Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

agent a: Master Timothy, if you do not go to sleep I shall have to sedate you.

purple rain: ohohohoho this should be good

cass raised a cain: what have you done this time brother

timbits: WHAAAAAAAT

timbits: but i didnt do anything?????

jaybird: bro you havent slept in like four days

timbits: i had a case

dickhead: oh yeah? what case?

timbits: that one. with the top.

dickhead: yuhuh right cos i was talking to wally who was talking to bart and wally said that bart said that he cissie and kon stopped the top on monday

timbits: oh.

purple rain: busted!!!

timbits: this is a long shot but... back me up here dami????? lil d??????? plz plz plz?????

sword baby: Drake, you're an idiot. Besides, only Grayson is permitted to call me Lil' D. Goodbye.

eye in the sky-fi: double busted.

timbits: babs please

agent a: Young masters and misses, I rest my case.

jaybird: HAburn

dickhead: jay no this isnt the noughties

dickhead: well ANYWAY tim needs sleep

daddybats: I agree.

daddybats: What are we talking about?

cass raised a cain: scroll up

Chapter Text

daddybats: Tim, I need the info on the Two-Face breakout.

timbits: yup here you go uhuh

timbits sent an audio recording.

dickhead: ...all those in favor of telling him that the file is just a recording of guy gardner singing jolene by dolly parton while kyle shouts at him?

purple rain: nah let him stew

purple rain: i wanna see where this goes!

jaybird: babs, are you getting this?

eye in the sky-fi: honey i'm gonna have more screenshots of this than the time duke found the discowing travesty

dickhead: THAT WAS NOT A TRAVESTY

dickhead: WALLY SAID I LOOKED HOT AND IT BROUGHT OUT MY ASS

cass raised a cain: everything brings out your ass

eye in the sky-fi: dick honey wally is biased and horny

jaybird: wait where is duke

timbits: we know a duke?

dickhead: tim do you want to be sedated again???

timbits: [shruggie face - look up later]

jaybird: okay who gave him access to emoticons??

daddybats: I don't know, you can't get that one on the pre-installed WayneTech keyboard.

timbits: fut.dxtfh.x.f..«hfh.xh.f«.¥;..;«fbbfhf¿\

timbits: /^'¿\hlfîøöö"u^

dickhead: dear god

Chapter Text

sword baby: Is Drake asleep?

let there be light: i think so? i walked past his room earlier and he looked asleep

dickhead: duke, when comes to tim's sleep, you must always check thrice if you think he is actually asleep

agent a: Master Richard, I agree entirely. However, today I have given Master Timothy some soothing chamomile tea, therefore I am wont to trust Master Duke.

agent a: Ah, I believe Miss Stephanie has just come online. Perhaps she will be able to give us a new insight?

purple rain: tim? asleep? nah hes surfing the darkweb and trolling coke dealers with bernard

jaybird: how romantic

dickhead: *hopeful look* timber?

purple rain: oh that ships sailed alright

dickhead: TIMBER

let there be light: sorry im a lil bit lost

eye in the sky-fi sent a file.

let there be light: hoooooooly crap

sword baby: That's accurate, Thomas.

sword baby: But to answer my original question, I take it that Drake is not sleeping?

purple rain: uhuh

sword baby: The imbecile. He should be well-rested if he is to fight crime.

dickhead: and?

sword baby: And spar with me tomorrow.

jaybird: awww, you do care!

sword baby: No, I merely wish to have a worthy opponent. Who is also free at that time.

jaybird: yuhuh sureeeee

sword baby: Imply that I care about Drake again and I will carve you open from navel to chin.

timbits: äae wwe takong abyt mě¿

dickhead: um.

agent a: Young Master Timothy, you go right to sleep this instant.

timbits: ók

jaybird: *insert "nervous okay" meme here*

eye in the sky-fi sent a video.

Chapter Text

impuls(ive): HI!!!!!!!!!!!

superman jr: dear god not the exclamation marks

superman jr: its literally too early for thissss

impuls(ive): BUT KON ITS YOUNG JUST US!!!!!!!

sparkly earrings: kon's right. go to sleep bart.

robin redbreast: to SLEEP???

superman jr: its 3 am what the actual hell

robin redbreast: wdym its 3 am??

sparkly earrings: check your phone clock tim.

robin redbreast: awwww alfreds gonna kill me

impuls(ive): YEAH!!!!!!!!

superman jr: to be fair we should probably get some sleep too

sparkly earrings: wanna bet?

