Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

2:23 AM, 10/17/2024

Wrath: It’s like saying wearing a cowboy hat is appropriation

                                                                                        ❤️

Pride: you don't even gotta know the guy just post the question on tumblr
          (Wrath) i love yapping w you and in general but it MIGHT be time to go to sleep
          guys im sucha yapper
          i love having civil debates i miss congress
          those werent civil _____ tried borderline bombing mexico if they didn't let us deal w the cartel
          odd guy he helped me my first comp figure things out very funny very demure very mindful i gota stop sayinh yhat
          good night (Wrath) lmao sleep well or dont

Wrath: Well I’ll speak to you after (The Heavenly Virtues) and (Envy) get a chance to catch up

                                                                                                                                            ❤️

Pride: ngl if they back read ill be surpised
          did i say antyhign in there ill get interrogated for maybe not
          i think not

Wrath: Good night everyone.

Pride: damn why the punctuation
          good night lmao

                                  ❤️

Chapter Text

12:29 PM, 10/14/2024 

The Heavenly Virtues: chat send help

Pride: elaborate

Wrath: Help

The Heavenly Virtues: this group of kids won’t stop chanting

                                                                                              2❤️

          we have a rule specifically against chanting too

Pride: LMAO bribe them with not having time out idk

Envy: yell at them

The Heavenly Virtues: and we’re watching bluey rn i can’t take this

                                                                                                      ❤️

Envy: emotional traumatize them

The Heavenly Virtues: if i hear the theme song one more time

Pride: lmao put berzerk on screen

                                                    ❤️

          is that the batshit crazy one

Wrath: Bluey is based, you can’t change my mind

Envy: put promised never lands on

                                                      ❤️

Chapter Text

Date and Time???

Pride: You’re super cool (Wrath) love having you here 😔‼️‼️

          Tell me youre mentally stable

Wrath: Bro.

Pride: You have stated mutliple times youd kill youself after graduation and youre a synth player now idk what about that says stable but go off ig 😭

          I will also scroll through our messages there is more than one occurrence of mental unstable ness in there probably

Wrath: I can’t believe I’m being stereotyped over being a synth player

                                                                                                            ❤️

Pride: NO BC THE ONLY OTHER SYNTH PLAYER I KNOW IS LIKE SO SWEET ITS JUST YOU

          YOURE JUST ILL BRO

          Maybe thats too straight forward

Wrath: It’s just you and me

Pride: I need to code out my hw and i really dont want to

          😭

Wrath: Crazy person vs not crazy person

Pride: YOU WONT BE UNHAPPY AND IF I COULD ID MAKE A DEAL W GOD

Wrath: Clearly the writings of a sane person

                                                                   ❤️

Chapter Text

Date and Time???

(A photo of the woods is sent to the chat)

The Heavenly Virtues:I might be lost lol

        whoops

Envy:girl

        how

The Heavenly Virtues: terrible sense of direction

Envy:no shot you just wandered into the woods

The Heavenly Virtues:nah

        my parents would be so pissed if i died out here

        ok never mind we’re good

        hell yeah

        wait no wtf

Envy:check maps?

        might help

        idk i don’t go outside

The Heavenly Virtues:wait no we’re good again

        i think that’s the trail

        never mind folks

Pride: Bro how the hell??😭

The Heavenly Virtues:false alarm i’m safe

Pride: Im glad

The Heavenly Virtues:we can pretend that never happened

        right

Pride:nah

        Im sorry i had a shock there might be alcohol in the cake we bought lmao

        Guys can i get drunk on a piece of cake??

The Heavenly Virtues:who’s tryna poison you

Chapter Text

Daye and time:???

The Heavenly Virtues: i’m in the most Heavenly Virtue coded place rn

        art museum in the middle of nowhere

        surrounded by sculptures and mountains and trails in the woods

Pride:why are you in vermont

The Heavenly Virtues:if i wanted to disappear here i could literally just start walking

          (The Heavenly Virtues sends a photo)

          so much wandering of space

Pride:wait why is it actually in the middle of nowhere lmao

The Heavenly Virtues:everywhere in vermont is the middle of nowhere

Pride:ok fair lmao

Chapter Text

20/10/2024 at 12:37am

Wrath:What if I just get sick for states

Envy:boooooo

        don’t do it

The Heavenly Virtues:i fear mr band director will kill you

Wrath:He’s kidnap me for this band

The Heavenly Virtues:and you would be on a hit list for most of the band

Wrath:Season ruined because we put too many eggs in one basket

Envy:i fear that you would be in the hospital and mr band director would drag you out on a stretch for you to play

The Heavenly Virtues:if your hands still work you can do your job

Envy:i fear the even if you hands don’t work he will still fine a way

Wrath:Give me the neurolink so I can play the sound effects with my mind

        Honestly that would make me so good at my job

The Heavenly Virtues:i’m sure we have the budget for it

        you’d never be able to miss a cue

Wrath:I would

        I would just forget

The Heavenly Virtues:although you would probably accidentally trigger them with the power of intention

Wrath:If I even think about trolling

        Its over

Chapter Text

2:36 PM, 10/20/2024

Pride: Guys please tell me the 2 guests to left kudos are (The Heavenly Virtues) and (Wrath)

          Who left kudos at 9 AM what

          Guys im scared

          (Envy) WHY DID YOU TAG SUBTLE FORESHADOWING???

          Guys why do i yap sm i just scrolled back there are walls of text by me im so sorry?? 😭

          Lmao

The Heavenly Virtues: please never stop

                                                             ❤️

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Pride: Guys please tell...

          so the answer is no

          only one of them is me the other is a mystery

Pride: Oh!

          Oh what the fuck 😭

          Guys we have our first fan Lmao

The Heavenly Virtues: oopsy

Pride: We should officially become those pretentious microcelebs but just on AO3

          Yeah guys we just got one kudos

          [PNG Tikok Smirking Marshmallow Emoji]

          Lmao im so sorry i kind of love the tiktok emoji its so stupid

The Heavenly Virtues i love tiktok emojis so much

                                                                              ❤️

Pride: Please tiktok let me use them day to day i PROMISE there wouldn't be a moment i send a text w/o it 🙏

Chapter Text

25/10/2024 11:32 PM

Pride: Envy in the oddest way possible if you and (The Heavenly Virtues) were one person and ______ and _Charcoal_ were one person you would be like

          the same person

          ykwim

Envy: damn

Pride: like

Envy: i feel insulted

Pride: idk how to explain it

          no dont be insulted i love them

The Heavenly Virtues: i am uncomfortable with that

Pride: _Charcoal_ fr fucking went "yeah i know im not passing i just wanna like look hot or sexy idk" wtf does that mean. What? who says that??

          like irl??

          guys i didnt knwo people said things like that in real life im so confused

          everything that people say here is like what please fuckging think abt what you saifd

          BUT ITS THE SAME W ME THEY GIVE ME THAT LOOK LIKE NO

          YOURE IN THE WRONG

          WHAT

Envy: it's called being white

Pride: WDYM I CANT MAKE PLATONIC MARRIAGE JOKES BUT YALL CAN TALK ABT IDK YOUR WEIRD FUCKING THINGS

          oh wait

          wait youre so right

          WAIT OMG IS EVERYONE IN THE GUARD WHITE

          no no

          theres _____ and _____

          and me

          and thats it

          oh

The Heavenly Virtues:neat!

Pride: GUYS IT IS A WHITE THING

The Heavenly Virtues: yes it is i fear

Chapter Text

Pride: wait i should continue watching my shoe

Pride replied to Wrath: Which one?

