Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The great beast’s body lay still on the ground, appearing starkly out of place among the golden backdrop of the mid-autumn woods. 

Gon sat on the ground beside it, his body still trembling a little from the adrenaline of the fight. Faintly, he could feel blood oozing slowly out of a wound on his shoulder. 

Staring at the dead jabberwocky, he could hardly believe he’d managed to come out of that fight alive. He’d been in plenty of fights in his time, but none of his foes had been anything like that. The monster seemed almost more massive in death. Oddly, Gon was reminded of a time when he was a child and a dead whale had washed up on the shores of Whale Island. Back then, he thought he’d never see a creature larger than that whale.

Eventually, Gon mustered his strength and staggered to his feet, carefully picking up the vorpal sword from where it lay on the grass. There was something otherworldly about the sword, too; the blade had a pearlescent shine to it, like the inside of a mussel shell. He was sure that he wouldn’t have been able to kill the monster with any other weapon. Nothing else could have cut its skin.

Thank you, Gon thought to the sword, like he did every time it served him well. 

Following the burbling sound of moving water to a little stream, he cleaned off the blade. After that, he shrank it back down to travel-size and put it around his neck. 

Back in the clearing, he gingerly picked up the jabberwocky’s head by one long ear. The weight was considerable, but Gon was determined to carry it all the way back to the village to show everyone proof the jabberwocky was dead.

He was almost falling over by the time he made it to the first houses, and as he entered the village Noko came running up to him excitedly. 

“Gon! Gon! You killed it! You did it!”

Gon smiled at her—he’d set down the head to ruffle her hair, if only both his hands weren’t covered in blood. Most of it looked slicker and darker than human blood, an oily purple-black that mixed oddly with his own red blood that still ran down from his shoulder. 

“Thanks, Noko. Do you want to run ahead and tell the town?”

Noko was already skittering off, leaving him a little envious of her speed. He felt like his feet weighed a thousand pounds each, and he couldn’t wait to set down this horrible head.

And then, finally, he’d made it to the central part of town.

Gon let the head fall, clenching and unclenching his fist which felt stiff from carrying it for so long. All around him, people cheered, but he was listening for one voice in particular.

“Gon!” Mito ran to him, and hugged him tight. “My brave boy…”

For the first time in days, Gon was able to truly rest, and he leaned heavily into Mito’s shoulder. He shouldn’t let her take so much of his weight, but he was tired.

“Told you I could do it,” he said.

“I never doubted you,” Mito replied fiercely. He was pretty sure she was lying, but he appreciated the thought nonetheless. “I’m just so glad you’re okay…” After saying that, she pulled back slightly to inspect him, and let out a gasp. “Your shoulder!”

"Oh, it’s fine! It’s not deep.”

Unfortunately, he still had to get medical treatment before he could go to bed, which was all he wanted to do even though it was barely past four in the afternoon. At least he was pretty much half-asleep through the whole thing, so it didn’t hurt that much.

Afterwards, Mito insisted on walking with him up the stairs to his room, arm-in-arm, seeming to think he would fall if left unsupported. And she might’ve had a point. He barely remembered making it to his bed before the world fell away.

Gon wasn’t sure what woke him. Some imperceptible difference in the air, a cool breeze where there should’ve been none. A premonition. 

All he knew was that he opened his eyes in the dead of night, and there was a person standing in his room. 

Not his aunt Mito—he knew that instantly. This person was a stranger. 

Illuminated by the moonlight which streamed into the room, the stranger looked unearthly. His skin was corpse-pale, his hair like snow. He was like a living ghost. Gon saw the moment the stranger registered he was awake, as their eyes met, but still neither of them said a word for a frozen moment.

When Gon sat up in bed, the spell was broken.

“Get up,” the stranger commanded. 

Gon was already planning on doing that, his whole body tensing in preparation for a fight, but it rankled that it now appeared to be following this man’s orders.

When he got to his feet, he was displeased to see the other man was taller than him by a fair amount, though at least he looked to be around Gon’s age. 

“Who are you?” Gon demanded, though he kept his voice to a harsh whisper—he didn’t want to risk waking Mito right now. “What do you want from me?”

“Like I’d tell you my name so easily,” the stranger said, almost condescendingly. “As for what I want—you’ve killed my family’s dog, Gon Freecss. For that, you must pay.”

Now he was just confused.

“What?” Gon blurted, and winced at his volume. Continuing in a quieter voice, he said, “No. I wouldn’t kill a dog. You must be confusing me with someone else.”

“I found Mike’s body in the woods earlier and tracked the blood to this village,” the stranger replied. “You’re the talk of the town for killing him. Don’t try to deny it.”

“Wait, you mean the—the jabberwocky?” 

It did look a little like a dog, Gon supposed, but no normal dog was that large. Normal dogs didn’t have that many spikes or fangs—-normal dogs didn’t have oddly human hands. If that was a dog, it was a nightmare-mutant dog, and Gon couldn’t bring himself to feel bad for killing it, not when it had been terrorizing his town for days on end. 

“Some people call him that.”

And the stranger called that thing Mike…Gon had never even imagined the monster could have a name. 

“If he was your—” Gon went quiet, because quite suddenly there was a knife at his throat.

“No more talking,” the stranger said quietly. His eyes were cold and dead. Gon hadn’t even realized there was life in them until now, when none remained. “You’ll follow me outside and then I’ll tell you the price you’ll have to pay. Nod if you understand.”

Carefully, Gon nodded, but he thought of something else then. Clearly, he couldn’t fight back against this stranger, not yet—the speed with which he’d drawn the knife was frankly astonishing. Almost inhuman; Gon hadn’t even seen him move. He’d need to wait for some kind of opening. 

Besides, it was in his interest to take this fight away from Mito, so he’d go with him for now, but he refused to go outside while dressed only in his sleep shorts. 

Gon gestured silently down at his body, and the stranger followed the movement.

“Ah,” he said, instantly grasping what he meant. “Fine, you can change.” He took the knife away and rapidly twirled it in the air. “No funny business, though.”

“Sure,” Gon muttered, partially to test if he was allowed to say anything. The stranger didn’t react, so he relaxed minutely and turned his attention to his closet.

He didn’t know what the stranger wanted from him, but presumably he wouldn’t be killed right away, or it would’ve been simpler to just kill him right as he was waking up. He got dressed quickly, in a pair of sturdy pants and a tank top beneath his favorite green jacket. 

If he was going to die later, at least he’d be in comfortable clothing.

The stranger said nothing when he grabbed his backpack, either, so Gon filled it with handy bits and bobs like socks and first-aid supplies. Ideally, he wouldn’t need any of these things, but it never hurt to be prepared.

Gon grabbed a knife last, and feeling bold, he turned to look the stranger right in his eyes.

Unexpectedly, the man smiled lazily. “Go ahead. That won’t do any good against me.”

Gon stuck his tongue out at the man, annoyed at how obviously he underestimated him, though it was to his advantage. With the distraction of the knife, the stranger hadn’t even noticed him slip the miniaturized vorpal sword into a pocket of his backpack.

The stranger didn’t seem to take offense to his wordless insult, but his smile faded.

“Ready? Let’s go.” 

Gon was escorted down the stairs with the stranger at his back. He wasn’t sure if the knife was at his back, but if it wasn't now, it could be at any moment. Gon didn’t make a sound as they walked down the stairs and out the door, following the path out of town.

They kept walking like this until they were deep in the woods, and then the stranger said, “You can talk now.”

“Gee, thanks!” Gon said, his voice shockingly loud after the silence. Maybe it was dumb to push the stranger, but alone in the woods, confident that Mito was out of danger, he could finally let loose. “Are you going to tell me what the hell’s going on now?”

“Sure,” the stranger said. He moved out from behind Gon and took the lead, walking at such a brisk pace with his stupid long legs that Gon almost had to jog to keep up. At least there wasn’t a knife at his back anymore—still, he knew it would be a bad idea to try running.

It was easy enough for Gon to walk fast in these familiar woods at night, but for this stranger to be able to go at this pace without stumbling…it was annoying. Impressive, as much as he didn’t want to admit it. This guy could almost certainly outrun him. He needed to wait for an opportunity, a distraction of some kind, and maybe then he’d have a shot.

But couldn’t he just follow me back home? He knows where I live…and Mito is still sleeping.

Was Gon going to have to kill this guy? He didn’t want to be forced into that position, but what other choice did he have? If he attacks me first, it’s self-defense…but could I even beat him?

“Mike ran away a few weeks ago,” the stranger continued, oblivious to the mess of his thoughts. “I was sent in search of him, and I tracked him to this island, but I was too late to stop you from killing him.” He sighed heavily. “To think that someone like you was able to kill my family’s guardian beast…it’s baffling, truly.”

“Hey!” Gon objected, feeling a flare of irritation at his words. “I’m not weak.”

“Hm,” was all the stranger said, an impossible amount of condescension in one sound.

“I’ll fight you right now,” Gon said, in a real moment of stupidity; the next thing he knew, he was flat on his back on the ground, the man leaning over him with another dead smile, once again holding that deadly-looking knife at his throat.

“You were saying?”

He’d successfully provoked the stranger into a fight, technically, but could this even be called a fight? The guy had moved too fast for Gon’s eyes to follow, he was able to keep him on the ground effortlessly with one hand…Gon’s left arm was going numb from that vice-like grip.

He hated having to say it, but…

“Fine. You’re no match for me. Can you let me up now? Promise I’ll behave.” 

For now.

The stranger sprang away neatly, while Gon clambered much more inelegantly to his feet. As they began walking again, Gon asked, “What are you going to do with me?”

“Take you back to the family, what else?” The stranger shrugged. “They’ll have to punish you for this crime.”

Gon didn’t like the way he said that. There was a heaviness to his words that bled through his casual tone like blood through bandages. “But they won’t kill me?”

“Maybe. They might imprison you, or force you to work for them, if you’re lucky.”

“If I’m lucky? I don’t want to work for your family!” Gon knew it was futile to complain, but it made him feel a bit better to protest. “If they’re anything like you, they’re a bunch of jerks.”

The stranger’s face did a funny twitch then, like that statement had bothered him somehow. Gon relished the satisfaction of finally landing a blow, and quiet fell between them once more.

After another several minutes of walking, they reached a small beach. Gon was sure he knew the whole island, but this place felt oddly unfamiliar. The stranger reached into his pocket, then, and drew out a tiny wooden boat.

Before Gon could ask any questions, he tossed the boat onto the water, and impossibly it became a full-sized boat, big enough to fit both of them comfortably. 

“What—how?”

Sure, he had a magical shrinking sword, but the vorpal sword was a holy blade. He’d been under the impression there was nothing else like it. Watching the stranger treat this bizarre boat so casually, like it was nothing special to him…what kind of world did he come from?

“Shut up and get in,” the stranger said with a threatening glare.

Gon could tell he was pushing the limits of this guy’s patience, so he quietly obeyed.

Better not rock the boat too much, he thought. Haha…rock the boat. I bet this guy would go crazy if I started making jokes…he looks like he has no sense of humor. Well, he’d laugh if he saw me fall down the stairs, but aside from that.

Another weird thing about the magic-boat; it had no sails or oars, but it didn’t seem to need them. It just slipped through the water like it was something living, and perhaps it was.

Gon wasn’t going to risk asking any more questions now that he was trapped on a boat with this guy. He was keenly aware that the stranger could easily overpower him and toss him out into the ocean to drown far from shore, if he were so inclined. 

Though the stranger wasn’t paying attention to him anymore; he just stared out at the dark ocean with a contemplative sort of look. 

Briefly, Gon wondered what he could possibly be thinking about, before his thoughts turned to his aunt. Mito wouldn’t even know he was missing yet. When she woke up to find him gone, she’d probably assume he went out early to fish. How long would it take her to start worrying?

He wished he could’ve left a note or something…though, what would he have said?

Sorry, Aunt Mito, but I have to leave. It turns out that the jabberwocky I killed belonged to this scary family and now I have to go work for them as a punishment. Please try not to worry!

Maybe it was better that he hadn’t had the chance to leave a note.

Gon wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but it was very early morning when he woke up. The sun wasn’t yet peeking over the horizon, the sky was a serene gray-blue, the ocean was still and calm. All around them was drifting mist.

The stranger was still asleep, Gon realized with a jolt. He looked softer like this, in the early morning light. His white hair looked downy-soft, and Gon squashed the insane urge to reach over and touch it. That would be a really dumb way to die. 

And it’d be disrespectful, too. Mito had raised him better than that.

As if he felt Gon’s gaze on him, the stranger’s breathing hitched, and then his eyes opened. In the brighter light of almost-day, they were a startling blue, a shade lighter than the ocean.

The sleep-smoothness of his face vanished in an instant as he scowled, probably annoyed to see Gon had woken up before him.

“Good morning!” Gon chirped, just to make that scowl become deeper. If he were going to be forced into a life of hard labor or worse, he might as well have fun while he could. “Did you sleep okay, Mr. Stranger?”

“Don’t call me that,” the man complained. 

“What else should I call you?” Gon countered. “You know, it’s really unfair that you know my name and yet you won’t tell me yours.”

“Life is unfair. Deal with it.”

The boat started moving again, and for a while Gon was distracted looking out at the view. As the sun rose, the sky turned rosy and the sea shone with golden light, burning through the mist until the only color left was a vibrant blue all around.

Gon’s stomach growled in a request for breakfast, and he turned to the stranger expectantly, who rolled his eyes once he realized what Gon wanted.

“Are you my new dog?” He said. “A poor replacement for Mike, if you ask me.”

“Give me food,” Gon demanded. “Or I’ll be even more annoying.”

“So you are doing it on purpose!” The stranger pointed at him accusingly. “Just for that, I shouldn't give you any, but I guess I’ll be nice.”

The guy dug through his bag and pulled out what looked like dried strips of meat, though Gon had never seen any that were this dark purple color.

Gon almost choked on his first bite of the meat, which tasted almost rancid. He swallowed it with great effort, and then let his mouth gape open in disgust. “Gross!”

The stranger was nonchalantly chewing on his own strip like it wasn’t completely disgusting, looking at him with a too-innocent expression Gon didn’t buy for a second.

“Don’t you have anything else?”

“Nope,” he said, and tore off another piece with his teeth—were his teeth sharper than a normal person’s, or was Gon imagining it? “S’not that bad…you get used to it.”

“I don’t want to get used to it,” Gon muttered sullenly, but with no other choice, he kept picking away at the piece of meat, managing to eat most of it in the end.

Around midday, land appeared on the horizon. 

Gon squinted at it in disbelief, knowing that the ocean shouldn’t end so soon. He’d been to the mainland only twice, but he didn’t remember it looking like this, either. Blue-purple mountains rose up forbiddingly, appearing strangely blurred, like he was seeing them through mist.

“What is this place?”

“Nowhere you would know,” the stranger answered unhelpfully. He was leaning forward over the water, seeming impatient to get to shore, and as if the boat sensed his impatience it sped up, skimming rapidly over the water.

Once they landed, the stranger bent over and lifted one end of the boat. Gon was watching carefully this time, but he still couldn’t see how it went from a normal-sized boat to a tiny figurine that the stranger tucked back in his pocket.

There were only two things he was certain of. First, that the vorpal sword must’ve come from this land originally, because where else would it have originated from? Second:

“You know magic.”

Gon didn’t just mean the boat—he had a feeling the stranger could do far more than that.

“I guess you’d call it that,” he said.

“What do you call it?”

“There’s no singular word for it,” he replied, irritatingly vague. “The rules are just different here. I can’t explain it in a way you’d understand.”

“Okay, Mr. Scary Eyes, whatever you say.”

The stranger slanted a look back at him. “Don’t call me that.”

Gon gave him a little salute, and the stranger turned away, heading off at a brisk walk. Was he just going to leave Gon here? Experimentally, he stopped walking, but the stranger turned around to look back at him.

“Hey, follow me. You don’t want to get lost in these woods.”

Gon jogged a little to catch up, and then they walked side-by-side. It felt different than how they’d walked yesterday, with the stranger at his back or in front. Walking beside each other like this, he could almost pretend they weren’t enemies. He could almost forget the lurking threat of the knife and just focus on looking around this completely unfamiliar forest.

“It’s pretty here,” he said, admiring the foliage. He’d never seen leaves like this, all red-purple. Some were even bluish-black like raven feathers. “What happens if you get lost?”

“You’d get eaten, probably,” the stranger said. “There are all kinds of beasts in these woods.”

“Hm. Are they bigger than…the one I killed yesterday?”

It felt like longer than a day ago. For some reason he couldn’t even remember the name of the creature, what the stranger had called it or the other name. It kind of bugged him.

“Some of them.”

“What was his name?” He blurted. “Your…family dog.”

The stranger shrugged. “I don’t recall.”

That was weird. “And that doesn’t bother you?”

“No.”

Wait, what was his name? Why couldn’t he remember his own name?

“What’s my name? Please, can you tell me?”

“I can’t,” the stranger said, giving him an odd look. “I don’t remember it.”

“What’s going on?”

“Oh. I forgot you wouldn’t know…nothing in these woods has a name. Right now, that includes us. You’ll get it back later, so there’s no need to freak out about it.”

“So you can’t remember your own name, either?”

“That’s right.”

He didn’t understand why the stranger seemed so unbothered by it. He couldn’t remember the name of his aunt, who’d raised him. He couldn’t remember the name of the island he’d lived on all his life. It was wrong—it was unnatural. He felt like he’d missed a step on the stairs and tumbled straight into a deep hole.

“How can you be so casual about it?” He asked. “Names are important.”

“I disagree. A name doesn’t change who you are.”

“No, but—” he didn’t know how to say it. “It’s…what if I couldn’t find you? I’d want to shout your name. Or if I wanted to get your attention, or…I don’t know. They matter. Names show where you’re from. They connect you to your family. They’re given to you with love. Nobody names something they don’t care about.”

The stranger gave him an unreadable look before rolling his eyes. “How naïve,” he said. “A name isn’t proof of anything, let alone love.”

He didn’t know how to respond to that, so the conversation died. He wasn’t much in the mood for talking, anyway. The woods that had seemed so beautiful at first felt more like a trap. 

When they finally emerged from the dark woods onto a grassy plain, it was a relief.

Gon breathed in deep and repeated to himself: I am Gon Freecss, my mom is aunt Mito, I come from Whale Island. After he felt more settled, he couldn’t help looking over at the stranger, at this person who was still nameless to him.

There was something sad about not knowing the stranger’s name.

Gon wanted to ask again, but knew he’d be rebuffed. “Hey,” he said. “How old are you? I’m twenty—my birthday was in May.”

For a long moment he thought the stranger wouldn’t answer. 

“I’m also twenty,” he said at last.

“Oh, we’re the same age! Neat. When’s your birthday?”

“...July.”

“I’m older than you,” Gon realized. “Wow…you should really show more respect to your elders, Mr. Fluffy Hair!”

“Shut up,” he said irritably. “I regret saying anything. And stop with the nicknames!”

Gon grinned, in better spirits now that he remembered his name. Maybe his situation hadn’t changed, but he had a new sense of perspective now.

Their surroundings were so beautiful, too. As far as he could see were gentle rolling hills covered in wildflowers, especially poppies. The sky was a blue he’d never seen before, an eye-popping shade, and sunlight streamed down on them. 

He was abruptly reminded of Whale Island. It looked like home here, but the hills were ones he’d never seen before. The sight sent a bolt of excitement through him. He didn’t know what lay beyond the next hill, or what waited for them once the hills ended. 

Gon wanted to keep walking and find out. There was a spring to his step as they walked; he almost felt like whistling. 

It was weird, because technically the stranger was…kidnapping him? He didn’t feel like it, though. The guy hadn’t even threatened him for a while now; Gon was starting to doubt that he’d actually hurt him.

As they continued, he decided to discreetly test that by letting himself whistle a jaunty tune. He wasn’t off-key or anything, but it seemed like the sort of thing that would drive the stranger crazy regardless.

Except time went on, with a steady pattern of uphill-downhill, uphill-downhill, and the stranger didn’t say a word. He just glared steadily into the distance. Gon followed his gaze, but all he saw was a thick mass of faraway clouds that almost looked like a castle. 

Looking back at the stranger, he inexplicably felt pity for him. It was such a lovely day, and a nice walk, but he didn’t seem to be enjoying any of it. Maybe he’s homesick after being away.

“Are you excited to be returning home?” Gon asked him.

The stranger snorted. “No.”

Gon frowned—he’d half-expected the stranger to ignore his question entirely, but instead he’d received an answer that didn’t make sense. 

“Why not?”

Now the stranger was looking at him like he was stupid.

“I failed to do what they asked. I couldn’t find Mike before you killed him, so all I can do is bring you back to be punished in my place.” He looked down, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. “Fuck,” he muttered, low enough Gon could barely hear. “What the hell am I doing?”

Gon was stuck on the all I can do is bring you back to be punished in my place.

“Your family would…punish you?” Again, it didn’t make sense to him. “But you did your best to find Mike. It’s not your fault that I killed him.”

“It doesn’t matter!” He snapped, turning a venomous glare on him. “I don’t know why I’m talking to you about this, anyway. It’s none of your business. Just forget I said anything.”

“I mean, you kidnapped me to bring me to your family,” Gon reasoned. “So that kind of makes it my business.”

“And I regret doing it!” The stranger sighed, tilting his head back and pinching his forehead with one hand like all this was giving him a headache. “Look. As of now, you’re officially un-kidnapped. Go home, Gon.”

The stranger flicked something at him, and Gon caught it instinctively. It was the tiny wooden boat. 

“You know the way back from here, and if you could kill Mike then I’m sure you’ll manage to survive those woods. Throw the boat on the ocean and it will expand on its own. Think of home, and it will take you there.”

“But I…” Gon didn’t really know why he was protesting this. Wasn’t this what he’d wanted? He could go home now, and he’d never have to think about this experience again.

And leave the stranger to be punished by his family because of my mistake? If I hadn’t killed Mike, then none of this would’ve happened. In a way, if he got hurt, it would be my fault.

No, he couldn’t just go home. 

I’m sorry, Mito.

“What’s the matter?” The stranger frowned at him, standing with his arms crossed. “Leave. Get out of this cursed place.”

“Will you be okay if I leave?”

“I—” for once, the stranger appeared to be at a total loss. “Why the hell would you care? I’ve literally done nothing but threaten you and take you away from your home. Why should you care what happens to me?”

“But you never hurt me,” Gon pointed out. “You threatened to a lot, but that doesn’t count. You gave me food, and answered my questions even when you didn’t have to, and now you’re giving me a way home.”

“I’m just fixing my mistake! That doesn’t make me a good person!”

“And I killed your family’s dog,” he shot back. “That’s not a very good person thing to do. So why don’t you let me fix my mistake by helping you?”

“You’re impossible,” the stranger said, totally exasperated. 

Gon smiled. “Thank you!”

“It wasn’t a compliment. There’s something wrong with your brain.”

Gon kept smiling as he sat down on the ground, and looking up at the stranger, he issued a challenge. “Well, I’m not leaving. What are you gonna do about it?”

Truthfully, he had selfish motives too. He wasn’t ready to return home yet, even knowing that Mito would worry and the whole island would wonder what happened to him. Gon wasn’t ready for this adventure to end. It had been too long since he’d left home—and besides, it was exciting, journeying with this stranger.

Maybe he was being stupid, but he’d missed this feeling. This thrumming in his blood, the sense that anything could happen.

The stranger was at a loss again, swearing quietly to himself. Even though Gon wasn’t trying to provoke him anymore, it was kind of funny to see his stormy expression. After another half-minute, Gon’s attention was captured by the wildflowers scattered around him.

The poppies were intriguing in their appearance, because they looked like ones he was used to seeing on Whale Island, but they were slightly off in their color and scent. At this distance, their sweet smell was almost mesmerizing. 

Gon picked a blood-red poppy and lifted it to his nose to get a good sniff, only for his wrist to be seized in an iron grip. The stranger was crouched beside him.

“Put that down,” he said, his voice deadly serious.

Gon let it fall to the ground, perplexed but trusting from his voice that there was a reason. “Is there something wrong with it?”

While the stranger’s grip loosened, he held onto his wrist for long enough to yank Gon to his feet. Gon was strangely surprised to find his skin was as warm as any living human. It was a stupid thing to think—the stranger wasn’t some kind of ghost or demon.

I guess it’s a bad idea to get too close to the flowers?

“That flower would’ve put you to sleep for a hundred years,” the stranger said solemnly.

Wow! Not what he’d been expecting.

“That’s actually super cool!” Gon wondered how exactly that worked. “So does it freeze time around you, or would you still age and die normally?”

“You’d be frozen in time,” the stranger said, looking at him a little oddly.

“So cool…”

“You’re not going to sniff it on purpose now, are you?”

“No way. I don’t want to sleep for that long.”

The stranger seemed to relax, and as the moment passed Gon felt a pulse of pain in his wrist. Examining it, he found a reddish mark.

He poked it experimentally. “Ow.” 

“Shit,” the stranger cursed, blue eyes wide. “Sorry. I didn’t…are you okay?”

“All good!” Gon reassured him. “I’ve sprained my wrist before, and I’ve broken it twice, so I know it’s okay this time. Just a bruise.”

“That could’ve been a lot worse,” he said, still subdued.

“It wasn’t, though!” To distract from that, because it really was fine, Gon grinned and added, “You’re super strong, Mr. Mysterious Stranger! Maybe even stronger than me!”

It worked, because instantly there was a new light in his eyes. “I’m definitely stronger than you,” he bragged. “That’s not even in question.”

Distracted by the compliment, he didn’t even protest the nickname this time. As Gon started walking again, the stranger went with him, seeming to have given up, at least for now, on making Gon leave.

Which was good, because Gon had many questions for him, and not just about what the deal was with his family.

Now that he wasn’t focused on getting away, he found himself curious about this person; there were so many things he wanted to know. Like, how had the stranger been able to eat that horrible food earlier? What was his favorite food? What was his favorite color? What was the biggest monster he’d ever defeated?

In the end, it all started with this; he was tired of thinking of this guy as ‘the stranger.’ That felt so impersonal: not to mention it was impractical, no matter what the guy said about names not being important. 

And maybe it was inaccurate as well. Were they really still strangers at this point?

“Hey,” Gon said. “Since I’m not leaving, can you tell me your name now?”

The stranger seemed a bit taken aback to be asked that, almost abashed; like he’d expected Gon to just give up on wanting to know. 

“Does it matter?” He said half-heartedly.

“It does to me,” Gon said firmly. “I want to know.”

“It’s…Killua.”

“Killua,” Gon repeated. Theoretically, the guy could be lying, but somehow he knew that he wasn’t. It just felt right. Killua. “It’s a pretty name. It suits you!”

“Shut up, Gon,” Killua snapped, turning quickly away, but he couldn’t hide the redness on his ears. 

Killua is easily embarrassed, he thought. Hm. This could be fun!

Chapter Text

As the days went on, Gon badgered Killua incessantly with questions: a few of which he answered easily, some of which he dodged, and others he gave a silent glare in response to, the kind of look that said shut up. 

Whenever that happened, Gon backed off instantly, not wanting to scare Killua away. It wasn’t like Killua had to tolerate his presence, after all…though he didn’t seem to mind his new traveling companion. Maybe Killua had been lonely by himself.

How long until we reach your family’s house? 

That was one of the first questions Gon asked, and though Killua told him right away, his answer didn’t make any sense. 

“Depends,” he said. “Probably…around two weeks? But it might be up to a month—or possibly even longer, if we fall into any traps. Though if I manage to find us a shortcut, then we might reach Kukuroo mountain in just a day, so…it varies.”

Kukuroo mountain…that’s a cool name.

“This place seems to operate on dream-logic,” Gon complained, which actually made Killua laugh, a shocking and lovely sound. Immediately, he wanted to hear more of it.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

On another day, as they wandered through a strange and beautiful forest of glass trees, Gon asked what Kukuroo mountain was like.

“Cold,” Killua answered. “All the time…we get a lot of snow.”

“Wow! That’s so cool. I’ve only seen snow once before, on the mainland. Whale Island’s a bit too warm for it.”

“How old were you when you left?”

It was one of the first personal questions Killua had asked him, and he felt happy to see him take interest. “I was twelve,” he replied. “I went to the mainland in search of Ging.”

Killua tilted his head. “Who’s that?”

“Right, you wouldn’t know…Ging’s my dad! I never knew him, growing up. I heard stories about him being an adventurer, and it made me curious about him. I guess I wanted to know what about the mainland was so amazing that he could leave his own son behind.”

“Yikes. That’s pretty grim.”

Gon laughed. “Yeah, it didn’t really…work out for me.” Years later, it only hurts a little to think back to how it ended. “I never found him in the end, and I hurt myself pretty badly trying. But it wasn’t all bad—I learned the art of the sword, and a lot of other things too. I also made some really amazing friends.”

I wonder how Kurapika and Leorio are doing lately? It’s been a while since we’ve caught up…after all this is settled, I should reach out.

“Let’s stop for lunch,” Killua announced, guiding him toward an outcropping of rock. There were bushes surrounding it, with these weird-shaped yellowish fruits on them. 

“Those are edible?” Gon questioned as Killua started picking them.

“No, I’m going to poison you,” he said dryly. “They’re pretty good—called sandfruit. We should dry some of them out, they’ll be good for weeks that way.”

“Cool.”

Gon helped him pick fruit, and then they both settled back on the warm rock to eat. Sandfruit was pretty good. It kind of tasted like mango combined with banana, but the texture reminded him of watermelon.

After he gave up on getting the sticky juice off his fingers, he leaned back on his hands to look up at the sky, basking in the warm sunlight. It was a really lovely afternoon; only a few clouds drifted in the sky, which today was the pale greenish blue of the tropical ocean.

“What are your friends like?”

Gon looked back down to smile at Killua, glad to see another sign of interest. 

“Well, Kurapika is very smart and serious. He’s on an important mission of justice, so he never had much time to hang out, but he’s a good person to have on your side. And then Leorio is studying to be a doctor! He’s got a unique sense of humor, and he’s very kind…they both are, actually. Just good people.”

“Then there’s Zushi…I’m not as close with him, but he’s a great fighter! I learned some useful tricks from him. And Palm. You probably wouldn’t get along with her, but she’s a really loyal friend.”

Who else? Come to think of it, he didn’t have many people he was actually close to, enough to still be in touch all these years later. Though it was an interesting exercise to list everyone out, so he kept going.

“I guess I’m also friends with Knuckle and Shoot, and then there’s Zepile, though he’s more of Leorio’s—”

“Jeez, that’s enough,” Killua interrupted. “How do you even make that many friends? You’re such a freak.”

Gon had to laugh—the weirded-out look on Killua’s face was too funny. “Hey, it’s not that hard! I’m a friendly guy. But it’s not like I’m close to all of them, either…it’s been years since I’ve seen most of them.”

Ever since everything that had happened at the end of his last adventure, Mito had been reluctant to let him off the island again. He’d finished school at home and easily found work as a fisherman once he’d graduated, though he’d always wanted more than that.

He left that unsaid, letting silence take over. With how much he enjoyed Killua’s company, it was easy to forget that they still barely knew each other. Gon didn’t want to dump his whole life story in one sitting and scare him off.

They sat in peaceful quiet for a while after that, the only sound the eerie whistling of wind through the twisted glass trees. Though it was unlike anything he’d ever heard, it was a lovely sound, like some odd musical instrument was being played.

“It’s funny,” Killua said. “I left home when I was twelve, too.”His mouth twisted into a frown as if he was seeing something much less pleasant than the crystal sky. “At least, I tried to.”

Gon blinked, startled at the admission. “Did you run away?”

After a moment, he nodded. “It was a pretty sad attempt. I was caught before I could even make it across the plains. I should’ve waited until I had a better plan…I was punished for months after that. If I’d just—”

Killua cut himself off, looking off into the distant hazy mountains with a scowl. Clearly, the memory of his failed escape still cut at him, even after eight years. Gon wondered why he never tried to leave after that—or maybe he had, and it had just ended in another failure.

It hurt to think about Killua trying to leave over and over, so he hoped it hadn’t been like that. Maybe there was something at home worth staying for. More than that, he wished…

“I wonder what it would’ve been like if we’d somehow met back then,” Gon said, thinking aloud. “When we were both twelve.”

“...That would’ve been nice.” Killua’s contemplative expression turned into a smirk. “No, I take that back—it would’ve been a disaster. If you’re this stupid now, I hate to imagine how insane you must’ve been as a kid.”

“I wasn’t…” Gon can’t defend his past self here, actually. “Whatever! I still think we would’ve had a good time together.”

“You’re so sappy,” Killua huffed, looking away.

“Hm, but you didn’t deny it!”

“It’s about time we got moving again,” he said, standing up abruptly.

“Okay!” 

After the stark reminder of how much they sucked, Gon wanted to ask if they really needed to go see Killua’s horrible family, or if they could just…not do that. He knew by now, though, that a question like that would just make Killua shut down. 

Still, it made Gon happy that Killua was opening up to him a little. After just a few days of getting to know each other, it was clear that the scary stranger who’d kidnapped him initially was far from the truth of Killua. 

By now, he might even call them friends.

Presumably, humans lived here somewhere, but they didn’t run think any other people on their travels: though they did encounter plenty of monstrous-looking creatures. Gon's favorite might’ve been the mome-raths, which had the funniest little noses. Those were pretty shy, running away from them instantly, but other creatures were more aggressive.

Only they never had any problems with the aggressive creatures, because whenever one looked like it might try to attack, all Killua had to do was glare the animal down and it would turn tail and run. Gon always kept his vorpal sword necklace around his neck, tucked under his shirt, but he never had to use it. Every time, Killlua had the situation totally handled.

Maybe that sort of ice-cold aura should’ve made Gon wary of his traveling companion, but he just found it amazingly cool.

By the seventh day of traveling with Killua, Gon had almost gotten used to the general weirdness of their surroundings. 

As a default rule, everything here was beautiful yet deadly, and nothing was quite what it seemed. He found himself thinking that this land was a lot like Killua in a way; it made sense somehow that a place like here had created him.

Often the sky was a weird color too, and today was no exception—above them stretched an expanse of rosy-gray-white, almost like a forest fire haze but with more saturated colors.

They were walking through a canyon, as this was apparently the most direct route. Gon was going at a slower pace than Killua was happy with, but he couldn’t help stopping occasionally to admire the rocky walls of the canyon. Unlike the usual red-orange-yellow-brown of the canyons he’d seen on the mainland, these rocks were red and orange and purple and pink and blue, like a crazy sunset—he’d never seen anything like it.

“Come on,” Killua urged for the tenth time, tapping his foot. “We need to make it out of here before the sun falls below the canyon walls.”

“It’s not that late,” he said, but when he looked at the sun, it was way lower in the sky than he expected. “The sun is moving too quickly!”

“Time isn’t consistent here, remember?” 

Killua had told him that a few times before, whenever he’d expressed confusion on how time seemed to be moving weirdly. Gon still wasn’t used to it, though. 

After picking up the pace, they reached the end of the canyon, and they managed to make it about halfway up the narrow set of stairs leading up the cliff when the sun abruptly went away.

“Shit,” Killua said succinctly. 

For some reason, although the sun was gone, he could still see his friend, along with everything around them. It was all just…kind of distorted, and grayish, as if he were seeing the world through a veil.

“Usually there’s more time,” Killua grumbled, glaring up at the sky. “Weird…oh. Fuck, this better not be what I think it is.”

“Stop being cryptic and explain it!”

“Stop being impatient,” he countered. “I was just getting there. Gon, you’re new to this place. It doesn’t know you, and it’s been observing you this whole time, weighing your character. I think…and I might be wrong, but most likely it’s setting up a test for you.”

“Oh. Um…” Gon didn’t know what to say to that. “Are you saying this place is sentient?”

Killua half-shrugged and kept walking up the stairs, so Gon followed him. “Well, it’s not sentient like you or me, but there is a degree of consciousness.”

Gon gave up on questioning Killua after that, knowing by now that any further explanation would probably just make him more confused.

When the stairs ended, they both stepped out onto a…it looked just like a chess board. Black and white squares, perfectly even. Each square was about the size of a small house, and scattered across the whole board was a series of bizarre stone statues. Many of the statues were somewhat humanoid, but each one had enough animal traits to become something entirely monstrous and strange.

“Great, not this shit again,” Killua muttered.

“Wow,” was all Gon could say, looking around at everything. “Uh. I don’t need to know the rules of chess, do I…? Because that would be pretty unfair.”

“This place has never cared about fairness,” Killua scoffed, “but no. That won’t be necessary.” He paused. “One more thing before we start. This is your test, not mine, so I won’t be allowed to assist you. Whatever that looks like, don’t be alarmed. Keep moving forward no matter what—just focus on your own progress. Do that, and you’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” He had no idea what Killua was talking about, honestly, but the words made him uneasy. “But you’ll be okay, right?”

The look Killua gave him after that was almost pitying. “Worry about yourself, Gon.”

Message received.

They stepped forward together onto the first square, and immediately Killua was yanked into the air by an unknown force.

“Killua!” Gon shouted in alarm.

His friend stopped rising at some point, but then he vanished into a mass of low-lying clouds. 

I really hate this.

Gon stared up at the clouds where Killua presumably was, wishing there was some way he could see him. After a minute of this, he forced himself to move on. Killua had pretty much said that he’d be fine, and Gon needed all his focus for the unknown task ahead of him.

He walked slowly across the rest of the first square, expecting to spring some trap any second, but nothing happened in the end. The only weird thing was that he felt compelled to keep moving straight ahead; when he experimentally tried to walk to the square to the left, his legs wouldn’t move. A bit creepy, but like Killua said, he just had to keep moving forward. 

As he stepped forward onto the second square, he was instantly swallowed up by a sudden dense fog. 

It was completely noiseless in the fog; still, Gon sensed movement all around him, tiny ripples in the air, and he was forced to dodge to avoid the unknown things. Luckily, he had quick reflexes, or he might’ve been doomed. He kept moving forward the whole time, until at last the fog cleared, vanishing as suddenly as it had arrived. 

He’d made it to the third square.

“This is fun,” Gon grumbled, and he paused out of habit, waiting for a response that didn’t come. He’d really come to rely on his traveling companion, and for much more than just navigating the rules of this strange place. Gon felt lonely without him. 

“I miss you, Killua.”

He felt silly for saying it, since it had only been a few minutes since they’d seen each other—or had it? No, he was not going to think about the time thing now! He had to keep moving forward and pass this stupid test.

After another few squares that alternated between underwhelming nothingness and weird shit, Gon encountered his first real obstacle when he stepped onto a square with a statue for the first time.

This statue was a sort of centaur, but not like any kind he’d heard of before. It was massive in size, taking up most of the square, and had two pairs of feathered wings. The head was fiercely inhuman, and out of one bulging shoulder emerged a second face.

Creepy, he had time to think, before something bizarre happened.

The statue seemed to come to life, color spreading over the stone until the whole thing was alive, and looking at Gon like he was nothing more than an ant to him.

“Huh,” the former statue grunted. “You don’t look like much.”

It was true that for someone that big, he probably didn’t come across as very threatening. Hopefully he could use that to his advantage.

“My name is Gon,” he said. “What’s yours?”

“Menthuthuyoupi.”

Wow, that was a mouthful. Gon didn’t want to admit this to the guy, but the name almost immediately left his head. He decided to mentally dub him Youpi.

“Okay,” he said. “I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but I’m assuming you won’t let me go past.”

Youpi grinned, showing off a wide row of uncannily sharp teeth. “Nope. You’ll have to defeat me in a fight before you can go on.”

