Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He woke up that morning late, he always does, his alarm clock blares at him to wake up, his clock displays that it’s 11:38 am. He sighs. The other toons are probably still at the food court, great. Now he has to go around toons he hates. He hates everyone. I mean, maybe a few of them he can tolerate.. but he hates them all, they talk too loud, or too quiet. He doesn’t really care which, he cares about being left alone.

He begrudgingly gets out of bed and puts on his usual outfit, some shitty white gym shorts, another shitty black tanktop, and a varsity jacket that was in the lost and found before garden view shut down. He makes sure to cover old bruising on his forehead with fluff so that he isn’t bothered, if anyone asks about the dots above his mouth, he cut himself shaving. Nobody actually cares enough to realize how he doesn’t shave. He brushes his teeth and washes his face. He wasn’t much for hygiene, but even he didn’t want an Infection.

He looks down at his hands, they look gross, fleshy and raw, a steady yet small flow of ichor oozing from his knuckles, his carapace cracked, pieces stabbed into his flesh. Shrimpo swears that he doesn’t do it on purpose. he keeps ruining them every time they start to heal. Just, punching things, mainly from his punching bags, two of them are still hanging and the other one’s chain broke. Now it’s just lying on the floor, useless and pathetic. Sometimes he uses it as a bench, it’s terrible for that too.

He spaced out for a bit— he takes some gauze he stole from gigi and wraps it, albeit poorly, around his hands, and his arms, just in case someone sees and decides to make a fuss about it. For a while he debates just not going to eat all together, but fuck it he’s hungry. Plus if he’s caught in the kitchen sprout will kill him, so might as well hurry. He puts on some shitty eyeliner, because let’s be honest, it’s only gay when glisten does it, when he does it it’s cool. and, ugh- tisha is forcing him to wear shoes. He keeps telling her that he “HATES THEM, THEY’RE THE UGLIEST SHOES I’VE EVER SEEN.” but in reality, they actually don’t look too bad, a crimson red just like the tips of his antenae. He only hates them because they hurt his feet, which everyone insists he’s standing tiptoed on, in actuality his feet are just kinda, built like that, but he’ll live, he’s already short.

He checks his clock, it’s about 12:02, so lunch isn’t for another hour, and most toons will actually be out of the food court. One of the things he’s not hateful towards is how poorly he judges time, because then he can be pleasantly surprised by things like this. He checked to make sure he looked alright in his.. well what remains of his mirror, and opens his door, slamming it and locking it for good measure. He didn’t want anybody in it, especially tisha. Last time he left his door unlocked his room looked so.. neat when he came back. And it reeked of cleaning chemicals so bad he vomited in his toilet.

He walked, more like stomped- his way to the elevator, eventually getting to it and waiting for the door to open, walking in. He waited for the doors to close then set it to the food court/lounge area, waiting, and tapping his foot. “I HATE HOW SLOW THESE ELEVATORS ARE!” He screams to supposedly the elevator. The elevator, clearly hurt by this, didn’t do anything. It’s an elevator. After about 2 minutes the elevator stops and the doors open. Much to the shrimp’s delight, the court is empty, not even a single toon. He takes a few steps and tries to run towards the kitchen, much to his dismay, he immediately trips on his own tail. Barely saving himself from falling on his face with his weird buggy.. well he doesn’t know what to call them, mini arms? Anyway, he gets up and looks around, despite the fact he’s sure nobody is there, just to be sure. He makes his way to the kitchen, mainly because sprout often threw away perfectly good ingredients and it had been his turn to cook breakfast.

As he’s walking, he just thinks about all the things he hates, he hates his stupid useless tail, these useless fucking shoes, the way those useless fucking shoes rub against his exoskeleton at it’s seams. He hates the way his shell is always itching, he hates the fact he has useless fucking gills, he hates his stupid- whatever they are on his chin making it impossible to sleep, he hates his stupid antennae, he hates his stupid fucking freakish lookin arm things, they never serve any actual purpose, he hates the stupid tile on these floors he hates- (yes this is only to describe my version of shrimpo fuck off) He runs face first into the double doors, okay, apparently he’s at the kitchen now. He.. doesn’t really know where anything is, since sprout banned him, but he settled for just finding something edible from the trash, that’s not bad, right? Plus sprout and Cosmo had already stopped cooking for him so he didn’t really have much of a choice did he? He found some pretty good stuff, a burnt omelet, some buttered toast with a lot of debris on it, and a whole thing of cinnamon! He shoved everything in his surprisingly large pockets, darting out of the kitchen as fast as possible just because the bakers would come soon to start making lunch.

He started walking out of the kitchen and fuck!- he ran into someone, or he saw someone and didn’t want to take his chances. Sprout was just walking out of the elevator with Cosmo, ugh, he swears they’re not dating but shrimpo knows, he always knows. The second they’re out of view he debates running into the elevator, but decides against it, the noise would be too loud and people would know he was here. Instead, he opted to just check if the lounge was empty. Thankfully, it was empty, he was just gonna eat anyway so he sat on the couch and ate what he considered a meal, aka a burnt omelette and some filthy toast. He was a fast eater, so he was already done by the time toons started flooding in.

Goob and scraps got there first, ‘great’ he thought, ‘two idiots instead of one’ he doesn’t pay much attention to them as scraps complains to goob about getting there early “I mean goob! Sprout and Cosmo usually let you get food first anyways, why do we have to be so early to lunch? I was trying to repair my dress!” she points to a spot her dress got wet and a chunk tore off “I mean I don’t mind waiting here for food but theres nobody else here!” Goob looks a bit hurt but keeps up the debate “Yeah but you can do that anytime, the early bird gets the worm! Plus, shrimpo’s here!” Goob waves with his stupid grin “Hi Shrimpo!”

“I HOPE YOUR FOOD IS BURNT!!” Shrimpo immediately yells back, lounging on the couch with little regard for the other toons in the room. “Why are you even here anyways? Don’t you usually just eat in your room or something?” Scraps rightfully presses him about it. Shrimpo, stumped, thinks for a bit before responding with something he would usually say “I HATE GETTING MY FOOD LATE!” “Shrimpo you literally where such a jerk that Sprout and Cosmo don’t cook for you what do you mean?” “SHUT UP RECYCLING.” “Okay jeez” after a few seconds of silence, finn bursts in aswell, shrimpo just sighs in frustration Finn immediately decides that he’s wanted and starts with the tirade of fish puns “Howdy sailors! What’s going prawn with y’all?” Shrimpo is not having it however, “FINN.” “Yeah?” “GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE AND KRILL YOURSELF.” the room goes silent, finn is reasonably offended and retorts “Well at least if I died people wouldn’t be glad I was gone.” Shrimpo gets offended and retorts back “WELL AT LEAST I DON’T TRY TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE ME” finn scoffs, “WELL AT LEAST I’M NOT A HIDEOUS SHADE OF ORANGE.” Shrimpo gets mad at that, and lunges at finn, punching him in the arm.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” Shrimpo hits him again, “MAKE ME” Finn elbows shrimpo in the face, Shrimpo kicks finn in the knee, causing him to lose his balance and fall. Shrimpo takes the opportunity and starts hitting Finn. Finn kicks shrimpo off of him and grabs his antennae. Shrimpo screeches in pain, then shoves finn back down. Shattering glass is heard, Finn’s leg has a massive crack in it, but that doesn’t make Shrimpo stop, instead he goes to punch Finn again. Finn doesn’t know what to do, so he grabs a piece of glass from his leg and swipes at shrimpo, not meaning to cut him very deeply, just to get him to stop. But he felt the dread pool in his stomach when he felt the resistance of flesh, and the ichor dripping down his hand.

Finn rushes up and stammers, panicked and confused “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SHRIMPO ARE YOU- OH MY GOD!!” Shrimpo starts panicking, sitting on his knees. He raises a hand to his face, his fingers graze the cut and he feels the horrible sting. His hands start dripping in hot ichor, he tries to say something, to yell or to scream, but when he opens his mouth all he can taste is the metallic taste flooding into his mouth, ichor filling it. He can’t think about anything else. His breathing picks up, his ears are ringing so loud he can’t here the sounds of panicked yelling around him. He feels nauseous, he stands up, stumbling to the counter, where there’s a sink for washing your hands. He leans over the sink and the fast pitter patter of ichor dripping into it is enough to push him over the edge. He vomits, bright glowing teal expelling itself from his body. ‘Thanks, but this really isn’t the time for a Lightshow!’ He thinks to himself, looking down at the sink, bright teal mixing ans swirling with inky black ichor. He can’t move. Even if he wanted to, his arms are locked in place and so are his legs. He can barely hear the sound of running and faint shouts over his own panic, he’s getting dizzy, he sees Cosmo start rushing towards him, but he can’t figure out why before his legs give out, and his head hits the counter.

Everything goes black.

End of chapter.

Chapter Text

He never liked his dreams much, usually just other toons tormenting him, or himself. A weird version of himself, tormenting him. He couldn’t quite make out what was different about it, but he knew something about that version of him was just.. better. To rephrase, he hated his dreams. Luckily, he didn’t dream, just a blank void he was thrown into when his head hit the counter. He just woke up on the lounge room couch again, confused as all hell. Then the sharp pain in his face hit him, and he suddenly remembered everything that happened leading up to that. He sat up quickly, immediately regretting it when he had to stop himself from falling over. Finn, who was the only other person in the lounge at the time, noticed he was awake and rushed over
“I am so sorry I didn’t- are you okay? Do you feel alright? You should probably lay back down I- I should go get Cosmo and sprout” finn then immediately leaves.

Shrimpo on the other hand, processed about 30% of what finn had said, something about those two queers who swear they aren’t gay for eachother. Everything was hazy, he instinctively, or maybe out of paranoia felt his head for his antennae, and was immediately glad that they where still there. They where usually warmer than most of his body but they where uncannily cold. Oh, so that’s why everything is so.. fuzzy. More so than usual at least, sometimes his antennae would go cold when he hit his head on something too hard, or just slept for too long. This was clearly the first one though, hitting his head on a counter Didn’t really do any favors for them. After struggling to try and sit up for a few minutes he just.. decides to lay back down, trying was exhausting and had no point anyways. He takes the opportunity to look at his clothes, black tanktop sticky with ichor, it soaking into his fur and into the seams of his carapace. His sneakers had black rimming the bottom, so he had probably bled more than he realized.

He raises his hand to his face and his fingers graze against bandages with a wince. Wait a minute- his fingers, when he puts bandages on his hands he always wraps the gauze around his fingers aswell. These ones where neater, they stopped just below his finger joint and where much neater than he could manage to do. And they where a different color of white… someone had changed them. Someone had seen, at very least the state of his hands. He.. he didn’t like that. Best to just wish it away for now.. ugh.

Sprout and Cosmo where talking as they walked in, they sounded concerned, he couldn’t really tell from where he was. His hearing was usually better, he just.. his antennae. They where just as good as sticks on his head at the moment. They hadn’t noticed he was awake yet, finn just called them over then ran away to his room.

“I mean he seems fine enough, he didn’t lose that much blood” Cosmo says hopefully, glancing back at sprout, “ ‘that much’? It took like 30 minutes to clean that, that is not a small amount” sprout responded with a bit of exasperation, “Fair” Cosmo responded, walking over to the counter to wash his hands, stopping and wiping a bit of dried ichor off the counter, “Yuck! Well appearently you’re not very good at cleaning if 30 minutes doesn’t even get everything off!” Sprout defended himself, “Well tisha was busy, what was I supposed to do? Leave the massive ichor stain on the counter? Scraps told me that goob was already scared enough, you know he doesn’t like looking at fresh ichor!” Cosmo just sighed and started washing his hands, “Why do you always have a good counter measurement?? It’s impossible to argue with you!” “Isn’t that a good thing..?” Sprout sounded confused, “Well yeah, it’s just annoying” Cosmo replied, walking over and kissing sprout on the cheek before setting some things down on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“Oh! Sprout!”, Cosmo waves sprout over “He’s awake” “oh good” sprout responds, walking over. “He doesn’t look awake to me” he looks at Shrimpo, who is kinda just laying there with his eyes open. He can’t really pay attention to much and can barely hear anything, so he’s more focussed on trying to hear than actually understanding what people are saying. “What! Sprout you need glasses or something his eyes are literally open!” “Well then why isn’t he saying anything?” “Huh.. you got a point, hopefully he doesn’t have brain damage or something, that was a nasty hit” Cosmo ponders, sprout just flicks shrimpo’s shoulder.

