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“Yo, Cart?”
“What, Disco?”
“You good? You've been acting funny. Like, weirder than normal.”
“...I'm fine.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“You don't sound so sure.”
“..I don't know.”
“You do know.”
“I do know.”
“What's bothering you? Be honest.”
“I… I'm not sure. It just.. the thoughts get so loud sometimes. The music doesn't tune them out. Sleeping doesn't turn them off. When they don't go away, I start listening and it's just..”
“Everyone always seems better than me somehow. And I don't want my problems to be someone else's problem since I can handle myself just fine. I can handle myself perfectly, so I don't know what's going on with me.”
“Nobody would notice if I suddenly disappeared. I wouldn't be missed, don't fucking lie to me. Don't lie that you care. Don't lie and say you understand, because you don't.”
“The thing is, I know people care about me, but my mind doesn't know that. I hate that you care. I hate that R.D. cares. Why do you care? What did I do for you guys to care?”
“As far as I'm aware, I'm gonna end up dead and rotting on the floor of my apartment and no one would notice until I was already gone.”
“That's a lot of words, man.”
“I know.”
“Ya know, I care cause you're my friend.”
“...Why am I your friend?”
“Cause I care for you.”
“People care cause, well, they can. Why need a reason?”
“...I don't know.”
“You don't have to.”
“You aren't like.. unstoppable or whatever either. You have feelings, why hide them? You're not broken or whatever. Feelings are normal.”
“I won't say I understand, cause I doubt I do, but I mean it when I say I care. You're still young and you're my friend. I care.”
“You're weird.”
“Says you, haha.”
“Pretty sure a lot of people would notice if you suddenly disappeared. I know I would.”
“R.D. would stop at nothing to find you, too.”
“Your boss is shitty and all, but pretty sure he'd notice if you stopped coming to work one day.”
“...”
“You don't have to be strong if it only makes it harder.”
“I guess.”
“Love ya, dude. Hope you know that.”
“...Mhm.”
“Disco, I'm sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“I'm nothing but a problem to you.”
“I don't think you're a problem. Don't be sorry.”
“But I am.”
“Guess I can't change that.”
“Well, you're forgiven then.”
…
Disco is stupid. Really stupid. Forgiving what shouldn't be forgiven. Accepting what shouldn't be accepted. Disco is an idiot.
“Cart?”
“What? Sorry.”
“Stop apologizing!”
But he's kind of cool.