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"I want to use the emotion heightening candles again." Maka said one lazy Saturday afternoon.
"You what!?!" Soul put down his game controller and turned to face his meister.
Determination shone in her eyes.
"Soul, if we try again-"
"No. I'm not risking everything with you again just for some more power Maka! Do you realize how miserable I was after the last time? How horrible it felt for me?"
"I was there too remember? I just wanted to try." Maka retorted.
She was curled up in her normal spot on the couch, her feet tucked under her. Soul noticed she was wearing one of his t-shirts. He narrowed his crimson eyes.
"Why the sudden interest in the candles again? It's been years."
Maka suddenly looked unsure of herself. Her cheeks reddened slightly.
"I just thought it would make it easier to keep you safe." she muttered.
Their last mission had left Soul with several various cuts and scrapes, and a butterfly bandage over his left eyebrow. Soul sighed, and moved from the floor in front of the tv to the spot right next to Maka.
"Maka, you worry too much, I'm fine." He said placing a friendly hand on her knee.
She looked up at him through her bangs.
"But there will be another time when you aren't!" she said. "I don't want that to happen again Soul! It's my fault when you get hurt and it kills me! I can't lose you!" She reddened at her sudden outburst, but held his gaze.
Soul sighed. "If it bothers you that much, talk to Dr. Stein. I'll do it. But the moment something goes even a little bit wrong, I'm dragging us out of there!"
Maka relaxed back into the couch and grabbed her book.
"I'll talk to him on Monday." she said.
Soul settled into the place next to her and lazily draped his arm over the back of her seat and turned on the tv. She moved so she leaned against his chest and opened her book. Soul tried to swallow his sense of foreboding.
That Monday, Maka visited Stein's office after class and asked him if Soul and she could use the candles again. The doctor saw the look in Maka’s eyes. They wouldn’t fail this time. He was sure of it.
“What day do you want them?” he asked with a shrug.
“February 14. This Thursday.” She said, turning a bit red.
Stein raised an eyebrow, but acquiesced. The girl was planning something. He grinned. He hoped it worked. Soul and Maka obviously liked each other. Anyone with a pair of eyes could see that, and their souls were almost constantly resonating a little bit. It was almost cute, if the glare he got from it wouldn't keep distracting him.
Maka walked through the apartment door with an armful of groceries and a bag of Chinese take-out.
“Soul!” She called, “I got takeout on my way home. I got your normal; hope that’s ok.”
Soul emerged from the bathroom, towel still draped around his shoulders from his shower. She had to try not to stare, he must’ve played some basketball with Blackstar while she was gone.
He was still a bit damp from the shower, and his shirt clung to his arms and stomach. His hair was still dripping, and hung in his eyes more than usual. He smirked at her from under his bangs; his red eyes seemed to glow.
“The normal’s fine,” he said, brushing past her to get forks out of the kitchen. She had to remind herself that it was not normal to tell people they smelled awesome.
“What did Stein say?” he asked once they had sat down on the couch and started eating.
“Oh, he said the only day he could spare the time was this Thursday.” she said as nonchalantly as possible.
“Valentine's Day?” Soul said with a note of surprise in his voice.
“Yeah I know, I was looking forward to hanging out with everyone too.” Maka said. Their friends had set up a house party at Black Star and Tsubaki’s house to avoid all of the Valentine’s Day festivities.
“It's cool.” Soul said with a shrug, “I’ll call Blackstar after dinner and tell him we won’t be able to make it. I’ll tell him we have to do some extra training or something.”
Maka nodded and dug into her food. Suddenly she was nervous. Thursday was tomorrow. What if she was risking her and Soul’s relationship unnecessarily? But it seemed like a good plan to her. It was relatively simple, the candles would give her the courage to tell Soul she liked him, and hopefully he would feel the same way. Liz and Patti had sworn that he had a thing for her; she really hoped so, otherwise she was about to destroy their partnership all for a silly crush. But she knew, deep down, that this was so much more than a silly crush; she was in love with him. And it was killing her, him not knowing. They never kept anything from each other. And this was big. She smiled up at him and they dug into their Chinese food.
Thursday dawned cloudy and cold, but they took Soul’s motorcycle anyway. She clung tightly to him, the leather of his jacket pressed into her cheek, and she prayed with everything she had that she wasn’t about to make the worst mistake of her life.
Soul resisted the urge to ask if she was ok, it would only make whatever she was hiding from him worse. He had felt something off in her soul all week, and he wasn’t sure what it was. They were usually so completely open with each other, but for the past week there had been a part of her she’d kept carefully out of reach. He almost hadn’t noticed it, but she couldn't hide it when she was sleeping. Some part of her felt something so strongly, it took an amazing force of will to keep it hidden from him. But there was something there, and Soul had no clue what it could be, he only hoped it wasn’t anything horrible.
Her soul gave such a jolt of nervousness when they arrived at the school- Soul almost fell off of the bike. Maka was quiet, and when he took her hand, he felt it shaking.
“We don’t have to do this, Maka, we can go home if you want.” Soul told her, squeezing her trembling hand for a moment.
