Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The voices started to overlap and echo, drowning out and fading as the ringing started to become more dominant. Everything was becoming too much as he stared at the faces around him.

She wasn’t there. She didn’t make it.

“The Recovery Centers were sold.” They said. “Flower destroyed them.” They said.

But that would mean…

Firey stared down at his hands, now realizing the severity of the situation. Every other time, they could just come back. Death was just something everyone could bounce back from, something that she could bounce back from.

He flinched as he felt something sizzling against his cheek; water. He was crying. He could feel their pitying gazes on his back, some sad and others angry. It’s understandable.

He just killed his best friend and now he’ll never see her again.

He’ll be honest, Firey zoned out of the challenge afterwards. He didn’t really care about the prize anymore. Something about the Announcer saying that the voted out contestants, but Firey stared mournfully at the empty podium next to him, knowing full well that Leafy would’ve been there if he had been more careful.

Firey rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the leftover tears when he spotted something in the distance. A black silhouette standing next to the bleachers where the contestants sat. They briefly made eye contact before he blinked and it was gone. For the first time in his life, Firey felt a chill go down his back.

A loud voice brought Firey back in, finally remembering where he was.

‘Right. The votes.’ He sighed as he hunched his shoulders. If she was here, Leafy would’ve no doubt won. She was the favorite after all, a no-brainer for the winner. 

“The voters have decided that Firey is the winner.” The Announcer’s monotone voice calls out, fully startling not only Firey but everyone else.

“WHAT?!”

“Why him?!”

Honestly Firey was in agreement with the others, he’s just as surprised but also feels undeserving.

Firey opened his mouth to complain before someone cut him off. “I know that you’re not about to turn down Dream Island, right?” He turned to see Coiny staring at him with his arms crossed, a slightly disappointed look on his face and Pin standing next to him who was pointedly refusing to look in his direction.

He didn’t have time for this. “...Coiny, full offense, but. Why do you care?” Coiny’s frown deepened, turning almost into a scowl. “Because, despite still hating your guts, I can see that you’re upset about Leafy. You both gave it your all and now that she’s gone, you’re just gonna bail? You know full well that she’d want you to be proud of your win.”

Left dumbfounded, Firey stared at Coiny in surprise.

“I may not have known Leafy all that well, but you and Pin do, and she wouldn’t want you to become all depressed like this.” Coiny continued, his scowl lifting into a small smile, “She’d be happy for you, dude.”

Firey opened his mouth before his eyes widened as he spotted the silhouette again, now closer. His mouth feeling dry, Firey averted his eyes to the ground and weakly nodded. Coiny gave Firey a small pat on the back before walking away, Pin following; although not without giving him a glare before she turned around.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Firey turned back to the Announcer and accepted his prize. It still felt bitter without her.

The stars shone bright as he laid out the blanket and from behind could hear footsteps running against the grass. He heard the sound of a basket being placed on the grass as he sat down and looked beside him, seeing a smile being sent his way.

“Sorry I’m a little late, I was in a rush getting everything in the basket.”

Firey shook his head, a small laugh escaping his lips. “It’s cool, not that late anyway. Just got here myself.”

The giggle next to him made him relax more, feeling at ease as the cold night breeze blew through his flames.

A comfortable silence echoed between them as Firey glanced next to him, watching the orange glow of his flames bounce off of her face.

‘Pretty…’ He smiled as he slightly leaned against her.

“Hey, Firey?” Her voice caught his attention, fully looking in her direction now. “Yea? What’s up?”

She looked a bit hesitant as she fiddled with her hands, a nervous tick that she developed. “This might sound silly…”

“It’s ok, Leafy. You can tell me.” Firey smiled, seeing her nervousness start to slowly melt away.

“Was it…easy?”

Firey smile disappeared into a confused frown. “What do you mean? Like, setting this up? Or–” He was cut off as Leafy leaned into him, making Firey jumped back in alarm. He didn’t bring any Yoyleberries–

“What I meant was…” Leafy reached up and cupped Firey’s cheek, making his face start to bloom in a bright blue blush as she leaned her face in.

