Archive of Our Own

Riku can’t believe it. He simply can’t believe how the always focused, hard-working and passionate person like him is completely out of focus – but his vision is blurry, his fingers snapping on the shutter button of his camera without even thinking about it, his knees trembling like a dry lief carried by wind.

This is a routine for him, or, well, it is supposed to be. He’s taken thousands of pictures like this before. He does this multiple times a week, even. It’s Thursday evening, the sun has already set, and this shoot was supposed to be wrapped up hours ago. But the model keeps demanding more shots, insisting that he can do a much better job if given a chance. Well, Riku puts the blame for the mediocre photos on himself, but he doesn’t admit that, of course. The model, who keeps stubbornly taking the blame, despite looking absolutely flawless, is one of the rising stars of South Korean modeling industry, his hourly rate far beyond something that Riku could dream of affording, his face ornamenting posters of luxury brands all over the continent. No wonder that he is the most sought-after model at the moment, after all, if this is the mirror of his dedication and perfectionism at work. Except… except it isn’t really it. Riku can’t pinpoint what it is, but he’s sure – Jaehee is one of the strangest models he’s ever worked with.

And this isn’t even the first time that he is taking photos of Jaehee. 

Namely, a week ago Jaehee showed up at the door of his studio, unannounced, as a replacement for another model who called in sick at the last minute. The excuse was weak – some headache, maybe nausea, a bit of coughing as well. Riku wasn’t buying any of it, but it wasn’t his own project the shoot was for, so he couldn’t be bothered. At first, at least. 

It was a pictorial for the newest fashion collection by a close friend of his, the up-and-coming designer and stylist Oh Sion. Not a huge gig , Sion convinced him, no stress about it . It’d be just you, your little studio and two male models, basically free money, according to the designer. And well, even the designer himself couldn’t be bothered to be there as he had one of those emergency meetings somewhere in Europe. Riku could only dream about the day he’d be so big that an unplanned work trip to a whole new continent could pop up at any given moment. Well, Sion maybe wasn’t there, but his intern Ryo was, so Riku wasn’t fully unsupervised. And what happened was that just twenty minutes before the shoot Ryo tapped Sakuya’s shoulder, his peer doing the intern job for Riku, to tell his boss that Sion is sending in an emergency replacement.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be here on time, with makeup and hair already done, I’ll just hand him the outfit to change into it.” Ryo spoke directly to Riku as Sakuya convinced him that his boss is not as scary as his focused face might make him look.

Ryo wasn’t lying, exactly at 6PM, when the photoshoot was scheduled, a doorbell echoed through the otherwise dead-silent studio, inhabited by four awkward individuals pretending to scroll through their phones.

“Sakuya, please open the door and lead him straight to the changing room, I’ll adjust the lighting.”

Both Sakuya and Ryo jumped up from their chairs, their young legs as light as feathers, following the command immediately. Riku used up the waiting time to add the finishing touches to the set background, already directing the other model, always obedient Tokuno Yushi, to move around while he was testing the big picture through his viewfinder.

Despite always holding his camera firmly in his hands, it slid down his face as soon as the lens detected the emergency replacement walking up to Yushi, greeting him with a deep bow, then turning to the photographer to greet him as well.

“I’m Jaehee, I’ll work hard so please take pretty pictures of me.”

The flash accidentally went off. 

“Hi… Jaehee.” He stuttered, his palms sweating, ruining the otherwise perfect grip he usually has around his camera.
“Are you ok, boss?” Sakuya approached him with a bottle of water, but it was rejected.

Riku promptly brought the viewfinder back to his right eye, immediately kicking off with the shoot, his dry mouth unable to even give a verbal cue.

It was an unusual workday for him, but not much more than it was for everyone else on that set.

Usually as a photographer one can only pray to Gods of visual arts that the hired models would have chemistry, but every single touch between Jaehee and Yushi was driving him insane. Clenching his teeth, he tried to hold back, he tried his best to make zero remarks and wrap it up as soon as possible, but, hardly even twenty pictures in, he broke the character.

He shouted his intern’s name the way he never had before, the youngest freezing on the spot. 

“I think we have to rearrange the set. Sakuya, can you put the other chair, maybe like, about 3 meters away from the first one?”

“Are you sure that is a good idea? The concept should be–” Ryo interrupted, quickly realizing that his boss’ whole vision was being completely ignored by the photographer. Having two models so far away makes little to no sense in any case, especially as the whole collection was built around the idea of creating dreams together.

“If mister Sion cared about it, he’d be here tonight. And he’d make sure that his original model was actually here.” Riku’s tone was bratty, his body language unpleasant.

Ryo decided not to waste time on talking back, instead he walked out, in protest, dialing his boss’ number. Riku knew exactly what Ryo was doing behind the closed door, but he didn’t care. 

For the first time ever he felt like his professionalism was way below the accepted level, but the madness did not allow him to act any different. He continued the gig in silence, only allowing annoyed huffs every time Jaehee would get closer to Yushi.

“We’ll wrap it up here, thank you.”
“Boss, I think that Ryo had one more outfit prepared for today.” Sakuya was just as surprised by the sudden announcement as the two models were.

“I’ll rearrange it with Yushi for another day, I’m tired now. We’ll do it when Sion is back and Wonbin is recovered.” He sighed, connecting the camera to his MacBook.
“Did I not do a good job?” Jaehee appeared behind him, the warm breath tickling his skin.

“You did well, it’s just that I already had a concept with Wonbin and Yushi in my head. I can’t get the shoot I want no matter how much I tried. It’s on me.”
“Maybe if you did not force us apart you’d get one, like this,” Jaehee takes the chair to his left, sitting down onto it and pulling the standing Riku by the waist, his whole body flicking, “this would be a good one.”

Riku’s heart starts pounding at the reflection he sees in the mirror, his already sweaty palms almost dripping wet now. He pushed Jaehee away, clearing his throat: “This was good too. You did a good job.”
“Can I at least take a look at the pictures?”
Jaehee takes the MacBook before the verbal permission, already clicking through the folder that Riku had opened.

