Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first time Lexa saw Clarke, they were freshman. Clarke had been walking with a young man, who's name Lexa hadn't learned until after he had died. Wells Jaha had seemingly always been by Clarke's side until he was stabbed by a twelve year old who couldn't get to Wells' dad, Thelonius. From what Lexa knew the corrupt judge, who had sent countless people to death unjustly, had gone a little bit mad since he'd discovered about Wells's death. How their boarding school had kept it from him for three months, Lexa wasn't sure.

Lexa had thought Clarke was attractive, sure, but after the Costia incident the summer before the eighth grade, Lexa wasn't about to advertise her sexuality. The truth was, Lexa barely saw Clarke. Before her freshman year, all the kids who attended EARTH were low-income troubled kids, who's parents didn't care and who had fallen into the hands of social services. Lexa came the earliest possible year she could, the fourth grade. During her freshman year, they opened the school up to one hundred rich delinquents who's parents didn't want to bother helping.

Enter Clarke Griffin and the rest of the 100. Despite the fact that they were supposed to interact they were extremely separated; so much so that each group called the other by a special name. Those like Lexa, who were delivered by social services, called the rich kids the Skaikru, and the rich kids called those like Lexa, the Grounders. At least they were separated until this summer, when the school decided the students needed to interact more.

That was how they all ended up getting on a bus to go to the middle of nowhere New York. “All right kids, you’ve heard the rules before, but you’ll sit with your groups. If you don’t remember, Titus will list them off in a moment.” One of the three teacher chaperones, Kane, hushed the crowd.

Kane was one of the wealthy adults they brought in Lexa’s sophomore year, in effort to make the rich kids feel more comfortable. Pike was the newest and the worst of them. He favored the Skai kids and would be just as happy if the Grounders weren’t there. Dr. Griffin just wanted to help, but she didn’t trust all of the Grounder kids.

“Okay, Group A, your captains are Lexa and Clarke. Members are Raven, Octavia, Lincoln, Jasper and Monty.” Lexa sighed, and rolled her eyes, before making her way to the first bus. She wasn’t too upset about her group, but Octavia and Lincoln would be sneaking off all weekend to sleep together, and Jasper, Monty, and Raven would inevitably set something on fire, or, blow something up. She and Clarke would constantly be babysitting.

As expected, her entire group was congregated in the back couple rows. Raven, Monty and Jasper were gathered in the back row, while Octavia and Lincoln were cuddled up on the right side in front of them. Clarke sat diagonally from them, leaving a row empty between her and the trio. Lexa didn’t really want to go the back, but she figured if she didn’t try, one of the chaperones would castigate her.

“Hey Lexa” Octavia called, tearing her attention away from her boyfriend. Lexa nodded in acknowledgment, heading toward the seat in beside that of Clarke; she didn’t want to get caught in Raven, Jasper, and Monty’s crossfire.

“If you’re trying to avoid them,” Clarke motioned to the back row, “Sit here.” The other girl smiled, and motioned to the second seat.

“I’m that transparent am I?” Lexa asked softly, before sitting down. “Thanks.” She added, trying not to get too into Clarke’s personal space. Clarke laughed, covering her sketch.

“They’re making spit bombs on the bus, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” Clarke grimaced. Lexa knew it wouldn’t be worth it to try and stop them, so she just sighed and pulled out her phone. She wasn’t sure how she was going to survive hours on a bus with her classmates, Kane, and all of their luggage. She plugged in her ear buds, closed her eyes, and hoped the time would pass quickly.

“Okay, truth or dare?” Octavia asked; her face illuminated by the flickering of their campfire.

“Truth.” Lexa decided; the truth was always safer, because you could always lie. Octavia grinned, an evil look crossing her face.

“Do you like Clar-”

“Dare.” Lexa cut Octavia off, hoping her blush wasn’t evident in the dim light of the fire. Octavia laughed from across the fire.

“Fine, I dare you to kiss Clarke.” Clarke shifted next to Lexa. She was probably repulsed at the idea of even kissing Lexa.

“O…” She trailed off, desperation seeping into her tone.

“I’m sorry.” Lexa whispered before she leaned into kiss Clarke. To Lexa’s surprise, Clarke didn’t seem distraught as she joined their lips. Instead, Clarke brought her hand to Lexa’s hip and pulled her closer.

“Lexa?” Lexa’s eyes flew open at the voice, cursing whoever woke her up from her dream.

“Hmm?” She rubbed her eyes and pulled Fall Out Boy from her ears.