Shrimpo jolts up and gives sprout a glare “I’m awake I’m awake- why did you do that!?” “You weren’t doing anything how was I supposed to know?” “What?” “Did I stutter?”“What are you saying?? I can’t hear you” “Cosmo you made him deaf” “I’m sure that I didn’t sprout.” Cosmo thinks for a second “maybe it’s his antennae? Sometimes when I sleep weird mine go limp” “oh that makes more sense” sprout nods his head a little and pokes Shrimpo's antenna, making Shrimpo slap sprout “WHATEVER YOU’E DOING, QUIT IT!” “Hey! What was that for!” “Sprout, you know how I feel about you touching mine, apply that to Shrimpo please.” Sprout groans “I get what you mean about not being able to argue now.” He sighs “Fine, that makes sense, I just wanted to feel if they where cold or not” “well?” “They are” Cosmo thinks for a second then turns to Shrimpo “damn, well uhh, SHRIMPO!” “ACK! WHAT?” “CAN YOU HEAR ME WHEN I’M NOT YELLING?” “NO” “OKAY” he turns back to sprout “See? Although I can still hear roughly well when mine do that.. whatever he’s different”

After a bit of talking shrimpo randomly jolts up and presses his hand to his forehead “OW FUCK!!” Cosmo and sprout where reasonably panicked “What happened!” “Uhh.. Yeah what he said!” Shrimpo ruffles his.. well I don’t know if you would call it hair, his fluff a bit before responding “I’m fine, everything’s fine, my antennas did this thing.. oh wait I can hear now” “oh thank the moon we can stop yelling now” Cosmo sighed in relief “Thank who?” “AH!! Oh, just you” astro was walking by and decided to make a presence, “Oh, he’s awake” “How many toons are involved in this??” Shrimpo either sounded inquisitive, offended, or both. Probably both. “Just like, us and him” sprout answered. “Oh.. well GOOD!- wait why is astro involved?” “He just want-“ astro cut Cosmo off “I just wanted to, plus I’m good with gory stuff” he side eyes sprout “well moreso than others here” “hey!” “It’s true.”

The sounds of bickering kind of drift off into the distance for Shrimpo, why is everyone here just arguing? Well, he can’t be talking. He hates when OTHER toons are arguing, he’s supposed to be doing that. He’s hungry, also where’s his jacket? He can’t really do much while sitting around doing nothing on the couch, so he shifts around a little and stands up, bracing himself on the couch. He walks around for a second before stretching. “Hey where did you put my jacket?” The sound of arguing stops and they all turn to look at the standing shrimpo “Oh so he stands” “sprout shut up “YOU SHUT UP NOVALITE!” “You both need to be normal for five seconds” Cosmo tried to keep them from fighting again “shrimpo, what are you doing?” “Asking where my jacket is” “it’s in the wash, we all know ichor stains stuff easily” “then why-“ “astro said that you wouldn’t take very well if we took off your clothes. I agree, also nobody wants to do that, it feels to weird” “there is no situation where you need to go into that much detail” “Ehh, I don’t really care” Cosmo did in fact, not care

“Okay well I would like to have a jacket still” Astro sighed “Why do you even need a jacket?” “I’m cold” “aren’t shrimp cold blooded?” “Exactly, cold blooded animals need to retain warmth since they can’t generate it, so that only makes it make more sense he would need a jacket” Cosmo interrupted “I have a few spares in the kitchen that I can grab it’s fine” Cosmo gets up and goes to the kitchen, coming back in a few minutes and tossing a black hoodie at shrimpo “There, as much as I don’t like you, I’m not inconsiderate. Unlike some people here” he side eyes the two mains standing at the other side of the couch then sighs “dandy said you’ll be off mission schedules for as long as it takes to heal, in the meantime you need to drink more water, and as much as sprout would like to protest, WE will be cooking for you, because I doubt you know how to cook anything healthy, and snacks aren’t a good food source.” Sprout scoffs but instantly looks very happy with this decision when Cosmo glares at him

Shrimpo slides on the hoodie, it’s comfortable despite being pretty low quality. It’s a lot baggier on him than on Cosmo but he honestly likes it better this way. They talk a bit more about it and agree that Shrimpo will see astro every now and then to see how it’s healing, since he was the main on his floor. And they eventually sent him away with a spare water bottle, some skittles, and some Annie’s gummies.

Later, while they’re cooking dinner

“Why did you give him all that Cosmo?” Sprout questioned, neither of them like shrimpo at all, so he genuinely didn’t know why “I don’t know sprout, maybe because we haven’t been cooking for him for a while, and he’s been sneaking into the kitchen at night or something, I don’t care normally, but I don’t like it when toons get hurt, neither should you.” Cosmo goes back to chopping vegetables or Something idk how to cook don’t ask me.

End of chapter.

Chapter Text

(Takes Place Right after chapter 2 ^_^)

His door closes. The lock clicks. His room is silent, the only sound being the soft thud when he sits down on his bed. Sitting there, nothing happens for a few moments, everything still. Then it came flooding in, like a violent wave on a sailboat. Cosmo had been concerned for him.

And he didn’t even know the truth.

Why was he concerned for Shrimpo? He was terrible, he didn’t deserve concern. He didn’t need it, he was fine. He shouldn’t be making them cook for him, he doesn’t need it- he’s the whole reason he’s not able to. He’s dealing with it, he’s fine. How if something this small tearing him apart like this? It’s affection, it’s positive. Why does he only feel dread? Why does he write about being cared for, in the notes he throws away. Yet it just feels so wrong. He doesn’t deserve this! Why is Cosmo doing this? How long? How long until this thing heals and he can go back to a place he can feel normal? He wanted this, he thought he did at least.. why does he feel so uncomfortable with this? It’s just food. It’s just a few meals. Why is this bothering him so much?

He wipes tears away from his face

He’s supposed to be better than this, to be confident, uncaring, strong. But he’s not strong, he’s built up a hard shell but he’s soft, insecure and vulnerable at the smallest crack. All it takes is one thing for it all to come pouring out. At least he can hide it. No matter how hard it is, he can always fend it off for just a moment longer, just a moment longer. Just long enough for him to lock himself in his room, crawl out of his shell, wish he knew how to cry. He takes off the hoodie, he didn’t need it to keep warm, he lied. That’s one thing he’s good at, lying. He just wanted to hide himself. Something about himself, about his body, it’s wrong. He doesn’t know how, it’s just wrong. He doesn’t like looking at it. Cosmo was never easy to lie to, he didn’t look like he believed it. He looked at Shrimpo when he agreed to get the hoodie, that look. That look he couldn’t decipher, it was just… knowing. He didn’t like it.

He didn’t like a lot of things, hate? No. He hated very little, he didn’t- maybe he did? He just branded everything with the word hate. He screams and riots and breaks things. He’s terrible, he can’t even be truthful to himself anymore. He was worse to everyone around him still. He needed to even out the score. Sprout was right to ban him, Cosmo was right to stop serving him. Why are they starting again! Why are they being so kind! He’s not a kind toon- he doesn’t deserve this! He’s cruel! He’s so fucking cruel! Why? Why are they trying to help him? He got himself hurt, in a fight that he started, over an argument that he started, all because he didn’t know when to stop!

He wishes he knew what was wrong with him, he’s curled up on his bed, crying as quietly as possible, over someone cooking for him. He looks ridiculous, he’s glad he locked his door. He would rather die than someone see him like this. And not the kind of ‘dying’ that happens on missions, violently and unnaturally torn apart, feeling your ichor pour out, soak Into the ground just to remold itself in the lobby again. He hated missions, just another thing he was bad at. So he didn’t feel all too sad about that. Just two weeks. He hoped to whatever sick creature would create this world that Cosmo would stop after then. He felt trapped. Pathetic.

He wasn’t pathetic, he was strong. He had to be strong, if he isn’t strong, he’s just there, being rude. That’s a truth he doesn’t like to face. He can prove he’s strong. He’s a strong toon. Not weak. He gets up, wipes off his tears. He walks to his punching bags, he needed practice, he just needed to get some anger out.

One hit

His left hand buzzes with pain, pieces of shell stabbing, cracking, gnashing.

Another hit

His right hand does the same.

He doesn’t stop when his hands start to throb between punches, not when ichor starts bleeding through his bandages, he only stops when he can see small black drops on the floor. He goes to his bathroom and changes out the bandages. He isn’t despaired, he doesn’t regret what he’s done, his mind is clear. The shouts and screams of agony and discomfort silenced. Replaced by throbbing, stinging pain. It feels natural, it feels comforting. Sometimes he regrets it. But in this moment, it feels like a warm sunbeam on a winter morning. It feels like it’ll help, you can feel the cold stinging at your skin, but the warmth is distracting.

It’s not like anyone will notice

End of half chapter.

Chapter Text

(Takes Place About an hour after the half chapter ^_^ (about 7:30) timeline: shrimpo wakes up 11:00, passes out at like, almost 1:00, wakes up at 4:00, gets back to his room at 6:25 (rough times not exact) just to help y’all get a scope!)

He sits on his bed, wondering, waiting. He has to change out his bandages, the ones on his hands at least. They bled through a few minutes after he put the fresh ones on. He’s just been sitting around for an hour, doing nothing. That’s something he doesn’t like, no, he hates it. He has to get up, escape the whirlwind of thoughts in his head. Sprout said to replace his face bandages every day, he even have Shrimpo some fancy gauze or something to do it.

He gets up, his tail falling from the spot on the bed he propped it up on as he walks to his bathroom. He’s glad the toons all have a personal one, he guesses making artificial life is a proud accomplishment for them. They wanted the toons to be comfortable. He was never comfortable, never satiated. Theres a burning deep inside of him, never fueled, struggling to stay alive. It turns his lungs and heart into charcoal, a small price to pay to keep the fire alive. The flames lick at his skin, it burns all his soft tissues away. It forms a hard shell, fixes him when he starts falling apart. It turns rotted wood into a hard mineralized stone, it isn’t a problem being empty if you’re durable.

He opens his drawer and grabs some stuff, setting it down on the counter. Some bandages he stole, some type of gauze from sprout, and some hand sanitizer. It wasn’t ideal, but it was what he had. Last time he got hurt enough to need help in front of other toons Cosmo had told him to ‘never let water touch a wound that deep!’ At least he didn’t need to clean the cut on his face, they already did that much for him. He just needed to change the shitty wrapping every day for two weeks. He unravels the bandages, first on his hands, it was harder than usual, his hands where shaking and he couldn’t feel a couple of his fingers.

His hands where in bad condition, ichor dripping from them at a lazy pace, slowly splattering on the counter. He flexes his hands, on his right hand his pinky doesn’t flex all the way, on his right hand two fingers do the same. Curious, he brushes them along the counter, he can’t feel anything in those fingers. That can’t possibly be good. It’s whatever, there’s nothing he can do right now, it’ll surely go away.

He carefully unravels the bandages on his face, his reflection disgusts him, but he has to see what he’s bandaging. The cut is long, stretching from under one eye to the other, a small jagged edge near his left eye. He’s glad the glass avoided his eyes. He could just say finn sure, but finn did nothing wrong. It was a defensive reflex shrimpo caused, the only reason finn even had a weapon was that shrimpo cracked his leg. He could blame Finn sure, avoid all the responsibility and just be… a bully. But that isn’t right. He might be mean, but he deserves to be fair about this. Finn didn’t take it too far, he did.

The cut is pressed and sealed tightly, just a thin red line with a cloud of grayish pink swelling lining it. Sealed together with staples. He brushes his finger- one that he could feel of course, along the metal lines, it hurt slightly. He takes the fancy gauze thing and rolls it over his face. He took a photo of how sprout wrapped it on his phone so he would get it right. It was a bit frustrating since his hands refused to function properly.

He finally got it though, nice and tightly wrapped. He reminded himself to do something after he was done with his hands. Speaking of which, he takes some toilet paper and wads it up in some sink water, squishing it to get any excess off before carefully wiping off his hands, stopping wherever he felt a sting, being careful not to wet the badly mangled parts.