He expected Jaehee's skin to be soft and feel luxurious, he's paid millions to endorse high end products, after all, but the touch of Jaehee's palm on the top of his hand as they're clicking through the folder together still took him by surprise. Nevertheless, it hardly compared to the fragrance their scents created mixing up in the little bubble of their own. Riku started noticing every mole on Jaehee's face, his mind creating poems about how beautiful each and every makes him.

The bubble was difficult to burst to the point that Yushi spent minutes tiptoeing around the two, trying to find his chance to announce his departure from the set.

“Daeyoung-ah, give me a call when you're in Paris next week, we could hang out again.”

Riku gulped, did Yushi really have to share his and Jaehee's private plans loudly like that, right in front of his face? Was he showing off? 

Jaehee and Yushi, alone, in Paris. There was a piercing ache somewhere in his chest, but impossible to locate. It caused a series of coughs, partially real and partially faked, but enough to excuse himself and take a step outside, hoping to breathe in some fresh, nocturnal air.

Ryo clocked out too, seeing Riku taking time out in front of the entrance door to the building making sure to let him know, in a very indirect way, that he disapproved massively of the work done that day.

When he finally decided to go back up, knowing that waiting for Jaehee to leave first could take him all night, Sakuya was packing his bag. He missed the opening of his backpack completely, the water bottle ending up on the floor instead, as he curiously observed the way Jaehee pulled his boss closer to the screen, forcing him to continue analyzing every single pixel of the taken photos. Usually his boss does that by himself, with a cup of coffee and forgotten bowl of ramen, in silence. 

“Boss, are you sure I can go?”
“Yes Sakuya, please go.”
“But I still have to clean the set?” Sakuya groans, his expression clearly letting him now that Jaehee is the one disrupting his working schedule. Riku can only sympathize with that.

“I’ll help him!” Jaehee shouted, gesturing that it is time for him to leave, “you look 14, you probably have school tomorrow, good night!”

As time kept passing Riku’s body slowly accustomed to being so close to Jaehee’s, him happily discussing every photo, elaborating on his choices and absorbing the praises Jaehee was showering him with. Jaehee worked with some of the biggest photographers in the world, so every compliment slipping from his lips made Riku’s heart grow bigger, and also pound faster. The latter may have little to do with the compliments itself, and more to do with the scent of Jaehee’s perfume that kept hypnotizing him like a swinging pocket watch . 

Maybe the photos did not turn out half bad, after all, and maybe Sion is not going to be outraged when the end-product is presented, despite Riku being sure that Ryo was slowly but safely preparing him for the worst. After all, he was way more ready to face dissatisfied Sion, even if that meant losing this one gig that secured him stable income, than he was ready to allow the sight of Jaehee pulling Yushi close make his blood pressure rise. But, oh well, that was something he was yet to unpack. 

“Did Sion really send you here out of nowhere?”
“Mhm,” Jaehee nodded, his gaze glued to Riku despite his hands being busy with sweeping the floor, “he gave me a call two hours before all this, I was in the middle of a meeting with Dazed Korea, but I answered as soon as I saw Sion hyung’s name on my locked screen. I assume the editor will not be as happy to see me again.”
“Why did you do him such a favor, I bet you’re busy enough?” 

Riku tried his best to avoid the younger’s eyes, but somehow they kept traveling back without his consent.

“He did me a favor, actually. I begged him to give me a call if he still needs someone for this collection. He already booked Yushi and Wonbin, but I turned out to be lucky today.”
“I mean, sure, it’s a nice collection, but–” it was still unclear to Riku why a model who was just appointed to be the face of Versace’s newest perfume line was so eager to work for a still developing local brand.

“To be honest, I wanted to work with you, specifically.”

Riku gasped, the broom slipping from his sweaty grip, his cheeks slowly matching the red cardigan tied around his waist.

“I kept checking your website, actually,” Jaehee continued, sucking his cheeks in just to prevent a giggle at the image of the flustered photographer “and I always wanted to apply for your projects, yet I always miss the deadline. I keep thinking that I have to wait to see if it’ll be possible to free my schedule, and before I know it the applications are already closed. Luckily, I met Sion hyung last week, and I asked him to get me in this one.”

“My website? You keep checking my website?” 

Riku’s words tangled, he reaches for the already empty bottle of water, praying for its final drops to get his brain back to functional mode.

 “Yes, since the night we met, actually.”

Since the night they met.

That means for over a month. 

Riku had no idea what to do with that information, but it made his head dizzy as much as it made his heart skip.

“And yet I haven’t seen a single application from you, skill issue.”  He somehow still managed to talk back, but aware the ability will wash out soon.

“I have a theory that my agent keeps sabotaging me, offering me all these Versace, Nature Republic, Hyundai deals, thinking it’d make me stop asking her about your projects. I’m seriously thinking of firing her.”
“That’s very mean, why would anyone want to work with Versace if they can end up in my cramped studio with shitty ventilation working for 50 bucks an hour.”
“Right? Sweating with you has been everything I’ve had on my mind for weeks now.”

Back then, during the first gig, Riku wasn’t the one to worry about Jaehee’s high rate. He was Sion’s hire, after all.

But today? Today it’s his own project, Jaehee is his own worry. This time he did not miss the application deadline. Actually, he didn’t miss the deadline for any of his eight projects that are currently on his website. Among all the emails that were forwarded to trash, he decided to give a call back for one. Well, mostly because Jaehee’s emails kept spamming his inbox, appearing one after another, multiple times a day for the same gig too.

Riku had a choice between blocking him and giving him a chance. Well, he settled for the latter, hoping it would finally satisfy Jaehee’s insatiable curiosity, without making an enemy.

It’ll be impossible to forget how shaky his hands were when he was dialing the phone number from the application, unsure whether he’d speak to him directly or to his already annoyed agent.

“Hello, it’s Maeda Riku, I’m calling regarding Jaehee’s application for my project for the upcoming week,” he gulped, knowing just how insane it sounded that such a high-profile model was even put in the same sentence with his silly, artsy, indy project with no budget at all, “Who am I talking to?”

“Hi,” it was clear immediately, “it’s me, Daeyoung. I’m so happy to hear from you.”

