Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was truly embarrassing.

In hindsight, Akira should have expected this. What answer would he possibly get, asking for the impossible? Even Igor, an entity out of this world, would laugh at his face. Truly, the man didn't owe him anything after putting him in a rigged game, right? The master of the velvet room shouldn't owe him for fucking up his life, right? Betting his journey against fate, putting him on a divine scale, and killing the one he was supposed to face against?

"While the game is indeed unfair..." Igor drawled, his high voice grating on Akira's ears, "I don't think your request is wise."

Akira knew. He knew what he was asking was anything but wise. He went way past wise long time ago.

He doesn't miss it.

Lavenza perked up next to them in interest, holding her compendium a bit tighter. She looked as if she wanted to say something, but at the last second, Akira took pity on her.

"I know what you want to say, Lavenza..." He stood taller, and the Velvet room seemed to shake with him. "Sadness and guilt are not a good mix, and I should move on, right? The thing is, Lavenza, that if I moved on from you, from Igor, from this world - we would all be decimated by Yaldabaoth right now. That, If i let it go, Maruki would have put you to sleep forever, and nothing would be solved. If I moved on, remained a slave, despite all the pain and guilt and fury in my heart, we wouldn't be chatting over tea, or breathing, at all. That's why, I ask again..."

Igor's eyes widened, his unwavering smile getting tighter at the edges. Lavenza covered her mouth in shock, dropping her book with a thud.

"...What is the price of saving someone that couldn't be saved?"

The night is similar to the foggy evenings in his home-town. Unblemished stars greet his eyes, and for a moment, the chilly evening is enough to quell dizziness making his head spin. He stares at the navy backdrop of endless space, forever deep and void.

Then another realization takes over. He's short. Close to the ground. Turning his head sideways he sees the curb at eye-level, and does a doubletake. He jerks up, but his body scratches across the black road audibly. There is an underside of a car next to him, innards metallic, but he shouldn't be able to easily fit under it usually, so how? How is he seeing it from his position on the ground, and why was he underneath it?

He lifts his head with effort, and there's something heavier about it. The front of his face is entirely black, reflecting a lantern glow. His nose... was a beak?

Akira takes a few steps backwards, looking down and finding black claws on thin needly fingers. His feet aren't the normal shape at all, and they disappear into the black asphalt, with reflections on his scales and talons being the only indication they're there. Feathers surround him, and when he tries to look--

"Please stop... STOP!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Akira hears someone scream, and his head immediately finds the source, confusion forgotten. Trying his best to move forward, being a mess of feathers as he is, he sees a woman on the pavement ahead. Her face is smushed to the ground, bruised and scratched and bloody. She was crying as some man forces her to the ground, and now that Akira looks, the man looks strikingly familiar.

Shido.

The last he remembers of him, the man was behind bars. Rejected by society. Powerless and locked up.

Yet this man has the same vile eyes, orange glasses, tacky suit. His hands forcefully brought this woman to the ground, and his rough attitude is unmistakable. Underneath a lantern, surrounded by empty evening streets, he looks so familiar that Akira almost sees the tyrant's shadow leer at him with yellow eyes. 

Shocked, everything warps into that night. The night of Akira's arrest. He moves on instinct, despite having little grasp on his body, and doesn't hesitate this time.

A flurry of black feathers hurls himself at Shido's face, who releases the woman and grabs at it in surprise. Akira tries everything he can - biting, scratching, and beating his feathered hands against his eyes. Shido was yelling directly into his entire ribcage as Akira continues attacking, vicious and unrelenting his attack. He was overflowing with murderous intent and adrenaline, and didn't plan to reign anything in.

"What the FUCK?!" The politician half-slurs, half-yells, and grabs the menace by the tail. Akira's frozen, looking into Shido's lenses for a brief moment of time. He feels so small all of a sudden when he's grasped by his big hand - and he finally understands why.

His orange-tinted reflection is a dark, beaked, and furious bird.

Shido scoffs and throws him to the ground, and Akira realizes just how much Shido towers above him now. He has no time to think about why he looks like a bird, or why he was turned into one at all, when fear grips his tiny heart. His body hit the pavement, and the bones that he thought were dense and human, turn out to be hollow and bird-like. He feels something snap, and pierce his muscles on it's way out. Through pain he sees the man leave, and he hears the woman softly crying behind him, or was it... laughter?

Sure enough, he sluggishly picks his beak off the ground to face her, ignoring the pain it brings, and the woman is half-crying and half-laughing. Her face holds a manic smile which is broken by occasional sobs, but all in all, she seems fine. She was sat up, no longer with her cheek to the ground, and holding onto a nearby car for support.

Akira doesn't know this woman. In fact, she's different than the woman he saved at the beginning of April. If he remembers... no, the woman he saved had black hair, but this one had a honey-brown cut, and warm, brown eyes. This is...

Akira looks back at himself, getting over the unknown person next to him, and sees his feathers splayed out on the road. Every time he moves, every time he breathes, something pierces his right shoulder, or at least the place he assumes his shoulder to be. His wings are tousled, and some of his feathers are missing, but he's alive, somehow.

Is this Igor's idea of a joke? Deposit him somewhere random with the avian equivalent of the rat status effect?

He asked for his savior complex to be satisfied, to even the odds, not for this, whatever this is. 

While he was seething at this joke that the universe decided to play on him, he didn't notice the woman behind him moving closer. She shuffled up next to him, her skirt getting dirty on the dirty road, and peered down at his bird-body with curiosity. Her own tears had not dried, but clearly she was fascinated by the creature that randomly hurled themselves at her attacker, leaving his face scratched and bloody.

A chuckle in her melodic voice at recalling this sight was all the warning Akira got before he was picked up by her hands. He cawed in pain, too late to stifle it, and felt his muscles seize and scream at him. Instincts from the metaverse and nature alike were ordering him to run, get away as far as possible from this huge being towering above him, but he couldn't. He was paralyzed every time he tried to move, and logically, knew there's nothing he could do.