          Show*

Chapter Text

Pride: Why do you have that!

The Heavenly Virtues: cause they’re so fun

Pride: guys wait i understand the use of exclamation marks it doesn't make me hate it less but still

                                                                                                                                                          2❤️

        i get like slightly agitated seeing myself send them too its so silly

The Heavenly Virtues: you’ll be converted one day

Pride: i really wont theyre so passive aggressive yk lmao

The Heavenly Virtues: that’s the point

Wrath: One day you will have an exclamation epiphany

Pride: I DONT LIKE THE POINT

Wrath: |

        Better?

Pride: wtf is that lmao

        |

The Heavenly Virtues |||

Pride: Why is it like

        Almost as bad

Envy: i fear i think it’s worse

The Heavenly Virtues: what an excellent observation|

Pride: Oh PLEASE put it away

          It is worse

          Youre right (Envy)

The Heavenly Virtues: gotcha|

Wrath: Absolute value sign might be here to stay

Envy replied to The Heavenly Virtues: gotcha|

          kys

Chapter Text

Wrath: The gamba got to me 

Pride: lmao damn

Wrath: I had to 

          I had to

          I’m sorry

          It had to be done

Pride: Bro???😭

Wrath: I shouldn’t have

          No

          No

Pride: ?????

Wrath: Mistakes were made 

Pride: is this why gambling is haram 

          lmao

Wrath: This can’t be forgiven

Pride: what am i watching rn bro you good 😭

Wrath: I’m becoming the very thing I swore to hate 

          What have I done

The Heavenly Virtues: ill behavior 

Wrath: No no no

          You don’t understand 

          I had to

Pride: i fear we really dont

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Wrath: I had to

          they all say that

Wrath: It needed to be done

          I needed to do it

The Heavenly Virtues: instead of facing the truth 

Wrath: I can see it now

          The gates of heaven are closing upon my soul

The Heavenly Virtues: oh!!

Wrath: Twas a mistake

Pride: i hope you can somehow hear my sigh of disappointment from 30 miles away 

Wrath: Oh what have I done

Chapter Text

The Heavenly Virtues replied to themselves: ok the gang that’s pulling up to (Wrath)s house in an emergency is (Synth2), (Snare), me, (Envy), and Mr. Band Director

         this feels like a stranded on a desert island senario

                                                                                        ❤️

Pride: lmao fr tho like imagine being stuck on an island with those people

Wrath: Would be so silly we would all die

                                                              ❤️2

The Heavenly Virtues: i would kms i fear

          actually no we would make it work

          Mr. Band Director would handle logistics

Envy: i fear the show would not show

                                                          ❤️

          (Mint) dancing with air

The Heavenly Virtues: (Synth2) could build a treehouse or smth

Envy: how would that help

The Heavenly Virtues: (Snare) could go fishing idk what can he even do

                                                                                                          ❤️2

Wrath : (Synth2) and (Snare) can do manual labor I guess

                                                                                      ❤️2

          I feel like Mr. Band Director is the only one who actually would know what to do

Envy: guys all my fuck ass survival bullshit i learned in (random summer camp) might help

Wrath: Or he might just give up

Pride: id give up imagine being stuck w 5 ill band kids

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Wrath: (Synth2) and (Snare)...

          they could build a giant fort

Envy: and like that one fuck ass Christian away camps

                                                                                  ❤️

The Heavenly Virtues: i kinda cook in the woods guys

Envy: i fear i think you would be first to die

                                                                  ❤️

The Heavenly Virtues: i’m like not useless there

Wrath: This prompt will entertain us until midnight trust

Pride: no actually wait go to sleep

The Heavenly Virtues: no trust i’m actually outdoorsy

Envy: i feel like you get a fever and die like not lack of survival instincts

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues: I kinda cook...

          no (The Heavenly Virtues) i fear you become delusional in the woods according to the real life statistics every time you text us once you enter them

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            ❤️

The Heavenly Virtues: NO I HAVE OK STATS IN THE WOLDS

          IT WAS JUST THAT ONE TIME

          i even have a decent sense of direction in them

Pride: Mhm.

The Heavenly Virtues: and my body isn’t falling apart like the rest of them

Wrath: I am unfortunately yet to build a bear proof stick tent

Envy: guys i fear i would be the one lost

Pride: oh well thats true

The Heavenly Virtues: like Mr. Band Director can’t even lift his hand above his head

                                                                                                                                ❤️2

Envy: (The Heavenly Virtues) can tell how bad my sense of direction is

The Heavenly Virtues: and (Envy) is just ill

Wrath replied to The Heavenly Virtues: Like Mr. Band Director cant...

           That’s what (Synth2) is for

Pride: guys wait who would die first

Envy: guys i could crack coconuts

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Wrath: That's what (Synth2)...

           do the rest of us not have a full range of motion??

                                                                                        ❤️2

Envy: and build a boat and like build stick tents

Wrath replied to The Heavenly Virtues: Do the rest...

           Who would Mr. Band Director trust realistically

The Heavenly Virtues: would i have to be planner would Mr. Band Director fail us

Envy: and like leaf beds

The Heavenly Virtues: no i could collect leaves to munch on i can identify a slightly above average on the east coast

                                                                                                                                                                                    ❤️

Envy: it was kinda goofy that one of the test at (random summer camp) was to build a water proof like stick tent that could fit 4 people

The Heavenly Virtues: guys i was about to go to bed

Pride: guys how could you distract (The Heavenly Virtues) from their beauty sleep 😔

Wrath: My planed sleep time was two hours ago

                                                                        ❤️2

Pride: Oh!

The Heavenly Virtues: same here

Pride: damn ok go sleep children good night!

The Heavenly Virtues: if i’m gonna be an emotional reck most of tomorrow i should be rested

Pride: i never say good night like that ive been staring at it like that looks so wrong let me try again

Wrath: Good night my fellow patriots

The Heavenly Virtues: sleep tight my dears 

Pride: gnnnn : D

The Heavenly Virtues: don’t let the bedbugs devour

Pride: or the weird beach bugs cause apparently youre all stranded there ig

The Heavenly Virtues: (Pride) don’t start up the prompt again i could go for hours

Pride: lmao mb mb

Wrath: For the record, (Snare) would probably die first

                                                                                  ❤️3

Chapter Text

4:42 PM

Pride: yk what i think about a lot

          so many people commit tax fraud

          like common people

          its really funny to me

The Heavenly Virtues: absolutely hilarious

Chapter Text

Pride: Guys are some people inherently born evil

          Or just bad

          The answer is no right

Wrath: No

          They aren’t evil

          Perhaps in need of guidance

          But not evil

Pride: But what if they keep refusing it idk like no matter what they wanna stay the way the are

          Like what happens then 

Wrath: We can’t expect them to simply know what is or isn’t moral

Pride: But they should

Wrath: Then they are stubborn and perhaps foolish

          But not evil

Envy: evil is a very strong word

Wrath: To be evil is to understand that you are committing wrong

Pride replied to Envy: evils is a very strong word

          It is

Envy: like very few people are inherently evil

Pride: I dont really mean evil

          I just mean

          Idk 

          Bad

          Mean wrong if

          Ig

Wrath: Bad is very difficult to define though 

          Line what constitutes being bad

Envy: i still think it’s the same as like no one’s born one way or another but they are shaped though their life choices

Wrath: They are shaped by the decision they make right

Pride: But what if they are like just born some way like what if someone is a narcissist