impuls(ive): PARRRRRTAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

sparkly earrings: *raises eyebrow*

impuls(ive): RESPONSIBLE SCIENTIFIC SURRRRVVVEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

robin redbreast: wait cant i come

sparkly earrings: if you do not go to bed right now with all your screens and sources of light turned off i will not hesitate to call donna and ask her to use her lasso of persuasion and force you to sleep.

superman jr: wow thats hot

sparkly earrings: shut UP kon.

impuls(ive): please go to bed, tim.

sparkly earrings: bart sweetie did i scare you?

impuls(ive): no no im okay

impuls(ive): im going to kons and if tim gets out of bed hell hear and we can fly over there and poke him until he falls asleep

robin redbreast: the thing is, i know he might actually do that so ima get into bed now

superman jr: tim... you know i can hear that ur still at the batcomputer

robin redbreast: im saying goodnight to bernard and all of my open cases

sparkly earrings: why do i feel like i'm the only sane one here?

superman jr: uh cos you are

impuls(ive): GUYS WALLY TEXTED THAT DICK TEXTED THAT TIM IS ACTUALLY SAYING GOODNIGHT TO HIS CASES!!!!!!!!!

robin redbreast: well yeah

sparkly earrings: ...

superman jr: ...

impuls(ive): ...

robin redbreast: good night guys

sparkly earrings: sweet dreams!

impuls(ive): NIGHT ILYSM!!!!!!!

superman jr: night!!

Later...

Secret: Secret.

robin redbreast: HOLY CRAP THIS IS WHY I DONT SLEEP WHAT THE HELL WHO ARE YOU

Chapter Text

timbits: im tired

purple rain: go to sleep then idiot

timbits: i cant

jaybird: whaddya mean you can't

timbits: i mean i literally cant fall asleep

timbits: im trying and trying and trying

sword baby: Drake, you're the one who fills yourself with caffeine. If you can't fall asleep, don't be surprised and bother complaining.

timbits: its not like that you dont understand

eye in the sky-fi: try us, see what happens

timbits: no point

dickhead: tim come talk to me in person

timbits: im going out

dickhead: tim, wait!

cass raised a cain: tim come back

cass raised a cain: tim?

let there be light: tim?

agent a: Master Richard, Miss Cassandra, Master Duke, I would urge you to give Master Timothy some space. He will be quite alright - I believe he is going up to the roof to message Master Bernard.

dickhead: okay, as long as he's safe

===timmy and bernie===

timmy: bernard can we talk

bernie: sure, what's up

timmy: i cant do it

timmy: i cant fall asleep and my family dont understand

bernie: oh, timbean, its okay

bernie: you dont have to fall asleep

timmy: are you sure

bernie: you can just lie somewhere comfortable and rest

timmy: will that make me not tired

bernie: it might. it might not. but it will help you relax, and with your lifestyle... thats something you need to do every so often

timmy: really?

bernie: yeah, just reset and start a fresh day feeling even just the tiniest bit better

timmy: ily berns

bernie: ily too

timmy sent a photo.

bernie: tsghsfhjghifksfg soooooo cuteeeeee

timmy: i saw it on patrol last week, babs was watching through my mask camera and screenshotted for me

bernie: oh its too cute

bernie: i wanna puppa like that!!

timmy: it would be our baby!

bernie: ...would it

timmy: OH MY GODS i did not mean that that was probably so creepy and. im sorry.

bernie: if we get a girl i think daisy

bernie: if we get a boy i think flip

timmy: :o

bernie: get into bed and turn your phone off, ya doofus

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dickhead: guys

dickhead: i think tim might be asleep

eye in the sky-fi: i can confirm, ive accessed the security footage of his bedroom

daddybats: Normally I would be concerned, but right now I'm just too happy about Tim to care.

let there be light: im guessing this is great news?

jaybird: yeah, definitely. tim sleeping is about as rare as deepslate emerald ore

let there be light: woah...

dickhead: i feel old, i dont even know what deepslate is lol

jaybird: thats because you havent even logged in for years!!

dickhead: well im sorry that i have a LIFE, and a JOB, and a FIANCE and dont have time to play video games any more

jaybird: hmph

dickhead: HMPH

purple rain: so, about tim

eye in the sky-fi: yeah i think he might be waking up now actually

cass raised a cain: how long was he asleep for

eye in the sky-fi: 6hr give or take

timbits: Hi fam! I just had a really long, refreshing nap!

agent a: How do you feel, Master Timothy?

timbits: Like I don't need to get myself an IV drip filled with pure caffeine, so, great!

dickhead: wow

timbits: I might go to the park with Bernard now, if that's okay?

daddybats: Go for it

jaybird: enjoy your date!

purple rain: yeah, have fun

timbits: Bye!

jaybird: well that was a nice little one off

let there be light: yeah it was

sword baby: Todd, your assistance will be required.

jaybird: yeah yeah whaddaya want devilspawn

sword baby: Whenever we play Minecraft together, Jonathan always brings me flowers/cookies/axolotl buckets/other small items. What does he mean?

jaybird: jons asking you out through the medium of sandbox gaming

sword baby: Oh.