“Was it easy when you killed me?"

Chapter Text

Blinking his eyes open, Firey groaned as his eyes adjusted to the room he was in. Looking down, he could see he was sitting down in a lounge chair with a pale blue glow around his body. He moved to stand up, only to not budge.

Groaning obnoxiously loud, Firey leaned his head against the back of the chair. He doesn’t know how exactly got here, he just remembers the storm and being knocked unconscious when the pile of wood fell on top of him.

“Heeeey there, Firey!” An unknown, cheerful voice called out from beside him. Firey flinched as an armless Algebralien stepped into view. His gaze turned untrustworthy as he stared them down, an awkward silence cut through the room.

The alien laughed, not at all perturbed by his glared. “It’s so good to meet you! The first winner of BFDI! It’s an honor, really.” They laughed as if Firey wasn’t being held captive. “I’ve heard so many things about you!” They leaned in, still having that nonchalant aura around them. “Not all of them good, I’ll say.” They whispered in his ear, acting as if they were friends.

Still at a complete loss but starting to get really fed up, Firey snapped. “I’d ask how you know me, but I’m honestly not in the mood. If you’re friends with Four and X, or that weird Two guy, I don’t really care. Is this a threat or–”

The Algebralien laughed, shaking their head. “Threat? No, no no no! I’m just asking for a favor.”

Firey raised an eyebrow in disbelief, not believing their word for a second.

“Look, I’m not here to cause any problems. Yes, I’m a friend of Four, X and Two; but I’m just asking for help in exchange for a favor.” The alien explained, trying to ease the tension in the air. “I give you something you want, in exchange for a favor down the road, that’s all.”

Firey rolled his eyes, “Yeah right. Like you have anything I could possible wa–”

“I can give you back Dream Island.”

He froze, now staring at them. How did they–

“I told you, I’ve been told so many things about you. Like for instance, that your prize was…unfairly stolen from you?” They smiled, sitting down in the armchair across from him with their legs crossed. “I can give it back to you, in exchange for that favor.” They materialized a piece of paper and floated it over to him. “Just sign there and it’s all yours again.” A weight lifted from Firey’s right arm as it was able to move again. He bit his lip, not sure if he should sign it. It seemed too good to be true, but he did want it back again so badly. He did steal Donut’s diary as compensation, even if it did cost his team the win. Sighing, Firey burned his palm against the dotted line on the bottom and was surprised when the paper didn’t immediately catch fire.

“Pleasure doing business with you. But, before you go…” Firey looked up, confused. “I have a friend here who’s been dying to see you again.”

Footsteps echoed from behind Firey as a hand gripped onto the back on his chair, the glint of a knife in the corner of his vision. Sweat beaded down his back as a small fear started to settle in his chest. He thought she was dead, he saw Gelatin kill her.

Who the hell revived her?

“ Hi Firey, did you miss me..? ”

Chapter Text

Ever since he saw the tree on the corner, Firey couldn’t get it out of his head. Watching the gentle breeze blow through its branches, dancing with the foliage. It got his mind reminiscing, thinking about days gone past.

Even after Icy pulled his attention away from the plant, it’s all he could think about on their walk back to the WTF to revive Gelatin. The walk there was a comfortable silence, giving him ample time to weigh the pros and cons of his thought process. He knew it was risky even if he didn’t go through with it, but he still wanted to think about it.

‘I miss her’, He thought. ‘Memories alone wouldn’t suffice.’ He tried to reason with himself.

‘She’s dangerous, though. She hurt us and so many others.’ Another voice in his head countered.

‘I’m sure she was just scared.’ He know he’s just making up excuses to try and justify her actions, but he wasn’t there with Gelatin, Needle and Puffball when they first saw her.

He quietly sighed to himself, still lost on what he should do. He had too many train of thoughts in his head, all arguing over what would be the best option.

