Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I don’t understand any of this!” Cassidy cried out with a huff, the book lodged within his hands easily was sent to the floor as the hands crossed over his chest in an annoyed fashion. His familiar hat acted as a guard against the embarrassment as he looked away, currently: he was lodged within a corner in the kitchen of the shared Overwatch building. It was currently 1:30am…which probably wasn’t helping his tired Texan brain desperately trying to make sense of a language he’d never even thought of learning before. But it all changed when he had walked into the room,  with the dashing good looks, deep seated brown eyes that hosted a thousand deaths and the heavy burden of responsibility. Cassidy knew, he wanted that man.

Not…at first. Of course, it wasn’t until curiosity had developed and overcame that his hands had reached out, dancing over the feathers of the arrows. Until the other man’s hand had easily reached up, crossing the small space and resting an arrow head at the base of his throat.

“Sawaranaide kudasai.” Was growled at the man, Cassidy had merely tilted his head before a deep chuckle left him.

“Woah there…I’m just admiring-“

“Admiring is the least you can do. Do your job and I’ll do mine.” Was spat back as if Cassidy was ugly.

The reaction was immediate, the other man pulled away with his face scrunched up, a mixture of disbelief and disgust merged into one as the unknown bow master merely scowled before turning on his foot, returning back to the influential position. The only sound to remain it wasn’t a fiction of his imagination was a snicker in the corner, DVA merely looked with a small smile, before it quickly dropped at the sight of cassidy’s storm of a expression.

“I think- I left my oven on!” She said brightly before waving and disappearing off past the opened doors of grey.

If Cassidy thought that interaction was…a flaming shitshow. The second time the pair had crossed paths was even worse than before.

“Fuck!” He cried out as he dived under a sea of bullets, his back harshly collided with a tossed over block of wood shaped within a table. The shaped pieces of silver easily pierced through it, causing him to slink further downwards, grabbing onto his hat as the other hand become busy within the actions of reloading his revolver. He wasn’t sure what had happened, it was supposed to be a simple exchange. A grab and go, but yet somehow they had managed to become intertwined with an already existing system. A mission set by their enemies, and now they were being blamed. He knew of course when the fire was died down, it would be reprimanded but damn. Would be nice to be alive to actually see it occur. Easily his own bullets slid in before with a resounding crack, it snapped back into place. Spinning on one knee, the cowboy pulled the quick shot; easily knocking a few guards down before diving behind cover. Although his aim was trained, his gaze had wondered, the handsome bow master was strung across the floor, blood pooling and designing the body with an intricate flowering. As the cowboy dipped behind the table, he felt the sense of urgency and respect building. He growled before gently hitting himself with the butt of the gun, ridding his mind of clouded thoughts.

“He’s not a teammate. He’ll slow you down. Just get out here. He’s probably already dead.”

“He’s dead Cassidy. You don’t wanna join him.”

“Leave him. Just-“

He wasn’t sure what had compelled him. He was stupid, but maybe it was dumb luck or even more than that, the thing that seemed to get him through anything. It had helped again. The man, still unknown to Cas, had been patched up albeit roughly. But he was alive and with a pulse. He currently lay on a sofa, based within a small hotel room Cassidy had brought quickly, merely throwing bills at the bell boy and praying that his team would arrive before midnight. They could make a quick escape, finally leave the nightmare behind. Bourbon burnt his throat as he sipped from the glass, he was tired. Aching in places he didnt know could ache, but the sense of heroism was still strong, a high he couldn’t resist to indulge in.

“No..Genji..” Cassidy cast a look back, the man was sleep talking. He’d done that a lot, Cas had mostly tried to ignore it. The other half was deciphering the broken language that slipped past the cherry lips. “Please!” Was cried before the body like a puppet was dragged upwards, his eyes wide as a hand was reached forward. Cassidy merely raised a eyebrow before his gaze casted off to the outside, he was stood by the window, a small pout resting on the lips as he tried to ignore the ragged breathes from the other, who loud he swallowed or how he could hear the hands immediately running over the face, over his hair or how the glare seemed to immediately be stuck on him.

“Where am I.” Was muttered before Cassidy roused a large smile, turning on his foot and looking at the man.

“Well, welcome to reality sleeping beauty. Thought we lost ya for a moment.” Cassidy said brightly, the other man merely glared, his eyes narrowed and head tilted. Cassidy tried to ignore how the hands ruffled away at the blanket that had been tossed half hazardously (a lie, Cassidy told himself. To make up for the fact that he might’ve stolen some touches, how his hand might’ve glanced across the face, feeling the ridges of the cheekbones and how soft the skin really was. How the blanket had been placed gently ontop, tucked within the body to make sure he was warm.) he tried to ignore how the hands bunched into fists before a sigh, and the gaze was broken.

“Where are we.” He muttered bitterly before Cassidy returned his gaze to the window, pawing at the blinds and easily separating them.

“Chicago. A few states over where were originally.”

“Chicago..” was muttered in response before the rustling sound occurred again, immediately his head whipped to the side.

“Hey! Hey no!” Was growled as within a few steps, he crossed over the threshold and without thinking, hands rested on the exposed chest, the soft muscles easily stood warm against his cold hands. Cassidy held a glare as the bow master easily looked up.

“What”

“You can’t be walking around so soon, you were half dead and we ain’t got Mercy around. She’ll patch you better but-“ he started to say before the other man scoffed. He pushed against Cassidy, with a grunt, he continued his journey before easily standing, meeting the eyes of the cowboy.

“You might’ve patched me up. But you don’t own my movements. Let me go. I will find-“

“What your own way home? Where is your home-“

“Not here!”

“Well obviously Sherlock. It ain’t my home either you think I wanna be here?” Cassidy replied simply, it seemed to have worked, the bowmaster held a mixture of a pout and a scowl, his top lip curled up but also out. The brows were furrowed together, a sense of coldness extending its arm. Cassidy tried to ignore how butterflies pierced and clawed their way to the top of his throat, he swallowed before his eyes dipped upwards, even the bow master held a eyebrow cocked, an interest in the intensity of Cassidy’s gaze.

“Where do you come from originally.” He asked softly, Cassidy licked his lips before looking away, he didn’t want this. This was too soon, way too fast. But he couldn’t remove his hands from the chest, or how his gaze re directed back to the mystery man.

“Santa fe.” He muttered, “you?”

“Hanamura.”

“Where’s that.” Cassidy asked softly, the pout scowl merely merged into a soft smile.

“Far far away from here.”

“Is it peaceful?” His voice was barely a whisper, soft, so soft the wind could easily have taken it away.

“Very.” The mystery man said, his voice cracking slightly at the edges before he looked away, Cassidy removed his hands from the chest, letting them drop down by his waist.

“You should get some rest, extraction team will be here in a couple hours.”

Jesus, how old was he. A 20 something year old, he tried to keep his breath even as he walked back to the window, trying to ignore the light blush that dusted across his cheeks, he was so stupid. A stupid, stupid old man. He knew, for certainty, he was not on the spectrum of heterosexuality. He was down for whatever, but other people. They generally assumed he was just straight, that of course he’d never have an interest in a man, or well interest in sex at all. And of course, given him a decade ago…he would’ve made a move. Told the extraction team to cool it. He would’ve made out with the man, pinning him to the bed board and  easily pulling sounds only the neighbours would complain about. But now, he was..unsure. He hadn’t been with anyone, he didn’t have that urge to. Fantasies easily fuelled him through the years of bitter rivalry between himself and the urge to disappear, to end it all. To rest the hat for good.

“I never got your name life giver.” The man broke the train of thought as Cassidy looked over his shoulder, giving a classic toothed smile he shrugged simply.

“Tell me yours handsome.” He tried to ignore how a mixture of emotions ran across the face, none showing disgust before the bow user opened his mouth before promptly shutting it. “Aw come on, I don’t bite. Promise I won’t search you on the net…”

“Yours first.”