“What are the rules?”

“We have the whole board,” Youpi said. “Step outside it and you’ll be forced to turn back. We’ll fight to the death. Aside from that, no rules.”

At least that was simple enough. 

“Okay,” he said. “I’m—”

Youpi charged at him without warning, and Gon dodged to the side. So the fight’s already started, then. Fine by me!

Gon was faster than Youpi, luckily, who still moved like he was made of stone. He took advantage of this to run away to a distant corner of the board and pull the vorpal sword from around his neck, where it expanded back into its true size in his hand.

He felt immediately better having a familiar weapon in hand, and he charged back into the fight. Sliding under Youpi’s body, he stabbed upwards at the statue’s stomach. Youpi evaded most of the attack by flying into the air—no fair—but the blue blood dripping down Gon’s blade gave him a sense of satisfaction. 

Though it was a little weird this guy had blood—wasn’t he a statue?

There was no time to think about it, because Youpi was out for his blood. It soon became obvious that Youpi’s main strategy could be summed up as, stomp the little human to death. While Gon was able to dodge most of the attacks with his superior speed, he couldn’t avoid them all. He felt increasingly bruised as the fight went on, while his attacks seemed to be doing little damage. Youpi might bleed, but whatever he was made of, the vorpal sword struggled to cut deeper than a few inches into it.

I need to end this quickly. If he breaks my leg, it’s over.

It was just luck that he hadn’t broken anything already—he might’ve been built tough, but he couldn’t put up with this kind of treatment forever.

As Youpi charged forward again, Gon held his ground as the statue approached, and then jumped. He landed on Youpi’s back, quickly grabbing his weird head-horn to prevent the statue from bucking him off. Youpi still tried, but Gon held on tight, even as he was shaken around enough to make his teeth rattle in his skull.

“Obnoxious little creature,” Youpi growled. “Get down from there!”

“Sorry, but no thanks,” Gon said, and then he stabbed Youpi’s neck with all his strength. 

Blood spurted out like a fountain, and Youpi bellowed, falling to his knees. The motion knocked Gon off, sending him flying to the other end of the square. He managed to keep a grip on his sword even then, and he got to his feet as fast as he could, readying himself for another attack.

Only Youpi wasn’t getting up, and blue blood streamed steadily from his neck.

Gon stayed a careful distance back and kept his hand on his sword, just in case. All that happened, though, was that Youpi fell over completely with a massive THUD, and then…he began to shrank?

As Gon slowly walked forward, it became clear that Youpi was rapidly compressing in size. For a moment he thought the statue would shrink into nothing, but eventually Youpi’s body settled at around the size of a stuffed animal. 

Youpi seemed to be made of stone again, and along with that, his features had changed. Now he was just a little guy with mini wings and a kind of helmet. With proportionally big eyes and a head that was large for his small body, he almost looked cute.

“This is so weird,” Gon said quietly. “Hey, Youpi?” As he expected, there was no response. “Okay. I guess I won…”

After another moment, he reached forward hesitantly and picked Youpi up to settle him back on his feet—it just felt disrespectful, somehow, to leave him lying on the ground. The statue remained standing on its own and didn’t come to life again to yell at him for moving it, so he figured it was fine.

“Bye, Youpi,” Gon said with a wave, and then he moved on.

That wasn’t too bad, he thought. Though his whole body felt bruised, he’d managed to avoid any broken bones. If he had to, he could fight again—and he probably would have to, so it was lucky he hadn’t been badly injured.

Gon briefly looked up at the cloud where Killua was presumably hiding and offered it a quick thumbs-up, just in case his friend could see him. “Don’t worry,” he said, though he doubted Killua could hear him from all the way up there. “I got this!”

The next few squares were blessedly empty, and then he was in another statue square.

This time, he wasn’t surprised when the statue came to life.

Unlike the last statue, this one was the height of a normal person, though annoyingly he was still a lot taller than Gon. He was mostly humanoid, but had big rainbow butterfly wings, along with what looked like ant antennae on his head. 

This statue seemed content to stare at him disapprovingly, so Gon decided to speak first.

“Hi,” he said. “I’m Gon. What should I call you?”

For a few awkward seconds, Gon thought the statue wouldn’t answer, but finally he said, “If you must, you may refer to me as Shaiapouf.”

“Okay, nice to meet you Shaiapouf!” Gon smiled, though internally he was thinking, another bizarre name. I’ll think of him as Pouf. “Let me guess, I have to defeat you in a fight before I can move forward.”

“You must have already defeated Menthuthuyoupi,” Pouf said. “Though I see he’s left his mark on you.” His eyes narrowed. “If you’re expecting another simple contest of strength, I’m afraid I must disappoint you, Gon.”

Pouf smiled, suddenly—it was a horrifying expression, one that twisted his entire face. “Catch me if you can!”

Just like that, he vanished in a cloud of glitter. Poof.

What the hell?

The twinkling cloud of particles that Pouf had turned into was already scattering all over the place, dispersing across the board, and he had no idea what he was supposed to do next.

He was expecting another fight; he’d prefer a fight over this nonsense.

Without any better idea, Gon decided to just keep walking. After he’d passed a couple of squares, another mass of fog started to settle in all around him. He didn’t know if it was localized to his area or if it affected the whole board, but it didn’t actually matter which option it was. Either way, he couldn’t see the path ahead.

He still couldn’t take any turns, but he couldn’t see where he was going either. It was an isolating feeling; he was completely trapped. If only he weren’t alone…

“I miss the sun,” he said aloud to nobody. Maybe this was pathetic, but it made him feel a bit better to imagine Killua could hear him. “This fog sucks…I don’t even know what time of day it is. Maybe it’s night by now, who knows.”

Gon looked up, not that he could see Killua’s cloud with the fog obscuring his view. “I hope you’re doing okay up there, Killua.”

I could really use your help right now, he thought, unable to bring himself to say it. I don’t know what to do…but you always know what to do in any situation. What would you do right now, Killua?

“GON!”

The voice stopped him in his tracks, because he’d know it anywhere. 

“Gon! Are you there?”

“Mito!” Gon yelled back, looking around wildly. Stupid fog, he couldn’t see shit. “Where are you? I can’t see you!”

“Over here!”

Luckily, the sound of her voice came from directly ahead, so he was able to follow it. His head was spinning as he sped up into a fast walk. How did she even get here? “Keep talking! Tell me how you got here.”

“Okay,” Mito’s voice replied, sounding a little shaky. “But I don’t really know what happened, Gon. I went into the woods, looking for you, and then there was this…this fog, and somehow I ended up here. I know it must sound insane, but that’s all I can tell you.”

“I believe you,” Gon said, breaking into a run—her voice was getting louder, closer. The next moment, the fog cleared, and then he could see her.

 “Mito!”

His aunt was trapped in a twisted cage made out of thick vines, with smaller vines entangling her body to restrict her movement even further.

Gon felt like he could snap in half, torn between fury and relief to see her unharmed. “One second! I’ll get you right out of there.”

“Thank you, Gon.”

As he started hacking away at the cage with the vorpal sword—these vines were surprisingly tough—he had the realization that he’d have to leave Killua after this. 

There was no way he wouldn’t accompany Mito on the journey home; this place was too deadly. Gon knew how to fight, and he still would’ve been killed by now if not for his steadfast traveling companion.

It made him sad to think about leaving Killua, though…maybe they’d only known each other for a week, but they got along so easily that it felt like they’d been together for much longer.

If only there were some way…wait! That’s it!

With one more slice, the last of the vines fell away, and he yelled in triumph. “Yeah! Now hold still, I’ll free your hands.”

“Of course.”

“And, um…” 

Gon had to go slower at this part, to make sure he didn’t accidentally hurt his aunt. It didn’t help that the vorpal sword was too large to be suited for the delicate task. This would be so much easier if he still had his pocket knife, but unfortunately it had been completely destroyed by a fire-breathing lizard-thing a few days ago.

“Can my friend stay with us for a while?” Gon asked, pausing in his work to glance up at her face. “His name is Killua. He looks kind of scary, but he’s actually a great guy. I wouldn’t have made it this far without him.”

Some expression flickered across Mito’s face, there and gone so quickly he might’ve imagined it. He must have, because it looked for just a second like she was sneering, and she would never look at him like that.

Mito’s expression now was gentle as she smiled at him and said, “Sure. If he’s your friend, then that’s a testament to his character.”

“Thanks, Mito!”

After another minute, her hands were freed, and he was struck with the sudden thought that it had been a while since Pouf had poofed.

“I wonder where that guy went,” he said to himself, turning to look around the board. With the exception of Killua’s lone cloud, the fog seemed to have totally dissipated, so he could see all the way across—yet there was no sign of the statue. 

How do I even find someone who can turn himself into tiny particles? That’s so not fair.

Though he supposed it didn’t actually matter at this point; since he was going home with Mito now, he’d just be turning back anyway.

Before he could turn back to tell Mito more about this place, a sharp bust of pain in his side made him gasp. What?

For a second, he thought it might be a hunger pain, but it didn’t feel like one. And his back hurt, too. The pain reminded him of the one time he’d stepped on a massive thorn; something was in him that shouldn’t be.

Then the thing was abruptly torn out, and it hurt even more. 

Gon’s legs folded under him. As he crashed to the ground, his hand went to his stomach instinctively, and he felt the warm-wetness of blood. 

Oh, he realized belatedly. I’ve been stabbed.

“That looks painful,” Mito said, and he looked up to see her standing over him. One of her hands was holding a knife as she smiled cruelly, an expression he’d never seen her make. It was so wrong to see it on her face. 

“You’re not Mito,” he said, feeling cold spread through his body.

Mito’s form twisted, becoming longer and sharper, until it was Pouf who stood before him, an unimpressed look on his face.

“At long last, he catches on,” Pouf said. “And here I was, thinking you’d put up more of a challenge…oh well.”

Gon gritted his teeth and stood up, the world swaying under him briefly with the motion. “I’m not done yet.”

“On the contrary, I estimate you have an hour left to live.” Pouf smiled thinly, a spark of glee in his eyes. “I wonder what will kill you first…will it be blood loss, or the poison?”

He swung forward with his sword, but the motion was slower than usual. Pouf danced backwards, dodging it with ease.

“I’m not going to die before I see Killua again,” Gon said. “Get out of my way.”

His hands were shaking, and he wondered if the poison was already taking effect, or if it was just shock. Just a few moments ago, he thought he’d be heading home with his aunt, and now he didn’t know what would happen.

Pouf stepped to the side, watching him with a sort of amused pity. “What a silly creature you are,” he commented. “Consider this challenge over. You’re free to continue onward—until your inevitable death, of course.”

Gon wanted to say something rude in return, or better yet, take another swing at the guy. While he’d kind of respected Youpi, even feeling somewhat relieved when the statue hadn’t actually died, he wished it was possible to kill Pouf. 

Even if it was possible, he couldn’t possibly fight in his current condition. All his energy was needed just to keep walking, so he stuck his tongue out at Pouf and turned away, forcing himself to not look back. It felt horrible to put his back to an enemy right after being literally stabbed in the back; he was half-expecting another sneak attack, but none came.

After a few minutes, he glanced back to see that Pouf was once again just a statue.

Gon felt reassured by the sight, and stopped briefly at the next square—another empty one—to change his heavy sword back into necklace form and bandage his wound. He probably should’ve patched it up instantly, but he couldn’t even do a good job with the bandaging thanks to the position of it.

Once again, he wished Killua could be here—and at the same time, he kind of hoped his friend couldn’t see him. It was shameful how easily he’d fallen for Pouf’s trap.

That guy can go to hell. Most annoying statue I’ve ever met, by far.

Looking back, Youpi seemed pleasant in comparison. He was straightforward, at least, and there was a kind of honor to him, while Pouf seemed to take pleasure in lies and deceit.

At the very least, it was a relief to know his aunt was still safe at home. Gon hated that Pouf had used her form like that, though. He didn’t think he’d ever forget the image of her standing over him with a knife and that twisted expression on her face. 

Gon had been hoping that Pouf lied about the deadly poison thing, but the longer he walked, the worse he felt. Every step made pain radiate out from the wound, and as time went on, he felt increasingly warm and foggy, like he had a fever. He probably did.

“I’ll be okay,” Gon muttered to himself. “I’ll be fine. I can’t die here. Have to see Killua.”

Eventually, as he stumbled onto another new square, his legs just gave out on him. The cool white marble felt nice on his too-warm skin, and he turned his head to press his cheek into it.

He knew he should get up, but that was too much energy. In the end, he couldn’t help closing his eyes.

I’m sorry, Killua, he thought, resigned. I wish I could’ve helped you with your family. And I wanted to travel with you for longer…but I guess I’m too weak to stay by your side.

Gon hated letting his friends down more than almost anything—it made him feel worse than trash, but that still wasn’t his biggest regret. The worst thing about all of this was that Mito would think he’d left just like Ging had, abandoning her without even saying goodbye. 

It’s not fair! I refuse to do that to her.

Gon opened his eyes with some effort, determined to…do something. If he just tried harder, there had to be—a person, crouching in front of him?

“Killua!” Gon blurted, feeling joy flood through him upon seeing that familiar white hair.

“Ah, nope,” said an unfamiliar voice. “I’m Neferpitou, but you can call me Pitou if you’d like! And you are Gon.”

Gon blinked hazily, and with a great force of will he managed to push himself into a sitting position. His injury didn’t even hurt anymore, really…probably a bad sign, but whatever. And now that he had a better view of this person, he had no idea how he’d managed to mistake them for Killua.

The fluffy white hair was the only real similarity. With his delicate features, Killua was a little androgynous, but Gon didn’t have a single clue as to what Pitou’s gender was. Their eyes were totally different, too, a weird red-yellow gradient, entirely different from Killua’s blue—and then there were the cat ears. And tail.

“You’re a statue,” Gon realized, trying to blink the fog away. Fuck, I can hardly think.

“Sometimes,” Pitou said, seeming amused; or maybe that was their default expression.

“How’d…you know my name?”

“I’m a good listener, even when my ears are stone.” Pitou smiled playfully. “You really gave Youpi the run-around! I had a great time watching that fight.”

“Uh…thanks?”

Pitou reached out and booped his nose with their cat-like hand. “You’re welcome! Actually, how’d you like a little reward for winning?”

“Huh?” It was getting more difficult to formulate words; he could barely keep his eyes open.

“Since that fight was the most entertainment I’ve gotten in years,” Pitou continued. “You wouldn't believe how dull it usually is around here, meow. Most people who pass by this section get killed by Youpi pretty quick, and the ones who make it past him always get killed by Pouf—would you believe that you’re the first person I’ve gotten to talk to in literal ages?”

Maybe that was why Pitou seemed determined to talk his ears off.

“What’s…reward?”

That was all he could grasp from what they’d said, but he didn’t think the rest mattered.

“I’ll heal you,” Pitou said casually. “That poison’s no match for me. What do you say, Gon?”

“Yes.”

Gon didn’t really remember what happened after that, but when he blinked his eyes open, he had a vague recollection of a strange woman’s face looming over him. Or maybe a doll…it didn’t matter, because as he sat up, he felt totally better.

When Gon glanced at where he was injured, the only indication of a wound was the bloody hole in his shirt. He jumped to his feet and bounced on his toes a few times, reveling in how light he felt. Best of all, he could think clearly again.

“Pretty cool, meow?”

Gon bowed his head gratefully. “Your ability is amazing! Thank you, Pitou.”

Pitou preened. “I know, I am amazing.”

Gon remembered quite suddenly what he’d been doing before almost dying. He had to make it to the end of the board, and these weird statue-people-creatures were meant to test him. He’d fought Youpi; Pouf had nearly killed him; but all Pitou had done so far was heal his would-be fatal wound. There was only one square left after this one, too, so this would likely be his final test. It couldn’t be this easy, could it?

“I’m very grateful,” he said. “But aren’t you going to…test me now?”

Pitou snapped their fingers. “That’s right! I can’t let you continue until you purrove your worth.”

Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything…

They pointed their arm into the sky, and Gon followed the motion with his eyes, frowning when he saw that they seemed to be pointing at the cloud Killua had vanished into at the start.

And then, as Pitou made a sort of yanking motion, that same cloud was rapidly pulled closer to them. In just a few seconds, it was hovering close to Pitou, around a dozen feet in the air.

“What,” Gon started to say, but he lost his words when the cloud disappeared. Killua was clearly in sight, suspended in the air by some kind of magic just barely out of reach.

“Killua!” He yelled. “Can you hear me?”

Killua gave him a thumbs-up and started to say something in reply. At least, Gon was reasonably sure he was saying something, since his mouth was moving, but he couldn’t hear a word of it.

“I can’t hear you,” Gon interrupted, and Killua shut his mouth at once, looking cross. It made him smile to see that familiar expression of irritation, the last of his lingering worry vanishing now that he could see Killua was okay. “But I’m almost done, and then we can talk again.”

Killua gave a small nod, looking tense, and Pitou glanced between the two of them with an unidentifiable expression before they smiled wide. “Aw, how cute! You really care about this guy, meow?”

Gon was hesitant to confirm it, but from how Pitou was asking, they already knew. “Yeah.”

Pitou made another waving motion, causing Killua to drift lower, and then they reached forward lightning-fast to grab the side of Killua’s neck. Blood welled up from one dug-in claw, but even as it started to roll down his neck, Killua just gazed back at Pitou with an unimpressed expression. 

“Hey!” Gon snapped. “Stop it!”

“He doesn’t mind,” Pitou said nonchalantly. Turning to Killua, they asked, “Do you?”

“He can’t fucking say anything!” Gon’s heart was in his throat—it was probably unwise to yell at Pitou, but he didn’t care. He had to do something. “Let go of him,” he said. “Please.”

Slowly, Pitou withdrew their hand. “So polite,” they commented.

Gon still couldn't breathe easily as he watched the statue, waiting for their next move. The statue was completely unpredictable in their actions, and moved with terrifying speed. Most likely, they could slit Killua’s throat before Gon could even draw his blade, if they wanted.

Beyond that, he had a bad feeling about his chances in a fight. Killua didn’t seem capable of any large movements, either, which meant he’d be entirely on his own.

What should I do? What are they going to do next?

Gon didn’t know what he was expecting Pitou’s next move to be, but it wasn’t for them to delicately lick Killua’s blood off their claw.

“You’re disgusting,” Gon said, completely taken aback. “What are you doing?”

Once again, Killua didn’t even seem to mind, giving Gon a strange look for his reaction.

“Mm,” Pitou said, entirely ignoring his question. “That distinct taste of poison. Zoldyck blood…aha! I thought you looked familiar,” they said, whirling around to address Killua. “Though you were a lot smaller and squishier the last time I saw you. That would’ve been…what, ten years ago meow?”

Killua had come here when he was ten?

In the air, Killua shrugged slightly and gave Pitou a pointed glare. Stop asking me questions when I can’t respond, you fucking asshole cat, he said without speaking.

“Oh, I suppose I’ll get to the point,” Pitou said, turning back to face Gon. “You’ve told me you care about Killua, and that seems clear enough. But tell me, Gon. How much do you care?”

Gon frowned at them. “I don’t know how you expect me to define that? He’s my friend.”

“Would you die for him? 

What? What kind of question is that?

“I could kill him very easily, y’know,” Pitou teased—as if they weren’t all aware of that. Fucking bastard. “He’s quite helpless in my domain.” They cocked their head, looking at Gon challengingly. “What’s stopping me?”

Rage drowned out all conscious thought—the next thing he knew, he was holding the vorpal sword. The blade pointed right at Pitou, who stared at the blade with a fascinated delight.

“I’ll kill you,” he promised. “It would be the last thing you ever do.”

Gon hadn’t actually killed a person before. He doubted Pitou even counted as a person, but he didn’t care either way. If they took Killua’s life, then they would deserve death at his hands. He knew he was outmatched, but he wouldn’t let them get away with it—even if it killed him.

For several seconds, Pitou stared at him assessingly. In the air, Killua mouthed something that looked like fucking idiot, his eyes wide with fear. The anticipation of violence hung so thick in the air around them Gon could hardly breathe, but he didn’t look away from Pitou’s horrible eyes.

At last Pitou threw their head back and laughed, a sharp sound that did nothing whatsoever to cut the tension. Once they calmed down, they said, “I believe you, too. But it’s funny—I was expecting you to try making a trade.”

“What, like my life for his?” Gon kept his sword extended, still on guard. “I won’t accept that kind of deal. We’re both making it out alive, and that’s final.”

Or they’d die together here. The coin might fall either way, but whatever option Pitou chose, Gon wouldn’t give up without a fight.

Pitou stared at him for a while longer, and then they snapped their fingers.

Killua came crashing down to the ground, landing with a loud, “Shit! Stupid cat!”

Gon shrank the sword and ran to his side. “Killua!” He meant to help him up, but somehow ended up hugging him by mistake. Though his friend went dead-still, he didn’t try to squirm away, so maybe he didn’t mind.

He pulled away after just a moment, too aware of Pitou’s eyes pricking on his back. “Are you okay? How’s your neck?”

“Jeez,” Killua huffed, pushing him away with one hand. “It’s fine, Gon. Stop fussing.”

Killua sprang to his feet right after that, like he was trying to make a point. To be fair, he did look mostly fine. While his neck looked gory, the bleeding seemed to have stopped, so it was likely a superficial cut.

Maybe Gon was overreacting a little, but his heart was still pumping adrenaline from half a minute earlier, when he’d thought Killua might be killed right in front of him. 

This could’ve gone so much worse…

“Welp, you’re both free to leave!” Pitou exclaimed. “I really shouldn’t go so easy…Pouf’s gonna whine at me later…but I feel like I owe you one, Gon.”

“Huh?” Gon didn’t get this guy at all. “What for?”

In a bizarre sense, he owed Pitou—despite their erratic behavior and callous threats, they’d still healed him earlier. He’d almost certainly be dead if not for them, which was honestly disturbing to think about.

Pitou seemed vaguely confused too, and they shrugged. “Mm, I don’t know. Perhaps I’ve wronged you in another life…anyhoo, go on meow! Better hurry, before I change my mind~”

They winked, waving goodbye. While a part of Gon wanted to question them further, curious about what they meant, Killua wasted no time in seizing his arm, dragging him away with his ridiculous strength that Gon was helpless against. 

“Hey, let go, I’m coming!”

Killua released his arm and broke into a run, moving faster than Gon had ever seen him move before; it took real effort to stay a few steps behind.

“You have a death wish or something?” Killua didn’t sound mad, exactly, but his tone was sharp. “Of all the royal guards, Pitou is the most terrifying. They’d shred you into pieces on a whim. I can’t believe you got away with that.”

Gon wanted to know how Killua had survived meeting them when he was so young, but it would probably be a terrible idea to ask that now.

So instead he asked, “When you say royal guards, do you mean—”

“Menthuthuyoupi, Shaiapouf, and Neferpitou—or Pitou, as they like to be called.”

“Oh. I was thinking of them as the statues.” Gon frowned in thought. “Why do you call them the royal guards, anyway? Who are they guarding?”

“The—” Killua scowled, looking annoyed with himself. “Nobody. They’re just…I don’t know why they’re called that.”

“That’s weird,” Gon remarked. “You know basically everything.”

“What? I do not.”

“Yeah you do!”

“No, you just know nothing, so of course you think I know everything by comparison.”

“I don’t know nothing!”

“Sure.”

Gon stuck his tongue out at Killua, who snickered meanly. It was annoying, but on a deeper level he didn’t mind at all. He just felt happy that they were back together again. Everything was better when Killua was by his side.

As soon as they made it past the board and crossed the line back to regular ground, something in the sky shifted. The grey veil covering everything melted away like mist, revealing a shimmering array of stars and a full moon so bright that Gon could see their shadows as they ran. 

“Wow,” he gasped. “I forgot about the stars.”

At the end he’d been so focused on making it out alive, on winning, that the weird grayness of the world had faded into the background.

“This place will do that to you,” Killua said. He was looking up at them too, soaking the sight in with the same kind of greediness Gon was.

Without talking about it, they slowed back down to a walk, and as soon as they came across an acceptable shelter—in this case, a crevice between rocks—they settled in for the night.

“So you met the royal guards when you were ten?” Gon couldn’t help asking it now; he was bursting with curiosity. 

“I was seven, actually,” Killua said casually. “Pitou’s not great at keeping track of time…must be rough, being a statue.”

Seven. What had Gon been doing at that age? Climbing trees and fishing and running all over the island…and while none of those things were risk-free, he hadn’t been fighting for his life.

How had Killua even survived? Was all of this just normal to him?

A pebble bounced off his chin; Killua must’ve thrown it.

“Stop being quiet, it’s weird,” he complained. 

“Why were you even in that situation? Did your family send you here as a test?” Killua’s reply was stony silence, which kind of answered his question. It made him feel a little bad for being so nosy. He just…couldn’t wrap his head around it. “Sorry.”

“Shut up,” Killua said softly. “It’s fine. I’m a Zoldcyk—we’re built to survive almost anything.” He paused, deliberating. “And my family never would’ve let me die…I’m sure there was some kind of failsafe in place.”

Zoldyck blood…that was what Pitou had said earlier. So that was the name of Killua’s family. After days of traveling together, he finally knew Killua’s whole name, but it felt like information he shouldn’t have. It was pretty clear Killua didn’t like talking about his family, and increasingly he could see why. 

Gon resolved not to push any further with his questions for now. It was partly selfish, to be honest—he didn’t want to learn anything else about the Zoldycks tonight. After what they’d been through today, thinking about a seven-year-old Killua having to deal with Pitou and Pouf made him feel vaguely sick. No matter how strong he’d been, that wasn’t right. 

“I’m getting tired of roughing it,” Killua griped, a welcome change of subject. “I’ll get us a tent soon.”

“Okay,” Gon agreed, turning to look over at him. 

It wasn’t too dark in here; thanks to the moonlight streaming in from above, Killua’s pale face practically glowed. He supposed a tent would be nice—it would definitely come in handy to have one if it rained.

“And I should probably let you know…I saw everything you did earlier.”

“Oh, I was wondering if you could see.” That made him think of another thing. “Did you also hear me talking to you?”

“Yep,” Killua replied. “Anyway, you’re pretty good with that sword. Who taught you?”

“Bisky!” Gon smiled at the memory of his old teacher.  “Well, her full name is Biscuit Krueger, but I always just called her Bisky.”

“Tall, insanely ripped, blonde, wears a stupid fluffy dress…”

“Yeah, that’s her exactly! Wait, when did you meet Bisky? I didn’t know you two knew each other!”

Killua scowled. “I wouldn’t say I know her, we’re not friends…we got into a fight a few years ago, that’s how.”

“Wow,” Gon said quietly, trying to imagine it. “Wait. Who won?”

Killua’s mouth thinned. “It was…a complicated situation.”

“Oh, so you lost!”

“I didn’t lose!” Killua snapped. “I said it was complicated.”

“Why don’t you explain it to me, then,” Gon needled. It was pretty dumb to bother Killua now, when it was already late and they both needed to sleep. He couldn’t help it, though. Killua’s little pouting face was too funny, and he needed that after the day they’d had.

Killua sighed out a slow breath. “Why don’t you tell me why you were stupid enough to fall for Shaiapouf’s stupid trick, huh? You almost died.”

Now he was actually irritated. “I didn’t, though.”

“Gon,” he said, sounding more helpless than frustrated. “I’m not trying to—I need to know how you fell for it, because that probably won’t be the last time someone tries to trick you with an illusion. You can’t trust anything here.”

“That’s wrong. I can trust you,” Gon said with absolute surety.

Killua closed his eyes, muttering something under his breath too quietly for Gon to hear. “...Yeah, you can, but that’s not the point.”

Gon didn’t want to talk about Pouf, but he could see where Killua was coming from. 

“I know it was stupid, okay? I shouldn’t have trusted that Mito was really there, it didn’t make any sense, but I just—I miss her. Part of me had a weird feeling and I ignored it, because I was glad to see her again and I wanted to help her and…I didn’t want to doubt her.”

“Illusions often work that way,” Killua said softly. “They prey on your emotions, showing you what you’d most like to see. The better someone knows you, the easier it is for them to manipulate you with an illusion.”

Gon got the sense that Killua wasn’t talking about what happened with Pouf anymore. 

“You’ve had to deal with a lot of illusions, haven’t you?”

Killua smiled, but there was no humor in the expression. “I’ve seen my fair share.” He reached out and flicked Gon’s cheek. “I can usually tell by now. What’s real, and what’s fake.”

“Can you teach me how?”

“Only time can really teach you.” After a moment of Gon staring at him with wide eyes, he relented. “Maybe. I could try.”

“Thanks, Killua!”

Killua made a sort of nonchalant grunt in reply and turned on his side to face away from Gon. He took this as a sign that his friend wanted to sleep, and let his own eyes fall shut. The ground wasn’t exactly comfortable, but he was exhausted enough from the day’s activities that he’d probably fall asleep pretty quick.

“Earlier,” Killua said, at a volume so low he had to strain to hear. “To Pitou…you told them that we’re friends.” He paused for several heartbeats, the silence thick in the air between them. “Did you mean it?”

“Every word,” Gon replied easily.

Killua made a soft sound of disbelief. “We’re known each other for only a week, and that started with me kidnapping you!”

“Doesn’t matter,” he said stubbornly. “And I don’t have to know everything about you to care about you, Killua. I like spending time with you—don’t you feel the same way?”

“I—yeah. Traveling with you, it’s…fun. More fun than I’ve had in a long time, actually.”

“Then we’re friends,” Gon challenged.

“I guess so,” he said quietly. “I’ve never had a friend. You’d be the first.”

Gon had made plenty of friends, but…“I’ve never had a friend like you before.”

The statement wasn’t enough to cover everything Killua meant to him, but he didn’t quite know how to express that feeling. Maybe it was weird that he’d gotten attached this quickly, but was it really? He’d also formed a pretty quick connection with Kurapika and Leorio, after all.

Still, Killua was just different from his other friends somehow.

“...Goodnight, Gon.”

“Night, Killua!”

Even after the hard day they’d had, Gon couldn’t stop smiling. They were friends.

Chapter Text

Night was coming in early with the fog, a uniform dark-gray settling over the world. They’d just crested a hill, and Gon turned to ask Killua if this would be a good spot to camp for the night.

All thoughts left his head when he saw the cityscape visible in the distance. Even through the trees and the fog, the lights were an impressive array; the city must be comparable to Yorknew in size.

“Wow!” Gon exclaimed. “Look at that city!”

When he started to walk closer to the edge of the cliff for a better look, Killua stopped him with a hand on his sleeve. 

“Bad idea.”

“Wait, why?”

“Because there isn’t a city around here,” Killua said, eyes narrowed with suspicion as he stared at the glittering view.

“Oh…really?” Gon didn’t think Killua would lie to him or anything, it was just difficult to believe that when he saw evidence of the opposite right before his eyes.

“Illusion,” Killua said simply. “I have a hunch…care to test it with your sword?”

In response, Gon unclipped the vorpal sword pendant from his neck and expanded it into the full-size blade. “Do I just poke it?”

“Mhm. Be sure to keep a tight grip on the handle.”

Gon tightened his grip to the point where his hand would cramp later, if he held it for too long, and carefully reached forward with the blade.

Nothing happened. Confused, he looked over to Killua.

“It’s a little farther, then. You can take one more step.”

Gon stepped forward, still holding out the sword, and this time something weird happened. It was like the lights of the city wavered in the wind before bending in on themselves, the whole view becoming warped, folding impossibly. As if the whole thing were a picture painted on fabric, the truth only revealed when it was touched.

“It looked so real,” Gon muttered in awe. He pulled the sword back, only to encounter resistance. It felt like he’d gotten caught in something sticky, like—“Is this a spiderweb?”

“Sure is,” Killua agreed cheerfully, his tense expression in direct opposition to his tone. “I would tug harder if I were you. Let me know if you need any help!”

“I’m good,” Gon said, determination flaring up in him. He dug his feet into the ground and yanked at the sword. The web resisted him, but he was stronger; after several seconds, the sword tore free, and he staggered backwards, barely managing to stay on his feet.

“Good work,” Killua praised, and then his eyes went wide. “Look at that! There we go.”

Gon followed his gaze back to the frayed remnants of the web, and eight glowing red eyes gazed back at them. He recognized them as part of what had been the city; the truth had been before his eyes all along. 

Also, that was the largest spider he’d seen in his life, and it wasn’t even a competition. The thing was as big as a medium-sized dog, and its fangs moved angrily, seeming mad at missing out on a meal.

“Animals can do magic?” Gon asked. He’d had other questions, but seeing that spider had made every other thought leave his head.

“I thought you’d have figured that out by now. There was that fire-breathing skink that dissolved your knife, the flying fish, the chameleon cats—”

“Okay, but those things are different from illusions! Illusions are…crazier.”

“As badly as you phrased that, I think I know what you mean,” Killua said. “An illusion is able to influence our minds, instead of being contained to the creature itself.”

“Yeah! That’s what I meant.”

“Let’s set up camp here.”

“The spider won’t bother us?”

Killua shook his head. “It won’t move from its web.”

Looking back, the spider was already hard at work fixing its web, carefully reweaving the illusion to catch some other unlucky traveler.

It only took a moment to set up their tent, which looked like a scrap of cloth until Killua threw it to the ground and snapped his fingers. Just like that: full-size tent. Gon suspected Killua had snuck off one night and stolen it from some unfortunate souls, but he didn’t honestly care enough to ask. 

Now, Gon waited until they were settled in for the night to question, “So how does that work?”

“How does what work?”

“That illusion we just saw. You said you’d teach me about illusions, remember?”

“Right.”

“How could you tell it was real so easily?”

“One second,” Killua said, sitting up abruptly. 

Gon could only see him as a shape in the gloom, but then there was a sound like Killua snapping his fingers. A light appeared in the air between them, illuminating the whole tent. It was a crackling orb of raw electricity, bluish lightning forced to play nice.

“Wow,” Gon breathed, and immediately reached out a hand to touch it.

Killua slapped his hand away. “Idiot, you’ll shock yourself.”

“It’s super pretty!” Gon said, which was admittedly a poor defense. “How come you haven’t done it before?”

“I didn’t see the need, I guess,” Killua said. “I mean, I can see pretty well in the dark.”

“What! No fair…”

“Can we focus here? I was going to tell you about illusions.”

“Aye-aye, captain.”

Killua sighed heavily in annoyance. 

“Okay. The first rule of illusions—there are two main types. Exterior, and interior. What we just saw was an exterior type, meaning it was constructed in the physical world. Those are much easier to break compared to the second type, mostly because it’s way easier to figure out they’re fake. Care to guess why the second type is called interior?”

“Um…”

“Go on. Take a guess.”

Gon wracked his brains. The first part of what Killua had said made sense to him: an illusion that was physically built like a web. Though it could probably be in the form of other things, too. Interior…

“Is it in your head?”

“Correct,” Killua said. “I’d say nice job, but you don’t deserve it. That was obvious.”

“Hey—”

“So, interior illusions are a trick of the mind. Mental manipulation that makes you wholeheartedly believe in the lie. It’s like dreaming, in a sense. You usually don’t question any of the weird shit happening in a dream—your brain doesn’t let you. And that’s what makes interior illusions so difficult to escape.”

That made sense. Gon imagined that an illusion which infiltrated your mind would be really hard to escape—that wasn’t the kind of thing you could just poke with a sword.

“Wait, so how can you tell you’re in one? I’m guessing you can’t remember how the illusion started, right? Because that would give it away.”

“Correct again,” Killua said, nodding. “Even if the scenario you’re experiencing is ridiculous or totally implausible, an illusion created by someone skilled can be incredibly convincing. And generally, your brain does the work to fill in whatever gaps are left.”

“You know so much about all this.”

“I’ve learned a lot from experience. Did some research, too.”

Killua’s tone was relaxed on the surface, but Gon could hear the underlying tension, an undercurrent of don’t make me talk about this anymore.

“In a library type of research?” Killua nodded, and Gon sighed enviously. “Ah, Killua, you’re so smart. I don’t have the patience for studying in libraries.”

“Don’t flatter me. It’s not like reading’s hard.”

“Speak for yourself! I can’t focus on anything unless it’s interesting to me.”

Killua gave him a flat look. “Yeah, I can believe that.”

“And then if something really interests me, I get obsessed with it.” 

Like you, Gon barely stopped himself from saying. Everything you tell me brings up more questions. I want to know about you—I want to know you. 

Thankfully, Killua let the conversation die, and Gon lay down on his sleeping mat. While they each had their own, there was just one blanket—all of this stolen along with the tent—but it was a nice warm one.

Those poor campers…well, I’m sure Killua left them with their food at least.

Gon kind of suspected the blanket was magic too; somehow it packed up into an impossibly small square that easily fit in Gon’s backpack despite being big enough for both of them to easily share at night.

Honestly, Gon didn’t mind sharing a blanket.

While he tried his best to give Killua space, they usually woke up right next to each other in the mornings. He liked sharing space with his friend…it was uniquely cozy. Whenever Gon was the first one awake, he let himself stay put for a while, and pretended to still be sleeping. Sometimes he would even doze off again by accident.

Growing up on Whale Island, there hadn’t been anyone close to his age. He’d never had a sleepover before, but he imagined they must be a little like this.

Tonight was either the twentieth or twenty-first or possibly the twenty-second night they’d spent together—Gon had honestly lost track—and they were staying in a real building for once, a lonely abandoned tower atop a small mountain. 

Despite Killua’s warnings to avoid the stairs, Gon was unable to resist climbing up to the top floor when Killua went out to get firewood. 

“Wow,” he murmured, looking out at the view, which was perfectly clear through the broken windows. He stepped closer, careful to avoid the glass scattered across the floor. 

Beautiful…

Far below, there lay a dark plain that stretched for miles, and off in the farthest reaches, there were myriad twinkling lights. A city, maybe…it certainly looked like one, but he knew better than to assume by now. Still, whatever it was, the lights were lovely, mirroring the stars that glittered far above. 

There were so many stars here. Gon was used to seeing a clear night sky on Whale Island, but the stars here were wholly unfamiliar and strange. Sometimes they twinkled blue or green, and occasionally they seemed to move. It made him wonder if there could be life up there.

“GON!”

Uh-oh.

“I’M UP HERE!” Gon yelled back. “BUT I’LL COME DOWN NOW!”

Only one of the stairs collapsed under his weight on the way down, so really it was fine. Killua didn’t seem to think so, though—he yelled at Gon for a minute straight.

“Idiot!” He seethed, leaning back and crossing his arms as he finally started to lose steam. “That was so tremendously stupid. This place has been abandoned for years, Gon, you could’ve broken both your legs.”

“But it turned out okay!” Gon said, which might've been a mistake, because for a second it looked like Killua was going to go off again.

He just sighed instead, an exhausted sort of sound that did succeed in making Gon feel bad for worrying him. 

“Sorry.”

Killua shook his head. “You get to start the fire tonight.”

Gracefully, Gon didn’t mention that he’d been starting their fires for the past several nights, ever since Killua discovered he was better at making them.

Tonight they grilled fruit and rabbit over the fire. It was a Whale Island-worthy dinner; they’d certainly come a long way from the horrible meat rations.

Though dinner should’ve been a good time, Killua was strangely distant.

He replied to whatever Gon said, but didn’t say anything on his own. Even when Gon made more stupid jokes than usual to try to make him laugh, the most he got out of Killua were a few small smiles. Which was weird, and mildly concerning, considering how much his friend had opened up over the past couple weeks.