Envy: and that being bad itself depends on the person veiwong

          like narcissist mental disorder or like narcissist type people

          or i guess it’s been so overused it’s not a medical condition anymore

Pride: Definitely a medical condition doesn’t have to be diagnosed to know that

Wrath: Well is narcissism a reasoning issue or inherent to one’s mind

Pride: All the above how about that

Envy: i feel like if you are called out multiple times and chose to ignore it and not care about the opinions of other then you may be a not good person

Wrath: Inherent narcissism is bad, but not evil

          I understand why you did it, but I can’t justify your actions

Pride: Well thats all i need to know

          I can’t understand and i dont want to and i never will

          Theres no if or but to that

Chapter Text

The Heavenly Virtues: chat should i read the entire DSM-5

           like that would be a great use of my time

           guys psych is cooking me

Chapter Text

Pride: Mint is somehow on maybe to die for loose and thats like 2 people - Mint

          Then my family is on the definitely to die for list bc my family

          Dont ask why i have a to die for list 

          Thats probably bad of me actually but its fine

The Heavenly Virtues: you see wouldn’t die for my parents cause i know that would destroy them and all

          parents would not survive 

          brother is on the to die for list i’d say

Pride: Its both selfish and selfless to do that because like one you want to let them live but then they have to deal w the guilt maybe survivor ever 

          But i know my mom and family would try to like die for me so i would do that for them too

The Heavenly Virtues: i know my parents they would aggressively disapprove like would not forgive me

          so in most circumstances excluding them

          honestly my die for list isn’t that exclusive

          that’s probably a bad thing 

          like maybe even Wrath makes that list 

Pride: Mine is in all 7 people 

          HONESTLY MAKE THAT 8 FOR WRATH ‼️‼️

The Heavenly Virtues: like i’d be chill sacrificing myself 

Pride: Thats so not ok of you what lmao

          Endearingly 

          Seek help

          And therapy 

          Should definitely be a bit more exclusive

Tha Heavenly Virtues: you know yeah that sounds bad for me whoops

Pride: Like a few people and family

The Heavenly Virtues: uhhh do i have to make it exclusive

Pride: Few as in less than 5 not family included unless youre crazy social and have like 10 people you would like die w/0 like what

          Who do you really care abt and dont want dead or you will be devistated

The Heavenly Virtues replied to “Few as in less than 5 not family included unless youre crazy social and have like 10 people you would like die w/0 like what”

          i was thinking a solid forty 

Pride: Like theres u Envy Mint and family 

Pride replied to “ i was thinking a solid forty”

          What 💀

The Heavenly Virtues: let’s narrow that down shall we excluding family

          i have 11 so far

Pride: Wow ok man thats a lot of people queen

          Can i even name that many people out of guard

The Heavenly Virtues: wait 13.5

Pride: .5???

The Heavenly Virtues: maybe my list isn’t as exclusive as it should be

          can i narrow this down more 

Envy: i feel like i would have a lot like my life isn’t that pricey

The Heavenly Virtues: exactly right 

          wait no

          that’s bad 

          booo get help

          ok let’s say i have to keep it 10 and under 

Envy: or like no one at all because i’m like toxic and be like eww no im not dying for you

Pride: Guys my life aint that pricy but i aint risking it for anyone calm down 💀

The Heavenly Virtues: uhh like you two

          florida girl, The Feds, Sharkboy

          my real list shouldn’t be who i’d die for it’s who i would write an emotional letter to

          i don’t know if anyone makes that list

Pride: LMAO real

          No i getchu

          Mine would be like 10x longer but no i get u

The Heavenly Virtues: gotta keep y’all on your toes i can’t have a written confession

          that makes no sense wtf

Pride: LMAO

The Heavenly Virtues: hold on folks

          yk what i’ll just leave it there

Chapter Text

Wrath: Auf wiedersehen my friends! I am off on a plane trip to some foriegn nation where my phone cannot follow. I shall find you again, whenever I should get internet.

The Heavenly Virtues: orange is very hit or miss

Pride: wait seriously??

Envy: wtf Wrath

The Heavenly Virtues: ok is this a dream

          are we collectively dreaming

Pride: wait you did not just drop that on us

The Heavenly Virtues: frantically checking life 360

Pride: Wrath you are so joking wtf

Envy: Wrath why does life 360 say your phone is out of battery

The Heavenly Virtues: Wrath why are you offline what

Pride: bro what the actual fuck lmao

The Heavenly Virtues: did you throw your phone in a lake??

Envy: Wrath

          Wrath

          wtf

The Heavenly Virtues: Wrath what does your note mean

Envy: this is Pride like behavior

Pride replied to Envy: this is Pride like behavior

          WHAT

          NO

          WRATH HEY

          ATLEAST WARN US BEFORE HAND

The Heavenly Virtues: why can’t his phone follow him??

          what country could he possibly be going to where his phone cannot come

Pride: Bro actually is just going to a different country and didn't warn us what

The Heavenly Virtues: erm

          well anyways

Pride:__ hours is 4 am bro

Envy: guys i think he’s gone

          forever

The Heavenly Virtues: wait what language was that

Pride: and theyre probably leaving in like 30 minutes unless he literally chose to message on the plane

Envy: bye ig

The Heavenly Virtues: that he said goodbye in

          we’re so dumb guys

Envy: german? idk

The Heavenly Virtues: hold on imma check

Pride: why the freak is he going to germany

          that makes 0 sense

          it is german btw

          Lmao what the actual hell

          ok then man dont die ig

The Heavenly Virtues: uh

          detective pride i fear this is our biggest case yet

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues detective pride i fear this is our biggest case yet

          Girl we aint getting no answers until 4 am 😭

          we have literally nothing

          actually

          no actually i got this hold on i used to fly sm

          ok well thats just time transference but he might literally be going to germany its basically a # hour flight

          netherlands basically anywhere in Europe near the netherlands or UK is about that time

The Heavenly Virtues: oh!

Pride: or if we really wanna reach morroco and yk around there is also # hours but why would he be going to morocco

          or anywhere there

The Heavenly Virtues: so we’ve narrowed it down to anywhere in europe or morocco

Pride: i mean jordan is a #~ hour flight so really anything in europe west of turkey and anything north africa west of egypt ish and a bit more is around # hours

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues: so we've narrowed it down to anywhere in europe or morocco

        lmao basically

          more like northwest cost of africa actually bc like egypt is also # hours

          Wrath why would you do this to us lmao

Envy: Wrath bro

          i see y your little icon

The Heavenly Virtues: no shot he’s leaving us on read

Envy: don’t leave us on read

Pride: lmao he read it too bro

          kys w love

Envy: don’t be like me

The Heavenly Virtues: WITH A DEAD PHONE

                                                              (x2 ❤️)

Pride: this is not nice

          LMAO he probably turned off his location so its saying that

The Heavenly Virtues: is bro on a pc on a plane

          actually kys wtf

Envy: it would just say location not shared

          not PHONE IS DEAD

          [photo of life360 showing wraths phone dead]

          WTF IS THIS SHIT

The Heavenly Virtues: yeah it’s a different thing

          guys guys

Pride: YOUD THINK BUT MY BROTHERS KEEPS SAYING OH OFFLINE AND DEAD BUT HES ON HIS PHONE RIGHT INFRONT OF ME

The Heavenly Virtues: how are we gonna break the news to (Wrath canonical father)

Pride: LMAO "Oh yeah your son is actually like in another country or missing his phone is dead were not really sure"