“That sounds like an unfair deal, seeing as I was the one who saved you an all?” Cassidy said before the other man merely glared before shaking his head.

“Wake me when your ‘team’ is here.” Was muttered as the man sat back down, his hands sinking back within the blanket before his body followed. Although he was large, it was scary how small he could easily make himself, curling up within the bed and allowing his head to nuzzle a few times into the pillows. Cassidy tore his eyes away from the scene, mentally cursing at himself. As silence rested between the two, the master spoke.

“My name is Hanzo.”

“Cassidy.”

“Nice to meet you…Cassidy.” The cowboy liked the way the accent purred over the words, as if Hanzo had taken his name to think about it, to read it aloud. Cassidy swallowed before he opened his mouth to comment something along the lines of he liked Hanzo’s name too. How it sounded pretty, but he lacked the courage. Instead he cast a gaze back, and thankfully the other man was asleep. His eyes closed, chest heavily exhaling, a hand resting under the pillow meanwhile the other rested across his stomach. A protective pose, Cassidy merely smiled at the sight before returning to looking outside the window. Hands clasped around the glass of burnt liquor, before raising it to his lips, trying to ignore the growing heat in his chest. Stupid, stupid feelings. It didn’t mean anything. Life and death was carried in hand with him all the time. Nothing new. It was just. Odd feelings.

The next time the pair would cross paths, would be in the night. A hand reached across the book that had been half hazardously tossed to the floor, and with a gentle chuckle, it found itself back within the lap of the pouting cowboy.

“You know Japanese is an incredibly hard language to master.” Hanzo muttered softly, “especially if you only speak one language.” He didn’t dip underneath to expose the face of the further embarrassed cowboy, instead choosing to take a step away, moving towards the counter top. The sound of pots being moved before gently being placed filled the silence. Water was heard, splashing into the metallic air as Cassidy raised his head up, curiosity getting the best of him unfortunately.

“Watcha making..” he asked softly, albeit a little too softly as Hanzo merely continued to work, opening the cupboard doors and reaching the large hand inside before procuring the glass tub filled with hot chocolate. It was expensive stuff, not the cheap one that Cassidy actually liked. He was…weird. Definitely, when voicing his complaint about having both the cheap and expensive options, everyone merely talked over him denying him the fact that he wanted both. He had pretended he didn’t care, claiming it was to do with budgeting…but the reality was. He liked it. All the years on the road, limited income and even more limited time, meant stealing the cheapest bottom of the barrel stuff was the best he could have. He had developed a taste, an appreciation for it. So whenever he drank the expensive stuff, even things such as wine or beer, he always sneered or raised a finger to deny it. He was about to voice a complaint, a statement that he was going to go to bed, call it a night but as soon as he did, the hand raised up. Dipping further into the cupboard before pulling a purple packet out. He didn’t say anything. Hanzo merely took the silence as continuation and within a few minutes of the pan boiling, he shifted the powder into it.

“Cups?” Hanzo muttered softly, “please..” Cassidy tried to ignore how his mouth went dry, or how he licked his lips before nodding or how hanzo merely looked over his shoulder with soft doe like eyes. A sense of humour dancing amongst the sea of hazelnut.

Cassidy wasn’t sure how the bow master managed to pull it off. How he had gone from being frustrated about learning a language to sitting on his bed sipping hot chocolate, with a handsome man merely sitting beside him, the cup placed on the floor, his back against the frame. Easily, his fist was logged within the cheek, his eyes fluttered close. Cassidy has tried to keep his giggles to a containable minimum, tried being a key word. But he couldn’t help himself. It was always funny seeing the tough harsh exterior of the man being easily whittled down, the truth that he was a good person.

“Do not laugh at me gaijin.” Was muttered half heartedly, Cassidy merely scoffed before taking a brave step forward, a hand left the warm cup before reaching forward, poking the exposed cheek that rested within the fist. A moment passed before an eye cracked open, staring at Cassidy with a mixture of feelings; mostly leaning towards rage.

“Aw come on…” Cassidy muttered softly, “you’re the one who fell asleep first. That’s the rules at sleepovers.”

“I don’t understand.” Hanzo said softly. Cassidy merely smiled before he placed the cup on the floor, hitching his legs underneath, he fixed his position of sitting cross legged, fully facing the man.

For a moment, he guessed they could play pretend. They were just two teenagers, not two grown men barely fitting on a single bed. In a room that was more darkness than light. That they weren’t two incredibly broken men who would do anything in their power to reforge their past or to not exist entirely.

“You fell asleep first. Which means I gotta either draw a moustache on you or..”

“Poke my cheek?” Hanzo asked softly, Cassidy nodded before reaching forward again, poking the cheek. Hanzo merely stared with confusion. “You have weird traditions.”

“Yeup.” Cassidy pronounced with a wide grin, he was lying. It was a thing, but he just wanted to see Hanzo’s reaction. It was worth it, Hanzo smiled softly, and Cassidy tried to ignore how his chest bubbled with emotion, a mixture of fear and love.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” Hanzo muttered softly, “my room is..”

“Did you get into my bourbon stash?” Was merely joked back, Hanzo hummed softly before nodding.

“I’m..”

“Drunk or tipsy.” Cassidy felt his back straighten at the realisation. Was..Hanzo really drunk in his presence? Did he trust him that much. “Wait. You’ve never-“

“Drunk. Not in front of you.” Was muttered before the eyes slid shut, “I can go back-“

“No..no it’s fine.” Cassidy whispered, reaching a hand out and gently patting the shoulder, he wasn’t sure why, it just felt right. Hanzo wasn’t the type of fellow to drink without reason. And he was also the type to not openly discuss why. “Stay here. Sleep off the hangover. I’ll take the floor.” Hanzo didn’t reply, Cassidy gave it a few minutes before whispering the man’s name again. Silence reigned victorious. A gentle snort left him before he sighed. He was…a little too old to be taking the floor and well…the bed wasn’t that small. They could make it work.

“Making it work” didn’t work out as best as Cassidy thought it would. With his hat resting on the side and a mere loose white shirt covering him, he had repositioned Hanzo to merely be sleeping on his side. And as the cowboy laid down, he tried to ignore how his eyes wandered across the entirely of the soft face. Or how when Hanzo slept, his lips parted slightly, or how thick the eyelashes were. A gentle blush sat ontop of the cheeks and Cassidy couldn’t hold himself back. With slow and calculated movements, he leaned forward before closing the gap, gently placing a small kiss on the man’s forehead. It was simple, stupid. Definitely stupid. But Cassidy couldn’t help himself. He pulled away, before resting his head on the shared pillow.

“What was that for.” The man almost jumped out of his skin as the body beside him muttered, with eyes widened he couldn’t think of a response. “Chanto kisushite” the man muttered softly, Cassidy merely stared blankly, a nervous swallow filled the air as the other opened his eyes slightly before smirking, within moments, the small gap between the two become nothing. Hanzo’s lips gently brushed against Cassidy’s, white hot warmth burnt into his cheeks as their worlds collided. He hadn’t realised how badly he wanted this until the other man pulled away, with half lidded eyes, Hanzo merely looked up with an innocent expressed splayed across his face. Cassidy couldn’t help himself. The doors had been ripped open, and with it, whatever inhibitions had been thrown out the window. Cassidy launched himself forward, with lips colliding, hands easily dove within the tangles of hair, curling amongst the ponytail before pulling away the band, allowing it to easily tossle and slip between his fingers; a lake of dark hair splashed against the white sheets as Hanzo moaned within the kiss. It lasted a moment or two, the pair pulling away, searching each others face for a moment.

“Is this okay.” Cassidy muttered softly, his hands gently moving, giving soothing movements as Hanzo merely stared with an unknown response. “Hanzo.” He asked again, “you’re drunk..we can just…chalk it down to a-“

“I’ve wanted you ever since you saved me.” He whispered softly, “I wanted those hands to do more then save my life..”