After that he pats it dry, now the bad parts are more clear, and the bleeding slowed a lot. He takes a few squares of toilet paper and folds them up, pumping a bit of hand sanitizer on it and spreading it. He didn’t really like this next part, but it was what he had to do. He waits for the hands sanitizer to soak in a little before wiping down his hand with it, gnashing his teeth together and wincing at the patches of open flesh being blowtorched by it.

He takes some of the fancy gauze, just because his fingers being numb had actually started to worry him a little, and wrapped it around the bad parts. Then he went back and bandaged his hands in entirety with his normal stuff. He left it how whoever had wrapped it last time did it, mostly the same, just with more of his fingers open.

He remembers something, he runs to his bedside table and opens the drawer, grabbing a few things and running back into his bathroom. He didn’t need to be in his restroom, it was just the only mirror he had (that was intact). He takes a red sharpie and a black one and starts doing what he had planned to. He took his time, frustratingly, and wrote out ‘SHRIMPO!!!’ In red sharpie along the bandages on his face, then going back and writing it in black, making a nice layered effect. He cracks a small smile at his work, he usually doesn’t smile, but it was one of the rare times he was proud of something.

He found his eyes wandering in the mirror, to those spots above his mouth. Maybe he regrets it.. whatever, he should just stop thinking about it. They’ll just come back next time, maybe he’ll tear them off again. He goes and puts back on the hoodie Cosmo gave him, just to notice a weird weight in the pocket.. after sliding it on he checks inside to see a small pocket sized notebook. He sits down and undoes the band holding it shut.

He opens it, the first page has ‘Property of shrimpo’ written on it, in rather neat handwriting. The next page has a message written on it weirdly enough..

“Shrimpo, your jacket will be in the kitchen by the time you’re reading this, you’ll get it at dinner. I wouldn’t be surprised if you where confused as to why this is in here, and to why there’s a message. You can write everything you can’t say out loud in here, I see your glances. The times when you pause mid sentence, or randomly shift to yelling. Cosmo didn’t place this, I hope you don’t know who put this here, but I’m worried. I see you and I’m worried. The bandages, your hands.. I get why you would hide it. But, if you don’t want to talk to someone about this, just get the thoughts out. I know how it can be, a whirlwind in your head. It might seem silly, but it helps.
Sincerely, a concerned toon”

He’s so sucked in he doesn’t even pay attention to the fact he’s been turning about four pages, he only really snaps back when he sees dark round stains appear on the pages. He hadn’t even noticed he was tearing up. This was all so strange, who had left this? You know what- just- agh! It’s hard to wrap his mind around it but, it seems like it would make sense. It’s hard for him to write, and it took pretty long just to read that, but it makes sense. He can talk to nobody, he doesn’t have to seal it all in. He has to change the cover somehow, maybe he could just sharpie it-

His thoughts are interrupted by a loud noise, a knock at the door. He quickly shoves the notebook in his pocket and scrambles to open the door, standing in the doorway so whoever it is doesn’t see the state of his room. He clears his head and answers the door. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?” It’s astro, he doesn’t seem fazed by the yelling past a small flinch. “Sprout told be you had to eat at the normal mealtimes” he looks at shrimpo’s decorated bandage “Nice lettering, cmon, nobody else in this hall is late so we might as well go together” shrimpo just scoffs and closes his door “WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO GO WITH YOU SO BAD. HMM! YOU LITTLE FFFFFF-“ he pauses on the syllable, finger still accusatively pointed at astro, he doesn’t read Astro’s expression he just stops himself “F- YOU GAY TWINK!!” Astro honestly wouldn’t care if he’d said it “Nice save, anyway- sprout doubts you’d willingly go, and also said someone had left your jacket in the kitchen and you had to at least grab it” shrimpo pauses, then questions “Why are you only talking to sprout and not Cosmo, hm?!” “We’re just closer” “But you where-“ “Yes we where fighting, close friends do that all the time”

They walk in silence for a while, astro is the one to break it “So, what’s with your hands? They’ve been shaking this whole time, I couldn’t help but notice” “WHAT! NO THEY ARENT!” Shrimpo firmly denies this “Okay whatever” Astro is quick to drop it, not having the energy to argue with shrimpo. He presses the elevator button and goes in, shrimpo following. After the painstakingly long elevator ride they both step out. Shrimpo stumbles a bit, maybe it’s the change in lighting that throws him off.. astro just side eyes him and continues walking over to the counter where the bakers where serving food.

A few toons looked confused as to why shrimpo had bandages on, the rest just scowled at him. It felt bad. He knows he caused this, it still feels bad. They stop at the counter and Cosmo greets them.

“Oh! Hello astro, hello shrimpo! Dinner today is some stir fry, do either of you want rice?” “Yes please” they both say in unison, astro gives shrimpo the look, and shrimpo burns up a little “IT’S A REFLEX OKAY” “…sure buddy” Cosmo looks at them both with the same face he made when sprout and astro where arguing. “If you two are done, should I just give you some chopsticks or like, a fork, or something?” “Chopsticks” “a fork” they both say at the same time. Astro looks at shrimpo confused, shrimpo just glares back. Cosmo leaves for a few minutes before returning with two bowls of rice and stir fry, one with chopsticks and one with a fork, and shrimpo’s racket, neatly folded. “Here you go, and here you go shrimpo”

Shrimpo takes his jacket and his bowl, walking over and sitting at the emptiest corner. He starts eating, thankfully his left hand wasn’t totally weird, so he could still use the chopsticks. It actually tasted really good. He hadn’t eaten a good meal in at very least two years, so he just let himself enjoy it. At least as much as he could, eating like this made him nauseous. He had finished it all in a few minutes though, placing his empty bowl and chopsticks on the counter along with other dirty dishes.

He walks back to the elevator and eventually makes his way back to his room, taking off the hoodie and holding the small notebook. He throws the hoodie to the floor and hangs his preferred jacket on one of his punching bags. He lays on his floor and fiddles with the notebook, wondering how useful it could actually be.

End of chapter.

Chapter Text

The notebook was roughly the size of his hand, he mentally noted that it was difficult to tell because his hands kept shaking. Sometimes his hands would shake if he was stressed, but this was going on for a while, and he didn’t feel more stressed than usual.. maybe he should ask someone about that. But who? Astro? He has to write down somewhere that his name sounds like asstoe. He did realize it earlier, it could be worth mentioning? What could it even be? He honestly had to clue. He could try and get a book from the library? But that would just make his hands more obvious.. where they shaking more? No they’re still the same.

He opens the notebook, alright if someone left it here than he might as well use it. He starts writing on the next clean page.

“My hands are being weird, I wonder what that is. They’re shaking? And some of my fingers are weird and numb. I mean, it hurts less than usual, so it can’t be anything bad.”

The writing is messy and takes up the whole page, contrasting with the pages of neat cursive in front of it. His handwriting is abysmal already, his hand situation isn’t helping. He considered trying to sharpie the notebook black or red, but it had a fake leather texture on the outside and when he tried it just wiped off. It really was a shame, it was an ugly green. ‘Well, that didn’t help at all’ he thinks to himself, the message said it would help to say things he couldn’t out loud, maybe they meant something different. He was supposed to get his cut checked up on tomorrow, he wasn’t looking forward to it.

He eventually builds up the motivation to get up, stowing his weird notebook in his bedside table drawer. He was a slob sure, but his shell was itchy, and has been for a few days now. It would be better to just take the extra precautions.

He changes out of his usual outfit and into some pajamas, he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing them in front of other toons, but they where fucking comfortable. Glisten got him them as a joke, but he genuinely enjoys wearing them a little. A matching light pink cropped shirt and short shorts. He didn’t really get the point of them, they where shorter than his boxers for fucks sake! But they where comfortable, and it’s not like anyone was ever gonna see him in this getup.

Glisten also gave him one of those ridiculously fancy silk robes, he was really committed to that prank. It was one of the only times he got anything, toons poking fun at him on Christmas. He always left early so he would get his gifts first, usually two at most, or sometimes none. He’d open them, pretend to hate them, ‘keep them out of spite’ and leave. He only really leaves early because he always puts a few cheap extra gifts if he realizes any toon didn’t get anything. He cared, in some secret sealed off part of him he cared. Maybe he lets it out sometimes, only for small things.

He wishes he could just say he got extra gifts, he never actually got them though. He just spent all that time holed up in his room during December making stupid things. A pop up tree, a drawing, literally just cardboard, never much more than 3. He didn’t just spend all his time wasted on other toons, he just wanted everyone to have a part of the year where their happy. Where he can just grumble about decorations instead of insulting the crappy gifts toons got.

He only really wore them when he thought he was gonna molt, and given his bad luck (and the fact it’s been a while since last one) he was pretty sure that was gonna be soon. When he wakes up he’ll get some softer clothes out of his closet. He goes to his bed and crawls under the covers. He was tired. It’s been a long (4 chapters long) day today after all.

His thoughts wander, and his eyes start feeling more comfortable closed, his antennae go limp and he eventually drifts off.

Chapter Text

He woke up with toons moving him, he couldn’t tell what was going on bit everyone was wearing black, and he was holding a bouquet of
marigolds, his favorite flower. The toons set him down, he couldn’t tell who they where. He couldn’t quite find the strength to move for
some reason. He looked down at himself, or what he was wearing..

He was wearing a dark rose dress, the sleeves covering his hands to their fingertips, the dress ending just above his feet. He was still laying down, it was comfortable, but he could barely see. A lid closed down on his body, he could only look up at the ceiling, and see toons with faces he can’t recognize. Not twisted in agony or grief, but all with a look of relief plastered on their faces. Toons stop coming over, and he hears a speech.

“Shrimpo, why he was always by our side, despite the fact he wasn’t wanted! The only good trait he has is stubbornness! He just doesn’t know when to stop! Like when he dumped water on Vee, or stuck thumbtacks in looey’s room. I’m sure he views this whole thing as one big joke, we’re just there to entertain him! Like just earlier today, when he attacked finn. That glass shard must’ve been our savior! He’s finally gone! Now enjoy the event!”

There are sounds of toons talking and laughing, wine glasses clinking and footsteps. Only on figure goes to him, not smiling. And not crying. A hand outstretches and places a single rose on his chest. Whoever it is, their face is covered in ichor, their eyes bloodshot red. He can’t move to try and help them. He can’t even breath. He just lies there, in his coffin. They close the lid, and he becomes engulfed in darkness, it feels almost good.

Until he realizes his eyes are just closed, and sits up. That was a really fucking weird dream. Like, REALLY weird. He grabs his notebook and writes down everything he can remember, not caring about sentences, just writing.

“Black outfits, coffin, red dress, marigolds, white ceilings, rose, mangled visitor, talking, guilt, joy.”

His writing is messy, he doesn’t know whats so important about this dream but it just felt different. More vivid. More coherent. It starts fading out of his mind, part of him wants to grasp at it, keep it forever. But he doesn’t want to think about it. So he lets it go.

He gets up and rummages around in his closet, he has some actual high quality clothes in there. After a few minutes he finds them, a black long sleeved shirt, and some nicer shorts. He throws them on his bed and changes into them, sliding on his jacket. His hands are still shaking. Shit. It’s fine, he’s fine. He just needs to get ready and get out of his room.

He does the usual, puts of eyeliner, goes through every nuance of his outfit just to find what other toons might judge, his eyeliner is even, his jacket covers himself, his hands are bandaged. If he clenches his hands enough they stop shaking. He checks his clock, it’s 3 am. Oh. Well what does he do now? He could get a snack from the kitchen? He isn’t very hungry, plus he still has that cinnamon.

He wants to practice his boxing, but also he’s kind of scared about his hands now. He has a phone, and some cheap wired headphones.

He lies on his bed and listens to his playlist (mostly Mitski) on shuffle. He can’t find himself going back to sleep anyways. He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there, spacing out and letting his mind go where it wants to. That’s when he gets snapped out of it by a knock at the door. He takes out his headphones and throws his phone on the bed, opening the door.

“Hello?” Shrimpo said with as bored of a voice as he could muster. Astro was standing at his door with a bag of stuff carried in his star magic things “Hi. I’m supposed to look at your face thing today” “oh.. right. Why are you at my door then??” “I don’t trust you in my room” “well then neither do I!” “I honestly don’t care, I want to get this done because I have other things to do” shrimpo sighs and opens his door enough for Astro to walk in “Fine.”