In a new body, at the mercy of a woman he saved because of pure PTSD, he could only stare at his impending demise with wide, dark-grey eyes. 

"You scratched him up good!" The woman said, a wide grin on her face. It wavered at the corner quickly though, and she added, "I hope you don't have rabies..?"

Akira didn't know what to say. Could he even say anything? He tried moving his beak, shaking it to signal a "no", but all he got was a spike of pain from his shoulder and a weak croak, "Gaww..."

"You poor thing... He hit you hard... Huh, I guess I can relate..."

Once she stood up with him carefully in her hands, every step made Akira's heart beat slower. The woman held him, but didn't squeeze him, remaining gentle. Her steps were slow and careful, touch minimal, maybe due to injury, but there was no swaying or rough movements in her stride. Akira saw trees and more lanterns pass by him, and let his mind wander. 

The tree leaves he saw above him were orange and yellow, barely losing their green hue, and yet Akira pointedly remembers talking to Igor during summer.

His entire body was drained and tired, but eventually, it seemed like they were nearing their destination. Akira noticed a more rural style of homes around him, smaller and more dilapidated the further they went on. The woman carried him up to the fence gateway and then the door, but the nameplate at the entrance gave Akira pause. 

Akechi.

It must have been a coincidence. There was no way that, on an off chance that Igor was pulling a prank on him, he would send him somewhere where such a family would live? Yet the kanji were unmistakable, metal indented well around the word, and written the same as he remembers seeing all over Tokyo news. It wasn't exactly a common last name in Japan, but it wasn't too rare either, so surely--

"Goro, honey, are you still awake?" The woman asked quietly into the dark home, and Akira's heart dropped.

It was the middle of the night, and she clearly took steps to be as quiet as possible. On an off-chance that her son was awake, she clearly knew the route that makes the least noise, setting her keys quietly on a rack and shuffling over to the bathroom. Akira's eyes adjusted to the dim, warm light above the sink as the woman peered down at him, and in this brightness, Akira saw her face much more clearly.

She had the exact same color of hair as Akechi did, and her eye-shape was spot on, underlined by deep eyebags. Her lips were a bit fuller, but other than that, the shape of her jaw was also unmistakable. Instead of wine-red eyes, however, hers were dark and almost black where the shadows swallowed the hazel hue.

It was like he was looking at an older, beat-up and slightly more compassionate Akechi, staring down at him with pity.

"You poor thing..." She uttered, turning Akira over and finally seeing the extent of the injury, "It must have hurt like hell, but you're strong, aren't you?"

Akira, in his bird form, could say little else except the pained cry in a gravely voice he was given. "Gruhh..."

Occupied by cleaning the wound, which Akira couldn't see but could feel very intensely, the ghost of Akechi's mother started cleaning his wounds. It wasn't pretty, and the teen could see red drops of blood go down the sink below him, and he flinched every time she applied the antiseptic on his shoulder and wing. She took a bandage from the bathroom shelf and wrapped it up, oddly mindful for someone who was rescuing a random bird off the streets.

Black birds were treated like a sign of misfortune for some cultures, yet this woman treated him as if he was something precious, a star that needed comfort and protection. In his entire life, he's never been treated like this...

Akira's feathers kept him warm, but in the woman's grasp, he felt safe. Usually he wouldn't let anyone treat his injuries like this except maybe Takemi, but the strong resemblance to Akechi was making him vulnerable, with exhaustion dulling his senses down even further. 

Wondering if he has finally lost his mind, or if this was really the Akechi household helping an injured raven, he drifted off to sleep, chest rising up and down without pain.

Chapter Text

Here's some art for this fic!

(I had some free time lol)

The next day Akira woke up in a small basket full of fabrics, with a tiny wrapping on his wing. There was morning sun in his face and later, a curious finger poking his bandages. Akira felt it of course, and when the poking got annoying...

"CAW!!!" He croaked out of nowhere, and the person poking him jumped, just as he had expected. Akira's pretty sure that if ravens could smile, he would be doing it, or at least exude an air of smugness. The little boy was startled by his voice and took a step back, as he should, and looked at him quizzically with his wine-red eyes. 

Akira has been observing the boy ever since he came over to begin his poking assault, and sure enough, it was fun to see that face so surprised again. To see it at all, really. Looking up at him was the one and only Goro Akechi. His enemy, rival, confidant, dear friend, someone fated, and everything in between.

He was younger than when Akira first met him, but his curious nature and investigative attitude hasn't changed at all. From his spot on the windowsill, Akira decided to stand up and peer at the boy, doing his best impression of a bird while tilting his head.

"Graww?"

"Psh, what are you even supposed to be? A crow?" The boy asked, and Akira was so baffled, he managed to laugh in his odd gurgling voice. He puffed out his feathers on his chest, and presented himself, hoping the boy would recognize what he really is. The dense shiny feathers mostly all over his body, a small tuft on his big dark beak, his size and distinct regal aura--

"You're the weirdest jackdaw I've ever seen."

Akira could only sputter when Akechi degraded him from a crow to a jackdaw. He couldn't believe it.

"Caw! Gaww!" Akira croaked from his spot at the windowsill, the comfortable basket forgotten when he jumped out of it, injury be damned. Only, balancing his new center of mass was tougher than it looked, and his body tipped over ungracefully. He landed right on his heavier wing, the one with the bandages still on it.

"N-no! Don't move, mom will--"

Already Akira could hardly catch breath from the pain of that tumble. His breathing quickened up in shock, and he tried his best to ride out the wave of agony that washed over his entire body. He was making a pitiful wheezing sound through his beak, and he didn't like it one bit, but it was the only thing helping him get through this awful feeling.

Hands, less experienced yet gentle like his mother's, slowly picked Akira up and put him back into his basket of fabrics. There were thick tears on the boy's cheeks, and Akira could only stare in surprise from below, still wheezing softly and shaking.