“Would you say this to me sober?”

The multi million question.

“I’m not that drunk.” Hanzo whispered, his voice shaking slightly.

“I beg to differ.”

“Don’t make this difficult..”

“So you’re not-“

“Gay. No. I’m bisexual.” He said, the eyes darted away, as if he was ashamed of it.

“That’s fine..I’m. Gay.” Cassidy murmured softly, fuck. This was awkward. Did he make it difficult, was he. Or did he make it difficult when he kissed the man, or how his hands still rested in the man’s hair, how the pair of them didn’t want to move.

“We are both terrible at this.” Hanzo whispered, his eyes looked back to Cassidy who merely chuckled softly and nodded. “I haven’t been with someone for a while..” he admitted, the booze seemed to make his lips loose. “When I saw you, I didn’t want to admit it. I liked…”

“A white guy?” Cassidy asked softly, Hanzo stopped before looking away, a moment of silence easily danced between the two before he nodded.

“I was supposed. To be married to a woman of my culture. My identity to be carried through our lineage. But then..”

“I happened.” Hanzo nodded.

Cassidy didn’t mind filling in the gaps for the man, he merely gave a half chucked smile before his hands spread open, diving within the hair and gently moving, his thumb working in a circular motion as Hanzo merely closed his eyes, indulging in the touch.

“Instead of marrying a pretty woman, you’re drunk as a skunk in a cowboys bed. Ain’t a bad deal if you’re asking around..I’m quite a catch.” Hanzo chuckled softly before sighing, his eyes opening with a sense of wonder as he stared, drinking in Cassidy’s face.

“You’re funny.” He muttered before leaning forward, stopping for a moment, almost hesitant to kiss the man again, Cassidy decided to be nice, and close the gap. Gently connecting their lips, warmth merged against as the kiss grew. Slowly starting as an innocent, soft and sensual act. It grew with slight passion of undiscovered beauty. The hands nestled within the hair gripped tightly, as Cassidy gently pushed further into the kiss. He felt hands wrap around his waist, pulling him closer towards the warmth of the man, a gentle smile laced within the kiss and fuck. Cassidy had to pull away momentarily, his lips parted as he felt his chest tighten. Hanzo was just as much of a mess as he was, they couldn’t do this.

“I think-“

“I agree..” and Cassidy was grateful for it.

“How..what?” Hanzo asked softly as if asking for guidance.

“Do you want to sleep here tonight. We can just sleep, just.. sleep it off. See how we feel in the morning.” Hanzo nodded before leaning forward again, almost as if he was addicted to it, gently kissing the man again, this time lingering a moment longer before pulling away.

“You won’t disappear.” He whispered, Cassidy shrugged.

“Maybe..I don’t know.” But it seemed the joke lacked the effect he wanted it to have. The cowboy found his bed buried within the shoulder of the bowmaster, hands buried deep within the waist, grabbing at the soft pouches of fat as Cassidy merely sighed before burying his head into the crook of the neck. “Okay..fine maybe I’ll stay.”

“Thank you.” Was muttered into the night.

The pair didn’t talk about that night, they didn’t talk about how they both woke up tangled within each others arms, or how Cassidy had manage to slip out without disturbing the other, merely grabbing a glass of water and some painkillers for the throbbing headache he knew that would bless the other man. But Cassidy knew Hanzo appreciated not making it a big deal, they were just two broken men who wanted a moment of peace from their mental torments.

Chapter Text

“I didn’t know it was your birthday Hanzo! You should’ve said something, we could’ve made a cake.” Mercy said gently as she offered a smile, Hanzo merely looked with a face of confusion, his head tilted as he opened his mouth to say something before he was cut off by Hana.

“Woah! It’s your birthday, how old are you turning-“

“You can’t ask something like that!” Mercy scolded gently, the younger merely pouted before crossing her arms across the chest, she was covered in her classic bodysuit, obviously fresh from sparring. Mercy meanwhile was wearing a more casual outfit, her hair loose around the shoulders. Hanzo, he was unfortunately caught within the crossfire of it all, for once choosing to enjoy his breakfast of egg and rice within the confines of the kitchen instead of ignoring his needs and keeping to the sanctuary of the bedroom wing. He was regretting a lot of his choices.

“It’s not my birthday.” He concluded bitterly, easily shutting the two women down. “My birthday isn’t until next May.”

A lie. It was his birthday, today. They were five minutes early.

He was just creeped out. No one know his birthday, except for him, his brother. Genji. Who the last time he saw, was a horrid mess of robotics, merged together by will power and control. He hadn’t seen him since his trip home, when the brother had casually invaded and they played a deadly dance of swords. Hanzo swallowed the ball of anxiety as he tried to brush it off as a casual gesture, it was-

“Then why was this posted to you?” Mercy asked gently, Hanzo felt his soul leave his body momentarily as he looked at the card she held within her hands. It held a simple red balloon with the message of ‘happy birthday!’ It made him sick to his stomach. “I opened it- but merely by accident, I thought it was-“

“By accident plu-ease” hana replied with a rolling of her eyes, mercy merely gave a look of seriousness before the pair’s eyes returned to the ghost of the man that stood in front of them. “Woah..Hanzo you good? You look like my grandma when she sees her tax bill…” she joked lightly but her voice held an edge of concern. Hanzo couldn’t think, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t-

“Give it to me.” He muttered through the feeling of his mouth feeling like sand was pouring out not words. The rice stood sticky against his throat as he held a hand out. This was a joke. This was a joke. It was just a sick joke. A sick prank. It was just, it wasn’t a real birthday card.

It wasn’t right.

‘Happy birthday. Father would be proud of the life you live.’ Was written clearly within hiragana. Hanzo felt the world underneath him fall away, the handwriting was oh so familiar.

It was his.

The ground gave way, and with tears burning the edge of his eyes, his head swimming and with heavy feet, he pushed the chair back. With a uncanny sense of humour, it scrapped through the air as the two women stood, their faces holding a look of confusion and concern as the elder merely pushed past, with shuffled feet he ignored the cry’s of the two. He couldn’t hear them over the sound of pounding blood, over the sound of blades screaming against each other. His mouth held a metallic aftertaste as he tried to remember how to breathe. The footsteps easily grew into a small run as with humble hands, he made light work of the door. Tightly, his chest was wrung, feelings of panic as he growled as the door refused to open. A slamming of his fist against it, easily separated the metal as it slid open. A muttered ‘sorry’ was thrown back casually before he disappeared from the scene of the car crash.

“That was weird.” Hana replied simply, with a shrug. “Maybe it wasn’t his birthday?”

“I-I’m not sure…was i wrong to assume?” Mercy asked softly, her hand coming up to her chest as she nibbled within her bottom lip, feelings of anxiety rising like bile. She hasn’t intended to overstep a boundary..if anything she thought it was cute that someone had thought of Hanzo like that. It wasn’t a secret the location of the Overwatch headquarters, it was a well known location.

“Ahh don’t worry! He’s probably embarrassed that we said something!” Hana said with a smile, “you know Hanzo!“

He didn’t know what to feel, or what to do. So Hanzo did the most sanest thing he could do. The arch of the bow was cool against his hand as he wrapped his hands around it, a sigh before another hand reached behind, sinking below. With nimble fingers, he easily enclosed around the arrows; in a fluid motion, it was notched within the string and easily allowed to fly. It hit the silver robot with a satisfying shot, sticking out of the animated face sorely. Hanzo merely glared before he reached back again, repeating the motion.

Again. And again. And again; until his vision blurred and he felt the pain in chest slowly mount him like a rider to a horse. Until his hands ached from pulling at the string and until the ghosts of the past stopped lapping away at his core. He knew the man was dead. He was supposed to be dead.