Would anyone even find out?

If he did it in secret, surely no one would suspect a thing.

He blinked, seeing the keyboard to the Recovery Center in front of him. Icy looked at him in confusion while Rocky paid him no mind. He must’ve zoned out, too lost in his own head to realize that they walked all the way back. Firey tried not to let it show how nervous he was as he typed Gelatin’s name into the keyboard and began turning the crank. He watched as his friend slowly came out of the machine, a bit relieved to see him. He wanted to talk to him about this as he trusted his judgement, but his fear of getting outed kept his mouth shut as he watched Gelatin hug Icy and Rocky, the trio running back to the WTF.

Watching them disappear in the dark and sure no one could see him, Firey turned back to the Recovery Center and slowly typed in her name.

L

E

A

His fingers trembled with each button press, hesitant but sure on his resolve.

F

He missed her so much. This will be worth it.

Y

He needs to hear her voice again. He needs to see her face again. He just needs her to be alive again.

His hand hovered over the ‘GO’ button, knowing that there would be no turning back the moment he pressed it. He took a deep breath before slowly pressing it. He placed his hands on the crank to turn it. ‘This was worth it’, he keeps telling himself. ‘She’s wor–’ His thoughts were cut off as an unbearably loud buzz sound cut through the dark and filled the air.

Firey immediately let go of the crank and turned to face the sound.

It came from…the Recovery Center? The word ‘ERROR’ flashed on the keyboard, catching him off guard. Had he accidentally typed her name wrong? He’s not the best speller, but he knows her name by heart. Surely it was an accident. He pressed ‘Try Again’ and watched as the machine auto-typed her name back in and sure enough, he had typed it correctly. He cautiously placed his hands back on the crank, waiting for the signal to turn it. It buzzed again, the same error message popping up.

Frustrated over being given the same message twice now, Firey quickly slammed his hand against the ‘Try Again’ button. That buzzer wasn’t quiet by a long shot, so it’d only be a matter of time before Gelatin realized he never followed them back and would come looking for him. He once again waited for the signal to turn the crank only to be given the same buzz and error message. Firey kicked the machine out of anger of not being given what he wanted, the pain in his foot nowhere near comparable to the pain in his chest and the tears in his eyes that threatened to extinguish him.

He kept repeatedly pressing the ‘Try Again’ button, desperately hoping for something to change. To hope that it’ll give him the go ahead to turn the crank. He’s lost count of how many times he’s pressed it, the ringing in his ears from that buzzer in his ears drowning everything else out. His foot is throbbing, his palm is sore and his eyes sting. He doesn’t know how much longer he can keep this up. He’s exhausted and can barely keep his eyes open, but he refuses to fall asleep before being able to revive her. He can’t give up now, not when he made his resolve to bring her back no matter what. He can’t, this means too much. He can’t give up on her. He c–

Gelatin finds Firey passed out against the wall of the Recovery Center in the morning after he noticed his absence. He sighed as he watched as the words 'Recipient deceased for too long. Unable to recover’ scroll across the screen.

Chapter Text

“Of course we’re still friends! I just…thought this would make sense to you. Why do you have to be acting so clueless?!”

Leafy stared at him, her gaze not leaving his face for a second. His words felt so superficial, made to make himself feel better and not realize the damage he’s caused her. She felt her lip trembling as tears gathered in her eyes but the heat from the lava underneath them quickly washed them away as if they were never there.

She managed to find her voice, so soft that she wasn’t sure if she even heard it herself. “Friends…don’t do this, Firey.”

She watched him blink as he tried to process and understand what she just said. “What…are you talking about?”

Leafy closed her eyes as she sighed, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Friends don’t ignore each other for this long…they don’t act like…whatever this is.” She gestured to the both of them. “You said it yourself. You’d rather keep up this…charade of pretending I don’t exist to, I don’t know, protect yourself?”