"I'm s-sorry, birdie, I didn't mean to, I didn't m-mean to wake you up..!"

Taking a minute to rest, Akira's injury seemed to calm down with time. The raven didn't attempt getting closer again, but similarly, the brunette didn't attempt to poke the bird anymore either. Akira simply looked at Akechi with fondness, noticing how he's still so young, no fake smiles on his face, only slowly drying tears. It was refreshing to see real emotions freely expressed on his face, and no anger, in opposition to how he was in the third semester.

"Gaww...Caww..."

Akechi quickly looked back at the bird, panicking that it was still in pain, only to meet steady breathing and curious eyes. There was a slow blink before these grey eyes re-opened again, and Akechi seemed to relax, giving a soft smile.

"...You must be a grackle. A common grackle."

Akira could only sigh, or at least try to do a bird-version of it. From Akechi's small laugh, he hoped he succeeded.

It's obvious that eventually the Metaverse would catch up to him. Extraordinary cases like his, a human wearing animal skin? They were not common, and so, the call of the collective consciousness beckoned. From looking at the calendar, along seeing younger Akechi and his still-alive mother, Akira knew he was no longer in the year 20XX... Igor sent him somewhere entirely different - the distant past.

He had no clue why he was a bird, specifically, but maybe, his answers are closer than he thinks.

"As I've said, Goro, this is a raven. Ra-ven. Raven. It's a bird rare around these parts, a solitary one, very intelligent. They have great memory and can even solve puzzles!" Akechi's mother said, preparing instant noodles for dinner. A very sad meal, yet smelling very delicious nonetheless.

Akechi gave Akira a side-eye from where he was, and grinned. The kid must have been enjoying himself. "A raven? He looks way too pathetic to be a real raven."

"Goro! Don't be rude!"

Akira only cackled, using his croaking vocal chords the best he could. He has been around the Akechi family for a few days, healing surprisingly fast thanks to good care, food and water that Akechi's mother saved for him, and pure delight keeping him alive. Seeing the small, happy moments in Akechi's life was an eye-opening experience, and Akira was happy to witness it. The boy who hid himself behind multiple walls didn't even begin to collect bricks yet, and it was a joy to see.

Truly, he lived in a home which was falling apart, with no one except his mother, but they all lived happily, somehow. Akira could feel the love emanating off the older woman, and the exhaustion as well for keeping up appearances. Both of them were trapped in sad circumstances, and Akira's heart clenched at the sight.

As Akechi's mom finished serving the noodles to her son, she went over in Akira's direction with a small piece of chicken. He didn't know why the poor woman was so nice to him, wasting food on him, but he guesses that seeing Shido all scratched-up must have been liberating in some way. Petting his head with one hand, she gave him food with the other, and he couldn't help brushing his head deeper against her palm. She truly was a kind woman - overworked, abused, depressed, but loving. Loving too deeply to let go.

Akechi, similarly, came behind her and attempted to give him a scratch on the neck. Akira let him, puffing up his fluffy chest feathers a bit which made Goro laugh. The small child ran his hands over the warm, black plumes, and then set them in the correct directions gently at the end. Akira could tell how much Akechi enjoyed discovering new things, and this was an experience very few people had the pleasure of having.

He angles his head towards them, looking after their conversation...

...Then becomes dazed, looking outside the window without emotion. Metaverse works in mysterious ways, and this vessel of his is not as reliable as he thought. Sometimes he feels himself slipping, Metaverse and reality working against him, and instead of Akira, he becomes just a normal raven, reflection dark and unknowing. He can see what he's doing from the inside, but his mind goes hazy, and there's not much he can do. 

The first time it happened he was terrified. He decided to walk around the windowsill, the call of the Metaverse suddenly spiking up in his mind, but with the window closed, Akira came back to himself a few minutes later.

Today, that was no longer the case.

His beak hits the glass, once, twice, tapping. The small family is still eating when he uncontrollably picks at his bandages, leaving them undone in the basket. At his fourth and final tap, the old window opens a smidge, and his body slips through, wings pounding against the wind current, leaving one stray feather behind.

The Metaverse is calling out to him. Has been for a long time.

As much as Akira knows Ravens are clever, he's pretty sure they wouldn't outright go against their instincts. Birds, generally, don't gravitate towards underground subway-stations unless they're pigeons fishing for pizza. Known for brilliance, solace, and living far away from cities, he would never imagine the situation in which a full raven suddenly dives underground to meet the most volatile of Tokyo's transports - a train. 

He feels himself flying in, expertly dodging the mass of people who rush out of the station, wings perfectly straight when he lands, then tucking them in with grace. When he finally comes back to himself, he feels the pull inside his chest let up, and the dizziness in his head recede. His surroundings blur into a familiar red and black of Mementos before Maruki made it grayscale, and despite himself, he feels relief.

Despite being dark, stuffy and filled with gore, Mementos are familiar, and unchanged from what he remembers them to be.

What surprises him, however, is the feeling of gravity pulling heavier at his body.

"What? I'm..."

Akira Kurusu looks down at himself, and sees his Joker outfit, snugly fitting his human form. Two legs clad in boots, a long coat around his shoulders, and red gloves, tightening as he grips his dagger close.

"...Me?"

The Metaverse has been calling out to him for a while now, when he was with the Akechis, but now that's he's here he feels... better. The way he lost himself sometimes within his avian vessel was scary, but the way he entered Mementos felt much more natural, like something he was supposed to do to re-center himself. Like returning home. 

It was similar to Morgana's way of travelling into Mementos, with no phone or app, something deep within him allowing passage. Despite this, the last thing he expected his cognition to be was his fully human form after entering the collective unconsciousness, making him feel even more at ease.

"Hah...Hah ha ha!" Joker laughed, feeling his mask snugly on his nose, holding Arsene along everyone else. He didn't know what Igor did, but it seemed like he sent Akira back in time with everything he could ever ask for. 

He was meant to be here - but why?