The government name, even. Not even Jaehee, but Daeyoung. Riku was both relieved and tense that this call went straight to Jaehee and not to the agent he’d have to probably start explaining himself to. Although he found it weird that such an elite model puts his personal phone number in an application, that was just one weird detail about Jaehee in a whole forest of eccentricity that it didn’t even cross his mind at that time.

“I was wondering, was this application actually serious?” Riku cringed at his own words, thinking that if anyone else was listening to this conversation they’d have a great laugh at just how naive the little artist is.

“Finally, I didn’t miss the deadline!” 

However, Jaehee cheered on the other side of the line, a grin on his face detectable even if translated only sonically: “Did I get it? Please say I did!”

“Well,” Riku cleared his throat, trying to sound as professional as possible, “before that little bit, you have to know that the offer I wrote on the website was not a joke, I really can’t afford to pay you more than what is stated. This is a personal project, more like a hobby, it’s not funded by a brand or a sponsor, maybe one day if it’s actually picked up for an exhibition but I can’t prom–”
“Never mind,” his justification speech got interrupted, “we can negotiate.”
“I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear, I really don’t have any budget. I understand if you don’t want to do it, it made no sense to start with, I just… I just thought I should try and reach you and tell you that so you stop wasting your time on applying.”

The tone of voice was more suitable for a heartfelt apology than a conversation with someone shamelessly spamming his email inbox, almost begging to be selected.

“When I said negotiate, it wasn’t about money. So, when do I start?”

“Well, if you actually read the ad you’d see it says next Thursday afternoon. But if you’re busy we can work something out.”

“Of course I read it, I just wasn’t sure which one of all the applications I sent you called me for. Good, I’ll be there. I can’t wait.”
“You can’t wait?” 

The anxiety on Riku’s face slowly got replaced by a creeping smile, but he was still careful. He could've been stood up. His whole project could've gone to shit because of him stubbornly trying to swallow more than he can bite. But damn it, who on earth could miss an opportunity to work with Jaehee. Who on Earth could turn Jaehee down.

“I can’t wait to see you be all focused and passionate about doing what you love.”

Focused? That’s rich.

If the first pictorial was difficult, then Riku has no clue how to define this one. 

Sure, today there is no other model to be unbearably close to Jaehee, which does make one aspect of it easier, but instead Jaehee is unbearably close to him, towering over to check each shot on the LCD screen of his camera. Their bodies brushing against each other with every opportunity, Jaehee’s scent taking over his every thought. The project was conceptualized around expressing his inner peace. Ironic, actually, as he’s anything but peaceful.

“We should do this one again, that pose on the sofa, I’m just not sure what to do with my arms exactly.”
“Your arms are fine.”

That was both his honest opinion but also a plead to stop the torture. 

The torture of taking pictures of such a gorgeous model, the one that’s been dancing all over his mind since they met in Milan nearly two months ago, but even more the torture of Jaehee constantly needing him so physically close.

Ever since Sakuya was released from the set an hour ago Jaehee started demanding even more reshoots, even more directions, even more contact. From laying his hands on top of Riku’s while Riku is listing through the photos on his camera to asking Riku to move his arms to the position he wants them to be, to correct his posture by sliding his palm down his back, to come suggestively close to his face, approving of the message his eyes are trying to convey.

“I thought you were one of the highest paid models in the world, does the photographer really have to do your job for you?” Riku finally dares to whine after having chills sent down his spine for who-knows-which time tonight.

“Usually no one really complains about having to touch me, I didn’t think you’d mind.”

“So all the good stuff I heard about your professionalism was disinformation, huh?”

“No, it was all true. I usually pose by myself, but I just hoped you wouldn’t be the one minding touching me.”

But he minds. Not for the reason that he can feel each toned muscle on Jaehee’s expensive body, but for everything it does to him. He minds the shortness of his breath, the dryness of his mouth, the way his words tangle when he’s supposed to be the dominant one on his own set. He hates the way he’s smitten by Jaehee. 

“Think of me as a blank canvas, I want you to draw your vision with me. I’m here for your use, for you to express the deepest corners of your beautiful mind. Paint me. Have me.”

Most of all, he hates the fact he can’t.

But what he can have is the chills sent down his spine when Jaehee slides his palm down his back, leaning into him, taking a glance at the photos taken of the posture he directed. His face burning, despite the degrees being below room temperature.

"I really enjoy observing you all focused on doing what you love."

"Yet I'm not focused at all whenever you're here."

Riku whimpers involuntarily, taken aback by his own confession.

"You wanna say you're more focused on me than on the film?"

Jaehee wasn't wrong, he caught Riku red-handed, the joy of observing the flustered expression visible in his smirk.

“I never defined what it is that you love doing, actually.”

It was nearly two months ago when they met at an after party of Versace’s Fashion Week Milan show. Sion used one of his passes as a way to thank Riku for all the generous work he’s put into his newest collections.

Riku is a sensitive, introverted artist, his biggest joy is taking pictures of nature, but he knows that art doesn’t always bring rice to the table. Working in the fashion industry is the best way to make money, and getting such a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make industry connections is not something even his introverted self was able to pass on.

“KIM DAEYOUNG!!!” Sion shouted as soon as the star appeared on the horizon, his beauty apparent even in the hazy ambiance, swiftly dragging him to the table he was sharing with Riku, “Daeyoungie’s walk was the highlight of the show tonight, Korea’s biggest pride! Wasn’t he amazing?”

Riku was put on the spot – even if he was to disagree he was already set up to nod along, congratulating the ethereal celebrity before his eyes. But he actually really meant it, too. 

Although Sion spent their whole flight from Seoul hyping the young model up, setting up everyone’s expectations so high that Riku was genuinely feeling sorry for Jaehee, seeing him walk on the runway knocked the breath out of his lungs. 

He swears he never fell in love at the first sight, but he knew the feeling must have been similar to that one. If not exactly that one.

“This is Riku, by the way,” despite being swayed by performing a whole setlist of generous compliments, Sion finally introduced him to the stylish figure, “a talented photographer I worked with for my previous collection, and he’ll again do me a big favor for my newest one.”

