Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jason was bleeding out in the batcave. Now this is a completely normal day for a former crime lord/now batman but the man was so caught up in the drug bust that he didn't notice the one goon who's blade was able to penetrate deeper than the other nicks scratches he got. He didn't notice the blood pooling at his feet, covering his combat boots as he knocked out all the criminals in his path.Only noticing when all of the criminals were down groaning on the floor that his vision was starting to blur at the edges, head hurting as a migraine formed at the loss of blood, his body feeling heavy.

Jason just makes it to the batcave before collapsing into a pile of limbs on the floor barely able to see anything. "Shit" he cussed "Really? this is how I'm going out, by a stab wound. Like I don't get stabbed every fucking day" he hissed through his teeth. He clicked the emergency button in his belt accepting his fate.He had become too reckless and he knew this.

Cassandra the now only member of batfamily was still in Hong Kong for a mission so there would be no way in hell she was going to make it on time to save him. He regretted the fact that his sister would have to find his bloody body on the floor of the batcave, she was going to be so upset that she couldn't do anything to save her last brother from dying, but pressing the emergency button was all Jason could to to prevent the enviable of Cass finding his rotting body weeks- even months after he died.

A moew came from next to Jason a soft paw coming in contact with his forehead. "Sorry Alfred, I can't play right now." Jason whispered as his vision fades in and out of consciousness. Another meow accompanied by a lick to the forehead came from the black cat and Jason closed his eyes hearing the cat retreat before coming back. He feels Alfred the cat put a piece of fabric on his forehead recognizing it as gauze, a tired chuckle leaves the dying vigilante mouth as he realizes that Alfred brought him bandages, a quirk Damian taught it after the real Alfred died. Jason's eyes glossed over as he remembers his youngest brother grin sharply and give a snarcky comment on how his cat was smarter than the rest of his family. Jason suddenly starts coughing violently, blood splattering across his face staining his cracked lips. The black haired man chokes out as more blood fills his airways, with burning lungs and a fuzzy brain Jason's coughs and chokes until his vision goes dark.

A gasp escaped Jason's lips as his eyes shoot open. He's eyes meeting a familiar yet unfamiliar ceiling. "Where am I?" The dark haired male thinks as he sits up. His bones felt stiff and cracked at the motion of him sitting up. Once his eyes adjusted he's heart drops. He was back at his old childhood apartment?

"Fuck this can't be happening?" He said desperately jumping to his feet and realizing that he was shorter, everything else in the room looking bigger that it's supposed to. Jason takes a deep breath staring at his small hands, his usually calloused hands cracked from years of fighting now smooth and unscared, well almost unscared. Was he dreaming or dead? The boy walked to the door, a mirror hanging behind it like how he remembered. He remembered sharing this room with his mom, but she barely used it, crashing on the couch on most nights when she was to fucked up to move.

"Jason, baby are you okay in there?" A dazed voice asked from the other side of the door. He recognizes that voice it as his mom. "Yeah.." he awnsers shakily his young voice cracking making him cringe. " baby can you come out I need to ask you to do something please." Her soft voice asked making Jason stop his mental breakdown and approach the door.

he opens the door to see his former living room. The apartment was a mess which wasn't unusual well atleast for a 10 year old Jason. He finds his stepmother sitting on the couch head turned to smile at him. "Hey, I need you to run an errand for me" She says an exhausted smile on her pale face. "Go buy a bread for us, if there's change ge- bring it back okay?" Jason remembers this conversation even though he wished he hadn't. The way his mothers eyes where dark and sunken into her skull the way her once rosy lips were slightly blue and chapped. He hated this.

Jason found out that he was in fact not in hell, or heaven, or in any other after life. He was back in the past, before he met Bruce. Of course he couldn't be blessed with the though of eternal rest. Whoever was upstairs injoyed his suffering to much, because laying there in a pile of his own blood on the floor dying, all Jason could think about was that he was going to see his family again. He wanted to see Bruce again and tell him how sorry he was. How he regretted judging him for his actions and for not killing the joker, when he himself had to carry the burden of the suit.