She watched Firey try to listen and follow what she was saying, but it was obvious to her that he wasn’t understanding what she was trying to put down.

“Leafy, I–” Firey started. She could tell that he was going to try and disprove her in whatever way he could.

“Firey, listen to me. Okay?” Her voice stayed calm despite feeling her heart pound against her chest. She really didn’t want to do this, but maybe this could put her at ease. Maybe even make him feel better too.

Firey’s mouth shut, the fight easily leaving him as he gave her his full attention. Despite everything, he always found it hard to ignore her.

Leafy took a few calming breaths, trying to ease her nerves and her mind that was screaming at her to not do this. ‘It’s better this way’, she reasoned with herself.

“I think…” She paused, gathering her next words. It would undoubtedly hurt, but it needs to be done. “...I think it’d be better for us if we…aren’t friends again.”

Leafy yelped in shock as Firey’s hold on her vanished for a second, almost dropping her into the lava, before rebalancing his grip. She winced in slight pain as it was tighter than before, but kept her mouth shut. She watched as a multitude of different emotions danced across his face. Confusion. Distress. Anger. It was like watching a kaleidoscope. He stared up at her with eyes that made her want to take back her words, but she had to stand her ground. She couldn’t falter.

“...Why?” Was all he asked, his voice clear seconds away from breaking.

“Because I…” She paused, needing to find her words. “...it’s clear that you want nothing to do with me, Firey. You pretend I don’t exist, you don’t even want to be in the same room as me…You say we’re still friends, but it doesn’t feel like it.”

“B-but…Leafy, we are still friends! It’s just– I–” Leafy smiled at him, shaking her head. “It’s okay, Firey. You don’t need to try and explain yourself.” She gently pried his grip on her off and hopped onto the building next to them, balancing herself once she landed on the rooftop. “It can benefit both of us and the team, y’know? There won’t be any awkward tension anymore and you don’t have to pretend to not know me anymore. Win-win, right?” There was an obvious strain in her voice and it was taking everything in her to not break down, but this needs to happen.

Firey sputtered, trying to retort or fire back with anything to get Leafy to change her mind. She was the one constant in his life where even when everything and everyone was against her, she never left his mind. Even when she was eliminated, she was never far from his thoughts. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her, of her leaving him.

He watched her disappear to the other side of the roof, leaving him alone as he muffled his cries, his tears stinging against his cheeks.

Chapter Text

It’s been a while since Firey won Dream Island, almost a decade even and everything has still been completely calm and peaceful on his island surrounded by people who he considered his closest friends.

…Except for one.

If you asked him if he was happy with his win after the first week, he’d happily exclaim that he was elated and couldn’t wait to spend so much time with everyone. But if you asked now? He’d still say yes, but less enthusiastically.

After those first few months of his win, Firey started to let the guilt sink in. Every time he stared at the front gates that boarded shut, he was reminded of the day that he shut her out. Unable to deal with that uneasy feeling that kept churning in his gut, he finally tore down those boards and opened the gate.

He doesn’t know why he expected her to still be there.

It’s been years since he opened the gates and he still wonders about Leafy, praying that she’s ok and that she found someplace safe. He so desperately wanted to go out and search for her himself, but the land was so massive and he didn’t exactly trust anyone to be in charge in his absence. So he was forced to stay in his prized land while the person who he wanted most was out wandering the world.

He watches as everyone else comes and goes as they please, talking about all the places outside. He desires to be one of them, to leave the land he fought so hard to obtain just for the chance to chase after her. He wanted to find her so he could apologize for being so stupid, for being so blindsighted, for hurting her.

Firey just wants her in his life again.

He wants to hear her ramble about nothing, listen to her laugh at one of his stupid jokes, watch her beat him in tic-tac-toe again.

He was so hopelessly in love with Leafy, but he lost her and he doesn’t think he’ll ever see her again.

He dreams of her at the gate, asking for refuge. He dreams of her stopping by for a visit because she’s still friends with almost everyone on the island. He dreams of her suddenly showing up and wanting to start over.