By now, Gon knew that Killua’s favorite color was blue-violet, and his favorite food was anything sweet, especially if it contained chocolate. He knew Killua’s favorite season was spring, and that in his free time, he liked to read or do logic puzzles or ‘fuck around with my skateboard’ (whatever that was).

He knew that Killua had two living parents and a grandpa and four siblings. He knew that Killua didn’t get along with any of his family members…except for one. A sister, who he only mentioned one time—and he’d immediately shut down when Gon tried to ask about her. 

At this point Killua would talk at length about all kinds of things, and yet when it came to his family he would inevitably clam up. Even if Gon wasn’t already well aware that the Zoldycks sucked, Killua’s caginess about them would’ve clued him in.

Maybe this was a bit strange, because they still hadn’t known each other all that long, really, but Gon secretly considered Killua to be his best friend. They just…clicked.

And as his best friend, if he’s feeling down, I’m going to cheer him up!

Once the fire had burned down to the last dying embers, Gon turned to Killua and said, “Come to the top of the tower with me.”

“Gon—”

“I swear it’s safe! And the view is really pretty up there—don’t you wanna see it?”

Killua relented, like he usually did when Gon was determined about something, and together they climbed to the top, with Killua grumbling under his breath the whole way.

“Oh,” he said when they were standing at the windows. “That is a good view…”

Gon frowned, because he sounded weird. Sad, maybe. “What’s wrong with it?”

Killua was quiet for a moment. “I can see Kukuroo mountain from here. Unless something goes wrong, we’ll make it there tomorrow, or maybe the day after.”

Oh.

Gon squinted at the dark, distant mountain range. “Which one is it?”

“You’re looking in the wrong place,” Killua said with a touch of amusement. “Look up. It’s a floating mountain.”

“What? You never mentioned that!”

Now that Gon was looking for it, he could see a shape in the sky that was a few shades darker than the night sky surrounding it, and more solid-looking. Little lights peeked out that must be windows. He’d thought those were stars, but they were windows.

Gon was starting to see what Killua meant when he’d said nothing here could be trusted.

“There’s a lot I haven’t mentioned,” Killua said. “I haven’t been doing a good job of preparing you to meet my family.” He wouldn’t look at Gon, his eyes fixed on the distant mountain. “I don’t…really want you to meet them, to be honest.”

He’d been thinking about how to handle Killua’s family the whole time, on and off. It didn’t help his strategizing that Killua was exceedingly sparse with the information he offered, but at the same time Gon didn’t want to push him to talk about them when it was obviously a difficult thing for him to do.

Gon was operating under the assumption that he would take the punishment for killing Mike, so Killua wouldn’t get in trouble, and after that…he didn’t know what would happen. He’d wondered more than once if it was really necessary to face Killua’s family at all, if they were that terrifying. Couldn’t they just avoid them? What was preventing them from running away together, if the Zoldycks couldn’t be bothered to give chase?

After all the time they’d spent together, he finally felt ready to ask, “Do you have to return home? I can tell you hate it there.”

Killua looked at him then. “Of course I do. Running isn’t an option.”

He said it like it was obvious, but Gon didn’t understand why he was so convinced. Even if running hadn’t worked when he was a kid, Killua had to be a lot smarter and stronger now.

“Why not?”

“Illumi would find me anywhere I went, for starters,” Killua said, turning away and starting to pace the room. “I don’t know how he does it, some kind of magic that I’ve never been able to figure out…”

Illumi…Killua hadn’t mentioned the name before, but Gon could guess. “He’s one of your brothers?”

“The oldest one. He’s pretty awful.”

Though he said it without any inflection, Killua’s face was a still mask, his eyes flat and dead. Seeing him like that made a sudden anger ignite in his chest: a heavy, overpowering urge to hurt. Illumi needed to pay for putting that look on Killua’s face.

Okay, okay, calm down.

Gon breathed in and out slowly, letting the anger retreat for now. “Okay, so that’s a problem. Do you think we could figure it out together?”

“That’s not even the main problem,” Killua said, and then went silent. 

He was staring out toward Kukuroo mountain again, though his expression was different now; it carried sadness, and so much longing that Gon’s heart ached in sympathy.

“What else?” He asked quietly. “Please, tell me. I want to help you.”

“My sister, Alluka…and Nanika.” Killua seemed to be struggling with how to say something, and Gon waited patiently. “They’re kind of a…two sisters for one deal? Nanika is a spirit who…we don’t actually know how it happened, but she’s been sharing a body with Alluka for a long time. Alluka doesn’t mind—they’re inseparable, and you have to understand that Nanika isn’t a bad spirit. She just wants to be loved.”

“So you have two sisters,” Gon said, because that seemed to be what Killua was trying to say.

“I…yeah. I guess so.”

“That’s great!” Gon said, enthused to hear that Killua had two whole siblings who weren’t awful. He deserved so much more, but at least he had those two. 

“The problem is that my family has always been afraid of Nanika,” Killua continued. “Her power is…indescribable, and difficult to understand. Alluka and I were able to figure out the rules, but we didn’t tell the rest of the family, so they were never able to control Nanika. And they hate having something they can’t control.”

Killua looked over at Gon. “I told you I ran away when I was twelve…I tried to bring my sisters with me.” His face tightened, like he was recalling it. “After that failure, our family locked them away somewhere I couldn't reach. And I still can’t get to them—they’ve been trapped for years. I won’t run off and abandon them there. As long as they’re not free, I’m not either.”

“I’m sorry, Killua.” 

Gon didn’t know what else he could say. He wished he could make Killua less sad, but that wasn’t something words alone could accomplish.

Words couldn’t do it, but action could.

“We’re going to set them free,” Gon declared. “And then none of you will have to see your so-called family ever again.”

Killua choked on a laugh. “You say that like it’s so easy.”

“It won’t be easy, but together, I know we can do it.” Gon leaned forward, feeling drawn in by an almost magnetic force. Killua appeared startled by him closing the distance, his eyes growing wide, but he didn’t move away. “It’s a better plan than just throwing me to the wolves, anyway,” he teased lightly. 

“Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking with that,” Killua said, a little sheepish. “I was just…tired, I guess. Still, I’m—”

“Shhh!” Gon put a finger on Killua’s lips in an automatic motion. “No more apologies! We’re way past that point, I’d say.”

Killua didn’t attempt to say anything else. He was dead-still, his face increasingly red. It was then that Gon realized he’d maybe gotten a little too close, and he quickly stepped back, bringing his hand behind his back.

“Well! You know what I mean.”

“I…yeah.” Killua shook his head, visibly refocusing. When he looked back at Gon, his eyes were so bright and determined, they seemed to glow. “Let’s do it. Let’s set them free.”

The next day proved to be the most frustrating walking experience they’d had yet; for hours, the distant mountains never seemed to come any closer. Of course, the whole thing was more annoying for Gon than it was for Killua, who predictably was used to this nonsense.

“It’s a spell one of my ancestors put on these plains years and years ago,” Killua explained. “The mountains will retreat as you get closer to resist intruders. Pretty ingenious.”

“But how do you get past it?”

“Strength of will,” he replied. Where Gon’s walking speed was erratic from his frustration, Killua maintained a steady pace, forward and forward and forward. “You need to have an iron resolve. They’ll get closer eventually.”

“...The Zoldycks really don’t like people, huh.”

“Where do you get that impression?”

Gon decided that the only good thing about the horrible slow walk through the plains was the extra time it allowed for them to talk. Ever since they’d decided on a course of action, Killua had been calmer, less distant; now, he easily rattled off information about his family and their abilities, and together they started putting together the bare bones of a plan.

The Zoldyck family was formidable, each one of them with powerful abilities, but at least now Gon was getting a better idea of what they were facing. 

Zeno, the grandad, had time-based magic which could slow you down, and apparently he could also create glowing dragons? He sounded super scary, but at least Killua didn’t think he’d get involved.

Silva, Killua’s dad and the head of the family, was the master of lightning. 

“He could strike us down from up above just like that,” Killua said, with a snap of his fingers. “Kill both of us, instantly. Course, he wouldn’t actually, since you’re with me and he’ll want to know why.”

Gon frowned. “Your dad wouldn’t actually kill you, would he?”

“Of course not,” Killua said, which was reassuring. Less reassuring was what he followed it up with. “There are worse things than death, you know…like being forced to work for your family.”

Gon chose to ignore that for now. “So, when you said your dad could hit us with his lightning…does that mean they’re watching us right now?”

“Well, duh,” Killua said—that was not a duh moment! How could Gon have known that? “Everyone who approaches the house is under surveillance by my mom—Kikyo. She lost her eyes some years back in a fight and now she’s got this super annoying visor Milluki made for her—Milluki’s my other older brother. Anyway, the visor combines magic and technology so she can spy on everybody. It’s fucking annoying as hell, I’ll never forgive Milluki for making that thing.”

That was…a lot.

First he had to ask about the word he didn’t know. “What’s technology?”

Killua gave him a confused look. “You know, like cameras and cell phones, that kind of shit…don’t tell me you’ve never heard of cell phones.”

“Um.”

“Seriously? You don’t have phones on Whale Island?”

“I know about cameras, but what are phones?”

“I can’t believe this,” Killua said unhelpfully, shaking his head. “You’re from a whole other world…”

“We’ve established that already,” Gon said, impatient to hear a real answer. “Now tell me, what are phones?”

“Shit, you’re like a grandpa,” Killua snorted.

“Killuaaaaa,” he whined. “Tell me!”

“Okay, okay. Phones are these…things you use to communicate with people. You can call them and hear their voice, or send text messages.”

“Like letters,” Gon realized. “That’s what we use.”

“Yeah, like letters but way faster. Phones have their drawbacks, actually. They can be tracked, for one—that’s why I don’t have mine on me now. Well, and I didn’t want anyone to be able to contact me that easily. Plus, in some ways, phones are less—fuck. Gon, you’ve totally distracted me.”

“Sorry!”

“Where was I…oh. I should tell you about what my brothers can do.”

Gon nodded, and waited as Killua found the right words. It took a while, but they had plenty of time—the mountains still weren’t getting any closer. Gon was less bothered by that now that he was completely focused on listening to Killua.

“Kalluto is the youngest in the family,” Killua began. “He’s barely eighteen, but you shouldn’t underestimate him. Kalluto can do all kinds of weird shit with paper, basically. I know that doesn’t sound scary, but he’s got an army of paper dolls, and he’s just annoying in a fight. He’s not the main threat, by far…the problem is, he’s very loyal to the family, so he’ll do anything they tell him to.”

“Okay, good to know.”

“That kid annoys me…” Killua grumbled, but then he scowled. “Milluki is way worse, though. He’s five years older than me, and he’s a weak fighter, but he makes up for it with his techno-magical skills. He’s obnoxiously good at making traps. Look out for him—he’d be delighted to test out some of his new creations on you.”

“I’ll be okay,” Gon said, hoping to ease the worried look on his face. “Some traps aren’t enough to stop me.”

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about…fuck.” There was something wild in Killua’s eyes as he turned to Gon. “I don’t know if this is a good idea. Maybe you should turn around.”

“What?” What was he saying? “No way! I’m not leaving you to face them alone.”

“Gon, they’re my family. I know them, I can manage them, and there’s no chance they’ll kill me. They love me, in their own special way.” He jabbed Gon in the chest. “But they won’t show any mercy for you. They’ll kill you, Gon, and they won’t even think anything of it!”

“I don’t care. I’m not leaving you.”

“Are you stupid?”

“Yeah, sure I am!” Gon shouted back. “And nothing you say will make me change my mind. I’m not leaving you, Killua!”

Killua’s legs folded under him, and he fell to the ground like he’d suddenly run out of all energy. Gon sat down as well, and started to reach out before he stopped himself, unsure if touch would be welcome.

Cold wind whistled past, to the distant purple mountains that seemed to mock them. Gon looked above them to where Kukuroo mountain sat in the gray sky, nestled in a sea of clouds. While he couldn’t make out any details at this distance, the floating mountain was still imposing in its cold solidity, the impossibility of how it hung in the sky. 

Gon stuck his tongue out at it, and then returned his attention to Killua. He looked so defeated sitting like that, it made Gon’s heart lurch.

“Talk to me,” he said quietly. Please, Killua.

After several too-long seconds, his friend finally looked up at him. 

“I don’t understand how someone like you exists,” Killua said. “You’re impossible, Gon. You don’t—you have no idea how many people I’ve killed. I’ve never been a good person. I don’t even know how to be one.”

Gon wanted to interrupt so badly to tell him he was wrong, but he kept his mouth firmly shut. He needed to let him finish. 

“You’re my best friend,” Killua continued, his voice almost agonized. “I care about you far more than I should, considering how long we’ve known each other. And I don’t—I don’t deserve this kind of devotion from you. You’re so good, and I can’t drag you into my family’s darkness. If they kill you, I don’t know how I’d live with myself after.”

He dragged in a deep breath. “I can rescue my sisters by myself. It’s my responsibility, anyway. They wouldn’t have been locked up if I hadn’t botched our escape back then. You…you need to let me do this alone, Gon. Thank you for being my friend, and I—I promise, we’ll see each other again some day.”

Gon gave him some time to settle down and start breathing more regularly, and when Killua seemed a bit calmer he said, “Sorry, but no.”

“Gon—”

“So that was a whole heap of bullshit,” Gon interrupted, because he couldn’t hold it in any longer. “First, I don’t care what you’ve done in the past. What matters to me is who you are now, and I like who you are, Killua. And you’ve got to have more faith in me—maybe I’m not some crazy magical superhuman like you, but that doesn’t make me defenseless. They can’t kill me that easily. And, also, it’s not your fault your sisters are locked up! Your family just sucks, that’s not on you!”

He was forced to pause to take a breath, but he barreled right back into it before Killua could begin to refute what he was saying. “I’m going to help you save your sisters and there’s nothing you can do about it. Like I said—I’m not leaving you.”

Quieter, he said, “You’re my best friend, too, you know.”

Killua was staring fixedly at the ground. Gon looked away when he saw Killua wipe a tear, knowing this whole conversation must be hard enough for him already.

“You’re insufferable,” Killua said eventually. When he met Gon’s eyes, he was actually smiling a little, a beautiful expression. For some reason Gon nearly stopped breathing. “I mean it. There’s actually something wrong with you.”

“Probably,” he agreed with a smile. “But you like it.”

Killua shook his head, but didn’t deny the statement, which sent warmth through Gon’s chest. When he got to his feet, Gon jumped up with him, filled with a fresh determination. 

“Okay,” Killua said. “I’m still…scared, but I’ll try not to freak out about this anymore.”

“Good!”

“But you need to listen to me very carefully from now on,” Killua said suddenly, whirling around to point at him. “I know my family a whole lot better than you do. As long as you follow my lead and listen to everything I say, you have a good chance of survival.”

“I’ll listen as long as it’s not you being stupid again,” he agreed.

“No, you’ll listen no matter what.”

“Okay!”

Gon didn’t like lying to his friend’s face, but occasionally he was left with no other choice.

Killua eyed him suspiciously, as if he could hear Gon’s last thought, and Gon tried to look innocent. “Okay, good.”

They started walking again. Something about their surroundings was different, though it took Gon a minute to figure out what it was.

“The mountains are getting closer!”

“Yup,” Killua said, back to his nonchalant, cool-guy demeanor, like he hadn’t been having a small mental breakdown just a few minutes ago. 

That was the thing about Killua, though. Nothing could keep him down for long. He had to be the strongest person Gon knew. Suddenly, he felt so grateful that they’d met. Their current situation didn’t matter; Gon just felt lucky to have made such a good friend.

“Killua…”

“Hm?”

“I’m really glad I met you. I’m glad we’re friends.”

“...You don’t know when to stop, do you.” 

Killua’s blushing face was pretty adorable, but with some effort Gon kept that comment to himself, knowing how easily his friend was embarrassed.

“I’m glad we met, too,” Killua mumbled.

“I’m so lucky you decided to kidnap me and not some other guy,” Gon said, unable to stop himself this time—Killua was just too fun to tease.

“Are you allergic to shutting the fuck up?” Killua’s face was so red that someone else might’ve thought he was angry, but Gon was desperately holding in laughter at the sight. “We agreed to stop talking about that, didn’t we?”

“You acted so scary, holding me at knifepoint and everything.”

“I hate you.”

Gon couldn’t hold in his laughter anymore, and Killua cracked a smile eventually.

While the light mood persisted all the way across the plains, it ended abruptly once they reached the mountains. After so long seeing the mountains in the distance, it felt surreal to actually be climbing them. Though the way up was easier than Gon had expected, because there was a spiraling path cut into the stone slopes, and even stairs over the steeper sections. 

“Did your family make this, too?” Gon asked as they were about halfway up. The ground was already dizzyingly small from here.

“I don’t know…probably.”

Killua was quiet again, but it seemed like a focused kind of quiet. Gon was reasonably sure he wouldn’t try to make him abandon him again, at least. As they climbed, the sun sank lower in the sky, sinking below the horizon as they reached the top. The sky was quickly darkening, night closing in with uncanny speed.

“There’s the path,” Killua said, pointing toward…a string of floating rocks. 

Well, that figures.

The first rock was about two feet off the ground, and it was only a few feet wide. Not quite big enough for two people, but plenty of room for one. The rest of the rocks looked to be around the same size, though Gon couldn't tell how far apart they were. He followed the path with his eyes, and it seemed to lead almost all the way to Kukuroo mountain, aside from a significant gap at the very end.

Or was there something there? Gon squinted, trying to get a better look through the gloom.

“Is there—”

“Bridge made out of glass,” Killua said offhandedly. “Hope you’re not scared of heights.”

“You know I’m not.”

“Just be careful. There are multiple holes in the glass, and Milluki used his powers to make them almost impossible to see. You have to step exactly where I step or you’re toast.”

“Okay. Anything else?”

“Since Mike is…no longer with us, the last obstacle is the wall of living stone.”

Seriously?

“The wall will let me in,” Killua continued, “since it knows me, but it’ll try to throw you off the mountain. Or impale you, or eat you…depends on its mood.” He paused in consideration. “Your vorpal sword should be sharp enough to cut through it, though.”

“Sounds good.” It all sounded terrible, actually, but Gon was sure he’d be fine. He refused to be stopped by some stupid glass bridge and…living wall before he could even meet Killua’s family face to face. It’d be tricky to ascend this path in the growing twilight, though. More than tricky—it would be seriously dangerous. “We’re doing this tomorrow, right?”

“Of course. It would be suicide for you to take this path at night.”

Gon didn’t miss the emphasis on you. “Oh, so you’d be totally fine.”

“I climbed it at night during an ice storm once, and that was when I was ten.”

It was clearly meant to be a brag, and while Gon was impressed, he was also mildly horrified to hear another example of Killua’s terrifying childhood exploits. Maybe he’d done some crazy-dangerous things back when he’d been looking for Ging, but at least he’d had friends at his side to keep him from getting himself killed. He’d definitely have died if not for them…yet again, he wondered at Killua’s ability to survive the impossible. 

“And you say there’s something wrong with me,” he joked. “You’re just as bad.”

Killua half-shrugged. “I never said I wasn’t.”

“There’s one more thing,” Gon said. He hated to break the mood, but he had to ask. “What about Illumi? You never got around to mentioning what he can do.”

At the mention of his brother, Killua looked suddenly exhausted. “I know. Let’s just set up camp for the night first, and then I’ll tell you about him.”

“Sure.”

Once they’d set up the tent and settled down, Killua summoned his electricity for lighting. Like usual, Gon had to remind himself not to touch it—the lightning had an entrancing beauty. In a strange way, it made perfect sense that Killua’s magic was so lovely: Killua was beautiful, too.

After another minute, Killua began to speak.

“Illumi can create illusions that are more convincing than any other I’ve seen. You might call him the master of interior illusions. They’re like living nightmares…almost impossible to escape.”

He paused, but he wasn’t done. 

“That’s not all he can do, either. Illumi’s got a thing for needles, which he uses for a variety of purposes. To induce pain or fear, to manipulate your mind or prolong an illusion…even turn people into living puppets. He can probably do more with them, but I wouldn’t know. Honestly, I try to avoid him whenever I can.”

Killua went silent, staring at the darkness with an empty sort of look. Gon didn’t want to know what he might be seeing. 

“Your brother sounds like a real asshole,” he said, and internally cheered when Killua’s attention returned to him.

Gon couldn’t parse the expression on Killua’s face, but his stare was so intent, he felt trapped in it, unable to look away.

“I wonder sometimes,” Killua said. “If you’re just another one of his illusions. Logically, I know you’re not, but often you seem too good to be true.”

He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve that kind of sentiment, and he also felt almost helpless in the face of it. If Killua had been lied to that much, was it even possible for Gon to prove that he was real?

“I swear, I’m real. Is there a way I can prove it to you?”

Unexpectedly, Killua smiled slightly. “You already have, stupid. It’s an irrational fear—you don’t need to humor it.”

Gon had a great idea then. Impulsively, he leaned forward to peck Killua’s cheek, finding it was just as soft as he’d imagined. “There!” He exclaimed, leaning back. “One of your brother’s illusions wouldn’t do that—I mean, I’m assuming he wouldn’t make one like that, it’d be kinda gross if he did…”

Killua was dead quiet, staring at him silently with an unreadable expression.

“Right?” Gon prodded. “Um. Killua? Please talk to me.”

Killua seemed to shake himself. “Uh, no. My brother wouldn’t—he wouldn’t even think to make an illusion do that.”

“Oh, good!” Gon smiled, ignoring how he kind of wanted to kiss Killua on the cheek again, or maybe even more than that. It really wasn’t the time to be thinking about this. His brain suddenly wanted to, but he would simply put the thoughts on a shelf for later. “So now you know I’m real.”

“I knew before,” Killua said. “That was entirely unnecessary.”

But was it fun?

To prevent himself from asking that, Gon said the next thing that popped into his head, which ended up being, “Would you be mad if I killed your brother? Illumi, I mean.”

“Gon.”

Gon couldn’t tell how Killua felt, except that he was clearly taken aback.

“Ah…sorry,” he said sheepishly. 

Killua shook his head. “You can’t—on a practical level, you physically can’t kill him. I’m not even strong enough to take him. He’s stronger than both of us combined.”

“Oh.”

“And I can’t…” Killua sighed, a ragged sound that made Gon feel terrible for asking the question at all. “He sucks, and I hate how he’s always trying to control me. I hate how he's always treated my sisters, but I still couldn’t kill him. I don’t know why. He’s just…”

“He’s your brother,” Gon said quietly. “You don’t need to explain it…I’m sorry for asking.”

“No, it’s fine. It was a fair question.” 

“Still,” Gon repeated. He might’ve apologized again, but then he thought of another thing. “Hey, you still haven’t shown me everything you can do.”

Killua smiled tiredly. “I’ll show you in the morning. Let’s sleep—we’ll need to be well rested.”

“Okay…goodnight!”

It turned out that climbing the insane path of floating rocks up to the Zoldyck mansion was kind of easy, so long as you didn’t look down. The glass bridge was the same kind of deal; Gon was just careful to step exactly where Killua had, and he was fine.

The living gates, on the other hand, were annoying. Just as Killua had described, they ignored him completely in favor of attacking Gon. They didn’t try to eat him, at least, but it still took a great deal of effort to dodge the worst attacks, all while slashing through living-stone vines and snakes. 

All the while, Killua laconically cheered him on in the background, like, “Yeah, you go Gon…kill those vines.”

When they’d finally made it through the gates, Gon took a minute to catch his breath, turning to Killua. “You could’ve helped, you know.”

“Actually, I couldn't have,” Killua said. “If I’d done that, then my family would have judged you as unworthy of entrance and killed you on sight.”

“I know I keep saying this, but Killua…your family sucks so bad.”

Killlua snorted and started leading him up to the gates of the main mansion. “Hey, give them a chance,” he said sarcastically. “You haven’t even met them yet.”

Gon let Killua take the lead, so it was him who rapped on the—ridiculously huge—doors. Only a moment later, the doors were opened by a neat-looking man in a suit.

“Master Killua,” the man said, inclining his head. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Hey, Gotoh,” Killua said, seeming mostly at ease—this must be one of the family butlers he’d mentioned briefly at one point. “Before you ask, I don’t have Mike. He was killed by this guy.” He jerked a hand in Gon’s direction, and not knowing what else to do, Gon waved. “His name’s Gon, he’s my friend.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Gotoh!” Gon said, falling back on manners.

Gotoh spared him a single glance—Gon almost shriveled into nothing from the heavy judgment in it—before returning his attention to Killua. 

“A friend?”

“Yep,” Killua said breezily, but Gon didn’t miss the tension in his smile. “I thought it was about time he met the family. Speaking of them, who’s at home currently?”

“I see,” Gotoh said, frowning slightly. “Everyone is present at the moment, with the exception of Master Zeno. I'll inform Master Silva of your return at once.”

“Cool. See ya later, then.”

Killua grabbed Gon’s arm and pretty much dragged him away. 

“Is Gotoh dangerous?” Gon asked quietly, once they’d turned a few corners and gone up a flight of stairs—already, he was thoroughly lost. This mansion was a maze.

“To you? Maybe,” Killua said. “But he’s always been fond of me. I doubt he’ll directly help us out, but he’ll look the other way for sure.”

“Why do I get the feeling your family politics are insanely complicated,” Gon said, half to himself. 

“Oh, you have no idea…I’ll spare you the details, though. You only need to know enough to make it out of here alive.”

Killua’s room was up another two flights of stairs, and the space took up the inside of a whole turret. Windows went around the majority of the room, offering a breathtaking view of the mountains far below and the cloudy sky. A canopied bed was tucked in one corner, and Killua proudly showed off a walk-in closet that was about the size of Gon’s whole room. 

“I never realized you were such a rich kid,” Gon said, a little astonished.

Killua flopped on his bed, spreading his arms wide. “Hey, there gotta be some perks to being born a Zoldyck. It may not be the most respectable career, but assassination pays.”

“So, what’s the plan?”

“The plan…”

“To rescue your sisters?”

Killua sighed heavily, moving one of his arms to lie over his eyes. “To be honest, I have no idea where to begin.”

“It’ll be fine,” Gon said.

“I wish I had your optimism…” he groaned and sat up. “Okay, plan. I mentioned my sisters are stuck in a mirror, yeah?”

Recalling their conversation from earlier in the morning, Gon nodded.

“There’s a missing piece to the mirror that has to be put back in before we can get them out, and Illumi always wears it on a string around his neck.” 

Killua’s fingers dug into the blankets on his bed, the ends of them somehow transforming into claws, shredding the blankets and sheets into ribbons with every small movement. 

“I don’t know how we’ll be able to steal it without him noticing. I’ve never been able to get that close. I haven’t even tried.”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it! Your brother’s a scary guy. We’ll do it together…” Despite Gon’s best efforts, he was increasingly distracted by the torn-up mess of Killua’s bedding, feathers drifting out of them like snow. “I didn’t know you had knife hands.”

“Hm?” Killua looked down, seeming to notice his clawed hands for the first time. With a grimace, he flexed them, and they returned to normal. “Ah, yeah. I don’t…like to use them. It’s pretty gross getting blood all over my hands, so I prefer regular knives.”

“Sure, that makes sense.” Sensing he might’ve stumbled on another sore spot by accident, he changed the subject. “Let’s brainstorm ideas for the plan! What are your brother’s weaknesses?”

“...He’s overconfident,” Killua said slowly. “He’ll probably underestimate you, and he won’t be able to use his illusions as effectively on you, either, since he doesn’t know you. They work better when he knows your fears. Speaking of—you can’t let him get you with one of his needles. If he does, you’re fucked.”

“I’ll be careful,” he promised.

Killua seemed like he was about to say something else, but then there came a tapping noise from the window. Both of them looked over to see a little yellow bird outside, which was pecking the window with its beak.

“Canary,” Killua said, his eyes lighting up with unexpected joy. Oh, that is a canary, isn’t it? He quickly walked over to the window and opened the latch, letting the little bird hop inside.

“Um, what—” Gon was rendered speechless when the canary began to glow and then expand, expelling a burst of light so bright he had to look away for a moment. When he looked back, the bird was gone, and in its place stood a young woman.

She looked to be about their age, dressed in a neat suit with her hair up in a bunch of braids. Her smile was bright as she said, “Good day, Master Killua.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, call me Killua when we’re in here,” Killua complained. “My wards are good, I swear. They shouldn’t be able to see or hear anything in my room.”

“Force of habit,” she said, and then her eyes grew a little wider as she noticed Gon. “Who might you be?”

“Gon Freecss. I’m a friend of Killua’s,” he said, smiling at her—if Killua liked her, so did he. “And you’re…Canary?”

After a moment, she smiled back. “Yes, that’s my name. I’m a butler here.” Looking at Killua, she added, “I’m glad to see you’ve made a friend, Killua.”

“He didn’t give me much choice in the matter,” Killua huffed, his cheeks a little pink. “Anyway, what’s up? I’m assuming there’s a reason you didn’t use the door.”

“When I was flying the perimeter, I noticed you didn’t have Mike with you,” Canary said, falling back into a formal tone. “Instead, you’ve brought a friend. I was wondering if you’ve finally decided to leave home.”

Killua looked at her without expression for a long moment, and then sighed. “I know I can trust you, Canary, but do you really want to do this? You’ll lose your job—not just that. You’d be risking your life.”

“I’m well aware of the risks,” she said calmly. “You’re not the only one who’s grown tired of this family. I made my choice a long time ago, and I’ll stand by it.”

Slowly, Killua smiled. “Alright,” he said. “But you should know, it’s not just me. We’re getting Alluka out of here, too.”

“A-Alluka?” For the first time, Canary seemed caught off-guard, her eyes wide.

“If that’s a problem, then don’t bother helping me.”

Gon felt distinctly out of place witnessing their conversation, which held all the hidden layers of years of history between them. He couldn’t just leave the room, though, so he stood back against the wall, trying to blend in with the stone.

Canary only had to think for a second. “No, of course it’s fine. I just…I’m not sure how we’ll be able to free her from the mirror.”

“I don’t know either,” Killua admitted. “But I’m hoping that between the three of us, we’ll be able to figure it out.” He looked back to where Gon had fallen back against the wall, and grinned. “Hey, what’re you doing? Get over here.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt,” Gon protested, but came over to where they were standing.

“Interrupt what?” Killua said, rolling his eyes. As he sat down, Gon and Canary did too, so they were all sitting in a triangle on the rug. “Time to start planning.”

Killua paused to look over at Canary. “One more thing. We’re friends now.”

Though the words were a statement of fact, almost an order, the tone in which he said it contradicted that. In his eyes was a question.

We’re friends, aren’t we?

“Of course,” Canary said, sounding joyful and serious at the same time. “It’s an honor to be your friend, Killua.”

“Don’t be so formal!” Killua scolded, but he was smiling.

Despite the difficult task that lay ahead of them, Gon didn’t feel afraid or even a little hesitant. He’d follow Killua into hell to save his sisters; he’d do anything to ensure his happiness.

Chapter Text

They’d just finished going over the plan when there was a knock at the door. 

Immediately, Canary turned into her bird-form—Gon still wasn’t used to that—and Killua slipped open the window, where she soon flew out of sight. 

Closing it, he called out, “Who is it?”

“Gotoh,” came the response, and Killua relaxed slightly. 

Since the door was locked, Killua went over to open it, though Gotoh stayed in the doorway, his arms folded behind his back.

“Master Killua,” he said in greeting. “Your father is calling you for a meeting.”

“Cool,” Killua said unenthusiastically. 

He’d mentioned this might happen, so Gon wasn’t surprised. Still, despite Killua’s nonchalance, he couldn’t help worrying a little. All he knew about Silva was that the man was strong, the functional leader of the Zoldycks. Killua didn’t seem afraid of him the way he was of Illumi, but considering his role in the family, Gon disliked the man on principle. 

“See you later, Gon,” Killua said, offering a lazy wave. In contrast to the rest of him, his eyes were intent, the message in them perfectly clear. Sit tight, and don’t you dare do anything stupid.

“Okay,” he answered to both messages. “Have a good talk with your dad!”

Killua went off with Gotoh, leaving Gon alone in his room. 

Gon’s stomach rumbled faintly, and he dug through his backpack to eat the last of the weird dried fruit from a few days ago. The tall grandfather clock in the corner told him it was just past one, and Killua had warned him that dinner wouldn’t be till seven.

I hope Killua gets back soon…

The rug in Killua’s room had an interesting, if morbid, pattern; daggers and skulls interwoven with roses, all in shades of bloody red and palest blue. 

Gon was left with plenty of time to stare at it, because the hours stretched on and Killua didn’t return. The longer he was gone, the more it felt like a rock was sitting heavily in Gon’s stomach. He hated sitting here and doing nothing when he didn’t even know if Killua was okay; the only thing preventing him from going off in search was that Killua had expressly forbidden him to do so.

If I’m called to meet with my dad, I don’t care how long it takes, you better stay put. The Killua of his memories waggled a finger at him. I’ll be fine, but you won’t be if you run into any of my family members, or one of Milluki’s traps. So stay. Put.

Gon knew better than to not listen to Killua when he was warning him about danger, so he stayed put, even though it killed him a little to be so passive. I’d probably just get lost, anyway, he reasoned, but though that was likely true, it still felt like an excuse.

The clouded-over sky outside the windows was a dark blue by the time there came another knock on the door. Gon sprang up at once, hope rising inside him.

But when he answered the door, it was just Gotoh standing there again. Though he worked hard to keep the disappointment off his face, from the look the butler gave him, he failed. 

“Master Gon,” Gotoh said impassively. “It’s time for dinner. I’ll lead you to the dining hall.”

“Where’s Killua?” He demanded.

“He will be meeting us there. If you’ll just follow me, you’ll see him shortly.”

Gon shut up from then on, following Gotoh silently. It might’ve been wiser to try making conversation with the butler, who Killua had marked as a potential ally, but he couldn’t muster the will to do so now. All he could think about was Killua, and the fact that he’d soon come face to face with his friend’s insane family. 

Not just that—he’d have to play nice with them. He’d never been good at hiding how he felt about people, and he couldn’t see himself putting on a convincing act.

In hindsight, he’d been wise to listen to Killua, because he definitely would’ve gotten lost if he’d gone in search of his friend. The hallways of the Zoldyck mansion were maze-like, twisting and turning seemingly without reason. Gon felt like he’d been swallowed up by some tremendous beast; the mountain felt not just alive, but malevolent, like it actively resented his presence. 

I hate you too, he thought to the rocks, and a cold wind blew straight into his face, making him shiver.

Finally, the hallway spit them out into a cavernous room.

The ceiling had to be fifty feet high, and from it dangled stalactites alongside spidery chandeliers, their flames burning an electric blue. The lights cast the entire room in an eerie glow, one which made the people sitting at the overly long stone table appear even creepier. 

At the head of the table was a monstrously large man with long silvery hair that could only be Silva. Next to him sat a tall, spindly woman sporting the most ridiculous fluffy dress and hat combo Gon had ever seen, though the weirdest part of her outfit was her visor, which had one glowing red dot in the middle—so that was Kikyo, then.

On Silva’s other side, a couple chairs down, sat a man who had to be Illumi, with long black hair and a chillingly bland expression. 

Gon’s eyes skimmed over the other two Zoldycks at the table, who must’ve been Killua’s other brothers—one of them large, the other small—because that was when he finally saw Killua, who was seated at the other end of the table, and then he couldn’t look away.

Killua was actually sitting closest to Gon. The only reason Gon had overlooked him at first was his posture; he sat with his elbow on the table, half slumped-over and inconspicuous. 

“Killua!” Gon said before he could think better of it, running over to him. “I was—”

When Killua straightened to look at him, Gon forgot what he was saying, because his friend looked awful. His hair was sweaty, his visible skin bruised and bloody, and a burn poked out of his shirt, creeping across his neck. 

Knowing that must only be the obvious damage, Gon felt sick.

“Yo,” Killua said, like this was perfectly normal.

“You—you’re—Killua. What happened?”

Killua waved a hand toward the table. “Sit down so we can eat.”

Numbly, Gon obeyed, sitting down at the closest chair to Killua. His question had been stupid, in retrospect. He knew what had happened, if not the details. 

Shock was replaced with a burning rage, and he briefly glared at every other Zoldyck, not knowing where exactly to direct his anger. Didn’t they all deserve it, though? What a bunch of fucking bastards…calm down. Don’t flip your lid.

Gotoh and two other butlers he didn’t know stepped forward with trays of food, and everyone started serving themselves, passing around plates like it was just a normal dinner. 

None of the food on Killua’s plate looked particularly edible to Gon’s eyes, though that didn’t stop him from eating it. He looked over at Gon and grimaced, gently pushing the closest platter farther away.

“Sorry, but you can’t eat anything,” Killua said quietly. “I forgot to mention, all the food is poisoned.”

“What?”

Killua swallowed another bite. “They add poison to it. Or else it’s already poisonous, like these baneberries here.”

“They feed you poison.”

Killua looked puzzled. “It can’t hurt me. Thanks to training, I’m immune.”

Not the point! Gon wanted to scream. That’s messed up! He couldn’t say that, though…not here. So instead, he forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Stay calm, stay calm…

A deep voice coming from the end of the table made him look up. 

“Kil has never brought home a friend before,” Silva said, his cat-like eyes piercing into Gon. “Why don’t you introduce yourself to the family.”

Gon smiled thinly. “I’m Gon Freecss,” he replied. “Now tell me. Which one of you hurt Killua?”

“Gon,” Killua hissed, elbowing him sharply in the side. Stop embarrassing me in front of my family, his tone implied. “Shut up. It’s fine.”

Sorry, Killua, but I won’t pretend this is normal.

Kikyo was the first to reply, her tone offended. “How dare you speak to us this way! A guest should know his place, and stay out of private matters.”

Killua’s mother had only said one thing so far, and Gon already wanted to strangle her. “He’s my friend! And how dare you treat him this way? What’s wrong—”

A sharp pinch on the skin of his arm startled him into shutting up, and the following glare from Killua enforced that. 

Sorry, Gon mouthed.

Killua only groaned softly in response, putting his head in his hands.

“Young man,” Kikyo started to say, even louder than before, but her husband interrupted her.

“Killua requested the punishment.”

What?

Gon turned a sharp look on Killua, who didn’t move from behind his hands, like he was pretending none of this was happening. Fair enough; Gon didn’t want to be here either.

“He made a fair argument that Mike’s death was his fault for carelessly letting the dog out,” Silva continued, “and so I agreed to let him take full responsibility for the consequences. You may take it up with him, if you have a problem with that.”

Silva’s words seemed to cast a spell over the whole table, his authority keeping everyone else quiet. Gon couldn’t even find the words to argue, and in the face of what Silva had said, he didn’t know what he’d say anyway.

“Speaking of Mike, how did you manage to kill him? That’s quite an impressive feat.”

Was this man seriously trying to start a casual conversation? Gon could hardly focus past what he’d said about Killua arguing to take his rightful punishment, let alone think of a decent reply to the question.

Killua suddenly stepped on his foot with enough force to make him wince.

Ow, okay, fine.

For Killua’s sake, he’d do his best to salvage this somehow.

“I used the vorpal sword,” Gon said. He didn’t like giving up that information, but he had to say something. And it would probably be a bad idea to lie. “It wasn’t that hard.”

“Hm.” Now Silva was leveling him with an evaluating gaze, like he was trying to imagine how that fight had gone. “And how did you fare against the royal guards?”

Gon tried to not make a face at the mention of them. “I didn’t die,” he said. “So I’d say I fared pretty well.”