He wanted to hold Dick in his arms and tell him everything was okay and that he didn't have to be strong for all of them. That he was an amazing older brother. He wanted to tell Tim that he was his brother and maybe even his favorite. That he was sorry for all the things he had done to him, even if later on in thier days together Jason and Tim became close, Tim becoming Jason's robin after Dick and Damain died and even though Tim never said it, Jason knew he forgave him.

He wanted to teach damian that it was okay to be weak, not always needing to defend ones honor and that he didn't need to fight to become part of the family, that he was just a kid and could make mistakes. He wanted to see Steph and Duke the years making them grow even more apart then what they were before. He wanted to see his family again but in a way he could still do that.
He was in the past after all.

When he went out in this timeline, which he rarely did, he would hear the rumors about Batman fighting big named villains or see news papers with blurred front pictures with the dark knight on it. Jason couldn't remember the exact date when he met the older vigilante. He found himself wondering if he even wanted to meet him at all. Could he really go through all of that again? Becoming robin, dying and coming back as Red Hood just to see all his family members die one by one.

Could he, Could he really?

He loved his family but his life was less that colorfull with them, he felt like he was the reason and cause for most of the families fights. He was always fighting with Bruce and Cass because of his killing and Bruce's no killing rule and Cassandra'sown opinion on killing.Dick's insistence on trying to get him to come to the manor more often or to interact with the family more. Jason just straight up trying to kill Tim multiple times and damian just being a total brat.Only at the end did they start to understand each other and fought less. But it was already too late. It was always too late.

Maybe he didn't want to walk down any alleys to jack tires.

Chapter Text

Jason was still in shock the first few days before realizing this wasn't the first time he came back from the dead, only this time he wasn't the age he died. He spent most of those first weeks walking around the apartment dragging his hand against the off white walls, leaving a chalky residue on his hand from the cheap paint the walls were painted with. He would sit on the floor of the living room while his mom was passed out on the coach, his head resting against her arm that hanged off the side of the couch or hug her extra long trying to soak up whatever he could from his first real mother figure before the enviable happened.

And fuck did he miss her when he was older.

It's not like Jason didn't try, he tried hiding her needles. Tried throwing he coke packets away and even telling her bastard of a dealer that she wasn't there when he came. Nothing helped he even tried begging her to stop using his now young age and tears against her. She agreed only for Jason to knock shoulders with her dealer in the hallway coming back from the shop and a high Catherine on the couch again. Jason swore he was burn that fucking couch.

Jason closed the door with a thud and a click.

"Mom, I'm back" he said in a monotone voice, he's been like this ever since he came back. Unable to feel much. He felt like he was watching his life though a foggy mirror it felt more like he was reliving in his memories then in the present.
"Mom?" The black haired boy questioned, when he didn't hear a reply form his mother. He approached the couch her body slumped limply against it.

His heart skipped a beat.

No.

No.

fuck, not again

He couldn't do this again.

He walked until he stood right next to her putting his pointer and middle finger on her neck. His suspicions being confirmed. His mother was dead.

Again.

And Jason couldn't do anything about it. No, he didn't TRY to do anything about it at least not hard enough. He knew this would happen yet he didn't take action, he wasn't forceful enough to make her stop.

To make her stay...

This was the moment Jason realized that this was real. That his redo in this entire life was real. He had a chance to live his life however he wanted it without being influenced or forced to live like someone he that didn't want to be.

Not anymore.

Jason didn't feel like fighting other people's war's anymore, he didn't have a sense of justice to fulfill, 20 years of his life was dedicated to it in his past life, and that was enough for him. He was going to take this opportunity and make it his no matter what.

Jason phoned the ambulance the hand that was holding the phone shaking as he speaks to an uninterested lady on the other side of the phone. This probably being her seventh similar phone call. He packed a bag knowing that if he stayed when the ambulance arrived they would call CPS and put him in an orphanage or a foster home.