He closes the door behind Astro, and sits on the floor against the wall. While he’s waiting, Astro is just marveling at how terrible shrimpo’s room is. There’s a bed, bedside table, small dresser and a closet that looks like a safety hazard. The only other thing in there is the punching bags, and overall filth. “How.. why? Should I even ask?” Astro is genuinely puzzled by how one accomplishes this “No, you said you wanted to get it over with. Let’s get it over with.”

He starts undoing the wrapping on his face, despite his hands shaking he gets it off in a pretty reasonable amount of time. “Uhh, well it looks fine to me” astro says nonchalantly “Aren’t you the medical guy? What do you mean ‘fine to me’??” “It doesn’t look infected. If you want me to be concerned about something then I’ll stay, but otherwise I’ll be going” “okay well bye then.” shrimpo waves him off, only to get an undesired response from astro

“What the fuck is up with your hands?” “What?” “They where shaking like crazy yesterday and today, that doesn’t just happen to people” “well it’s nothing concerning.” Shrimpo crosses his arms “Well then if you don’t know what it is can I take a look?” “NO!” shrimpo barks at astro, astro reels back a little “Jesus! What was that for!?” “I don’t want you looking at my hands.” “Well now I’m just more concerned , why are you so firm on me not seeing?” Shrimpo doesn’t know what to say, but he doesn’t like being caught in a lie. So he tries to avoid it still. “I just don’t want you to! Have you never heard of a fucking boundary??” “I have, but your hands are freaking me out, it can’t be that bad! Just let me see what’s wrong!” “I HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL!!” “NO YOU DON’T.”

The room goes silent for a bit, shrimpo is the first to say something. “Oh yeah? And how do you know that I don’t?” “You’re just..” he sighs, “You’re shrimpo. It’s hard for me to trust you’re responsible enough to not hide something from me.” “Wow, I’m loving the caring and trusting environment here” “thanks, I am to.”

“Look, it could be something serious- just let me look” astro tries to bargain with shrimpo. Shrimpo hesitates…………… “fine.” He starts to unwrap the bandage himself but astro stops him and just unwraps them himself, tossing the ones dirtied with ichor aside.

He winces at the work of art that is shrimpo’s hand, murmuring something under his breath before going back to talking with shrimpo “How the actual flying fuck did you do that? There’s like- what?” Astro sputters a bit and shrimpo just scoffs “What, never seen ichor before?” “Dude, what on earth are you doing???” “Practicing.” “Practicing what? A standoff with the fucking avengers?? Literally HOW” Shrimpo immediately goes to the defence “what? Can’t handle a little pain?” “Shrimpo I swear- HOW DID IT GET WORSE IN A DAY.” Shrimpo just keeps defending without thinking “That’s because I actually spend my time doing th- wait what do you mean worse?” Astro silently curses himself “shit.” “THAT WAS YOU??” Shrimpo sputters a bit “WHERE YOU THE NOTEBOOK PERSON TOO?? HOW. WHEN???” “Well you know I have low stealth.. I just snuck it in there” “WHY ARE YOU REVERSE PICK POCKETING ME!! AND QUIT PSYCHOANALYZING ME!!” Shrimpo keeps ranting on a bit before just deciding to be civil “Okay, well you are medical person thing” “EMS trained” “That- so can you just look at my hand normally and figure out why it’s doing that?” “Fine. Sprout told me you has antiseptic so at least that’s go-“ “not true.” Shrimpo cuts astro off

“Not true, I told him I had something that might work and he accepted that as a yes.” “Okay, then what do you have?” “Hand sanitizer” astro looks over at Shrimpo with a mix of horror and confusion “Jesus fucking Christ- are you putting hand sanitizer in an open wound…?” “Well.. yeah” “Jesus Christ! Stop doing that!” Astro rambles off about how bad of an idea that is while getting some things from his bag, including: a metal tray thing, some sterile tweezers, a pack of cotton balls, and some pain relieving antiseptic. “Okay I’m gonna actually.. fix whatever the fuck you have going on over here because why is your carapace not only cracked- but stabbing you???” Astro doesn’t expect an answer, moving shrimpo’s hand to the tray and wiping the area around the open fleshy parts.

“Alright, this is going to Hurt” Astro puts on some gloves and opens the tweezers, starting to carefully remove pieces of carapace from in and on the open wounds, tossing them into a Tupperware from his bag, for a few minutes of silence it’s just the sound of shell hitting plastic and tweezers clicking until Shrimpo finally says something.

“Why did you do it? The notebook I mean.” Astro doesn’t look over from what he’s doing but still responds “I was worried” Shrimpo snaps back faster replies than astro, clearly stressed over this “Why? You barely know me!” Astro stays as focussed as possible “I’m still allowed to be worried. Sprout and Cosmo has to prepare lunch, so they asked me to change your hand bandage thingies, since they got pretty gross. That made me more worried I guess; seeing that. I’m more worried still at this” Astro rambles while taking out shards of carapace, “I don’t know, this is worrying. This should go without saying but don’t punch anything until those fully heal. Not with those hands at least.” He pauses his shell extracting for a second to gesture to shrimpo’s smaller arms “No way, last time I tried I broke my hand and my punching bag” Astro chuckles a bit “seems like you’re breaking your hands anyways”

They keep up small talk for a little while, Astro finishes on the hand he was working on and wipes it down with some antiseptic, wrapping that hand in bandages. “Okay, move your other hand over aswell.” Shrimpo moves his hand over and the repeat the whole thing, talking while Astro works. (I’M NOT WRITING ANY MORE LIGHT CONVERSATIONS.) Eventually asteroid finishes wrapping shrimpo’s other hand and looks at him, doing a small double take. “Shrimpo!” “What?” Shrimpo responded, a small smile on his face “You’re smiling! You never do that!” Shrimpo instantly starts doing his angry frowning face again “WHAT! NO I WASN’T” “denial is a river in Egypt buddy” Astro closes the lid on the Tupperware and puts everything back in his bag “why are you collecting my shell fragments?” “I’m gonna wash them and help feed Finn’s fish with them.” “That is so weird” “shrimp are good for fish why waste it?” “Because that’s my skin man, that’s so weird!” they chatter for a few minutes before Astro gets serious really quickly “Shrimpo” “what” “the reason why your hands are shaking.. are any of your fingers numb?” “Yeah.. why?” Astro looks grim for a few seconds “Astro you’re scaring me.”

“Shrimpo you have nerve damage.”

Chapter Text

The room is completely still for a few moments. The only sounds they hear being the faint whisper of the other toon’s breath. There isn’t a dramatic reveal, no loud shocking reaction. Just silence. Astro looking at shrimpo, shrimpo looking past astro.

Astro can only see a flicker of something in shrimpo’s face for a moment, it’s been a few seconds now and he hasn’t moved one bit.

“Hey, shrimpo.. are you..?-“

Astro reaches a hand to comfort the crustacean, it’s never a nice thing to hear that your injured. Especially one that might not ever be fixed. He maybe expected shrimpo to go back to his rude defensive nature, to hit and flinch and bite and kick. He didn’t expect shrimpo to stand up, shoulders sagged, arms limp, tail dragging.

“I’m.. I’m fine, I’m shrimpo. I’m fine!”

Shrimpo shudders out, his voice wavering and his voice only gaining it’s feigned confidence after repeating himself.

“I’m..-“

Shrimpo starts off to say something but his shoulder hunch and his shaking hand clasps over his mouth.

“I have to go.”

Shrimpo’s voice is steeled with a resolve he usually won’t carry, even on the rare occasion he’s civil. He rushes to his restroom shortly after this though, walking at such a speed you might as well just say he was running.

“Shrimpo!”

Astro gets up, throwing his blanket over his shoulders and running into the bathroom after him.

POV shift because it’s a bit confusing if I don’t label it ^_^

He’s panting, his thoughts and mind are racing. He’s nauseous, he’s terrified! What does this even mean for him he can’t!- he can’t think! His thoughts are interrupted by choked out sobs and suppressed gags. He doesn’t know what to do! What he can do for that- an urgency cuts through the rest of his thoughts as he feels a wave of nausea, worse than before. He can taste the spit welling in his mouth and his spine instinctively curving.

👅 He hears Astro’s footsteps, he doesn’t like people seeing him like this he doesn’t- his body wretches, bright teal splatters his tile floors. He only has enough time to plant his hands near the sink before he gags again. It stings the inside of his throat and his antennal plates quiver in disgust at the specks landed on them. His tail instinctively curls in on itself, but above water it just scrapes against the floor.

He’s vaguely aware of astro stepping in, his hands on shrimpo's shoulders, trying to help. The noise in his ears that may have just been adrenaline cools into discomfort as the miku blue liquid stops dispelling from his mouth. He dry heaves a few time, his body deceived by how thin the liquid is, a small trace amount dripping into the sink mixed with his saliva. 👅

“Shrimpo oh my god are you okay?”

Astro frets, looking at the mess on the floor and sink. He was part of the fiasco yesterday, which was surprisingly the first time Cosmo, sprout, and him learned about shrimpo’s little biological fact. They had all been puzzled but a shaken up finn on the couch with some hot cocoa had told them about some kind of deep sea shrimp that does that. “They do it when stressed, or when their environment changes suddenly sometimes”.

Shrimpo grabs a few paper towels, which are conveniently in his bathroom for some reason. And wipes off his antennal plates, wincing a bit. He wipes off his mouth, paws, hands, and any other body part that came into contact with that vile blue goop.

“Astro, would you mind getting the floor?”

Shrimpo is back- or closer too is usual uncaring demeanor. Tossing over some paper towels to astro before gargling some water and spitting it out until he can’t see any blue.

“I fucking hate this bullshit..”

Shrimpo groans, taking the paper towel astro hands him and throwing it away. Astro speaks up after a bit of silence

“So.. let’s get out of the bathroom?”

“Yeah, let’s”

They both awkwardly shuffle out and sit back down. Neither of them speak, neither of them mind. Astro looks at shrimpo for a moment, shrimpo only stares at his hands in some unknown expression. Astro sighs and gives up a bit, letting his eyes wander the room a bit. He never really gave it that much thought, but it was horribly messy. Clothes and trash strung across the floor, the only things on the walls are holes. Cracks in the plaster and paint, concerningly enough, some of them are ringed with inky black dried ichor.

The punching bags, the bed, the floor. A drip there, speck there, smear there. It’s concerning. He’s about to speak up about it when

“Astro.”

“Yes?”

“Why aren’t you mad at me?”

Shrimpo’s voice falters and cracks, his words failing under the strain of unshed tears. He doesn’t stop looking at his hands, tightened into fists so hard you can see ichor leaking into the bandages from being pressed so tightly. His smaller hands are compressed, almost ready to hit something. His back is shuddering with every breath, his hand firmly bracing one side of his face.

Astro is caught completely off guard by this, snapping back to reality. And the reality is, that shrimpo is here, in front of him, asking him if he’s mad with him.

“Why on earth would I be mad at you?”

Astro tries to sound as sincere as possible, he is after all. This only wakes it worse though.

Shrimpo stays there, desperately trying to hide his face, he thinks he must look pathetic. He can’t stop the tears from rushing out of his eyes, he can feel his body shake with what should be sobs, his lip curl up. He hates crying in front of people, he always was an ugly crier.

Astro rushes over when he sees shrimpo start crying, wanting to reach out and hug him.. but hesitating. Instead placing a sparkle on his shoulder and trying to comfort him

“Wait nononono! Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry, look- I’m not mad at you okay? I’m not mad at you for being a bully, trust me. You’re okay alright you’ll be o-“

Shrimpo resolves his crying as much as he can, trying to steady his voice bit not doing very well.

“That’s not what I’m talking about”

Astro’s concern is laced with confusion instead of panic.

“Oh. Then what are you talking about then?”

“What do you mean?! My hands- aren’t you mad at me over this?!”

Astro’s struck with dread, like an arrow struck through his guts. He puts together the pieces. He had assumed shrimpo had done this to himself, overpracticed and was too stupid or maybe just not mature enough to seek help. But he remembers those words, “aren’t you mad at me?” Far too well. He throws away what worries he has and opens his blanket, wrapping shrimpo in a hug-blanket thing.