Silva nodded and didn’t ask any more questions after that. Nobody else tried to speak to him, either, which was a huge relief. Gon didn’t know how he’d manage to stay civil if he were forced to talk to Killua’s family any longer.

Oddly, the Zoldycks didn’t talk amongst themselves either, eating their poisoned dinner in a frozen silence; Gon wondered if they were always like this, or if the presence of a guest made them quieter. 

After a while of this awkwardness, Killua pushed to his feet, seemingly done despite his still half-full plate.

“We’re done,” Killua announced, his voice coming out hoarse now that he was speaking at a louder volume. Gon immediately stood up with him, relieved to be getting out of here.

Silva nodded in acknowledgement. “Gotoh will show your friend to a guest room.”

Killua stiffened, grabbing onto Gon’s shirt tightly. “No. He’ll be staying with me.”

For several long, stilted moments, father and son stared each other down across the table. 

“Very well,” Silva agreed. “Please make sure he behaves himself during his stay.”

“I already told you, I’ll take personal responsibility for him.”

Killua kept a tight hold on Gon’s shirt, using it to tug him out of the hall—not that he minded. They’d almost made it to the door when a new voice spoke up behind them.

“I’d like to have a chat with your friend, Kil.”

While the voice was pleasant, Killua’s grip on his shirt tightened enough to almost tug him over, and he knew who had spoken before he even looked back to check. Killua, though he stopped walking, refused to turn around. 

“No,” he said, not loudly but definitively. “We’re going to my room now.”

“There’s no need to be so overprotective. I won’t hurt him.”

“I said no.”

“Okay,” Illumi replied, his voice light and casual. “We’ll talk in the morning, then.”

As soon as they got through the doors, Killua sped up into what was almost a run, while still dragging Gon after him. Not that Gon minded being tugged along—Killua had switched to pulling him by the hand, which was more comfortable, and he was happy to be getting away from the Zoldycks faster even if he was almost tripping over his own feet.

When they got to Killua’s room, he instantly locked the door. After a moment’s thought, he even started pushing a dresser toward it, though Gon wasn’t sure what that would do against magical powers.

“Wait—” let me, he was going to say, but Killua had already finished barricading the door. He supposed it was a good sign; his friend couldn’t be too injured if he could do that, right?

Killua still looked horrible, though. He was practically swaying on his feet.

“Hey,” Gon said gently. “You should lie down, get some rest.” He’d offer to treat his injuries as well, but Killua just needed to sit down first.

He shook his head. “Not yet. I gotta shower.”

“Ah, good point.” Gon watched him closely as he made his way to the bathroom. It wasn’t like Killua was limping, and he’d pretty much been running earlier. Still…“Do you need any help?”

Killua shook his head silently and vanished into the bathroom.

A minute later, the shower cut on.

Gon felt a little weird doing so, but he paid close attention to the sound of the water, hoping he’d hear if Killua fell over or something. Fortunately, there weren’t any unusual sounds or shouts, and after about half an hour the water turned off. 

Another fifteen minutes passed before Killua emerged, seeming much more relaxed now that all the gunk was washed away. Above the towel tied around his waist, there were bandages scattered across his whole upper body, and Gon observed them with a frown.

“Now I see why you offered to help,” Killua said, raising his eyebrows. “You really wanted to see me naked, huh?”

“Killua!” Gon looked to the rug, his face burning. “No, I—that’s not what I meant!”

Killua broke into laughter at his expense, and Gon had to endure it for what felt like forever. I guess this is payback for all the times I teased him…well, at least he’s having fun.

“Owww, my ribs,” Killua groaned, finally coming to a stop. “Ugh…that was nice. Your face is like, bright red, by the way.”

“Okay, great! Let’s move on!”

Killua went over to a wooden chest and started rummaging around for something. Gon didn’t know what he was doing, but he kept getting distracted by the muscles flexing in his back. Would it be rude to ask him to put on a shirt?

Yes, it would be, he told himself sternly. This is his room! He can do what he wants.

Still, he was distracted enough that when Killua turned around and tossed something at him without warning, he barely managed to catch it.

It was…a little cloth bag. When he opened it up, it was full of what appeared to be cookies.

“Raspberry chocolate chip cookies,” Killua said in confirmation. “Gotoh made ‘em a while back. The bag is enchanted, so they stay fresh for ages.”

The cookies did smell impossibly good, almost as if they’d just been baked. Gon’s stomach rumbled at the rich scent, reminding him he hadn’t been able to eat any food earlier.

“Thanks!” Gon ate just a couple to start, and then devoured a few more, because they were super good. “These are amazing! Gotoh’s a great baker.”

“Yeah,” he agreed with a small smile. “And there’s not a trace of poison, so there’s no bitterness…Gotoh’s always been soft on me.”

Gon would ask if all the food here really was poisoned, but he already knew what Killua’s answer would be. He pushed away his melancholy thoughts to focus on eating. These remind me a bit of Mito’s chocolate chip cookies…

He missed his aunt, and the warm comfort of their home on Whale Island. Even though Gon didn’t think he could live there again long-term after returning to adventuring, he still wanted to stay with her for a while. At the very least, he needed time to figure out his future…he’d never put enough thought into what he should do with his life.

Gon wanted to bring Killua with him, too, and his sisters. Assuming Killua would agree to come…he looked at Killua now, wondering if this would be a good time to bring it up, only to find his friend was already looking at him. 

Killua spoke first. “If you’re done eating, you should take a shower, too.”

“Really?”

“You smell,” he said bluntly. “And you’re covered in travel grime…I’m not letting you in my bed when you’re all gross like this.”

“Your—um, what?” Gon didn’t quite get it.

Killua just blinked slowly at him like, Are you stupid?

“It’s almost nine now,” he said. “At dinner, I noticed that Illumi isn’t wearing the key around his neck anymore, so we’ll have to search his room…I already texted Canary to let her know we’re going with plan B. Anyway, accounting for that, we’ll need to start moving at 3:00 am to catch them unaware. That leaves only five hours for sleep, and we need to be sharp. We can’t fuck this up. There will only be one chance.”

“Yes, I know,” Gon said. “I just mean, the floor is fine. You don’t need to share your bed.”

“You’re not sleeping on the floor like a dog,” Killua said, crossing his arms. “My bed is huge and it’s a lot more comfortable than carpet. There’s no reason to…” he faltered, looking suddenly unsure. “Unless I make you uncomfortable. You don’t have to—”

“No!” He said quickly, shaking his head. It was actually dumb that he’d gotten hung up on this, considering they’d been sharing a blanket for days now. “You don’t, I just didn’t want to impose. Thank you very much!”

Gon ran away to the shower before Killua had the chance to say anything else, needing a few minutes to get himself together. 

The water was relaxing once he’d gotten it to the right temperature—he’d been half-expecting for the Zoldycks to not even have hot water, so he was glad to be wrong about that. He found that the main difficulty was actually in choosing between the myriad of vibrantly colored and unlabeled bottles that were laid out on a shelf.

There are so many…I don’t even know which does what!

In the end, he went by smell, carefully sniffing each bottle to determine which ones to use.

Once he’d finished showering, he found a bundle of clothes left on the floor for him, which was puzzling only until he realized he’d forgotten to lock the door. Thanks, Killua, he thought as he changed into the shorts and a loose shirt, comfortable clothes for sleep.

The main room was mostly dark when he emerged from the bathroom, the only light coming from a small lamp by the bed. As Gon approached the bed, he noticed something he’d somehow missed earlier.

“Why is your bed so high up?” He found it ridiculous how lofted it was; the mattress leveled out around Gon’s chest.

Killua leaned over, looming over him with a little smirk. “It’s not that high, you’re just short.”

“That’s not true! Your bed is ridiculous!”

“Aw, does the little munchkin need help getting up? I can get you a step stool or—”

Gon shut him up by leaping onto the bed in one movement, which was pretty cool except that he miscalculated a little and half-landed on Killua.

“Shoot! Sorry,” he said, rolling away. “I didn’t hurt you, right?”

Killua snorted dismissively. “As if you could.”

“I mean, since you’re already injured…”

“I’m fine, Gon, jeez.”

“We must have different definitions of fine.”

“Sure,” Killua admitted easily, sprawling back to put his arms behind his head. “But I mean it. This is nothing. It barely even hurts.”

Even if Gon didn’t buy that, he wasn’t going to argue with him; Killua was acting the same as usual, so he really must be used to this. 

He let himself settle down on the bed. It felt like laying on a cloud, and was possibly more comfortable than even his bed at home. Still, knowing what kind of people haunted this place, there was no way he could relax.

Gon couldn’t forget what Silva had said, either.

“Why did you request the punishment? I killed Mike, it’s not fair that you took the blame.”

Killua looked at him like he was being stupid. “Didn’t you hear what else he said? I was responsible for Mike’s escape—I let him out. For that, I already would’ve been punished. What’s a little more?”

Even if Gon could see where he was coming from, he couldn’t stand the idea that some of the injuries on Killua could’ve been prevented.

“I was still the one who killed him,” Gon argued. “So why—”

“Hey, idiot,” Killua interrupted, glaring at him. “Think logically for one second. I heal quickly, have a higher pain tolerance, and they would’ve hurt you worse. They would not have held back with you, and it would’ve made pulling off our plan way more difficult.”

The worst thing was that Gon could see his logic—put that way, it made perfect sense.

“I still don’t like it,” he grumbled in defeat.

Killua reached forward and flicked his forehead. “Good thing you don’t have to like it.” 

Now that he’d given up on that useless argument—it wasn’t like they could go back in time and change things—Gon was left with one question. The question was pointless, too, but he was too curious to not ask it.

“Why did you let Mike out, anyway?”

Killua stared blankly at him for a few moments, then shrugged. 

“I don’t really know, to be honest…there was one night I couldn’t sleep, so I went outside. Mike was just sitting at the edge of the yard, looking at the gate like he wanted out. I have no idea what possessed me, but I opened it for him, and he left.” 

He paused. “It’s funny…I didn’t actually think he would leave. Mike never knew anything different from this place, but I guess even he could dream of something better.”

Gon felt a jolt of remorse; had it really been necessary to kill the dog? He mauled those fishermen, he reminded himself. People could have died—and it wasn’t like you’d known Killua had been sent to retrieve him.

And there was another thing, too.

“I guess it’s good that you let him go. We never would’ve met, otherwise.”

“True,” Killua said with a nod. “And you couldn't have killed him if I hadn’t let him go, so it’s only fair that the consequences fell to me.”

Gon knew that Killua was probably just trying to make him feel better about the whole thing, but the reminder of the consequences had the opposite effect, making rage boil up inside him again. If only Killua’s family weren’t a bunch of superpowered assassins…it just wasn’t fair. 

They were the ones who should be punished, but Gon couldn’t do anything. 

“Nothing about this is fair,” Gon muttered, clenching his fists. “I hate this place.”

“Join the club,” Killua said with a bitter smile. Abruptly, he turned over, so he was lying with his back to Gon. “If our plan succeeds, I’ll never come back here again.”

“It will,” he said fiercely.

“Just go to sleep, Gon. I’ve set an alarm for us…though I probably won’t need it.”

That last part was almost too quiet for him to hear, but he didn’t like what it implied. Concern washed over him, snuffing out the last of the anger.

“You’re not going to sleep?”

Killua reached over to turn off the light, plunging the room into darkness. “I don’t really need to, you know. I’ve been trained to function for days without sleep.”

“But you’re injured! You need to rest. Please tell me you’ll at least try to sleep?”

A soft huff. “Whatever.” There was almost a minute of quiet after that, and then he said, “I’ll try, but I never sleep well at home.”

“Would it help if I sang you a lullaby?”

“Really, Gon?”

“I’m being serious!”

“...Good night.”

“Night, Killua. Sleep well.”

Waking up was horrible.

There was a shrill alarm screeching in his ears. At first he covered them to try blocking out the noise, but he had to give up, since that did nothing. And then he realized it wasn't random screeching; there were actually words in there.

It was a woman’s voice, screaming, “Right this instant Il-Mil-Kal-Killua! You better do it right now or I’m telling your father! Stop ignoring—are you recording me?! Give me that—-Right this instant Ill-Mill-Kal-Killua!”

Over and over, in a terrible, terrible loop.

A hand shook his shoulder just as he was burying his face further into his pillow. 

“Hey, Gon!” Came a too-chipper voice. “Time to get up!”

“Turn it off,” he mumbled. “Please…”

Killua laughed once, a sharp sound that instantly made him feel more awake. “Sure.”

The noise cut off, and Gon sighed in relief as he sat up. Barely a moment later the light was turned on, and he was forced to squint. “What was that?”

“That was my lovely mother. She makes a pretty effective alarm, doesn’t she?”

“A little too effective, I think.” 

Gon didn’t know how Killua was able to capture his mother’s voice like that, but it was too early to have technology explained to him. Besides, they needed to get moving. He just had to ask one more thing.

“Did you sleep okay?”

“Mmhm.” When Gon kept staring at him, he said, “Hey, I got like, two hours of sleep. Maybe even three. That’s not bad for me.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Shut up.”

They both quickly dressed—Gon had to borrow some of Killua’s clothes, since his friend insisted it would be disgusting for him to change back into his own clothes now that he was clean—and then they slipped out the door. The hallway was still lit with those eerie blue-fire torches; Gon supposed they must be ever-burning.

“Okay,” Killua said quietly. “Any moment now, we—”

BOOM.

The stone floor trembled beneath them, and as Gon grabbed onto the wall instinctively, he felt the shockwave ripple through there too.

“Damn, what the hell did she do?” Killua said, sounding impressed. “Well, that should draw all of them out for sure. Let’s go.”

Killua ran silently through the hallways while Gon followed behind, doing his best to mimic his friend’s impossibly quiet footsteps. After a while, they slipped behind a tapestry to enter the network of secret passageways, slowing down to avoid running into any walls in the darkness. 

Without any torches to light the way, it was pitch-black in these halls. Though Killua’s steady footsteps were a guide, it still came as a relief when they emerged back into the main hallway.

The door to Illumi’s room was black granite, skillfully carved with an intricate design of pins and needles. When Killua tried the silver door handle—shaped like a snake—he seemed unsurprised but annoyed to find it locked.

“Tch. Paranoid bastard.”

While Killua quickly got to work picking the lock, Gon took up position beside the door, leaning against the wall, and kindly didn’t point out the irony in Killua’s statement.

The lock gave way and Killua slipped through. “Good luck,” Gon offered, to which Killua nodded before closing the door.

We’ll probably have around thirty minutes, if we’re lucky, he recalled Killua saying. Canary seemed confident she could buy us that much time. Knock once if anyone’s coming, and there’s no need to knock loudly—I’ll hear the slightest sound.

Gon had no way of keeping track of the time, so he tried counting to five minutes, and then estimating from there. Unfortunately, he lost track of the seconds only two minutes in, and after that he had no clue how long it had been. Time felt like it was moving so slowly as he waited there, hoping desperately that none of the Zoldyck’s would walk around the corner.

Stay away, stay away, please stay away…

After an eternity, the door opened, and Killua stormed out. His hair was sticking up wildly, like he’d been pulling his hands through it, and his expression was fierce.

“He fucking—” Killua hissed out a breath. “I don’t know where the hell he put it! I looked everywhere, Gon, and I couldn’t find the damn thing!”

Their original plan had been to distract Illumi and somehow steal the key from around his neck, and the backup plan was to find it in his room. But if the shard wasn’t on Illumi’s person, and it wasn’t hidden in his room…where could it possibly be?

“Maybe he destroyed it,” Gon realized, his heart sinking lower in his chest. 

Killua shook his head and started walking, fast enough Gon had to jog to catch up. 

“It’s powerful magic…he couldn’t have managed that without a lot of pain, and I don’t think he’d go to the effort. But it doesn’t matter if he did—either way, we don’t have it.” He stopped suddenly, his whole body going still. “Gon. I don’t know what to do.”

“We keep going,” Gon replied without hesitation. “It’s too late to turn back now…we’ll think of something else once we get there.”

“...Right. Okay.”

It was like Killua needed to be given an order to to keep going; after that, he continued forward with a rigid, single-minded determination, his pace almost mechanical. Maybe that was why Gon saw the person in the hall a second before he did.

“Killua!” He hissed sharply, but it was already too late by then.

Killua and the figure in the hall were frozen, staring at each other intently. The slight, black-haired figure was familiar from dinner: Killua’s younger brother, whose name Gon was totally blanking on.

“Kalluto,” Killua said—right, that was it. “What are you doing here?”

Kalluto looked pointedly to Gon and then back at Killua. “I could ask you the same question, brother.”

Killua couldn’t say anything to deny the obvious. He seemed to be struggling to find anything to say, all while Kalluto waited impassively, his face impossible to read.

“Please don’t tell Illumi,” he finally said.

“You’re going to let them out, aren’t you,” Kalluto deduced, tilting his head slightly. “Why? They’re locked up for a reason.”

“They’re my sisters,” Killua hissed, clenching his fists.

“I’m your brother,” he replied. “That hasn’t ever meant anything to you.”

Oh, ouch.

Gon was getting the distinct feeling he shouldn’t be here for this conversation, but it wasn’t like there was anywhere else he could go.

Killua seemed at a loss. “Look, Kalluto…I know we’re not close, but it’s not—it’s nothing personal.”

Kalluto raised a brow. “You’ve been avoiding me for years.”

“Yeah, well, maybe that’s because every time I see you, you’re either trailing after Illumi or glued to our mother’s side. I’m not avoiding you, I’m avoiding them. And it’s not like you’ve ever reached out to me before. How was I supposed to know you cared?”

“Ah.” Kalluto blinked. “I suppose…I see your point.”

“Great,” Killua said. “Does that mean you’ll let us pass?”

Kalluto’s quiet seemed less icy, but he still hesitated for another half-minute. Just when Gon was wondering if Killua would have to fight his brother after all, Kalluto stepped silently to one side, allowing them to go by.

Gon thought that was the end of it, until he called after them.

“Killua.”

They both stopped and looked back. Kalluto’s face remained mostly expressionless, though maybe there was something lonely about it.

“I still don’t understand why you’re leaving.”

Killua’s face became complicated at the question. “You’re not going to get it.”

“Tell me anyway,” Kalluto insisted, a hint of petulance creeping into his tone.

“...I got tired, I guess. Living in darkness all the time isn’t appealing once you get a glimpse of something different. There’s more to the world than all this.” He paused, seeming to decide something. “You know, you could try being a little rebellious for once. Run away, make a friend—or join a gang if you want, whatever. Just do something for yourself, see how it feels. Maybe you’ll end up liking it.”

Kalluto said nothing in reply, but his eyes were bright.

“And if you tell Illumi you saw us…” Killua left the statement unfinished, which was probably for the best. It felt like an empty threat; he doubted Killua could actually hurt his brother after finally having a real conversation with him

Continuing down the hallways, they left Kalluto behind. No alarms were sounded, so they were probably in the clear. Still, Killua led them at a slower pace, peeking around corners with a paranoid caution.

“I don’t think he’ll tell Illumi on us,” Gon said softly.

Killua was skeptical. “If you asked me before today who Kalluto’s favorite brother was, I wouldn’t have hesitated to say Illumi.”

“I get the feeling he looks up to you a lot.”

“Hm.” 

As they started climbing a steep spiral staircase, neither of them spoke for a few minutes.

“I hope he listens to me, then,” Killua said quietly.

Soon after, the stairs came to an abrupt end at an unassuming wooden door. Gon expected the door to be locked, but Killua just pushed it open.

The first thing that caught his eye were the windows, which went around four out of five sides of the pentagonal room. Outside, stars hung like glittering jewels in the dark sky—somehow, they’d ascended high enough to be above the endless sea of clouds.

Killua went straight to the single windowless wall, drawing his attention to the central feature of it: an ornate mirror. The mirror’s frame was gilded gold, etched with patterns of roses and thorns, while the mirror itself was a large oval, almost the size of a person. 

Notably, cracks radiated across the mirror from a central point of destruction, where a single piece was missing. The hole was small, just about the same size as the miniature vorpal sword around Gon’s neck.

“Alluka!” Killua called out suddenly, resting one hand on the frame of the mirror. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m here with a friend. We’re getting you and Nanika out of there!”

Gon came up to stand where he was to get a closer look at the gap. It looked strangely dark. When he tried touching the hole, his finger went right through, plunging into what felt like a freezing cold mist.

“Whoa.”

Killua grabbed his wrist and yanked it back roughly. 

“You stupid—don’t touch that!”

Gon frowned. “I just wanted to investigate.”

Killua grumbled something under his breath and then released him. “Look at your finger.”

Upon inspection, Gon’s index finger was strikingly pale, almost bloodless. Now that he was paying attention, the finger throbbed in pain, a feeling like he’d exposed it to freezing temperatures for too long.

“Huh.”

“One second longer and you might’ve lost that finger, you absolute moron.”

“Oops…” 

Gon didn’t know what compelled him to take the vorpal sword from around his neck. Some instinct, maybe. Whatever it was, as he took the tiny sword and held it up against the mirror beside the missing piece, he noticed something remarkable.

Amazingly, the miniature sword was almost identical in both size and shape.

“Look at that!” Gon exclaimed.

“Weird coincidence,” Killua remarked, “but I don’t see how that helps us.”

“Well, maybe it can replace the missing piece! The blade is almost as reflective as a mirror, so why wouldn’t it work?”

Killua folded his arms. “It’s an entirely different material, and a different kind of magic. Why would it work?”

“It’s worth a try,” he argued, and his friend couldn’t say anything to that. They were pretty much out of options at this point.

Gon removed the sword from the chain it was on and carefully began to maneuver it into the gap. It made him think of being a kid, and stubbornly trying to make a puzzle piece fit in a spot that looked perfect and yet wasn’t quite right. The sword kind of fit, but it didn’t want to stay in.

“Come on,” Gon mumbled, pushing harder. “Please work. I won’t ask anything else of you ever again.”

“I don’t think the sword can hear you,” Killua said dryly.

“You don’t know that!”

When Gon gave the sword another hard push, his hand slipped with the force of it, running into the jagged edges of the mirror. As blood began to seep from his hand, something interesting happened. He was still holding the sword in place, but now his blood was filling in the remaining gap, like some weird kind of glue.

The whole thing also started glowing gold, and he turned back to give Killua a victorious grin. 

“I think it’s working!”

Strangely, Killua’s eyes were wide and terrified. “Gon, I don’t know what’s going on. This is completely unknown—it could kill you!”

“It’s okay,” he said. “Here, I’ll—”

Gon meant to say that he’d take his hand away now, but when he tried, he couldn’t. It was stuck to the mirror.

“That’s weird, I can’t

“GON!”

               remove it

                                       AGHHH, IT’S SO COLD!

               What’s going on??

                                                   
                                         
                                                                           Did I fall in the mirror?

                                      I feel dizzy…

   
                   shit!

                                         …

                                          maybe I should’ve listened to Killua…

                     
                      …too late now…

                                                                               …

Chapter Text

It was like emerging from water—suddenly, he could breathe again.

There was a hard surface beneath him: stone. Gon was lying on the floor, that much was clear. He’d…taken a trip through the mirror, and now he couldn’t move. He didn’t think anything was wrong with him, at least. Nothing hurt, his body just felt heavy.

“Killua?”

There was no response to his question, which made sense. He’d figured he was somewhere else now, or his friend would already be right there calling him an idiot.

Sorry, Killua. I guess you were right again…

After a span of time which felt like several minutes, Gon finally managed to stagger to his feet. He stretched out his limbs as he looked around the room, which was in many ways the mirror image of the room he’d come from. 

There were the same five walls, with the broken mirror on one wall and wide windows on the others, and there was a wooden door.

Looking around made him think of one of those ‘spot the difference games’, because there were plenty of subtle changes. The mirror, for example, was fully pitch-black on this end, like a bottomless well. All the stone in the room was a lighter shade, and the door was painted a pale purple rather than just plain wood. Outside the windows was a pastel sky, pink and blue with fluffy clouds stretched across it. 

Gon went over to the mirror and carefully touched it. The surface was repulsively cold, smooth and hard as ice. So I can’t just go back out the way I came in…this place really is a trap.

Well, time to find Alluka and Nanika! Hopefully they’ll have some ideas about escaping…

Gon went out the door and down the stairs to end up in the main hallways of the house. It felt eerie walking through them without Killua at his side. At least he didn’t have to worry about getting caught by any of Killua’s crazy family members—instead, it was the complete opposite situation.

“Alluka?” Gon called out cautiously as he walked. “Nanika?”

The halls rung with silence.

For all that it felt less dangerous, this place was even lonelier than the real Zoldyck mansion. The emptiness in the air was heavy enough to be a tangible thing. He couldn’t imagine being trapped here in isolation for years.

“Alluka! Nanika!”

Maybe they’re outside?

Gon hadn’t looked through the whole house yet, but that would take him hours. He decided he might as well look around outside the house first, since he wasn’t looking forward to inevitably getting super lost in the maze of halls.

He walked right out the gates, which didn’t try to stop him. Strangely, this version of the gates seemed to be made out of multicolored glass, or perhaps crystal. Considering the situation, it was kind of ironic how easy it was to leave.

And then, there—sitting on the edge of the mountain, legs swinging over the immense nothingness of sky, was a dark-haired girl.

“Alluka?” Gon called; it had to be her, right?

The girl’s entire body jerked with surprise, and he rushed forward to catch her in case she started to fall. That wasn’t necessary in the end; she kept her balance and climbed back from the edge on her own, standing up to fix him with an intense gaze.

Seeing her from the front, Gon had no doubt she was Killua’s sister; they had the same eyes.

“Sorry to startle you,” he said, offering a smile at the same time as he backed away several feet to give her some space. “My name is Gon! I’m a friend of your brother.”

Alluka just looked at him sharply, the coldness in her eyes a jarring reminder of the times when Killua had looked at him with that kind of unwelcoming ice, back when they were only strangers.

“Which one?”

Oh, of course. Gon hadn’t been thinking; from what he’d said, he might as well be a friend of Illumi’s. No wonder she was on-edge.

“Killua,” Gon said quickly. “I’m here to get you and Nanika out. Killua’s leaving the family, but he’s not doing it without taking both of you with him.”

Alluka’s eyes grew wide for a moment, hopeful, and then the ice was back. “Why should I believe you? You could be lying about all of that to manipulate me.”

“Um, that’s a good point…” 

Gon was a little stumped, honestly. He hadn’t imagined his first interaction with Alluka going like this, but then, he’d expected to be here with Killua. On his own, how could he prove to her that he was being genuine?

“Is there anything I can say so that you’ll believe me?”

Alluka surveyed him with skepticism. “If you’re a friend of Killua’s, then what’s his favorite food?”

“Dessert!” Gon replied with confidence. “Especially anything chocolate.”

“Partial credit,” she said, waving her hand in a so-so motion. “His favorite is Gotoh’s chocolate birthday cake with raspberry ganache, but you’re close enough that I’ll give you a pass this time.” She paused in hesitation. “I’m not sure what else to ask you, honestly…what’s your opinion on Illumi?”

“He’s a terrible guy and I hate him,” he answered. Alluka made a gesture like, go on, so he continued. “And…I don’t know him at all, but he gives off massively creepy vibes. And, uh…he sucks?”

Alluka smiled the smallest amount, so he must’ve passed that test. “At least now I’m sure you’re not one of his illusions.”

“Wait, are his illusions really that convincing?” Gon hadn’t realized Illumi could fake a person like that. That would be…an exterior illusion? I guess? “Killua told me a little about them, but he didn’t go into the fine details of how they work.”

She wasn’t smiling anymore. “They can be. It depends on how much power Illumi’s willing to put into them. But I don’t—” she stopped talking suddenly, tilting her head to one side as if she were listening to someone else. “...Are you sure? We still don’t know if…okay, fine.”

Turning back to him, Alluka said, “Nanika’s going to say hello now. Please don’t freak out.”

A shadow materialized in the air behind her, white and black swirling together to form the shape of a person. On a surface level, she resembled Alluka, having the same dress and hair…only her face was a stark, featureless white with two black holes for eyes, and another slash of black for a mouth. She was somehow creepy and cute at the same time.

“Hi, Nanika,” he said. “I’m Gon! It’s nice to meet you.”

Nanika’s sort-of mouth curves upward in a smile. “Aye. I am glad to meet you, too, friend of Killua.”

“She’s trusted you from the start,” Alluka explained. “I was…I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t some kind of trick, but Nanika has good instincts. I believe you now.”

“Thank you,” he said seriously. “I promise not to betray your trust.”

“You’d better not, or Nanika will eat you,” Alluka said. 

He was…mostly sure she was joking.

As Alluka looked back to the sky and the distant purple mountains, Gon followed her gaze. While it might’ve been a beautiful view, there was an eerie loneliness to it all the same.

“I won’t miss this place, that’s for sure.”

“How much of it have you explored?”

She pointed to the glass bridge; Gon hadn’t noticed before, but now he saw that it was broken. Only a few feet of it jutted out into the sky, leaving this odd mirror of Kukuroo mountain totally isolated from the rest of the world.

“You’ve been stranded here,” he realized with a pang.

Alluka shrugged, still looking away. “There might’ve been a way down, but I never really tried, to be honest. This world…it’s not exactly real, you know? I’m pretty sure me and Nanika are the only people here, so I didn’t see the point in going anywhere else.” She looked back at him with a sad smile. “And I guess I always thought that one day, my brother would come rescue me.”

“Killua would be here if he could,” Gon said firmly, less in defense of his friend than out of a need to reassure her of that truth. “I don’t think he was able to get in. We didn’t properly fix the mirror, I just…accidentally kind of fixed it with my blood, and then it pulled me in.”

“Your blood?” She exclaimed, giving him an odd look.

“His intent,” Nanika chimed in. “Powerful magic of desire.”

“Magic of desire?” Gon had never heard of that, but then again, Killua never bothered giving him a proper lesson on how all this stuff worked, apart from the illusions. 

“Oh, that would explain it,” Alluka said. For his benefit, she added, “Basically, if you want something badly enough, sometimes you can make it happen. It’s certainly not the most reliable method, but when it does work, it can be devastatingly effective.” She paused briefly before continuing. “And it’s the backbone of Nanika’s powers.”

“Huh…”

Alluka started walking, with Nanika drifting silently behind her, and Gon followed them back into the empty house.

“I’m curious to see how you might’ve changed the mirror by doing that,” Alluka said as they walked through echoing halls. She glanced back with a hopeful smile. “I think your mistake might’ve been a good thing. We could use some creative thinking right now.”

“I’ll do my best!” Gon promised, smiling back at her and Nanika. Looking at them now, he realized something quite suddenly. “Hey, how are you and Nanika…uh, separate? Killua mentioned your whole body-sharing thing.”

Nanika turned her head all the way around to face him while continuing to float forward. Neat trick. “Only separate here,” she said. “Mirror world…has odd rules.”

“We still have our mental link,” Alluka added, “but Nanika’s powers are severely restricted when she’s like this.” She scowled. “Illumi must have known that…it’s a large part of what keeps us trapped here.”

“Oh, I see.”

They climbed up the spiral staircase and re-entered the room Gon had started to think of as ‘the mirror room’. Looking at the mirror now, he had another thought.

“Have you ever tried breaking it from this end?”

Alluka laughed once, startled. “Um, no. That’s an interesting idea, but I’m afraid it would likely have one of two outcomes—either it would trap us here permanently, or break this whole dimension.”

Nanika floated up to the mirror and tapped at it curiously.

“Mirror is part-Gon now,” she said. “New rules apply.”

Alluka looked at her with wide eyes. “You mean…?”

“Aye.”

Gon was pretty sure they were having a mental conversation with their whole mind-link-thing, because he was completely lost. “Uh, what does that mean?”

“It means, forget what I just said—you can break it, and it’ll let us through!” Alluka bounced slightly on her toes, eyes gleaming. “Oh, this is amazing!”

He might not understand how this whole magic thing worked, but this seemed exceedingly straightforward. Just break the mirror—okay! He could do that!

Gon walked up to the mirror and punched it with all his might.

“Owww…”

Damn. The mirror was still perfectly intact, but now his hand hurt.

“Oops, sorry,” Alluka said, cringing slightly. “I should’ve mentioned—it’s still tougher than a normal mirror, so physical force on its own does nothing.”

“I should have figured,” Gon sighed. That would’ve been too easy. “Okay, so what do I do?”

Alluka and Nanika exchanged another too-long glance.

After several seconds, Alluka said, “And you’re sure that’ll work?”

“Aye!”

“Okay,” Alluka sighed. She turned to Gon. “We think that going through the mirror has awakened your latent-magic. If you follow our instructions, we can help you bring it out.”

“I have magic?” Gon didn’t feel any different.

“Most people do,” Alluka said. “It’s just a matter of finding out how to use it.”

“Cool! Tell me what to do.”

“Close your eyes,” she instructed, so he did. “And try to make your mind completely blank. If that’s not possible for you, then just relax and let your thoughts settle into a state of rest.”

No thoughts head empty? I can do that!

…

…

…

…

…

After a minute, he felt something warm inside his chest, a fire nesting inside him. The area of warmth wasn’t hot enough to hurt, but it pulsed like a second heart. He couldn’t tell if it was old or new.

“Wow,” Alluka’s voice said, awed. “Open your eyes, Gon.”

Gon did, and saw that he was glowing, giving off a warm white-gold light.

“Oh, cool!” 

“Now hold your hands about this far apart,” Alluka instructed, demonstrating with her own. He copied the pose, and she nodded approvingly. “Okay, and now you should try to focus the power between your hands…most likely, it will want to take some kind of shape. If that doesn’t work, then we’ll try something else.”

Nothing happened at first. Gon almost moved his hands apart, until he noticed the light was slowly changing. While the time felt longer, it probably just took a few minutes until the only light remaining was a shimmering ball between his hands. 

“Huh,” Alluka said quietly, staring at the light.

“Am I doing something wrong?”

“No, you’re fine…I think it’s letting you choose what you want it to be.”

So it was his choice…the first thing that popped into his head was his trusty fishing rod, but that didn’t feel very practical for the situation. 

A baseball bat? No…a ring? That’s no good. A compass? A knife? Wait, I know! It’s obvious!

Gon remembered the lost vorpal sword, his familiar and trustworthy blade that had seen him through so much. It was the sword that he’d used to fight Youpi, and slay the jabberwocky. It was the last gift Kite had given him. He wouldn’t be here without it.

As he visualized the sword, the ball of light brightened and began to condense into a taller, narrower form. As the glow grew blinding, Gon closed his eyes, only opening them once the afterimage had completely faded.

A familiar sword floated in the air before him. It was the mirror image of his vorpal sword in every way but one; rather than gleaming metal, the blade seemed to be made of light itself.

Gon grabbed the sword with a grin and swung it through the air a few times. Although this sword was a tad lighter than his old one, it still felt familiar and comfortable in his hand.

“Yes!”

Gon had given his sword up without hesitation, pushing down the ache of losing it. A weapon wasn’t worth as much as two lives, so he’d been okay with giving it up, but having some semblance of the sword back…it felt good. 

He barely stopped himself long enough to ask, “Do you mind if I try this out on the wall?”

“Go ahead,” Alluka offered, seeming amused by his enthusiasm.

He swung it at the stone wall and yelped when the sword cut through it like butter. “Holy shit! That’s sharp.”

Gon took the blade back out—the wall was smoking—and carefully tested the edge on his finger. Killua would’ve yelled at him for this, but he was just testing—

“It’s not bleeding,” he said in surprise. He looked closer, disbelieving, but there really was nothing. No blood, no wound. “Um, Alluka? This is gonna look weird, but don’t stop me.”

“What—”

Gon swung the blade across his left forearm, and nothing happened. The sword passed right through him like a sunbeam, and the only thing he felt was a sensation of warmth.

“Wow, that’s incredible.”

So I can’t hurt myself with it? Weird, but super cool.

“That was dangerous,” Alluka chided, hands on her hips, though she wasn’t yelling at him like her brother would’ve been. “You don’t know what it does yet.”

He felt compelled to explain himself fully. “No, but I decided the risk was worth taking. I would give up an arm if that was what it took to free you and Killua from your family.”

Alluka looked startled by the admission, but then she got a weird glint in her eye. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you can recall right now?”

“Killua teased me by saying that I really wanted to see him naked,” Gon said instantly, the memory rushing back with unfortunate detail. 

Wait, why did I say that?? In front of Alluka, no less! 

“He was just being stupid!” Gon added. “It didn’t mean anything! Please forget I said that!”

Alluka just stared at him with an expression of shock, her mouth slightly open. “Are you…dating my brother?”

“NO!” Gon shouted, but for whatever reason he felt compelled to elaborate. “But I’d like to. He’s so amazing and beautiful and—” he slapped a hand over his own mouth to prevent anything else from spilling out.

Stop talking, idiot! What is wrong with you?

“I think I’ve heard enough,” Alluka said. Her grin was more like a smirk, an evil sort of look he was more used to seeing on Killua. “You are in so deep…wow.”

“I don’t know why I said all of that,” he groaned. “Can you please try to forget it? I’m not going to be dating Killua, we’re best friends and I—” he needs to stop rambling. Stop it!

Alluka cleared her throat. “Okay, fine. I’ll hold off on the teasing for now. We have other concerns, anyway. For one, I think I figured out what your sword does.”

“Wait, really? What’s it do?”

“It compels you to speak the truth.”

Suddenly, Gon saw everything he’d just said in a new light. Alluka had asked him questions, and he’d provided completely uncensored and unrestrained answers to all of them.

“You—!” He understood now that Alluka only looked like less of a menace than her brother. “That is so evil.”

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you to be dating my brother,” she challenged, raising her eyebrows.

“We’re not—”

“Not yet, you mean.”

Floating above her, Nanika made a hollow sound that might’ve been a giggle.

Gon sighed loudly. “Shouldn’t we focus on getting out of here?”

“Right,” Alluka said, refocusing. “At this point, it should be simple. Just stab the mirror—if I’m right, that will break the barrier.”

Without wasting any more words, Gon walked over and stabbed the mirror. Golden ripples spread out from where the sword went in, like the surface of a pond. When the ripples calmed, he took the sword out and tried touching the surface again. 

Where before it had been like an impenetrable wall of ice, the mirror now was gentle water. His hand passed through without any resistance, and it even felt pleasantly warm.

He drew it back, giving Alluka and Nanika a thumbs-up. “It should work now!”

“Thank you,” Alluka said, her voice a little shaky. 

“Of course,” he said, stepping off to the side. “Ladies first!”

Alluka stepped forward without hesitation, plunging her head and arms into the mirror, and as if a critical mass had been reached, it sucked her in. Nanika followed immediately after, and finally Gon jumped in, making sure to keep a tight grip on his sword.

This journey felt a lot more pleasant than the last time, that was for sure. Along with the temperature difference, this time it didn’t feel like his brains were being scrambled.

Gon fell out of the mirror onto the floor, and instantly knew he was back in the real Kukuroo mountain. The air felt different, more familiar…and as he got to his feet, further confirmation came as he saw the darker stone walls, the gray storm clouds outside the windows.

And Killua, kneeling on the ground in the middle of the floor.

He was facing away, Alluka crouched next to him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Gon asked, feeling a heavy sort of dread. “Killua, are you okay?”

“He can’t hear you,” Alluka said, gesturing for him to come closer. 

When Gon sat down beside them, he saw at once what she meant. Killua’s eyes were open, but they were eerily blank as he stared into space, unblinking. Whatever he was seeing, it definitely wasn’t the room they were in. 

