Work Text:
Missa was rattled awake by his kids. His usual sleep interrupted by them. Both kids looked panicked, faces white as paper and sweating. This was not how he thought his morning would look like.
“Dads gone missing!” Tallulah signed. Chayanne aggressively nodded, fists clenched at his sides. This REALLY wasn’t how Missa’s morning thought would look like.
Chayanne continued, “Dad said he would wake up today, but his bed is empty and- and all the good gear is gone..”
Missa sits at the edge of his bed to huddle his children around him with his hands. He gently shushes them amongst their anxiety.
“Okay okay, it's going to be alright,” he pats both of the kids on their heads, “Philza is a very strong person. I'm sure that he just went out a little longer to finish bounties and get you all gifts, yeah?”
The kids give him an uncertain look, “but he’s never been out this long before..” Tallulah added.
Missa knows that Tallulah has un-fond memories of abandonment. And her family in every way reassures her and puts doubt on those thoughts.
So, Missa thinks for a second, exaggerating by putting his pointer finger to his temple, “how about we go out and find him? It’ll be our little adventure.”
The kids nod without a second thought, getting their own gear and readying up. “Where do you guys think we should look first?” he prompted.
“Spawn, we can look at which bounties there are,” Chayanne grabs some avocado toast. Tallulah recoils at the smell, tired of it. The eldest kid had always been quick with his thinking, dangers that wanted to kill them lurked throughout their lives to the point where pure instinct couldn’t save them.
“Alright! Too spawn!” Missa opens the door of their beach house. Too bad their wonderful plan was interrupted by water being up to the steps of their residence. There was an unseen presence that Missa felt. It wasn't hostile, but it made him feel uneasy.
It seemed to notice Missa, subsiding back to let him walk down the steps. The kids follow behind him cautiously. The water backs down to the sand and sways stronger than it had ever before.
“Is a tsunami going to start?” he whispers, remembering the sign from that god forsaken 2 weeks he and his friends had to endure. “Kids get ready for-” the water rushes towards them. It rips Chayanne’s crops up from its roots and birds fly up to safety. Tallulah swims to pick up some of the birds that were caught off guard by the waves. Between all this the water rises in front of Missa.
A bubble?
He brings his hands together to cradle it, revealing Brian. Phil’s main crow. Except… he’d been mangled. What once was intricate mechanical wings is now bent shrapnel. His beak was twisted shut and the voice box ripped out. Some of the wires that were exposed stung bits of Missa’s hand and twitched sporadically as if ready to combust at any moment.
Missa hurries back into the house, not wasting a second. “Kids! Get another body ready!” he yells. If any other passing resident heard them it’d be a whole other conversation that he doesn’t have any time for.
He, for the most part, knows the basic troubleshooting of the bird. Maintaining Brian at peak performance was typically an easy task as the mech bird tends to himself most of the time. But there are times where repair is an irrefutable thing. Especially when the other crows drown the bird. Even with waterproof enchantments there are spots where liquid will seep through.
Missa sits in one of the chairs and props Brian up the best he could. Chayanne hops down into the basement to retrieve another Brian while Missa carefully looks for his memory chip.
“Tallulah could you go grab me the tweezers?” The sudden reality of Brian being here finally hit Missa.
Where was Phil? This was- IS his crow. But maybe Phil just lost his crow. No-no.. That can't be it, there was a whole water entity in front of him. None of it makes sense. Phil has to be fine.
“Papa the tweezers,” Missa breaks out of his thoughts as he is handed the tweezers. Chayanne comes back with Brian’s new body in tow.
Both kids crowd beside their dad, anxiously looking at the poor warped bird. He spots the card and starts to remove it from the shell.
The little card found its home in the new body. It takes an unpleasant amount of seconds waiting for Brian. Missa starts to get worried. Thinking that he did the procedure wrong. Breaking brian. Oh, Phil would be so mad at him.
Fortunately for Missa the bird starts to reanimate himself, flapping its wings, testing his voice, turning his head, he’d seem to be working just fine.
Brian locks eyes with Missa and proceeds to shout. Loud.