Riku waved at Jaehee awkwardly, already finding it extremely difficult to maintain any type of eye contact with the handsome model.

“Riku,” Sion continued, not noticing at all how flushed his expression was, “you probably heard of him before, he’s everything and anything the fashion industry has been buzzing about, one and only – Kim Daeyoung.”

“Isn’t it Jaehee, did I mix you up with someone?”

“Daeyoung is my real name,” he finally managed to speak for himself, but only because he interrupted Sion who was ready to speak in his name again, “Jaehee is just my stage name, actually.”

“As soon as you get to know him, and you will,” Sion continued, “you’ll realize that the hot, cool Jaehee is actually just a little cutie Daeyoungie from Daegu, right? Don’t let his strong body fool you.”

Jaehee nodded, his eyes glued to Riku who was taking yet another shot from the wine glass before him. Riku swallowed as their eyes locked, almost choking on the luxurious red wine.

“Riku? Isn’t that a Japanese name?”
“Riku is from Japan, but he lives and works in Seoul.”

Unlike Jaehee, Riku did not bother taking over Sion’s invisible mic.

They say time flies when you’re having fun, but that night Riku learnt about the possibility for time to both fly but also freeze simultaneously. It didn’t take him too long to start acting presentably around the younger, or at least that’s how he perceived it – them talking over the loud music, the flow of their conversation not even ruined by all the masses of people approaching Jaehee, wanting to get a piece of the superstar at his table. But he didn’t mind that, at all, actually – seeing how sweet and friendly Jaehee was with everyone, no matter how famous or unfamiliar the person approaching him was, made his heart flutter even more. Yet it still could not compare to the rush caused by all the little details Jaehee noticed about him, all the genuinely curious questions he had about his work, all the funny anecdotes he shared about his life – everything around him was frozen, only Jaehee was in motion.

But when Jaehee drew his face closer to Riku’s, their noses almost touching, Riku felt his own heart drop to his heels.

“Excuse me, what perfume are you wearing?”

He sighed in relief that it was still his perfume, and not the odor of his sweat taking over.

“Chanel, Chance eau Tendre.”

Somehow his brain managed to remember the name, pulling it out of its most emergency parts.

“Interesting,” Jaehee slided his nose closer to Riku’s neck, inhaling the fragrance off his burning body, “I knew it was familiar, but it still didn’t smell nearly as good as it does on you.”

Riku had no clue who did Jaehee smell this scent on before, and in what way, and for what reasons, but he was sure he didn’t want to know. He only knew that was the perfect moment to leave, or else he could do and say something he’d never be able to take back.

“Already?” Jaehee checked the time on his phone, frowning at the realization that it was way later than he expected. 

A whole four hours later than it was supposed to be.

“Yeah, I’m already flying back tomorrow morning, I have meetings for an exhibition that I’m holding in a couple of weeks.”
“Really, in Seoul?”
“Yes, my first one in Seoul, it’s the boring part now. All the documentation, the logistics, the money talks, all that stuff that has nothing to do with art.”
“In which hotel are you staying?” Jaehee shot out, surprising both of them with the straightforwardness of the question.
“I don’t even know how to read it, but this one?” Riku took the keycard from his pocket, his two glistening eyes looking up at Jaehee, wondering what he was up to. 

It’s not like him to want a stranger in his hotel room, but his mind started entertaining the indecent idea.

“Oh, I’m not staying at that one,” Jaehee’s voice obviously disappointed, “but I can walk you there, mine is just around the corner. Just give me a moment to get my coat, is yours in the locker room too?”

“Mine is here.” He already started putting his black coat on, hoping it would conceal the uncontrollable pounding of his heart.

“Alright, just wait here, I’ll be back and we’ll go together.”

He waited, and he waited. 

Fifteen minutes later, he decided to leave. He was played, and he felt like he deserved it. The way he expected the main star of the show to leave the party and walk him to his three-star hotel makes him chuckle bitterly. If he didn't chuckle, he'd end up crying, and that'd be beyond embarrassing to do among all the socialites.

He was at the exit door, giving one final glance to the party inside, his pounding heart suddenly turning silent.

“RIKU HYUNG, WAIT!!!” 

His ears buzzed, he must have misheard that, right? Except the sound he thought he imagined was accompanied by the sight of the tall figure fighting through the masses of people to reach the outside world.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,” Jaehee bent over his knees, trying to catch his breath. “I was stopped by the main editor of Vogue, I tried to tell him to speak to my agent but he kept talking. I'm sorry, I felt helpless. But I'm here, we can go now.”

The silent heart started beating again, his lips curving into a satisfied smile.

“Really, Jaehee, I can go by myself. It's not far, you can stay, I believe there are still a lot of people you didn't manage to catch up with.”

But Jaehee rejected the idea, offering his elbow to Riku to rely on.

Despite showing the keycard of his hotel to Jaehee, it remained unused.

Instead, Riku ended up in a lobby way grander, hotel room way bigger, his back arching on bedsheets way softer.

The touch of Jaehee's luxurious skin was replaced by the smacking of their lips, the flavor of expensive wine still savorable off their tongues.

Their pulses quicked, beginning to turn the coordinated dance of their bodies into something less controlled, something rawer. But Riku decided that, as much as he would die for it to happen, he had to stop before it went a step too far.

“I'm sorry, Jaehee, I have to go.” He softly pushed the model off him, using hardly any strength to do that.

“Did I do something wrong?” 

The panic in his voice immediately curbed by Riku hushing the incorrect conclusion.

“No, not at all. I have a flight early in the morning, I have to pack too. I'm sorry.”

“We can rebook your flight.”

We. Riku smirks, aware that there were no them.

“I can't afford that.”

“I’ve collected enough air miles, I can do it for you.”

As entertaining as observing the usually calm Jaehee nervously scrolling through his phone was, Riku stopped him immediately, convincing him to put the phone down and let him go.

“Will I see you again?”

The attractive, but, after all of it, messy model kept sitting on his bed, helplessly observing Riku taking steps towards the exit door of his room.

“Maybe you should go back to that party, maybe you can find someone fun there, I feel bad for taking you away from them.”

But all Riku took with himself that night was Jaehee's heart, yet he had no idea.