          STOP FREAKING LEAVING US ON READ

          Literally i see u reading this bro 😭

Envy: bro

The Heavenly Virtues: i hate this

Envy: what the hell

Pride: Lmao the group crashing out is crazy

          bro respond please pretty please

The Heavenly Virtues: just saying i would never do this to you guys and yet you call me most likely to wander off

Pride: Heavenly Virtues btw im assigning you purple bc i still dont know your favourite colour

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues: just saying i would never do this to you guys and yet you call me most likely to wander off

        yeah bc YOU ARE

          HE LITERALLY KNEW ABT THIS AND DIDNT TELL US THOUGH

          Unless hes getting kidnapped

Envy: WRATH AWNSER OUR QUESTIONS

Pride: BUT THATS DIFFERENT

          BRO 😭

Envy: HOW WILL WE TELL YOUR FATHER THAT WE LOST YOU

          WWHD

          WHAT WOYLD (BAND DIRECTOR) DO

Pride: see if I DID this yall would think i killed myself or smth

          double standards 😔

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Pride: Heavenly Virtues btw im assigning you purple bc i still dont know your favourite colour

          its green bro

Pride replied to Envy: WHAT WOYLD (BAND DIRECTOR) DO

        NO WAIT WRATHYOURE STILL THE BANDS SYNTH PLAYER

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues: its green bro

        Oh

          i was right lmao

          shrub

The Heavenly Virtues: oh (Band director)'s gonna kill us huh

Pride: can we like write an apology in advance for losing Wrath somehow

The Heavenly Virtues: we lost his henchman

Pride: through a groupchat

        yk its fine chat

The Heavenly Virtues: it’s almost like i can still hear his voice

                                                                                     (x3 ❤️)

Pride: YOU FUCKER

The Heavenly Virtues: why is bro liking messages

Envy: YOU BITCH

          WTF

The Heavenly Virtues: he could also be on an ipad lmao

          what if we started a new gc left him here

          WHAT IF WE STARTED UP THE OLD ONE AGAIN ITS STILL ACTIVE

Pride: Lmao oh nooo

          WAIT IS IT

The Heavenly Virtues: yup i can still access it

Pride: Im not still in it tho am i?

The Heavenly Virtues: idk maybe

Pride: bc i very vividly remember deleting it from my phone lmao

The Heavenly Virtues: actually i don’t wanna touch that thing again

Pride: mother was NOT finding that

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues: actually i don’t wanna touch that thing again

          i wouldnt either its like

          plagued

The Heavenly Virtues: oh like this chat is better

Pride: lmao

          wellll

          wellll you could arguee

The Heavenly Virtues: nope!

Pride: Wrath istg i will get ur father to disown you or smth idk

The Heavenly Virtues: we’re doing no such thing.

Envy: guys i cant with my sister being a caitlyn apologist

The Heavenly Virtues: should we contact a trusted adult

Pride: guys actually what if he cant respond lmao

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Envy: guys i cant with my sister being a caitlyn apologist

          insane behavior

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues: should we contact a trusted adult

        who would be the adult lmao

Envy replied to Pride: guys actually what if he cant respond lmao

        but he can like stuff

The Heavenly Virtues: but that’s so season 1

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Pride: who would be the adult lmao

          idk (captain sophomore year)?

Pride replied to Envy: but he can like stuff

          maybe he cant type idk lmao

Envy: (Head coach)

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues: idk (captain sophomore year)?

        we are NOT adding (captain y10) bc Wrath is missing lmao

The Heavenly Virtues: we should contact (head coach) over remind

Pride: WE ARE NOT MESSAGING (HEAD COACH) BC WRATH IS ON A PLANE

The Heavenly Virtues: OMG

Pride: LMAO

The Heavenly Virtues: (HEAD COACH) IS GONNA KILL US

          HIS GOLDEN BOY

                             (x3❤️)

          omg bitch

Pride: STOP LIKING STUFFFFF

          RESPONF

Envy: BRO

          TOU BITCH WRF

Wrath: ❤️

Envy: BRO

Pride: im gonna contact your father about this

          both parents actually

          im getting you disowned bro

          lmao

The Heavenly Virtues: lmao make a gc with both (the feds) and (canon father)

          actually no i’d rather die

Pride: LMAO

Envy: no context

          your son is gone

Pride replied to Envy: no context

          do it do it do it

The Heavenly Virtues: WAIT HE DOES HAVE MESSENGER LMAO HE WANSIN THE GUARD CHAT

Pride: please pretty please i cant make another gc

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues: WAIT HE DOES HAVE MESSENGER LMAO HE WANSIN THE GUARD CHAT

          LMAO WAIT

          GUYS SOMEONE PLEASE

Pride: why did a door slam outside

          do i go check that out

          nah

          oh it happened again

          oh wow ok

          maybe (older brother)'s at the door lmao

          i aint getting up i dony wanna die if it isnt

The Heavenly Virtues: yk what if bro can like messages he’s alive

Pride: lmao fair

The Heavenly Virtues: i’m gonna go spend time with my family instead of this

          is sad and lame

Pride: lmaoo

Envy: icon

Pride: my entire family has been asleep since 8:30 and (older brothers) out

          HES TYPIGN

          NO TYPE AGAIN

The Heavenly Virtues: WOAH DO IT AGAIN

Envy: MAGIC

The Heavenly Virtues: i hate this

Pride: Bros thinking abt the most comedic one word message he could send dw

average Wrath antics

The Heavenly Virtues: or maybe it’s a ransom note?

Wrath: Hey guys turns out airport has free WiFi,

The Heavenly Virtues: oh you dramatic bitch

Chapter Text

(A time??)

Wrath:

          [sends sonic image with caption

          Rule: Never trust how you feel about your life past 9 PM.]

Pride: Funny story; kill yourself.

The Heavenly Virtues: Stop! 🛑 ✋

Pride: in fact never trust how i feel about my life!

Wrath replied to Pride: Funny story; kill yourself.

          [Screenshot of Wrath message saying "Kys|" on fire]

Pride: Don't cut yourself! 🔪🩸

          Bye

          Nit the emojis

          Im gonna die

          Im gonna crash out central 2

Wrath replied to Pride: Funny story; kill yourself.

          Improper use of a semi colon in conventional English by the way

The Heavenly Virtues: That’s not too good for your heath 😷🤒

Pride: Stop!🛑

The Heavenly Virtues: Don’t cut yourself! 🔪 🩸

Envy: wtf

The Heavenly Virtues: lmao

Pride: Leave that knife up on the shelf! 🔪🆙

The Heavenly Virtues: Stop 🛑 ✋

Pride: Don't cut yourself! 🩸🔪

The Heavenly Virtues: It’s ok to ask for help! 👯❤️

Pride: Stop! 🛑 ✋

Wrath: ❤️

The Heavenly Virtues: Don’t cut yourself 🔪 🩸

Pride: I hope that you’re doing well! ❤️‍🩹🤕

Envy: i’m going to kms

Pride: We did it gang

The Heavenly Virtues: that took too long

Envy: goodbye [essay]

The Heavenly Virtues: wait shit my [essay]s

Chapter Text

The Heavenly Virtues: guys i had a fun dream last night

          so for some reason the whole gang is at my house right

          and Wrath is there and he’s like hey do you have an empty room perchance where i can show you guys something really cool

          so we go to my brother’s old room in the basement and were like ok now what’s this mystery thing

          and Wrath pulls out a ziplock bag full of a neon green powder

          i’m at work now i’ll tell the rest of the story later

Wrath: I would never 

        Powder belongs in sealed plastic containers with an additional cling wrap lining under the cover