“We’re at our first stop.” Since it was an eight-hour drive and no one wanted to hear high schoolers complain that they had to pee or were hungry, they were stopping for half an hour every two hours.

When she looked up, Lexa found Clarke watching her; Lexa’s glasses in Clarke’s outstretched hand. Lexa would have died a little if she weren’t aware that before she fell asleep there were five of her classmates surrounding them. Clarke’s bright blue eyes were traveling up and down Lexa’s profile.

“We’re not moving.” Lexa said brilliantly, taking her glasses from Clarke, so the world could be clear again. Clarke smiled, nodding her head.

“No, we parked about three minutes ago. I figured you might want to get some chow or something.” Lexa raised an eyebrow at the blonde.

“You let me sleep?” Clarke shrugged. Lexa’s mind started to catch up with reality. “Oh crap, you probably want to eat.” Lexa shot up too quickly, little black dots appearing in her eyes. She wobbled unsteadily.

“Be careful there.” Clarke grinned, putting her hand on Lexa’s arm in effort to steady her. “I don’t need to eat that badly. Besides if I really needed to, I could have climbed over the seats.” A mischievous glint settled in Clarke’s eyes. Lexa rolled her eyes but motioned for Clarke to exit. “Oh no, after you Shaky Legs.” Lexa grunted, but continued out of the coach bus. 

“Where are we anyway?” Lexa asked, looking for the rest stop’s sign. Unfortunately for Lexa it was one of those rest stops that was named after a president; John F. Kennedy to be exact.

“Wilmington.” Clarke said, holding the door open for Lexa. She hadn’t planned for her attraction to Clarke to develop into a crush, but the flutter of her heart indicated to Lexa that it had happened.

Once inside, the girls had dispersed into their respective groups. After a short bathroom break and a wait for her McDonald’s breakfast, Lexa found Echo, Niylah, Emori and Ontari. Her little brother Aden and his best friend Tris were at a table nearby, so after ruffling Aden’s hair, she slid into a chair next to Echo. “Hey Lexa.” Emori smiled, as Lexa was greeted with a chorus of similar salutations.

“Lexa, she’s in your group. What do you think?” Niylah asked, munching on her pancakes.

“What do I think about who?” Lexa asked; she hated when they gossiped about Skaikru. 

“We’re trying to figure out if Clarke is queer.” Ontari laughed. Lexa paused, clenching her jaw. They were right; she didn’t actually know if Clarke liked women. Still, Lexa felt slight jealousy bubble in her stomach. Niylah came out sophomore years with incredibly positive results Lexa was sort of already a little jealous (okay a lot jealous).

“She dated that Finn kid freshman year.” Lexa offered. Ontari and Niylah seemed to hem and haw.

“She could be bi?” Ontari offered, and Niylah just grinned.

“All I know is she is hot.” Niylah drooled. Ontari wasn’t much better. Echo and Emori just rolled their eyes. The rest of the break went by pretty normally. Echo and Emori compared Grounder boys to Skaikru boys, and Niylah and Ontari undressed the Skai princess with their eyes. At one point, Lexa couldn’t take it any longer so she sat with her brother, while he adorably tried to flirt with Tris. 

 “UGH, I’m so bored!” Clarke exclaimed, shaking Lexa from her book. Lexa laughed; it seemed like Clarke had been doing something nonstop since they left Albany forty-five minutes before. “Sorry.” Clarke forced a smile when she noticed Lexa looking up.

“It’s fine.” Lexa laughed, “What have you been doing that’s left you so bored?” She asked timidly.

“Drawing.” Clarke groaned, which confused the hell out of Lexa. From what she knew of Clarke, art was something she loved and was good at. “How messed up is that. I’ve been drawing for so long it’s boring me.” Lexa smiled; she had to admit, Clarke was cute when she was frustrated.

Lexa closed her book. “We could gossip?” Lexa tried to hold a straight face at the ridiculous suggestion. Clarke puffed a laugh, before turning down that suggestion.

“What are you reading?” Clarke nodded toward the book in Lexa’s hands.

Lexa laughed, fiddling with her ponytail nervously. “It’s uh… Water for Elephants.” She offered, a slight wave of embarrassment coming over her. Most of her classmates knew it as a movie Robert Pattinson was in, but Lexa was a bit of a history nerd, and she loved the setting. Clarke grinned.

“Nice, I love that book. I hate history, but last year the depression-era was my favorite.” Lexa scoffed, which made Clarke smile more.