“No! No no no no no of course not nobody should ever be mad at you for that- that isn’t! You! You shouldn’t feel like you have to do that! Yo h my god- no. No I’m not mad at you of course I’m not!!”

Astro frets to try and comfort the smaller toon, despite the fact they barely know eachother. He can’t just- it’s all too similar. Maybe he just wishes he could go back and comfort himself, say that nobody would fault him, everything turns out alright. But he can help someone else right now, he doesn’t really care or mind who it is.

Shrimpo is in a bit of shock for a moment, both the sudden gesture and warmth confusing him. He eventually lets himself just appreciate it, hearing someone actually care. He hugs astro back and buries his horrible ugly crying face in his blanket. He knows this probably won’t last. He can savor it while it does though. His voice comes out quiet, weakly speaking.

“But.. I made you do all this.. I did this on purpose and made you come fix me- you shouldn’t be near me I’m bad!! You should go away and forget anything ever happened- I’ll only make you worse!”

“You didn’t make me do anything- I wanted to help you, I still do!”

Astro uses his actual hands, under the blanket to lift Shrimpo’s head towards him, using his sparkles to wipe stuck bits of fur away from his face

“Look, okay. I don’t care if we’ve only really taken the time to talk today, but you need help. This..”

Astro waves his hand in frustration, or maybe just not having the right words

“This is serious. And I don’t care how mean or immature you are, you need help. This- self harm isn’t okay! It doesn’t matter if you don’t think it is but you deserve some kind of help!”

Astro’s voice is trembling slightly and he’s holding back in own tears as he says that. Wiping away shrimpo’s tears (mainly from the NOT BANDAGED stapled up cut) from his face, using his sparkles to try and get any soaked fur dried up.

“Why are you doing all this? Caring, I mean.”

Shrimpo looks away but Astro lets him keep talking

“I’m not the right person to try and be friends with- I’m mean! I don’t deserve this! The only friends I’ve had end up hating me. You should just leave”

“I don’t care how bad you think you are, you’re just.. you don’t know any better!”

Shrimpo gives up on trying to show astro how stupid he’s being, instead just thinking about stuff in the warm embrace, he actually noticed that astro had more arms than usual. That was weird, he wouldn’t point it out but it felt nice, it was better for hugging. Something comes to his mind though, his antennae shoot up and he asks

“What about my..”

“Your art?”

Shrimpo wants to freak out about how he knows that, but he’s just glad he doesn’t have to hide it

“Yeah.. that”

“I’m sure you’ll manage”

They sit like that for a long while, talking. Shrimpo wants to hide, to claw and bite and punch, but Eventually shrimpo cheers up and astro realized what time it is. They both stay though, they enjoy eachother’s company for some odd reason even though they really shouldn’t.

“Oh shit, it’s like 9:00 am! Ehh I’ll just tell people I’m busy I don’t like doing work anyways.”

“Oh yeah I get that lol”

“Say, I have stuff to do.. want to maybe have a sleepover in my room?”

“Yeah sure, that’d be nice”

They only talk for a little while after that, astro leaving to his own duties and shrimpo just lying on the floor. He wants to say he feels betters he has to feel better! But he doesn’t. He feels the same. Just empty, now he’s been given a warmth, and he can’t take it away. He just knows, that one day that glow will light a fire. And he always ends up getting burned.

He wishes he hadn’t opened up so soon, now astro just viewed him as small. He hated when people thought he was small. He was his own toon, he can take care of himself! He doesn’t just ‘not know any better’ HE KNOWS IT’S BAD. IT’S BAD JUST LIKE HE IS AND IT FUCKING HURTS SO MUCH THAT EVRYONE THINKS HE’S JUST AN IDIOT. He is not. An idiot.

He wants to punch something, not just for the pain. He’s angry. He needs something to take it out on. He opens the journal. Maybe it will help. Astro may act stupid, but he knows that the crescent is smarter than a lot.

“I HATE THAT PEOPLE THINK I’M WEAK I’m not weak, I’m not stupid I’m not immature! I just… I’m not good with people, or emotions- and everything is just so blurry sometimes.. I wish I was better.. I’ll never be better.”

His hand was trembling as per usual, but this time from how firmly he was gripping the pencil. He needed something.. something to stop whatever invaded his mind.

He needed pain.

But astro had told him he wasn’t allowed to punch or hit anything until his hands where healed. So that was out of limits… he just- he can stop whenever he wants. He just needs something… something to distract him.

He finds himself searching his room, he used to raid the lost and found and he had kept a stash, where is it- where could he have put it! He searches through his drawers before he grabs it. A pocket knife. Clean and sharp. Nobody has to know about it. His ichor is a disease. The blade will fix him.

He’ll be better.

Chapter Text

He opened his bathroom door, black inky liquid smearing on the doorknob from his hand. His bandages where ruined, soaked with ichor. He sets the knife on the counter, it clatters around from the short fall it took. Drops of ichor smear onto the counter, shrimpo grimaces. He looks at his face in the mirror, tears still wetting his eyes. He looks so helpless.. he’s not though, he can handle himself. ‘Is that what you’re doing? Handling yourself?’ The voice in the back of his mind, the one that he says intrudes, the voice of reason. It echoes in his ear, teasing and mocking him. He didn’t ask to be this way, he can’t help it!

He takes a deep breath, he has to get cleaned up before someone has to get him for some reason. He looks down at his arms, orange shell staining black. His gaze moves to his bandages, where they end at his arm and the fingertips soaked with ichor. They’re ruined. The bandages Astro so carefully wrapped are ruined, he ruined them. It hurt, more than the cuts and gnarled flesh, like a dagger. He has to stop thinking about it, he needs to focus.

With shaky hands he unwraps the stained bandages, throwing them away lazily. He turns on the tap, waiting for the water to warm up. He runs the water over his arms, he makes sure not to get it too close to his hand. The water stings the cuts, black runs down the drain. After anough time he stops the tap and pats them dry with a towel, only mildly staining it. Some of The cuts look little more than darker spots, others are still bleeding. None of them are very deep, he isn’t stupid.

He takes the knife from the counter and runs it under the water, while he still has his bandages off might as well. He turns of the tap and switches the blade shut. He was going to just keep it in his pocket, nobody had to know. He got out some bandages and wrapped his arms, he wanted to pull them tighter, make his flesh sting. But he didn’t, he was gentle, he wrapped them gently, all the way up to his hand, ending it off the way Astro did.

He replaces the bandages on his face, they where similarly ruined, just with tears and not ichor. He stared at himself, forcing his face to tighten with anger. Nobody could know, nobody had to. He could hide it, he could-

His thought was interrupted by a sharp itch on his ankle, so intense it almost hurt. He of course went to itch it, and immediately felt a chunk of shell wrench upwards. Great, it was that time again. Luckily underneath the chunk wasn’t bleeding like last time, it was still annoyingly tender though. It was whatever, he could manage. He hobbled over to his closet and got some socks out, slipping them on because he didn’t feel like dealing with that right now.

He also switched his top layer for his regular jacket, it calmed his nerves a little for some reason. He makes sure he has everything in his pockets: at least 2 sharpies, weird notebook, knife, bandaids.. oh! And his phone (his headphones are always with his phone so he stopped mentally listing them). So he’s all good on that count. He puts on some shoes, and also actually remembers to put on eyeliner.

He lays on his bed again, similarly to earlier that day. Just this time the stinging of his arms Filled the places in his mind he always tried to avoid. The darkest parts, the dark still lingered though, just dulled. Someone will come and make him go eat eventually, he wanted so badly to just go back, he felt terrible for it. Everyone would be better off if he just- stop. Stop thinking like that, he needs to stop thinking like that. Every time he thinks like that it makes it worse. Just. Stop.

He had a sleepover, that’s good. He’ll be fine, everything’s fine. He can just sit here and listen to some tunes. He plugs in his headphones and puts them in, shuffling his playlist again.

He calms himself down, nobody will ever know. His phone rings, and he picks it up. It’s Cosmo.

“SHRIMPO GET YOUR ASS TO THE KITCHEN IT’S LUNCH”
“Yeah yeah, you don’t gotta scream through the phone I’ll be there”

The call ends on account of shrimpo hanging up, he ties his shoes since, let’s be honest, he’s clumsy enough already. He opens his door, locking it behind him, and starts the treacherous walk to the dining hall.

…

The elevator opens and he makes sure not to trip on his tail, it would be embarrassing after all. He just hurries to the counter and Cosmo lazily greets him, “Hey shrimpo, lunch today is fried chicken” he slides a plate over the counter and goes back to talking with sprout. It stings a little, but he deserves it.

He sits down, same table as before, and starts eating. His sharp teeth rip through it easily, it’s still a struggle to put food down right now though. He’d rather feel disgusting than make people actually worry about him though, so he keeps eating. He found himself zoning out, staring at the table.

He hears a chair slide, and the clink of glass against a cheap metal chair. He doesn’t have to look up to realize it’s fin. “Hey.. shrimpo.” Finn sounds worried, nervous. Uncomfortable even. “What the hell do you want?” “I just…” he sighs “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what happened yesterday. I know that was wrong of me it’s just- well.. your face I just-“ shrimpo holds his hand up as a gesture to stop but in reality just interrupts finn “It’s fine, I don’t give a shit. Leave” he tried to sound like himself as much as possible.

“No that’s not! Look, I just took it too far I know, please don’t be too mad at me?” Finn practically pleads with shrimpo, why? He’ll never know. Shrimpo sighs, resting his arms on the table “Look, I couldn’t give less of a shit. I’m always mad at you.” Seeing Finn’s expression only sadden he decides to continue “… Also you only had a weapon in the first place because I shoved you too hard.” Finn looks like he was about to say something but just gives up, looking defeated. “You’re usually so much more-“ “angry?” “.. yeah, angry about this stuff… why not just blame me?” “I’m rude, I’m not an asshole.”

Shrimpo picks up his plate and puts it away, making the long walk back to his room. He had a sleepover to get ready for after all.

He wanted to look nice, he needed to. He needed to show astro how sharp he is, that the cracks in his facade won’t reveal anything, and when he tries to gently crumble it away the shards will only cut him. Also, he always feels underdressed around astro for some reason..

He fished around his hoard, this time only to appeal to others, not just himself. He found a few bracelets and a red patched up hoodie. Those, along with his regular shorts and shoes where layed on his bed. He needed to try and get off any loose shed after all. He went in his restroom and turned on the shower, room filling with steam.

He unwinds his bandages and grimaces at the damage done. Regret, it delays and festers inside you doesn’t it?

He throws the dirty bandages away, taking off the clothes he’s wearing and stepping into the shower. The warmth is nice, like a warm hug without the consequences. He hasn’t showered for too long admittedly. He just doesn’t remember it, but the feeling of warm water on his shedding carapace reminded him. This is the closest he would get to okay.

The water stung his skin, but it purified him as he sat on the floor of that shower peeling his flesh. He took the pieces of shell he got off and set them aside outside of the shower. Inside however, it was perfectly private. He felt as if it was safe to think, to gaze at himself and feel something other than hate.

The layered scabs on his arms where beautiful after all, his tail intricate and his hands where healing for once. He could bask in this moment of comfort, just maybe. He could look at himself and feel happy, just for a small moment.

He peeks out of the shower curtain and pokes at his phone, it’s only 1:00, he has time to get the rest of this shell off. His hands are shaky, but he’s still delicate. After a while he finally gets all of his shed off, mind you with a bit of raw and irritated skin. He washes his skin well and dries off.

Unfortunately for him, the injuries on his arms and hands where deep enough to still be pretty prevalent even after his shed. Whatever.
He takes the set aside pieces of shed and lays them on a piece of cardboard to dry, finishing up with drying and changing into some fresh clothes.

He goes back into his bathroom to do some makeup, especially since he found a whole bunch in his little hoard. He feels better now, he feels clean. He makes the decision and dolls up his makeup, red eyeshadow, eyeliner, blush, mascara, pretend there are more makeup products here. He likes the way it looks, the way he looks. He isn’t used to it.

He checks the time, 4:00. He wants to get there right after dinner for the sake of courtesy. He never really was a courteous toon, he just wanted to show astro he was mature for some reason. He could pretend he knew how to be mature, even in a small way. He hates the persona he’s picked up more than he ‘hates’ all the small things he shouts to the world.