“ENDERPOOKIE MURKED DADZA!” the flustered crow would say.
“Uh-who-?”
“Philza’s hurt! Help!”
Brian quickly explains that Phil is being targeted by an ‘old-ass-god’. That said old-ass god also found a body to possess and led Phil to him so he could kill Phil. Phil didn’t want to fight and was caught off guard. As luck would have it , the most damage that had been dealt was a splash potion which rendered him unconscious. The crows that were following Phil tried to help but were scared off as Brian was mauled.
From Brian’s last recollection Phil had been dragged into the water by something.
After hearing Brian's horrifying tale Missa takes a deep breath in. “Papa you have to save him,” Tallulah encourages.
Missa chokes on his breath, “Wha- me??” he points towards himself.
“Well we can’t, Dad told us he would kill us in an instant he found where we are,” Missa, wide eyes, stutters over his next words.
“I- you- I'm not going to let you guys fight!” Both kids look at him with a blank face. Knowing. Even if he didn’t let the kids fight, he himself would most likely shatter and have his kids save him. But he would try his damn hardest though!
Chayanne signs to him, “You have to get him back.”
“So- how do you think I’m going to help??” The kids look at eachother. “I have to get the others.” Tallulah and Chayanne start to panic and stop him in his tracks.
“Papa please, no one can know about Him. Dad said it’ll expose Rose to the feds,” the two of them look at Missa with begging eyes. Trying to charm him into everything they want.
He sighs and the kids know they’ve won, “I'm going to get ready to leave then,” he starts fighting through the chests for better armor, “you two are going to stay at home. Here. I don't want you two to die on me.”
The kids nod at him also getting gear for him. Gold apples, potions, enchantments. Missa thinks he’s ready. His kids on the other hand are cringing at the feathery chocobo armor he’s put himself in. If saving Phil means losing a bit of dignity so be it.
And this was it. The time to save Philza minecraft. Father of 2, the bravest man, the leader of BOLAS, one of the head archivists in the order, code breaker extraordinaire second to one! Hah Ha!
…
How do you defeat a god??
This is his first encounter with such a being. It’s a ‘god’ for crying out loud! Missa’s plan of rushing in and praying isn’t going to work. He might have to fight this god alone but that doesn't mean he can't ask for guidance. One person comes up in his mind when it comes to combat… that's right folks it's the french beast: Etoiles!!
“Ok! I’ll just contact Etoiles and ask for advice!” he whispers to himself.
“Way ahead of you papa,” Talullah overhears, “He says he’ll be over very soon.” Soon? As in 5 minutes soon or-
“Ow-what?!” Missa gets smacked over the head.
“Your place looks like shit bro,” a french accented voice rings out, “was I too late to the fight?”
Missa looks up to see Etoiles looking at the front yard's mess.
Missa gets up from the floor and starts to subtly explain what had happened.
“Phil has things going on and- and I need to kill a god!” Etoiles raises a brow at him.
“With what you’re wearing?” Missa turns a little red, but settles with his decision.
“Yeah!” his kids facepalm but what can they do? Etoiles nods impressed.
“Okay I’ll teach you how to fight,” Etoiles heads over to the door, opening it for Missa, “lesson one:”
Missa steps on the stairs.
“Never let your guard down, even if you think they’re your friend,” and he gets kicked down them.
“We’re not friends?” Etoiles chuckles.
“We are.”
“Bro focus, what are you doing?” Etoiles parries an attack from Missa. “Remember you have to go for their openings. You’re just attacking, predictably so!” They’ve been fighting for hours at this point. Missa is getting more frustrated as he would really like to fight ‘that asshole’ already.
“Etoiles, I have to hurry and kill, haven’t I done enough?!” Missa directs another attack, this time taking account of his opponents openings. Unfortunately, Etoiles is still faster than Missa. Blocking his attack.
“Not until you take this seriously!” Etoiles lunges at him quickly. The blade is headed straight for Missa’s neck, almost beheading him. Lucky for him he has a detachable head. Not so lucky that he’ll have to wander aimlessly to put it back on. Missa brings his sword up to block the attack, his senses sharper than before.
