pressed against Colins. Just as he is about to deepen the kiss they heard the gate to the Featherington's garden creek open causing Penelope to pull away much to Colins dismay. He quickly stood up and whispered.

Colin: That is most likely someone coming to find me. Just pretend you did not hear anything.

He returns to speaking at the volume he was before as he takes Penelopes hand again.

Colin: Pen will you write to me while I am gone?
Penelope: If you wish me to then of course I will.

Colin links Penelopes arm in his and they slowly make their way back to the servants entrance of the house. Once there they turned to face each other again. Colin again whispers so only Penelope can hear him.

Colin: Could I meet you here again before I leave?
Penelope:I would really like that.
Colin:I am to leave on Wednesday morning so would Tuesday night at eleven be alright?
Penelope:Yes that should be perfect.
Colin:Good I shall see you then. Goodnight Pen.
Penelope: Goodnight Colin.

He leans in and gives her a sweet kiss on the cheek. As Penelope closes the door behind her Colin hears something close to him, when he turns there stands Benedict.

Benedict: I should run you two to the alter for that.
Colin Come brother you would not make Penelope wed me because I kissed her on the cheek?!
Benedict: Many have been made to wed for far less you know that.
Colin: That is true.
Benedict: At least your goodbyes are complete. Come, we must away home before we are seen.
Colin: How did you know where to find me?
Benedict: Well I went to your chambers to speak to you but when I found you to not be there I knew you would try to meet miss Featherington after that conversation with Anthony.

They stopped outside Bridgerton house and Benedict turned to Colin and grasped his upper arms.

Benedict: Brother I must ask you this question. Did you compromise her?
Colin: Brother!
Benedict: I must ask.
Colin: We talked and held hands..... I also kissed her on the cheek when we said our goodbyes.
Benedict: Thank you for being truthful with me Colin..... I think what you want for miss Featherington is very romantic but I must say I do not understand. I know you want her to have the experience of being a debutant but could you not court and marry her before her debut? Is this something she wants?
Colin: I just want to do things the correct way.

They step inside the house and as Benedict talks he removes his coat.

Benedict: When it comes to love my understanding is there is no correct way of doing things only what feels best for you and the one you love.
Colin: Where has this come from? Have you found your love Ben?
Benedict: No of course not, I like to spend time with scholars and poets. Goodnight Brother.
Colin: Goodnight Ben.

Colin stood in the foyer contemplating Benedicts words. Was he making the right choice? He could not remember Penelope's feelings on her first season, for Colin her original first season was so long ago.
Colin suddenly felt exhausted, so he decided to go to bed and think about this in the morning.

Chapter Text

Penelope felt like a ball of mixed emotions on one hand she felt upset that Colin was being sent away and she would not see him until next season but on the other hand she had her first kiss. She also now knew that the flowers were meant for her and it was not a mistake. She may have been the one to kiss Colin first but when she pulled away he did pull her back in and kissed her more deeply so he must have been alright with the kiss. Penelope had a very hard time falling asleep, her mind kept jumping between joy that Colin feels the same way for her as she does for him and doubting everything, like she may have made it all up or she was looking too deeply into what happened. Then came the self hating thoughts like why would he want her she is too short, too fat, too ugly. He will meet someone far better suited and far more beautiful while he is away and Upon his return he will realize his mistake. Penelope  came to the conclusion that while Colin is gone she must build her walls to protect herself from the heartbreak that is going to happen. She will enjoy any time she has with him and she will cherish any letters she may get but she must prepare to be forgotten.
Upon waking the next morning Colin laid in bed staring at the ceiling thinking over everything. He knew Penelope loved to dance and she loved receiving flowers from him so it would stand to reason that Pen would enjoy being a debutant with a suitor. But Colin could not help but wonder if maybe Benedict could be correct, could Penelope prefer being courted and wed before her debut? For Colin it feels far less romantic. Colin got out of bed, stood in front of the mirror and took a good look at himself. In front of him was a boy, a mere child who had no place entertaining the idea of marriage nevermind actually pursuing it. He knew his choice was the correct path to go down, he needed to become Penelope's husband again. He will go to his family's estate, not only will he care for Aubrey hall, the tenants and the land but he will work to shed the baby fat that clung to him like he did on the ships during his second tour. He also wanted to get back into the Parisian fashions that he believed suited him better than the fashions of the Ton. He also wanted to take a tour to Scotland so he would be able to write his first book. Once he and Penelope are wed they can take the second tour as a honeymoon. As his valet dressed him for the day he started to think about the things he wanted to do before it was time for him to leave. First he wanted to talk to Anthony about joining some of his inheritance in with the investments, he wanted to expand his wealth while he was away. Then he wanted to give Penelope some gifts to keep him close to her in gone. He thought of something he got her before that she said brought her comfort on the rare times he had to be away from her, a bottle of perfume that was made just for her. Once he was dressed he joined his family for breakfast. Entering the room he spotted Benedict leaning over to Anthony speaking in hushed tones, clearly speaking about him when they stopped as soon as they saw Colin entering the room. Colin picked up a plate and gathered what he wanted for his meal before sitting down.