He checks on the pieces of shed again, they’re pretty much dry but he moves the cardboard onto his bed to give them some more time anyways. His injuries are much more shallow, but he’ll still bandage them. He just has to wait ‘till 6:00 and eat dinner, then go to Astro’s at 8:00, not that hard. How could he possibly fuck this up?

He looks at himself in the mirror again. Oh my god. HE DID THE SAME GAY ASS MAKEUP AS GLISTEN. HE LOOKED LIKE A CHICK WHY DID HE DO HIS MAKEUP LIKE THIS.

wait no, but it doesn’t look that bad… it’s just a bit… he hopes astro doesn’t judge him because he is NOT redoing that. He sits on his bed and picks away the tiny pieces of shed from his tail, he can never get that all and.. oh yeah! He grabs a plastic bag and puts the dry pieces in it, stuffing it in his sleepover pack.

He realizes he forgot to pack.

Uhh, it’s alright.. he doesn’t have much to pack anyway.

Pajama pants, long sleeved shirt, pillow, his usual jacket and outfit, extra socks, flashlight, simple stuff. This was going to be good. What. NOT GOOD. FUN.

He couldn’t get a hold of his thoughts for some reason, he felt like he was going insane he didn’t even like this kind of stuff! He hated sleepovers! His brain was just rotting or something. He looks at himself again, he swore he did NOT put this much blush on. Whatever, it looks good enough on him anyway.

He just fucks around for a while, eventually looking at the clock and seeing 5:49 on it. He grabs his bag, since Astro’s room was closer to the dining hall than his, and makes his way over.

The elevator dings and he steps out, the dining hall is roughly empty. Aside from tisha clearing off tables and what you could see of sprout and Cosmo in the kitchen. He was about five minutes early, but he didn’t mind sitting down at the far table he always sits at and trying to doodle in his little notebook. They look shaky and messy, but they don’t look as bad as he was expecting. He watches dandy get his food and leave, he knew candy was gluten free for whatever reason so it makes sense he got it early. Something about cross contamination.

He would usually go and demand his food early, but he was scared that the strain on his voice from crying would show if he yelled, so he decided to just quietly wait until the dinner bell rang…… and waited……… and waited………… and finally it rang, and he grabbed his notebook and shoved it in his pocket, going over to the counter he could honestly barely reach.

Cosmo was lingering around the counter, half expecting some toon to show up, but not this early. “Oh! Shrimpo, you’re here early!” He yells to sprout, further back in the kitchen “SPROUT GET A PLATE OVER HERE” “YEAH YEAH,” Shrimpo just stands and waits “so uhh, are y’all uhh… gay?” “…. No?-“ “I donor believe that for one second.” “Fair” Sprout passes over a grilled cheese and a shallow bowl of tomato soup “dinner” then he walks away. Shrimpo hatefully takes the plate and goes to eat in the corner. The bakers ‘discreetly’ watch him and talk

“What’s up with him lately?” Sprout whispers over to Cosmo, “well… I denkt really know, I mean I have an assumption but it’s really bias,” “ooh, spill. What’s your idea?” “Okay, get this. Astro went and dropped off his jacket yesterday, and also slipped that weird notebook in his pocket. I’m thinking.. we’ll I’m thinking they’re gay for eachother” “Chat wait, you’re onto something. I mean, I’m hanging out with astro later so should I ask?” “Omg yes”

Shrimpo finishes his food, putting up the plate/bowl and walking to the elevator. After it lands he checks the time, 7:30. He knocks three times on Astro’s door, he opens it

“Oh, hey shrimpo! You’re really early, did you skip dinner?” Astro is immediately concerned. “No, I just ate early. May I come in?” “Sure, The others-“ “OTHERS?” “Yeah, the others aren’t here yet.” Shrimpo stammers a bit before just sighing in defeat “whatever, I literally signed up for this.

He shuffles in and is just.. confused at the layout. There are two doors on one end of the room, on one of the walls there’s a tv, there’s a fancy bed.. and the entire ground is just bean bags and stuffies and blankets, like there’s basically no floor aside from a small square entering. “Leave your shoes at the door please!” “Okay, I guess???” He kicks off his shoes and tries to walk on the soft surface, immediately tripping. “So uhh, where?” “Oh here! We’re going to watch some shows when this thing starts so just sit in front of the tv!”

He sets down his stuff in front of him and sits on a bean bag. He takes out his pillow and holds it on his lap like a pillow, it wan’t the best, but it made him feel more comfortable. Suddenly the door swings open and sprout bursts in “Hey assfag, what’s up!” “Big talk for a literal fruit, nothing much, just setting up my room for this and prepping some movies and stuff” “ooh nice, what are we watching?” “Well I have a few picked out, what are you thinking?” Their chatter fades into the distance as he sits and thinks, but he perks up at his name

“Okay, astro. How do you feel about shrimpo?” “What do you mean by that?? We’re just friends.” “Oh NAW. Friends?? With him? Y’all barely even speak, how!” “Idk, he’s actually really sweet if you talk to him!” “So you have a crush on shrimpo?” “NO” he had crept up and sat down nearby, somehow they didn’t recognize him, and kept talking. “I don’t see how giving him a notebook- thing, whatever that is. How giving him that is planonic in any way” “well it is! Platonic with a capital P!” “Yeah, just like how you want shrimpo’s capital P-“ Shrimpo stood up in shock at that, he could feel his cheeks heating up “DID YOU TWO JUST FORGET I WAS HERE???” Astro start,Ed and sprout practically jumped out of his skin “OH GOD SHRIMPO THAT IS FREAKISH” “wait what did I do?” “YOU LIKE- MATERIALIZED I’M SCARED” “Oh? Ohhhh. Yeah I forget I could do that, but sprout, buddy. STOP SHIPPING ME AND ASTRO YOU FUCKING FARGGOT” “Hey man you can’t say that!” “Yeah I bet you can say the full word you and Cosmo are so fucking gay”

They bicker for a bit longer before all sitting down by the tv, picking out a movie while chatting and eating snacks, “yeah and I- hey wait, shrimpo, what are you eating right now?” Shrimpo was, of course, snacking on his shed carapace. “Oh uhh, nothing much..” “ooh, can I try some?” “Yk what sure” Shrimpo hands sprout one of the tiny ones with a mischievous look on his face, sprout eats it and Shrimpo practically cackles “BAHAHAHA YOU JUST ATE MY SKIN I’M DYING” sprout looks mildly offended but they go on with the night

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Eventually, they settle down and find a movie to watch. “Ooh omg I love this one!” Astro exclaims as he selects it, sprout agrees. “Oh my god- dude this is like, not a good sleepover movie” “but it’s just so good.” “Fair. Shrimpo, do you wanna watch this?” He points to the tv with the remote, selected to “I Saw the TV Glow” Shrimpo looks at the horror rating, “Okay sure, just because it’s horror though” “great now you might not get it at all, but the visuals are really good!” “Y’all are so gay” “yeah we know”

They play the movie, and for most of the first parts they just lazily snack, but eventually they just watch it.

The movie ends and Astro hits pause, wiping a tear from his eye “Man, it gets me every time” “same, best watch out there- shrimpo what about?- shrimpo?” They hadn’t noticed him sneak away to the bathroom and lock himself in. They hadn’t seen him crying, he intended to keep it that way. He tried to calm his own hysterics and eventually walked back out. You could tell he had been crying, he just hated the way he looked when he WAS crying.

“Oh there you are!- where you crying?” “Yeah, what of it?” “Nothing, I just didn’t know you where trans!” “Brotha I am NOT trans” sprout makes the biggest ‘oh naw’ face ever “did I just Interrupt a cannon event?” “Dude, leave it alone.” “Fair” surprisingly, they both leave it alone. They don’t mention his smeared mascara or makeup, they just keep watching stuff. It’s nice, this is nice. He feels normal.

They eventually change into night clothes and go to bed. Shrimpo is awake last, but does drift off eventually.

He can’t stop thinking about it.

Chapter Text

He usually either didn’t dream, or hated his dreams. There wasn’t much that he truly hated, but this was one of them. His dreams where vivid, confusing, unnerving. Tormenting? He couldn’t describe the way they made him feel so empty. Or full. He couldn’t avoid himself in his dreams. It was only him. Maybe he didn’t hate his dreams, he still hated himself.

He was sitting by a tree, talking to another toon. He could never recognize the faces in his dreams. The tree was in blossom, wildflowers surrounded them. Petals and leaves fell. Laughter filled the air. There wasn’t a mirror, but he somehow looked in one and saw himself. No, not himself. The one that he sees in his dreams, the one that looks at him with a playful frown instead of a scowl, the one with healed scars and freeing clothing. The one that was better.

But maybe, just maybe. He could find the reason why this time. He reaches his hands into the mirror, like icy cold water stinging his flesh, his reflection is radiantly warm. But when he finally reaches it, it ripples back to himself. The real him. Everything’s normal.

Shouldn’t he feel happier this way? It’s him. His scars are healed, his clothes look nice, but he’s still not happy. The scowl on his face remains. What’s wrong with him? He’s himself, he’s ALWAYS been himself- why does he feel so wrong about this!? Like he’s grasping at it but he just can’t grab it! His fingertips scrape along it and draw ichor instead of- of grasping on and giving him the answer to this!

He pulls his hand out of the mirror, and punches it. The glass shatters. It’s all too familiar. The toon next to him.. maybe it always was, maybe it shifted, but astro looked at him, horrified. Dissapointed. His reflection scattered on the shards, he could feel the ichor splashed on his face.

“Why?”

He jolted awake, trying to relearn how to breathe since it seems he’s forgotten. His breathing won’t slow, his heart hammers in his chest and he feels like he’s dying. He throws a blanket over himself, he needs to hide. He can’t let them see him like this! He can’t he just can’t, what would they think? No no no no no! He couldn’t- he just had to hide.

He wasn’t sobbing, but tears flowed from his eyes, his breath hitched and his body only betrayed him. He doesn’t want to cry, not here. He’s in a room with two mains for christs sake, no wonder nobody respects him he’s just a pathetic sad wreck any time he takes down his defenses at all! He needs to calm down, what would his handler say?

“Shrimpo?”

Astro’s voice calls quietly from one side of the room, pulling Shrimpo away from his thoughts. He just curls in on himself under the blanket and sniffles. ‘Pathetic attention seeking behavior, you’re better than this!’ The voice in the back of his head called out, he just tried to ignore it, despite the fact it was right.

He can see the faint glow of astro through the blanket before he hears his voice. “Shrimpo? Are you alright?” It’s soft, comforting, quiet. He knows better than to answer that question. He shifts so he’s sitting up, blanket wrapped around most of him and looking at astro. He didn’t like this situation, but he enjoyed being around the taller toon, even just a little.

When shrimpo doesn’t respond, astro sits next to him, continuing to just talk. “Nightmare?” Shrimpo steadies his voice and responds, “yeah.” “Well, do you remember any of it?” “Not much” he wouldn’t be lying, he could only grasp at shards and pieces of it. “Well, what do you remember?” “There was.. a field, and a mirror, and you where in it..” he tries to piece it together. “Oh, we’ll what was I doing?” “You where looking at me, with… well I don’t know wether horror or disgust would be the better word choice”

Astro’s face falls, “oh Shrimpo, I would never look at you like that! I’m always here for you buddy-“ “but you’re not. We barely know eachother. You saw me broken and now you want to fix me.” He snaps, sighing, “I’m not a ‘buddy’ I am not your friend, I am not your pet, and I am not a child. You know my name. You know my age.”

Astro pulls back his hands bat doesn’t go away. “I Never said you where- any of those things, I just want to help you. Please?” “No.” “I don’t want your help.” “Well I want to help you, I’m pleading with you, you don’t have to act tough around me!” “I’m not acting! Am I not allowed to be upset?” “At what?” “You don’t respect me astro! I know that you care- you just think I’m stupid or something!” Astro doesn’t know how to respond for a moment, Shrimpo continues. “I don’t know what you think we are, I don’t either. But I just want you to see me as an equal. And I know that you don’t.” “Of course I do-“ “ ‘you just don’t know any better’ ” “pardon?” “That’s what you said to me earlier today. We’ve been speaking for only one day.”

