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The first time Kunikida dressed as Santa for Christmas, Atsushi didn’t know what to think. He had never really celebrated holidays growing up, and he for sure was never on the receiving end of any gifts. He knew the concepts of Santa, and vague traditions that surrounded holiday celebrations, but Atsushi had never been allowed to participate.
The first time Kunikida handed him a Christmas present, Atsushi didn't know what to do with it. He had held the neatly wrapped box in front of him like it was a bomb, unsure if he should open it at his desk or where he stood frozen in the waiting area. After what felt like an eternity, Atsushi made it to his desk and gently unwrapped the gift.
He remembered thinking it was a trick, still plagued by memories of the orphanage and the headmaster. Atsushi opened it so slowly, as if to protect himself from a sudden danger inside. But he found the exact opposite. Nestled inside were 3 small picture frames.
He had only ever mentioned it to Kunikida once. That he carried his precious new photos in his wallet, and was always worried about them getting ruined somehow. And now he had somewhere safe for them to stay.
Atsushi remembered excusing himself to cry in the bathroom. He was sure the other agency members noticed, but they didn’t say anything. Giving him his space, letting him feel, that’s just the type of people they were.
When Kunikida arrived this morning, dressed head to toe in red and handing out gifts, Atsushi was excited. After the year they’d had, the Agency had gone all out decorating the office for the holidays. Lights and garlands hung along the windows. Naomi and Haruno had managed to fit 3 fully decorated trees throughout the office, along with a makeshift fireplace with stockings for everyone. Atsushi wasn’t allowed to check his, but he could see it was near overflowing.
He had just set his things on his desk when he heard a question from beside him.
“Do you make him do that? Or does he choose to dress up himself?”
It was Sigma, who was already seated in his new place at the desk next to Atsushi. They had done some rearranging when he was officially hired. Dazai was no longer Atsushi’s desk partner, which thankfully meant less paperwork ended up in front of him. Atsushi liked working with Sigma. He was dedicated, and kind, and they had a lot more in common than Atsushi originally thought.
Atsushi liked working with him, and was trying his best to be a good mentor. But he forgot to mention some things from time to time.
“Oh! Kunikida does this every year!” He answered quickly. “He says it’s to spread holiday spirit, but I really think he has fun with it. He also gives out all the presents.”
“In the bag?” Sigma asked, with an arched brow, watching as Kunikida, said bag in tow, approached Kenji and Jun’ichiro.
“Yep!”
Kunikida reached into his assortment and presented two boxes to the detectives.
“Every single present in that bag is for one of us?” Sigma continued asking, brows raised.
“Yep! He even brings one for everyone in the cafe and small ones for the workers in the law offices beneath us.”
“Oh…” he trailed off, brows drawing together.
Atsushi thought he must be worried about all the gift giving and felt unprepared, so he rushed to reassure him.
“Don’t feel like you need to bring gifts too!” Atsushi said, waving his hands. “Like I said, Kunikida always does this! It’s mostly little gifts, nothing too big.”
Sigma was still new and getting used to being at the agency. Atsushi wasn’t even sure he had time to properly meet everyone without a life or death situation hanging over them at every moment.
“We exchange gifts all throughout the week, so if you wanted to get or bring something, you can always do it later.”
Sigma shook his head. “That’s not it, I just-“
They were cut off as Kunikida made his way to their tables.
“Good morning! Merry Christmas!”
His sack hit the ground with a deep thud, and Kunikida began shuffling through its contents. He pulled from within a neatly wrapped green box and handed it to Atsushi.
“This is for you, I recommend you don’t eat it all at once.”
Atsushi bowed, and collected it with a grin. “Thank you, Kunikida. And Merry Christmas!”
Kunikida turned and began digging around in his bag again. “And for Sigma….”
This time it was a small box, with yellow wrapping paper adorned with stars.
“Here you are. Merry Christmas!”
Sigma took the box in his hands, a strange expression on his face. Atsushi realized with a start that his earlier assumption about what was bothering him was wrong. He suddenly knew exactly what Sigma was feeling, only because he himself had felt it not long ago.
He held the box gently in his hands, arms still slightly raised in front of him. He had a blank look, and sat there motionless. Atsushi thought that’s what he must have looked like his first time too.
“You don’t have to open it in here if you don’t want to,” Atsushi said gently. “Like I said, it’s normally something small.”
He tilted his open gift towards Sigma. “See, this year he got me a candy we saw once on a case out of town.”
“You said he does this every year?” Sigma asked, still looking at the unopened gift in front of him.
“Yeah.”
“For every agency member?”
“Of course.”
“Oh.”
Sigma looked up at Atsushi, eyes glistening. He blinked and turned to gaze out across the office. Everyone had arrived by now, the space filling up with voices and movement. It was full, but not crowded. Everyone was there and where they were meant to be, no piece out of place.
Sigma’s gaze landed on the makeshift fireplace, and he seemed to finally register he was there too, a pale purple and cream stocking next to Atsushi’s black and white one, filled to the brim.
Atsushi stayed silent. He knew how much it weighed on the heart, to finally belong somewhere. To feel alone for so long only to look around and realize he’d been welcomed in so easily. To have a place saved for him at the table. Or in this case, the lovingly created fake mantle.
He pretended not to notice as Sigma blinked away a few tears. Atsushi distracted himself by setting up his desk for the day, arranging papers and powering on his laptop.
He did not look as Sigma set the box in his lap and gently unwrapped the paper. Or when he slowly lifted the lid to peek inside. Atsushi knew Kunikida kept a detailed list of everyone’s likes and interests for days like this, and he trusted his seniors' judgment.
A bright laugh rang out, and Atsushi looked to find Sigma closing the box with a smile on his face.
He couldn’t stop himself from asking. “Was it something good?”
Sigma looked at him, bright eyed and smiling wider than Atsushi had ever seen. “Yeah.”
“Good.”
They held each other's gaze for a sweet moment until a flurry of beige whisked past them, and Dazai attached himself to Kunikida’s side.
“Oooooh what’s in there for meee, Santa-kun?! A rope? A bomb? A suspicious green liquid to share?” Dazai tried to reach around Kunikida for his bag, but to no avail.
“Not a damn thing.” Kunikida said, despite reaching in for a gift. “You’re on the naughty list this year.”
“Oh!” Dazai held a hand to his chest and gave Kunikida an excited look. “Does that mean Santa has to punish me?”
“Santa’s going to beat the shit out of you if you don’t shut up.” He gritted out, shoving a gift to Dazai’s chest. There was a slight flush to his cheeks. “Merry Christmas. Get to work.”
Sigma and Atsushi’s eyes met again, and they broke into giggles as Dazai pouted and Kunikida walked off. They were still laughing when Kyouka appeared in front of them, two steaming mugs in her hands.
“Yosano and Ranpo made hot chocolate. I thought you two would want some.”
Atsushi took both mugs from her with a grateful nod. “Thank you, Kyouka!” He was delighted to see that they both already had marshmallows and whipped cream on top.
He extended a mug towards his new partner, a warm smile on his face.
“Merry Christmas, Sigma.”
Atsushi thought he seemed lighter now, some invisible weight taken off his shoulders. He was once again reminded of his first days at the agency, the warmth that bloomed in his chest each time it was proven he belonged there, was wanted there. He guessed now it was his turn to return the favor to others.
Sigma smiled back at him, taking the mug gladly.
“Merry Christmas, Atsushi.”