“You have to balance the sword otherwise it will fall.” That was the words he had muttered to his brother when they were young. Their father was relentless, constantly yelling and shouting at them to get it right, to move as one. To be perfect and synonymous together. They were brothers, a single unity. Not separated.

“But what if I wanna use something different.” His brother asked innocently, large doe eyes stared at him as a pout was on the lips. Hanzo, being only a mere handful of months older bit at his lip anxiously before looking away. He didn’t know what to say, his father was asleep however. And…maybe learning a new skill wouldn’t be so difficult. A pawing at his sleeve caused his attention to drift back to the younger. “Hanzo..please.” Genji said, drawing the words out long before Hanzo’s self recognition crumbled.

“Okay- okay, but-“ he started to say before the other merely smiled widely, launching himself forward and with hands tightly around the waist, he merely muttered his thank you’s over and over again. Hanzo would be a liar if he didn’t bask within the glow of it, within the reach of his brother’s admiration. The pair spent the night together discovering and learning, for Hanzo he found himself drawn to the bow. The sleek and efficient design held easily within his palms. Meanwhile Genji allowed his fingers to trail around the pointed stars of metal. Smiles of eager delight and excitement were easily thrown, digging into the hard surface of the tatami mats.

The arrow got stuck in the robot. Hanzo merely sighed before lowering his weapon, with heavy strides, he walked to attend to the problem. What was so wrong with shooting an object. It was inanimate, designed for the sole purpose of creating a realistic view of weaponry. Yet, as Hanzo’s hand curled around the wooden splinter, and pulled it refused to give way. He wasn’t in the mood. He pulled again, it didn’t budge. A eyebrow twitched before it travelled to his upper lip, grinding his teeth; he merely pulled the hand back. Before it re connected, this time, slamming against the metal face and burying deep within. It left a cavernous dent. He growled before he could even stop himself, his fists slammed again and again and again and again. Until the creature had it pinned within his lower hind, fists curling upwards before diving back down. He released the fury of the divine within the darkness.

“I thought I told you!” Was yelled at him in the native tongue of disappointment, a harsh slap across the face easily sent the young boy to the floor. His knees barely moved as a hand pulled to his cheek. Bright teared eyes looked up at the grandfather who held a look of dented pride. “You are to learn the sword! Not this..this tom foolery. I thought I raised you right!”

“You did-“ the young Hanzo replied, his voice cracking as the tears fell past the barrier, dropping onto the beige floor below. Another harsh winter night lay waste to the summer sun, his cheek stung as he choked a sob back. The old man wouldn’t take mercy as a kindness.

“Liar.” Was merely spat at him before the sound of shuffling was heard. “You cannot be trusted with it anymore.”

“No.” Hanzo begged, “no- please!”

“I’m sending you back to the city. You obviously need to be reminded of the consequences to these actions.”

“Grandpa please!”

But it was in raw dignity he had lost his mind, for his grandfather was cruel. And had separated the two boys, when Hanzo returned within the next fall, hr barely recovered his skills. Only through rawness of embarrassment and fear, did he manage to overcome the road block.

Hanzo didn’t look at his reflection as he washed his hands in the sink, he didn’t look at the way the rust coloured liquid merged within the clear, a mixture of metal and glass hit the porcelain sink as he allowed himself to not feel anything. When the doors to the training area had opened, he had merely taken a step out before hearing a shocked gasp.

“Damn bro. Was it really that serious! I liked that little dude..” was heard, Hanzo bit back whatever rude remark danced across his tongue. It wasn’t their fault he was an ultimate walking fuck up.

The white bandages were wrapped tightly across his hands as he rubbed at them, he was perched at the edge of the bed. Basked within darkness, he found the solitude comforting. If he was to tell the truth, he knew his brother was alive. Alive being a key word to say, the mortal body lived but his soul was missing. Sharp pain cut across as his thumb dug deep within the bandage, watching as the blood pooled before spreading its wings outwards. He dug deeper, relishing in the pain before a sense of euphoric warmth overcome the feeling of fear. Deeper and harder he dug, allowing the bandages to sink within the flesh, a hiss before his mind finally caved. He separated the hand before looking away. Maybe he really was useless. Just a weapon, even then a shit one. He couldn’t muster the strength to argue, not today.

“Cassidy? Cassidy!” Mercy called as the brunette cowboy merely turned to her, a wide smile on his features.

“My lady in pink..how are we this fine morning?” He asked, his voice sultry as he lowered his head in a bow, fingers gripping the edge of the hat as she approached. Although a light blush danced across her cheeks, she offered a warm but concerned smile.

“Did you know it was hanzo’s birthday today?” She asked, Cassidy felt his smile drop horribly as he stared at her with a look of utter terror.

“That’s today.” He whispered softly, she nodded and smiled as if the world was still magical. And not as if it was totally on fire for the man. They had been dating for five months. On and off..scandalous scenes but never anything too….intense. Of course, pillow talk and midnight conversations were held between the two of them but never once did birthdays attend the conversation.

“Yes, I was thinking maybe we should do a chocolate cake..or a strawberry one! I wanted to ask Kiriko if there was a cultural cake he’d prefer..I feel vaguely inclined towards a traditional cake’” she said, her fingers coming up to make air quotes as Cassidy felt his stomach fall through to the ground.

“It’s today” he repeated again, mercy merely stopped her words before nodding, her head tilted slightly as she stared at the cowboy.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly, “you seem..pale.”

“It’s today.”

“Yes.”

“Fuck.”

“Language.”

“Sorry-“

“I take it you were unknown if it also?”

The comment alone made the man cough as he raised a fist, covering his mouth before staring at her with a wide eye look.

“What do you mean.” He managed to get out after a couple moments of quiet coughing.

“Well.” Mercy said before explaining what had occurred. How a mystery letter had arrived, addressed to Hanzo, the man’s reaction and how unfortunately the peril of the robot.

“Lucio was very upset about it, Hana even more so..I just don’t understand. He should’ve come to us and-“ mercy said before Cassidy merely held a hand to silence her gently.

“Mercy. I appreciate the effort, but this ain’t something you can fix over a cup of tea.” She merely gave a look of annoyance. “But..I think he’d like strawberry cake.” He couldn’t do it to her. He couldn’t break her heart like that, his mother unfortunately raised him as a gentleman.

“I will get started right away!” She said with a bright smile, her hands came upwards with a successful clap, Cassidy merely gave a little nod as she turned on her heel and strided towards the kitchen.

He wasn’t sure, this felt. Too personal. To..too personal. To fucking personal. “Fuck Hanzo..what shit you got me dug into now.” Cassidy muttered to himself as he looked down at his feet. He had..probably less then a couple hours to piece the mess together before the arch angel would be banging at the man’s door, surrounded by the others with a warm gooey cake in her hands. And he knew that although Hanzo wouldn’t deny her..he wouldn’t be pleased about it either.

Turns out, trying to muster the courage to talk a man he barely knew properly about his surprise birthday party they were both certain did not want to occur, was more difficult then asking Ashe if he could leave the gang. His fist had been hoovering above the man’s door for the last ten minutes, before he merely a muttered a quiet expression of curses, he pulled the fist away again for the fourth time that day.

“Hanzo.” He said simply, a moment of silence before he decided to bite the bullet, merely rapping his fist against the door and with a resounding crack, it rang out three times across the empty dimly lit hall. “Buddy-“

The door opened swiftly, Cassidy took a hesitant step back as he squinted his eyes to see into the room. There was a shadow, a mere flicker of the man. Bare shoulder stood to meet the crescent of the neck as mere cloth pants covered the man.

“What.” Hanzo growled, his voice deep and gravelly, Cassidy tried to ignore the goosebumps that travelled across his spine as he gave a small chuckle.

