Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hamato Yoshi never expected his life to be anything more than normal, this was until everything changed. An incident left him with a grief he couldn’t handle, so he ran from everything he ever knew.
His father’s dying words cursed him for his decision to run, telling him he could never return, never again be respected in the eyes of his clan. He ignored these words, and left, taking a little bit of his father’s money, just enough to get by.
He rushed to the nearest bathroom and hurriedly removed his haori covering his shoulders and changed his nagagi to a plain long sleeved shirt. He replaced his hakama with plain sweat pants and proceeded to shove his blood stained clothes in the trash, burying them under layers of rubbish, concealing them completely. Pumping as much soap onto his hands and aggressively scrubbing the blood off his arms, leaving his skin red and raw, he splashed his face with cold water, lifted his head up to see a young man in the mirror staring at him. This man had blood shot eyes and red rimmed eye lids, his black hair was disheveled and his face was pale as milk. Yoshi gripped the sink basin tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. The man in the mirror was him. He let out a broken noise, between a laugh and a sob, at the realization.
He heard his brothers youthful voice in the back of his head “ Yoshi, hidoi kao shi teru yo”
He was standing there alone in a public bathroom, hearing a voice of someone who no longer existed, staring at himself in the mirror. ‘I must be losing my mind’ he thought bitterly. His head hung low as a breathed in deeply, trying to find inner peace. After a minute or so, his hand grabbed the suitcase handle and he headed out into the busy street to call a taxi.

The ride to the airport was silent, which he appreciated. Once he arrived, he handed the money to the driver, dragged his suitcase out of the boot of the taxi and walked through the doors which opened automatically to his surprise. He’d never been in an airport before, or really even outside of the temple he lived at. His father hadn’t been overprotective, just controlling and wanted Yoshi to stay a part of the clan in any way possible, even if his son didn’t get to experience a normal life. Now Yoshi was left standing alone in a place he’d never been to. He kept moving, weaving through crowds and avoiding children riding on their suitcases.
This place was loud and bright and even smelled weird. He hated how his senses were being overwhelmed, he hated how hard it was to breathe, he felt like he was suffocating. He needed to lie down or scream or both. His head felt like it was full of static, he couldn’t breathe! It was too much! TOO MUCH!

“Are you all right young man?” The voice cut through like a knife, Yoshi looked up to see an older woman holding her hand out to him. He was on the floor. Had he fallen? He couldn’t.. “you really should hop up off the floor, it’s filthy” the woman said as she grabbed his hand and pulled him up onto his feet. His legs were shaking. The woman proceeded to dust off his clothes with her hand. “Someone really should clean this floor” she muttered.
She turned to Yoshi “Now let’s help you to your gate, hmm” she took his hand and started walking. Yoshi followed.
“My gate?” He questioned. “Your gate is where the plane will be” she responded. Yoshi nodded. “Ive never been in an airport before” he told her. She nodded but said nothing. They continued walking. She led him to security and showed him what items to put in the trays. He took off his shoes and placed them in the tray. The woman walked through the metal detector, and waited for him on the other side. He was given the okay by the security man and tentatively walked through. His suitcase came out of the X-ray machine along with his shoes. The woman grabbed his suitcase while he put on his shoes, then they continued walking. They arrived at his gate and she helped him settle in to wait for his plane and then said her goodbyes.
“Thank you for helping me” Yoshi said. She smiled and gently took his hands in hers. “You’re welcome Mr- ” she trailed off, “oh, Yoshi. You can call me just Yoshi” he replied.
“Yoshi, well then. Yoshi I hope you have a lovely time wherever you’re going” she patted his hands, smiled at him once more and walked away. Yoshi stood there feeling the ghost of her touch still lingering on his hands. Whoever she was, wherever she was going, he wished her well.

Chapter Text

Yoshi had never been on a plane before. He was really starting to miss the old woman’s company as two strangers sat down beside him. He felt squished, his legs were already cramping in the small space he occupied. Shouldn’t it be moving by now? Apparently not, because he was left waiting for 20 minutes before the plane inched forward. He felt uncomfortable, the people beside him looked annoyed. In fact a lot of the passengers looked annoyed, and when Yoshi thought about it, he could understand why.
They were all in a tiny seat, crammed between other seats, with strangers sitting in close proximity, in a very loud, giant tin can. It was a lot to process for Yoshi, who was completely new to this.