The Heavenly Virtues: ok storytime continued

          so then Wrath was like so guys this is an experiment, i wanna see what will happen when it touches air, but there’s a 50 percent chance we all die

          and we’re like bro wtf no don’t do that and we verbally fight it out for a while and discuss scientific ethics and stuff

          and somehow it like turns into a hostage type situation where we discreetly call the police and Wrath is on the phone with someone and setting things up around the room for the great experiment

          and we’re like hey bro why you doing this anyway where’d you get this powder hey help us help you type shit yk

          so then he’s like i bought it and discovered what substance it is through experiments and it’s some long convoluted scientific name so i’m frantically scrolling through its wikipedia article trying to research it

          and Wrath reveals that he bought it from [FEATHER]

Pride: LMAO NO WHAT

The Heavenly Virtues: who’s on the way rn to help cover up the crime scene so that they’re not implicated

          so the police are getting in at this point and we all agree that we’re gonna pin the crime on [Feather] when they arrive

          and it somehow works [Feather] gets arrested for Wraths crime and is thrown in the cop car

          and everyone is chill and goes home but then [Gravel] calls me up and is like yo i know you framed [Feather] that’s kinda messed up

          and we have an argument that i will not be divulging details of and then the dream ends

          and i woke up

          guys don’t leave that on read

          i gotta go back to work goodbye

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues: and everyone is chill...

          BRO THEY SOLD IT TO YOU LMAO

          THEY ARE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CRIME ATP

          Ignoring Wrath tryna open this radioactive bomb powder thing but still that aint FRAMING

          thats conveniently leaving out a few details

Envy: now the real question is where did [Feather] get it and came i have some

Pride: LMAO literally

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Pride: Ignoring Wrath tryna open...

          i’m sure that was our train of thought

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Envy: now the real question...

          i’ll let you know if i somehow get a part 2

Wrath replied to The Heavenly Virtues: so then Wrath was like so guys this is an experiment...

          Why would I pay for something with explosive properties, and then test it for the first time in an enclosed space with people who I don’t want to possibly die

          I would buy dangerous chemicals but I would rather not have them spontaneously decompose on me

          That’s just a waste of money

          Unless the fun part is them spontaneously decomposing

          But those are a bit illegal I fear

The Heavenly Virtues: my bad bro i’ll make sure my subconscious fixes its impression of you

Wrath: I’m going to sue your subconscious for defamation if this happens again

Chapter Text

Pride: Oh ive seen the show design

          Like yk

          Name

          Im 90% sure the shirt is gonna be white

Envy: i will kms if its white

          like i feel like thats a bad idea 

          yk with like makeup and all and just being in white

Pride: Well the like name design thing itself was white and gray with like the uniform colours but very dim versions of them

Envy: tf is the name 

Pride: Well i cant tell you

          I pinke promised Head Coach lmao 

Envy: do tell

          leak 

          leak 

          leak 

Pride: I cannot break Head Coach's trust

Envy: he wont know

Pride: “See kids, if an adult ever starts pressuring you like this, find the nearest adult.”

          Lmaoo

Envy: well im younger than you 

          so who really doing the pressuring 

Pride: Still you

          Im just more likely to be labeled as the pressurer now

          Envy also what are you texting on lmao 

Envy: laptop

          mid lesson

          science 

          white is just like a ass choice

          Pride do you not love us enough to leak it

          ig you hate us

          damn i see how it is

          lmao im like a toxic ex trying to get back together 

Chapter Text

Pride: WHY IS IT YELLOW BOOO I THOUGHT ITD BE BLUE

          IMAGINE GETTING ACCIDENTALLY ADDICTED TO A YELLOW ISH DRUG

Wrath: Why not yellow

Pride: EHY WOULD THEY MAKE IT SUCH A NASTY COLOUR TOO

          ITS PALE YELLOW THATS WHY NOT YELLOW

          LIKE NOT EVEN A GOOD YELLOW

Wrath: Why are you crashing out over the color of a drug

Pride: IMAGINE BEING FORCEFULLY INJECTED WITH A NASTY COLOURED YELLOW AND GETTING ADDICTED TO IT

          Because i only ever read mcyt fics with drug trades and its always blue lmao

          Thats why

          Im cooked 

          Also bc pale yellow sucks

          Like not even like a sun yellow or a pretty yellow

          Its pale 

Wrath: But its still a perfectly acceptable drug color right

Pride: Imagine seeing a drug thatll kill you if you dont take it every 12 hours and it being pale yellow

          Like thats two reasons not to take it not 1

         If it was like a nice blue it woukd be so much more appealing

Wrath replied to Pride: Imagine seeing a drug…

          I'm not sure if this is a primary concern in the moment

Pride: Add some food dye bro what

          Wheres my blue 2 at

Wrath: Perhaps not dying is more important than what color your drug is

Pride: Or whatever the number is

          Lmao no bc what incentive is there if its pale yellow

Wrath relied to Pride: Add some food…

          So, adulterating your product

          No

Pride: Its ugly and would kill you

Wrath: Why the hell would you do that

           Its a drug

           Not some food product

Pride: If it was really pretty and would kill you id maybe get it

          /j thats a joke lmao but ykwim

          If it was PRETTY id in theory consider it

          Atleast i wouldnt be dying to an ugly ass drug

Wrath replied to Pride: If it was…

          I'm under the impression the addiction was created by force

Pride: Like cocaine or fetanyl or PALE YELLOW SUBSTANCE

          it was lmao

          He got injected w it on a mission

Wrath: I feel like you are arbitrarily associating yellow with something bad

Pride: Now he has to find a cure and hide his addiction from his family at the same time

Wrath: Like this isn’t breaking bad

Pride: Summary says that stleast

          Lmao i havent seen breaking bad

Wrath: Blue is not a standard color for drugs

          They just have colors sometimes

Pride: Im just saying make the drug look pretty if you want more people to take them

          Like cmon learn something from the literal drug called Blue aka the fucking ghostbur happy wool that people made a drug in fanfics

         It was BLUE DYE HE GAVE PEOPLE WHITE DYE AND IT ABSORBED THEIR SADNESS AND BECAME BLYE

         IT WAS SO ADORABLE AND PEOPLE MADE IT WHAT

         A DRUG

         TO DRIVE PLOT POINTS 

         BOOO

Wrath: What

         None of that made sense 

Pride: Im taking about the dsmp lmao dw aboutnit

Wrath: You’re crazy

Pride: LMAO i am thanks 

Wrath: Insane person ramblings

The Heavenly Virtues: now a purple drug i can get behind

          not yellow

Pride: SEE THE HEAVENLY VIRTUES GETS IT

The Heavenly Virtues: green makes it feel nutritious

Wrath: You are all weird

Pride: LIKE WHY WOULD I TAKE SMTH THAT WOULD KILL ME IF ITS ALSO UGLY

         THERES NO INCENTIVE THEN

Wrath: Irrationally judging things

The Heavenly Virtues: i think peak colors would be purple and blue

Pride: exactly thank you The Heavenly Virtues 

The Heavenly Virtues: not natural but intriguing enough

Pride: Wrath see youre the weird one here lmao

Wrath: No one complains about how potassium permanganate isn't blue

Pride: Im quite sane

Wrath: That would be fucking stupid

Pride: Yeah but more people would buy it if it was

          See

          Exactly 

          If its pretty coloured more people would be intrigued and would buy it Wrath

Wrath: Like these are fucking chemicals

Pride: Ok yk what fair i still stand by my point though

Wrath: This is childish

Pride: I am childish Wrath weve been over this lmao

Wrath: Complaining about the color of these things is such a childish thing

The Heavenly Virtues: yikes

          open your mind

          take in the possibilities

Wrath: This is on the same level as not taking your strawberry cough medicine because it isn't red

Pride: Wheres the Whimsy™️ Wrath

Wrath: Its a fucking illicit substance

Pride replied to Wrath: This is on the..

