Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She liked Sai. Really, she did. He had been a little hard to get used to in the beginning, but she was fine with him now. Sakura would even go so far as to say that Sai was her friend. He was a smart fighter and a good person, even if he was a little...off. What kind of person didn't have emotions? But, honestly, that wasn't always a bad thing. It was nice to have an unemotional teammate as opposed to the emotionally driven Naruto. If she were really honest with herself, in a lot of ways, Sai was an even better teammate than Sasuke. And yet...

The same went for Yamato. Yamato was a good guy and a good captain. He was a great ninja and his wood making skills could really come in handy. He was predictable and reliable, unlike Kakashi. He never ignored his squad or picked favorites. Even if he did make that terrifying face sometimes, at least he didn't act on his threats. He wasn't a pervert, either. Even so...

Sai wasn't Sasuke. Yamato wasn't Kakashi. Nothing was, or ever would be, the same again. As unfair as she was being, Sakura couldn't help but compare them. It wasn't that Kakashi and Sasuke were better than Sai and Yamato. It was that Kakashi and Sasuke were like family to her. Sakura had grown from the useless weakling she once was into the strong confident girl she was today with her team. Well, Tsunade had trained her. But her friends had been there to watch her grow from day one.

This "Team Kakashi" was as much of a lie as the smile on Sai's face. Only half of Team 7 was still around. If she were really being honest, this was the weaker half. Kakashi was their strong and wise leader who always kept his cool. Sasuke was a strong fighter and a very strategic thinker. Kakashi and Sasuke had survived horrifying tragedy and were still less emotional than Naruto and herself.

Now it was only just the two of them left. While it was true that Kakashi wasn't gone and was only sick, it still felt odd to not include him in such an important mission. When they eventually found Sasuke, Kakshi should be there. Without him, it just wouldn't be right.

Deep down, she knew that Sasuke might not come back. It was a foolish hope. Their reunion wouldn't be joyous, it would be tragic. Still. She felt oddly excited. She couldn't wait to finally get this all over with. She wouldn't leave this story unfinished. Whatever happened, she would be ready.

Looking back at Sai once more, she sighed. Sai really was no Sasuke. Like Sai had said himself, he was no traitor. But he was no great friend, either. Sakura's heart didn't stop when she saw Sai. Sai wouldn't jump in front of her to take the killing blow. She didn't love Sai, not as a lover, and not as family.

"If you keep staring at me like that, I will be forced to pinch you, Sakura." Sai stated, smiling that fake smile. Sakura blushed and looked down.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Sakura apologized, not having realized she was staring, "Pinch me?"

"Yes. Isn't that what one is supposed to do when someone else is dreaming?" Sai asked, as though it was an obvious fact and Sakura was just being dumb. Sakura sighed deeply.

"Yeah, sure." Sakura muttered, not bothering to explain to him that it wasn't meant to be taken literally. When Sai turned back around, Naruto grinned at her.

"I wonder what you were daydreaming about, Sakura?" Naruto smirked, "Or who you were daydreaming about?" He waggled his eyebrows and looked pointedly at Sai. Sakura stuck her tongue out childishly, in response.

"Why? You weren't hoping it was you, were you?" Sakura replied smugly. Naruto remained silent, causing Sakura's smile to widen. Honestly, this team wasn't so bad. And she would never let Naruto know how right he was. No, she hadn't been thinking about Sai like that. But she had been thinking about her teammates. Both past and present.

"Hey, you three! Hurry up, we're almost there!" Yamato shouted. Sakura nodded to herself, increasing her speed. No matter what, she would keep moving forward. At the moment, this was her team ad she accepted that. Hopefully, the old team would return soon. But, for now, everything was okay. Not great. But not bad, either. This was team was good and that was okay for now.

Chapter Text

Things were complicated and Sai couldn't understand how this had happened. His mission had been simple. Join Team 7. Kill Sasuke. Come back and await the next mission. It was even more simple then that, because Sai had no emotional attachments that could blur any lines. So how could he have let this happen?

It was this team's fault. This emotional, crazy, mentally unstable...incredible group of ninjas. Well, perhaps Yamato was a bit of an outsider as well. But those other two...they were a problenm. They just never gave up. It wasn't even that they didn't know when to give up. It was that they didn't know how. They were operating on pure determination, stubbornness, loyalty, and hope. Things that Sai didn't, no couldn't, have. It made absolutely no sense.