“WILL YOU TWO GAY ASS MOTHERFUCKERS MOVE YOUR ARGUMENTS TO A DIFFERENT PLACE. I AM TRYING TO HAVE A HEALTHY SLEEP SCHEDULE UNLIKE YOU FREAKS” sprout yells without getting up, Shrimpo and astro immediately ‘sober up’ and go back to sleeping positions in their respective areas of covered floor.

“We’ll talk in the morning, have nice dreams or somethi-“

“WHAT DID I SAY”

Astro goes to sleep quicker than Shrimpo, but luckily shrimpo doesn’t have another dream.

Shrimpo, for some reason, wakes up first, packing up his stuff and whatnot. Astro wakes up while shrimpo’s in the bathroom washing his face, he had forgotten the night before. The soap he was using stung his eyes and the healing cut, he didn’t care much.

“Shrimpo?” Astro calls from outside the bathroom, knocking on the door. “What?” Shrimpo, of course replies between rinses “whatcha doin in there?” He sounds slightly concerned, nothing much. “Nothing crazy, just washing my face?” “You really shouldn’t do that- you’re face is still healing..” “relax, I’m basically done anyways” Shrimpo dries off his face with a towel, it doesn’t really help the already irritated cut but… bygones be bygones or something.

He changes out of his rather uncomfortable night clothes, switching into the classic tanktop and shorts. He was going to put on his jacket, but he noticed some peeled up carapace and he wanted to scrub it off.

Meanwhile, astro was helping sprout pack up his stuff. “Jesus, shrimpo’s taking a while eh?” Sprout hints at astro. “Yeah..he is..” “well? Are you gonna get him out?” “Why not you?” “Because I’M not trying to romance him” “wha- shut up! Just because you decided to date your friend doesn’t mean I have to!” “Okay fair… but seriously I need to do my skincare!” Astro rolls his eyes and gets up “fine, but only because I want you out of my room!” “Works for me”

Astro walks over and knocks again “Shrimpo?” “Yeah?” “So uhh, what exactly are you doing?” “Uhh, I don’t think I can describe this to you out of context” He was, in the most atrocious player 456 dalgona game ahh pose over the sink while intensely scrubbing his arm to get a piece of shell off. Astro, has no other details though. “So uhh, I don’t know what to think of that, but may sprout and I come in?” Shrimpo pauses, considering untill, “okay May- Wait sprout too?” “Yeah” “FUCK NO” sprout heard that from the main room, “Hey!” “SHUSH GAYBOY” Shrimpo just shouts back.

“Well uhh, can.. I come in then?” “Yeah yeah sure, just.. I don’t know man, one sec” he turns off the sink and gets off the counter-thing. Taking a towel and starting to dry off his arms. “Okay yeah, you can come in now” Astro opens the door and awkwardly steps through, looking at Shrimpo confused. “Oh, uhh.. so I was scrubbing this piece of loose shed from my arm” “okay man, not even questioning.” Astro takes off his blanket and hangs it on the door, same with his hat.

He uses his higher set of arms to tie his hair back, although he doesn’t have much of hands his ‘paws’ to say, are sticky, so he manages. He uses his lower arms to grab his toothbrush and stuff, then when he finishes tying his hair back he switches ‘hands’ and let’s the lower ones hang at his sides. He starts brushing his teeth and mainly just stares at space until he notices Shrimpo very much staring at him with a face on the scale of horrified to flustered.

“What? Do I have something on my shirt?” Shrimpo shakes his head a bit, “dude…” Astro immediately thinks that Shrimpo hasn’t seen the way his arms look, his lack of proper hands, his tail.. he immediately feels embarrassed, “ohh- uh my arms? No I just-“ “DUDE YOU- what? No not that- DUDE YOU AREN’T WEARING A SHIRT” “ Oh. ” “Jesus dude!-“ Shrimpo throws his jacket at astro, and Astro quickly puts it on. He doesn’t really mind, he just wants to make Shrimpo more comfortable. “Do you just- NOT wear a shirt under that thing?!” “No.. I usually don’t”

Shrimpo’s face turns bright red, immediately thinking of earlier that day when Astro hugged him. “I HAVE TO GO.” he scrambled out of the bathroom while finding the floor suddenly VERY interesting. “Wait- Shrimpo you need your jacket back-!” Astro quickly takes it back off and gets his blanket again, handing the jacket to shrimpo.

Shrimpo is by his bag, and very quickly snatched his jacket back and put it on. “……thanks” “you’re welcome!” “…okay…..” they both kind of stand in silence for a bit before astro awkwardly apologizes “Sorry.. sorry if I made you uncomfortable I mean-“ “it’s fine- I’m not.. uncomfortable, just… startled?” “Oh.. why?” Shrimpo blushes more than before, somehow.. I dunno. “Well.. I meant I just didn’t really expect to see you shirtless?”

“BAHAHAHAHAJDJDNNXNXJEHEHWJDOFKFNCHNCNDUHSHDJDBSHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAA” you can very faintly hear sprout loudly break out into laughter he’s been holding in since Shrimpo said that only Astro could go in the bathroom. “JUST KISS ALREADY” he shouts while wheezing.

Astro turns bright blue, using his sparkle thingies to swing open the door “OUT. NOW.” “But my skincare..” “NOW” sprout practically jumps out of the door after the second shout, Astro slamming the door behind him. “ANYWAYS.” “Shrimpo.” his tone shifted. “Yeah?” “Are you.. feeling alright?” “I think you know the answer to that..” Shrimpo looks down for a moment before looking back up at astro. “I know it’s just…”

“…… what?”

“I’m worried about you”

Astro holds shrimpo’s i bandaged hand and arm in his, looking him in the eye. “This isn’t healthy” shrimpo avoids eye contact like a snake avoids the sun, the ground, the walls, the ceiling… anything. “I’m fine..” “you’re not though”

“I just…” shrimpo sighs and fidgets with his tail, “I don’t know.. I needed a distraction… and nothing else works” his concern shows on Astro’s face, but he’s committed to trying to comfort the smaller toon. “Surely there’s something? Something better than.. that” he asks himself more than shrimpo. The room is silent for far too long.

“Astro… I’m sorry”

“Why are you sorry?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I yelled at you last night, I-I use you as a crutch! I’m mean- I’m a mean toon.. why am I clinging like this? We aren’t even close and I’ve done nothing but cling to you for comfort..” the shrimp slowly breaks down into sobs as he speaks, astro wrapping his blanket around him and trying his best.. he wants to help.

“You aren’t clingy- I don’t mind, I really really don’t mind just- just please come to me if you’re feeling like that?” “Okay.. okay, I can- I can do that” “I know I’m not the best at comforting… would it help to just.. talk about something else?” “Very”

“Well, when I was younger- I mean way younger. Like, when the facility was still in construction and we where growing up?” Shrimpo sniffles and his breathing is ragged, but astro doesn’t mention it. It’s nice. “Well, I was a stupid looking kid- did you know I actually looked like a caterpillar?” “Really?” “Yeah, and I actually have tiny wings now!” “No way man..”

Astro rants about how he was when he was younger, and his handler and such. Shrimpo is happy to just listen, his stories aren’t very similar, but it’s nice to listen to them. “Ooh! Oh my god! I think I actually have some old pictures of the toons that dandy gave me! Maybe I can find one with you in it!” “Maybe.. just don’t get out the ones with me?” “Oh, why not?” Astro sounds slightly dissapointed. “Well it’s just… well nevermind, I’m just happy you have some” Astro’s dissapointment was enough to make him cave.

Astro searches through an old box and shrimpo fidgets nervously. Oh why did he say yes? He knows he’ll have to explain, he still doesn’t want to.. “Okay shrimpo! I found the folder, want to look with me?” “..sure!” They flip through some of the photos together, laughing and smiling. Until he stops and looks confused at one. “Hey astro, what did you find?- oh..”

It was an old photo of him and his handler.

PLEASE LOOK AT THIS FOR CONTEXT I’M TOO LAZY TO ACTUALLY INSERT AN IMAGE:

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LOOK AT IT BEFORE READING THE RESTT

“You look…” “different? Yeah.. a…. A lot happened.” “Was your handler..” Shrimpo stifles a laugh, “PFF- no, no not at all… at least, not my original one… the worst anyone ever did was yell though” “well psychological abuse is still-“ “just the normal stuff… we all went through it..” the room is grimly silent for slightly too long before the conversation started to flow again.

“Well.. what happened to your first handler? The one in the picture, I mean.” Shrimpo thinks for a while, trying to remember smaller details. “Well, I think I actually stole a file at one point, but she just.. got fired.” “Oh? For what?” “Well, she was… I don’t know the word really, she said ‘bisexual’ but I know that’s not what she meant?” “Oh oh oh! Forgive me for being a nerd, but the old term for intersex was bisexual, same for the old term for transgender being transsexual!” “Oh, well it’s cool that you know that”

“Damn, gardenview fucking sucked!”

“Yeah…… they did”

“Is that….” Astro covered his mouth for a second, afraid to offend. “Is that how you lost.. those?” He gestures to the mandibles and antennas in the picture. “Did they.. remove them?” Shrimpo looks horrified at the idea “Oh GOD no! Oh that’s horrible! Did they do that to anyone?” “Well, they docked goob’s tail?” “Jesus…”

“So uhh, how did you lose them?” “Well.. I’m- I’m scared to tell you” astro saddened “why?” “It’s just… the way you’ll think of me would change.” Astro takes a deep breath. “I promise, whatever it is, I won’t judge you”

“Okay well… back when they where.. doing the exposure tests?- after my first handler left I mean… I just- I couldn’t handle the children calling them ‘cute’. I know it was silly I regret it still… it just… I was told so much how my only purpose was to look mean and act mean. The thought of it just… I don’t know..”

Astro’s antennae droop, he looks away for a second. He turns back though. “I guess… I guess I wouldn’t expect kids to call mandibles cute?..”

“Oh, no.. those where embarrassingly recent” “how recent?” “Well, the night before I got in a fight with finn recent” “………… dang… why?” “I know this is just as silly, but.. they look like a mustache..” “Oh! I DO see that! Who wouldn’t want a mustache though!” Shrimpo looks confused, “…me? I just… Well if we’re being honest here I don’t like looking any more masculine than I have too”
“Like?…” “i mean, I’m a boy- of course I am! But if I don’t have to, I’m not going to do anything that looks more manly than it has to be! It’s not like I like dressing as a girl- It’s funny! That’s the only reason I wore mascara- because it was funny!”

“Woah, you good man?”

“Let’s just.. not talk about that”

They go on to talk about a few other things, Shrimpo eventually going back to his room and Astro going on a run with some other toons. But all he could think of was Shrimpo for some reason…

End of chapter! ^_^

Chapter Text

The lays on his bed. Every time something happens it ends with this. He doesn’t have anything else to do. “Useless fuck” toons would shout in arguments. He wouldn’t let it show how much that hurt him, it’d just bubble up later on his skin. Sometimes he really can’t feel anything other than a brewing discontent.

This time it feels different though

He wants to crawl out of his skin, why does he feel like this!? Like his skeleton is trying to crawl out of his skin every time he thinks of that stupid- AGHHHH THAT STUPID FAGGGG HE HATES HIM SO MUCH WHY IS HE HANGING OUT WITH HIMMMMM!!! He feels guilty, even if it’s just in his own head. He’s so used to hearing it, and even saying it… but it only takes so many punches until you finally get the memo.

“Shrimpo, don’t go and hang out with them! What the fuck are you thinking? You know- if you keep up this kind of behavior you’re going to be removed from the show! Is that what you want?” His handler’s voice only fills his mind when he finds himself trying to socialize past bullying.

Two knocks at the door and the sound of running. Great, probably Toodles pranking him. He gets up and opens the door, but instead of finding nothing, he finds a letter…. Odd. He picks it up, closing his door and leaning on his door to read it.

He turns it over, it was actually quite pretty. The envelope itself was a plain light blue, intricate wave designs lining the bottom. The seal was a pastel orange, like a setting sun. He wanted to save it, nobody quite knew, but he loved gifts.

He carefully opened the letter, but still ripped it slightly. His fucking shaking hands.. The letter, was a simple folded white piece of paper. It had the same ocean lining the bottom. The handwriting was nice, a bit easier to read than CERTAIN OTHERS WHO HAVE THE MOST ATROCIOUSLY CONFUSING CURSIVE HANDWRITING NOT. POINTING. FINGERS. OR. ANYTHING.