“Hey..glad to see you’re still with us..you uh..” his eyes travelled down to the toned and sculpted chest, trying to ignore how his mouth went dry at the idea of his hands splayed against the soft muscle, how Al though it seemed Hanzo was made from marble..every inch was soft and malleable, easily grazable. A desire to hold him was easily buried down as his eyes caught the glint of white wrapped around the hand. He wasn’t sure why, but on instinct, he rushed forward. Hanzo merely stood like a guard, allowing for Cassidy to grab and force the hand upwards. “The hell happened.” He muttered, it was unknown to him. Hanzo was a bow master, his hands were his pride and joy. But now they lay battered and bruised, blood soaked almost.

“I had a fight with a robot. It won.” Hanzo merely muttered before allowing his hand to be basked within the warmth before he pulled away roughly, ignoring the dejected look Cassidy gave. “What do you want.”

“It’s your birthday today-“

“So everyone keeps reminding me.” Was replied bitterly.

“Not a fan…I don’t blame ya- birthdays are weird, another year round the sun and yet life still ain’t improving huh” Cassidy merely replied, brushing the rejection away with ease. “You a fan of strawberries?”

“I’m a fan of being left alone.”

“You a fan of being a ass also” Cassidy muttered under his breath as he sighed heavily, the other man merely glowered before sneering at the comment.

“My patience is already thin. What do you want.” Hanzo growled, he didn’t want to be mean. But he was tired. And Cassidy had woken him from a deep sleep, he wanted to get back to it.

“You a fan of strawberries.” Cassidy asked again, this time slightly slower and taking his time to pronounce each word. The other man merely titled his head before grinding at his teeth, the weaponised incompetence was irritatingly obvious.

“What?” Hanzo asked to further clarify before Mcree sighed.

“Doc made you a cake.” He said gently, “I think. She actually put-“

“I don’t care.”

A slam of his fist against the side of the wall caused whatever sleep induced panic to be exuded quickly as Cassidy threw the man a dark look.

“Look. I can handle you doing your whole woe is me. I can handle your dark knight episode. But you do not. Screw her over.” He growled softly. “Her cakes are made with love and fucking rainbows. So you sit there and-“ but before the words could come out, immediately hands dove within the fabric and he found himself being flung against the wall neighbouring it. The air was exhaled quickly as with wide eyes, he stared at the beast in front.

“You do not. Get to judge me for my sins.” Hanzo muttered softly, “you..you of all people..”

“What’s that supposed to mean.”

Distant footsteps filtered through the air as the pair reached their natural conclusion, hanzo’s hand dug deeper into the orange fabric as he felt a sense of wallowing build intensely. Cassidy merely glared before finally snapping.

“What’s that supposed to fucking mean!” He said clearly, his accent punctuating through the air as clearly he was evidently pissed to a new extreme.

But the comment that left hanzo’s mouth left him frozen with a new feeling; a feeling of loss, of well relief that someone had put the exact emotion into a bundle of words he could understand. Ones he could repeat to the therapist that regularly haunted him, one that he could throw as a bone to the resounding echo of himself.

“You know what it feels like. To leave a forest fire knowing you have a bucket of water. And yet. You come to my door expecting a response of damnation. For what?” Hanzo muttered softly, “for a fucking strawberry cake from a woman I do not know. I have accepted worse offers of pity from people I know.”

“It’s not an act of pity” Cassidy said softly, he didn’t want it to end like this. “She-we really-“

“I don’t care what you think. In the end, it doesn’t matter.” He whispered, his hands dropped from the man’s chest before with a slump, he pulled away.

“None of it matters.” Hanzo whispered softly before his feet carried him back to the darkness of the room. “Leave me alone Cassidy.” And with a resounding conk. The doors shut, leaving the heart broken cowboy within the cold confines of the hallway, his mouth glued shut with frozen ice as he tried to ignore how tight his chest felt, how his nerves danced with anger and how he wanted to scream. How he wanted to yell the man’s name until his throat was raw, how he wanted to claw away at the barriers of self imposed exile.

He was really ganna do this. He was really going to break the docs heart.

What a bastard he was. But it made sense. He was already cruel. What more was another day of it.

Chapter Text

“Mo-chi” Kiriko said with a sigh as Cassidy merely gave an innocent expression of confusion.

“Mo cheese?” He repeated back the other woman merely exhaled a sigh of distress before throwing her hands up in the air, a beat passed before Cassidy gave a little chuckle before reaching out towards the small white plate that was held in front of the pair. Residing within a small hideaway from the Main Street, Cassidy leaned back into the wooden chair. It creaked under the weight of him, but he merely cast a look around. “Nah I’m just pulling your tail- ah-“

“Don’t.” Kiriko begged with a expression of wonton mockery, “please no-“

“Aw come on..we’re in your hometown!” He said with a laugh before quickly he quietened down, receiving a death look from an elderly woman sat a mere few meters away. He gave a smile before ducking his hair further under his hat, a rise of embarrassment at the new social ethics he had to follow.

“Fine. Just this once, and only because I know you probably have a book of them.” She said with a huff. A ping of her phone immediately grabbed her attention, looking down a manicured hand easily grabbed it, tilting it upwards and excitedly, pulling it closer to her. Fingers danced across the screen as she smiled, her cheeks turning a dusty pink as Cassidy merely raised an eyebrow at the sight. No one could blame him, it was just them two on the trip. It wasn’t even a trip..more a recon mission. And he’d promised mercy he would look after the young woman. Despite the protests that she had joined, not through needing a protector but instead being a guide.

“Everything alright.” Cassidy asked, Kiriko merely nodded before her expression changed to one of pondering. Anxiously biting her lip, she looked past the pink adorned phone case and at the expecting man.

“You’d be…okay if I left you here right?” She asked slightly hesitantly, “or in the hotel room?”

“Why?” Cassidy asked, his voice bordering on a fatherly tone, “are you planning on leaving an elderly man within a country that offers very very minimal English?”

“No- it’s just-“ she started to say before seemingly dejected she nodded, “you’re right. It was stupid-“

“What was stupid?” Was merely replied back.

The sound of gentle traffic danced behind them, waiters yelled out orders in the native language as the pair sat. When picking the coffee house, Kiriko merely picked it for the fact that they sold matcha and mochi, insisting that for Cassidy’s first meal in Japan, it to be a traditional one. At first, he was skeptical, the desert looked weird. Pudgy and sticky. Things he’d never normally eat under any circumstances. But here he was. Well technically it wouldn’t be the first thing he’d eaten, they had plane food but kiriko demanded it to be not classed as actual food, just for the sake of their trip. So Cassidy had obliged also because he did felt like he owed the woman a lot.

“There’s a friend here. I haven’t seen her in a while and-“

“A friend?” He asked before a wild expression ran over kiriko’s face before anger merged into a smile as she realised he was merely joking.

“Yes, a friend. She found out I’m here, I took a couple photos for my gram and only meant for my mom to see…but she saw it too.” She continued before sighing, “she really wants to meet..I can tell her-“

“You’ll go meet her.” Cassidy said simply, the girl stopped before staring.

A moment passed, a woman talked on the phone in Japanese as Cassidy merely reached a hand out, clutching the round dough and grabbing it. Easily placing it within his mouth, it was strawberry flavoured.

“Really.” She asked, before he nodded, it seemed it didn’t take much before kiriko was packing her things away. Erratically dashing them into her bag before standing up quickly. “Thank you thank you thank you!” She said with a big smile, Cassidy merely nodded before chewing and swallowing the treat.

“Go, before I change my mind” he said with a joking tone, she merely giggled before nodding. Giving a small wave and turning, she easily stepped around the unoccupied chairs and disappeared through the main entrance, leaving Cassidy alone again. He didn’t mind it. He welcomed it almost. He needed some time to think, to mull over what had happened within the recent days.