It wasn't that Sai didn't know what emotions were or how they worked. It was more that he understood that having emotions was a liability. Sai was a weapon and weapons did not have feelings. To become driven by emotion would be to become weak. Emotions clouded the mind and caused people to make risky decisions that were harmful in the long run. It also gave enemies a weapon stronger than any other weapon in the world. Shurikens and other weapons could cut you, but those cuts could be healed. But to be able to cut someone emotionally? Those wounds were permanent. Sai only had to look at Team 7 to see that. Sasuke did not lack emotions and that was what made him so powerful. He knew just where to hit Naruto and Sakura so that it would hurt them the most. Emotions were only a weakness, which hurt more than it healed.

But what Sai had never thought of, never even considered, was that emotions could be a strength. It gave you a goal, something to motivate and inspire you. It gave you something to live for, something that made all of the pain and suffering worth it. Sai couldn't care less about his lack in social skills. But the emotions he'd seen in his companions gave them power, strength, and bonds. Bonds like the connection that Sakura and Naruto (and presumably Sasuke), still clearly shared.

The weirdest thing was that all this drama, heartache, and tragedy was impacting him. Oddly enough, he was envious of the bond that Sakura and Naruto shared. He was curious of what attributes Sasuke possessed that he lacked. Sasuke had been a traitor, a bad person, and an enemy to the leaf village. Sai was nothing but an emotionless weapon. Theoretically, Sakura and Naruto should detest Sasuke and feel nothing towards Sai. But, for some unexplainable reason, Sakura and Naruto adored Sasuke and disliked him.

Despite that, the two ninjas actually wanted to help him. Naruto merely put up with him and even that was only some of the time. Obviously, Sai's social skills were still lacking according to the amount of times both Sakura and Naruto lost their temper with him. Although it wasn't as if they were great with social skills either. But even so, Naruto still tried to help him, despite his misgivings. He'd eventually realized that Sai wasn't meaning any harm, but was only really weird. He still didn't accept Sai as part of the group, but he had stopped being so hostile towards him.

But Sakura had seemed to take it upon herself to try to fix him. Little remained of the young boy Sai had once been and what emotions had not managed to fade away. Sai did all that he could to terminate what was left of that boy. Not that much remained. But even the smallest trace of an identity or individual thought was simply unacceptable. Sai knew that if he could only get rid of the book he had written for his "brother", he would finally be able to leave his past behind him. But to do so would be wrong. It was the one thing that reminded Sai that he was as real person and not something disposable. If he were to cast that book away, it would be as though he were casting away the memory of his brother. That was not an option.

In all honesty, none of these thoughts had ever occurred to him before. Or, if they had, it had been a long time ago. Maybe he'd had a distant thought of it, but nothing more than that. But Sakura and Naruto were special in that way. They changed people in ways that even they could not comprehend.

As he turned to look at his comrades, he was surprised to notice that Sakura was staring at him. It wasn't a judging stare, more of a thoughtful dreamy expression. Sai had no idea how he was supposed to respond to that. She seemed to be daydreaming.

"If you keep staring at me like that, I will be forced to pinch you, Sakura-San," Sai stated, smiling. After all, when in doubt, smile. 

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Sakura apologized, blushing. Sai knew that blushing was a sign of embarrassment, but what was there to be embarrassed of? "Pinch me?" She added.

"Yes. Isn't that what one is supposed to do when someone else is dreaming?" Sai asked, wondering why Sakura looked so confused. The instructions were clear, after all. Perhaps she didn't know the saying?

"Yeah, sure." Sakura sighed, alerting Sai by her tone that she did not mean what she was saying. Sarcasm. That was the word for it.

"I wonder what you were daydreaming about, Sakura?" Naruto smirked, "I hope it's not a teammate." Sai turned to Naruto in confusion. What teammate could he be referring to? If it were Sasuke, then that would be highly uncharacteristic of him. Discussing Sasuke aloud was something of a taboo. Oftentimes whenever they needed to discuss him, the two ninjas would become silent and serious. To make a careless joke about him would be nonsensical. If he were referring to himself that would make more sense, but why would he refer to himself in third person? However, if he were referring to Sai...