“He’s in an illusion,” Gon said, looking to Alluka for confirmation.

She nodded tensely. “We took too long getting back…dammit!”

“So how do we get him out of it?”

Alluka looked down to scowl at the floor. “It’s not that easy…usually, they wear off on their own after about a day, but we don’t have time. Or Illumi can break it, but—”

She cut herself off, since clearly that wasn’t an option. At least, Gon couldn't imagine any reason why Illumi would agree to do that. They’d have to think out of the box. What kind of tools did they have at their disposal?

Hey, maybe my new magical sword will help.

 “Let me try something,” he said, and went to draw his sword, only…it was gone? Despite how carefully he’d held onto the sword, it seemed to have vanished somewhere.

“It’s fine,” Alluka said, seeing his concern. “Just imagine it again.”

As Gon held out his hand and pictured the sword in it, light quickly gathered and solidified until he held it in his hands a second later. “That’s pretty cool.”

“Wait, are you going to stab my brother?”

“For a good cause!” He defended, holding up his hand. Admittedly, it did sound really bad when she put it that way. “I thought…maybe that’ll break him out of the illusion? If it works on lies…I don’t know. I was just going to cut his hand a tiny bit and see what happens.”

“You could try it,” Alluka said dubiously. “But I doubt it’ll do anything even if it does work like that. Killua isn’t the origin of the illusion—you’d have a better chance stabbing Illumi.”

“That’s not a bad idea!” 

Gon liked that plan a lot better. Illumi had it coming, anyway.

Except Alluka was looking at him like he was crazy; another expression she seemed to share with Killua. “I wasn’t being serious. Stabbing Illumi is a terrible idea—you’d get yourself killed.”

“You don’t know that…”

“I won’t let you,” she said resolutely. “Killua would be mad if I let his boyfriend die.”

Gon choked on air. “I’m not—”

“Besides, why is your first thought always to stab something? There are other ways to solve a problem, you know. Use your head, Gon.”

Maybe he did tend to default to stabbing things, but in his defense, that usually worked.

“Fine,” Gon huffed. “I’ll try thinking…but what are you and Nanika going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Alluka snapped. Her arms were folded tightly as she glared at the ground; Gon thought he could see tears gathering in her eyes. “I just want to talk to him again. This wasn’t part of the plan.”

Shit.

He’d been so distracted by the situation that he’d forgotten to consider how all of this must be wearing on her. Eight years since she’d last seen her brother, and even now that he was right beside her, he was still out of reach. 

“Hey,” he said quietly, his chest aching in empathetic pain. “It’s going to be okay, Alluka.” He wished there was some way they could reach out to Killua now…but maybe there was. “Is it possible for someone to join the illusion he’s in?”

Alluke frowned thoughtfully. “To make it a shared illusion…” 

She trailed off, staring at nothing: probably talking with Nanika in her head. After a minute of this, her eyes refocused, and she looked back at him with a complicated expression. 

“It hasn’t been done, as far as we know, but Nanika says she can try putting you in. But it could be dangerous. Worst case scenario, your presence could mess with the magic and get both of you stuck in there.”

“Let’s try it,” Gon decided. 

He wasn’t a believer in worst-case scenarios—and besides, what else could they do? Once again, they couldn’t exactly walk up to Illumi and ask him nicely to stop being terrible.

Gon didn’t want to leave Alluka without anything to do, though. She’d only worry. “And in the meantime, you can…” Wait, Canary! Oh no, he’d totally forgotten about her. She’d probably need help—if the Zoldycks hadn’t caught her yet, they must be hot on her trail.

“Canary helped us rescue you by creating a distraction. Can you find her and help her out?”

“Of course,” Alluka said seriously, and closed her eyes.

Something shifted then, the air around her rippling imperceptibly as her skin grew icy pale. When she next opened her eyes, they were only black pits in her nearly featureless face.

Nanika.

Alluka hadn’t told him what to do, but he thought he knew what to say.

“Nanika, can you help me bring him back?”

She nodded, reaching out. “Hand.”

Confused but willing, he gave her his hand. Nanika reached out for Killua’s hand next, and put them together. Gon got the message and intertwined their fingers, even though he felt very awkward doing so. He wished this didn’t have to be the first time they held hands.

“Go now,” Nanika ordered. “Save our brother.”

Of course, he thought, except there was no time to reply. The world was already rushing away, everything going dark.

When his vision cleared, he was somewhere else.

Gon didn’t come back.

Why was Killua surprised by this? Only family stayed; only family could be depended on.

The only sound in the entire forest was the quiet crunching of his footsteps. 

Usually, he walked silently, but in this case the noise couldn’t be helped. The forest floor was littered with thousands, millions of tiny bones, several inches deep in places. A forest of the dead. When the moonlight shone through the occasional gap in the canopy, illuminating the ground in silvery light, it gave the illusion of icy snow.

crunch. crunch. crunch.

Killua felt like something was missing: like he’d forgotten something important. 

Was it Gon? 

No. He’s not important. He means nothing to you.

No. Gon was lost to him, like his sisters…they might as well be dead. It didn’t bear thinking about. Whatever this feeling was, it didn’t matter. He had an assassination to complete. Better to just focus on that.

The woods seemed to go on forever, but almost as soon as he had that thought, the forest came to an abrupt end.

What he was walking across now was a flat, frozen plain. Though his footsteps still crunched on the ground, the sound was softer this time, barely audible even to his ears.

With every step, his breath billowed out in an enormous cloud. At some point he realized he wasn’t wearing much clothing: just shorts, a tank top, and sneakers. So that was what he’d forgotten—winter clothes. He’d gotten used to the cold, at least. Somewhere along the way he’d gone numb, and now it no longer bothered him.

“Killua!”

The call of his name was an unwelcome shock on its own, but what made it worse was the familiar voice: Gon’s voice. Watching this stranger run toward him, Killua felt like he’d been stabbed in the chest. Whoever—or whatever—this stranger was, they wore Gon’s face. 

It was a cruel trick.

“Don’t come any closer,” he ordered, holding up his hand and flexing the fingers into a knife. 

The stranger stopped instantly, hurt flashing briefly across their face. Killua could give them credit for their acting skills, at least.

“Killua, it’s me,” they said softly.

“Sure it is,” he said sarcastically. “How do you know my name?”

“Killua—”

“Either you’re a shapeshifter, or you’re an illusion. So, which is it? I’m curious. I’d like to know before I kill you.”

“You’re not going to kill me,” the stranger said, with a frankly shocking degree of confidence.

The cocky attitude annoyed Killua, and he took a menacing step closer. “And why not?”

The stranger smiled, an expression too bright for their grim surroundings. “Well, first I’m not sure if you can, but aside from that, you’d regret it later. I’m pretty sure Alluka would be disappointed in you, too.”

How do they know about Alluka?

“She’ll never know,” he said thoughtlessly. “She’s still in—” Killua stopped himself from saying the mirror. This person wasn’t Gon. They couldn’t be him. He wouldn’t offer information that could be used against him. “Leave now, and I won’t kill you.”

Even if this stranger wasn’t Gon, that didn’t mean he really wanted to kill someone with Gon’s face. If he had no other choice, then sure, but he’d rather they just fucked off.

The stranger didn’t make any move to leave, staring at him with a familiar intent expression, like he was studying him. Killua hated it.

“Do you…think I’m still in the mirror?” They guessed. “I guess that would make sense. But I’m not! Alluka isn’t either, that’s how I’m—”

“Stop it—stop pretending you’re him!” Their acting was flawless. Killua couldn’t stand listening to it. He couldn’t allow himself to hope this was real; he knew how that would end. “Just shut up! Leave!”

The stranger frowned, and once again it was such a perfectly Gon expression that it hurt to look at, felt like tearing a hole through his chest. How dare he look like that—fuck him. If he didn’t fucking go away soon, Killua was seriously going to kill him.

“I’m sorry, Killua. I don’t want to upset you, but I can’t lie to you either. All of this,” he swept an arm around to indicate their surroundings, “isn’t real. That’s the illusion, not me.” He took a step closer, ignoring how Killua’s hand was still extended, ready to kill. “I promise, Killua. I’m not lying to you. I am Gon.”

Only a special kind of idiot would approach him right now.

Gon?

“Prove it.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself, and he cursed internally as the stranger (Gon?) smiled in response. 

Why am I entertaining this delusion?

“Okay,” he said. “So we first met when you kidnapped me. The very next day, you un-kidnapped me, but by then I’d gotten a little attached. Over the next few days, you told me a little about your family, and I told you about my friends. Then I had to fight the royal guards while you were watching the whole time, apparently, in that weird cloud. After that, you agreed that we were friends, which made me super happy. And then—”

“That’s enough,” Killua interrupted, reaching out to grab his shoulders and squeeze. Solid, real, his senses tried to convince him. If it talks like Gon and walks like Gon…

Logically, who else would know all that? Certainly not Illumi…that was, unless he tortured it out of him. Gon was Gon, though. Too foolish, too loyal and unbearably stubborn; no doubt he was ridiculously resistant to torture. 

Illumi could’ve easily used a needle to brainwash him. There’s no way to know for sure.

Gon just stared at him with big brown hopeful eyes like a dumb deer. Looking at those eyes, it was so hard to believe they could be fake, but…how many times had he thought that before?

Killua remembered too well all the times of waking from an illusion to find his injuries vanished, and himself in a completely different place—blood on his hands, a few times, with no memory of how it had gotten there.

Ilumi had tricked him so many times, and he was about to fall for it yet again. Despite knowing how tremendously stupid he was being, he simply couldn’t help himself.

He just couldn’t give up on his foolish hope for something better.

“Gon,” he said slowly.

At his name, Gon straightened up, like a plant springing back to life. “Killua! Do you…believe me?”

He thought about it for a moment, and shrugged. “Only one way to find out.”

Killua leaned in and kissed him. 

He’d been maybe…90% certain. Still, there had been that lingering doubt; why should this time be any different from the times before?

Now, his doubt melted away like snow under sunlight as Gon kissed him back. There’s no way an illusion could kiss like this. That’s just impossible. This is real. He’s real.

Eventually, it ended, and Killua opened his eyes to find himself in another place. The frozen plain was gone, and he sat on the floor beside—Gon.

Illumi’s illusions were effective enough that Killua had only ever realized the truth of them a handful of times, but each time he did the realization would wake him, just like in a dream.

It had been fake, all of it, except for Gon.

He’d really—just kissed Gon. What the fuck?

“Killua?” Gon said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

That was when he realized they were holding hands, for whatever reason, and Killua yanked his hand away quickly. His face felt hot. It was stupid to find that of all things embarrassing after they’d literally just kissed, but he could admit his brain wasn’t always rational.

Killua cleared his throat. “I’m fine. Thanks for...being there.” Actually, now that he was thinking about it…“How were you there?”

“Oh, Nanika!”

Ah, that explained it.

Gon’s face had gotten closer, and he was just staring at him, with this wide-eyed fascination. Killua should move away—he couldn’t. He could barely think when Gon was this close.

“What is it?” Killua asked, struggling to form the words. Stop looking at me like that.

“Did you kiss me just to test if I was real, or did you also want to?”

Killua scrambled to his feet, needing to put some distance between them. “Do we have to talk about this right now?”

Gon stood too, but at least he stayed where he was. “Yes. I want to know.”

He couldn’t look at Gon anymore, so he looked at the floor. “Stupid…do you really think I’d do something like that if I didn’t want to?”

The illusion, in truth, had been a convenient excuse. 

For the past several days, he’d been plagued with thoughts of kissing Gon. Infrequent at first, enough that he’d brushed them off as intrusive and irrelevant. When the thoughts had only gotten worse after Gon had kissed him on the cheek, he was forced to admit that they might not be a fleeting thing. Forced to realize that maybe he should be paying attention to the weird feelings he’d been trying to suppress. 

Killua would die before admitting this to Gon, but part of the reason he’d struggled to fall asleep last night had been unrelated to his usual insomnia. He’d failed to anticipate the utter distraction of having Gon in the bed next to him.

“I just needed to check!” Gon said with a grin. He was bouncing up and down on his heels, a seemingly unconscious movement. “So can we do it again?”

“No,” Killua said immediately, and Gon let out a sad sort of noise. “Later, okay? We’ve got shit to do, Gon.” As Gon nodded, seeming to recall their circumstances, he looked around, struck by a thought he should’ve had earlier. “Wait. If you got Alluka out, then where the hell is she?”

“Alluka went to assist Canary while I was going after you,” Gon explained. “I didn’t want her to just sit here and worry…do you know where they could be?”

Fuck, Canary. In all this mess, he’d momentarily forgotten about her.

In the best case scenario, Canary had been able to get away, but he was almost hoping that wasn’t the case if Alluka had been sent to look for her. Alluka was far from a skilled fighter. She barely had any training, as Nanika had first manifested when she was still very young.

At least their family had a general policy of avoiding any physical harm or punishment when it came to Alluka—the cowards were too afraid of what Nanika would do to them in return, most likely. Still, he couldn’t help worrying about how his sister would fare up against their whole family when he wasn’t around.

If they hurt her now…I’ll fucking kill them, I swear.

“I wish you hadn’t told her to go,” he said as they started speed-walking down the stairs. It was a possibly inadvisable pace considering the steepness of the spiral staircase, but he couldn’t make himself slow down. “Alluka can’t defend herself against our family.”

“She wanted to do something, I could tell,” Gon replied stubbornly. “And she’s not helpless! I know you’re worried about her, but Alluka is going to be okay.”

He couldn’t actually blame Gon for letting her go. When his sister wanted to help, there was no stopping her. Alluka might not have been trained, but she was still a fighter at heart. 

If anything, Killua was at fault for getting himself stuck in that damn illusion to begin with. He’d still be in there if Gon hadn’t gone and rescued him like some kind of knight…dammit. This was so embarrassing. He should be able to fight his own battles by now.

Brood about it later, you need to focus.

Gon had asked a question; where could Alluka be?

“If they’ve already caught her,” he said, thinking out loud, “she might be in the dungeon…or maybe they’ve both escaped to outside, but that’s absurdly optimistic. Probably the dungeon. Fuck, I hope Illumi hasn’t trapped her in an illusion too, or this might get messy.”

“At least then I could stab him,” Gon muttered.

If he’d thought Killua couldn’t hear that, he was sorely mistaken. “Excuse me? I thought we agreed to not try to kill my brother.”

“I know,” Gon said. He stopped suddenly, and his face screwed up in concentration. Killua blinked in shock as a sword made of light materialized in his hand. Wow. That’s new.

Gon looked up to give him a radiant grin, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his whole body was faintly glowing. “Look! Your sisters helped me make this in the mirror-world.”

“You have magic now,” Killua said in awe. “Cool. What’s it do? And why didn’t you mention this earlier?”

“...I was a bit distracted,” he said sheepishly. “But it’s a super cool sword! I cut myself with it, and it didn’t hurt me at all, but it made me unable to tell a lie!”

“A sword that cuts through lies…so, you think it would work on an illusion.” 

Killua could see the logic there. Stab Illumi with a sword like that, and all his magical lies might crumble. I’ll give him this one, that’s actually quite clever.

Gon seemed to concentrate for a moment, and the sword vanished, along with the glow. “I was going to try using it on you, but Alluka told me not to.”

He took back his internal statement. “Idiot. You need to go to the source of the illusion.”

“That’s what she said, too! Except she was a lot nicer about it…don’t be mean to me, Killua! I’m still figuring out this whole magic thing, you know.”

“It’s just basic logic.”

“To you, maybe.”

Killua didn’t bother with a reply, and they continued walking in comfortable silence. Though he knew now it had all been an illusion, he still keenly remembered how it felt to be without Gon, left alone without any hope for something better. 

The loneliness had ached worse than the cold. It felt good to walk side by side with him once again: more than that, it felt right.

Ideally, they would’ve made it to the dungeon without running into anyone—instead, they turned a corner and ran right into Milluki. 

Isn’t that typical. This huge fucking house and we’ve already run into two of my brothers…I guess I should just be grateful it’s not Illumi.

“There you are!” Milluki said, stabbing a finger at him accusingly. “What have you done, idiot? Letting Alluka out—have you forgotten how dangerous that thing is?”

Killua shoved his stupid brother against the wall, taking a sadistic pleasure in the way he gasped, taken off guard by the attack. “Call her that again and you’ll regret it, asshole.”

“Calm down,” he complained, but satisfyingly his tone was more subdued. “You’re so dramatic sometimes, I swear.”

“Where is Alluka? And where’s Canary?” Despite what Milluki believed, Killua was perfectly calm. Ice ran through his veins. 

“They’re in the great hall,” he replied, which came as a surprise. He’d really been expecting the dungeon.“We’re having a family meeting on what to do about your little insurrection. Mother just sent me to retrieve you, actually.”

A family meeting…this wasn’t good. Truthfully, he should’ve seen it coming. This confrontation was inevitable from the moment he walked through the front doors with Gon at his side.

Killua released his brother and stepped back. “You can walk in front.”

“So you can stab me in the back?”

Killua rolled his eyes. “Do you think I’m a complete idiot? I won’t try to pull any tricks right before a family meeting.”

“Hmph. Just thought I’d check.”

They continued through the halls, this time with a clear destination, but also an unwanted companion. Without words Killua and Gon slowed their pace, until they were far enough behind Milluki to hold a whispered conversation.

“What’s a family meeting like?”

Killua didn’t even know where to begin to answer. “It’s…complicated.” 

He couldn’t imagine Gon would follow along with the rules, either—and it wasn’t like Killua was planning to be an obedient son, but he still had to be careful with what he said. There would be a delicate path to walk to get them all out of here safely. 

Gon didn’t really do delicate…or safe, for that matter.

“Tell me how I can help,” Gon said, his quiet voice a sharp contrast to his burning eyes.

Killua was tempted to tell him to leave. He’d done enough already—Killua should be able to take it from here. And selfishly, he hated the thought of Gon being in the same space as his whole family; dinner the first night had been bad enough. He’d barely eaten out of nerves, cringing every time Gon spoke without thinking. 

He took one look at Gon now, and he knew that he wouldn’t listen to that suggestion. It was just as well; he could probably use the backup.

“Okay,” he sighed. “Don’t materialize your sword until I give you some sort of sign, unless things start to seriously go downhill. Ideally, there won’t be any fighting at all—because to be honest with you, we wouldn’t win.” Gon nodded seriously, and he continued. “Try not to talk too much. Just keep following my lead.”

“I can do that.”

Can you? Killua bit back the unfair question. Perhaps Gon hadn’t been good at staying quiet at dinner, but he’d still managed to avoid doing anything truly disastrous, so he had some tact.

“Good. We’ll be out of here soon, I promise.”

Before long they arrived at the iron doors of the great hall, which Milluki struggled to open. Of course Killua could’ve helped by getting one of the doors, or offering to open both of them himself, but it was far more amusing to watch his brother struggle with the task.

Milluki must’ve known what he was thinking, because he paused to slant him a nasty look. “Having fun?” He hissed. “You won’t be soon—Illumi won’t go easy on you this time.”

“Wow. I’m so scared,” Killua deadpanned. 

The threat of their oldest brother did make his heartbeat kick up a notch, but he’d be damned if he let Milluki see that.

As Milluki finally wrenched the doors open, they walked into the great hall.

Killua had always wondered what the point of this space was. It had always felt archaic and overly fancy, from the ridiculous throne at the head where his father sat to the ostentatious chandelier in the center of the ceiling…more befitting of royalty than a family of assassins.

Killua’s attention didn’t go to any of that now, caught instantly by the two oversized silver bird cages set off to one side that held Alluka and Canary inside them.

Alluka!

The first time he’d seen her face in eight years, and he was seeing it through bars. For nearly half a minute he couldn’t stop staring at her face, just cataloguing all the changes, while she looked back, likely doing the same thing. Her eyes were sharper now, but they held the same stubborn determination they always had.

As much as he hated seeing her confined, at least she looked entirely uninjured.

Forcing his attention to Canary, he winced, as the same could not be said for her. There was an impressive black eye swelling up along with several nicks on her face, while her usually immaculate suit was torn and disheveled. She must’ve put up a good fight.

Canary looked back with a resolute expression and gave a slight nod. I’m fine.

“Killua,” Silva said commandingly, and he looked over to where his father sat on his ridiculous chair. There was a pause meant to intimidate; Killua just thought he looked stupid. “What is the meaning of this rebellion?”

“What, did you think I was just fine with Alluka being locked up forever?” From Silva’s stony silence, he gathered that was a yes. “Well, I’m fucking not! It’s past time she was free—she never should’ve been locked up to begin with!”

“Alluka is a danger to the family,” Silva replied. “That creature inside him is dangerous and uncontrollable—have you forgotten the many deaths he’s caused?”

For all that Killua warned Gon to keep his cool, he was rapidly losing his own. “We’re a family of assassins! All of us have killed more people than her. That’s not what you’re actually concerned about—you just want to control us both!”

“Killua! Show your father some respect!”

Ignoring his mother, Killua kept glaring at Silva, who stared back impassively in return. Show some fucking emotion, will you?

It wasn’t Silva who spoke next, though, but Illumi.

“What do you mean by that, Kil?”

As Killua looked at his brother, memories of the last time they talked came back, all at once.

Illumi walking into the room, seeing Killua alone with the newly intact mirror. Asking him where his new friend was. Killua lying to him; Gon left, he made him go. When Illumi asks about the mirror, he says that Gon left him with a piece of metal to fix it, but it didn’t work. You can’t enter. Illumi tries to, anyway, and the mirror repels him. 

As Illumi turns to go, Killua is relieved for one second until Illumi says he will find a way to destroy the mirror. Clearly, Killua broke the family rules by meddling with it, so it can’t remain whole. He feels absolute terror at that moment, but not just that—rage. 

NO! YOU CAN’T! I WON’T LET YOU—Illumi turns around, reaching toward him, and Killua can’t move, he is locked to the floor, and

Something brushed against his side, and he whipped his head around to see…Gon, looking at him with quiet concern.

I’m good, thanks, he tried to convey, and returned his attention to his family. What had Illumi asked again? What do you mean by…right, that.

“I mean that I never would’ve kept coming back here if not for Alluka,” Killua said. “She’s the only reason I never left this place for good. By keeping her trapped, you’ve trapped me here by proxy. Don’t try to pretend that wasn’t the intention. But I won’t let any of you manipulate me any longer. I’m done.”

Illumi’s face was mostly flat as ever, but Killua thought he could see surprise flash across it, just for a millisecond. Killua didn’t usually push back to this extent. Usually, there was no point in speaking out. All it did was make things more annoying, so he swallowed his tongue…but he didn’t have to worry about the future consequences anymore. 

It was oddly freeing, to just say all the things he’d been bottling up for ages.

“I had hoped you would one day accept your future in this family,” Silva said, which Killua noticed wasn’t a denial. “Your potential is—”

“For the last time, I don’t fucking care.” His father was clearly shocked to be interrupted, and to see him caught off-guard was gratifying. “First, I’m never going to lead this family, and it’s about time you all accepted that. Second: listen up, dad. I want to make a deal.”

Silva’s frown deepened, but he said, “Continue.”

“I’ll take responsibility for Alluka. None of you will have to worry about her anymore—won’t that make things easier? And in exchange, you’ll let both of us, along with Gon and Canary, leave here without any trouble.”

For a few minutes, there was barely a sound in the hall as Silva deliberated. Killua kept his face expressionless and his breathing calm, remaining perfectly still. At his side, Gon fidgeted restlessly, but at least he kept his mouth shut.

Finally, Silva said, “I cannot accept that deal. Alluka…the thing he houses is too dangerous. For the safety of the family, he must be contained. If you wish to leave with your friends, you may, but Alluka will have to stay here.”

Like I would ever leave her behind. You fucking bastard…

“No deal,” Killua replied shortly. He looked at Gon, who was already looking at him, and nodded slightly. It’s time.

Gon’s sword appeared in his hand, forming a lot faster than it had the first time he’d shown Killua, and as the other Zoldycks were still processing this new development, he sprang forward, fast as a leaping frog.

Killua hadn’t needed to tell him to slice open the cages; he was already on it, reducing the cages to nothing more than two piles of twisted, seared metal in just a matter of seconds. It must be an amazingly sharp blade, but to wield it so skillfully, so that none of the razor-sharp metal harmed the people inside…

You’re amazing, Gon.

As his sister stepped out from the mess, blinking dazedly, he ran forward to meet her.

“Alluka!”

They collided in a hug, and as he held her there was so much he wanted to say. I missed you, I love you, are you okay? Regrettably, they didn’t have the time; instead, the first words he said to her were an order.

“Nanika, if we’re not all at the bottom of the stairs in an hour, make Kukuroo mountain fall from the sky.”

The body in his arms became slightly colder as they switched, and from the corner of his eye he could see the icy paleness of Nanika’s face.

“Aye.”

Killua pat Nanika’s head, smiling fondly at the cat-like hum it drew from her, and then he stepped away to look at his father, who was still as stone on his chair.

“We’re leaving now,” he said. “Unless you’d like to test that.”

It was mutually assured destruction on the surface, but they were Zoldycks. They’d all be fine. He was banking on their pride, though it wasn’t much of a bet. They all knew he could’ve asked for much worse. Come on, he thought. Take this out—this is me being nice.

There were a range of reactions among his family. Milluki was muttering up a storm, Illumi’s eyes were dark and furious, his mother was shrieking something again, and Kalluto just stared impassively. Killua ignored all of them, keeping his gaze fixed on his father.

Though Silva’s eyes were narrowed tightly in displeasure, at last he waved a hand. “Very well. You may leave now, with Alluka and your friends.” Killua was already turning to go when his father spoke again, making him glance back. “Wherever you go from here, Kil…I hope you remember that you will always be my son.”

Killua didn’t see any point in stating the obvious. Or was there some deeper, ominous meaning he was missing? Was he supposed to fixate on that final statement and overthink it? Honestly, he didn’t give a shit, so he turned away again without a word.

Gon was standing beside Canary, fussing over her injuries. “Do you need any help?”

“Thank you, but I’ll be fine for now. We need to get going.”

Canary was right—with only an hour to make it to the ground, they had no time to relax. Killua could practically feel Illumi breathing down his neck, too; there was that prickly feeling where he knew he was being watched, but he refused to turn around to check.

Ugh, and he’d have to leave all his stuff behind too. How annoying…though it was a small price to pay for all their freedom, in the end. He could always get new stuff.

Farewell, my favorite turtleneck…

As they walked together out of the hall, nobody followed them. Right when Killua was heaving open the front door, rapid footsteps sounded from behind them, and he spun, instinctively readying himself for a fight. 

“Gotoh?”

The butler was carrying a large backpack, which he handed over to Killua with a slight nod. “I took the liberty of packing some food and supplies for your journey.”

“Thank you, Gotoh,” he said, shouldering the backpack. It was a promisingly heavy weight, and a similarly heavy gratitude settled in his chest. “I hope you won’t get in trouble for this.”

Gotoh just smiled. “You’re welcome, Master Killua, but there’s no need for concern.” He stepped back into the shadows, instantly seeming to dissolve into them. When he spoke next, the words were a faraway whisper, nearly inaudible. “You see, I was never here…”

“Huh. Cool trick.”

As they continued heading out at a brisk pace, he asked Canary, “So did you know he could do that?”

She shook her head slowly. “No, but in hindsight it certainly explains some things.”

They’d made it past the gates of living stone and gotten about halfway along the glass bridge when Alluka stopped suddenly. 

“Alluka? Are you feeling okay?”

“Sorry,” she said, a smile wavering on her face. “I just—I need a minute.”

Killua observed her more closely, and saw that her hands were trembling slightly. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Alluka.”

“It’s—I’m just being stupid.” Killua reached out and grabbed her hands, holding them firmly in his own, and she finally met his eyes. “I keep remembering the last time we were here, everything that went wrong, and I’m afraid…I don’t want to mess it up for us. I don’t know if I can make it down the steps in time. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said firmly. “I’ll just carry you, like last time.”

“Will that be okay? I’m a lot heavier—”

Killua scooped her up, grinning at her startled expression. “Easy. Don’t forget that I’m stronger now, too. This time is going to be different. I promise.”

“Thank you.”

“Killua is super strong!” Gon said, like he was proud of it or something. Weirdo. “Will you be okay on the way down, Canary?”

“Again, I’ll be fine.” Canary glanced at Killua, her expression saying, Is he always like this?

Better get used to it, he thought back at her, and almost snorted at the tired look that crossed her face.

In the end, they made it down with no issue. Killua was so familiar with this path that it really wasn’t at all difficult to navigate it while carrying Alluka, and Gon was faster than the last time now that he was more used to it. When Canary got too tired to keep walking halfway down, she turned into her bird form to fly the rest of the way: much to Gon’s embarrassment, as he’d apparently forgotten she could do that.

It was still a huge relief to make it to solid ground.

Killua set Alluka down, and they started descending the staircase carved into the mountain, with Canary remaining as a bird to conserve her energy. The thick clouds overhead darkened as the afternoon stretched on, turning the dark purplish-blue of a bruise by the time they were stepping out onto the plains. 

After a whole hour of walking, Kukuroo mountain still loomed over them imposingly. The plains were playing their usual tricks, slowing them down, reluctant to let them go.

“It’s doing the thing,” Gon observed. “Maybe we should stop for the night.”

“I’d like to go a little farther.”

He knew their family wouldn’t go after them, at least not this soon, but the shadow of the mountain overhead still made him uneasy.

Then Gon nudged him in the side and discreetly glanced at Alluka, who was visibly drooping. Canary had settled to rest on her shoulder at some point, but still looked like she could fall off if not for Alluka’s hand keeping her in place.

Killua felt a surge of guilt—how had he failed to notice their exhaustion? Alluka hadn’t walked this far in years, most likely, and Canary was still injured. Neither of them had voiced any complaints, but he should’ve been paying more attention.

“Okay. Let’s make camp.”

It was beginning to get dark, anyway.

“Do you think Gotoh packed a tent?” Gon wondered.

“Guess we’ll see.” 

Killua had a good feeling as he began digging through the contents of the backpack, which almost seemed bottomless; he strongly suspected Gotoh had spelled it to hold more than it should be able to fit. There were multiple blankets, food for days, a variety of clothing in different sizes—including his favorite turtleneck, bless Gotoh—and there! Two magical tents, each scrap of cloth the size of his palm.

Thanks again, Gotoh.

Killua threw the scraps down, and two fully expanded tents popped up, each one large enough to perfectly fit two people.

Canary fluttered down from Alluka’s shoulder and transformed back into a person, almost falling over on her shaky legs before Alluka caught her arm.

“Let me look at your injuries,” Killua requested.

“Okay,” she yawned. “But it’s not that bad…”

Of course Gotoh had also packed medical supplies. Killua didn’t know what they would’ve done without him, honestly, though Canary hadn’t been lying about her injuries. The majority were surface-level, and even the more serious cut on her arm was treated easily enough.

“What about you?” Canary asked once he was done, reaching forward to lightly jab at his ribs.

“Me? Nah, I’m good.”

He found it unfair that her and Gon both gave him the same dubious look—he wasn’t lying! Another couple of days and he’d seriously be all good. It wasn’t worth wasting supplies on him at this point.

“What are the sleeping arrangements going to be?” Killua asked the group. While he’d first assumed they’d pair up by gender, he’d also be happy to share a tent with Alluka if she didn’t want to be separated.

Alluka knew what he was asking without him directly saying it, and she waved a hand, saying, “I’m happy to share with Canary.” Her eyes took on a certain gleam he immediately distrusted and she added, “I know you want to sleep with your boyfriend, anyway.”

“What?? I don’t—” His face felt horribly hot, and as if his brain were overheating, it was suddenly difficult to think. “We’re not—I mean—why would you say that?”

Alluka snorted, obviously amused by his pain. “I talked to Gon about you in the mirror-world. Sorry, but you guys really aren’t subtle.”

It made Killua feel slightly better to see that Gon appeared similarly embarrassed for once, his face slightly pink as he avoided looking at anyone. 

“Okay,” he said, doing his best to ignore how Alluka and Canary both seemed close to breaking out in laughter. “So that’s settled. Good night!”

And before either of the girls could make fun of them any longer, he quickly shoved Gon into their tent, zipping up the door behind them.

“Thanks,” Gon sighed, flopping onto the ground heavily. “Your sister is really…”

“I know,” he said. “And you thought I was bad.”

A fist pounded on the door of the tent, startling them. “Hey,” Alluka’s voice said. “Do you maybe want a few blankets? You left the backpack out here, genius.”

Killua opened the door enough to grab the backpack from her, but she held onto it for a second longer, leaning closer.

“For the record, I’m very happy for you both,” she said with a gentle smile.

“...Thanks, Alluka.”

And that was why he could never be annoyed with her for more than a second, no matter how much of a little shit she was being.

“Night, Killua. I love you.”

“Love you too. And Nanika.”

Finally, she relinquished the backpack, leaving them in peace. Killua spent the next few minutes setting up a cozy sleeping area, an easy task with the borderline-insane amount of blankets Gotoh had packed. Even after the girls had taken their share, there remained two blankets for each of them, plus another to share on top, and warm knit sweaters made for decent pillows. They wouldn’t be cold, that was for sure.

Once they’d settled down, Killua turned off the light he’d conjured, though he had a feeling neither of them would fall asleep for a while.

“Your sisters are amazing,” Gon said quietly. “I understand better now why you stayed all those years. They’re worth it.”

“Yeah, they are.” Something occurred to him then. “I never thanked you for saving them.”

“You don’t need to thank me.”

“Shut up, I want to.” Killua breathed slowly, in and out. Inexplicably, he felt like he might cry. Fucking chill out. “Thank you, Gon. All that time, I was useless. I couldn’t do anything. Meeting you was the best luck I’ve ever had…and honestly, I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you.”

“Killua…you don’t owe me anything.” 

There was no arguing with that tone—even if he’d wanted to, Killua wouldn’t be able to find the words. Gon had shuffled closer to him, and with their faces just inches apart it was all he could do to keep his breathing steady.

“Okay,” he managed to reply.

Gon smiled, and then he gasped. “Oh, but there is one thing. Would you return to Whale Island with me? I want you to meet my aunt Mito.”

“I’d go anywhere with you,” he admitted. Dangerous, a voice in his head spoke, sounding like Illumi. I don’t care, he thought back to it. He’d already decided to trust Gon with his life, and he wouldn’t retreat from that decision. “Anyway, I’d like to meet her…and it’s only fair, since you’ve met my family.”

“Great! She’ll like you, I know she will,” Gon replied brightly. “And your sisters, too. Obviously they’re welcome to stay as long as they like, and so is Canary. Mito’s always happy to host my friends.”

“Are you staying there long? What are your plans?”

“Not long,” Gon said. “I don’t know yet exactly, but…I’ve been wanting to leave for a while, even before I met you. Even though I love Whale Island, I don’t think I was made to be in one place for too long. I want to keep traveling around for at least a while.”

“Together?”

Gon looked surprised, and for a heartbeat Killua feared that he’d seriously misread the situation. “Well, yeah…I just assumed we’d be together.”

“That’s what I want, too,” he said quickly. 

Killua couldn’t imagine anything better than traveling freely with Gon and his sisters…it seemed almost like a dream. Too good to be anything but an illusion, but he was completely sure that this was real.

Chapter Text

The trees were twisted and gnarled, their roots like piles of intestines, an illusion amplified by their wine-dark color. There was a chill wind blowing, and sickly greenish light shone from somewhere indistinct—it wasn’t moonlight, that much Killua knew.

It was a graveyard he was in; rows of teeth and bones erupted from the ground, ranging in size from knee-height to almost over his head. Near the center of the graveyard, Illumi sat on a tall femur, his legs dangling loosely over the side.

Killua glanced behind him in search of an escape route. He couldn’t find one. The small area of the graveyard was completely surrounded by darkness, a pitch-black impenetrable curtain he instinctively knew better than to test.

He was trapped.

Accepting this, Killua went over to his brother, tilting his head up in an attempt to see his eyes. The most he could make out were two glowing embers, until Illumi shifted his position and the strange light lit up his pale face.

“Killua,” Illumi greeted. “Good night.”

Killua wouldn’t call it good, personally. “What is it this time?”

“Hm?”

“How real is this? How real are you?”

Illumi stretched out a hand—automatically, Killua jumped back. He paused, tilting his head slightly. “I’m just here to talk, Kil.”

Sure…because his words could totally be trusted.

“How real is it?”

“That’s relative,” Illumi said, which was an obnoxiously vague, typically-Illumi statement. 

Killua would like to take that as proof this was his actual brother and not dream-Illumi. Unfortunately, his brain was intimately familiar with Illumi’s typical behavior, so it actually proved nothing.

“Great, well, I’ve had about enough of this. I’m gonna wake up now.”

“Not so fast,” maybe-Illumi said. As much as Killua wanted to turn around and ignore him, he was somehow locked in place, forced to listen. “Your…friend, Gon. He’s a radiant presence. Someone who’s impossible to look away from, and understandably you’ve been blinded by his light. But you’ve forgotten, Kil…”

Illumi smoothly hopped down from the femur and walked over, every step slow and measured, yet he covered the distance between them in the span of a breath. And still, Killua couldn’t move. As Illumi’s hand dropped down to rest on top of his head, he could offer no resistance.

“You’re from a different world than him,” Illumi murmured, his voice small and piercing, a needle working its way under skin. “Poisoned blood flows in your veins. As far as you run, that will never change. One day, you won’t be able to hold yourself back any longer, and you’ll kill that boy. Sad to say…it’s inevitable. You can’t defy your own nature.”

The air seemed to have thickened, trapping him like a fly in honey. He could hardly breathe. Illumi’s hand rested loosely in his hair, not pulling or painful. It didn’t need to be when his words did all the damage.

“That’s not…” he managed to say. “No. I won’t! You’re wrong!”

“Oh, Kil…” Illumi combed gently through his hair in a pantomime of kindness. “I’m not, but I see this is a lesson you must learn on your own.” He stepped away, finally, and it became slightly easier to breathe. “Just remember that we’ll always be there for you. When you’ve betrayed your friend and find yourself with nowhere to go, come home. We’ll always accept you, Killua, because we love you.”

“Shut up,” Killua said hollowly. He’d scream those words if he could, but he could barely force anything past his closing-up throat. “I’m never going back. You’re wrong about all of it…I won’t. I won’t betray him!”

He’d fallen to his knees at some point, and as he dug his fingers into the dirt, it moved to grab him back, twisting around his hands, his knees, his arms. He was sinking, he was being devoured. 

If Illumi said anything else, he couldn’t hear it, as the dirt swallowed him up completely.

Killua woke up gasping for air, with the feeling of dirt sticking in his lungs.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t underground. Though it felt like dirt should be pressing all around him, the only thing touching him was blankets. Above him stretched the green tent ceiling, patches of sunlight dancing across it.

Just a dream, he thought, but it came with little relief.

Somehow, he still felt suffocated.

“Killua?” He turned his head to see Gon looking at him with concern. “Are you okay?”

His new least-favorite question; unfortunately, Gon seemed fond of asking it.

Killua took a few moments to steady his breathing and replied, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Gon was still doubtful. “It looked like you were having a bad dream…”

Was it a dream? 

Logically, it must’ve been, because now he was awake and it was morning. He just felt…weird, was all. Something felt off. Is this real?

Gon was still looking at him expectantly, his brown eyes glittering amber-gold as they caught the sunlight. Beautiful, he thought, suddenly entranced. 

No, this was reality. Killua didn’t need to kiss Gon again to realize that—though now that the thought had occurred, he kind of wanted to anyway. 