Her. Her. Her. He can’t stop dreaming about her. He can’t stop thinking about her. He can’t stop wanting her.

It’s been nearly a decade and he still can’t have her.

He’s been spiraling, his mental health dipping into dangerous territory when Coiny and Pen reach out to him, telling him that they got an invite to a party outside of the island and were allowed to bring a plus one, implying that they wanted to bring him with them.

He was about to decline, stating that he didn’t want to leave anyone else in charge while he was gone.

“Don’t worry about that, everyone is going. We all either got invited or are plus ones.” Coiny supplied.

“Yeah. You’d be by yourself if you didn’t go. Plus we could all tell that you’ve been itching to go outside.” Pen lightly joked with a soft smile on his face.

Firey sighed, a bit irritated with himself that he was so easy to read and the paranoia of being by himself was unbearable. “Fine.”

The two instantly cheered, high-fiving each other at their success.

“We don’t know what kind of party it is, but the invite says to dress fancy. That’s all the info we got on a ‘dress code’.” Coiny shrugged. “So our guess is that it’s a fancy dinner party.”

Firey rolled his eyes, knowing full well that half of the people on the island would be terrible dinner guests and wondering who on Goiky would actually invite someone like Snowball or Blocky to something that sounds important.

“It’ll take place in a few days, so I guess we hope you dress nice?” Pen smiled, questioning even himself why his friend group was invited.

He sighed to himself before nodding and heading back to his room, completely missing the awkward shared glances Pen and Coiny sent each other the moment Firey turned his back.

For the first time in ages, Firey finally felt better in himself. He smiled as he fixed the bowtie Flower fashioned for him out of flame retardant material, pleased with his appearance. He actually looked forward to this party that Coiny and Pen invited him to.

It was quite far away from Dream Island, close to Yoyleland, but Firey wasn’t that picky. It was a change of scenery and that he was happy about. Walking into the large building and entering the main room, Firey instantly noticed the decor. Almost everything was white; from the flowers and cloths on the tables, the banners and the balloons in the air. He could tell it was a wedding from a mile away, he was a bit confused about the splashes of green mixed in, but he wasn’t a color expert. He shrugged to himself and was about to turn away when he noticed the absolutely massive wedding cake stuffed in the corner of the room. Seeing that there were toppers on it, he wanted to see who the happy couple was since no one ever told him. He was ever curious and wanted to congratulate them on their special day–

He stumbled back once the toppers came into view and nearly tripped over a chair, his eyes never leaving the bright green bride that was made into the perfect image of her.

He could barely hear the rush of footsteps as people gathered around him to check if he was alright. Muffled voices barely pierced the fog in his head as he stared at the toppers, feeling like it was just there to mock him.

He lost her, he pushed her away, he locked her out, he hurt her. He wanted her, he oh so desperately wanted her to be his.

With tears stinging against his face, Firey darted out of the room and out of the venue hall. He just knew if he stood there any longer and forced himself to watch her get wed to someone that wasn’t him, he would break. Break even further than he already was.

The first step to loving someone was to let them go, but Firey refused to let Leafy go. He loved her for so long, how could he just let her go?

He just…couldn’t.

He couldn’t have her, but he was content with loving her from afar.

Chapter Text

Ever since she was brought back all those years ago, Leafy has just been…tired. She’s been tired of living in the shadows, tired of being the villain in everyone’s eyes, tired of having to barely get any sleep out of fear that she could get attacked if she let her guard down, tired of HIM.

Her hands hurt from carrying her blades with her; at first they held a form of comfort and safety for her, but now they just remind her of what she lost. Even though it’s been years since she escaped Yoyleland, her hands still itch for that feeling of handling a knife.