His pulse hummed along the Mementos veins. He has to admit, after the tumulus year he's had, fighting palace owners and two gods, maybe taking his nerves out on the wayward shadows wasn't such a bad idea.

Chapter Text

"Let me fix this. Save the one that couldn't be saved..."

Lavenza was nervous then, Joker could tell. Her lips quivered, and her eyes dimmed, just like Akira's would when he was struck by a past memory without warning. In such moments, the warm hues and soft tones of Jazz Jin melted away into the raw, metallic tang of the engine room, blood and smoke on his tongue, hands bruised from banging against the water-tight door before him.

Flashes of the fake reality stabbed his mind, with everything having a prismatic sheen to it, a clinical and sterile mental state implanted into all of his friends - except Akechi, who burned brightly and scorched him just as much.

Akira can't forget all his friends turning on him in a heartbeat, every day slow and painful. Ann preferring Shiho, Ryuji back in his old team, Mona as a human, Yusuke with his master's paintings, Makoto with her sister, Futaba with her mom, Haru with her dad... They weren't happy with Joker's friendship and advice, they were always unhappy deep down. It hurt, in hindsight.

Out of all of them, Akira and Akechi were alone, and then eventually, he left as well...

It might have been one of the hardest decisions in Akira's life, the most pressing and personal deal he had to make. Now, every time he thinks about the fake reality, ideal and without pain, he wants to vomit. Overwhelmed by guilt and second-thoughts. He knew a world that was perfect was pointless, and similar to Yaldabaoth's control, but the temptation of eternal happiness was a difficult one to throw away. Akira wanted to be happy and carefree - who wouldn't?

Instead, it put everything into perspective. Especially since it took a while for his friends to return back to him, and the anguish on their faces was so intense and unforgettable. The world stood silent for a brief second, and reality quelled its own misfortunes. Who's to say what reality is? Who's to say that wasn't the correct solution? Apparently Akira, and more so the forces behind him pressing his hand in all this. Even in his own desires, he was controlled, with his friends not being as helpful as he'd hoped.

Joker has had enough.

"...I've been forced to play an unjust game, just like him. Let me save him. He deserves as much..! Please!"

If Lavenza looked anxious before, now she looks terrified. Igor, on the other hand, looks up at him with a smile, an understanding brewing behind his eyes.

"Very well. The contract has been sealed." He says, extending his hand forward to his trickster. Akira grasped it without thought, and shook it, but in an instant he's enveloped in pure power of the Velvet room, something familiar yet something he never fully understood. His hope is short-lived, and Akira feels his heart burning within him, ribcage turned upside-down, limbs torn and bloody. It's like he was experiencing every injury he has ever gotten in Palaces and Mementos all over again at the same time. It's difficult to breathe. "May you find what you're looking for, trickster."

Akira screamed, and Lavenza screamed with him.

"You can't! Master, please, reconsider--!" She begged, but it was for naught. Reality bent around them and their trickster was gone, and somewhere in the past, a rigged game started anew.

"Master... why?! Why would you use the power you've just recently recovered for such an uncertain plan?!" Lavenza was beside herself with worry, and came up to Igor, only to see her master smiling as always, completely fine. The man has been greatly weakened by the entire 'bet' he made with the holy grail, who cheated and turned the tables against him. The impostor sealed Igor away for a long time, and the hunchback was barely holding on when they found him.

"Do not fret, Lavenza," Igor responded with a laugh, surprisingly jolly. "Despite my words, I find it fascinating, his will of rebellion. To be fair, I also wished that the odds were even in this game, and that the future was not set in stone... I already helped Akechi Goro in this timeline to survive through the Metaverse's return. Sending our trickster back a few years does no harm, as it is mostly his power and decision to do so."

"What? Really, master? That's wonderful!" The girl was curious too, her yellow eyes shining in wonder, "So you're saying..."

"The ability to go back to the beginning of their adventures is entirely a trickster's own power. If a trickster wishes it so, he can turn back time if needed - although people around them don't remember it, the persona and items carry over. I would say it's an emergency measure given by our master, Philemon, but truly, I'm not sure how it works. I only gave him a little push."

"The additional power, you gave it for travelling towards... Akechi Goro's beginning of the game?"

"Yes... and a small surprise, as well."

The next time Akira saw Akechi's mother, she was heading home with some groceries, her plastic bag a bit bigger than before. The raven flew closer, and looked upon the numerous ingredients with pride, happy that the family could finally afford them.

Bringing small treasures and money from Mementos to their doorstep really brought results. It didn't matter that it took ages to carry things back and forth as a raven with his tiny legs and beak, sometimes making several rounds back and forth for a day's worth of loot - it was worth it. He puffed out his chest in pride, giving a satisfied croak from his spot on a tree-branch, caws almost melodic alongside the autumn winds.

It became a routine, in a sense. Joker would pillage Mementos, running around to get loot and level-up, turning into a raven afterwards to check in on Akechi and the rest of Tokyo. Corrupt adults still existed in the past, so Joker had plenty to do, and in his bird-form, it was easy to overhear conversations required for a successful heist. He kept a close eye on Shido's men, often hanging around the neighborhood and the underbelly of the city, always causing trouble.

Akira needed to watch them closely. The cleaner might already be active, and the sooner he steals their heart, the better. He's not gonna allow them anywhere near Akechi's house.

In fact, each and every time he saw Shido's debt-collector nearing the door, he would promptly shit on them, as birds do. It was quite nice.

The coast was clear for today, and Akira happily flew down to greet Akechi's mother. She was struggling with the groceries, but the sight of a friendly raven always put a smile on her face. "Hi birdie, have you scratched any bad guys today? Or have you stolen their car keys? Who's a good raven!"

"Graa-Cawwr!" Joker tried to accentuate, to no avail. He did whatever he could to keep his odd protective tactics in secret, as well as his 'steal from the rich, give to the poor' shtick, but the woman was more observant than he thought. Akechi must have gotten it from someone, after all. 