Missa’s metaphorical blood boils at that comment. How could he not be taking this seriously! It could mean life or death!
“Taking this seri- Etoiles! I’m wasting time. It isn’t gonna kill itself!!” Missa swings once more and Etoiles blocks it.
“Not bad, you’re improving,” Etoiles says in that instructorish tone, ignoring the angry bones rattling at him, “could be better though.”
Convincing Etoiles through words had stopped working. Missa insulted and patients running thinner than paper shouted, “Tell me how to save Phil already!”and swung.
“Ow” Etoiles holds his side where a wound has been inflicted and laughs. “Keep what you said in mind.” He stores his swords back into its sheath and takes out armor to give to Missa after his chocobo armor was ripped in half by him early on in the training. On the plus side, he can fight with dignity now!
“Sorry about pushing you so far, I needed to know if you actually could handle a god's favor.” Missa snatches it, out of breath from the fight.
“Favor?” Missa asks. Putting the armor on.
“It's what they entice people with. Material possessions, eternal love, what naught,” Etoiles explains. “Another thing Missa.”
He looks expectantly.
“Fighting a god is easier than you expect, but harder than you think,” That's great info, thank you.
“I-I don’t know what that means,” the bones say.
“What I mean is that possession is really tiring to the body,” he clarifies, “any villager wouldn’t be able to sustain that power.”
“Either way. I would need to kill the body right?” Etoiles winces with a dubious look.
“Not really, what you need is to find the bind and destroy it.” Missa sighs the more instructions he was given.
“And when you say no villager would stand it?” He braces for the worst.
Etoiles lightly laughs, “Yeah it's most likely gonna be one of our little friends.”
“You know who else is missing right now?” Etoiles looks at him all twitchy like. Timid even.
“You haven’t touched the surface until now.”
“When- how dare you accuse me of- yeah I haven't,” Etoiles eyes avoid contact while scratching the back of his head.
“Anyways you'll be finneee, go now hurry up.” Etoiles pushes him into a boat and Brian follows, ready to give directions. Missa crashes into the boat with a small “oof.”
“I’ll take care of the kids, Prince Charming! Have a good fight!!” And kicks the boat starting Missa’s voyage. Brian flies north of the house leading them to a desolate island with a waystone. ‘Someones plotting.’
Missa adds the point to his collection. Noting he’s most likely going to respawn back at the house. Brian flies further waiting for Missa from time to time. The bird gets more flighty and hesitant at the familiar path. They both trek on.
Missa is glad to know who they are fighting isn't Etoiles but having anyone else still has him on his toes. If it were Bad or even Tubbo he wouldn’t stand a chance against them. Missa takes another step and the atmosphere changes. They've arrived on the other side of the island where the sand meets the ocean once again. It's… empty..
Peaceful even.
A sharp hiss and splash is heard to his left. Missa snaps his head towards the sound ready to fight. Instead he sees Cellbit trying but failing to swim against the strong currents.
“AH CELLBIT!” Missa starts running in the water, grabbing at the man.
“H-HELP-” Missa grabs his shirt collar and drags him to shore. Brian circles in the air above them, cawing in panic as well.
“Cellbit did you see who threw you in the water?? They’re possessed!” Cellbit coughs out the water in his lungs. Missa pats him on the back trying to help. “Philza’s in danger! Did you come to help?”
After relieving all the water from his lungs he stares at Missa, but he’s not staring at him almost through. As if he's waiting and listening for someone.
“uh …Cellbit?” in a flash Missa feels his spine from his neck down be rived from the rest of his body. The remaining bones fall and scatter across the sand below. Cellbit gathers them all in his arms then ditches him in the ocean. He brushes his hands off his pants and continues to think how am I going to get in the ocean?
Missa, disembodied, feels each bone sway with the currents. If he stays separated for too long he’ll have to respawn without a choice. It would be less than ideal if he were to keep wasting time having to get prepared once again.
Think Missa, think! He feels each bone try all their might to collect back together but the water keeps moving him further apart. It'll be a pain to walk back here once again.