"Why? You weren't hoping it was you, were you?" Naruto was quiet at that remark and Sai took the moment to observe how smooth the remarks between them seemed to flow. It was because of that bond. It connected them in a way. Their conversation didn't even require everything to be said aloud, they were so accustomed to reading the other person's body language and subtle cues. It was like he had once been with his "brother".

"Hey, you three! Hurry, up, we're almost there!" Yamato called from ahead. Sai obeyed the command and quickened his pace. Oddly enough, he felt excited. This journey was proving to be far more interesting than he'd ever expected. And, even if everything he'd learned and everything he'd worked to was slowly being questioned, it was completely worth it.

Chapter Text

Naruto couldn't stand Sai. Every movement he made seemed to be an intentional act to get on Naruto's nerves. And don't even get him started on when Sai actually spoke. At that point, he wasn't even being subtle anymore. With that irritating fake smile and the way he bad-mouthed Sasuke...it was a wonder that Naruto hadn't snapped yet. After all, who could blame if he had? The way Sai acted sanctimonious whilst being a rude creep was something would piss anyone off. Naruto deserved a medal for standing in the same space as him, let alone restraining himself from killing the guy.

And yet Sakura actually, she actually liked the guy! Well, perhaps like was a strong word. But she accepted him as part of their team and was kind to him. Which was good and nice and all, but Naruto just couldn't understand how she did it. After all, hadn't Sakura been the one in love with Sasuke? Wasn't she the one who had stayed loyal to Team 7 the most? How could she just give up on them like this?

Alright, so maybe Naruto was being a tiny bit unfair. His vision was a bit blurred when it came to anything involving his old team. So much so that a lot of his decisions were sequentially much more foolish because of them. Maybe Sai wasn't that bad. But he just wasn't Sasuke. To accept him would mean that he would have to accept that Sasuke wasn't coming back. And that was something he would never do. That would mean he would have to go back on his word. That would mean he would have to give up. No, Sai was only a temporary companion. Once Sasuke saw reason, Sai would be gone. And, to be honest, it couldn't happen soon enough.

As for Yamato, Naruto had no major qualms with him. He was nice enough for now. It wouldn't be too hard to let him go, but it wasn't really a problem working with him. He was no Kakashi, but he wasn't anything awful either. That face...dear god, that face...well, that was an abomination. But, even despite that, Yamato was a good guy. He wasn't planning on replacing anyone, unlike Sai. That made Yamato alright in Naruto's book.

It wasn't so much that Sai and Yamato were lesser individuals than Sasuke and Kakashi. But, to Naruto, who had never had any sort of family or friends growing up, these three meant everything to him. Sakura was the sister (or maybe more) that he'd never had. Sasuke was his brother. Kakashi was his...uncle, he supposed. If anyone was his "father", it would be Jiraiya. But, even despite that, the other three were practically family. To lose Sasuke was not only losing one member of his "family". It was also tearing apart the bonds between the three who were left behind. The bonds did not feel permanent. Now, it took conscious effort to maintain their friendship and everything felt fragile. Like one mistake and their bonds would break. If they could get Sasuke back, hopefully things could go back to the way they were.

Looking back at Sai, Naruto's blood boiled. How could that bastard look so innocent? He had no right to act innocent. He was the source of the problem! Did he seriously believe that he could replace Sasuke? That he could just show up and become a part of Team 7? That was not how that worked. He looked over to see that Sakura was staring at Sai as well, her expression pensive. Sai noticed her staring a moment later and turned to her with that nauseating smile.

"If you keep staring at me like that, I will be forced to pinch you, Sakura-Sam," Sai threatened, still smiling. Here Sai was, openly threatening a teammate, and no one said anything! Alright, maybe pinching wasn't really harming anyone, but still!

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sakura apologized, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment, "Pinch me?" She added in confusion.

"Yes. Isn't that what someone is supposed to do when someone else is dreaming?" Sai asked, tilting his head. As if he didn't understand what Sakura's problem was. Naruto shook his head. Did Sai really believe that phrase was supposed to be taken literally? Or was his sense of humor just that bad?