She was quite different from what Akira expected. She was strong. A single mother, who had so much love to give, and a bad life paved before her. You could see it in her eyes, the harassment and trauma she had to endure to keep going, deep exhaustion from demanding work, and yet instead of the typical murderous intent he saw within Goro, his mother hid sadness and love-sickness instead.

Her melancholy ran bone-deep. 

Some say love is blind, and after observing her broken family, Akira suspected that her love for Shido was manipulated by Yaldabaoth. She would make calls, ask for the man, give money to the workers Akira didn't manage to attack - it was terrible to witness. Her struggle, obsessively coming back to the man she will never reach.

How can such a strong spirit be so weak, to allow herself to be exploited and drained dry? Why does her heart still yearn for a man who hurt her, who she should hate? How does she look at Goro with fond eyes, knowing he's a result of--

Akira shouldn't think about that.

Doing a polite little bow and dropping off another golden ring he found in Mementos, Akira takes off in flight. It came more naturally to him after his 'raven-self' took control sometimes, but the more Akira visits Mementos, the longer he can remain with his senses, along controlling his own flying. He's always wondered how it would feel to fly like Arsene, iconic for his fashionable giant black wings chained to hell itself, and now he knows - and it's amazing.

Goro's honey-brown hair is easy to spot from above, and his wings fold to dive.

As Akira looks for a landing, turning his beak down, he picks up bits of conversation, and what he hears makes his blood boil.

There's a group of kids with backpacks, probably upperclassmen from the looks of it, cornering Goro in an alley. It doesn't look like a friendly confrontation at all with them being so close, and the boy has no real way of escaping through the solid group, the kids are older and bigger than him. Akechi's back is to a dead end, and the alley is full of trash and an occasional rat behind them.

There's a squeak - from a mouse or Goro, Akira isn't sure.

"You're a damn bastard! No daddy to love you?" One of the attackers provokes, mouth tight in a mocking duck-face. His fat face reminds Akira of Kaneshiro, and he wants to squash it like a bug.

"Your mother's a whore! WHORE! How does it feel like to have a whore for a mother?!" Another bully decides to shove Akechi, and the clothes his mom bought him get soiled in mud. His red hoodie looks brown, seeping in the water from a puddle. The shoving continues after Goro tries to stand up, landing back in the dirt and water, "How's it like to have a hoe for a mom, huh?!"

Akechi's eyes fill with tears, and he looks around, unsure what to do. One of the looming kids has sport-shoes in a bag, and they are preparing to swing--

"Damn bastard! Our school shouldn't be burdened with the likes of you dirty bastards--!"

The kid screams as Akira lands on his head, talons directed straight at his eyes. The bird's hunting instinct makes sure to drive the claws deep, and squeeze, feeling blood seep between his fingers. 

"AAAAAAHHH!!! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF!!!"

With Akira's size it's easy to cover the kid's entire face, disorienting them with feathers and jabs from his bill. While one is incapacitated in seconds, Akira moves onto the other bully, attacking their ear instead and clamping his beak on it. The child squeals, but then, he has a better idea, and dives in, cawing loudly.

"IT'S IN MY EAR! IT'S-- HELP!!!"

Akira's pretty sure the kid's gonna be traumatized for a lifetime when a raven's heavy, pointy beak almost tore his eardrum apart, but in this moment, he doesn't care. He finishes scratching and piercing with his beak around the face, and the bully flees as fast as he can while screaming.

The third kid was, surprisingly, already shoved away by Akechi, backing away. The classmen are all dealt with, and they're left alone in the alleyway, Akira poised to attack, and his confidant wheezing nearby. He has a bruise on his face - something that Akira didn't notice and immediately feels bad about - and his clothes are completely dirty and wet.

"I... I..." Akechi sobs, and falls back to curl up. His knees are drawn to his chin, and Akira can barely hear him cry, muffled by sleeves and his ruined hoodie. 

It's then that Joker realizes, it's September, the beginning of the school year. Akechi dressed up nicely, and probably was hoping to make friends, start the semester happily and peacefully. It completely backfired, with the boy now ruined, beaten, degraded, with his backpack missing or stolen. He looks so young, so tiny, bundled up in his big hoodie trying to hide from everyone, shutting everyone out.

If ravens could cry, Akira's pretty sure he would.

"Gaw..." he tries, softly croak-gurgling. What Akira hopes would get the attention of the boy ends up sounding like a low growl, but he tries anyways, catching a sleeve and pulling at it. "Gwww... Caww...."

"Leave me alone! You stupid crow!" Akechi yells, his crying turning into wailing. His face is red from tears, bruise already blossoming on his cheek, and his eyes are furious, more frustrated and open than Akira has ever seen them. "Go away!!! Dumb bird!"

"Caww..."

Akira is no expert, but no matter what he's asked to do, he will not leave. He's not a stickler for rules, neither is he a coward. It's obvious that Akechi is hurting, trying to throw all frustration and sadness at the nearest possible receiver. If Kurusu must be on the receiving end, so be it.

Half-stupid, half-savior-complex, he attempts to climb Akechi's pant leg to get on his eye level. He catches the fabric with a beak and uses claws to climb, making a small flap with his wings to propel himself up. Finally at the top, he perches himself on Goro's knee, and looks him straight in the eye, invitingly tilting his head. He opens his grey eyes extra wide, hoping to convey that he's listening intently.

The boy looks at him, puzzled, but no longer furious, which is an improvement. There are still tears on his eyelashes, and Akira wished he was human for just this second, able to wipe away every single tear from that face. Akechi didn't deserve this injustice.

They were truly similar in that regard. The main difference was, Akira wished to rebel against corrupt adults, while Goro took aim at everyone who was in his way.

"Grro... Caww..."

The boy scoffs, "You're that weird bird we helped, aren't you?"