Yoshi was lost in his thoughts and anxiety’s when a crackly voice came over the speaker. The voice announced he was, “the Captain of the plane” and that…something… something… Yoshi couldn’t understand him. The crackly voice of the Captain sounded more like gibberish than English, and the plane starting up wasn't helping. Yoshi was lost, no one else seemed bothered that the Captain's voice was unintelligible. He didn't understand. Why didn’t anyone care?

By this point the plane was turning onto the runway, and about to take off. Yoshi had not been paying attention to this fact, and he was not prepared for what would happen next.
He watched the flight attendants on the little screen connected to the seat in front. They were doing some type of safety demonstration. He watched in fascination and worry as the flight attendants showed where the exits on the plane were, what to do in a water landing, a brace position for crashes and how to attach an oxygen mask. It was so much information in such a short time, he was becoming overwhelmed with anxiety. Panic gripped him more when he noticed that a lot of people weren’t paying attention to the safety video and didn’t even seem to care about what was being said. It didn’t make sense!
A sudden jolt as the plane started speeding down the runway left him gripping his seat. He had not been expecting that AT ALL.
Yoshi closed his eyes as the plane finally took off and flew high into the air. The sudden weightlessness his body was feeling made his head ache and his ears pop. The plane tilted to one side and then flattened out as they reached cruising altitude.

With the plane evenly flying, Yoshi felt himself relax slightly. A flight attendant pushing a cart came around and asked if he wanted a drink and something to eat. He settled on a water and a packet of chips. He ate his food quietly and watched the clouds turn into different shapes outside the window.
His thoughts ran wild. He wondered what life would be like in a different country. How different was America to Tokyo? There were so many unknowns.
Yoshi had never been on his own before. He’d always had his father breathing down his neck and his brother constantly sticking by his side when they were kids. And then he’d had Shen, his amazing wife. The love of his life. She’d been so supportive and sweet. He loved her and she loved him, they had been soulmates. She was his everything. He would never use past tense when thinking and talking about her, no matter how much it hurt his heart. Because she was still with him, her spirit lived on in him. Husband and wife, an unbreakable bond that could never be broken. Even by death. Yoshi was left with these thoughts, thoughts that hurt so deeply and made him want to scream in anger. He couldn’t though, not here. Once he was safely in his apartment room in America, he would Let his grief flow freely.

The rest of the 15 hr flight went pretty smoothly. Yoshi had eventually fallen asleep and when he woke up, the plane was getting ready to land. He pulled on his seat belt and straightened his chair. He watched as the state of Mississippi came into view, the twinkling lights of the cityscape intrigued him. For the first time in his 28 years, he would be living in a city. His life was about to get a lot more interesting. And loud, as city’s tend to be.
His ears popped again as the plane dropped in altitude. Finally, they landed. Relatively smoothly, which Yoshi appreciated. Overall his first flight hadn’t been too bad.
The plane came to a stop and the seatbelt sign was turned off. Immediately the atmosphere of the plane shifted as the passengers hurriedly pulled out their suitcases from the overhead bins. The two people who had been sandwiched next to him looked exhausted and uncomfortable. They quickly grabbed their luggage and took off. Yoshi decided to not be waiting for who knows how long for everybody to get off the plane, so he grabbed his suitcase and headed towards the exit. The flight attendants thanked him for flying their airline and Yoshi bowed in response.
He walked into the terminal, suitcase in hand. He’d made it. A wave of relief and sadness passed over him. Relief at being in one piece, but a sadness from leaving all he’d ever known. He took a minute to compose himself and then continued walking.
He got through customs pretty quickly. He walked out of the airport doors and was greeted by the cool night air of Jackson, Mississippi.

He looked up at the sky. The stars were twinkling. He closed his eyes and breathed in the cold air, letting it fill up his lungs. A tear trickled down his cheek.
He could feel Shen holding him gently, whispering into his ear softly.
“Everything’s going to be ok my love. Remember that you are never alone, i’m with you, forever and always. This is what I promised you the day we got married.”
The string that connected their souls pulled tight, unbreakable and strong.

“Forever and always” he repeats quietly.