"Yeah, sure." Sakura muttered, still blushing. It was then that another thought struck Naruto. What was Sakura dreaming about? Or who? Probably Sasuke. But maybe it was him? Or even better, what if it was Sai? Now that would be funny!

"I wonder what you were dreaming about, Sakura?" Naruto asked, grinning teasingly, "I hope it's not a teammate," Naruto added, looking pointedly at Sai. Sakura sighed, probably annoyed at Naruto's immature teasing. Naruto just snickered.

"Why? You weren't hoping it was you, were you?" Sakura teased, to which Naruto had no response. In fact, he had hoped that initially, though he would never say that aloud. The way Sakura tossed the comment out as a simple tease made it all the more painful. Did Sakura even know how he felt? How deep his feelings truly ran? How even the smallest things she said meant everything to him?

"Hey, you three! Hurry up, we're almost there!" Yamato shouted. Naruto hurried his pace. After all, he couldn't let Sai get ahead of him! And the faster he walked, the faster he would find Sasuke, and Sai would be gone for good. For now, Naruto could handle Sai. Perhaps after some more time with the guy, Naruto might even learn to like the guy. But the sooner he was gone, the better. And if finding Sasuke meant having to put up with Sai's weirdness, so be it. Naruto would do anything if it meant having Sasuke back on their team. He'd just have to be patient and believe that soon enough Team 7 would be back in action and everything would be okay again. For now, things were fine. But, with a little work, everything would be good again. Naruto wouldn't give up. No matter how long it would take.

Chapter Text

Yamato still couldn't believe that he was on this mission. The kids behind him might still be under the illusion that this was a mission to recover their friend, but Yamato wasn't that naive. They were there to capture a wanted criminal and bring him to justice. The friend that Naruto and Sakura had once known was gone and he wasn't coming back willingly.

Still. Yamato couldn't help but feel bad for the poor kids he left behind. Because that's just what they were. Children. Nobody should have to deal with this, let alone two young teenagers. They were both sensitive enough as it was. It just wasn't fair.

It was still a shock to Yamato that he had been chosen to lead this group. Everyone knew about Team 7, how could they not? The leaf village's traitor and the last remaining Uchiha. A loud prankster who was hiding the nine-tailed fox within him. A talented medical ninja trained by Tsunade herself. People had taken to calling them the "Sannin: The Next Generation" when gossiping about them. And this was all led, of course, by the well respected and enigmatic Kakashi Hatake. There hadn't been such a team for as long as Yamato could remember.

If he had to be honest, he hadn't been surprised to learn of Sasuke's departure. Everyone had been aware that it might very well happen. But they had still held out hope that it wouldn't come to this. However, before now, it had all just been a story. A piece of gossip and speculation carelessly tossed across a ramen stand. But it was all different now. Seeing how broken these two kids were and how strong they had needed to become in the wake of Sasuke's devastation broke his heart. They deserved so much better. Nobody deserved this.

But what really melted his heart was the situation with Sai. Sai wasn't their teammate, and he wasn't their friend. Initially, they had treated him as such. But, recently, he'd noticed a shift. Sakura was softening her heart to him and Naruto was opening up the tiniest bit. They were letting Sai in, which was a step forward. Yamato didn't yet trust Sai by any means, but he felt a distant connection with him. They were the only two new people on the team. It warmed his heatr to see Sakura and Naruto giving both Sai, and himself as welll, a chance.

"If you keep staring at me like that, I will be forced to pinch you Sakura-Sam," Sai commented them. Yamato sighed deeply. Here we go again...

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Sakura apologized, "Pinch me?"

"Yes. Isn't that what someone is supposed to do when someone else is dreaming?" Sai asked. Only of they ask to be pinched first, Yamato thought unhelpfully. He shook his head, snapping back to sense.

"Yeah, sure." was Sakura's only response. At least she wasn't starting fights over Sai's cluelessness anymore. In the beginning, both Sakura and Naruto had been offended and infuriated by Sai's rude remarks. Now, it seemed, they had grown immune to it.

"I wonder who you were dreaming about, Sakura?" Naruto teased, almost verging on flirting. Yamato rolled his eyes, "I hope it's not a teammate."