Akira nods. Then, he remembers that he's supposed to be an inconspicuous raven, so his last shred of self-preservation makes him turn the motion into preening his feathers at the chest. Nice save, he thinks to himself.

Goro's eyes squint at him, but he lets it go and sighs sadly, "I don't have any bird food anymore, or meat, or... anything, really. They took my backpack and lunch. I'm sorry... I can't give you anything."

Akira merely fluffs his black feathers, showing off their shine for a brief second, and then makes himself comfortable on Akechi's knee. It's actually the perfect size to support his small torso, and with his legs bent, he gets to appreciate the full warmth emitting from his bird form. Akechi adjusts his leg a bit, so that Akira's beak almost touches his face, and to show he's comfortable, he continues to preen.

Goro seems content to just watch him for a while, his breathing evening out, and tears slowly being scrubbed away, dry within a minute. Correcting himself a bit, spreading his weight across the new perching-spot, the raven looks utterly content, trying to pass the calming atmosphere to the boy. If cats can do it, then...

Some time after Akechi calms down, he pets the raven's back, appreciating how smooth and silky it feels. Akira is happy in his own right, as usually he cannot reach his own back at all. His grey eyes close in happiness, feeling additional petting on his head and chin, and unseen, Goro smiles.

Both of them are content and safe, for this one moment.

"What an odd bird you are..."

Days passed by, and Akira realized just how odd his life has become. After making that deal with Igor, he felt like he was helping Akechi get on the right path... a little bit. He helped out the family as much as he could, adding small positive changes to their lives, and trying his best to delay the inevitable.

Unfortunately, the entire universe seemed to be against him. Akechi's bullies have not let up, and Akira could spot the boy's mask building up every day, hurt and furious. He already was developing his detective-prince persona, with a genuine heart hidden deep, deep down, with bitterness permeating underneath. The only friends he saw the boy make felt ingenuine, falling for the charade instead of seeing through it. Even his teachers preferred to ignore the bruises and malnourishment, instead focusing on grades and discipline. 

As for Shido's goons, they came by the house nearly every day, sometimes repeatedly, making sure Akechi's mother stays in line. Akira couldn't do much anymore, as the harassers came in pairs and often readied their guns when he flew by, aiming up. Akechi's mother looked more drained every day, and even with Akira helping, she was struggling to make ends meet.

She could barely pay up, work overtime, and keep the household going without hurting herself, and it showed.

What's worse, Akechi was taking notice of the illegal activity brewing within the town, leaning more and more into Shido's web. Akira tried to keep him away from them, even write something to the boy so he stays away, but the second he tried, he was left paralyzed with a headache, roughly landing on the ground, losing control for hours.

"...Is it meant to be?"

All of a sudden, Akira understood just how limited he was as a raven, and that the rigged game has truly begun. Yaldabaoth, fate, or Mementos, something was preventing him from interfering too much. What could he really do? How far did the influence of the higher power go, and how could he fight it, being like this?

His days as a raven without control have grown, and his hazy mind woke up in Mementos every time it happened, forced to return. He hated when it happened, but at the same time, Akira didn't get it. Why..?

Some days, he could freely hang out around the house, cheering up the small family and bring them trinkets, and some days, he spent mindlessly flying over the town, unable to return and affect any possible important events. His mind went asleep, and hazily remembered only shreds of unconsciousness.

Why was his own body betraying him? Then again, other times...

A flash of memory - he was flying over Ann's house. He distinctly remembers his raven form observing Ann and Ryuji as they went to school together before Shujin, with Ryuji still being a brunette and Ann hiding in her hoodie. Both of them were misfits, with Ann a bit awkward looking and Ryuji dragged along, but at least they had their friendship.

Despite being hazy and dormant, Akira still felt fondness rise inside his heart at that moment, and his raven vessel decided to perch near a bus-stop, gawking curiously at the two.

"Woah, is this for real?!" Ryuji exclaimed, bright colors and even brighter attitude in his approach. He pointed at his perch, and then his feathers and bill, trying to get Ann's attention. "Ann, look! It's a raven, I think? --Or a crow! It's huge!"

Ann, for the record, positively squealed. "I read about them! There's a lot of them in America, in Japan they're mostly symbols! Karasu - I always wanted to see one up close!"

The raven tilted his beak, and croaked once at the tweens in front of it. They were positively mesmerized by the rare creature, who decided to come so close to civilization which it normally avoids. The bird did a flashy take-off, flapping it's wings and spreading them wide in the air, leaving two impressed gasps in his wake.

...The next memory Akira remembers, as he drifted back and forth to consciousness, was staring at a sunset from a dead tree. He felt his feet grasp the rough, dry bark, and heard wind whispering near the fence. It is already winter by then, white snow covering the ground and reflecting the last bits of sunlight.

Akira has no idea what makes this memory special, until the raven turns his head towards a shoddy house and spots someone through a window. Blue hair and eyes stare at him intently, pale hands grasping a sketchbook in one hand and a pencil in the other. Through a weak link connecting Akira and his avian vessel at this moment, he feels pity for the child brought up in these poor conditions. The raven, almost as if he could understand, puffs up to look even more shiny and beautiful, making the child gasp in awe.

Yusuke sketches fervently. So fervently, he doesn't notice the bird flying closer to the window, poking the glass with his beak. The big blue eyes go round, eyelashes dark against gaunt cheekbones, and a smile appears on his mesmerized face.

Akira now understood what this was all about.

At one point of the year, he blanks out completely for a full month. The only time his mind resurfaces to perceive a memory is when his raven figure decides to become a shrine decoration... His sleek body faces two mourning sisters, one younger with brown hair, and one older with silver hair. Both of them pay their respects to the shrine, praying silently due to their father's passing.

He wasn't around to prevent that. His body didn't let him prevent that, and guilt grips his heart tightly, fresh waves of sorrow crashing at his heart's shore. 

As young Makoto corrects the incense on the shrine, Akira swoops down, the smoke curling with his wing's beat. He lands, and tendrils of grey incense circle his form, painting him in ethereal light. 