No. Bad idea. If we get distracted and take too long before breakfast, Alluka might catch us.

They’d narrowly avoided that same scenario a few times already…it turned out the hazards of camping with both your partner and your sibling were very real.

“Killua?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he dismissed. “I don’t remember it.”

“Oh, okay.”

It wasn’t a lie. The only thing that lingered was the feeling of being buried, which seemed to be getting worse. 

Increasingly the tent felt too-stuffy, the air pressing too close. He was beginning to feel almost nauseous. Looking at Gon didn’t help, because he kept wanting to kiss him, but he just felt bad for some reason. 

Fresh air, he thought. That’ll help, right?

He ripped open the door and threw himself outside before either Gon could ask him if he was okay yet again or he threw up.

Surrounded by fresh morning air, Killua felt instantly better, the pressure in his stomach easing as he breathed in deeply. It wasn’t cold enough yet for frost in this forest where they’d camped last night, but the air had some bite to it—he could just see his breath as clouds.

Still, this chill was nothing compared to his childhood home.

They’d been traveling for several days now, having left Kukuroo mountain far behind. Despite the distance, there was a certain pull in his gut; he knew exactly what direction to turn that would lead him back to that place. 

He’d always know the way, as surely as if he’d swallowed a compass.

“Killua!”

Alluka’s voice seemed to come from nowhere, making him twitch. She smiled as she ran over, energetic and bright-eyed like she’d gotten a great night’s sleep. 

Killua was envious. While standing in the fresh air seemed to have cured his queasiness, it also made him realize how tired he actually was. He felt vaguely like a walking corpse.

Stupid fucking dream.

“Morning.”

Alluka’s smile faded as she looked over him. “You look half-dead, brother.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Her eyes went distant for a moment, and then her frown deepened. “And Nanika says you smell like grave dirt…”

Seriously? What the hell…

When Killua turned to sniff his own shoulder, he couldn’t smell anything. Hopefully, it was some kind of weird…dream-residue that only Nanika could pick up. He could accept looking terrible, but he drew the line at smelling bad.

“Do you have any idea what’s up with that?”

Killua shrugged. “No clue.” 

It was essentially the truth. And what else was he supposed to say—oh, I think I had some weird dream last night, maybe that’s why? He couldn't even remember anything. 

If he didn’t remember it, it might as well not have happened. His life philosophy.

From the look Alluka gave him, she seemed to know there was more to it, but she didn’t push any further. “Start a fire for us? I want to make some oatmeal.”

“Sure.”

Though Gon’s fires were better-built, Killua was still faster at starting them, for one simple reason—he cheated. All it took was one spark from his electricity, and the pile of sticks went up in flames, no flint or matches necessary.

Canary emerged from the tent she shared with Alluka and thankfully didn’t try to talk to him beyond a tired, “Morning,” too fixated on starting coffee. As she and Alluka got to talking—a largely one-sided conversation—Killua went back to his tent to get dressed for the day.

Gon wasn’t in there, having managed to leave the tent without Killua noticing. Honestly, he was grateful for the opportunity to have a minute alone. Even after he’d gotten dressed, he paused for a minute, letting the tent hide him from view; he needed some time to prepare before actually having to interact with people.

As a bonus, he could hear Alluka and Canary talking from here; he wasn’t someone to turn down a chance to eavesdrop. Shockingly, the conversation wasn’t one-sided anymore. Alluka had apparently succeeded in drawing Canary out before she’d had her coffee, which was a pretty impressive feat.

“A giant fish with lots of legs, huh?” Canary’s voice was amused. “That’s pretty cool.”

“You looked super cool riding it! I wonder if there’s something like that out there…”

“Who knows. There’s a lot of strange beasts, so I wouldn’t say it’s out of the realm of possibility.”

“We should see if we can find it.”

“Okay, sure,” Canary laughed. “Might take us a while, though.”

“I wouldn’t mind. Even if we never found that beast, I know I’d still have lots of fun traveling around with you.”

Whoa. That was kind of…flirtatious. Not just the words, but also the inflection.

Killua peeked around the corner of the tent, suspicious, and for good reason as it turned out. Canary was staring at the fire, clearly bashful, while Alluka grinned at her. His sister often had rosy cheeks, her coloring being less dead-pale than his own, but this was a serious blush.

You’ve only been talking for a week! Killua thought frantically, choosing to ignore his own hypocrisy here—it hadn’t taken long at all for him to develop a crush on Gon, and they’d been complete strangers, too.

Still, there was only so much of watching his little sister flirt that he could take right now, so he chose that moment to stroll into sight, scuffing his boots on the ground to announce his entrance. 

“Morning,” he said flatly, plopping down on a log next to Alluka. She gave him a slightly suspicious look, which he returned with a blank stare. Better say something else. “Have either of you seen Gon?”

“No, actually,” Canary replied, frowning slightly. “I assumed he had to pee, but he’s taking a while.”

“You could go look for him,” Alluka suggested.

And give you two more cozy flirting time by the fire? No thanks.

“Nah, it’s cool. He’ll show up eventually.”

Alluka gave him another look for that, which he found unfair. It wasn’t like Gon was defenseless anymore. With that crazy sword of his, he’d be fine in most circumstances.

“You look exhausted,” Canary said, sharp eyes scrutinizing him with concern.

“I know,” he snapped, and felt instantly bad about it when her eyes went a little wide. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she dismissed. “But would you like to try some coffee?”

Usually it was only Canary and Alluka who had coffee in the mornings, Gon preferring tea and Killua hot cocoa, as coffee was horribly bitter and the green tea Gon drank wasn’t sweet enough for him either. Regrettably, he didn’t have access to any of the quality stuff here, just the instant packets which weren’t as good.

Canary knew he wasn’t a fan of that shit, so he just raised an eyebrow. 

“It’ll make you feel less tired, trust me.”

“We have sugar you can put in it,” Alluka said, nudging his side. “And we can add a hot chocolate packet, too! Make it a mocha.”

“Ugh, fine.”

The girls exchanged a startled glance, like they hadn’t really expected him to agree. He hadn’t, either, but exhaustion hung over him like a crushing weight. His mouth still tasted a little like dirt. If there was any possibility coffee could fix him, he’d take that chance.

Canary poured him a little cup of the concoction when it was ready, and they both watched as he dumped several additional sugar cubes in. Though when he reached for another handful, Alluka put the bag of sugar back in the backpack before he could, shaking her head.

“Save some for the rest of us, brother.”

“Ah…fine.”

Once it was all stirred in, there was nothing to do but give it a try.

Killua stared at the dark liquid for a minute, mildly transfixed by the spiral of steam coming up from it. The steam brought with it a rich aroma; he had to admit, the combination of coffee and chocolate smelled pretty damn good.

He’d always liked the smell of coffee, though—the problem had always been the taste.

“You’re supposed to drink it, you know,” Alluka said, amused.

“I know, shut up.”

Killua took a deep breath and gulped it down. 

Argh, still too bitter! He’d also failed to anticipate how hot the drink would be, and he started coughing as his throat rejected it.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Oh dear,” Alluka said, patting his back sympathetically. “Smaller sip, next time.”

Next time? He’d say that if he had any air to speak. Never again!

“Killua!” Out of nowhere, Gon came running up, and his face creased in concern as he sat down next to him. “Are you alright?”

That fucking question again. 

Killua glared at him. I can’t talk, moron.

Actually, the coughing was beginning to ease now. He took a deep breath, then another, until finally he felt somewhat-decent. 

“Fine,” he said curtly. “They persuaded me to try fucking coffee.”

“Oh, is that all?” Gon seemed relieved. “I thought you were dying for a second there.”

“I am,” he muttered crossly. “I’ve been poisoned.”

“Sure, Mr. Immune to Poison,” Alluka said, thumping his back. “You’re such a drama queen sometimes, I swear.”

“Let me live.”

“Sorry, I thought you were dying from poison?”

Across the fire, Canary was laughing, which he tolerated with grace. And then Gon started to chuckle. Killua turned to glare at him.

“Sorry, Killua, but you really are dramatic,” Gon said, grinning.

“Traitor.”

Maybe he was being a bit overdramatic, but his fucking head hurt. When had his head started hurting, anyway? He blamed the stupid coffee, though the more likely cause was his shitty lack of sleep.

“Does your head hurt?”

Killua was about to ask, how did you know, when he realized he’d closed his eyes and started unconsciously applying pressure to his head. 

“Uh. Yeah.”

He opened his eyes to see Gon looking at him softly.

“Sorry, I won’t laugh at you anymore. Do you need water? Breakfast will probably help—oatmeal should be ready pretty soon.”

Food wasn’t particularly appealing when he felt like this, but at least eating would get the coffee taste out of his mouth.

“Water?”

“I’m good,” he muttered. What he could really use was sleep, though that was currently impossible. It was difficult enough to get good sleep at night.

Killua closed his eyes again anyway, because looking at Gon’s face almost made him feel worse somehow. He looked so concerned about him, which was unnecessary to the point of being ridiculous. Killua had put up with much worse than a bad night’s sleep and a little headache. He didn’t need all this fussing.

“Here, lean on my shoulder.” 

As Gon gently pulled him over, Killua didn’t resist. It was easier to lean on Gon than to keep holding himself upright, and his shoulder made for a decent pillow. 

He didn’t object when Gon started gently petting his hair, either…it felt nice. A lot nicer than when his mother or Illumi would mess with his hair, though maybe that was because he wasn’t worried Gon would suddenly switch up and yank at it.

“So soft,” Gon said quietly. “You’re like a cat…”

“Shut up or I’ll scratch you.”

“No you won’t.”

Killua couldn’t say anything else, because he’d jump off a cliff before using his claws on Gon, and both of them knew it.

After breakfast—he’d managed to eat most of a small bowl of oatmeal—it was time to hit the road, so to speak. 

He wished there actually was a road. Their journey would be so much faster if they had some kind of vehicle. Unfortunately, paved roads were exceedingly uncommon around these parts, being mostly restricted to the more populated regions, so they were shit out of luck.

“You gonna be okay walking?”

“Of course,” he said, standing up quickly to prove his point. The movement made his head lurch with pain, and he hid a grimace. “See? Fine.”

“Okayyy,” Gon said, clearly not believing him.

Killua would have to prove him wrong, then.

That would be easier if his head wouldn’t hurt with every step, but nonetheless, he persisted. Whenever he felt tempted to ask for a break, he’d take a pleasant stroll down memory lane.

You’re not even bleeding, don’t be a wimp. Remember that time you had to walk miles with needles in your feet? Or that time you got attacked by a pack of unicorns and they threw you into a pit of spikes—man, that fucking sucked. This is nothing compared to that.

“Hey, do you need a break?”

“No.”

Gon had stopped walking, along with Alluka and Canary, forcing him to come to a halt as well. He wished they hadn’t stopped. It would be harder to keep going now; without the distraction of continuous walking, the pain in his head was more noticeable. 

“Killua, why didn’t you say anything?” Alluka scolded. “We can rest for a while.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Don’t be so stubborn,” she said. “If it’s this bad, let me help. Nanika can—”

“No way,” he said quickly. “That would be a waste of her abilities.”

Alluka frowned. “I disagree.”

“It’s really not that bad. I’ll be fine.”

“...If you insist,” Alluka sighed. “But then we need to take a break.”

Gon snapped his fingers. “I have an idea.” They all looked at him, and he grinned. “How about a piggyback ride?”

“Seriously?” Killua would like to say he had more dignity than that, but in truth he did not. Mostly, he had another concern. “There’s no point. I’m too heavy for you to carry me for long.”

“Hey, I’m stronger than you think! It’s worth a try. And also, you’re walking pretty slow, so this might actually speed up our pace.”

Killua wished he could deny that, but embarrassingly it was likely true.

“Okay, fine. But don’t blame me if I break your back.”

Gon grinned and gestured for him to get on, so he did. As they set off again, Gon seemed to have no problem walking at a decent speed. This was, admittedly, better than walking on his own. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to relax.

“This is so cute,” Alluka said unnecessarily. “You’re really good at wrangling him, Gon!”

“Thanks!” 

Why were they talking about him like he was some sort of cat?

“I don’t need wrangling.”

Everyone was quiet, like they all disagreed but didn’t want to argue with him when he was acting this pathetic.

“You guys all suck.”

Now that he didn’t need to put all his energy into moving forward, he was more conscious of the noises around him. He’d barely noticed the birdsong before, or the sound of the wind rustling through tree branches. All of the natural sounds of the forest blended in with Canary and Alluka’s quiet conversation, and Gon’s steady breathing, and the crunch of their footsteps on fallen leaves, creating a soothing blanket of white noise. 

My head doesn’t hurt as bad anymore…that’s nice…

…

“Killua. Time to wake up!”

He went from unconscious to wide-awake in a split-second, jumping up and readying to run. 

“Hey, you’re good.” 

Gon set a hand on his shoulder, and only then did he remember what happened before. Shit, I actually fell asleep on Gon’s back. Obviously, Gon had set him down, but it was shocking that he’d managed to sleep even through that.

Killua looked around, taking in the differences in their surroundings.

While they were still in a forest, these trees were much lower to the ground and looked ancient, with their thick trunks and gnarled, mossy limbs. The most striking feature of these trees were their white blossoms, which were piled thick enough on the ground to give the illusion of snow.

Something about the scene was almost dreamlike, especially as more petals drifted slowly down. Several of them were caught in Gon’s messy hair. The light was strange, too...dim and bluish, like—

Was it evening?

“How long was I asleep for?”

“Oh, like three hours,” Gon said casually.

“Three hours? And you carried me for all that time?”

“Mhm!”

Gon seemed rather proud of that, actually. It was…cute. 

Killua found his focus temporarily derailed, unable to look away, and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to poke his cheek lightly.

“And your back doesn’t hurt?”

“Now look who’s fussing,” Gon teased, stepping back as Killua went to jab him again. “Nah, it’s fine. I’ll do some extra stretches tonight, just in case.”

“Wait, where are the girls?” He didn’t know how he didn’t notice their absence immediately—sometimes he found it terrifying just how distracting Gon was for him.

“They went to look for food. Canary says there’s some tasty berries that grow around here.”

Killua still felt off-kilter from sleeping for so long. His headache was completely gone, which was nice, though in exchange his head felt sort of fuzzy and weird. The curse of napping. 

Whatever. At least he wasn’t alone. He trusted Gon to protect them from any danger.

“You could’ve woken me up earlier,” he sighed. “I wouldn’t have minded.”

Gon shook his head very seriously. “Sorry, I couldn’t. You were just too cute! Besides, you definitely needed the sleep.”

He didn’t even know what to say to that, but he was saved from having to come up with a response when the girls came into view. They were walking very close together, he noticed, their hands almost brushing as they talked and laughed.

When Alluka noticed him, her face lit up and she came running over. “You’re finally awake! Look at all these berries we got.”

“Wow,” he said obligingly, peering over the—indeed very full—basket. “That’s a good haul.”

“Right?” As Canary caught up, Alluka glanced over to turn the full force of her smile on her, adding, “You were so smart for thinking of these! They’re delicious.”

Canary rubbed her neck, clearly flustered. “Ah, thanks. Nanika helped a lot, too.”

“She’s super good at finding things,” Alluka agreed.

“What are these called?” Gon asked, picking up a pale-blue berry to roll it in his fingers.

“Sky berries,” Canary answered him. “They’re pretty tart, but I like them. Good for baking.”

The comment made Killua miss Gotoh’s pies. He felt a weird nostalgia already, knowing that he’d probably never eat one of them again.

Honestly, he hadn’t consumed nearly enough sugar for his liking in the past several days, though at least the food was improved from his earlier journey with Gon. There was only so much dried jabberwocky he could stomach.

They walked for a few more hours, the twilight lingering for longer than should be possible. The walk was much more pleasant without a headache, and he was almost disappointed when night finally fell and they had to make camp. They set up their tents at the edge of the forest, which ended abruptly at a flat and seemingly endless span of black granite.

“It looks so smooth,” Gon observed. “Almost like a dance floor.”

“If we have to dance tomorrow, I’m killing someone.”

Gon laughed, all too used to his jokes by now. He didn’t know that there was a time when Killua wouldn’t have been joking. Even with his knowledge of Killua’s past, he still had no idea, really, what kind of person Killua actually was, what things he was capable of.

Fuck, why are you thinking about this now? Killua scolded himself mentally. 

He let Gon carry the conversation as they gathered wood together, listening to his stories about Whale Island. It seemed like Gon missed his home. Killua did his best to imagine the place that Gon was describing, but it was hard to picture somewhere so different.

Tonight’s dinner was fish, freshly caught by Gon and Canary. They had limited seasonings, but the fish still tasted pretty good roasted over a fire. 

After eating, everyone lingered by the campfire, not quite ready to go to bed yet.

Canary was the first to see it, her head snapping up to the sky. Killua followed her gaze, and for a blissful moment of ignorance he took it for a normal bird. Then the bird flew closer, lower, and it became blatantly obvious that it was actually a Zoldyck messenger hawk.

Great, now what?

“Holy shit, that’s a big bird!” Gon exclaimed, eyes wide.

Killua supposed the bird would be a pretty majestic sight to someone who’d never seen one before. Zoldyck messenger hawks were a special breed, as large as wolves and their massive wings tipped with razor-sharp feathers that could slice a throat effortlessly. 

“It’s from our family,” Alluka said softly, eyeing the hawk with a certain wariness as it swooped down to rest on a nearby boulder.

“So, what is it?” Killua demanded, marching up to the bird. “If this is some attempt at persuading us to come back, you can forget it, we’re not—”

The hawk opened its mouth and spoke in Silva’s deep voice. “No, that is not the purpose of this message.”

“It talks?” Gon shouted in surprise.

“Not the animal—my dad is talking through it,” Killua said dismissively before returning his attention to Silva. “What is the purpose, then?”

The hawk blinked once, which Killua read as a sign of irritation. “Kalluto is missing. Do you have any idea why that might be the case?”

Caught off-guard, Killua couldn’t hold back his laughter. The hawk gazed at him judgmentally in the same manner that Silva always did, which made it even harder to calm down.

“Uh, no,” Killua said eventually, catching his breath. A lie, of course, but he wasn’t gonna be a snitch. “No clue. He didn’t even leave a note?”

The hawk shook its head. “Some of his clothing and personal items are gone as well.”

Damn, so he actually did it. Good for him!

“How tragic,” Killua said, but he couldn’t manage to keep a straight face. “You’re not doing a great job keeping track of your children, dad…but I guess we’re all adults nowadays, aren’t we? Maybe it’s time to loosen the reins.”

The hawk blinked again, seeming affronted. “I have not sent Illumi to look for him.”

You mean, you haven’t yet.

“Good, because Kalluto can take care of himself.” Maybe it was the form of the hawk that made it easier to speak his mind; his father’s physical presence had always been overpowering. “A word of advice—if you want him to come back on his own, better to not hold on too tight.”

The unspoken message: like you did with me. 

Silva as the hawk stared silently back, and Killua wondered if he’d heard the message. If he understood. He never had before, so most likely not.

“If that’s all, please leave,” Killua said. “It’s late. We’d like to sleep now.”

The hawk dipped its head in acknowledgement and when it looked up, Silva’s piercing intelligence was gone from its gaze. Killua waved the hawk away, and he watched as it flew off, soon vanishing as the night swallowed it up.

“Kalluto took your advice,” Gon said.

Killua looked away from the dark sky to meet his gaze. “Seems that way.”

“You told him to leave?” Alluka asked, and he recalled she hadn’t heard their conversation.

“Yeah. We ran into him on the way to get you out, and he let us go without telling anyone.”

Alluka blinked in surprise. “Huh…that’s a surprise.”

“It seems that things are changing around Kukuroo mountain,” Canary said thoughtfully. “Perhaps Milluki will be the next to leave home.”

The three of them exchanged a glance, and then they were all laughing—aside from Gon, who didn’t quite get the joke. “He hasn’t left the house in years,” Killua explained for his benefit. “For some reason, he actually seems to like it there.”

“Uh…” Gon looked just as confused as him at the thought. “Good for him, I guess?”

“Okay,” Alluka declared, clapping her hands. “Bedtime.”

Impossible as sleeping seemed with all the thoughts churning in his brain, Killua needed to make sure he rested well tonight. While two nights of bad sleep were perfectly livable, he’d become much more irritable, and he didn’t want to inflict that on his traveling companions.

Tonight, Gon had decided to lay down right next to him, which would either be a help or a hindrance. It was mildly distracting, in the sense that it gave him thoughts about kissing that weren’t very conducive to sleep. On the other hand, there was the comforting warmth of his body—with Gon’s tendency to roll on top of him in the night, it was like sleeping with a weighted blanket that talked in his sleep. 

Against all logic, it was oddly restful to sleep right next to Gon, almost as if his very presence chased away bad dreams.

“How much longer,” Gon asked abruptly, “till we reach the sea?”

Killua did some mental math. “Maybe three more days…maybe four. But that’s if we don’t run into any complications.”

“So next week, probably, we’ll be on Whale Island…” Gon’s voice was dreamy; he sounded like he was half-asleep already. Killua envied him.

“Should be.”

“I can’t wait to see Mito again. And for you to meet her—she’s going to love you.”

Though he’d said something similar before, this time there was a softness and a sincerity to the words that Killua couldn’t move past.

“What makes you so convinced of that?”

Gon blinked, surprised. “Well, why wouldn’t she? You’re kind, protective, smart, thoughtful, the best big brother in any world—and I think you’ve saved my life like, three times at least—”

“Gon, stop it.” If his face got any warmer, it might catch on fire. “You’re so embarrassing. How can you say all of that?”

“It’s easy,” Gon said, blinking at him stupidly.

For you, maybe. Killua couldn’t imagine putting into words what he felt about Gon. It was all a jumbled mess in his head, sure to come out wrong if he ever tried to voice any of it.

“She’ll love you because you’re easy to love,” Gon said, out of fucking nowhere.

Killua turned around to face away from him, unwilling to continue talking. He wasn’t ready to consider the implications of what Gon had said. The longer they knew each other, the more he was in awe of Gon. He was kind, brave…maybe not the brightest, but he had his own kind of intelligence that shouldn’t be underestimated.

More than anything, he was unwaveringly good. 

Gon was from a different world than him, a creature made from sunlight and love. Killua was…not that. He had blood on his hands, and he didn’t even care about it, didn’t feel anything about it really. Gon would care, if that was him—he’d even felt bad about killing Mike.

Maybe Killua used to care about that kind of thing…who knew. He honestly couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt in control of his life. All his memories from before Alluka was locked away felt hard to grasp, and strange: almost like they belonged to another person. 

For so long he’d just wanted to leave, but it had felt impossible. Now they’d managed it, and he didn’t know what he wanted to do next. The reality of escape was more stressful than any of his daydreams, and he didn’t know why the blank future that lay before him felt so terrifying. 

Given freedom, he didn't know what to do with it; maybe he despised himself a little for that.

What’s wrong with you? You should be happy.

Fuck, he was tired of feeling this way.

“I can hear you overthinking,” Gon said quietly, patting his shoulder. “Go to sleep, Killua.”

“You don’t know anything,” he muttered. 

Still, Gon’s words cut through his murky thoughts like light through dark water, and just like that, he could breathe a bit easier. His mind settled after that. Still, even as he drifted into sleep, he couldn’t escape the thought that compared to Gon he was barely anything. 

Having actually gotten a good amount of sleep, Killua felt way better than he had the previous morning. Unfortunately, today was still gonna suck: as was the nature of walking across a monotonous, seemingly endless granite plain. And to make matters worse, it was foggy as shit for no reason, which enabled the illusion that they’d be walking eternally.

Boredom left him with too much time to think, and he was relieved when Gon started talking, breaking the dreary silence that had fallen over their group.

“Did you sleep better last night?”

“Yeah, I slept great.”

“Oh, good! But let me know if you get another headache or something. I’d be happy to carry you again.”

Alluka snickered, and Killua shot her a look that she returned with an innocent smile.

“Thanks,” he said to Gon, “but that won’t be necessary. I still can’t believe I even fell asleep on your back. That was a new low for me.”

Gon gave him an odd look. “It’s okay to depend on people, you know.”

“Fifteen year old Killua would be absolutely disgusted to see how far I’ve fallen.”

Canary snorted, and when he looked over she said, “Fifteen year old you was a little brat. Why are you letting him bully you?”

Killua’s memories of that time were pretty fuzzy, but he had a feeling Canary was right. Three years after the failed escape attempt had meant three years without seeing his sisters, and he’d felt their absence like a black hole in his chest. For a while around then, he’d done some stupid, reckless things, acting impulsively without any care for the potential consequences.

He hated to even admit it to himself, but he’d probably be dead if Illumi hadn’t fixed his behavior in the end.

“I wish I’d known you then,” Gon said.

“Trust me, you don’t.”

That was something to be grateful for—he might’ve killed Gon if they’d met back then. Even as a hypothetical, it made him feel sick to think about. 

“You needed a friend then, too.” Gon said stubbornly. Determination mixed with sadness as he looked at him, and Killua looked away, unable to stand it. “I wish I could’ve given past-you a hug…”

“I probably would’ve stabbed you, moron.”

Alluka glanced between him and Canary. “Were you really that bad?”

Worse.

Canary stayed silent, letting him answer. “I missed you and Nanika a lot, so I did some stupid things.”

He was still staring into the fog, so he missed it when Alluka came over—suddenly, he was being hugged. Well, he wasn’t going to complain about it.

“Love you, brother,” Nanika said, voice muffled in his shoulder.

He patted her head. “Love you too,” he said to both of them.

As they went back to walking, Alluka said, “Can you tell us a story from around then?”

“Alluka…”

“It’s not fair that we never got to see you in the embarrassing teenager phase. I want to know what you were like at fifteen.”

They’d both missed each other's teenage years; it really wasn’t fair. To distract from the hole that tore in his chest at the thought, he said, “Fine, but you go first.”

“Story time!” Gon chimed in, like a little kid.

“Okay,” Alluka agreed. “But mine is going to be super boring, just warning everyone.” She cleared her throat dramatically and began. “When I was fifteen…or maybe I was sixteen…it’s really hard to keep track of time in a mirror dimension, okay. Anyway, when I was probably fifteen, I got really bored one day and I decided to count all the stones in the front-facing exterior wall of our house. Guess how many?”

They all stared at her in unified silence for a second—nobody had been expecting that. 

“Guess!”

“Um,” Gon said. “10,608?”

“Wrong!”

Canary guessed 15,842, and Killua guessed 9,565.

“The answer is 10,202,” Alluka answered. “It took me like, a month to count them all, so I’ll never forget that number.”

“Yay, I win!” Gon cheered.

Killua frowned at him. “How? We were all wrong.”

“Yeah, but I came the closest. I think.”

“I almost had it too.”

“Gon wins!” Alluka declared, with a shit-eating grin. “That means he can go next.”

Gon blinked. “Oh, are you sure? I didn’t do much when I was fifteen.”

“Gon,” Alluka said seriously. “Literally anything you did back then was more interesting than the story I just told everyone.”

“Oh, well…” Gon trailed off, having fallen in the trap of not wanting to be impolite despite agreeing with her. “Okay, let’s see. There was this one time when I accidentally found these weird old coins when I was weeding the garden. My friend Leorio was visiting at the time, and he got excited because he thought they were probably really valuable. So we took them into town to get appraised, but the appraiser guy didn’t have any idea what they were.”

Killua had a hunch about those coins, but he wouldn’t say it yet.

“And then later,” Gon continued, “All these weird things started happening around Leorio! First a ladder fell on him, and then it started raining suddenly but only over the two of us, and then he almost got attacked by a foxbear in my backyard. After he fell off a cliff and almost drowned, we realized that maybe it was the coins causing him to have bad luck, since he’d been carrying them around in his briefcase that whole time. So we threw the coins into the sea and I said a prayer, and after that nothing else happened.”

“See? That was way more interesting than my life,” Alluka sighed.

“I felt kind of bad for Leorio, though,” Gon said, scratching his neck. “I had a weird feeling about those coins from the start, but he was just so excited.”

“Your friend sounds like even more of an idiot than you,” Killua commented. Over Gon’s weak protests, he said, “I bet those coins come from our continent.”

“Really?”

“What did the coins look like?” Canary asked.

“Um, from what I remember, they had this weird monster on one side…it was part-lion, part-snake, and part-eagle, I think. And the other side had an eye.”

Killua exchanged a glance with Canary. “Cursed coins,” they agreed.

Since Gon looked like he was burning with curiosity, Killua elaborated. “Cursed coins come from the ruins of an ancient kingdom far to the west of here, and all of them were stolen from tombs. That’s probably why they give bad luck to whoever holds them. The coins are also used for indirect assassinations by amateurs, since bad luck is often lethal around here. Your friend Leorio wouldn’t have lasted a day if he’d had those coins on this continent.”

Gon had an unusually thoughtful look on his face. “I wonder how they got to Whale Island in the first place.”

Good question, actually.

“Ging!” Gon exclaimed a second later, snapping his fingers.

It took Killua a few moments to place the name. “Your deadbeat dad, right?”

“Mhm,” Gon said, while Alluka and Canary looked on with curiosity, neither of them having heard the name before. “He dropped me off on Whale Island when I was really young, and he must’ve had the coins on him then. I guess he was careless, and they fell out of his pocket or something…”

“Or he buried them for you to find,” Killua pointed out. 

That was the first possibility Killua had thought of: which might’ve been uncharitable, but all he knew about Ging was that he’d left Gon to gallivant all over the world. A guy like that wasn’t someone who should be trusted without reason.

“Hm, that might be true,” Gon said. He didn’t look at all offended by the possibility, just contemplative. “I wouldn't be surprised if he’d left them as a test, since he also left me a letter that basically said, ‘catch me if you can!’ The letter was a big part of why I left to look for him, actually.”

If Killua ever met this guy, he might end up punching his face in.

He kept the thought to himself, figuring it was better not to get into the topic while Alluka and Canary were right there. 

Alluka kind of spoke for him, anyway, by wrinkling her nose and saying, “Isn’t it…kind of bad parenting if he did leave them for you? Though I’ll admit, I don’t know what’s normal when it comes to parents.”

Killua shrugged. “Likewise.”

Gon still deserved better, in his mind.

They looked to Canary next, who shrugged. “I never had parents. But do you think he knew the coins were cursed?”

Admittedly, that was a good question. Killua had just assumed Ging had known, since what kind of person wouldn’t figure that out after carrying the coins for a while? Then again, this is Gon’s dad we’re talking about…maybe the guy’s just an idiot.

“It doesn’t really matter to me, either way,” Gon said.

Alluka clapped her hands. “Well, that’s enough talking about Gon’s weird dad. Who’s going to go next?”

She was staring intently at Killua as she said that, and he dropped his gaze to the granite. 

“I’ll go,” Canary said, because she was a lovely person. “When I was fifteen, a group of travelers made it all the way up to the gates. Nobody is allowed past the gates unless they’re accompanied by a family member,” she added for Gon’s benefit, “so I kindly asked them to leave. And when they didn’t, I made them.”

Though Canary seemed to be finished talking, Alluka and Gon both wanted more details.

“How many? How’d you fight them off?” Gon asked.

“Yeah, tell us more!” Alluka added.

“Okay,” Canary said, bemused. “There were…twelve of them, from what I recall. And I just used my staff. It wasn’t awfully difficult to defeat them, and after I knocked them out I threw their bodies off the mountain.”

“What made them risk going up there?” Alluka wondered. “It’s certain death.”

That much was true. Even if the travelers had somehow managed to make it past Canary—which no one ever had as far as he knew—then they would’ve had to reckon with the living wall of stone. Beyond that lay Mike, another certain death…not to mention Gotoh.

“They were seeking revenge,” Canary answered. “Killua had killed the leader of their group, and they were quite mad about it.”

Oh shit…those guys.

“Sorry about that, I guess,” he said belatedly.

Canary laughed. “Don’t be. It was a good workout.”

“You’re so strong, Canary!” Alluka gushed. “I wish I could’ve seen you kick ass.”

Eleven year old Alluka never swore—on the occasions when Killua did, she’d always look at him with this wide-eyed curiosity. He still wasn’t quite used to it yet, hearing these words from her. His sister wasn’t eleven anymore. She’d grown up, and he had missed it.

He’d slowed without realizing, his steps lagging behind. While Alluka didn’t notice, continuing to talk excitedly, Gon fell back to walk with him and gave him a curious glance.

“You good?” Gon whispered; well, his version of a whisper, which was just a low voice. “Because you kind of look constipated…”

“I’m not,” Killua hissed back, and when Gon just looked more concerned he hastily corrected himself. “I mean, I’m fine. And I’m not constipated.”

Gon followed his gaze to the girls, who had fallen into their own conversation, Alluka waving her hands enthusiastically while Canary chuckled. “They’re getting along really well, huh? Does it make you feel weird?”

“What? No. Why would it.”

Even if Alluka was flirting with someone who appeared to feel similarly, all that was absolutely none of his business. She wasn’t a kid anymore, she was allowed to flirt with people. And Killua wasn’t going to be like Illumi—he wouldn’t smother her with overprotective love. 

The way Gon raised his eyebrows said liar, but at least he didn't call Killua out on it.

“What are you two hanging back there for?” Alluka called, and they both walked faster to catch up. “Also, it’s your turn, Killua. No getting out of it.”

“Great,” Killua sighed, and reluctantly he cast back into his memories of those years in search of something he could share that wouldn’t be too much of a downer. “...There was this one time when I got in a fight with dad. I was pretty upset afterwards, so then I got drunk on the roof. And I almost fell off, too…it’s pretty funny in hindsight.”

“I remember that,” Canary said unexpectedly. He gave her a don’t say anything more kind of look, and she blew right past it. “You forgot to mention this was during a snowstorm. The whole roof was covered in ice.”

Alluka gave him a scolding nudge on the shoulder. “Brother! That was stupid.”

“I told you I was an idiot then. What were you expecting?”

“Considering your family’s training, I have no idea how he was even able to drink enough to get drunk,” Canary added unhelpfully, giving him a considering glance.

“I think the alcohol was poisoned,” he admitted. “Milluki’s doing, probably…he likes his little pranks. Tasted like rat poison.”

“You knew and you kept drinking it anyway?” Alluka said, like she couldn’t believe it.

Killua didn’t get why they were all looking at him like that. It honestly made his skin itch, and through gritted teeth he said, “So what? I knew it couldn’t kill me.”

He had the sudden urge to run, just get some distance between him and everyone else. 

If not for the soup-thick fog, he might’ve, but he wasn’t an idiot kid anymore. Running off into fuck-knows-what by himself would be fucking stupid, and irresponsible. So he was stuck, trapped under their well-meaning scrutiny that asked him to consider his past actions. 

Killua didn’t do that kind of shit. As much as possible, he kept moving on without ever glancing back; that was the only way he knew how to live.

Nobody talked for a while after that. Though it was probably only a few minutes, the time felt longer, as if the too-heavy air dragged the seconds into hours. It was almost too thick to breathe.

“I’m glad you’re so hard to kill,” Gon said, and something about his voice made Killua have to look at him. “If I’d never met you…thinking about that makes me sad.”

Killua swallowed, struck by the sincerity in his eyes. Part of him wanted to argue with the sentiment—after all, if they’d never met, Gon would’ve been just fine. He’d still be on Whale Island, most likely, living a peaceful life there. A safe life.

You think Gon was made for a peaceful life? Come on.

Maybe peaceful was the wrong word, but he had a hard time believing Gon’s life was that much better because of him. 

Gon was quiet now, and it felt strange. He had to say something.

“Well, you don’t have to think about it,” he said awkwardly. “I didn’t manage to get myself killed then, and I’m a lot less stupid now. So don’t—don’t waste your time worrying about me.”

“You’re never a waste of my time, Killua.”

Fucking hell. Once again—how could he just say shit like that?

“What a sweetheart,” Alluka praised, thankfully saving him from a response. “Hold onto this one, brother. And also…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you to talk.”

“It’s okay,” he replied. Talking about himself might be supremely uncomfortable sometimes, but it was also unavoidable. They were both trying to catch up on lost time.

They talked about other, lighter things for the rest of the walk across the plain—mostly it was Gon who was talking, sharing stories about Whale Island while Alluka asked him endless questions. She seemed very excited to go there and meet Gon’s family. Killua just hoped it lived up to her expectations. There was no way Gon’s aunt could dislike Alluka, was there?

Overthinking again. Maybe she won’t like you, but she’ll love Alluka. How could she not?

And what about Nanika?

Stop thinking so much! Fuck. It’ll be fine.

The day seemed to take forever, but as the fog became bluish-purple with twilight, they finally made it to the end of the granite plain. Another forest grew here, though this one was mostly composed of evergreens, towering pines. While the thick blanket of fog had been left behind with the granite plain, little wisps of it still drifted through the trees, along with tiny dancing lights.

“Fireflies?” Gon wondered, reaching out toward a light that quickly twirled away to avoid him.

“Of course not,” Killua replied. “Those are wraith-lights. They’ll lead you to your doom if you follow them. And be careful—staring at one of them for too long will hypnotize you.”

“Aw, but they’re so pretty.”

“The prettiest things here are often the deadliest.”

Gon looked at him and smiled. “Shouldn't I be worried about you, then?”

Killua shoved his shoulder, but Gon just laughed, the little shit. “If you keep talking, then yes.”

“Can you guys stop being gross for one second?” Alluka said loudly. “We need to find somewhere to camp for the night.”

“We’re not being gross,” he protested. It wasn’t like they were making out in front of her, for fuck’s sake. They were just…talking.

“Sure…”

After another minute, they entered a small clearing. There was barely enough room for both their tents, which ended up being squished together, and there definitely wasn’t room to build a campfire. Nobody was particularly hungry, so it was fine. Killua passed out snacks from the backpack and after eating the group retreated to their separate tents for the night.

“Ugh.” Gon flopped onto their bed as soon as it was made, starfishing across it. “Today was exhausting.”

Killua shoved at his limbs to make room, lying down next to him. “Yeah.” Then his brain caught up to what Gon had said. “Wait, you’re saying that? You, Mr. Endless Energy?”

“It’s not endless…” Gon sighed. “I guess I just miss home a little.”

“Well, we’re almost there.”

“Yeah! Are you excited?”

Killua didn’t think excited was the right word for the messy churning in his stomach when he thought about meeting Gon’s family. Anxious was more like it.

“Uh, sure.”

Gon saw right through him, apparently, because his eyes were knowing as he said, “It’s okay if you’re nervous.”

“I’m not nervous,” he denied. “Your family can hardly be more difficult to handle than mine.”

“It’ll be fine,” Gon declared with complete assurance: he thought it must be nice to have so much confidence in something. “Don’t worry about it!”

“I’m not.” Killua was sick of the topic, so he changed it. “Where do you want to travel after Whale Island?”

“Hm…somewhere on the mainland. I’d like to come back here someday, but not yet.” Gon didn’t voice it, but Killua wondered if he was also thinking it would be better to stay farther away from Kukuroo mountain for a while. “Oh! I know. I’ll take you to meet my friends. I need to see how you and Leorio get along, that’s going to be hilarious.”

“The cursed-coins idiot?”

“Mhm! But usually he’s smarter than that, I swear.”

Privately, Killua doubted it. He supposed he’d have to make up his own mind later.

“And then I’ll have to track down Kurapika…” Gon was saying, mostly to himself. “We’ll have to meet up with Bisky too! I want to show her my magic.” His eyes gleaming with mischief, he added, “And I bet Bisky will be willing to tell me how your meeting her actually went.”