The former drug lord knew that in the past some orphanages in Gotham were just trafficking rings disguised as safe places for kids, selling them to the highest bidders or using them as cheap labor. That it would be years before a vigilante named Red Hood would put an immediate stop to those trafficking rings and start caring enough to try and make some safer foster homes and orphanages, so no he was not going to take that chance. With a kiss to Catherine's forehead and one last glance, Jason jumps out of the window of his childhood home apartment leaving nothing too valuable behind before landing on the fire escape.

Months after Catherin's death Jason found himself still on the filthy streets of Gotham. He was contempt with that fact, deep down he would always be a street kid at heart. No matter how much money he got as a crime lord, or being the son of a billionaire you could never scrub off the grime that came with surviving, starving and fighting like a animal on the streets of Gotham's Crime Alley. The only way to feel human was to be with other humans and that is the predicament Jason found himself in being followed by a small boy named Tyler he was timid, small and pale with big adorable blue eyes and strawberry blond hair. Perfect adoption material if he does say so himself, which was what Jason did the fist night the two met a week after Jason became homeless. The small boy was being picked on by some low ranking gang members of Black Mask's gang. Jason's Red Hood instincts kicked in, years of muscle memory making him beat the criminals into a heap of limps at the middle of and alleyway, it was no were near perfect with Jason being half his height and body weight he used to be making him get thrown around and punched a few times. Hey, at least he won in the end, a little chick in tow. Now the two were laying on a rooftop of the bakery the helped unpack boxes from. "Jason we've known each other for months now, but you never told me how you became a street kid" Tyler said hesitantly unsure of how Jason would react. The black haired boy shifted his eyes to the smaller boy. He was laying on his back hands behind his head to protect it from the hard rocks beneath it.

"Wait, I haven't? I mean my story probably isn't much different from yours" Jason yawned before continuing "My dad's a deadbeat criminal, who's in prison and my mom died of an overdose not too long ago, what about you?" asked the former vigilante rolling onto his side to stare at the 10 year old who was huddling into the blanket Jason had taken from his house the younger boy had first rejected the offer but Jason was quite persistent on keeping his kid safe. If his siblings were here they would have made fun of him for the whole adopting a kid thing. " Same, well kind off? My foster parents are like that, drug addict's, that's why I'm mostly outside. I mean it's better than gettin' beaten for stupid shit all the time and having to breath all that shit in 24/7 you know? Sometimes I wonder why my parents gave me up, like they didn't even give me a chance you know, just, BAM straight into a children's home! I think that's why I stay on the streets, I'm hoping that one day I'll pass them and they'll be like, Tyler, is that you? Oh Baby, we've been looking for you, sorry for leaving!" Tyler exclaimed dramaticly making his voice high pitched and airy to imitate what Jason assumed he though his mother sounded like. Jason puffed out a laugh before moving closer to the boy who looked sadder now. He threw his arm around the blond giving him a tight squeeze. "You know what that might not be impossible" Jason found himself thinking about his Red Hood days how he though that Bruce never really cared about him when he retuned from the LOA only to find out nothing had changed in this absents, that the joker was alive and still hurting others like he hurt Jason. He took that as a sign that Bruce, his dad didn't care enough about him to avenge him. Only to find out years far to late that that was not the case at all. Stupid Bruce and his lack of communication skills. He means he knows the guy is traumatized but weren't they all. " Don't give up kid there could still be a possibility" the older ended looking to the other to find eyes glossed over with hope and appreciation.

Chapter Text

A year ago if you told Jason that he would be a leader of a child gang, while being a child himself he would have laughed in your face while he slapped his knee and continued on with his day, but it was no laughing matter for the current Jason, a bit adorable, but not funny. He found himself one evening with Tyler finishing one of the odd jobs for one of the many small business who had no problem with child labor when they bumped into a small group of kids.