“Jaehee-ssi, here, I still feel ashamed that I can only offer you this much, but this is your earning for today. I’m sorry it dragged out.” 

Riku sits next to Jaehee, his head bent, trying to avoid Jaehee's gaze, but this time not due to his shy personality.

“As I said, we can still negotiate.” Daeyoung responds cheerfully, a complete contrast to Riku’s lifeless tone.
“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear before, but I really don’t have any budget. Maybe I can offer you more when I get paid for the exhibition next week, but even that I can’t promise.”
“No,” Jaehee interrupts, trying to meet Riku’s eyes, but they’re stubborn, “I said I didn’t mean money. Maybe an alternative would do it, for example, how about I treat you to dinner? That would make up for the rate difference.”
“You treat me?” Riku finally looks up, confusion visible on his pretty face, “How does that make any sense? Don’t you mean I should treat you?”
“No, I meant what I said. Spending time with you would be my salary, actually.”

If he was alone right now, he’d burst into tears, not sure if the annoyed ones or due to the pain of a cupid arrow stubbornly trying to pierce his heart. But he can’t afford that, just like he knows that he can’t afford working with Jaehee ever again. Sure, Jaehee took up this project as he was curious, but that was it. Next time he’ll most likely not cancel his flight to Paris for a trivial shoot like this. At least that's what Riku was certain of.

But Riku’s blue eventually gets washed away again, and he feels as joyful as he felt while talking to Jaehee at the after party in Milan. In the middle of another cleaning session, once again Jaehee insisting to help, he got dragged onto the floor, playfully, his body pinned down by the strong youngster.

“Here, you said you loved this candy, didn’t you?” Jaehee swings a bag before his eyes, it dangling in the air between them.

“How did you know I like candy?”

“Candy? This is not just some candy, this is the candy. I got this in Milan last weekend just for you.” 

Jaehee finally rolls off Riku, choosing a position that would allow him to observe the boy next to him.

“I remember when we met, I asked you what you liked about Italy the most, and you specifically said you liked this candy. So I got it for you. One strawberry flavor, one coca-cola flavor, which one do you want to have first?”
“Coke!” Riku cheers, trying to snatch the bag out of Jaehee’s strong grip, but he fails.

Just like he fails to get his own heart back.

“Hold up, I’ll open it, your pretty fingers worked hard enough today, you should save the energy in them for something else. Your camera, I mean.” 

His cheeks blush at the suggestive tone of Jaehee’s voice and he tries to mask it by rushing a handful of candies into his mouth, all at once. A loud laughter breaks through the dark studio, Riku almost suffocating, but managing to chew through it, not wanting to disgust Jaehee by spitting it all out. Jaehee nonchalantly calling him a good boy as he felt each and every candy traveling down his throat could have been an attempted murder, Riku would argue.

“About that dinner, by the way, I meant it. Do you have time this Saturday?” Jaehee continues as soon as they’re calmed down, his eyes still glued to Riku, mesmerized by the view.
“I appreciate it, but I’m very busy with the exhibition. It’s in less than a week and I’m behind schedule. I’m sorry.”

While it was the truth, a part of him was relieved that he had an excuse that sounded so legitimate.

“I love how dedicated you are. That’s very attractive.”

“I’m always like that, a very hard-worker, very passionate, I know what I want.” 

With each word, his tone starts shaping into something more confident. Although unsure where he’s getting the strength for it from, he needs it to continue. He needs it to let him survive the night.

“And what do you want?” Jaehee smiles softly, his head resting in his hand.
“I want the last candy, actually.” 

Riku swiftly takes the last one from the bag lying between them, biting just the tip of it, not swallowing it whole. Jaehee visibly gulps, his penetrating gaze fixed onto the candy inviting him to Riku's lips.

Testing Riku, starts leaning in, his heart quickening. Once he concluded that Riku had no intention of dodging him, he bit the half that was sticking out. Jaehee trembles, it took him a lot of self control to hit the brakes before tasting Riku’s lips together with the candy. The lips look way sweeter, way juicer, and he can only guess that the way Riku licks them now is just due to the remaining sugar, and not a mockery for what he has just missed to taste.

“That exhibition of yours, by the way,” Jaehee clears his voice, trying to focus on carrying on the entertaining banter they’ve had, “can I come?”
“The tickets are sold out.” 

The response is indifferent, but a subtle teasing smirk forming under the sudden cool mask on the artist’s face can be detected.

“An exhibition in the middle of a working week sold out a week before the show? Is it really that your photography is that good, or are people just paying to look at your beautiful face?”

“Good question,” he still appears strong, grounded, unfazed, “but you seem to be the latter.”
“Am I that obvious?” Jaehee’s voice starts lowering in volume, his words coming out as gasps.

“You sure you can’t sneak me in without a ticket?”
“Why would I?”

Riku shivers at the feeling of Jaehee’s fingers brushing his hair. The atmosphere has turned into something intimate, the tension tangible.

“That would cover the rate difference, then. I wouldn’t charge you more.”
“You accepted this gig being aware of the pay, though. I gave you the cash.”

The room starts spinning. Riku feels drunk even if he hasn’t touched a single alcoholic drink since Milan. He also hasn't touched anyone else's lips since, not even a hand.

“What if I don’t want any cash?”

“What do you want, then?” 

His whole body squirms, he’s sure Jaehee felt it under his touch.

“I was supposed to be somewhere over Turkey right now, flying to Paris for a photoshoot with Vogue. But I realized where my priorities lie. This is what I want, just to spend time with you.”

“What do you want from me?”

These words weren’t supposed to be spoken out loud, but it’s too late to take them back now.

“I don’t want anything from you. Just you being with you is enough.”

Fuck it, it might be working. He hates the fact he feels like an infatuated middle schooler who is finally being acknowledged by his crush, and he hates the urge to finally give in to that kiss that’s been written all over Jaehee’s face since the moment he appeared before him. 

He hates it all. He hates the feeling of Jaehee’s palm on his flushed cheek, and his coke-flavored breath coming closer to his face, little by little. But he doesn’t stop it, and he hates the fact that he wants Jaehee to hurry up, to stop taking his time, to stop testing him.