Maybe he was never supposed to be the one saving Phil. He was never enough for Phil in the first place. Why did he think he’d be the one to… he’s wasting time floating, he’ll get back to spawn, grab the other players, and they’ll be the one to rescue Phil. He’ll see how much of a waste he is, leave him behind… yeah that seems about right. His incorporeal finger hover over the respawn…
…
What The Fuck!?? Water pushes his bones close enough that’ll piece back together. The entity manipulating the waves places each of the bones back together.
Oh but he can't do this! Far too weak! Too! Everything!! He can’t-
Be serious. Serious? Mental image Etoiles not right now!!
Maybe it was a blessing in disguise when Etoiles appeared as Missa was being tormented by his inner thoughts. It had shook him out of his spiraling thoughts to focus on one thing. Save Phil. Come on, no time for self loathing right now! (a/n dont do this) (get help when you need it lmao)
Missa walks back on shore dripping with water, but determined to win this fight one way or another.
Cellbit, who was sitting criss-cross applesauce, looked at him with wide eyes, he grabbed his sword seeing that Missa was a more formidable opponent than he thought.
Missa laughs to hype himself up and readies his weapon. Cellbit rushes and their swords collide creating an awful sound of grating metal. Cellbit backs away for a moment to redirect his attack to Missa’s side. He blocks it with the hilt of his sword.
Missa pushes forward, having his opponent back away, leaving breathing room for a couple of seconds. Cellbit rushes in once again going for a lower approach. Missa swings in front of himself and Cellbit ducks still charging forward with the sword. It stabs Missa between the fourth and fifth rib. Right where his heart would be.
If he had one! Missa punches him in the face, making Cellbit stumble to the floor. He clutches his nose in pain. Missa then remembers he has to find this ‘bind’ connected to Cellbit, not beat the guy to death.
“Okay I can do this,” except he doesn’t know what he’s looking for.
Cellbit gets up, pissed off from the bones. He swings the sword again at Missa trying to reach for his throat. Missa backs from the swing.
His arm. Purple veins crawl up from his wrists. They look deep and scarring. It must hurt.. Missa looks further down his arm and spots a bangle. Colored purple and encrusted with gems.
“The bracelet.”
Cellbit backs at his words, covering the jewelry with the sleeve. Missa reaches out to grab at his wrist just to be blocked. He swings again more frantic than ever while his arm gets away from the prodding bones.
“Cellbit, please just stay still for a second!” The fact that Missa barrels through his attacks freaks him out. He trips backwards. Missa grabs ahold of his wrist in the process but loses the hand. Darn his detachability! “My hand!”
Cellbit cringes at the texture around his arm, trying to shake off the offending bones. The attempt fails. His arm flails as Missa tries to get him to calm down. The bones shift and move causing the detective to freak the fuck out. Missa feels he is watching a cat with a balloon stuck on their fur. My bones are not that weird! Either way he comes up to Cellbit with his cape wrapped around his other hand.
The cat stands stiff as a board with his arm out for Missa. His eyes squinted closed and faced away from what was happening. It seemed as if he was pretending he wasn’t in the room.
The skeleton slides the bangle off and retrieves his arm, reattaching it to where it should be. Happy about his achievements.
Cellbit opens up his squinted eyes taking notice of the bangle in his hand. He then tackles Missa for it back. Pinning him on the sand.
“Give it back- give it back to me!” unsettled, Missa chucks it in the sea behind him. Cellbit scrambles for it not realizing that the waves had moved it far away from here.
Cellbit gets up, murder dripping off his face as he turns to face Missa. He laughs a little and gulps. Well what was he supposed to do now?? Did Missa really have to kill Cellbit? No- he’ll just immobilize him. Yep wrap him up in a burrito with his cape-
His head was sent off flying. Oh for crying out loud! Can he go five minutes? 5. FIVE without being de-boned??!! His vision turned dizzy and his body was left wandering trying to find his head. This wasn’t the fight he was anticipating at all. Maybe some bone crushing, maybe some electrocution but-
But THIS!