It’d been two weeks since their argument, and it was still raw. Maybe it was the desperation of Cassidy to try and make something of the scraps Hanzo tossed or maybe it was the way he’d pined outside the doors mere hours afterwards. Two plates holding the delicately white and red cake that held lace like decorations around the edge, how it split down the middle and was unsurprisingly made from rainbows and love. Cassidy had waited outside the door with the plates, his head resting against the neighbouring wall that resided him a mere handful of hours ago, but no one answered. The light that housed under the skimmed gap went out after the fourth hour of waiting, Cassidy had tried not to cry that night. He ended up camping outside, falling asleep eventually, his head resting on his forearms as his body curled inwards. When he awoke in the morning, the plates of cake were gone, a blanket easily thrown over him. Although the door was open, no one was inside. It caused a feeling of realism for the cowboy, that maybe just maybe, it really was over. He tried every day after, arriving with two plates of food and a few bottles of water. But each day was the same, he was in a mere company of ghosts; and every night was welcoming of the same ending. The plates would vanish, but he would be covered in a blanket. He found it slightly humerus, seeing each morning, he took the blanket; almost giving a challenge to the other man. How many blankets could he sacrifice? How many nights would pass until Hanzo cracked and finally opened the door to greet him, even to mutter hello? It wasn’t until the 13th night, on the dawn of the 14th did Cassidy awake to find the door was once again open, however. Everything was placed neatly, the man’s clothes were hanging and pressed. And the smell of incense was present. Cassidy had awoken with a sense of instinctive awareness, made even more present by the fact that a note had been left.

“I’m sorry.” Was merely written in the neat handwriting.

That was it.

That’s all the man left. A mere sorry note.

It took Cassidy only a few hours to piece the rest of it together, a quick search on the internet, maybe a couple tweaks into the system and he found out the truth. Hanzo had left, temporarily or permanently. He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure. But the man was gone, left for his home.

As Cassidy walked the streets of Hanada, he could see the appeal. It was clean, effectively organised and well, nice. It was homely almost and offered a sense of wonder. But, Cassidy preferred the rusted cars that stood at the edges of the dirt tracks, the smell of oil and the occasional rain that passed through. Running a hand over his face he yawned uneasily, he was tired. He hadn’t slept a wink on the plane to their new destination. Kiriko was out like a light as soon as she relaxed, Cassidy couldn’t. A 13 hour flight non stop, for his first journey in years. He’d spent it with his hands digging into the arm guards, his teeth shut tight and his breath uneasy. He couldn’t even drink, the look from the air steward was enough to signal she thought Kiriko was a partner. It made sense. They were on a trip to Japan. And he looked terrified. Wasn’t hard to put two and two together.

Kiriko had filled him in about it all, how the clan were basically evil. How Hanzo had to murder his brother and how eventually the family would try to get Hanzo roped back in, using excuses or blackmail. Cassidy never held it against Hanzo, he just wished the man had said something earlier. A few more words instead of “I’m sorry.” Would’ve helped to give more context. He wasn’t sure why, but he had a feeling deep within…here, he would find the man. However, tiredness lapped at his soul and urged within old wounds as Cassidy sighed, rubbing his eyes before groaning softly. He was so tired. Everything was a struggle. He wanted a nap, he wanted a drink. He wanted a lot of things. He currently resided luckily within the business side of town, with a quick glance around, the sign of ‘Swan in Tow’ was seen. He placed a bet mentally, there was a high chance it would be a bar. Or at least a better chance of possibly finding where a bar was.

“Do you think he’s a good man.” Kiriko had asked as they walked from the airport, a mere suitcase Cassidy dragged, while kiriko held her hands together nervously.

“I don’t know.” Cassidy had simply said. “It’s hard to judge someone for the wrongs of their past. Even more so if they’re trying to amend them.”

“Sounds like something he’d say.” She said softly, Cassidy scoffed as he realised she was right.

“Why’d you come with?” He asked in tow she sighed heavily before stopping for a moment. Cassidy stopped, a foot in front before he turned around to face her.

“I think..he’s complicated. But he’s good. I don’t know.” She admitted, “some part of me wants to hate him.”

“And the other part?”

“Wants to yell at him for leaving us and being stupid.”

Cassidy merely chortled at her comment as it seemed a weight was lifted from her shoulders.

“Ah, good morning sir!” Was cried out happily as Cassidy walked into the bar, he merely smiled and nodded, “what can I do for you today!”

“Know where I can get a drink?” He asked simply, the waiter smiled widely before nodding, her hand being offered outwards, pointing towards dark curtains that held closed by a gold leaf chain.

“Through here” she said before stepping in front and easily unlocking, with a fluid motion the curtains opened, revealing a wide room. Tables and chairs decorated in a dark plum colour stood, a bar stood towards the back of the room as Cassidy nodded and moved towards the threshold, easily crossing, he thanked the waiter before taking in the surroundings.

It was nice. Classy.

Definitely something he wouldn’t see himself in regularly.

“Your drink choice today sir” was asked politely as he nodded, he pointed at the bottle that stood proudly, a rectangular shape amongst the slim glasses. The tender nodded before easily grabbing it and pouring the amber honey into a glass, sliding it towards the man. He could see the cowboy lacked the strength to enjoy a show and merely wanted a stiff drink. Cassidy enjoyed the way it burned as it slid downwards, he enjoyed the way the club played soft music as he sat. He enjoyed the way his forearms rested against the cool top of the gold embossed edges and he further enjoyed how his back slouched, his posture defeated as he allowed a hand to rise, his head falling into it as he sighed. The shoulders dropped as he muttered a thanks to the non existent tender who had busied himself with another customer nearby.

The drink lasted a few sips before it was gone, burning at his throat and numbing the pain, he ordered another. Before another. And another. Until the number had blurred and maybe, sure yeah, he had a problem. Or maybe the alcohol here was weak. Or maybe, he was really. Really. Hurt. And he might’ve-. No. He didn’t.

That was a disgusting thought.

The cup slammed down on the side as he wiped his mouth, chucking a few notes that easily covered the bill, he stood up, ignoring his clumsy his motions were. His feet sloppily moved, he was tired. And drunk. And in a country he didn’t know.

He didn’t have his phone.

“Fuck.” He muttered softly to himself as he pushed past the ugly plum curtains, the original waiter had disappeared. He pushed past the doors and allowed the mid afternoon sun to completely burn away whatever sane thoughts lingered.

He hit up another bar, before another. And before he knew it, the sun had dipped away, leaving a dark midnight sky adorned with stars. He knew kiriko was probably worried or well hopefully distracted with her ‘friend’ that she wouldn’t worry too much, base it down to just, he was being a tourist. He’d know how to get home. Cassidy removed the cigarette from his lips as he exhaled the misty smoke. God this was embarrassing, he was drunk as a skunk, chain-smoking in a dodgy part of town, with not a care in the world. Maybe it was the fact that if he spent a moment of being sober thinking. He’d think about how soft hanzo’s hair was, or how gentle the eyes were. Or how stupid he looked when he pouted or how the man had killed his brother. Cassidy missed him. He just wanted to talk to the man.

Fuck he was a mess.

A total of a week was spent; half of it, Cassidy couldn’t tell what day it was. Kiriko tried not to nag, but she couldn’t ignore the way the man drank whiskey like it was water.

“He’s here somewhere.” Cassidy muttered under his breath as his teeth tore into the egg, kiriko merely sighed as she placed her chopsticks down.

“I asked around…asked my mom..they haven’t seen him.” She said softly, “I don’t-“

“He’s here. I know it.” Cassidy said, chewing aggressively before pulling away, crossing his hands over his chest. “I know him, he would come here.”

“Maybe we’re too late?”

The man looked at her as if she was crazy, she offered a smile before turning her gaze away, allowing it to become lost in the morning crowd of grandmothers and business men. A weird combination to outsiders but to her a casual observation.

“He’s here..he would’ve come here seeking answers-“ Cassidy stopped himself as the realisation sank in, “I gotta go.” He said, simply. Pushing the half eaten bowl away; he shot up to his feet.

“Don’t wait up for me.” Was merely muttered as he allowed himself to think clearly for the first time in days.