He hates the fact that Jaehee’s lips are so close to his, and that he can already feel the sensation that’s going to take over their bodies. He is yet to forget the lingering feeling that Jaehee tattooed on his skin back in Milan, and he still can't rationalize to himself just why he keeps fighting the urge to give himself in again.

This time he has no flights to catch, no bags to pack, no stunning models to compete for Jaehee's attention with. He's ready to continue working on what he's left unfinished.

His body still, allowing Jaehee to pace their intimate encounter, his skin burning with desire.

“Oh, I’m SO SORRY!” A third voice echoes, breaking their almost-kiss apart.

The studio door closed as fast as they opened, but Riku recognized Sakuya’s boyish voice.

“I forgot my phone. I just wanted to take my phone. I’m sorry.”

Jaehee rolls back, laughing at the cliché of the situation. Lying on the floor opposite of him, Riku can’t afford such a reaction. He immediately jumps up, his head feeling lighter than his feet, looking for Sakuya who’s hiding in embarrassment behind the door. 

As soon as Sakuya is safely sent home with his phone, making sure that nothing else is left behind, Riku comes back to a gift bag waiting next to his MacBook. His wondering gaze moves up to Jaehee who nods, reassuring him that the bag is indeed for him.

“Who is it from?”
“Me. Who else?”
“Why?” He’s visibly confused, tiptoeing around it as if it were something forbidden.

“Just a little thank you for hiring me.”

Noticing that Riku doesn't want to touch it, he nudges the bag closer to the flustered photographer.

“I’m pretty sure that’d be considered a bribe, that’s illegal.”
“This is Korea, bribe is normal.” 

Jaehee grins, but Riku does not mirror his sense of humor.

“Ok, in that case, think of it as a little present for being so pretty. It just happens that it’ll come handy when we work together again.”

Again ? The words make Riku visibly more nervous to see what’s hiding in the bag.

“Go on, open it.”

The hesitation is put to an end only when Jaehee once again appears behind Riku, his torso leaning over the older's petite back, his hands undoing the gift bag for him. Riku is standing helpless, trapped by Jaehee’s arms. Not the first time, but this time he has nowhere to escape to.

Once the bag is open, Riku gasps at the unreal view. It’s the limited edition Nikon camera, the one he wasn’t able to find anywhere in Korea or Japan, and he’s been trying for months.

“I can’t accept this, it’s too much.” He shoves the camera back into the bag as if he’s not worthy of even taking a look at it.

“It’s impolite to reject gifts. Please, I really want you to have it.”

Each breathy word coming from Jaehee leaves a trace on Riku's sensitive skin. Riku wishes he had no shame, he wishes he was able to turn around and lock their lips together. Not just because of the present, to be fair.

“Where did you even get this one?”
“Magicians never reveal their tricks, don’t they? Just have it. It’s not brand new, it’s second hand, but it’s as good as new. Please take care of it, despite it being used before. From now on it'll belong only to your hands.”

His voice is being taken over by a tone more suggestive.

“No, seriously. I have to pay it back to you somehow.”
“There is only one thing, actually,” Jaehee uses the strength of his body to turn Riku's around, finally facing him again, the beauty of his face making his heart skip again “for the start, you’ll only be allowed to use that camera on me or on yourself. This is just for us. And with time, when earned, after you prove yourself as a good boy that you are, it will be yours completely. Is that ok?”

Riku nods. He thought that camera would be the sexiest thing he'd ever seen, but Jaehee has just topped that. 

“I can't wait to see the magic you'll create with this beauty.”

Riku’s big day has arrived, yet all his brain can think about is Jaehee.

He remembers being hunched over a portfolio, Jaehee's shadow obstructing his view, waiting for him to finally look up and accept a cup of coffee prepared especially for him. He thinks of Jaehee asking if he's allowed to stay around, wanting to observe the process of developing a film – the unknown proximity between their bodies in the dark chamber setting off fireworks within him. Riku recalls last night, the way he was unable to fall asleep, his sister comforting him that it's normal to feel the nerves the night before his first exhibition in Seoul, but he knew it wasn't the cause.

It doesn’t last too long into the show before he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket. 

It’s a message. From Jaehee, of course.

Jaehee: Hey beautiful ❤️❤️ I hope the exhibition is going well. Actually, I swear I can hear people cheering and  gasping at the beauty, even if I am on the other side of the city. However, without being there, I’m unsure whether they’re enchanted by the beauty of the squirrels in the pictures, or the one that’s before their eyes in real time. I know the photos are stunning, but I’d still bet it’s the latter 😇💦

Riku excuses himself from the crowd, finding a private corner to type a reply. Giggling like a little girl is not a look he was set on showing in the middle of his exhibition, surrounded by hundreds of fellow artists.

Riku: So you’re really dying to be here? It wasn’t just an act?😏 If so, you can stop by, I'll allow it, but only when everyone is gone. Firstly, I don’t want your handsomeness to distract from my art, and second, I bet you’d want me just for yourself. I mean, you want me to give you a backstory for each piece, without being interrupted by others. If yes, be here at 11PM. I’ll share the location with you🙂

As soon as the clock strikes 11PM, Jaehee walks through the door. The venue is empty, everyone is already gone, as announced. It's just the beautiful artist he drove through the night to see, standing in the middle, surrounded by his own art, yet still outshining it all.

“Sir, you’re late. The show is over.”
“And what if I bear gifts?” Jaehee responds to Riku’s teasing by handing him a bouquet of flowers.

“And what did I do to deserve this?”
“It’s just my way to congratulate you on this beautiful exhibition. And another thank you for blessing my eyes.”

Despite his whole life being about wearing and seeing others wear priceless designer’s pieces, decorated by diamonds and gold, himself representing a walking luxury good, it was Riku's self-made denim jumpsuit, colorful cat details generously sprinkled all over, and a a pair of specs resting on his elegant nose that takes his breath away.

That's when Jaehee realized – Riku is the purest luxury good of all. Riku is all he needs.

As promised, Riku gives him a private tour through the hall, guiding him through every detail of each photograph.