Killua made a face. Ugh, not the hag. 

Though to be honest, he was already resigned to seeing Bisky again. Gon could definitely use more training from her; she’d most likely kept her powers hidden the last time Gon had trained with her, but as a new magic user, she’d be an invaluable teacher for him now. As much as Killua…hadn’t gotten along with her, he could admit she knew her stuff. She might even be a good teacher for Alluka, as well…

His thoughts were interrupted as Gon continued listing names he vaguely remembered hearing a while ago. “...and Palm, and Ikalgo—oh, I bet you’ll like him—and Hanzo, and—”

“You know way too many people,” Killua interrupted. “I’m not meeting all of them.”

Gon laughed briefly, not offended in the least. “That’s okay! There are only a few I really want you to meet, anyway.”

“Oh. Good.”

The humor in Gon’s face faded, replaced with something more melancholy. “I just wish…there's one person I would love to introduce you to.”

Going off the phrasing and the carefully subdued pain in Gon’s voice, Killua presumed they were dead. 

Oddly, he found himself surprised by this. Until now, Gon had seemed like someone untouched by the shadow of death. He wondered what happened to this person Gon had cared about, and then a horrible thought struck him.

Fuck. What if I killed this person? I couldn’t have, right? But—

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Gon nodded, clearly taking it as acknowledgment of his grief—which it was, but it was also an apology for being so selfish. And possibly an apology for something much worse. Do I ask? It’s not like I usually recall the names of the people I kill—there’s just been too many. Fuck.

It would be wildly inappropriate to ask what had happened, and besides, he didn’t want to make Gon revisit any painful memories. Gon had been so careful with him, patient and forgiving. He wouldn’t repay that kindness with such utter selfishness.

Still, something compelled him to ask, “What was their name?”

Gon was quiet for a little while, seeming lost in memories. “Kite,” he said eventually. “His name was Kite.”

The name didn’t ring a bell, but that wasn’t proof of anything.

“Thanks for telling me.”

Gon nodded, still seeming a little absent-minded. “He was…actually, I’d rather not talk about him now. If that’s okay with you.”

“Of course,” Killua rushed to say. “It’s—take your time. I don’t mind if you never tell me more.”

He was such a fucking liar.

“I’ll tell you all about him one day,” Gon said, giving him a soft smile that was more subdued than his usual. “It’s just a bit of a long story, and it’s getting late.”

Killua wasn’t in any hurry to sleep, wary of having another weird dream, but Gon was right. It’d be stupid for them to stay up any later, especially since it was so easy to lose track of time whenever they got into conversation.

“Yeah,” he agreed quietly. “Night, Gon.”

“Goodnight, Killua.”

Killua extinguished the floating light he’d set up for them and turned onto his side, trying to clear his mind for sleep. No dreams tonight, please, he requested his brain—for all the good that would likely do. 

It was somewhat of a relief to know that Gon would tell him about Kite one day. Killua needed to know if he was responsible, and Gon needed to know even more. He had the right to know if he’d been kissing his friend’s murderer.

If Killua had…if he’d killed Kite, this person who was clearly so important to Gon…that would be the end of it. In no world could they remain friends after that—their relationship would be irreparably ruined. Killua would have to leave his life.

When you’ve betrayed your friend and find yourself with nowhere to go, come home.

Not a chance, he thought disdainfully at the voice, which sounded suspiciously like his older brother. Even then, there’s still Alluka…as long as she wants me around, I’ll stay with her.

She’ll get tired of your overprotective hovering eventually, another voice whispered. She’s not a child anymore. What about when she wants to travel separately with Canary?

“Shut the fuck up,” Killua whispered viciously. 

Next to him, Gon was completely still, his deep breaths signaling he’d already fallen asleep. For the hundredth time, he wondered at how easy it seemed to be for him. Killua made himself match Gon’s breathing in an attempt to do the same, but it still took hours before his mind finally came to a rest.

Chapter Text

Nothing much happened during the next couple days of travel.

Despite that, Gon started to become a little worried about Killua, who’d been weirdly subdued ever since the day they’d crossed the granite plain in a way that reminded him of early-Killua. In the first few days they’d known each other, he’d been much quieter and more closed-off, his emotions difficult to read.

It was unsettling to see some of that return, but at least Killua was still talking to them. He responded to Alluka’s teasing with his usual grumpy attitude, and still took part in conversation as they walked, even if sometimes he seemed distracted.

While Gon tried asking him if he were okay a few times, every time Killua only brushed off his concern. Which was completely normal for him, but Gon still wished he’d be more open to talking about how he felt. Killua seemed allergic to any show of concern, which was honestly understandable considering his upbringing, but it was still frustrating to deal with.

Killua just seemed weighed down by something lately, and Gon had no idea what it was. It drove him crazy to not be able to help. 

Three days after Killua started acting weird, they crested a hill and the ocean suddenly came into view, turquoise water gleaming through gaps in the pine trees. The wind carried the smell of salt over to them, and Gon breathed deeply, savoring the scent that felt like home.

“Look at the sea!” Gon exclaimed happily. “It’s so close!”

“Sure is,” Killua said, his tone entirely unenthusiastic. Gon tried not to let it affect him. 

“Do you think we can make it to the shore before dark?”

“Probably.”

Not only did they make it to the beach before dark, they arrived just in time to watch the sun sink below the horizon. 

Beautiful, he thought in awe. The sun was a shockingly vibrant red-orange, while the sky was dyed a deep reddish-pink. He’d never seen a sky quite like it before.

“What an amazing sunset,” he said.

Alluka nodded in agreement, her gaze not leaving the sky for a second. “It’s so pretty!”

Killua and Canary, on the other hand, were exchanging a grim look. 

“Do you think we’ll have time if we head out now?” Canary asked.

Killua shook his head. “I doubt we even have an hour until it starts.”

Canary sighed. “What horrible timing.”

Before Gon could ask, Alluka beat him to the punch. “Care to tell us what you guys are talking about?”

“Right, sorry,” Killua said. “Alluka, you remember acid rain, right?”

“Oh,” she said, eyes going wide. “That’s why the sky looks like that. It’s been so long, I’d forgotten…”

“When you say acid rain,” Gon started.

“Yep, it’s literal acid,” Killua confirmed. “Won’t kill you instantly or anything, but it burns. You definitely don’t want to be out in it for too long. And it’ll draw monsters to the surface of the sea, so we shouldn’t set out until it stops.”

Gon thought this land was utterly fascinating, and he still wanted to explore more of it with Killua one day. All the same, he wished this place wasn’t always trying to kill them.

They quickly set up the tents a good distance from the water and got settled in for the night, forgoing a fire. It turned out to be a good thing they’d set up camp when they did, as not even an hour later the rain began. 

Gon couldn’t see the rain inside the tent, of course, but he could hear the gentle patter of it on the roof. Along with the usual rain-noises, there was an odd kind of hissing that came with it—maybe the sound of the rain slowly dissolving the sand of the beach.

He frowned as a thought occurred to him. “The tents will be okay, right?”

“Of course,” Killua said, seeming completely assured. “Wouldn’t be good tents if they weren’t acid-proof.”

“I get what you mean, but that’s a really weird thing to say.”

“Hm. If you say so.”

They settled down early that night, neither of them up for much talking. At least the rain made it easy for Gon to get to sleep: even with the faint hissing, the sound remained familiar enough to be soothing. 

In the middle of the night, something woke him up.

Gon wasn’t sure what had woken him at first. The sound of the rain was the same, a constant tapping on the roof. If anything, it had gotten more intense, but it still wasn’t that loud.

A flash of movement caught his eye, and he looked over to see Killua sleeping restlessly. From the way he twitched, it was obvious he was dreaming. It was equally obvious that he wasn’t dreaming of anything good.

Though it was too dark to see any details of his face, as Killua started talking in his sleep, he could hear exactly what he was saying. 

“No…” Killua said in a strained mumble. “No. Won’t do it. I won’t! Don’t…stop it!”

Gon couldn’t listen to this a second longer. Even if it meant Killua wouldn’t get any more sleep, he had to wake him up. 

Reaching over, Gon gently shook his shoulder.

The movements that resulted from this action happened so fast, his brain couldn’t follow the chain of events. All he knew was that suddenly Killua was leaning over him, one hand holding his arm in an iron grip while the other, turned knife-sharp, was held at his throat.

Killua’s eyes were wide-open and the look in them was feral, devoid of any recognition. Gon shouldn’t be able to see his face so clearly, but it glowed an eerie blue from loose electricity crackling in the air around them now, the miniature lightning making Killua’s hair float wildly. 

Pretty, he couldn’t help thinking, though it really wasn’t the time for that line of thought. Ironically, Gon wouldn’t mind being in this position in any other circumstance. Even Killua holding him at…knife-hand-point wasn’t the real issue.

What was much worse than that, what truly made him worry, was seeing Killua look so completely unlike himself, all traces of his personality absent.

“Killua,” he said quietly, careful not to move an inch. “Hey, you’re alright. It’s just me, okay?”

For several long moments, nothing changed—and then, slowly, Killua’s eyes refocused, blank ferocity replaced with confusion, recognition, and shock. 

Killua leapt off him as swiftly as a startled cat, retreating backwards until he physically slammed into the tent wall. 

Gon sat up, giving him the most reassuring smile he could muster. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, Killua—it just looked like you were having a bad dream, so I woke you up.”

“I—I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize—Killua!”

Though Killua’s voice had been shaky, and he’d looked skittery as hell, Gon still hadn’t been expecting him to zip open the door and dart outside into the rain.

The fucking acid rain.

Gon didn’t think before running after him. There was no way he would catch him, but he got lucky when Killua slipped briefly on the wet ground, the momentary lapse allowing him to grab onto his wrist. 

“Let me go,” Killua insisted, tugging weakly away—as if he couldn’t break out of the grip in an instant if he actually tried. He was still so much stronger than Gon; he only stayed out of courtesy. 

Though the acid rain already stung as it hit him, like little pinpricks of fire on his skin, Gon kept his firm and useless hold on Killua’s wrist, refusing to move away.

“No.”

“Idiot, just let me go!” Killua was pretty much yelling, but he sounded more desperate than angry. “I don’t want to hurt you, Gon!”

“You’ve never once hurt me.”

Killua laughed, a single time; it sounded more like he was choking on something. “Yeah, well I almost did, in there. Are you willing to bet that will never happen again? Next time you might not be so lucky.”

“So I won’t wake you up anymore,” Gon reasoned. It seemed like an easy fix to him.

Evidently not to Killua, who ignored his point entirely. “Please go back inside.”

He shook his head. “Not without you.”

Killua’s eye twitched minutely. “I’m not—I’m just going to sleep in the woods for the rest of the night. I’ll be fine. I’m good at finding shelter.”

“Whatever you find, it won’t be as good as an acid-proof tent,” Gon countered. “You’re always calling me an idiot, but now look who’s being stupid?”

“Argh! You’re so fucking stubborn!”

Says the guy who refuses to come back inside the tent to escape the acid rain, he thought.

The pain was becoming less-ignorable by now; Gon was pretty sure that some of the stuff dripping down his face was blood. Ow. Whatever. He’d dealt with worse.

“Please, Gon.” His voice was so defeated, and it was a different kind of pain to hear him sound like that. “I don’t like seeing you get hurt.”

“That makes two of us, then,” Gon replied. “I don’t like seeing you get hurt either.”

Killua looked down, and as his whole body slowly started to sag, Gon could see the exact moment the fight drained out of him. “I…sorry. Okay. Let’s—let’s go in.”

Not quite trusting that agreement, Gon still kept a grip on his hand all the way back to the tent,  but Killua offered no further resistance.

Back inside the tent, they both sank down to the ground, and Gon couldn’t help his relieved sigh at the reprieve from the horrible rain. Maybe his skin still throbbed, but at least they weren’t getting any new burns. 

Killua quickly conjured a ball of light, which settled to float right above their heads. He looked at Gon with a pinched sort of expression. Gon imagined he must’ve been making a similar face back, because Killua looked kind of awful. 

Still, he didn’t even want to imagine what Killua might’ve looked like after a night out in the rain in some shoddy shelter.

An unexpected anger rose in him at the thought. Gon swallowed it down, focusing his attention on the backpack. 

Where are the medical supplies…why are there so many pockets in this damn thing? This definitely has more space than a normal backpack.

After watching him fumble around for half a minute, Killua silently grabbed the backpack and pulled the supplies from a pocket he hadn’t even noticed.

“Thanks,” Gon said.

“I’m—”

“If you’re going to say sorry, you can just shut up now,” Gon said, the words coming out harsher than he’d intended. Killua didn’t try to speak again; he looked the same way he would when Alluka would scold him. 

Somehow it was amusing to see him all contrite like that. It almost brought a smile to his face, but looking at the burns on Killua’s skin made his amusement vanish quickly. He quietly insisted on treating Killua’s injuries first, and then Killua did the same for him. 

By the time they’d wrapped that up—literally, with both of them covered in bandages—Gon was dead-tired, but despite that he was determined to address the issue now. Appealing as sleep was, he refused to let this fester…more likely than not, Killua would just pretend this hadn’t happened once it was morning. 

“So, care to explain what the fuck that was?”

Gon had meant to word it better—sue him. He was tired.

“Uh.” Killua looked so lost that it should’ve been funny. In actuality, it was just kind of sad. “I don’t really know how to explain it…I guess I freaked out a little.”

Gon carefully did not say ‘you think?’ He stayed quiet, and gestured for him to go on.

“I had a fucking dream about my brother and…some other stuff. You woke me up, I almost killed you, then I freaked out and tried to run away.”

Well. That was a start, at least.

“Makes sense,” Gon agreed. “There’s one thing I don’t get, though. Why do you think you deserve to be in pain?”

“What?” Killua stared blankly, confused and taken aback. “But I don’t. Why would you—I don’t think that.”

“Really? Because your actions don’t seem to reflect that.” 

Even though Killua looked like he was considering running back outside just to escape the conversation, Gon refused to let up. There were a few times in the past when he’d been…really dumb, and Mito had to talk some sense into him. 

It was uncomfortable to be on the other end of this, he knew, but Killua needed to hear it.

“You don’t give a shit about your own pain,” he said, trying to sound firm without being too forceful, like his aunt. “You care so much when I’m hurt, you’d do anything to protect Alluka, and you were so considerate when Canary was injured. So why can’t you spare any of that kindness for yourself?”

“It’s—” Killua paused, grimacing. “Shut up. It’s different.”

“How? In what way?”

That was enough to force Killua into silence for a minute. Clearly, he was thinking hard; Gon could almost see the cogs in his brain moving to manufacture some bullshit answer.

Finally, he said, “It’s not that I think I deserve it, alright? I’m just used to pain, it doesn’t bother me that much, but it’s different when someone else is hurt. That feels a lot worse.”

Oh…that made sense, actually.

“I get where you’re coming from,” Gon said. “Not the first part, I mean—but it is worse to see the people you care about get hurt.” Killua looked briefly vindicated, before he finished with, “So you can imagine why I got kinda mad at you earlier.”

While Killua might’ve been emotionally dense, he was far from stupid, so Gon let him come to that conclusion on his own.  

“...I’m pretty stupid, huh?” Killua said with a sigh. Gon declined to comment. “I think I get it now, and I’m, uh, sorry for worrying you. I’ll try not to do that again.”

“Thank you,” Gon said sincerely, and finally he let himself do what he’d wanted to do all along, which was pulling Killua into a hug. Even that hurt his raw skin a little, but he didn’t care. From how Killua returned the hug, he didn’t mind either. 

After what felt like an eternity, they were finally lying down in bed, with Killua extinguishing the floating light. Though Gon could’ve fallen asleep right then, somehow in the dark he could still feel Killua gazing right at him.

“Are you…” he was briefly overtaken by a yawn. “...staring at me for a reason?”

Killua’s breathing hitched, and then he sighed. “While we’re still talking about…feelings…I guess there's been something on my mind. Lately.”

“Out with it.” Gon’s fuzzy brain connected the dots a moment later. “Wait, are you about to tell me why you’ve been acting weird for the past couple of days?”

“I wasn’t acting weird.”

“You totally were, though.”

“Shut up or I’m not saying it.”

“Sorry!” Gon mimed zipping up his lips.

He stared attentively at Killua, waiting. Killua sighed again, an exaggerated sound, and then he was quiet for almost half a minute. Right when Gon was about to say something else, he finally spoke.

“Would you still think I don’t deserve pain if I was the one who killed Kite?”

Of all the things…Gon could never have seen that coming. How absurd.

Shock and exhaustion tipped him over the edge, and he couldn’t help laughing, even though it really wasn’t appropriate at all.

Killua, killing Kite; what a terrible joke. 

What got him to stop in the end was Killua saying, “Gon?” His voice was tentative, even a little afraid, and Gon felt a bit bad when he realized that for all Killua knew, he’d been laughing maniacally as a precursor to revenge-attacking him or something.

“Ah, sorry. I haven’t changed my mind, but it doesn’t matter.” He’d leave it there, but Killua could probably use more reassurance. “I was there when Kite died, so I know you weren’t responsible for his death.”

“Oh,” Killua mumbled, sagging in obvious relief. “Cool. Sorry for prying.”

“I decided to tell you that on my own,” he said firmly. He didn’t regret it, either, even as the memory flashed behind his eyes. Luckily, Killua made for a nice distraction. “But why did you think that you killed him? I mean, wouldn’t you know?”

Killua snorted. “You think I kept track of every person I killed? There were far too many.”

“I see…that makes sense.”

There was a short pause before Killua said, seeming resigned, “Does nothing faze you? Most people would consider that statement a red flag, you know.”

“Wouldn’t it be more of a red flag to keep a long list of names?” Gon wondered. “Like those weird guys who keep a count of how many people they sleep with.”

“The murder on its own would be enough to deter most people,” Killua said dryly.

“Oh, well…are you planning to kill more people?”

“Nah. I’m quitting the business. I’ve been sick of it for a while, anyway.”

“Okay! I don’t have any problem with it then.”

“...This really feels like the kind of thing we should’ve talked about sooner.”

“Things worked out, didn’t they?”

Killua didn’t have any clever reply for that, which meant Gon had won. He allowed himself a smug smile.

“Goodnight, Gon.”

“Night, Killua. Sweet dreams!”

He could barely hear Killua mumble, “Not a chance of that.”

“Is it lullaby time?”

“Do I look like a baby to you?”

Gon’s thoughts were suddenly and violently derailed. “I bet you were the cutest baby.”

“I doubt it. Aren’t all babies ugly?”

Many were, but he couldn’t imagine Killua ever not being cute. 

“Damn,” he muttered. “I should’ve grabbed baby pictures before we left Kukuroo mountain.” He was half-joking, but he couldn’t help being curious. Did the Zoldycks even take pictures of their kids, though?

Before he could ask that, Killua spoke. “You wouldn’t have been able to—all family photos are kept in a safe in my dad’s office.”

“That’s…so paranoid, what the hell.”

“You don’t know the kind of magic that can be done with a photograph of someone,” Killua said, in his stupid idiot voice. “Possession, mind-reading…even time travel, or so I’ve heard.”

“Wait, time travel is real??”

Killua yawned. “It’s way too late at night for that conversation.”

“Hey, you can’t just drop a bomb and not elaborate!”

“Goodnight, Gon.”

Despite the distraction of wondering about time travel, sleep came quickly in the end. Gon was just too exhausted to stay awake for long.

Pleasantly, the rain had stopped at some point overnight. The morning sky was fresh and clear, with only a few scattered clouds that were pink as cherry blossoms.

It was very nice to be able to have a proper meal over a fire again. Honestly, Gon had almost forgotten about their injuries acquired last night, until Alluka confronted them at breakfast.

“What the hell, guys?” She said, gesturing to their many bandages. “Did you get into a fight last night or something?”

“Or something,” Killua agreed, clearly reluctant to share what actually happened.

Gon was about to do it for him, except then Alluka looked between them, eyes wide, and said, in a scandalized half-whisper, “Was it…sex?”

Both of them were instantly struck speechless. 

Killua appeared utterly mortified, his whole face flushed as he stared fixedly at the ground,  which really wasn’t helping them beat the allegations. Gon could feel that his face was warm too, but unlike Killua, he mostly felt amused. 

This is why you should be more straightforward, Killua!

Gon held in a laugh and answered, “No.”

Alluka sighed in relief. “Oh, good.” Looking at her brother, she added, “If you didn’t do anything, then why are you all embarrassed?”

“Shut up!” Killua finally managed to look up from the ground, though his complexion hadn’t recovered at all. “Why would you even think—how do you—what kind of things do you think we’d be doing to look like—fuck. Never mind. Please don’t answer that.”

Alluka was obviously stifling laughter behind her hand, while Killua looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him. It must be rough, having little sisters, Gon thought sympathetically. 

Canary coughed lightly. “So, what happened?”

“Killua decided to go for a little stroll in the rain,” Gon explained. “And then I joined him.”

“What?” Alluka said sharply, turning a fierce glare on her brother, who wilted under the force of it. “Explain. Why would you do that?”

“I—” Killua paused, and Gon could guess he’d just stopped himself from saying I don’t know automatically. Wise choice. “Woke up from a bad dream, almost killed Gon, freaked out. Gon talked me back in.”

“You didn’t ‘almost kill’ me,” Gon objected. “Didn’t we go over this?”

Killua sighed. “Right, whatever…but you have to understand, from my perspective, I was about to kill you for a second there.”

Alluka snapped her fingers, drawing both of their attention back to her. “Work out your relationship shit on your own time. And Killua…” the glare had returned. “Don’t do something that stupid ever again!”

“Don’t worry,” he said, “I already got the full lecture from Gon. But I promise, I’ll try not to.”

While Gon had a feeling the siblings would talk about it more later, for now at least Alluka let it go. “Okay, good. Moving on, Nanika and I would like to heal you guys.”

“Oh, thank you,” Gon said, for some reason surprised. Maybe it was because it had been a while since he’d seen Nanika come out, but he’d kind of forgotten they could do that.

“Just heal Gon,” Killua said. “I acted stupid, so I can put up with the consequences for a few…why are you all staring at me? Stop that right now.”

In a silent consensus, they’d all decided to stare at him until he saw the idiocy in what he was saying. Gon didn’t even blink once, letting his face communicate everything he wanted to get across to Killua.

Hey, remember what we talked about last night? Can’t you just let your sisters help you?

“Fuck, fine,” Killua mumbled, giving up. “Whatever.”

Alluka clapped her hands together. “Yay. Switching now.” She closed her eyes, and Nanika emerged. 

Nanika went over to them, but paused before taking their hands. “Brother,” she said to Killua, who practically snapped to attention. “Be good. Don’t make us sad.”

Gon couldn’t help giggling a little—a Nanika lecture, wow. Killua shot him a brief dirty look before turning back to his sister, bowing his head. 

“I’ll do my best, I promise.”

“Love you, brother.”

“I love you too.”

Nanika looked at Gon next, and seemed to smile. “Thanks, Gon. For helping.”

“Of course,” he replied. “I’ll always help Killua!”

Finally, she looked over to Canary, who seemed startled for a moment until she remembered at the same time Gon did that Nanika needed someone else to make a wish. Gon supposed he or Killua could do it, but maybe that wouldn’t work as well? He still didn’t really get how her powers worked.

“Um,” Canary said. “Nanika, could you heal both these idiots?”

Gon objected to being lumped in with Killua in this particular circumstance.

Nanika nodded, saying, “Ai.” She took both their hands, and Gon closed his eyes against a blinding flash of light. When it receded, he felt instantly lighter.

Though he’d mostly grown used to the constant ache of the burns, now that the pain was gone, it was amazing how good he felt. He peeled a bandage off his hand and stared in wonder at his completely unburned skin. Maybe they shouldn’t have used so many bandages, actually…oh well. 

“You’re amazing, Nanika!” He exclaimed. “Thank you!”

Nanika didn’t reply. Her eyes closed as she swayed on her feet, slumping over. Killua caught her at once, lifting her into his arms.

“Healing wipes them out more than anything else,” he explained, gazing at her sleeping face with both gratitude and guilt. “That was why I wanted her to just heal you. One person would’ve been less tiring.”

“Neither of them mind the cost,” Canary said, shaking her head. “They’ll just be sleeping for a while. There’s no logical reason to not accept their help.”

Killua had no reply to that, probably because she was right.

“One boat, or two?” Canary said briskly, moving on.

“I think it would be wise to combine them, just in case we hit a storm on the way.”

“Sounds good to me.”

It turned out that two of the magical boats could be merged into a single larger one if they were put on top of each other before being enlarged. The resulting ship was a pretty nice size, and it even came with a cozy interior cabin!

Just like the smaller version, the ship didn’t have any obvious method of propulsion, gliding through the water on its own strange power. This time though, Gon wasn’t being held captive, so he took some time to explore, looking around to see if he could find some hint about how the sailing magic worked.

When he couldn’t find any clues, he asked Killua, whose only response was a shrug.

“It’s magic or whatever,” he elaborated upon Gon’s insistence. “What else do you want?”

“But how does the magic work?”

“Dunno,” he said unhelpfully. “You’d have to ask someone else…the only things I really understand are electricity and illusions.”

Last time, it had only taken about half a day’s journey to get from Whale Island to the other continent, but Killua warned that it would likely take longer this time.

“It’s more difficult to leave,” he said, with a glance back towards land. The shore wasn’t visible anymore, having long since been swallowed up by mist. “This place doesn’t like to let you go.”

“Do you have any idea how long it will take?”

He shrugged. “Anywhere up to a week?”

“Three days, I bet,” Canary guessed. “That’s my hunch.”

Alluka slept through the whole first day and night, finally waking up on the second morning of the voyage. “What’d I miss?” She mumbled at breakfast, still looking half-asleep as she shoveled food into her mouth. 

“Absolutely nothing,” Canary assured her. “It’s been very dull.”

“Don’t jinx it,” Killua said, glancing up at the sky with a worried expression. “I don’t like the look of those clouds…”

Gon stood up and took a deep sniff of the air. Ah…a bit metallic. “This evening, there will be a storm,” he predicted. 

“Dammit,” Killua sighed. “I guess an easy journey over the sea was too much to ask for.”

“I’m kind of excited,” he admitted.

“Of course you are.”

They passed the afternoon by playing cards, an activity they didn’t usually have time for. That was the nice thing about being on a boat—transportation took care of itself. 

The game they started with was something called pond scum, which everyone was familiar with apart from Gon. There was a fair bit of strategy involved in deciding when to use your more valuable cards, and he struggled to get the hang of it. Card games had never really been his thing, and he had a huge disadvantage being unfamiliar with the game. 

As a result, he ended up stuck as pond scum every round, while Killua was routinely either king or queen, alternating with Canary.

“You’re unfairly good at this game,” he groused, reluctantly handing over his ace to Killua at the start of a new round as was his pond scum-ly duty.

Killua gave him a two in return, and smirked as he said, “And you suck at it.”

“It’s not my fault I’ve never played this weird game before!” He protested. “Why can’t we play something I know, like go fish?”

“Yeah, let’s switch games after this round,” Alluka agreed. “I’m sick and tired of being stuck as the peasant!”

Gon and Alluka both got their revenge in go fish; he won, while she got second place.

“Yes!” He cheered, and they exchanged a high-five. “Suck it, Killua!”

“Yeah, suck it!”

Killua crossed his arms. “It’s a stupid game.”

“Pouting because you lost?” Canary teased.

“No.”

“He totally is!” Alluka said gleefully.

They didn’t end up playing another round of go fish, because from that point things quickly devolved into ‘let’s all make fun of Killua for being a snob about card games.’ It was a good time for everyone—well, apart from Killua, but Gon had a feeling he didn’t actually mind the teasing nearly as much as he pretended to.

As evening approached, the sky darkened, filling up with ominously beautiful blue-purple clouds. The waves picked up as well, rocking the ship back and forth until water started sloshing over the sides. They retreated to the cabin around then, since it wasn’t like they had to do anything to keep the ship on course. Despite the storm, the boat’s progress across the sea remained steady and true, if slower than before.

The little cabin was warm and dry. Setting aside the constant rocking of the floor and the sounds of the storm—howling wind, a relentless tapping of rain—it was almost peaceful.

And then a tentacle burst through the window.

Gon didn’t realize the tentacle was coming towards him until he’d already been grabbed around the middle, and it rapidly pulled him outside before he could even react.

“GON!” 

Killua’s voice quickly faded in the howling wind.

This isn’t good, Gon thought frantically. Ahhh, what do I do! My arms are free, but how does that help? I don’t have any—I’m an idiot. In his panic, he’d forgotten about his cool new magical sword: a rookie mistake.

C’mon, c’mon…Gon waved his hand around until a spark of light formed in his palm. As he grasped it, the light became a hilt, the blade growing out from it. He instantly felt better having a glowing sword in his hand, and it was just in time, too. The monster was pulling him toward its mouth, a round, cavernous maw filled with rows of sharp teeth. He could already smell its breath, and it was awful.

Gon yelled and slashed out at the tentacle holding him. Just like that, he was free!

He was also falling through the air, and below him was the turbulent ocean, along with more writhing tentacles. Oh shit. This is still pretty bad!

A powerful gust of wind suddenly blew him sideways, back towards the ship. He was grateful for the reprieve, though it still looked like he’d overshoot the ship, or maybe hit the side of it if he got lucky. As the boat rapidly approached, Gon braced himself for a rough landing; and then there was a flash of white, and he was caught by strong arms.

“Killua!” Gon said with delight, because of course it was him—he’d sprinted with all his incredible speed to get to the right place just in time.

“You—” Killua’s face had a wild expression on it, his eyes seeming to spark with lightning. He pulled Gon up closer and kissed him briefly. It was an awkward angle, but Gon was still a bit disappointed when it ended. “Don’t do that again,” he said nonsensically.

“Wasn’t exactly my idea, you know,” he replied, though it was oddly touching to see how freaked-out Killua had been.

Another tentacle whistled toward them from behind Killua, and just as Gon opened his mouth to scream a warning, Killua zipped halfway across the ship.

Gon blinked in astonishment. He’d known Killua was faster than him, but the speed he was displaying tonight was frankly insane. “How are you—”

“Residual electricity in the air,” Killua said briskly, like that made any sense.

A splash of yellow caught Gon’s eye as Canary flew into view, her little wings struggling to keep her on a straight path through the storm.

“Um,” Gon said uncertainly. “Is that really…” a good idea? He didn’t want to disparage Canary’s efforts, but he wasn’t sure how much help she’d be in this form.

Killua and Canary, meanwhile, were having one of their silent conversations. It was even stranger to witness when Canary was a bird.

“Do it,” Killua said with a nod.

Do what? Gon wondered helplessly, but he didn’t have to wonder for long.

Canary suddenly flew farther out from the ship, until she was just a tiny speck of color barely visible in the driving rain, and then: she expanded.

It happened so quickly, in a way that defied his eyes trying to make sense of the transformation. Just like how the boat and the tents grew bigger all at once, in a split-second the small bird Canary was gone, replaced by the largest bird Gon had ever seen in his life.

That wasn’t even a bird; that was a yellow dinosaur.

“Holy shit,” Gon said, staring wide-eyed at the massive Canary, who began to fly right at the sea monster while letting out a deafening CHIRP. “That’s—wow.”

Killua smiled a little, admiring her form as she went on the attack. “Canary calls it her ‘terror bird mode’. A fitting name, I think.”

Without warning, Killua broke into another short sprint, almost instantaneously transporting them to the door of the cabin. Looking in, the room was a total mess, broken glass scattered everywhere thanks to that stupid tentacle.

Wait, where’s Alluka?

“Alluka!” Killua shouted.

A cabinet in the corner popped open, revealing Alluka curled up inside. It looked uncomfortably cramped in there, and Gon winced in sympathy.

“Can I come out now?” She asked hopefully.

“No way. Stay right there.”

Alluka’s mouth twisted stubbornly. “I can help.”

“Sorry,” Killua said, in a no-compromise tone. “You can’t. You have no combat training.”

“Nanika could—”

“No,” he repeated. “It’s too dangerous. And with Gon already putting himself at risk…I can only protect one of you at a time.”

Gon took offense to that statement. “Hey, I can protect myself!” He protested, wiggling in Killua’s arms, to no reaction. Belatedly, he realized that Killua had been carrying him around ever since he’d caught him, not even setting him down once. “Put me down, I’ll kick its ass.”

“You’ll stay here?” Killua asked, ignoring him completely to stare intently at Alluka.

After a moment, she sighed. “Yeah, fine.”

She shut the cabinet with a groan, and Gon could hear her yelled complaint even through the wooden door. “I can’t believe I’m missing all the fun!”

“Thanks, Alluka!” Killua shouted back, and then they zipped back to the main part of the ship.

“I mean it, you know,” Gon said pointedly. “We’ll both be able to fight better if you’re not carrying me around.” 

Though Canary looked to be holding her own against the sea monster for the time being, swiftly swooping in to peck at its tentacles while dodging the ones that tried to grab her, she couldn’t go on like this forever.

“We can’t let Canary fight alone!”

“I’m not,” Killua said, as he watched the fight with laser focus. “I’ve been manipulating the winds in her favor, pushing it back.”

“Oh.” Wait a second—“Is that why I didn’t land in the ocean?”

“Yeah.”

Killua was so insanely cool that sometimes Gon wondered how he’d ever catch up with him. “That’s incredible, Killua! But wait, why don’t you use your lightning on it?”

“...I don’t have enough power,” he grumbled, seeming annoyed with himself.

“If Canary comes back here, I could ride on her back and attack it with my sword,” Gon said, thinking out loud.

“You don’t have enough reach. All you can do with it currently are short-range attacks.”

“Damn,” he muttered, annoyed that Killua might’ve had a point. “Fine. Why don’t you go out there, then? Come on. You’re wasted protecting me.”

“It’s not—” Killua faltered, seeming to consider what he was saying. And then finally, he set Gon down on the deck. “You’re right. New plan: you stay here and protect Alluka.”

“She’ll be safe in the cabinet,” Gon started to say, but then they both had to dodge to the side as a tentacle slashed toward them, smashing into the side of the boat with enough force to take a big chunk out of it.

“None of us are safe if the ship goes down!” Killua yelled.

Well, he couldn’t argue with that logic.

Gon re-summoned his sword and turned his attention to watching the sea monster; Canary was still holding her own, but it looked like she was starting to get tired, her movements slowing down slightly.

“What about you?” Gon asked. 

“Don’t worry about me,” Killua replied, a non-answer that ironically only made him more concerned. “Just do your job!”

Killua sprinted out of sight, leaving Gon alone to focus on the tentacles. 

“Dammit,” he muttered, though he was quickly distracted as yet another fucking tentacle came swinging toward the ship and he had to sprint to reach it in time. Lopping the end of it off before it could cause any damage was admittedly very satisfying, and watching the severed end wiggle on the deck, he felt a kind of vicious glee.

Take that!

Gon fell into his new task with total focus, running all over the deck to attack the tentacles as they came. He didn’t have time to worry about what Killua was doing, but when lightning struck the top of the ship’s cabin, he looked back instinctively.

And his mouth fell wide open as he saw Killua standing up there, remnants of electricity crackling all around him.

“KILLUA!” He yelled.

All the other things he wanted to say stuck in his throat. Are you okay? What the fuck! So your brilliant plan was letting yourself get hit by lightning??

Killua spared him a brief glance. His hair was standing on end, resembling nothing so much as dandelion fluff, and he grinned wildly. Even from this distance, Gon could see his eyes were glowing with an uncanny light.

“It’s fine!” He replied. Turning to the sky, he shouted, “CANARY!”

Instantly, Canary flew over to him, and Killua leapt up to grab hold of her talons.

The sea monster was definitely looking worse for wear now, with several less tentacles than before and most of the remaining ones looking ragged thanks to Gon and Canary’s efforts. Still, the creature persisted in attacking viciously—they’d really pissed it off.

Gon would feel bad that they were probably going to kill it, but in all fairness, the monster had started it.

With Killua still grasping onto her feet, Canary flew higher than she had before, far out of reach of the tentacles.

What are they…

“Holy shit!”

Canary had dropped—no. Killua had let go of Canary’s talons, and as she swiftly flew out of range, he unleashed a bolt of lightning aimed directly at the center of the monster’s mouth.

Gon’s eyes closed against the overpowering light, but he forced them open as soon as he could. The sea monster was already sinking under the waves, giving up or maybe dying. More importantly, Killua was still falling. 

Canary was diving down to catch him, but it didn’t look like she’d reach him in time. 

Right as Killua was about to hit the waves, he grabbed hold of Canary’s talons once again. Still, Gon could barely breathe until he was dropped safely back onto the deck.

Killua still gave off a faint glow, even as the last bits of electricity started to dissipate. “Hey,” he said casually. “Told you not to worry.”

Gon grabbed him in a hug, ignoring the sting of electric shocks that resulted from the contact. 

“It’s okay,” Killua said, holding him back almost as tight. “See, I’m all good.”

“You’re insane,” Gon said after another moment, forcing himself to pull back. 

They needed to check on the ship, see how Canary was—he was vaguely aware of her human form sitting on the deck off to the side—and let Alluka know it was safe to come out of the cabinet now.

Killua smiled brightly in response. “Yeah, but you like it.”

Unfortunately, that was undeniably true.

“You looked so cool!” Gon admitted. “But you’ll give me a heart attack one day! Next time, at least tell me before you do something crazy like that!”

“You would’ve tried to stop me, though,” Killua said, like that wasn’t the point. “And it’s not like that was the first time I’ve gotten myself hit by lightning.”

Gon stared at him like please elaborate. Killua didn’t, instead walking over to Canary, who looked half-conscious where she slumped against the wall. “Need help getting up?”

Canary gave them a shaky thumbs-up. “I’m…good.”

Killua raised an eyebrow and held out his hand. After another moment, she sheepishly took it, though after she was standing, she seemed stable enough. 

“That was super amazing, Canary,” Gon complimented, feeling a bit bad that he’d overlooked her for a minute. In all fairness, he’d been kind of frantic after seeing his best friend get full-on hit by lightning, but Killua seemed to be fine. “I didn’t know you could get so big!”

“Thanks,” she muttered. “Don’t do it much…drains me.”

Gon kept a close eye on Killua as he led them into the cabin, but he really did seem fine—better than fine, even. He seemed energized, like he could run for a thousand miles. 

“Alluka!” Killua called. “It’s safe now!”

The cabinet opened and Alluka spilled out, looking them over with discerning eyes. “No injuries, good,” she said. “I get to stay awake for the rest of the voyage!”

“Canary, you’re okay?” Gon asked, somewhat surprised.

“‘M fine,” she slurred. “Just…tired.”

Alluka unlocked another cabinet to pull out their shared backpack, and made quick work of setting up a bed for her. “Sleep, Canary,” she commanded, patting the blanket. “You did amazing. I wish I could’ve seen it.”

Canary managed an exhausted smile as she stumbled over to collapse on the pile of blankets. “Thanks…maybe next time, ‘Luka.”

She instantly passed out, breathing settling into a soft rhythm. Watching her made Gon realize how exhausted he was, too. The fight hadn’t taken long, but it had to be dark by now. 

Walking over to the windows, he looked outside. 

To his surprise, the storm seemed to be settling down. The rain which had previously been dumping rain had calmed down to a light drizzle, and the clouds were thinning. In places the sky was visible, a velvety dark blue with a scattering of stars. 

It must be even later than he’d thought.