          I WOULDNT

          YOU KNOW APPEARANCE MAKES YOU TASTE THINGS DIFFERENTLY

          MY ARGUMENT IS BORDERLINE BACKED UP BY SCIENCE

          Lmao well

          Anyways

Wrath: ITS A FUCKING DRUG WHAT DO MEAN YOU NEED IT TO TASTE DIFFERENTLY

Pride: LMAOOO

          IDK MAN

The Heavenly Virtues: all aspects of the experience should be taken into account

Pride: doesnt need to taste better bro it just needs to make it feel better

Wrath: I fear I'm losing the plot here

           Like whats the purpose of this drug

Pride: A street drug

          Like to get loyal buyers

          Once you take it once you have to take it forever

          I guess 

Wrath: Well then I will stand by my original statement

Pride: Idk they never really

          Explained 

Wrath: The target audience of this drug clearly have higher priorities (getting high)

          Therefore they would not care what color the drug is

Pride: No if you wajt new buyers you gotta make it appealing

          aka purple

          Blue 

Wrath replied to Pride: No if you…

          Why would the color appeal to them

Pride: idk man

         Because 

         Its pretty 

Wrath: Distributors would be interested in how effective it is at getting people high

         How cost effective it is 

         And its overall customer retention value

Pride replied to Wrath: And its overall…

         WeLL THEY HAVE TO RETAIN MAN

          ITS THE NEW BUYERS

         HOW DO YOU GET MORE PEOPLE TO TAKE IT

         COLOUR 

Wrath: By demonstrating its effectiveness

Pride: PUT IT IN A HELLO KITTY SYRINGE

Chapter Text

The Heavenly Virtues: omg Pride

          did psych teacher 1 also make you write like an eating disorder yap writing assignment 

Pride: OMG YEAH

          STOP

          THAT WAS ACTUALLY SO EMBARASSING WHAT WAS I EVEN SUPPOSED TO SAY 

The Heavenly Virtues: psych teacher 2 was so odd with it

           she really wanted us sharing personal experiences

Pride: “So you can write about generally or smth or YOURSELF or SOMEONE YOU KNOW”

          Like oh…

          No…

The Heavenly Virtues: “it’s only me reading this!” you’re actually the problem

Pride: LMAO LITERALLY

The Heavenly Virtues: it’s just so suspicious cause we don’t have to write a manifesto for other more related stuff we learn about

Pride: No im like 90% sure its like they gotta do it

          Like its so weird literally felt like they were tryna weed kids out or smth

          I actually hated that i lowk barely wrote about eating disorders and went on a rant about mental illnesses that are like associated with EDs and how its like there can be underlying disorders that cause eds bc what did she want me to say

          “I dont fucking eat because i dont like how food feels its icky” like what 😭

The Heavenly Virtues: no what was the purpose of that assignment

Pride: ITS LOWK A TRAP

          I PROMISE YOU

          THERES NO WAY IT ISNT LMAO

          Trap is harsh but you get what i mean

The Heavenly Virtues: “and if someone hypothetically felt this certain way” wrap it up

Pride: Like you’re fooling nobody girl 😭

Chapter Text

Scores:

The Heavenly Virtues:

        Open mindedness: 90th percentile

        Conscientiousness: 3rd percentile

        Extraversion: 17th percentile

        Agreeableness: 50th percentile

        Negative Emotionality/ neuroticism: 98th percentile

Envy: 

        Open mindedness: 26th percentile

        Conscientiousness: 4th percentile

        Extraversion: 10th percentile

        Agreeableness: 8th percentile

        Negative Emotionality/ neuroticism: 94th percentile

Wrath: 

        Open mindedness: 82nd percentile

        Conscientiousness: 7th percentile

        Extraversion: 95th percentile

        Agreeableness: 1st percentile

        Negative Emotionality/ neuroticism: 12th percentile

Pride: 

        Open mindedness: 92nd percentile

        Conscientiousness: 24th percentile

        Extraversion: 60th percentile

        Agreeableness: 91st percentile

        Negative Emotionality/ neuroticism: 87th percentile

The Heavenly Virtues: i wanna appeal my personality scores

Wrath: Yikes

        ummmmmm

        It might be cooked

        Its over for me

The Heavenly Virtues: 1st percentile is crazy

Wrath: Top 1 percentile for disagreeability

The Heavenly Virtues: least neurotic member of neutral juice, but also least reasonable person in the data set

Wrath: I'm not neurotic

        I just like trying to rationally disagree with people

        Living up to my Wrath title

Pride: God why are none of you agreeable what 😭

Wrath: We should each have one trait we do well that no one else in neutral juice scores well in

The Heavenly Virtues: we can change our names to our worst trait

Envy: well then thing that I scored highest in The Heavenly Virtues scored higher

        and like i sucked at everything else

The Heavenly Virtues: you’re the heavenly negative attributes

Pride posts her test results

The Heavenly Virtues: No

Pride: LMAO

Envy: wild

The Heavenly Virtues: I AM NOT MORE NEUROTIC THAN YOU

Envy: The Heavenly Virtues how do you feel

Pride: BAHDJAH

The Heavenly Virtues: Pride an agreeable queen

Envy: how does it feel to be the most neurotic

The Heavenly Virtues: its a good time

Envy: all our conscientiousness being low is a bit goofy

Chapter Text

Wrath: Wait therse a coffee shop called (random store Wrath is in love with)

          Now I want to go

          OH AND THEY HAVE ALCOHOL

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Wrath: OH AND… 

          a bar no way

Wrath: (randiom store Wrath is in love with) is calling to me

          Coffee and alcohol is such a terrible mix

          No one should have both

The Heavenly Virtues: it’s a classic combo wdym

Wrath: At the same time

          Terrible idea

          A (stores animal mascot) would definitely whisper into your ear to tell you to drink both

          Checks out

The Heavenly Virtues: hey wtf

Wrath: Please tell me they have merch

          I want merch so badly now

          The aesthetic is so nice

The Heavenly Virtues: wait you’re actually right

          excellent interior

Wrath: They have so many great designs on their instagram

          I beg of you make one of them into a shirt or something

The Heavenly Virtues: dm them trust

Wrath: I should buy one of their branded tumblers before I go off to college

The Heavenly Virtues: yes

          that’s definitely something you need for sure

Chapter Text

The Heavenly Virtues: i’m dead

Pride unsent a message

Pride unsent a message 

Pride unsent a message 

Pride: Oh no i got a better ine

          Opening a book

          Like a new book

          But in a school

Wrath unsent a message 

Wrath unsent a message 

Wrath: A silly little guy

           Yeah

The Heavenly Virtues: HEY

          STOP THAT

Pride: Stop what???

          Whatre you talking about The Heavenly Virtues??

The Heavenly Virtues: that is

          terrible 

Pride: what is???