Colin: Anthony could I speak with you in the study once breakfast has concluded?
Anthony: Of course! Is all well?
Colin: I believe so I just have something I need to discuss with you.

As Colin began eating some memories flashed into Colin's head about the season to come. First was Marina, Colin immediately thought of finding a reason to go to the Crane estate and somehow get George Crane to wed Marina but then he caught sight of Eloise. If Marina never comes to Mayfair and then weds Phillip Eloise will not have reason to write him sending her condolences on Marina's death taking away the only man Eloise has ever been open to loving. Then the perfect plan struck him, he was going to have "an issue" with his carriage near the Crane estate so he could request repairs and befriend the brothers, hopefully George will bring up Marina but Colin will not attempt to push for him to wed her, instead he will leave things be and when she arrives in Mayfair he can write to George telling him Marina is on the marriage mart under the most scheming Mama in the United kingdom. Hopefully that will be enough to have George and Phillip high tail it to London and if it is just George that comes to London then Colin will maintain a friendship with Phillip so he can pay him a visit and take Penelope and Eloise with him so the future husband and wife can be introduced. A very simple plan indeed. Then there was Lord Featherington's death and the complete mess he left behind. It was not until years after their marriage that Penelope confessed they were left with no money for food nevermind dowry's, Penelope tried to add what she could of her whistledown money but she had said it was not much as she would have been caught if she added more. Colin began to wonder once he wed Penelope would he be made to take financial responsibility for the rest of the Featherington's. Then he remembered Albion, he was kind. Colin was sure he could easily convince him to help because the only other Lord Featherington before his son was a fraud but Albion wasn't able to wed Phillipa until her dowry was paid. Maybe he could put forth a small dowry for Phillipa and once she and Albion are wed then hopefully he will help put together a more sizable dowry for Prudence, she will need it to get Dankworth. Then his mind jumped to poor Sophie how could he help her get out of the nightmare she was trapped in as soon as possible. Then almost like a flash he remembered that time Sophie telling him the first time she saw his family. She had been walking through Grosvenor Square the morning of Penelope and Daphne's Debut. Maybe just maybe he could get Benedict to notice her and maybe the lightning bolt of love will strike. That could set things in motion, it might be just enough to change things for the better.
Throughout breakfast Anthony couldn't help but watch how troubled Colin appeared. He felt torn, he knew sending Colin away was the right thing to do but he hated seeing his brother like this.
Once breakfast was completed Colin and Anthony walked to the study in silence. After they entered while they got themselves situated there was a knock on the door and in came Benedict.

