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It was always Mikasa.
It didn’t matter what else had been on her mind, Mikasa always ended up somewhere in Annie’s dreams.
This time Mikasa sat beneath a tree, in a pretty white sundress that looked like it was shipped straight from Marley. Annie took slow, careful steps towards her, as Mikasa patted the soft grass beside her.
”I was starting to worry you wouldn’t come,” Mikasa said, her voice light and teasing.
Annie swallowed. “I’m sorry.”
Mikasa shook her head, “Don’t be. You’re here now, that’s all that matters.”
Annie sat down next to Mikasa, cautious and attentive in her movements lest she cause her dream to unravel before her. Her breath caught when Mikasa reached up towards her face, but Annie quickly tried to hide her reaction. Mikasa only tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, and it was then that Annie realized that her hair was down too.
Mikasa frowned, confused. “What’s wrong, love? What’s on your mind?”
Annie brought her eyes up to Mikasa’s, and felt her stomach drop at how concerned Mikasa clearly was for her.
Annie’s throat tightened. “I’m sorry.”
And then her eyes began to sting, and Mikasa’s face fell. “Annie…”
Mikasa hugged Annie tight — tight and close and secure and all the things Annie has ever wanted and more. “I’m sorry,” Annie sobbed, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
Because Annie was. She had known what she was getting into the moment her father started to train her, and yet nothing prepared her for the look of heartbreak and betrayal on Mikasa’s face when Annie shifted into her Titan. Her apathy — her too-cold eyes — that bore into her when Mikasa stopped her from escaping Stohess kept her up at night.
They had never been so indifferent, so uncaring.
They had been everything that Mikasa never was to her.
Mikasa would never know that Annie had planned on bargaining for Mikasa’s safety. She would never know that Annie had spoken to Reiner about finding a way for Mikasa to live the rest of her life peacefully off of Paradis — many years after Annie had taken her last, cursed breath.
Mikasa would never know that she was truly everything to Annie.
Annie wasn’t sure when she had woken up, but she was now back to the waking world, hidden beneath the ground and imprisoned in her titan crystal.
She mouthed the words, even if nothing came out — even if Mikasa wouldn’t be around to hear it.
I’m sorry.