The journey to the mountainside was easy, shockingly easy. It seemed as though something was teasing him with the premise of his intuition. After an alarming conversation with the locals, they had indeed confirmed a man of a similar description to Hanzo had passed through the area. The old ladies at the small wooden but had chortled and whispered amongst themselves when Cassidy had produced the  photo of Hanzo, the man was embarrassed about it. He didn’t have any casual photos of Hanzo, only one that was sneakily taken when the man was asleep; his hair a ocean of black and grey swept across the sheets, cheeks delved into the pillows and his eyes tightly closed.

“Let me see!” One of the woman had asked, holding an old wrinkled hand out, Cassidy had merely shook his head.

“No-“

“Young boy, my eyes are too old. Do not be an ass…give it to me.” She said simply, Cassidy felt like he was back home again and merely complied, handing over the photo, she easily grabbed it before bringing it close to her eyes. “Mhm..” She muttered before sighing and shaking her head. “One moment.”

Cassidy merely nodded before watching as she made a motion of waving to the other woman, they approached, all clucked around the photo before muttering in a language Cassidy couldn’t understand. They gave a few looks back at the man as he stood sheepishly, looking away, uncomfortable. The area surrounding them was a stark contrast to the sublime landscape of cityscape; it was a canvas of green, bushes and large trees merged within grey stables.

“You.” Was heard as Cassidy’s attention was brought back to the women, a new one had appeared, she look significantly older and dressed differently. Her eyes were narrowed as she passed the photo of Hanzo back. “Storm coming.” She said before pointing at the grey steps behind that allowed passage into the main mountainside.

“Oh-Kay?” He said with a smile before nodding and titling his hat, “thank you kindly”

“Storm is coming!” She yelled again as the leathered boot stood on the first step, the man cast a look behind him as she glared, a hand pitched at the sky. “Storm!” She yelled again before Cassidy stared with a mixture of confusion.

He nodded before pointing his own finger up at the sky, “storm?” He repeated back and she nodded, before allowing her hand to drop down.

“Storm.” She muttered again, eyes wide before she turned on her foot, seemingly disappearing into the hut. Cassidy merely shook his head sighing soflty.

“I hate this place.” He muttered under his breath, it felt as though it was a test. One that he’d possibly failed.

Cassidy was right. He hated this place. He loved, well. That was a wide word to use. Tried, he tried to love the place. He tried to enjoy the way his boots slipped in the soft mud, how he reached out to grab at stones and cursed as he felt his back slip in places he didn’t know existed. He tried to ignore how sweat bruised his eyes, or how everytime he swiped at it, exposing himself to further discomfort, he really did try to love the humidity, the smell of sweat and the feeling of being ‘one with nature’.

“Fuck Hanzo…” he muttered, “fuck this stupid place..” he continued, mostly rambling to himself as he continued to push through. It’d only been a hour, and already the weight of his backpack was getting to him. He hadn’t even packed much; spare ammo, a spare shirt, some deodorant and a bottle of now empty water. The white cotton shirt and black loose pants he currently wore was soaked with a mixture of mud and sweat. He was severely under prepared for this. Surrounded by nature, literally. The cowboy easily growled and swatted at it like a cat being denied its favourite toy. Lavish green bushes that sculpted the area, grew around the stone slabs that offered him further protection into the unknown.

Cassidy wasn’t sure how long he’d spent within the landscape of greenery, he was so tired of the colour. A hand reached up to wipe against the sweat on his brow as he huffed, taking a pew on-top of a stone step. He was so tired. He ached in places, and he wondered if this was all worth it. The only thing he had to go off was a rumour from one of the locals. Upon the very top, there lay a dragon statue. It was a myth, a legend. A multitude of things, but no one had really climbed to the top…and if they had. They kept quiet about the secret of it.

“Hanzo…you better be up there you-“ he mumbled to himself before the crunching of gravel was heard. His head whipped to the side as he saw the person, he was dressed within a weird attire. Hiking gear adorned his entire body, a dark green material with strips of black. And a mask seemingly covering the face, the man stopped for a moment staring at Cassidy almost shocked someone was on the trial also.

“Oh.” The man spoke before nodding his head, “I didn’t realise”

“Yeah..it’s a fun trail. Definitely reviewing this as a 5/5 experience” Cassidy said with a wide grin. The other stranger merely nodded before he pressed on. Feet crunching against the steps as he quickly passed the other cowboy. Cassidy gave it a good ten minutes before pushing himself upwards, deciding to pull himself together and re challenge the mountainous climb.

“Green…green…more fucking green..” he muttered to himself as he finally sighed heavily, dropping his shoulders down the man let out a exhaustive sigh. It wasn’t until he stopped for a moment before lifting a head and turning, did he apprehend the sight in front. Yellows and oranges slipped through the haze of smoke as his eyes widened. Grey clouds easily formed over the expanse, peaks of mountains could be seen from the edges. Birds easily whooshed and soared as he gave a half assed smile at the sight. “Maybe this was worth it.” He thought to himself before mustering the courage to keep moving.

The steps came easier, less painful than before. His breath not as weak as he trudged through the sense of doom, he was doing it. Accomplishing something he never-

“Hanzo.” Was heard as clear as a bell as he stopped, his head spinning as the name seemingly came from nowhere.

“Have you thought about what I said?”

      “I do not speak to ghosts.”

        It was Hanzo.

Cassidy could recognise that voice from anywhere. He could recognise it in a crowd of people, all muttering and speaking at once. He could recognise it, even years or even decades of being separated. He was here.

“I am not a ghost brother.” The voice replied back, Cassidy felt his head spin as he swallowed nervously, he took a few cautious steps toward the sound. Peeking a head up, the scene became apparent. Almost like a nosey neighbour, he remained inscrutably quiet. There standing towards him was the man that had passed. He held a sword casually within his hand. The stranger stood merely in front of, whom he guessed, Hanzo. Behind them both, across a sea of blue sat the infamous grey statue. It was off two dragons, one with the throat of the other within its jaws, both were scrapping against each other. It was a fearsome battle.

“Shut up. You may use his voice. His body..but you aren’t him.” Hanzo merely replied, it seemed his back was previously against the other as now it rang out clearly.

“You know that is not true. I do not hold a grudge-“

“Shut up!” Was yelled, the sound of the bow being notched was heard before the whistling accompanied it. The stranger dodged to the side while Cassidy tucked his head down, slamming his back against the cobbled stones and breathing a sigh of relief. Who was this man, why had he gotten Hanzo so worked up. 

“Brother..please. I only wish to find peace between us.” The stranger continued, however it sounded like Hanzo had other plans. Whistling met with a blade as arrows flung to the side, falling off the edge of the case and down by Cassidy’s feet.

“There is no peace. No honour…it is gone.” Hanzo replied. “You..you are a poor impressionist.”

“I am none of the words you say I am. You are a hollow shell of the man I used to know!” Was easily spat back.

Oh..they were definitely brothers by blood..

“How dare you!” Hanzo cried out before a growl was uttered from him, a blade met the wood as the men scruffily hit the ground.

Cassidy couldn’t deal with this anymore.

But at the same time. The family drama was exhilarating.

God he sounded like Ashe.

A punch before a groan was heard, another punch before the crunch. A groan, a punch and then silence.

Cassidy wondered if one of them had killed the other. He waited with bated breath before turning on his tip toes, his hands reached out to the top before he lifted himself up slightly to peek.

The pair were both laying on the ground, Hanzo had a hand over his face while the stranger merely laid there. Both chests panting like rouge dogs.

“Brother-“

“No.”

“Why not.”

“Because. You are not my brother..I am not yours..we both died a long time ago.”

“You’re right. But wrong.”

“I am never wrong.”

“You are. Many times” the stranger replied.