"HEY Fuckers! what do yah think ya doin' stealin' all the jobs on our turf?!',a young boy shouted he had choppy brown hair it was matted and dirty like most kid's hair in the Alley, and like most alley kids his clothes were old and had a few scrapes and tears here and there, the two kids following behind in the same state. A boy and girl followed behind him the boy looked nervous his shoulders tense, his eyes shifting from his friend to Jason who he saw was the taller and older of the two. The girl though looked just as angry and smug as the yelling boy storming towards them. With a quick step Jason moved in front of Tyler incase the other boy decided to attack him. Seeing this the brown haired boy stopped in his tracks and gave Jason a glare that could kill, unfortunately for this chick Jason had enough of dying for one lifetime." Sorry Chickadee, I was unaware that Crime Alley belonged to yah, please do excuse my rude behavior". Jason said dramatically making Tyler snort behind him, already use to his antics and weird nicknames by now. The girl behind Chickadee scoffed "Alex this guy's makin' fun of you, why don'tcha teach him a lesson!" said the little Duck, yes that is what Jason is gonna call her from now on. "Come on Alex don't listen to Amber we can just find somewhere else to get a job-'' stated Pipit before the little duck cut him off "Shut the fuck up Evan no one asked you!", What a shit stirrer though Jason as he dodged and punch from Chickadee or Alex before grabbing his arm a twisting it behind him not enough to hurt him, he was just a kid but only enough to make him uncomfortable.

"Now, now my young little birds ya should really be nicer to one another, what do you say Chickadee!" hummed Jason as he held tighter onto Alex's arm making the boy groan uncomfortably, Evan and Amber both looked scared for their friend, Amber trying to hide it." hey, could you please let him go, he was being stupid. Don't hurt him!" said Pipit poor kid looked like he was gonna shit himself which was rude because Jason wasn't even gonna hurt the kid so why's he stressing. " I just wanna know why he's being a bit of a bitch, clearly there is something wrong, what are yall in trouble with a gang or something?" with that statement Jason found himself becoming worried for these kids, could they be in some kind of trouble? He never saw any Alley kids fight underneath each other for turf, not when he was a street kid his first time and not as Red hood.

"It's none of your fucking business bitch." spat Alex in anger as he started to thrash in Jason's hold to bad for him Jason used to be a trained vigilante." His sister is in trouble, kinda."Jason paused and looked up making eye contact with Pipit the boy had shrunk more into himself when he noticed Jason looking at him. " She's been selling her body to pedo's to pay off the bastards who loaned money to my stupid gambling addicted parents." finished Alex eyebrows furrowed lip getting worried between his teeth. He looked like he wanted to cry and Jason could understand. This is why Gotham needed Red Hood because when Batman and Robin were to busy fighting psychopaths who were looking out for the kids? Jason let Alex go eyes softening as he watched the kid scurry to his friends all of them looking somber. "Well in that case why don't me and Tyler here join you, we can form a alliance of sorts." "WHAT! you can't be serious right now Jason they tried to beat us up!" yelled the blond haired boy who had been quiet for most of the interaction.

" Yeah and also why would we wanna form anything with you, we barley know you!" pouted the little duck as she crossed her arms." well because strenght is better in numbers, think about it Chickadee the more people you have in this gang of yours the more income you have meaning your sister won't need to do anything she does not want to do, and me a chickpea here have extra protection being in a group, it's a win win situation think about it." finished the oldest of the group yes the part if Tyler and Jason needing help was a lie because Jason could easily defend them both with his training. He could see in the corner of his eye the side eye Tyler gave him when he gave that excuse clearly seeing through his bullshit. Jason just smiled at the three kids in front of him that he has grown concerned of in a spand of a few minutes, oh he was never gonna get rid of the you have the same adoption problem as your dad allegations, but hell at least no one was here to see it. before Jason could get sad at the thought of his family Alex approached him again this time much calmer than the last and stuck a hand out to his.

"you got yourself a deal, pretty boy."