"Why? You weren't hoping it was you, were you?" Yamato smirked at that. The girl had sass and was sharp. Which is what made it so surprising that she was so clueless about the depth of Naruto's still existing crush on her. Yamato took a quick glance behind him to see that the three ninja's were all lagging behind, lost in their thoughts.

"Hey, you three! Hurry up, we're almost there!" Yamato called, smiling softly to himself at the kid's antics. They were a dysfunctional group, but he still had to admire them. He heard the footsteps quickening so he knew they were listening. He couldn't help it. He was really growing to care about these weirdos. He dreaded the inevitable disappointment they would feel when they finally had to confront the fact that Sasuke was gone for good. The prospect of these kid's pain was beginning to hurt him. The only thing he could do was hope that when the confrontation came, they would be ready to handle it. 

Chapter Text

Kakashi hated this. He hated having to sit in a hospital bed, useless, while his team was out there risking their lives. Kakashi was many things. Lazy. Perverted. Slow. Irresponsible. But not useless. Never useless. It was killing him having to just sit here with nothing to do but worry about his team. It wasn't that he didn't trust Yamato. It was just that his mission was personal. Yamato was a skilled ninja and a good man. But he didn't know these kids like Kakashi did. He wasn't used to Naruto's brash and impulsive behavior, nor had he experienced how Sakura's calm and collected determination masked deep insecurities and an inferiority complex. Kakashi may not have seemed to care, but he picked up on more than people gave him credit for. His team was like a family to him.

Another thing that worried him was the intentions of that Sai kid. He was a member of Root and Kakashi had an uneasy feeling about allowing him onto the team. He assumed that Yamato knew to keep a close eye on the kid, but he would have preferred to keep an eye on him himself. It could be nothing, but Kakashi wasn't confident that Sai wouldn't betray the team. He didn't want Yamato to make the same mistake that he had made. He couldn't bear to think of how Naruto and Sakura would react if another one of their teammates were to betray them.

Kakashi closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. It was his fault, what had happened with Sasuke. When a kid turned out rotten, it was almost always partially the parent's fault. Kakashi had tried his best to be like a father to the kid, but it hadn't been enough. In fact, he had maintained an even closer bond with Sasuke than he had with the other two in order to ensure that Sasuke wouldn't feel the need to turn against them. Kakashi understood Sasuke's feelings of pain and loss. It was something very few understood. He had hoped that seeing that someone else had gone through similar trauma and had turned out okay, Sasuke might be more inclined to try and follow in his footsteps. He had been mistaken. Kakashi had only been a tool to Sasuke. A means to an end. It sickened Kakashi that he had been used in such a disposable way.

He should have seen this coming. Sasuke was a determined child and he had openly made a vow to avenge his family. Those sorts of promises weren't broken easily. Kakashi had foolishly hoped that his fatherly love, Naruto's brotherly affection, and Sakura's romantic feelings might tie him down to them. He had hoped that love would triumph, but that was the hope of a child. Reality had set him straight once again. Not only had Kakashi lost Sasuke, but he had lost Team 7 as well.

Contrary to what others may have thought, Kakashi had never favored Sasuke over Sakura or Naruto. The only reason Kakashi had paid special attention to him was because he knew that Sasuke was a special case. In all honesty, Kakashi had never really known how to deal with both Naruto and Sakura. He saw potential in both of them, he cared for both of them, but he wasn't sure how to nourish them or their talents the way that they needed. They were just so different than what he was used to. But over time he had grown to appreciate their strengths. Naruto was strong, determined, and desperate to prove himself. Sakura was intelligent, calm, and constantly seeking the approval of her teammates. Including himself. Seeing them hurt was just another weight he'd have to carry.

In a selfish way, Kakashi was almost jealous of Yamato. This mission was as personal to Kakashi as it was to Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. He wanted his team to be whole again, even if it meant having to fight Sasuke. He knew what unfinished business could do to a team and to each individual member. Despite all that his logic told him, Kakashi still hoped that maybe Sasuke would return with them. He wanted Sasuke to understand the impact of his actions and repent. He wanted to be there to comfort Sakura and Naruto if things didn't turn out the way they hoped. Kakashi sighed and closed his eyes, hoping to go back to sleep. He knew better, though. All he could do was keep hoping until Team 7 returned and pray for the best but prepare for the worst.