Cassidy didn’t know what to do, he’d found the man he’d spent weeks looking for, but now.  It didn’t feel like a successful hunt. It felt cheap…easy. But he couldn’t go back, he couldn’t leave-

A heavy exhale was heard as the sound of gravel crunched under his feet and before he knew it, Cassidy moved with the fullness of his breath, hitching upwards, he overcome the terrain.

“You boys done scrapping like a bunch of teenagers?” He asked with a chuckle, the reaction was overwhelmingly immediate. A sword at his throat while a bow was easily pointed at the strangers head.

“Do not even-“ Hanzo muttered before the strangers head tilted to the man.

“Why, do you like him?” A hint of humour danced along the tone as Hanzo snarled, the bow becoming taught as he titled his head, signalling he was not afraid. “You would kill me-“

“You are already dead!” Hanzo yelled, “I am-“

“Protecting a white man-“

“Hey! I’m part Mexican for your in-“

“Shut up cassidy!” Hanzo yelled at the man, for a moment his gaze drifted onto him and despite the anger, the fear. There was another emotion; hope. But it seemed the momentary distraction was enough, the sword user raised it and before it was swung, Cassidy easily dived between the legs of the open gap. Grabbing onto his hat, he winced slightly as he rolled up. With a gun cocked at the stranger, he threw a smirk to the man.

“You’re skilled..what are you..an assassin?” He asked, the other stranger sighed heavily before with a flourish, the sword was twisted and sheathed back within its original place.

“I am.” The stranger said simply, his gaze seemingly burning into the man as Cassidy stood his ground. “You are..”

“No one. Just a guy passing through.”

“Weird looking guy.” The stranger said, Cassidy merely scoffed before it devolved into a chuckle.

“You’re one the speak. Why the mask? You scared women will be scared off by your good looks.” Cassidy said simply. He wasn’t in the mood to tease the man, especially given the insane speed he could move. Cassidy liked his other hand thank you very much.

The man stared before a loud laugh was ripped from him, causing Hanzo to stare at them both, before eventually the stare was ripped away. The bow user turned on his feet before returning to his place, below the dragon.

“You are funny American.” The sword master said with a chuckle. “Very funny…I hope to see you again soon. You’d make for an interesting duel.”

“I hope to see you too, you look like you’d be cute begging for your life”

“Hah..I have already been there and done that.” The man said, the humour dying from his voice before he nodded. And within an easy movement, he jumped into the air before diving downwards. Disappearing from sight.

“What..the actual fuck Hanzo.” Was the first words to leave Cassidy’s mouth as silence dance for a moment. “You disappear off the face of the-that was your brother?!” 

“Silence!” Was cast, Cassidy felt his voice easily disappear as hanzo’s boomed across the small space. “I am tired! Of people telling me what to do, how to feel!” He yelled, his voice shaking slightly at the edges as he tried to hold it in. “You either shut up or leave me alone!” His head looked back, casting a glare of annoyance as Cassidy raised two hands to signal his obedience.

“Okay” Cassidy whispered softly, as if the man was a rabid wolf. “I hear you..” he slowly approached, taking small steps before reaching beside the man. Peering over Hanzo’s shoulder, he could see what was happening. The man had set out a table offering; two tea cups filled with a green misty liquid sat as Hanzo kept his hands within his lap, muttering within the native language of the land. Cassidy waited for a moment before taking a seat, he awkwardly moved, bending his legs underneath before reaching his palms to stabilise himself. Trying to ignore the side look of annoyance from Hanzo, he pushed back onto his feet before sitting appropriately. With a satisfied smile he looked over to see Hanzo had reached forward.

“With this, I honour you.” He muttered, before his hands reached around the cup. He poured the liquid out allowing it to flow within the soil underneath. Cassidy merely watched as the hand placed the wooden cup down before reaching to the next. It lifted to his lips before the liquid was gone within moments. “And with this..I ask for guidance” he continued before placing the cup next to the empty one. Cassidy merely watched in bewilderment as reality dawned on him.

“You weren’t planning on coming back were you?” He asked softly.

Hanzo stilled for a moment, his eyebrow furrowing together as he mulled over the question.

“I was.”

“Liar.” Cassidy muttered softly. He could hear the mask cracking under the strain of it all. For fucks sake he knew every inch of hanzo’s soul.

“Do you want the truth.” Hanzo whispered softly.

“Yes.”

A lie. He didn’t.

“I wasn’t going to come back. I had no need to.” He whispered.

Cassidy felt whatever pieces of his heart were left, shatter and dug deep into his stomach.

“There is nothing for me to return to. I have lost everything. I am a worth-“

“Stop it.” Cassidy whispered. He didn’t dare look at the man cos if he did, his world would crumble. “Stop it. Don’t. Don’t fucking say that.”

“Why not. It is the truth.” Hanzo muttered. “I have no family. No clan, no life. Nothing. Not even god will forgive me for my sins.”

“Let me.” Cassidy whispered, his eyes closed as his fists curled inwards, digging painfully into his lap. “Let me forgive your sins and wash them away. Can we not exist within the background of the blazing forest fire and accept our fate with dignity?” He wanted to say, but of course. His words failed him.

“You idiot.” He muttered instead, and before Hanzo could reply, a fist was raised and immediately colliding with the side of his cheek. It sent the native to the floor as with a shocked face he looked up, only to see another fist hitting the other side.

“You-you fucking idiot!” He yelled, “did you really think that! Do you!” He cried out, his voice shaking as he raised a hand only to stop, he hadn’t even done much but yet Hanzo was a bloodied mess. He looked with a sense of dejection and despair, as if this was his punishment. “Tell me.” Cassidy pleaded but he didn’t get a response. Cassidy merely lowered his fist, before sitting back on his hind legs, Hanzo merely turned his head to the side to cough the remaining blood out of his mouth.

“What are we even.” Cassidy merely mumbled. “Do you love me? Or was it just…some meaningless little fling.”

He didn’t want Hanzo to answer. Cos then it would’ve meant the person leaving the blanket on him, the person who took the plates of food away. The person who shared little glances across the room, the one who read to him, who gently ran a finger over his knuckles. All of it. Was nothing. It was just, passing looks. A meaningless game of a thing. Something they couldn’t place not officially, not within their borders of emotionally distance.

Just a thing.

“I do love you.” Hanzo whispered softly, Cassidy closed his eyes as he shook his head. “I love you with my entire being. It’s easy as breathing.” Hanzo said with a smile, his head turning to face the man. “But you cannot love a man who is destined for hell. We will never be reunited.“

“I don’t care about that.” Cassidy muttered, his eyes still closed. He didn’t want to open them, he didn’t want to acknowledge that he could feel hanzo’s hand on his cheek, seeking a comfort only he could give. He didn’t want to acknowledge that he’d travelled so many miles across the world, almost killer himself from alchemy and just trekked several hundred miles through a labyrinth of green. But he had wanted this. He wanted this confession, to finally put an end to the unknown.

“I do.” Hanzo whispered, his large hand gently moved against the cheek feeling the thick side burns. “I cannot love knowing you are doomed by my actions.“

“You do love me?” Cassidy muttered, his eyes opening gently as he couldn’t help himself but lean into the touch. His own hand reaching up, pushing it further into his cheek.

“I am a selfish man.” Hanzo muttered, a series of emotions ran across his face as he sighed. “But I cannot love you fully.”

“because you’ll doom me?”

“Yes.” Hanzo whispered.

“Then doom me. I already got a ticket…might as well have a good enough reason to meet the devil myself.” He said with a grin, Hanzo could feel it. The feeling of overwhelming, uncontrollable sadness. The feeling of unconditional love and acceptance.

“I cannot.” He whispered trying to hold back the tears that escaped, as they dropped past the ridges of his cheekbones, Cassidy merely nuzzled the hand before pulling away, kissing the palm and working his way up to the tips of the fingers.

“Why not.” Cassidy whispered, his eyes staring at the man with a look of desire and lust. For who was he to deny it.

It was finally out in the open.