He's just playing hide and seek with his own bones!
Missa gets a grip on his head securing it on his body before tackling Cellbit from behind and swaddling him in his cape. Tying it off so he wouldn’t get out. He lets out a frustrated sigh and brushes off sand from his hands. Cellbit was left back against the sand. Struggling.
“Brian keep an eye on him please.” The crow raises his wings and salutes. Brian lands on top of Cellbit and pecks at him from time to time as a slight against him… and so he doesn’t get free.. Totally.
With that partially dealt with he steps into the ocean the water runs through his bones making him quicker than most when walking on the seafloor. Bubbles lead towards where he's supposed to go or that's what he thinks at the moment. Then his body is being plummeted by multiple bubbles tickling him. It forms into air around him just to speed things up a little.
After walking for a while.. There he was.
Sleeping in a bed underwater within an air pocket. The dome of water lets Missa pass through and he kneels next to the bed.
“Philza?” He tries shaking the man up but gets hit by his wing insead as he turns around to ignore him. Missa tries once more, shaking more violently and yelling at this point.
“Five m’re m’nts” and he covers his head with a blanket. Missa sighs sitting down with his back against the bed.
“we… “ he hesitates, “we always seem to miss each other, right?”
“I mean I wake up when you do and yet we’re still miles apart. Look at where we are! Miles from our house…” Missa turns and places his head on the edge. “It kind of feels like fate doesn’t want us to be. They wouldn’t be wrong though..”
“You..your perfect Phil, strong, attractive, a wonderful father, anyone would be blessed to be where I am,” he looks at Phil seeing if he stirs at all.
He only hears quiet breathing along with a rise and fall of the blankets.
“You’ve changed my life in the best way possible. And I would gladly take any burden off your shoulders because you deserve the world,” he closes his eyes, waiting, resting for Phil. The scenery is swimming around them ever changing.
Then Missa feels a hand on his head. He looks up to Phil, he’s smiling at him.
“Hey mate, you’re such a sap,” Missa’s eyes goes wide with excitement and hugs him.
“PHILZA!” Phil hugs him back giggling in joy. Missa checks his body to see if anything was hurt or injured.
“Im fine Missa, really,” Phil takes his hand into his own. “How the hell did you get all the way out here?”
Missa sighs a deep one, “oh my god, Philza. Why do things keep happening to us?”
Phil laughs heartily, “oh I don't know, but let’s get back up before we drown down here,” and starts to walk with him back up to the surface.
On shore once again they first see Cellbit face first in the sand with Brian proudly sitting on top of him. The bird hops off the man and back on to Phil’s head. Some crows in the distance gave word to others that he survived and started to gather in the trees to watch him.
“We should call Roier… right?”
“Yes. Yes we should,” the both of them whisper text him and wait. Some of the more bolder crows come up to Phil to check on his well-being and the man simply caresses the bird's wings in comfort.
“Sooo, you beat him up?”
Missa's face turns red with embarrassment, “Uh-well yes.” A different crow lands on Missa’s arm holding a paperclip in its beak. A ‘thank you’ of some sort.
Phil wraps an arm around his shoulders, “Niceee we gotta celebrate with the kids!”
“Philza I will get you- ahg!!” Cellbit or ender possessed Cellbit says but gets pecked by Brian.
“Ay! Don't say such threatening things to Philza!” Cellbit rolls his eyes.
“Oh? A fight? What did I miss?” Roier appears, batting the bushes away to get to them.
“Roier!” The two say in unison “Cellbit got a bit too deep in his work and got possessed, it’ll wear off though, maybe. You got Missa to thank for that,” Phil explains.
“No worries, I'll just get him to sleep it off.” He picks Cellbit up, “see you soon!” and he runs off. In the distance they could hear the pair scolding eachother.
Both Phil and Missa are left alone, “hey, let's go home.” Missa brings out his warpstone. “Oh-wait. Could we take the scenic route?” and Phil pulls Missa along.
“Sure!” Phil laughs, taking his hand once more.
I deserve the world? Yeah no shit, you are my world.