“I never thought I’d be able to launch this in Korea, like who would even care about squirrels climbing trees in the countryside of Japan?”
“It’s niche, but it’s beautiful. Just like the artist himself.” 

Jaehee's hand slides into Riku's, relieved at absence of resistance.

“How did you even come to the idea to dedicate one whole series of photos just to squirrels who live in trees? And all that just in your hometown?”

“Well,” Riku's fist relaxes completely in Jaehee's, leading him to the next photograph: “I always loved spending time in nature. Fresh air, the soothing green color of the trees surrounding you, everything is so calm, you’re alone, and then suddenly there comes a squirrel bringing a piece of action back into it. They’re fast, they’re swift, they’re always focused on their objective and as soon as they grab it they’re back onto the tree. It would always give me a rush. Squirrels are symbols of resourcefulness, adaptability, playfulness, and organization, that’s all I aspire to be. They remind me of home.”

Jaehee is listening to every word, completely bewitched. Riku is still holding his hand, the grip growing firmer, leading him to the next image.

“Actually, you know what they actually remind me of? On one hand, I love my home. I love Fukui. I am homesick all the time. I want nothing more than just to be there. Do nothing, just be. But on the other hand, I am driven, I am ambitious. I need to succeed and feel successful. I have this uncontrollable drive to always keep improving. I must feel a sense of achievement. And I can’t do that in such a small place, so I had to leave. It didn’t have to be Seoul, it’d feel the same anywhere. If I am home, I feel like I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing, I feel like a failure, like I’m wasting time. On the other hand, if I am achieving something, like now, I feel empty because I’m not home. I’ll never feel fulfilled completely, I’ll always lack either one or the other. They remind me of the sacrifices I’m making, and seeing them reminds me that just like them, I must be focused on the objective, and as soon as I grab it, I can go back to my tree, and feel safe there. Maybe it doesn’t make any sense.”
“No, it does!” Jaehee’s voice is convincing, his eyes glistening with tears, “that was beautiful. Very vulnerable. Thank you. Thank you for your art. Thank you for being you.”

Their hands are still tied together, Jaehee gently pushing his fingers between Riku's. Their movements coordinated, paying equal attention to each photograph hanging on the walls. 

Well, Riku is, at least, while Jaehee’s eyes keep roaming between the stunning pictures and the beautiful artist to his right side.

“Jaehee-ssi…”
“You can call me Daeyoung, it makes more sense now. I’m not here as Jaehee, I’m here as Daeyoung.”
“Daeyoung-ssi,” Riku smiles, the name slipping off his lips naturally, “thank you for taking your time. You must have been busy, such a little exhibition is probably not your priority.”
“But it is my priority. I cleared my whole schedule for today and tomorrow morning, hoping you’d invite me. I even tried to find resale tickets, but no wonder that no one offered one. Who would’ve wanted to miss this.”

Riku lost count of how many times Jaehee made his heart skip a bit, but at least his ears are not buzzing anymore, and at least his knees are standing strong. Jaehee’s grip around his hand firms up even more, giving undeniable signals that he doesn't want to let go of him, even though they’ve just finished with the final exhibited piece in the venue.

“Will you showcase these photos anywhere else?”
“Well, some of the visitors are big names in the industry, I can only hope that I’d soon get some emails with offers. I’d like to do this again somewhere, elsewhere in Seoul or in another city, who knows.”
“How about Daegu?” 

“Daegu?” Riku chuckles, volunteering to hear more about it.

“A friend of mine manages exhibition halls in Daegu, I could hit him up with the idea. If you allow me, of course.”
“I don’t want to bother yo–”
“Hey, how are you bothering me if it was my idea to start with? I just really want people to see your art. I want people to see you. There is so much beauty in you, there are so many emotions, so many stories. I promise you that people will love you there. Can I please give it a try?”
“Will people even show up?”
“I’ll post about it on my social media. The whole of Daegu follows me. I promise you that there will be blood on the streets, people will fight for the tickets.”

If Riku’s hands were free, he’d cover his face with it. But one of the hands is in Jaehee’s, while the other is holding the flowers.

“Thank you, Daeyoung. I don’t know how I can repay you for that.”

“Now that the exhibition is over, you have no more excuses to turn me down for the dinner date. That’s how you’ll repay me. This time I don't want to let you slip through my fingers without a fight the way I did in Milan.”

Milan. There are still so many open questions regarding that night, Riku anxious to ask any. He's yet to weigh who's the one to blame for the way it ended, the way their chemistry was never utilized the way it should've been.

“I kept thinking about you ever since. No matter what I was doing, who I was with, where, all my mind was able to think about was you.”

“Why did you not reach out to me, then?”

“I met you in the middle of the busiest days of my life. I waited until I was able to free my schedule to dedicate the time you are worthy of.”

Riku had other ideas, though. He kept thinking about the dating rumors he read in Dispatch involving Jaehee and a rookie actress, his mind harassed by images of all attractive individuals throwing themselves over the celebrity. He was convinced he stood no chance, confident that he was not much more than an experiment.

Riku collapses onto the floor as soon as he opens the door of his apartment, right across his studio. Not because of the relief that the exhibition was a success, not because of how exhausted all the months of preparation were, but because he’s left the hall most vulnerable he's ever been. 

He’s still not sure if he wants to let himself do all that. He’s not sure if he wants to waste a fragment of his life on someone like Jaehee – someone who could leave him in a heartbeat because of something bigger than him, something more important. He has no proof that Jaehee would do that, but he’d have to spend his life competing with Jaehee’s career – with Versace, with Vogue, with diamonds and gold.

He’s not like that. The only person he wants to compete with is himself. For himself, and no one else.

When he finally extends his arm to switch the lights on, the first thing that catches his eye is the Nikon camera, sitting on the dresser, untouched. It hasn’t been used yet.

He decides to put Jaehee to the final test. He decides to put his own heart to one.

“Hello, am I lucky enough to be talking to the most talented photographer in the world, Maeda Riku?”

And without fail, Jaehee called him exactly two minutes after he posted the newest application form on his website.

“Yes, this is him. May I know who I am talking to?”