The Heavenly Virtues: die

Chapter Text

The Heavenly Virtues: when everything g else is getting actively worse i just gotta be better yk

Pride: Exactly exactly

The Heavenly Virtues: WE are winning (everything g is going to shit)

Pride: WE are going to get well paying jobs with our majors (The US is gonna collapse in the next 5 years and i dont wanna be here for it)

The Heavenly Virtues: nah what’s another world war

Pride: Guys my entire family has been so sure for the past like since I was 10 that the US is just gonna stop existing in the next 10-20 years

The Heavenly Virtues: we survived the last two

Envy: guys trust i’m going to profit from this trist

Pride: So aka 2-12 years from now

Envy: i’ll go into crafting new chemical warfare

The Heavenly Virtues: whether that was a good thing or not the US will probably stick around

Pride replied to Envy (ill go into crafting new chemical warfare):

          Hell yeah brother make them bombs!!

          Im lowk very much on the us should no longer exist hill i just dont wanna live here when it does that lmao

Envy: guys i fear like money making lab shit is like animal experimentation type shot

The Heavenly Virtues replied to (yeah brother make them bombs!!!):

          some guy in the middle of fuckass nowhere new mexico said that once

Pride: LMAO

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Pride: (Im lowk very much on the us should no longer exist hill i just dont wanna live here when it does that lmao):

          if only the world worked like that

Pride replied to Envy (guys i fear like money making lab shit is like animal experimentation type shot):

          Ur cooked brother

          Why am i sauing brother today

          What

The Heavenly Virtues: if the US actually died the upper class would get plane tickets out and everyone else would get fucked

Envy: it’s like software is also shit

          like if you want to make money

The Heavenly Virtues: hence why i hesitate to pray of the fall of the united states

Pride: No the US is so unstable and genuinely either gonna go through the longest fucked up reform or like just be over w

The Heavenly Virtues: hey yk what’s funny

Pride: One way or another were no longer gonna be considered a first world countey

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues (hence why i hesitate to pray of the fall of the united states):

          Real

The Heavenly Virtues: it’s going to literally rain on trumps parade tomorrow

Envy replied to The Heavenly Virtues (it’s going to literally rain on trumps parade tomorrow):

          hopefully acid

The Heavenly Virtues: HELL YEAH BABBY USA USA WOOOO

          Coping so hard

Wrath: Time to put chemicals in the rain!

Pride: Guys we shoukd all just move to new zealand

          Or finkand

          Please

          Please.

The Heavenly Virtues: i wanted to move to new zealand in my younger years

Wrath: It’s time to move to the balkans guys

Pride: Guys i dont wanna be a US citizen anymore ☹️

The Heavenly Virtues: till i found out about that shitty job market and housing market

Pride: Yk thats

          Thats fine

The Heavenly Virtues: and how there’s more sheep than people there

Pride: Yeah yk what better than the US

          Anythings better than the US

          But australia

          Not huge on bugs guys

The Heavenly Virtues: god the next four years is when i get my spinoff i can feel it

Pride: I believe

The Heavenly Virtues: this is the funniest plot setup

Envy: guys i want to go to switerland

Pride: Yk what real

The Heavenly Virtues: looking up from my homework and there’s just tanks going down the street on tv for the next parade

Pride: Oh its so over Guys i cajt even go to the (home country) no more

          I dont wanna go to (other country) for the summer bro i will get bombed

          All planes in (other country) i think r stopped rn and i wouldnt even be abke ti get back what is this

The Heavenly Virtues: yeah do t do that

Pride: Chat i need a third citizenship

          Can i marry someone from any non confrontational country that’s generally neutral and doesnt own nuclear weapons

Envy: guys i’ll kill to get like a high paying job in switzerland yk

          like cern is there like

          CERN

          THE CERN

Pride: Cern??

          OH

          OMG RIGHT

Envy: the partial collider

Pride: Youre so real for that

          Go to switzerland boo

          I believe

The Heavenly Virtues: i should move to (a state) with (older brother) but i kind of like not freezing my ass off

Pride: Guys moving to any state that isnt bordered w water feels like a good idea

The Heavenly Virtues: ykw dc is blue guys is t that funny

Pride: I feel like thise states are the most likeley to be nuked

The Heavenly Virtues: like they hate trump

Pride: Must be a joy

Envy: guys it’s so like dark like the clouds wild

The Heavenly Virtues: like after it blows up in the wake of his presidency

Envy: clouds do that when they’re going to rain mindblowing

Pride: Guys wait can like BTS cancek their tour to the US bc of trump please some bts fan will take care of trump for us

          Please

The Heavenly Virtues: that would be so funny

Pride: It woukd be absolutely hilarious no one would complain either

          Guys can i take one for the team someone just give me an unregistered fire arm ill do it trust

          Meta thats a joke

          Meta

Envy: bro i need schlatt to like tweet on of his like propjisizong tweets about someone dying again

Pride: PLEASEE PLEASEE SCHLATT PLEASE MAKE IT SOON TOO

          Guys wait im calling it theres gonna be like an assassination attempt of trump during the parade

The Heavenly Virtues replied to Pride (can i take one for the team someone just give me an unregistered fire arm ill do it trust):

        i lowkey think you would fail assasinations are tricky

Pride: I could figure it out im sure

          Lmaoo

          The Heavenly Virtues: guys you should read 11/24/66 goofy book

          Pride: (Pride older brother) could figure it out actually give (Pride older brother) a registered fire arm

          Whats it abt

The Heavenly Virtues: DOO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING 🎤

          sorry mb

*Pride sent shark reaction photo*

Pride: Wait no i cant send shark images

          thats Envys thing lmao

          hold on I need a set of reaction photos

Envy: bro trump saying les misarabe is his favorite is killing me

The Heavenly Virtues: did he even see it?

          when they were literally waving a giant flag in his face

Envy: he just saw it at the kennedy center it’s so goofy

Pride replied to Envy (bro trump saying les misarabe is his favorite is killing me):

          Bro did not watch the same thing we did 😭

Wrath: Just like all his businesses

Pride: I feel like this guy it too willingfully ignorant

The Heavenly Virtues 🦅🦅🦅

Pride: WHAT THE HELL IS A KILOMETER 🔥🔥‼️‼️🦅🦅🦅🎆🎆🎆🎆

The Heavenly Virtues: im too joyful for a world war can we not do that

Pride: Literally guys listen im sure we have enough whimsy to share with everyone else lets calm down

          Guys tk what woukd solve this like rn If we just got rid if israel

          And also like our entire government

The Heavenly Virtues: i’ll expect that on my desk by monday

Pride: Thatll atleast solve MOST of our issues right

Wrath: Uhhhh

          No

Pride: Stop Wrath let me have this MOST of our issues right guys

Wrath: Probably not

Pride: STOP IT

☹️

The Heavenly Virtues: how do you propose we accomplish this Pride

          us, citizens of neutral juice

Pride: Ok ok heres the game plan

          We give 3 waffle house employees guns

Wrath: Maybe it will stop them from further ripping off the people

Pride: And like the smallest amount of LSDs

Wrath: For a little bit

Pride: Like less than a dose

No 6 actually

The Heavenly Virtues: yk that’s actually a solid plan pride

Pride: Put 3 in israel and 3 in the white house

I know thank you

The Heavenly Virtues: i’m surprised

          who’s getting the guns who’s getting the drugs who’s on waffle house

Wrath: At least until the Big corpo money government takes over Then it’s all cooked

Pride: Guys (pride older brother) can legally buy fire arms ok we can do the guns trust

Wrath: Pride, your plan is giving dynastic China Pride: And also probably the drugs too many kids here do like weed and crack

The Heavenly Virtues: now would be a great time to go for a swim

          i yearn for the lake

          Once More to the Lake!

          Wrath replied to The Heavenly Virtues (i yearn for the lake): Once more to the lake!