"Sister, what is this animal doing here?" Makoto asks, and Sae shakes her head, eyes closed and mind lost in her musings. Makoto observes the raven for a second, neither of them moving an inch, before Akira's vessel does something unexpected.

He bows.

The girl was confused, but bows twice in return, allowing the raven to take off, with trails of smoke following his flight.

During spring, Akira's Memento's trips have increased, and his time with the Akechis proved to him that spring shop-sales were the best thing that has ever happened to them. He remembers that day clearly - The raven worked tirelessly to bring them money and treasure so they could buy as much provisions as possible on the sale, while saving money all the while. He went so far that day, flying over what felt like the entire province, and figuring out the best way to help the family.

Eventually though, his exhaustion catches up to him mid flight.

He curses, because he was just about to pick a wayward yen bill off the ground at a park, but his tired mind soothes him and allows the bird vessel to take over and do it's own thing. On impulse, the bird perches in the shadow, and rests among flowers blooming around him. 

"Corvus corax - the common raven. Belongs to the corvidae family, and is easy to confuse with a crow, rook, grackle, and jackdaw." Wakaba Ishiki explained patiently, carrying her daughter on her back. Once the raven realized he was observed, he looked over, and Akira had the pleasure of seeing the gigantic sphinx woman as a normal mother again, smiling at her child softly.

Futaba looked small for her age, but her genuine smile without an ounce of snark brought joy to Akira's soul. They continued their hushed conversation, speaking of the various species of flowers in the area, while Akira's hazy mind barely registered his beak grabbing a few flower seeds from a nearby planter.

Bird-side took over, and the mind within could only watch as the precious cargo was transported to someone else's pot. Judging by the nameplate of the residence, 'Okumura', the pot was Haru's.

Akira watched himself burrow the flower seeds deeper into the pot, beak working as an excellent shovel. Bracing his clawed feet on the clay edge, it took a second to bury the treasure snugly inside. The soil was perfect, Akira could tell, and it was easy to predict an entire pot of flowers was about to sprout from it in a week, especially under Haru's watch.

"What a beauty you are!" A young Haru exclaimed, and even through his haze, Akira could tell the bird almost flinched. "Sorry, but these seeds are not for eating... I do have a bit of tofu with me, though."

The raven, almost ready to bail, seemed to turn around at the mention of tofu. Akira didn't know much about meat and carrion diet, but he himself wouldn't turn a good tofu away. If it was seasoned properly, he had no qualms with the odd soy product, and liked it on occasion...

Haru delicately presented the tofu, palms flat, and Akira, equally delicate, grabbed it from her hand. His beak didn't even pinch, barely touching her, but she giggled in delight at the tickling sensation. She nodded when the bird ate his fill, and returned to watering the rest of the plants.

A week later, tiny forget-me-nots started to bud, and Haru happily showed them to her father.

Chapter Text

With time, things start... changing. 

It is no longer just embarrassing to be the butt of Igor's joke - now it's getting annoying. Akira gets the distinct idea that the lack of Velvet room doors isn't just for his protection, but instead because Igor didn't want him to come in and scream at him in frustration. The time-travel deal was fine and dandy, but the bird deal? It was going too far.

Well. He didn't know if that was the only way to go back, so maybe he should be grateful, but still...

Annoyed, he picks another raven feather from his hair. He was in the middle of a fight, done finishing off a shadow using Maragidyne, and then burning the feather away with it too. It crumbles into ashes between his fingers, and Joker gets a small dose of satisfaction after getting rid of it.

That satisfaction quickly evaporates when he spots another feather on his shoulder, stuck firm in the fabric. He sighs in irritation.

The black plumes had gained quite a bad habit, lately. His raven disguise from the real world has started spilling randomly around his Joker outfit, feather after feather ending up tangled in clothes and hair, completely ruining his thief vibe.

His raven form was carrying over to Mementos, to the collective unconscious, and frankly - it sucked. It was the bird equivalent of having dog-hairs all over yourself when you owned a dog, and cat-hairs on your furniture if you owned a cat. Akira, being lucky, wasn't allergic to Morgana, so he didn't care.

With feathers, however...

"ACHOOOO! " Akira sneezed into Mementos, loudly, so much so that even the reaper himself heard him too.

"--Ugh. Igor, this isn't funny!"  Nobody answered. The red pulsating walls continued to hum menacingly, and most shadows retreated away from him.

Joker could only sigh, hands securing his mask in place, and running further down the subway tunnel, sneezing occasionally.

His Mementos exploits brought some results over time, however he realized every time he entered, time would pass a bit differently up above. He had no idea if it was connected to Igor's idea of fun, Yaldy's meddling, or if his time-travel was limited to important events and regular raven life in-between, but it was quite confusing.

Sometimes his head would be pounding and he would feel dizzy, forced to return to Mementos for a rest, his mind and form disagreeing - but here, with the feathers, it seems like they were merging instead.

He didn't know what to think about this.

Once on another platform down, Akira shook the feathers off him one last time, making his coat pristine once again, ready to cleave through shadows in style. Three wayward slimes went down, and sure enough, next fight he had more feathers in his hair again.

"Achoo! A-A-ACHOOO!!! Damn it..."

Akira could only sigh in exasperation, and keep going. He could deal with Igor's odd antics, or at least he thought he could, until a week later, when the feathers refused to leave him alone.

He tried anything he could to shake them off - taking his coat off, scrubbing it, burning the feathers off with a persona, or freezing them with a Bufu and hoping they would crumble away, without much success. The raven plumage clung to his coat fiercely, and his hair was dotted with singular feathers, blending in with the dark color of his fringe.

Akira cursed up a storm when he found out these fixtures were permanent, and that his locks and clothes were irreparably feathered. He looks very much like a phantom thief still, but these feathered accents were surely... a choice.