She’s envious of course, she’s been for a while now. Ever since she joined BFB and even when she got moved over to The Losers, she’s been envious of everyone around her. She can’t go one day without someone bringing up what she did or someone looking at her like she’s the scum of the earth. So often she just wants to leave, just quit the show entirely and not look back. Hell, even TPOT sounded more appealing than having to deal with what’s going on now. She’s forced to wait until everyone is out of earshot before she’s able to break, to let every hurtful word and accusation thrown at her finally sink in.

All she wanted was to be nice to everyone, but every day makes her want to just become the person who they think she is just for the sick gratification of watching them realize how horribly they treated her. Her screams and cries for a better tomorrow are muffled by her pillow and knowledge that it’ll never come.

The days where she just wants to give up scare her the most. That one year where she was dead was agonizing and the thought of never coming back at all terrifies her, but it also sounds so alluring to her. The thought of not having to deal with them anymore, not wondering when will be the day she’ll snap and do something that she’ll terribly regret? The only thing stopping that thought is the knowledge that someone would bring her back. They’re still in the competition, so her wanting to be free from them would only be a hindrance in the end.

It’s not like she can just go up to 4 and X, going “Hey if I die, can you not revive me? Thanks!”. That would be too suspicious; X would undoubtedly be worried for her (bless his heart), while 4 would dismiss it unless she stepped down from competing and after him claiming she was his favorite student, she couldn’t stand to upset him. And so, she forces a smile on her face every morning, loudly greets everyone with a chipper attitude that never felt genuine in years and awaits for the next burn that’ll keep slowly eating away at her until there’s truly nothing left.

–

At first, watching her left a grating and uneasy feeling in the pit of Firey’s stomach. Watching her smile and chat with everyone as if pretending what happened back then never happened. He’ll be honest and admit that watching others being rude to her and snapping at her left a sick sense of enjoyment in him but seeing her stand alone with a distraught and sad expression on her face made something in him twist, but he kept pushing it down because to him and to everyone else around them, he doesn’t know her and they aren’t friends.

There’s been days where Leafy has a blank expression on her face, making him feel uncomfortable. He’s always seen a smile on her face and even though he’s been pushing her away, seeing her so despondent didn’t sit right with him. The night before the split, he remembers overhearing her talking to Coiny and listening to her push down her feelings made him wonder what else she’s been pushing down.

–

It was a beautiful night for stargazing, which is what Firey decided to go do. He couldn’t fall asleep, so he figured he might do something to make him relax. He quietly exited the cabin his team slept in and walked out, looking for the perfect spot over the hills. It wasn’t long before he found one, before he looked over and saw…her.

He was about to turn around and leave when she unexpectedly stood up, “Don’t worry, I was just leaving”. Her voice was just barely above a whisper, but it was enough to make him uneasy. He reached out to stop her but his voice was caught in his throat. He watched her walk away before deciding enough was enough and wanted to genuinely check up on her. “L-Leafy, wait!” He ran after her, hoping to catch her before she went into her cabin. He reached out to grab her shoulder, “Hey, are you ok–”, her arm swatted him away like he was nothing but a pesky bug and it struck a cord with him.

She didn’t turn to face him, instead wrapping her arms around herself in a weak facsimile of a hug. “…Why do you care?” Her tone sharp with barely laced bitterness. He paused, letting her words process for a moment. “Leafy, what? I-I’ve always cared–” “Well you sure have a funny way of showing it.” He reeled back at her words, having not expected Leafy to get genuinely angry at him.

“Y'know, Firey?” She’d began, the years of hurt finally making her voice break, “I noticed that while I was gone, everything was so much better for you and everyone else.” His eyes widened he started to pick up what she was implying. “It made me feel like, maybe….it would’ve been better…” She turned to face him and seeing her look so utterly broken and defeated torn him up inside. “…if you never recovered me.”

“….What?” His voice cracked, tears starting to form. The idea of never recovering her never even crossed his mind, it was something that he would never regret and wasn’t going to take that decision back at any point in his life.

He watched as she turned away from him and walked back to her cabin, for once feeling cold in his own skin.