Pride replied to Wrath (Pride, your plan is giving dynastic China):

Listen but did THEY fail?? (I have 0 clue did they actually)

Wrath replied to Pride: They did

The Heavenly Virtues: haha beat you to it

Pride: Fuck it

Wrath: It was a never ending cycle of poor peasants staging revolts

Pride: Guys what if we made it 4 waffle house employees then

*The Heavenly Virtues sends photo with caption S H I T*

Wrath: And then the people they put in charge getting cucked by the establishment and becoming so corrupt

Pride: Like i think 4 would be pushing it though do we really need 4 waffle house employees with guns yk

*Envy sends photo of shark with a sniper*

Wrath: And oh wait the cycle is restarting

Envy replied to themself (shark photo): the waffle house employees

Pride replied to Envy (Shark photo): Guys please im expecting this tmrw im PRAYING for this tmrw

Wrath: Another revolution and another corrupt government

Pride: Listen im just saying maybe we need to reform the entire system

Wrath: All of that and for what

Pride: How many times did the french try and vaguely make it happen

          Idk

Wrath: The peasants are still poor

Pride: Like atkeast 3 right

The Heavenly Virtues: guys we should have a (school) band parade tomorrow

Wrath: The upper class is still oppressive

Pride: STOP BEING HISTORICALLY CORRECT WRATH

Wrath: Even if the faces are different The Heavenly Virtues: just march down a highway

Pride: GUYS JUST KILL ALL THE BILLIONAIRES HOW ABOUT THAT

The Heavenly Virtues: i love it when wrath is right

Wrath replied to Pride (GUYS JUST KILL ALL THE BILLIONAIRES HOW ABOUT THAT):

          NOW THATS A PLAN I CAN GET BEHIND

          Just imagine the government income from taxing their estates

Pride: OK NEW PLAN GUYS

          Guys how many billionaires sre there 2.7 ish k

          Oh i dont think we can crowd sourve that many waffle house employees guys

          Uh

          Ok

          i need a new plan that doesnt rely on waffle house employees being insane

          Im saying we get like atleast 15 maga republicans

          They already have guns so we dont need to worry abt that

          And we tell them that theyre DEMOCRATS that support DRAG QUEENS and dont like TRANS PEOPLE in sports or bathrooms

          AND DISLIKE TARRIFS

          AND ALSO HATE TRUMP!!

          Ill say that one first

*The Heavenly Virtues sends photo of two friends each in a trump and biden costume head fake kissing*

Pride: And then we set them loose to multiple billionaires houses

Wrath: You see that guy

          He’s super rich

          Richest in the world right now

          He hates the working man

          He hates Donald Trump

Pride: And hes AN IMMIGRANT

Wrath: Trump said he has “Trump derangement syndrome”

          His factories are probably harboring illegal aliens

*The heavenly Virtues sends photo captioned Shit Just Got real, with the square root of shit to the negative one.*

Wrath: And his kid is trans Like you should really kill that guy

The Heavenly Virtues: gang is coping so hard rn

Pride: Wow im suprised maga hasnt gotten elon yet lowk

          Not that they would

          But i kinda would like hope yk

Wrath: Musk once again shooting himself in the foot

          Who in the world actually is going to buy his cars

Pride: Musk got everyone hating on him rn lmao

*The Heavenly Virtues sends photo captioned Man with a friend staring into the sea*

*Pride sends photo with fursuit captioned When my family found me passed out in a fursuit because after yiffing to sonic inflation too hard i got a brainbleed (true story)*

(this is not relatable to pride. they found the photo once, got traumatized, and decided to traumatize the rest of neutral juice with her.)

*Wrath sends photo of glass silly rat*

Chapter Text

The Heavenly Virtues: strapless tops are really just held up by the grace of god

Envy: i don't believe in strapless tops

          like that shit is witchcrafy

The Heavenly Virtues: i fw it though

Pride replied to The Heavenly Virtues: strapless tops are...

          I dont understand how they work

          They scare me

The Heavenly Virtues: i’ve gotten over my fear

Pride: They have to like cut off your circulation

          Or be really uncomfy

          Right??

          Like

          No what

The Heavenly Virtues: no no comfy

Pride: No Envys right it genuinely is witchcraft

The Heavenly Virtues: it’s magic

Envy: like if you wear them aren’t you at like risk of like tits out 24/6

          yk like are you able to have like peace of mind when you wear th

The Heavenly Virtues: but like they’re tight so they stay up

Envy: ig

Wrath: What in the world did I walk into

The Heavenly Virtues: like your tits help keep them up

Envy:my like rating of clothes hasn’t changed since i was litter and that scale is how easily i’m able to like tumble and run in it

          so like i fear strapless tops aren’t very high on that scale

Wrath: Lord almighty protect my soul

          Uh huh

          Right

          Ummmmmmmm

The Heavenly Virtues: you don’t get it it’s so fun

Wrath: I feel like security concerns are valid but somewhat overly emphasized

The Heavenly Virtues: #titsoutpropaganda

Envy: WOAH

Wrath: With the proper construciton, your chances of less than effective perfomance are considerably lower than warrants such concern

The Heavenly Virtues: had to be said

Wrath replied to The Heavenly Virtues: #titsoutpropaganda

          Great scott!

Envy replied to The Heavenly Virtues: #titsoutpropaganda

          good heavens!

Wrath: She's gone positively mad!

          To the mental ward with her!

Envy: WITCH!!!

          !!!

The Heavenly Virtues: no but i’m right

Envy: didn’t some state make like walking shirt off like leagl

Wrath: Next thing you know, the youngin's will be suggesting women show their ankles - worse yet, their shoulders

The Heavenly Virtues: shoulders? that’s where I draw the line

Wrath replied to The Heavenly Virtues: no but i'm right

          No but surely thats considered public indecency

          #notmyheavenlyvirtues

The Heavenly Virtues: that IS your heavenly virtues

          accept the heavenly virtues for what they are

Wrath: No.

          Garumph!

          Its outragous

          Our Heavenly Virtues would never support such a thing

          Man do I miss our Heavenly Virtues

The Heavenly Virtues: there's evidence to the contrary

The Heavenly Virtues replies to Wrath: Man do I miss...

          : (

          this is bullying

Wrath: Yeah well said "#titsoutpropaganda"

The Heavenly Virtues: i am what i am.

Wrath: So I think we're in the right here

The Heavenly Virtues: my trusted adult will hear about it 

          shit (trusted adult 1) is gone

Wrath: Hear about what hmmm?

The Heavenly Virtues: bullying and mistreatment

Wrath: Perhaps they should be given this artifact of the death of the Heavenly Virtues of old

The Heavenly Virtues: IM STILL HERE

          i'm so confused 

          literally nothing has changed

          have you considered you're the problem?

Wrath: Hmmmmm

          Good Point

          Let me consider that

The Heavenly Virtues: thank you

Wrath: Nope 

          I'm not the problem in the slightest

          Have you seen this propaganda?

The Heavenly Virtues: the heavenly virtues has and always will speak the truth

Wrath: Mhm

          Sure

The Heavenly Virtues: what if i died like right now  

          and this was the last conversation we had

Wrath: Mhm

          And we'll lament the second death of The Heavenly Virtues

          Its like the second coming of Christ

The Heavenly Virtues: wow i really hate this

Wrath: Except that we'll be having a funeral 

The Heavenly Virtues: (jellyfish) is pro tits out

          winning winning 

Wrath: BEGONE DEMON!

          Give us our sensible Heavenly Virtues back

The Heavenly Virtues: sensible heavenly virtues is pro tits out

          the heavenly virtues has forever been pro tits out

Wrath: Outrage in the streets