“An aspiring model who is burning with desire to work with Riku senpai. I’m Kim Daeyoung, and I’m very interested in volunteering for your Falling in Love project.”

Riku covers his lips to curb the giggle, proceeding in his professional tone.

“Alright, Daeyoung-ssi. Just by the sound of your voice I can tell that you’re someone very handsome. Do you have a portfolio of your previous work? I've never heard of you.”

“Well, I’m currently at a set, almost finishing up. I can bring a few photos with me. I still have my makeup on too, hair being styled as well, I can send you a couple of selfies if that would qualify.”

“When could you do this project, then? You sound busy.”

Riku gasps, this time theatrically. 

“In an hour? All I need is to slip back into my civilian outfit, jump into the car and I’m right there. I’ll keep the makeup on so we don’t waste any time on that.”

“No,” Riku shrieks, a bit louder than he anticipated, “remove the makeup. I want it to be natural, raw. Just you, as you are, in a room, acting out a realization that you’re falling in love in front of my camera,”
“Acting out?”

Riku purposely ignores the little interjection.

“Not sure if you noticed since you called so soon, but this is an unpaid project.”
“Yes, I might be a model but I can read. I also saw that you’re offering dinner as a reward.”
“I had to offer something, but don’t get too excited, it’s just cup ramen and tteokbokki from a place down the street.”
“It’s not what you eat, but who you eat it with. So, I’ll be there in an hour, ok?”

“In an hour.” Riku repeats, this time allowing the grin on his face to illuminate the whole studio.

Once again, Jaehee didn't lie. He appeared at the door of his flat, perfectly timed.

“Have you used the camera already?”

Jaehee is searching for a comfortable spot on the bed. The set is in Riku's bedroom tonight, suitable for the concept of the inability to fall asleep in the midst of the realization of falling in love. Nothing creative, really, but the project wasn't set up with the goal of being creative to start with.

“I thought you said I wasn’t allowed to use it on anyone but you.”
“Or yourself,” Jaehee bites his lip, making sure Riku can see it, “I actually hoped you’d send me some photos you’d take of yourself with it. All kinds of, actually.”

The sweet boy from the exhibition the other night is gone, and the shameless model he worked with the previous weeks seems to be in command of the handsome body again. Sion was right, there is a clear difference between Jaehee and Daeyoung, and Riku can't decide which one he likes more.

“Let’s start, you know what you’re to do.”

He sure does, and he never found it to be easier than now. His eyes fixed on Riku, noticing every detail of his movement, the way his fingers are tangled around the frame, the way his knees bend to find the perfect angle, the way his teeth bite his lower lip. 

“You're doing well, it appears like you have a lot of experience in falling in love.”

Riku teases, fishing for more information from, although flirty, a secretive model.

“I wouldn't say a lot, but let's say it's a rather recent one for me.”

“I've seen… the dating rumors between you and that actress. Congratulations.”

“Fuck, I told my managment to deny that. They haven't done that yet?”

“But is it true?” Riku lowers the Nikon camera, leaving no barrier between him and his infatuation.

“No, it isn't. Those photos are from a set of our upcoming commercial ad for Hyundai. I have no idea why it turned into such a fabricated rumor. Riku hyung, you trust me, don't you?”

Riku nods, impressed by the determined tone of Jaehee’s voice. He brings the camera back to his face.

“Don't move, just stay as you are.”

The model listens, his tall body sitting up, his posture impeccable, both of his hands buried into the soft mattress underneath him, the toned muscles on his arm clearly visible. He's staring at Riku, observing his every movement again, every press against the shutter button, every soft stroke of the lense. Riku's black hair shining under the sunset ray's breaking through the window glass behind his back.

“That's exactly the look I wanted, give me more of that.”

Click.

Flash.

Jaehee has no choice but to give him more of it. He's not acting, he's not posing. He's just existing in the moment, savoring the view before him.

“Did you already check out all the functions of that baby?” Jaehee starts smalltalk while still in his element.

“Some, why?”
“It can also record videos.”
“Most cameras can do that.”
“I know, just letting you know. Maybe we can try that function sometime.” 

“So you think you're so irresistible that I'll keep using you for my precious project.”

Jaehee blushes, probably the first time that he felt like he was outflirted.

“Maybe it can be somewhere that’s not the set, something more private. But there is another cool function, wait.” 

Not the first time that his body is so close to Riku’s while working through a camera, but the first time that Riku doesn’t want to escape him, leaning back to feel him whole.

“We put on a timer, like this,” his whispers melting into Riku’s honey skin, “we place the camera on the tripod, like this, and we press this.”

Riku follows every instruction like a programmed robot, ready for whatever will come next.

As soon as his hands are off the camera, his body is picked up, his feet swiped off the floor, and he’s transported onto his bed.

Lost in Jaehee’s loving gaze, only the corner of his eyes detect the flashes going off, one after another, in steady rhythm.

“Now you’ll get the most genuine series of images about falling in love ever captured.”

Snap.

Flash.

Snap.

Flash.

He’s finally kissed. His needy lips lost against Jaehee's, his back softly arching at the stimulus, forgetting to breathe. Jaehee’s hand caresses his blushed cheek, making sure it doesn't block Riku's face from the camera, while the other one travels south, massaging his sensitive waist. 

The flashes stopped going off a while ago, but that didn’t interrupt their kiss. Their story is still not over.

“This is what I was working for this whole time.”

“I thought you got used to luxury goods.”

“You're the most luxurious one of them all.”

Riku's slender arms extend, locking behind Jaehee's neck, pulling him down on top of him. Jaehee recognizes the invitation, his palm exploring bare skin under Riku's plain tank top. The accidental moan he feels as an airflow against his teeth make Jaehee's toes curl, and it aĺlows him to move his lips off Riku's, tasting his neck too.

“Daeyoung,” Riku calls his name out in a shaky voice, his body doing rhythmic waves against Jaehee's, “I think we got a good shot, you can stop now.”

“We can turn the video function on, baby.”

Riku laughs, sliding his hands onto Jaehee's face, moving it to the meeting point of their eyes.

“For that, you'll finally have to take me out for the dinner you kept promising for weeks now.”