“How can you hate history?” She challenged. Clarke shrugged, making a face.

“It’s simple. History was made for white heterosexual cisgender men. I get why we have to learn about it, I just don’t want to go back to it.” Lexa laughed; contemplating what the blonde had said.

“Oh I don’t want to go back, but it’s kinda cool to look at how others lived.” Lexa explained, “Especially since if I were to go back, I would not only be a woman, but I would also be,” Lexa didn’t realize she was going to admit to her sexuality until the word “gay,” was out of her mouth.

Clarke smiled, “I’d be okay, but just guys is so limiting. There are so many pretty girls.” She laughed; Lexa’s brain caught up slowly. Clarke possibly just admitted to being bisexual. “Ugh, why am I tired? It’s like four in the afternoon.” Clarke yawned.

Lexa smiled; Clarke’s yawn was adorable. “Sitting all day is weirdly tiring. If you’re tired, you should try to sleep. We still have like an hour before we get to the Adirondacks. We’ll still have to hike some before we pitch our tents.” Lexa offered. Clarke nodded, blinking longer than necessary each time. Within a few minutes, Clarke’s head fell onto Lexa’s shoulder and a warm and fuzzy feeling engulfed Lexa’s gut.

She was definitely screwed.

Chapter Text

The hike was thankfully quite short and it only took the group twenty minutes to set up the three tents. Clarke and Lexa were to share a tent, as they were the group captains, while Monty, Jasper and Lincoln were suppose to share, leaving Raven and Octavia to the last tent. That was the plan, though ten minutes after  Dr. Griffin came by for final check, Lexa could hear the shuffle of people. Clarke just laughed, moving around in her sleeping bag, probably trying to get comfortable. “That’s against the rules.” Lexa said, quietly, but earnestly. When your schooling requires a scholarship, you learn quickly to not disobey. 

Again, Clarke laughed, seemingly still uncomfortable. “Oh they’ll be fine. My mom’s our supervisor and she’s got kind of a soft spot for Octavia.” Lexa really tries to control the eye roll, but that level of privilege was downright ridiculous. 

“So the rich get free passes.” Lexa didn’t intend for it to be so snarky or angry, but the sass seeped into her voice. Clarke shot up in her sleeping bag, a fury Lexa hadn’t expected to see resting in her eyes. 

The venom in Clarke’s voice hit Lexa harder than she could’ve expected. “Don’t you ever say that Octavia get’s free passes. She has worked for her breaks in life.” Clarke’s soft eyes had turned to ice. “She has been to hell and back all before the age of fourteen.” When she was sure Clarke was finished, Lexa nodded, keeping her mouth shut and her eyes on Clarke’s. She wasn’t fearful of the blonde, but she was certain her respect had grown for Clarke. “Sorry,” both her gaze and voice softened, “it’s just, Octavia had kind of a rough childhood. Honestly she never broke any laws.” Clarke scoffed, seeming to be lost in a memory Lexa didn’t dare to ask about. “She don’t have a lot of people, so the ones she does are kinda protective.”

“You don’t have to explain Clarke. I was being may be a little curt. It’s been four years with you guys here, but it’s still weird. It’s still like you’re invading our home. You know, most of us have been here since we were nine.” Something about the dim light of the night made speaking her true feelings easier and more natural. 

Clarke shifted again in her sleeping bag and Lexa can’t take the constant rearranging all night she’s sure of it. “We did kinda crash into your territory and I’m sorry about that. It was kind of my fault.” Clarke must’ve been able to see the confusion on Lexa’s face. “My mom was going to start work here anyway and I got into some trouble with the legal system, and the courts basically said I need to find a reform school or juvenile detention center, so my mom pulled some strings and got this program piloted. I know, rich kids getting free passes.” Clarke said, a small smile on her lips.

“You got in trouble with the law?” Lexa mused, “somehow I don’t see you as a troublemaker.” Clarke was probably one of EARTH’s biggest rich delinquent success stories. If she wasn’t wrong, Clarke had applied to a whole bunch of prestigious colleges and had good chances of getting into a handful. 

Clarke clicked her tongue and moved in that damn polyester bag for what seemed for the umpteenth time. “That is a long story.” Lexa may not’ve known Clarke very well, but she was sure, by the sigh, that it was a sensitive subject. 

“Well, could you tell me the story of why you keep moving in your sleeping bag; Clarke I beg of you stop it.” Lexa sighed, exasperated. Clarke giggled a little bit, but Lexa could have sworn she saw a blush creep up Clarke’s cheeks.