She looked up at him, the first time she had made eye contact all morning, and that same determined look shone in her bright green eyes.
“I can do this. We can do this.” she told Soul with much more conviction than she felt.
They walked into the building together. Stein felt them enter the building before he saw them. Maka was so nervous her very soul was shaking, and Soul was apprehensive and viciously curious about this whole endeavor. Stein stepped into the hallway when they neared his office. He had to resist the urge to comment when he saw the pair were hand in hand.
This was it. They were in the same room as their first try with the candles, but this time it would be different. Maka was determined to make this work. Soul struck a match and lit the first candle. Instead of a room full, Stein had left them with three. Maka watched the wick catch fire and the flame flicker, and felt her emotions jump. Soul lit the second candle with the first. Maka noticed his hands were shaking. In what ways was this affecting him? Maka felt strung out, like her feelings were being pulled from her, which, in a way, they were. Soul lit the final candle. A pressure seemed to grow in the room, but they both took deep breaths and tried to relax.
Soul was far from relaxed. He was freaking out actually. When he had agreed to this he hadn't thought about his feelings for Maka, but now they were emerging from where he had shoved them down. Way down. There was no way Maka felt the same way about him. He just had to keep that locked up for a few minutes, and everything would be fine. He clenched his hands in his lap. This was not going to be easy.
Maka watched Soul settle uneasily into a sitting position, the candles between them casting flickering shadows under his jaw. It was too hot in the room already, and she felt lightheaded, like she had taken too many deep breaths too quickly. She felt a bead of sweat slide down her neck, she looked down and her hands were shaking slightly. She took a deep, steadying breath, and looked up at Soul. The full force of the three candles hit her, and chill bumps raced down her arms. She couldn’t hold back a gasp as so many emotions slammed into her at once. She unbuttoned the top button of her blouse, it’s fabric felt too rough against her, too restricting. Soul was shaking, his blood red eyes seemed almost… afraid. She had to do something, fear in here could lead to a panic attack.
She gathered her nerves, and said, “Uh, maybe this would be easier if I sat next to you.” she didn’t like how breathy her voice sounded.
Soul didn’t say anything, he just nodded, so she got up on shaky legs and sat down next to him. He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, then turned to her. Maka could feel Soul shaking, and see the panic in his eyes. She laid a hand on his arm, and slid it down to where his hands were clenched in his lap. She felt chill bumps race down his arm at her touch, and he inhaled sharply.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, as she watched his hands clench until his knuckles turned white. He looked at her, and took another deep breath.
“I’m scared.” he said. “I’m scared of why you brought us here, and I’m scared of how these damn things make me want to act, and do to you-” he stopped, and pursed his lips together, as if he’d said too much.
That small slip of words gave Maka confidence. She leaned down and blew out one of the candles, the air in the room immediately became a bit lighter, and Maka felt like she could breathe normally again. Soul stopped shaking abruptly, and heaved a huge sigh.
“That’s a bit better.” he said. “I feel like I can think straight again.” Maka giggled nervously. She never giggled.
Soul narrowed his eyes, “Why did you bring us here, Maka?” She froze, her hand still on his arm, and said, “I wanted to ask you something. Something important, that I don’t have the courage to tell you normally.”
“Does it have anything to do with whatever you’ve been hiding from me?” Soul asked. Hiding from him? What had she been hiding from him?
“What?” she asked.
Soul sighed, “Whenever we resonate, I feel this… wall up, where I can’t see what you’re thinking or feeling, it’s just one corner of your mind, which makes it even more obvious, but I didn’t notice it for a while, and this past week it’s been even more pronounced. So what’s wrong?”
Maka had not been expecting that. She thought she had hidden it well, but he knew. She looked at him, and said, “I really hope I’m not making the worst mistake of my life.” and opened her soul to him.
All of her feelings and memories about him, for him, rushed into Soul’s head. There was the first time they met, and their first battle together, but there were more, just regular moments between them, like cuddling on the couch or eating dinner together. Her emotions slammed into him and swirled through his mind. She was in love with him. Just as deeply in love with him as he was for her. The emotions and memories stopped just as abruptly as they had begun, and he rocked back with the shock of it. Recovering, he looked at Maka. She sat perfectly still, staring into the candles, her hands clenched in her lap. She was biting her lower lip, and blushing furiously.
Suddenly, she spoke, “I can understand if you don’t feel the same way,” she said, “but please don’t let this ruin our partnership. I don’t know what I would do if-”
Soul cut her off by caressing her cheek, and gently turning her head so she’d look at him. Her downcast eyes turned up to meet with his. He saw she was close to tears, and realized he had to say something, it had been too long since he’d said anything.
“I love you, too” he told his meister.
Stein, in his office next door, physically fell out of his chair when the full force of someone’s soul lit up every soul detection spell he had. He was awash in the emotions and memories of someone else… Maka’s, he realized. He saw Soul and her meet, and countless small moments in between and realized exactly why she had brought Soul here. He grinned, and scraped himself up off of the floor. He hoped whatever his answer was, it was the right one.