He looked back to find that Killua and Alluka had already had the same idea as him. They were spreading out bedrolls and blankets next to where Canary slept, making a big nest.

“She’ll probably sleep for at least a day,” Alluka said, sitting down next to Canary. “I hope the rest of the trip is calmer.”

“Maybe we’ll be home by then,” Gon thought aloud. After defeating the sea monster, it felt like the worst was over. From here, it should be smooth sailing. Not to jinx it, he thought hastily.

“Maybe,” Killua agreed, and then his eyes narrowed as he looked at Alluka, who was absentmindedly gazing at Canary with a sort of reverence. “So. Luka?”

Alluka flushed. “She was just tired! It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Don’t even start, brother,” she warned. “I have to put up with you and Gon all the time.”

Gon frowned. “We’re not that bad, are we?”

He thought they kept things pretty low-key; the most couple-y thing they’d ever done in front of her and Canary was hold hands.

“You wouldn’t understand,” she said with great dignity, and then proceeded to lie down and roll over on her side, shutting off any further conversation. Sometimes, it really was obvious that she and Killua were siblings.

Gon and Killua settled down on the other side of Alluka. The cold wind coming in through the broken windows made him snuggle closer to Killua than he otherwise would’ve, and this close proximity was rewarded instantly with a strong static shock.

“Ow,” he protested.

“Whoops,” Killua said. “My bad. Lemme just…” he stuck his hand out, letting miniature lightning dance over his hand for half a minute. “There. Should be better now.”

“So you’re just full of electricity still?”

“Pretty much. I’ll be like this for at least a few days, unless I use it up first.”

Gon still had a hard time believing he wasn’t at all injured, even if he seemed fine and Alluka thought he was okay.

“And you’re really not burned from the lightning? Be honest.”

“Nah.” Killua paused. “Okay, technically I was for a few seconds, but the burns heal almost instantly. It’d be a pretty shit power if it fucked me up every time I used it.”

Gon frowned. “Still, that sounds like it must be painful.”

“It’s not that bad,” he dismissed. “Mostly, it feels incredible…like I’ve become the lightning.”

Huh, weird.

He knew Killua was telling the truth, though. There was a certain gleam to his eyes, like a part of him wanted to go back out there right now and get zapped again. Weirdo…

“Whatever you say, Killua.”

Killua looked like he was about to respond when Alluka made a fake-gagging noise. “Stop being gay, some of us are trying to sleep.”

“How was that—” Gon cut himself off, because she was at least right about the last part. “Sorry, Alluka. We’ll shut up now.”

Moving closer to Killua, he whispered, “Goodnight. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I’m always okay,” he whispered back, a boast and a promise. “...You were pretty good with that sword earlier.”

“Thanks!” A great idea occurred to him then—he didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of it sooner. “Hey, we should spar!”

“Mm, sure.” Gon could hear Killua’s smirk as he added, “Hope you’re ready to lose, though.”

Gon probably would lose a lot of times, but he didn’t mind that prospect. He’d just have to get stronger. And then once the two of them were on more even-footing, he wouldn’t have to worry about not pulling his own weight whenever they encountered a dangerous situation. 

Most importantly, if Gon became strong enough to win against Killua, he’d at least have a fighting chance when it came to Killua’s family. He wanted to think that they’d seen the last of those creeps, but he had a bad feeling that things wouldn’t be that easy. And either way, it never hurt to be prepared.

Thinking about the Zoldycks made his mind cloud over with anger. He wanted to fight something—he’d take on another sea monster right now. 

Calm down, he told himself. It’s time to sleep.

It was just…they’d been so horrible to Killua and his sisters, and what had Gon even been able to do about it? In the end, all he could do was run away. 

He just wasn’t strong enough, and he hated that.

Next time, he promised to himself. Next time, things will be different. I’ll get stronger, and if Illumi ever dares to mess with Killua again, I’ll break his fucking arm!

Gon could so easily imagine doing that, almost as if it had already happened. And with a soothing vision of violence humming under his skin, he soon drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

A couple days later, they finally arrived on Whale Island.

The last time Killua had landed on this shore, he’d been alone. It had been evening then, the whole world muffled and quiet apart from the lonely calls of invisible seagulls in the fog.

Everything was different now. The world played in full sound and color as Gon talked excitedly about how happy he was to be seeing Mito again; he was practically running in circles around the ship as they approached the shore. Killua tried not to feel guilty that he was the reason Gon had been separated from his aunt for so long, and mostly succeeded.

Before anyone could put out the ladder, Gon was already jumping down to the beach, too impatient to wait. He shuffled from foot to foot as the rest of them climbed down, clearly  itching to run off.

As Killua tucked the now-tiny boat into his backpack, Gon couldn’t hold back any longer, breaking into a sprint.

Typical, Killua thought, and ran after him. “Hey!” He shouted. “Slow down, idiot.”

Gon looked over his shoulder to give him a grin. “Can’t keep up?”

“You know I can,” Killua replied, “but Alluka can’t, and the girls don’t know where you live.”

The logic must’ve gotten through to Gon’s thick head, because he slowed down to a brisk walking pace, glancing over his shoulder a bit apologetically at where Alluka and Canary were jogging to catch up.

Then Gon turned back to Killua, shooting him a devious smile that made him feel a bit like he’d been zapped by lightning again. “And you do, because you kidnapped me from my home,” he teased. “What a bad boy.”

Killua felt his face flush red. “Please don’t tell your aunt.”

“No promises!”

“Gon. She’s going to hate me.”

Alluka, having caught up, patted his back in sympathy. “That’s what you get.”

Thanks so much, sis.

“She won’t,” Gon promised. “Not after getting the whole story.” 

How can you be so sure? Killua wanted to ask, but he didn’t. Still, Gon must’ve seen his uncertainty, because he took the time to explain his thinking. 

“Mito’s not stupid,” he said. “She won’t believe that I willingly left with some random stranger without even saying goodbye. And I can’t lie to her, anyway, even if I wanted to.”

“Okay.” Killua probably should’ve anticipated this, in all honesty. What, did he think that they’d just never tell Gon’s mom how they met? “That’s fair.”

They didn’t talk for the remainder of the walk, each too distracted by their own thoughts. Alluka and Canary were quiet too, both of them busy looking around with appreciative awe at their surroundings. It was beautiful here, though in a different way than the last time.

When he’d first come here everything had been golden-orange, the trees still mostly holding onto their leaves and the air holding onto the last of summer warmth. 

Almost a month and a half later, and all the leaves were on the ground. Instead of orange and gold, the predominant colors of the world were brown and gray. The air smelled like mulch, cold as it brushed their faces, though it still couldn’t compare to the frigid winds of Kukuroo mountain. Even in the dead of winter, Killua doubted Whale Island ever got that cold. 

Whale Island belonged to another world, quite literally. A safer world…a kinder one. Killua looked over at Gon, who was sniffing the air happily, eyes half-closed in contentment, and his heart ached. Was there truly a place for him here?

As they walked up a path Killua had only taken once before, in the dead of night, his heart started pounding. Calm down, he told himself. It will be fine!

It was ridiculous to feel this way, but somehow walking the path up to Gon’s house felt more precarious than navigating the floating path to the Zoldyck mansion. 

Gon knocked firmly on the door, and several seconds later, it was opened.

Killua had never seen Mito before; except in a weird way he had, considering that he’d seen Shaiapouf’s imitation of her. Still, he was caught off-guard by her strong resemblance to Gon. 

Mito stared at her adoptive son like she could hardly believe what she was seeing, and pulled him into a hug halfway through his apology.

“You foolish boy!” She said in a tight voice. Killua had to look away when he saw the tears in her eyes. Mito looked entirely unlike the royal guard’s imitation of her now; the warm air of affection that surrounded her couldn’t possibly be faked.

“Sorry,” Gon said again. “I’ll explain everything, I swear!”

After another long minute that Killua spent looking at his feet, Mito finally released her son, wiping quickly at her eyes. “You better have a good explanation for leaving without so much as a word!” Before Gon could say anything in reply, her eyes caught on Killua, and the girls standing behind him. “Oh! Have you brought back friends?”

Alluka gave a little wave, while Canary smiled politely.

Killua should say something, some sort of greeting, but the words stuck in his throat. Seeing Mito, all the guilt he’d thought was successfully suppressed came rushing back, drowning him. It was all he could do to not turn tail and run away.

He must’ve looked pathetic, because Gon gave him a softly reassuring smile before grabbing his hand to tug him forward.

“Yeah!” Gon said brightly. “And this is my—”

“Killua,” he forced himself to say, because he’d be damned if he didn’t introduce himself. He knew basic fucking manners. 

It would be more proper to offer his last name, too, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do that. Even knowing that Mito shouldn’t have any idea who the Zoldycks were, the idea was somehow repellent. That name didn’t belong in a place like this.

“My Killua,” Gon said, smiling wider, like him saying that hadn’t punched a hole right through Killua’s chest. He looked down, unable to take it any longer.

He can’t keep doing this, Killua thought wildly. 

It was just—unfair, how much of an effect Gon had on him. Being around Gon every day should inure him to it, like eating poison until he gained an immunity, but instead it seemed the opposite was true. Every day, it only got worse. 

A poke to his shoulder woke him from his thoughts—it was Alluka, looking at him with curiosity and slight concern. Looking at Mito, she said, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Mito!”

Fuck, he’d totally spaced out. Presumably, Alluka had just introduced herself; probably a safe assumption that she mentioned they’re siblings too.

“My name is Canary,” Canary said, bowing her head respectfully. “Nice to meet you.”

Mito stepped to the side, beckoning them in with a wave of her hand. “It’s always lovely to meet Gon’s friends. Why don’t you all come inside now, and I’ll make us some tea.”

Gon led the way to the round dining table that Killua had only briefly glimpsed last time, as he’d slunk upstairs in the darkness. He didn’t let go of Killua’s hand until they were both settled into their seats, like he knew how badly part of Killua still felt inclined to bolt. 

Killua focused on staying still and keeping a calm expression on his face. It’s not a big deal. Just look normal—be normal. You can be normal, right?

They were tightly packed around the little round table, which was clearly designed for perhaps three people at most. The whole setup couldn’t be more different from the table in the Zoldyck mansion, which was harshly angular and much longer than it needed to be.

Gon nudged Killua gently, and he managed to not jerk away at the unexpected touch. 

“Hey,” he said, keeping his voice low. “Relax a little. Mito’s not going to eat you, I promise.”

“I am perfectly relaxed,” Killua lied. “And I know that.”

“It’s okay to be nervous!” Alluka said. Her tone was a little teasing, but he could tell she also meant what she said.

“I’m not—” As Mito entered the room, carrying a wooden tray with tea, the words dried up in his mouth. He couldn’t lie to himself; he was nervous. A skittering anxiety crept up his spine like the anticipation of torture.

Stop it, he ordered his nervous system. Mito was pouring out the tea, pushing a cup out to every person. He stared into his steaming cup, which he knew for a fact wasn’t poisoned. And even if it somehow was, he’d be fine, so there was no reason to feel this weird looming dread.

Mito looked expectantly at Gon, and he began talking. 

“Remember when I killed the jabberwocky?” Gon asked. Mito nodded, seeming a bit confused, and he continued. “There was no way I could’ve known this, but it turns out that creature belonged to Killua’s family. His name was Mike.”

“Oh dear,” Mito murmured, and gave Killua an apologetic sort of glance that he had no idea what to do with. 

“Mike had run off, and Killua’s family sent him to bring him back.” Conveniently, Gon left out that Mike’s escape was actually Killua’s fault, but he supposed that was an unnecessary detail to include. “Killua tracked Mike all the way here, but…he obviously didn’t find him in time. So then Killua decided to kidnap me!”

Killua was barely able to restrain a flinch at the words Gon dropped so casually into the conversation. Mito blinked, looking between them incredulously, maybe wondering if Gon was making some ill-conceived joke.

“He kidnapped you,” she repeated.

“Mhm!” Gon agreed cheerfully. Killua’s hands tightened into fists under the table, but he kept his face perfectly blank. “It’s a bit complicated. Basically, he thought that he’d failed his mission by not finding Mike in time, and the only thing he could think to do was to bring me back instead.”

“I know that what he’s saying probably doesn’t make much sense to you,” Alluka added. “The thing is, our family is very…demanding. And strange. Their customs are, um…unique.”

“Unique in what way?” Mito asked slowly, looking between him and Alluka for an explanation neither wanted to offer. 

Killua didn’t know where to start when it came to the Zoldycks, in all honesty. What Alluka had said didn’t quite cover it, but it came close enough. Without any idea of what to say, he remained silent, while Alluka just shrugged in response to Mito’s look, and glanced over at Gon in invitation. 

Sure, let him explain it—why not. Killua was a little curious as to what he’d say.

“Um,” Gon started. “Well, demanding is a very nice way of putting it. Their family is just—they’re not good people! I can’t overstate how terrible they are, actually!” Gon took a breath, visibly calming himself down. “Anyway, so that’s why I don’t blame Killua for abducting me—he was just doing the best he could to navigate a bad situation.”

Seriously? That just made him sound like some sort of victim. 

“Stop doing that,” Killua said, the words coming out harsher than he intended. “It was still my choice to do what I did, so stop defending me.”

Gon huffed, crossing his arms stubbornly across his chest. “Someone has to! If it was up to you, you’d take all the blame without even explaining your reasoning.”

“Even if I had a reason, that’s no excuse! I—” fuck, he was about to start yelling at Gon in front of his mom. He’d forgotten for a moment that Mito was right there. 

Killua drew a deep breath and forced himself to look right at Mito. Her expression was impossible to read; he couldn't see any anger in it, but then he didn’t know her, either.

“Even if things turned out okay in the end, I still abducted your son and caused you worry. I’m very sorry. And if…if you want me to leave, I would understand.”

Killua would understand if she didn’t want him to be around Gon. After all, he didn’t know if he’d ever forgive someone if they’d taken Alluka, even if the circumstances were similar. He’d never forgive their family at least, though he knew that was a vastly different situation. He shook away the thought, refocusing on the present moment. 

Mito was still impossible to read as she looked at him assessingly. After another few seconds passed, he couldn’t withstand her scrutiny any longer, dropping his gaze to the table. What would he do if Mito told him to go? 

Leave, idiot.

It was her house, her son. Gon might come with him, but he wouldn’t count on that; he knew Mito’s opinion mattered greatly to Gon. Alluka and Canary, at least, would go with him…he wouldn’t be alone. 

Killua really didn’t want to leave, though. Even the thought of being separated from Gon caused a deep pain in his chest; he felt he’d rather be stabbed a hundred times over than be forced to part. 

Somehow, over the span of only weeks, Gon had burrowed his way so deeply into Killua’s life that he couldn’t imagine not knowing him. It terrified Killua at times, that wanting and everything that came with it. How much Killua needed to be around him, how much he depended on Gon’s friendship and kindness. 

But he’d never been able to have anything good—why should Gon be any different?

“Well,” Mito said finally, and he tensed in preparation of her next words. “I can’t say I’m happy to hear about how you two first met, but in all honesty…if my son wants to spend time with you, I can’t very well stop him. He’s an adult who makes his own choices.” 

She paused, and her face softened, sun breaking through the clouds. “But more than that, Gon clearly cares about you a lot. I know he wouldn’t hold such feelings for no reason.”

“Killua saved my life,” Gon added unnecessarily. “Multiple times, even! And he’s the best friend I’ve ever had. He’s amazing, Mito.”

Killua was struck by the sudden urge to hide under the table. He could feel his stupid face heating up again, and knew he must be blushing. Across the table, Alluka stifled a snicker under her hand. 

“Gon,” he said. “Can we stay on topic, please?”

Gon cocked his head. “How is that not on topic?”

Mito took pity on Killua then. “What happened after he…kidnapped you? I’d like to know how you two became friends, and everything else.”

Gon launched into his story, starting with their trip across the sea.

“...and then we walked through this strange forest where nothing had names…it was super eerie! I couldn’t even remember my own name. Then once we made it through that, we talked for a while—well, mostly it was me bothering him—and after that, Killua totally changed his mind about his whole plan. He told me to go home…even gave me the boat to go back.”

Gon paused, looking slyly at Killua. “That was literally the first day, too. Turns out, you’re super bad at abducting people.”

“Shut up,” Killua said half-heartedly.

“No interruptions!”

“You were the one who started it!”

Unexpectedly, Mito laughed, and both of them went silent. “Gon has always had a gift for making friends,” she said fondly, shaking her head. “I suppose it’s not surprising that even this time would be no different.”

“After that, I told him I wasn’t leaving,” Gon continued. “He’d said something kind of worrying about his family by mistake, and because I already kind of liked him by then, I wasn’t going to just leave. And then he stopped me from smelling these weird flowers that would’ve made me fall asleep for a hundred years, so then I liked him even more! I guess that was the first time he saved my life.”

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t just go home,” Killua said, since they were on the topic anyway. “You still didn’t know me and I’d held you at knifepoint—at least the flowers wouldn’t have killed you, technically.”

Gon actually laughed, the little shit. “You weren’t that scary, you know! I wasn’t afraid of you at all by then.”

“...Your survival instincts could use some work.”

“But you were never a danger to me,” Gon said with a smile. “Even then, I knew.” He cleared his throat dramatically. “Anyway, stop interrupting! We have a lot more to get through.”

Killua fell silent, and Gon returned to his overly generous narration. He was stubbornly steadfast in painting the best picture of Killua he could, seeming to see nothing unreliable in what he was saying. Knowing that there wasn’t any point in arguing, Killua held his tongue, letting Gon say what he liked.

At times, Killua still contributed details to the story: mostly during the points when Gon couldn’t quite recall what had happened at a certain time and would look to him for help.

There was a lot to cover. Even skipping over the unimportant bits, it still took a couple hours to tell Mito most of what had happened. The only significant part Gon left out was the details of his fight with Shaiapouf. Killua guessed he didn’t want his aunt to feel bad that her form had been used to manipulate him.

Not to mention, that was the closest Gon had come to death on their adventure. Killua could understand why he wouldn’t want to tell Mito much about that, considering that he didn’t even like recalling that fight. It had been sickening to watch as Gon was stabbed while he’d been helpless to do anything, stuck in that stupid cloud. 

If I ever end up on the testing grounds again, I swear I’ll find a way to kill Shaiapouf for good.

When it came time to talk about the Zoldycks, Gon largely let him and Alluka take over the story, while Mito listened quietly with a solemn look on her face. She asked a few questions about magic, being quite curious, which Alluka and Canary were both happy to answer. 

Nanika said hello, too. Mito hardly blinked at her startling appearance, greeting her with a warm acceptance that made Nanika smile wide. The last of the tension finally leaked out of Killua’s spine when he saw that, and he allowed himself to fully relax.

By the time they’d started describing the journey back, everyone was more or less taking turns telling the story, which devolved into a bit of a mess towards the end.

“—giant bird!” Alluka said, waving her arms enthusiastically. Killua worried for a moment that she’d knock over her teacup, but disaster was narrowly averted. “I mean, super huge! She looks like she could totally eat people.”

“I wouldn’t,” Canary added quickly. “I mean, I don’t eat people.”

“I didn’t think you did,” Mito said, very obviously holding back a laugh.

“I wish I could’ve seen her kicking butt,” Alluka sighed. “Unfortunately, at the time I was hiding in a cabinet because Killua was being all overprotective.”

Killua rolled his eyes at her dramatics. “Sorry for trying to keep you alive.”

Since basically nothing had happened after the sea monster attack, the story came to an unceremonious close after that.

“Goodness, this reminds me of the last time you came home from adventuring,” Mito said, shaking her head. “But it looks like everything turned out for the best, this time.”

Gon nodded, still smiling wide; sometimes Killua wondered how his cheeks didn’t hurt from being so happy all the time. “Yeah! Well, this time I had Killua there to keep me from doing anything stupid.”

“Not that you ever listened to me,” Killua sniped. It was a half-true statement, but he was mostly teasing.

“I did too!”

“I understand, Killua,” Mito said sympathetically. “He only listens to me about half the time, and I raised the boy.”

“I can’t believe you guys are already ganging up on me,” Gon whined. “This is awful.”

Killua laughed at his exaggerated sad face, as did Mito. It felt good to laugh at Gon with his adoptive mom; he felt almost totally at ease. And to think that not too long ago he’d been convinced this woman would hate him…he’d never been so glad to be wrong.

“Goodness, how did it get to be almost five?” Mito said, standing up to start gathering their dishes. “I’ve got to start on making dinner.”

Looking across the room at a cute ceramic clock, Killua saw she was right. The light had changed without him noticing, too. In the westward window, the sun was glowing orange through the trees, close to setting.

“I’m helping,” Gon declared, jumping to his feet.

Mito smiled, brushing a hand through his hair. It was the kind of sweet gesture that was very mom, somehow, not that Killua could imagine Kikyo doing that sort of thing.

Turning away from her son, she asked, “Is it safe to assume everyone’s staying the night?”

They all nodded.

“Excellent. You’re all welcome to stay for as long as you like…though, I’m afraid we only have one guest room.”

“That’s okay!” Gon said. “Killua’s staying with me, anyway.”

Killua choked on air. He’d assumed they would share a room—they’d literally been sharing a small tent for weeks—but to straight-up say that in front of his mom…how shameless could he possibly be? Or was Killua just overly repressed? No. Gon was the weird one here.

“I was wondering, but I didn’t want to assume,” Mito said with a small smile, completely uncaring. Killua was still embarrassed, but he appreciated her not making a big deal of it. To Alluka and Canary, she said, “There’s just one bed in the guestroom, a queen, but we also have a futon in the closet.”

“We can share a bed,” Alluka said, and then her eyes widened as she looked at Canary. “I mean, if you—um—I don’t mind!”

“That’s okay with me,” Canary said, not quite able to meet her eyes. “We shared a tent, anyway.”

“Cool!” Alluka said, her voice almost squeaky.

His sister was definitely blushing, and though Canary kept looking away, making it harder to tell, he’d bet that she was as well. It was pretty funny seeing Canary act shy—normally, she was completely self-assured. 

While it had been too weird to consider at first, Killua found he didn’t mind the thought of those two being in a relationship anymore. By now, he was more or less used to Alluka being an adult. And besides…there was an advantage to this situation.

“You’re looking a little red, Alluka,” he said with fake-concern. “Feeling okay?”

Alluka shot him a deadly look. “Just fine, thanks.”

Oh, he was going to have fun teasing her about her little crush.

Luckily for Alluka, Canary came to her rescue. “Do you want to walk in the garden with me?”

“Yes,” she replied, a little too emphatically.

Killua smirked wordlessly at her, and she gave him a discrete middle finger before flouncing out the door with Canary. He didn’t miss how she took Canary by the arm. They’ll probably be holding hands by the end of their walk, he predicted.

Just like that, Killua was left alone. 

Without anything better to do, he migrated to the living room, and occupied himself looking through the bookshelves by the fireplace. What someone had on their bookshelf told you a lot about them: not just from what books they read, but from all the other little things that always ended up on the shelf somehow.

Whenever Killua had assassinated people in their homes, getting to snoop through their personal belongings afterward was always the highlight of his job. He’d never lingered for too long, of course. Illumi would’ve had his head if he’d known about this particular habit, which was just plain stupid for someone in their trade.

Although this time was different from all the others. This time, Killua could freely run his finger along the spine of the books, even take a couple out to read the inside cover descriptions. He didn’t have to worry about leaving behind evidence: his hands were clean, free of any blood.

Killua let himself linger, taking the time to examine everything thoroughly. There was a lot of fiction on these shelves—historical fiction and fantasy, even some romance. A fair amount of graphic novels, too, and a whole section of picture books. There was some non-fiction, as well: a history of the island, several books about birds, a book about whales, a guide to navigating by the stars.

Having made his way through the books, he turned his attention to the objects on the shelf.

There were several family pictures, and he gazed with fascination at a tiny, round-faced child Gon. The pictures covered a span of decades, but Gon’s beaming smile never changed.

An older woman was present in some of the photos, though she vanished around the point when Gon reached his teenage years—a grandmother, perhaps. Gon hadn’t mentioned her before. Come to think of it, he hadn’t said much at all about any of his family apart from Mito, which made sense considering the little Killua knew about his dad. 

Ging wasn’t present in any of the photos, which wasn’t surprising. 

Then there were the occasional art pieces, lopsided and ugly but all with a certain charm to them. On the top shelf sat a roughly-carved wooden…bird? Or possibly a boat. Killua contemplated it for a minute, and still couldn’t decide what exactly it was meant to be. Then there was an orange ceramic foxbear with a toothy grin.

Is that…Kon? Gon had mentioned his old friend a couple times.

And then in a place of pride on the center of a shelf rested a framed family portrait, done in crayon—it must have been made when Gon was very young. He’d signed his name, but the ‘N’ was backwards.

Faced with these objectively terrible creations, Killua felt a surprising fondness surge through him. These things…they’d only been kept because a young Gon had been proud of them, but the fact that they were proudly displayed even now spoke of a deep love.

He couldn’t even imagine his parents keeping ugly kid-art around. Whatever drawings he’d made as a child, they’d have been tossed in the fire long ago.

When Mito entered the room, Killua jumped back from the shelf, feeling oddly like he’d been caught doing something wrong. It was kind of ironic, considering that this was the one time where he was truly innocent of any crimes.

“You can borrow a book if you’d like,” Mito said with a gentle smile.

“Uh,” he said awkwardly. “Maybe later.”

“Dinner’s ready,” she informed him. “Do you know where the girls might be?”

It’d been about an hour—were they still outside? “They went for a walk in the garden a while ago,” he offered. “I can go fetch them, if you want?”

“That would be great, thank you.”

As he went out the door, a terrible thought occurred to him. What if they’re making out or something? Fuck, I really don’t want to see that. He stuffed his hands deep in his pockets, slowing his pace, and started whistling loudly.

Wait, this is stupid. Why don’t I just—

“Alluka!” He shouted. “Canary! Dinner’s ready, hurry up!”

A few moments later, Alluka’s voice shouted back, “Coming!”

Good, so they hadn’t wandered off into the woods and gotten lost or something. It wasn’t like Killua had been too concerned about that—well, maybe he would be if it were just Alluka, but Canary could easily handle any danger that Whale Island had to offer.

Dinner turned out to be a lively affair, as Gon shared more stories about their journey, such as the time a giant spider had gotten into their tent somehow in the middle of the night.

“Killua was screaming so loudly!” Gon said. “I thought he was dying, or something was horribly wrong, but he was just freaking out over this little spider!”

Killua took offense to that. “Little? That thing was the size of a cat! I wouldn’t call that little. And it was venomous!”

“You could’ve just zapped it with your lightning, couldn’t you?”

In hindsight, he totally could’ve—except he’d woken up to that thing crawling over him, and he hadn’t really been able to think. 

“Whatever.”

“So I got it with my sword,” Gon finished. “I would’ve just put it outside, but it jumped at Killua’s face, which made it fair game.”

“I remember that night,” Alluka added. “I thought you guys were being attacked by some horrible monster at first, because Killua’s scream was so ear-shattering.”

“It was a monster,” Killua grumbled, feeling distinctly ganged-up on.

He could put up with a little teasing at his expense, though. It wasn’t like he was the only one being targeted—Gon had done plenty of stupid things over the past few weeks of traveling, and both Killua and Alluka were more than happy to share embarrassing stories with his mom, to Mito’s great amusement.

After dinner, they spent some time hanging out in the cozy living room, but before too long everyone split off to their separate rooms for bed. Mito went upstairs first, then the girls, and not long after that Gon dragged Killua away to show off his room. 

So, technically speaking, Killua had already seen his room. The first time didn’t count, though, seeing as he hadn’t been paying much attention to details when he’d abducted Gon in the middle of the night. With all the lights turned on, the space looked a lot different. Much cozier, and full of personality.

Killua beelined right for the bookshelf, of course. He wasn’t surprised to see that Gon didn’t have many books altogether, and the majority of the ones he had were all about the natural world. There was a guide to tracking, a book about fishing, another about geology and so on…the only fiction seemed to be a thick book of fairy tales.

The rest of the shelf was occupied with rocks and shells and seaglass, weird-shaped sticks and pinecones and various bones…there were even a few fossils in the mix. 

Gon’s bed was laid out with a green-patterned quilt: Mito’s work, he assumed. It looked warm. Right above the bed hung a poster depicting a giant tree.

“What’s the deal with that?” Killua asked, nodding to it.

“That’s the World Tree!” Gon said, the excited emphasis of his voice making it clear the words were capitalized. “It’s the world’s tallest tree, way bigger than any buildings! Years ago, I climbed to the top of it. That was pretty much the last thing I did, before I went back home.”

It occurred to Killua then that he still didn’t know all that much about what Gon had gotten up to on his adventures, and he made a mental note to ask him more questions later. They’d gotten along so well from the very start that sometimes it surprised him when he was reminded how much of each other’s lives they hadn’t been present for. It was honestly weird to consider; he felt like they should’ve been friends for years.

Shaking off the thought, Killua examined the poster more closely. The tree looked pretty familiar, but the ones like it he’d seen…

“I’ve seen taller. There’s this one forest where the trees grow out of mountains—their roots suck up magma.”

“I wish I was surprised by that statement…” Gon sighed. “Man, I’m jealous.”

“Don’t be. I’ll take you there one day.”

That made Gon perk up again. “It’s a date!”

Unsurprisingly, there were a ton of rocks scattered all throughout Gon’s room, not just on the bookshelves. He was an avid collector, which didn’t surprise Killua one bit. The number of times he’d had to convince Gon to unload his pockets on their journey, so he wouldn’t be completely weighed down with rocks…

Gon had held onto his very favorites, though, and now he carefully unloaded the rocks from his backpack and started to arrange them wherever he could make space.

Killua watched him for a bit, amused by how his face scrunched up in concentration, but then he became distracted by all the pictures on the walls. If he hadn’t been so focused on looking at the bookshelf, he would’ve noticed them right away…there were a fair number. 

He ended up gravitating to a large picture that was placed on the nightstand, in what seemed like a place of honor. The frame for it looked to be handmade out of sea shells, but Killua was more interested in its contents.

In the photo was a baby-faced Gon; he couldn’t be older than twelve. He still had the same spiky hair as he grinned widely, hands on his hips, and his smile was still like the sun. If anything, his grin was even brighter than it was now. There was a kind of searing quality to it: if you got too close, you might burn.

For the thousandth time, Killua wondered what it would’ve been like to know him back then.

Directly behind Gon were two men who looked several years older. On the right, a tall man in a suit, with scruffy hair and stupid little round sunglasses. On the left stood a shorter man—or a teenager, maybe—with a softer face, blond hair, and dark eyes that seemed to stare right into Killua’s soul and judge him unworthy.

“That’s Leorio and Kurapika,” Gon’s voice said, and Killua turned to see he’d snuck up behind him when he wasn’t paying attention. 

Gon gazed at the photo with a familiar kind of fondness Killua recognized from all the times he’d talk about his friends, and a sharp pang of jealousy briefly went through him. It was stupid to feel that way, though. He knew he was important to Gon, and they’d already agreed to keep traveling together for as long as both of them wanted that.

It was just…these people had known him way back then. They had memories with Gon that Killua would never share. They’d all been hanging out together, having a good time, while Killua had still been friendless, hanging out alone in his room or tied up in the dungeon or out on a fucking job—alone, always.

Killua swallowed and pushed the feeling down. All of that was in the past now; he didn’t need to think about his former life anymore.

“Leorio’s the one with the stupid glasses, right?”

Gon laughed. “Yeah! How’d you know?”

“From what you told me about the cursed coins, I know he’s pretty dumb, and those glasses make him look like an idiot.”

“I can’t wait for you to meet them,” Gon said out of nowhere, turning a brilliant smile on him. “I’ll tell them you’re my partner and my best friend in the whole world.”

“You’re so embarrassing,” Killua said, mostly out of reflex. Honestly, he was getting dangerously used to Gon saying these things—and at least there were no witnesses this time.

“But am I—” he cut himself off, because it was a stupid, unnecessary thing to ask.

Gon looked at him curiously. “Are you what?”

“It’s dumb. Forget it.”

“Noooo, I’m too curious, now you have to tell me!”

Killua relented. “You’ve known them for way longer. Am I seriously your best friend?”

Gon blinked. “I thought we’ve been over this? Of course you’re my best friend!”

“That’s why I said it was stupid.”

“I don’t think it is.” Gon rubbed at his neck, clearly thinking hard. “We haven’t known each other very long, sure, but that doesn’t matter. I love Leorio and Kurapika, they’re great friends…they’re also a few years older than me. And that’s not a bad thing, but it means they always try to look after me, you know?”

As Gon looked back at him, the smile he wore was a little different from his usual—there was something almost shy about it. 

“Back then, I had a good time, and still there was…I always wanted someone to be running right alongside me. It felt like there was this missing piece. And then meeting you, something just clicked into place. I guess I should thank you, Killua.”

You’ve got it backwards, Gon. I’m the one who should thank you.

They’d been over that before, though, and honestly, saying thank you was a poor expression of how much Gon had done for him. Might as well not bother, but then that went both ways.

Impulsively, Killua leaned in to kiss that smile. When he pulled away, Gon looked delighted, and a little astonished: he was more likely to do that sort of thing than Killua, who always second-guessed himself when it came to physical affection. Killua resolved to be more impulsive in the future. He liked seeing this look on Gon. 

“You don’t have to thank me for being your friend,” Killua said. “It’s easy.”

Gon looked so happy after he said that, his smile impossibly wide. They migrated to Gon’s bed soon after that, and stayed up late for a while longer, talking and kissing, until Gon just conked out mid-conversation. 

It was funny how quickly he could fall asleep; Killua would always be a little jealous of that quality. Already, Gon was snoring softly, and he’d managed to sprawl out sideways, taking up more than his fair portion of the bed. When Killua tried shoving him over, he flopped right back into place.

Well, fine. I’ll just sleep in the corner.

It was fine, honestly. No matter how much room he had, Killua always ended up curled into a ball when he slept. Alluka teased him for it, saying that he was like a cat, but maybe cats had the right idea. It was convenient being able to sleep in small spaces. Heat-conserving, too.

And listening to Gon’s even breathing, it didn’t take long for his thoughts to slow. 

…

Screams echoed eerily all around him.

It was hard to judge the distance as he ran through the foggy swamp. Sounds were probably distorted here. He knew that people were dying, a lot of them, but he wasn’t concerned. When he looked over, Gon was running by his side. He wasn’t afraid either: there was only a boundless curiosity on his face as he observed their odd surroundings with interest.

Until a new expression crossed Gon’s face—concern. “Wait, where are Kurapika and Leorio? We should look for them.”

“No way,” Killua shook his head firmly. “Keep running. Don’t look back. Either they’re fine, or they’re already dead.”

Gon still seemed troubled. Why do they matter? Killua wanted to ask, unable to grasp Gon’s worry, but he didn’t. Suddenly, Gon sniffed the air like a dog, and his eyes lit up.

“I smell Leorio’s cologne! Sorry, Killua—but I’ll see you later!”

Killua could only watch as Gon charged off like an idiot, vanishing almost instantly in the fog. 

Well, whatever. It was none of his business if the guy got himself killed. Only an idiot would die in this stupid swamp, so if Gon were to die here, then he wouldn’t be someone who could keep up with Killua anyway.

It still felt weird to be running by himself. Alone again. How quickly he’d gotten used to Gon’s company…even with all the distant screams, the swamp felt too quiet now.

Whatever. I don’t care.

…

Killua woke up lonely, but the feeling faded as soon as he saw Gon still sleeping on the bed beside him. Not wanting to wake him, he quietly got out of bed and went over to the window, peeking around one end of the curtain to look out.

The forest looked ghostly, winter-bare branches fading into a thick fog, everything painted in soft shades of early morning blue.

He felt drawn to the fog for a reason he couldn’t explain, and after a glance back at Gon—still asleep—he silently slipped out the window. Last night, Gon had explained there was an easy way to the roof from the window in his room, and it was even easier than he’d expected to climb up there using the rough bricks as handholds. 

It was chilly up here—he probably should’ve grabbed a sweater first—but the cold wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. His breath was faintly visible, and he felt oddly calm watching it plume out to join the mist, like he was fading with it into the landscape.

After several minutes, movement at the edge of the roof drew his attention. Gon was climbing up to join him. Neither of them said anything for a while, just sat in the fog and silence as the blues all around them gradually lightened into grayish-white.

It felt like the world didn’t exist beyond what they could see, like they were in their own miniature universe.

Killua’s dream returned to him slowly, in fragments. There’d been fog in the dream, he recalled, and Gon had been there too. They’d been in a swamp. More than what the swamp had looked like, he remembered the screams: and how it had felt to watch Gon leave.

“Did you sleep well?” Gon asked now, breaking the quiet.

Killua didn’t know. He felt…not tired, so much as unsettled. “I guess. Had a weird dream.”

“Want to tell me about it?”

He shrugged. “You were in it.”

“Oh, I was? What were we doing?”

“Running through this weird fucking swamp,” Killua said. As he talked, more pieces came back. “And then you ditched me to look for Leorio and Kurapika. I think we were kids, too.”

“That’s interesting,” Gon said, a gleam in his eyes. “I wonder if that actually happened.”

Killua frowned, confused. “Pretty sure we’d remember if it had.”

“I mean, in some other world,” Gon explained. “Sometimes my dreams feel so real, and it makes me think maybe they’re actually memories from some other me.”

“What a weird thought.” Killua could honestly say he’d never considered the possibility of other worlds before, at least not in the alternate dimension sense Gon seemed to be talking about. “I guess it could be possible…”

He’d seen some very strange things in his life, so it wasn’t like Gon’s idea was that absurd.

“I hope we’re friends in all those other universes, too.”

It was too early in the morning for this. “Of course you’d say that. You’re so cheesy…”

“You were the one who was dreaming about me!” Gon teased. “Can’t stop thinking about me even in your sleep, huh Killua—” he broke into snickering as Killua shoved at his shoulder.

“If other universes are real, I’ve probably killed you in at least one of them.”

Gon puffed up, all offended on his behalf. “No way! You would never.”

Killua laughed a little. “If you say so.”

“I do.”

Quiet settled over them again, and Killua ran over the dream again in his mind. He didn’t want to say that Gon had a point with his weird theory, but it was true that the dream had felt subtly different from others he’d had. Sharper, somehow—more in-focus. A bit like the ‘dream’ he’d had with Illumi in the graveyard, but also not.

Part of it was how well he could recall his feelings. Even now, they felt so real.

“It’s funny,” he said. “I acted so indifferent in the dream. I was trying not to show that I cared, but I cared a lot, I think. I don’t know if we were even friends yet, and I still got so offended when you left.”

“That sounds like you,” Gon said with a nod. “You’re always avoiding your feelings.”

“Hey,” he protested. “I’ve gotten better, haven’t I?”

“Definitely,” Gon agreed with a smile.

As a peaceful silence settled over them once again, Killua wished he could stay in this moment for longer. He didn’t know how long they’d been up here, but soon they’d have to go back inside. Everyone else in the house must be waking up, if not already awake, and they’d need to have breakfast, start the day…it’d be weird to not be going anywhere after breakfast, though. After weeks of traveling, it felt ridiculously leisurely to know he’d be sleeping in the same place tonight, in a real bed.

Gon stood up, stretching his arms above his head briefly. “Ready to go back inside?”

“Sure.”

In the end, it was easy to follow Gon back inside, because Killua knew that from now on, there would be many other mornings like this one: gentle and slow, waking up next to Gon. Looking at it that way, the foggy unknown of the future didn’t seem frightening at all.