“I, uh, I don’t normally sleep without this stuffed dolphin. It’s just something my dad won me our first time at a carnival and at the time it was bigger than I was tall and yeah. I’m not used to sleeping without a body or stuffed animal there.” Clarke seemed to start babbling, which of course made Lexa smile and feel the giddy feeling stir in the pit of her stomach.

It was a bad idea. Lexa knew it was a bad idea, yet still the words fell out of her mouth. “Well if you need a warm body, you can always come snuggle with me.” The silence was painful. The lack of a laugh or a grunt or a response was physically taxing. Lexa tried to summon an apology, but the words just wouldn’t come and for moments they were silent, then Clarke moved in her sleeping bag and Lexa figures she has her answer and it’ll just be awkward the rest of the long weekend would just be awkward. 

Lexa figured she had her answer until Clarke slid into her sleeping bag with her and snuggled into Lexa’s shoulder. “G’night Lexa.” Clarke said, astonishing Lexa with the rate at which she transformed from high strung and uncomfortable to sleepy and falling asleep. Lexa could feel herself smile into the top of Clarke’s head before gently placing her arm over Clarke’s body and letting herself fall asleep with the shorter girl in her ams. 

Clarke had to say, she had had the best night’s sleep in a long time. Who knew all she needed to feel safe in her bed was to sleep in a sleeping bag in the mountains and- oh. Oh shit. Logically, she knew she was squished into a sleeping bag with her maybe long time crush, yet still, she wiggled around, flexing her muscles and closing her fists. Luckily, luckily, the only things in her path were Lexa’s arms, so Clarke just pulled Lexa’s arms closer to her own chest. A slight groan vibrated against her back and Clarke half expected Lexa to open her eyes and pull away from Clarke, but the groan appeared not to signal Lexa’s alertness. 

Outside, there were rustles of bushes and giggles and footsteps, so Clarke assumed that everyone was returning to their assigned tents before Clarke’s mom came around to wake them up. Clarke knew she should make her way back to her own sleeping bag, but Lexa’s arms were wrapped tightly around Clarke and she truly hadn’t felt this safe since her father was killed. There was also the matter of the slight groans and snores that would escape Lexa ever few breaths, signaling that she was still in a fairly deep sleep. If Clarke craned her neck backwards, she could just catch a glimpse of Lexa’s small smile.

Clarke lost track of time. She wasn’t sure how many breathes passed or how many noises made her grin as she lazily traced the muscles in Lexa’s arm with her ring finger. “Clarke?” Abby called lightly, not bothering to unzip the flap of the tent and lean her head in. Clarke had been a light sleeper since Jake was killed and could be woken up by the drop of a pin. 

“Yeah Mom, I’m up.” Clarke tried to keep her voice quiet, as to not wake the girl who’s arms in which she currently resided, but powerful enough her mother wouldn’t suspect anything.

Abby mustn’t have noticed a difference in Clarke’s tone. “All right dear, well, make sure Lexa is up and get down to the pavilion for breakfast in half an hour.” Abby said, before moving to the next tent. Raven took significantly more effort to wake and Abby was well aware of that. 

Clarke squirmed in Lexa’s arms, so she faced the brunette. “Lexa?” Clarke asked softly, tempted to brush the back of her hand over the other girl’s cheek. 

“Clarke.” Lexa mumbled, tightening her grip on Clarke, who couldn’t help but smile a little. 

“Lexa.” Clarke cooed, the smile on her lips growing. “Lexa, it’s time to get up.” After another unintelligible mumble, Clarke smiled into Lexa’s chest and placed a small, chaste kiss just above Lexa’s sternum. “Lexa?” Clarke tried with a little more force after getting nothing in return.

“Clarke?” Lexa mumbled again, though this time her voice was stronger and one of her arms rose to rub her eyes. “Is there a reason you’re in my sleeping bag?” Lexa asked, the memories obviously a little groggy. “Not that I don’t enjoy a cuddle buddy.” Lexa added quickly. 

“You invited me last night.” Clarke summoned all the cockiness she could. “C’mon, we should get a move on.” Clarke, regrettably, started to shimmy out of Lexa’s sleeping bag and her warm embrace. “Breakfast is in twenty and if we’re not exactly on time Reyes will eat it all, trust me I’ve seen her eat.” Clarke grinned, offering a hand to help Lexa up. 

“Fine.” Lexa took the blonde’s hand, fatigue laced in her voice and the two got ready to face the day together.