==bonus==

cutie in question: GUYS URGENT

sackface: WHAT IS IT EDWARD

cutie in question: ITS RED ROBIN

professor quirrel: WHAT ABOUT HIM

cutie in question: HE HAD A LONG NAP

eerily committed cosplayer: so... so hes not tired?

sackface: or high on caffeine

cutie in question: idk about not being tired, jervis, but hes certainly...

but sweetie i have a bigger hammer: refreshed?

professor quirrel: okay does anyone have any plots currently ongoing?

plant babe: i do

plant babe: but i can move it, eco terrorism can happen anywhere

but sweetie i have a bigger hammer: thats the spirit darling!

sackface: okay so we run and hide

cutie in question: think so, yeah

professor quirrel: we can do that

eerily committed cosplayer: of course we can do that, were the gotham rogues

but sweetie i have a bigger hammer: and we're family

Chapter Text

rob: wally can i ask your advice on something

walls: anything babe

rob: wait two things

wally: well get on with it

rob: is the discowing suit good

walls: it looked better when it was hanging off you in shreds

rob: oh i remember that...

walls: mmmm

rob: MMMM

walls: number 2?

rob: oh yeah.

rob: im worried about timmy

walls: is he okay?

rob: i mean, mostly, aside from the obvious secret vigilante thing, but he barely sleeps. like at all.

walls: yeah i was at the weekly flashfam dinner and i was chatting to bart

walls: i asked him how his week went and he said it was good, beat up some bad guys, the usual, but that tim hadn't slept in a while

rob: yeah

walls: honestly tim needs to sort himself out bc its affecting the young justice team, its affecting you and the rest of the batfam, and its affecting us as well - as in, flashfam, superfam, wonderfam, you name. tims becaome quite a big part of the jl and the hero world at large

rob: i know. hes got alfred stressed

rob: and hes ALFRED

rob: i mean seriously

rob: im scared hes gonna get someone killed

walls: i know baby, its gonna be okay

walls: want me to come over?

rob: yes plz

=====

adopted father of my biological child: royyyyyy

biological father of my adopted child: yes jayyyyyyyyyyyyy

adopted father of my biological child: i need your latest pictures of lian. now.

biological father of my adopted child: are you sure youre ready for this?????? are you sure?!?!?!?!?!?!

adopted father of my biological child: hit me

biological father of my adopted child sent a photo.

biological father of my adopted child: shes not a rhythm stick but here you go

adopted father of my biological child: awww

adopted father of my biological child: bleh i think i melted

biological father of my adopted child: i did warn you...

adopted father of my biological child: ...yeah i guess you did

biological father of my adopted child: so, jace, are you okay?

adopted father of my biological child: yeah yeah im good

biological father of my adopted child: jay, imma be honest with you. i was addicted to heroin for years, and you met me before that, so you saw everything along with my family - the arrowfam and the titans and the outlaws obviously. you saw what it did to me. and the thing that helped me go cold turkey, the thing that helped me recover, the thing that helped me heal?

biological father of my adopted child: honesty.

biological father of my adopted child: so godammit jason todd, tell me whats wrong or so help me

adopted father of my biological child: dayum you should go into public speaking

biological father of my adopted child: dont me make pull the were-engaged card

adopted father of my biological child: fine. its actually tim. hes working himself to the bone, and im actually so worried about him

adopted father of my biological child: ik i act like some antagonistic, violent jerkface, but i love my family. i love them so much.

biological father of my adopted child: i know. its hard not to love your family

adopted father of my biological child: you are the best, roy

=====

damiii: Jonathan, may we speak awhile?

Jon: sure!! :D

Jon: i can fly over???? whatever you need!!!!

damiii: Yes, this would be better in person.

Jon: np, omw!!!!

damiii: Be careful when entering the manor, I believe West is visiting Grayson.

Jon: yessirree

Jon: oh and i know a ton abt insomnia!!

damiii: How did you know Drake was the cause of my distress?

Jon: well, i didnt, but you just confirmed it!!!¡!

damiii: ...Thank you.

Jon: <333