When before he looked classy, now he just more like a phantom-thief cosplayer, if he was being honest. It was classy, but not as fashionable. He stopped sneezing at least, and most of the additions could pass for odd broaches and whatnot, but it still was quite peculiar. His beautiful gloves have been modified too, turning darker, with claw-like pointed ends and longer cuffs. Whoever was responsible for this avian makeover, Akira was ready to give them an earful.

Mementos, as ironic as it sounded, was Akira's last bastion of normalcy.

When his form started changing in the collective unconsciousness, taking that normalcy away, for the first time since time-travelling, he felt that maybe this entire thing might not have been the smartest idea...

Mildly troubled, Joker finished his loot gathering a bit early that day. He did his rounds normally over the week, checking in on everyone - Ryuji, Ann, Yusuke, Makoto, Futaba, Haru - keeping a closer eye on the Akechis - and went for the usual Mementos clearing. It would all be fine, if only there wasn't an ominous feeling in the air, persisting from morning to noon, sending shivers down his spine.

He found Kobayakawa's shadow covering at the fifth floor, oddly enough, which meant Shido was expanding his contacts already. Without much preamble he faced his (past? future?) corrupt principal, but couldn't glean much from his confession, nothing solid or illegal just yet.

What he did get, however, was money. Dirty money, true, simply manifesting in Mementos as a concept, but it was enough to help the family Akira had his sights on. Any yen counted, and while he couldn't watch over everyone all the time, he knew that at least he could provide for them.

The bad feeling he had about this day only increased with time as he left the red prison, slipping into his raven form like entering a second skin. His claws grasped the valuables loosely, but adrenaline erased any weight they carried, wings beating aggressively against the wind. Minutes passed, but he could feel it rising, the ominous weight in the weather, the silence of the earth.

The fact no birds were singing, and no one dared to break the melancholy quiet.

Something was wrong, his instincts and head were screaming at him.

Something was wrong. Something was wrong..!

Something was...

Muscle memory alone guided him towards a perch above the Akechi residence, barely making the landing. From up top his eyes zeroed in on the apartment, heart beating too fast at what he saw.

The doors were hanging open, unlocked. Slightly ajar on their hinges. Toolmarks were left on the doorframe, wood splintered in some places. Broken off.

A lone backpack at the entrance. 

The lights were off, and none of the windows were lit up like usual, none of the blinds open to let in the natural sun. The home was oh-so-quiet, it was eerie.

Akira's feathers stood on end, ruffled with anxiety, and ruffled with fear.

He was too late.

Before he could get near the house - to peek inside, by the door, by the windows, the balcony, to fly inside, to see, to check - A boy runs out of there, dried tears on his cheeks, fresh ones dripping down his eyes. Screaming. Those red eyes are wild and wide open, having witnessed something they were never supposed to see. Goro was simply running, running blindly towards the metro station, away from the house, as if his life depended on it.

Akira swoops down. The raven catches sight of a gun by the corner of his eye, someone's legs on the floor. Nobody else is inside, no threat. Only a lifeless body.

He knew who this was... 

Ravens aren't capable of crying. But he isn't just any raven. Talons scraping on the floor, he sees the dried red pool on the tiles, blood staining the carpets, and he feels wetness gather in his tear-ducts. It is after an agonizing moment of Akira just standing there in shock that he finally realizes, the truth getting through to him.

They got to her.

They got to her, and there was nothing I could do...

It takes a minute for it to soak in. A sense of failure filled his heart, and he bowed his head before her, as if to apologize.

It was an out of body feeling, as if he could hold her hand and really cry, but he could only touch her with his feathers, sight unnaturally blurring. It made sense - the crooks sent by Shido got smarter every day, stalking, pestering, everyday at her door, and they finally got to her. Her payment was too huge for her to pay, and her debt was returned with her life instead.

There wasn't even a sign of struggle within the house, the case clean and simple. This attack was something that she expected to happen.

"No..." - If Joker could curse, he would. He would curse not only this world, but Shido, Yaldabaoth, and everyone involved in this cursed game. This stupid game of tragedy that has destroyed a family so loving, so worth protecting, so broken by life already, yet going strong. It was all gone now, destroyed, and there was no going back.

He was sent here specifically to prevent this. Stopping this domino effect, along other things. He was trapped in this game again by his own demand -  He thought he could do it, yet he didn't know just how high the stakes were. How hard it will be to go against a power that he could barely overcome before, now without his friends and allies by his side. 

He has done everything in his power to keep Akechi's mother alive, to keep her happy, remaining with Goro for as long as she could - but he failed.

What was a small delay in the face of everything? Has he even made a difference? Akechi's mother still died - All Akira did was delay these events. Delay, and hope that the same outcome wouldn't happen again. Pray, really, to a fallen god who turned against them both.

Yaldabaoth has taken a move with Shido's hand. Too afraid of a wildcard yet to be. Instead molding him into a perfect weapon, by any means necessary...

By the time Joker hears the sirens approaching, the raven takes off after Akechi, wings burning by just how fast he's flying. It couldn't end like this.

Not again.

With an audible impact he hits the Mementos entrance in record speeds, unfurling mid-flight and falling into the warping reality. His vision distorts as he hits the ground, chest heaving, and his grey eyes blink rapidly to adjust fast, gloved hands bringing him up and forward. He all but leaps down the stairs, boots hitting metal tracks, but he doesn't see him - doesn't know where his rival has run off to.

Desperately, his legs carry him further down the hallway - he's sure the Goro couldn't be far.

This was the day. The day that, in the previous timeline, could have been his awakening. The ominous atmosphere from the entire day rose with Akira's pulse as he turned a corner, boots skidding to a stop.

What met his eyes was a boy, huddled in a corner of Mementos. Curled up and hidden. His head was bowed, honey-gold hair spilling over his knees, back against a wall. Muffled crying was echoing quietly, emitting from the sad bundle of sorrow, barely noticing anything around him.

All Akira could do was extend his hand, taking a small step closer...

"W-Who are you..?"

Chapter Text