Benedict: May I join?
Anthony: Is that alright with you Colin?
Colin: That is perfectly fine.
Anthony: So what is it you wanted to speak to me about?
Colin: Investments
Benedict: Do not worry brother Anthony and I can handle the family investments for now.
Colin: Actually I wanted to inquire about personal investments
Anthony: Personal investments? May I inquire as to your interest?
Colin: I want to be prepared for the future and give Penelope the life I feel she deserves.
Anthony: That is all?
Colin: Yes
Benedict: Brother are you sure that it truly all you looked quite perturbed at breakfast.
Colin: I was only thinking I must head to the shops to get something before I leave.
Anthony: Oh.....ok. Well alright then.

The three brothers spent the next forty-five minutes making out an investment plan for Colin that would hopefully yield the best results. Once their work was complete Colin set out for the shops.

Benedict: Do you believe he is alright?
Anthony: Not at all. Something is off with him and I do not believe it is just about him being away from Miss Featherington.
Benedict: What do you think is going on?
Anthony: I wish I could say.

The first thing Colin set out to buy were some quills he chose Dove, Black Swan, Parrot and Peacock, green and purple ink and a large amount of paper, he did not want Penelope to run out and not be able to write to him while he was gone. The next thing Colin set out to buy were some poetry books and romance novels.He knew she already loved stories of romance and love but it wasn't until later in there marriage she became interested in poetry but he wanted her to have them anyway. The last thing he wanted to get her was some perfume made just for her

Perfumer: Good day, how can I assist you?
Colin: Good day, I am looking to get some perfume
Perfumer: for yourself?
Colin: Oh no I would like to get it as a gift
Perfumer: For a lady?
Colin: Yes but I would like it to be unique..... special.
Perfumer: what is the gift for? Her Birthday perhaps?
Colin: No I will be away for a while and I will not be back until next season.
Perfumer: ah so it is a lovers gift then?
Colin: yes
Perfumer: and does she share your feelings?
Colin: yes we plan to court when I am back.
Perfumer: hmmm...... Well I have been testing something if you would be interested
Colin: ...what is it?
Perfumer: essentially it is a perfume of your sent
Colin: Pardon?!
Perfume: we all have our own sent something uniquely us. I guarantee your lady has a smell you very much enjoy.

Colin could feel his ears going red thinking about her smell as they made love and how her smell felt extra warm in the mornings. It's was always sweet and warm and made him feel calm.

Colin: Umm......... yes....
Perfumer: and I guarantee you have a smell she loves. While you are away she can use the perfume to feel close to you.
Colin: I do not know what my smell even is.
Perfumer: I will need to smell your neck and wrists.

Colin felt strange about this but he took off his cravat and rolled up his sleeves allowing the perfumer to smell him.

Perfumer: Ceder......musk......Cinnamon and hmmmmm there is a creamy quality to it that might be hard to bottle. But I will try. Give me two hours.
Colin: Oh alright. I shall return in two hours then.

Once Colin had put his cravat back on he left the shop. For the first hour he walked around the shops just to pass the time. For the second hour he sat in Gunther's eating some ices. Once the long two hours were up Colin headed back to see if the perfumer could bottle his smell.

Perfumer: Welcome back
Colin: Were you able to make it
Perfumer: well I have three mixes but I am going to need to smell you again so I can pick the correct one.

Colin rolled up his sleeve once more and after a few minutes of the perfumer smelling the bottles and the smelling Colin's wrist bottle number two was picked as the closest match to his smell. The perfumer then wrapped it in a nice box before giving it to Colin. He gathered up all of the gifts for Penelope and headed home. Meanwhile back at Bridgerton house Anthony and Benedict have a chat.

Benedict: I agree something is a miss with Colin but maybe he is just maturing?
Anthony: In just over a week Colin has changed so much, do you not see it? He seems........ older some how..... It is also like he is on a mission.
Benedict: Agreed but what mission?
Anthony: In truth I do not know but I might send word to Aubrey Hall request updates on Colin. They can tell us if he is acting strange or doing things he should not.
Benedict: Are you sure that is a good idea?
Anthony: In truth I am not sure of anything right now but we must do something.