It was a charming mix of cursive and regular writing, the ‘i’s tittles being replaced with small hearts, it was quite… uh.. cute?

“Dear Shrimpo,

I would just like to say that I’m sorry for what I did, I don’t know wether you want to accept my apology or not, but by writing a letter I’m forcing you to. What I did was wrong, I know that you technically started the fight, I don’t really care. You didn’t deserve that. You deserve to get tasseled around a little sure, but not like that. I know that we aren’t… on very good terms, but I’m not going to be petty about this. You can’t change the way your carapace looks. So, although Looey told me it wouldn’t be worth it to write this, FUCK YOU. YOU DON’T GET TO ACT LIKE I’M THE VICTIM.

From,
Finn”

God damn it, AGGHHAHHHHHH. WHY ARE PEOPLE SENDING HIM LETTERS NOWWWWWW. AND HE ACTUALLY MAKES A GOOD POINT- FUCK!! HE HATES WHEN PEOPLE ARE RIGHT- ESPECIALLY FINN!! HE’S GONNA TAPE A PICTURE OF HIM TO HIS PUNCHING BAG AND PUNCH IT!!- oh wait, he can’t do that. Right…

He realizes he forgot to Yk, bandage his arms.. he was wearing a long sleeved shirt but it was still probably a good idea, especially since they where still healing. He goes in his room and throws on some bandages, as well as grabbing his notebook and pencil.

He needed to do something different, he’s spent too much time staring at his ceiling wondering when his life will start. It’s been happening, dragging him along. Maybe it’s time to stop dragging his heels in the dirt.

He only ate like- less than half of the bag last night and he was still shedding a little, so he brought the bag of dried shell with him, shoving it in his pocket.

He also takes the letter/ envelope, he wants to try and copy the wave pattern. He made his way out of his room, stepping in the elevator and pressing the lounge/ food court. He starts walking straight to the lounge, he also trips-but ignores any toons who might’ve seen, since some where still lingering from breakfast.

There are a few other toons in the room, it’s whatever. He sits at the furthest couch and angles his notebook so nobody can see what he’s doing. The toons in the room where scraps, flutter, poppy, goob, Toodles, and rodger.

He opened his sketchbook and starts well.. sketching obv. Mainly patters, sometimes words, he tries to fill up a whole page before continuing. He’s just glad nobody’s bothering him. They’re watching some stupid 24/7 channel on the tv, goob lamenting about how fin would enjoy it. He doesn’t really listen that much, he honestly doesn’t care.

“I mean, I know that what happened a couple of days ago was jarring, but I wish he would join us!” “Goob, you know that he has his own stuff to do, that doesn’t really mean he’s very stressed or anything” scraps responds, poppy also chiming in “wait, what happened?” “Oh, you didn’t know?” “Well… no, that’s why I asked” “oh, well finn and shrimpo got in a fight a little before lunch” “oh, did shrimpo hurt finn real bad?” “No, not really, just his knee got busted up a little” “oh, well then why would he be stressed?” “Well… he kinda uhh” scraps glances over at Toodles and lowers her voice, “he kinda hurt shrimpo really bad… there was ichor everywhere and goob was crying- it was a whole thing”

He quietly scoffed at the fact they where talking about him while he was IN THE ROOM but it was whatever, he might actually listen to see what scraps was preaching.

Poppy sounds kind of scared “wait.. really?” She lowers her voice “is finn.. scared that shrimpo will jump him or something?” Goob turns over and glares at poppy, scraps just sighs “No, he’s just feeling guilty… shrimpo is well… I mean I’m kind of worried too, he’s barely left his room, and only for meals” “oh.. well isn’t that kind of normal for him?” “Yeah I guess.. I’ve just been a bit more aware of it since that happened I guess-“

“Well clearly not” Shrimpo scoffs from his seat at the couch. Pretty much everyone in the room (except for goob and rodger) jumps out of their skin like they just saw a ghost. “WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET THERE” scraps shouts, “language” rodger quietly says, looking at Toodles. “Oh right, sorry- but seriously HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN HERE.” “A few episodes” rodger, goob, and shrimpo all say in unison, scraps, poppy, Toodles, and flutter all just look really confused. “How did you just.. appear? Like- I could’ve swore you weren’t there earlier” poppy notes. “Ohhhh, now that explains why y’all where talking about me earlier lol, I always forget I can do that Heh” “why are you so normal right now? You’re usually yelling” “I just don’t feel like it right now?! Also Toodles is in the room, and we’re watching tv” “well WE are, I don’t know what you’re doing however, making a hit list?” “What I’m doing doesn’t matter.” “You’re definitely doing something evil, but okay.”

“Oh woah, is that massive thing on your face from the fight with finn?” Shrimpo reaches up and feels the tender skin, half just reminding himself “oh. Yeah, it is. I forgot to bandage it-” “YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS MASSIVE?” Toodles suddenly stands up, cutting shrimpo off. “Toodles, honey what..?” Rodger timidly asks “THE LOW TAPER FADE MEME” everyone just goes silent for a moment, “rodger, why did you give Toodles that tablet for Christmas….” Goob sighs in something akin to grief.

“Wait.. why where you so hard to spot?” Scraps circles back. “Oh, well you can kinda see how I have these weird hangy things that mantis shrimp have, and apparently I share a lot of shit with them- so they can change the color of their shell to blend into an environment, I do it really do that but it’s kind of similar?” “Shrimpo, a: why are you acting like a nerd, you make fun of literally everyone for that, and b: what the flip is a mantis shrimp?” “Oh, it’s just a shrimp that exists…” Shrimpo looks dissapointed, after a bit of silence going back to doodling.

He was making small sketches of different sea animals, smooth lines where a big thing he needed to practice on and he enjoyed the topic, so it was a win win. Plus, the show they had on was just some Australian guy yapping about different underwater shit. “The bull shark, a dangerous and unpredictable pretador..” like okay buddy, that thing looks like it doesn’t know it’s alive, and it doesn’t.

Suddenly he picks up the sound of a large group approaching, probably a mission just got back, the sounds where in the direction of the kitchen, so it only made sense. They walked through the door, some of them having snacks, chattering about stuff that happened.

It was teagan, pebble, coal, finn, Looey, sprout, Cosmo, and astro…… great, just Great. He didn’t really feel like getting up and acting all buddy buddy in front of other people, so he didn’t. He just kept sketching stupid things in hope it would somehow help his motor control. Suddenly the felt a hand on his shoulder, “Hey Shrimpdick” sprout said in a mocking voice “Wha- DON’T CALL ME THAT YOU TWINK!!” “Whatever, anyways- whatcha drawing? Is that a demon, from hell?” “What? No- it’s just a telescope fish” “it looks like my sleep paralysis demon” sprout fake shudders. The sound of clunky footsteps and sloshing water is heard, followed by an annoying voice “DID SOMEONE SAY TELESCOPE FISH?” Finn rushed over and was practically beaming- before he saw it was shrimpo, assuming he misheard and just embarrassed himself.

“Oh, yeah actually, I don’t know what that is, but please don’t tell me that’s a real thing and shrimpy over here is just trying to freak me out..?” Sprout responds quickly, finn glances at shrimpo’s notebook and confirms sprout’s worst fear. “No yeah, that’s an actual fish, and it’s super accurate too! Shrimpo, where did you get that from? Does brightney have more books she isn’t showing me?!” “Dude, chill. No, she doesn’t have anything on telescope fish anyways” “Awh… did you draw that?” “Yeah.. I know it’s pretty bad- I’m just trying to-“ he stops himself from saying the reason, he could excuse his shaky hands.. “uhh, practice.”

He catches Cosmo and astro chatting about something for a second, he only noticed because Cosmo glanced at him beforehand. Conversation brings him back to reality though. “So, I didn’t know you could draw?” It was Sprout, finn had already left to go watch the show. “Oh, yeah.. I don’t really tell people” “dang… so uhh, can you draw something for me?” “Uhh, yeah sure” “draw astro pregnant.” “WHAT.” “well? Can you?” “Y’know what, sure. But I am NOT keeping that.”

Sprout sits on the same couch and continues to watch the show, shrimpo starts sketching and is almost done when astro comes over to sit. Stopping at shrimpo’s shoulder. “Hi shrimpo” “oh… Hii astro.. uhh, how was the run?” “Good.. how was your day?” “Good..” astro leans over to look at what shrimpo’s drawing, just pure curiosity. Sprout holds back a cackle “SHRIMPO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DRAWING??” “SPROUT ASKED ME TO DO IT I SWEAR” Sprout doubles over in laughter and squeaks out a “yeah, yeah no it was me” in between not being able to breath due to how hard he was laughing.

Eventually- and by eventually I mean after a few minutes, everyone was back to normal. Except Cosmo had only JUST went over to the couch to watch the show now, discreetly handing shrimpo a note before sitting very queerly next to sprout. He read the note.

“Late Night baking at Midnight!!”

It was easy for him to read, and straightforward. He liked it. He tucked it into his notebook and kept watching doodling, this time dabbling in actual sketches of other toons. Mainly astro, since he either didn’t have to draw him with arms, or if he was feeling it he could draw interesting poses without having the torture that is drawing hands.

He even found himself sketching.. well himself. He could never make one he was happy with, no matter what outfit, what details. It all felt too wrong. Except one. He drew himself as a girl, it was just for fun. But it was the only one that actually felt like him. He hates that. He turns the page and forgets it. Going back to drawing sea animals. trying to erase that feeling.

Eventually Sprout and Cosmo get up to make dinner, shrimpo gets up and asks. “Hey, could I try and help cook with y’all?” They would usually be hesitant, but they both accepted pretty fast. It was nice, hanging out with people, mostly he just wanted to get his hands better. He could ignore the voice in his head screaming “FAILURE FAILURE FAILURE.” for a while.

They where making stir fry… that’s twice. This week. “Sprout, do you just so happen to like stir fry? We already had that this week.” “Well yeah, and it’s easy to cook.” Shrimpo just sighs. He got the job of cutting vegetables, it was pretty easy, he liked it.

“DUDE, why is Glisten such a twink” “Sprout, we all know that you’re right but that’s still kind of uncalled for” “once a kid called me a twink” shrimpo chimes in “Wait really?” “No yeah, it was back when the center was open, they also called me a farggot with no r though so idk” “really? They called you a fag?” Cosmo elbows Sprout “what? I can say it?” “Yeah- but why do you think that SHRIMPO of all people would know that?” “That what? Y’all are gay as hell and probably bone in the storage closet?” “SHRIMPO” Cosmo burns up and sprout just chuckles. “I don’t really care, all y’all gays are equally gross” “so about you and astro-“ “THAT’S DIFFERENT.” Sprout chimes in “Oh my god- Cosmo I need to tell you- so during the sleepover right?” “Yeah.. the one last night?” “Astro invited SHRIMPO!” “Wait deadass?” “AND ACCIDENTALLY TOOK OFF HIS BLANKET IN FRONT OF HIM” “CHAT-“ “AND ALSO WASN’T WEARING A SHIRT.” “CHAT?…” “IT WAS SO FUNNY”

Shrimpo was so distracted being pissed that he accidentally sliced his finger open, just barely stopping it from bleeding on the vegetables, trying to hold it closed but just getting ichor all over his hands. Cosmo and Sprout don’t notice yet. Still talking for a good two minutes before Cosmo noticed the sound of dripping and turned around.

Shrimpo was lightly panicked and trying to stop his finger from bleeding more, not really for the actual wound, just wanting to finish his cooking. Cosmo immediately rushed over at the sight of ichor covered hands and a growing puddle on the floor. “OH MY! Shrimpo are you alright? Where are you hurt?-“ “Cosmo I’m fine relax!- it’s just a tiny cut on my finger I’ll be fine!” Sprout just sighs and hands shrimpo a cupcake. “Eat. I don’t feel like getting an actual bandaid.” Shrimpo eats it and by magic whatever the cut goes away.

He sighs in relief, “thanks. Now I can get back to-“ suddenly he gags and rushes over to the kitchen sink, vomiting bright teal. “Jesus- shrimpo are you alright?” “I’m fine- I’m fine. I just forgot that happens sometimes- well often, but I’m fine” “WHY would that happen?” “Well.. oh god why am I afraid of being rude- uhh It’s just that when y’all heal me like that it uhh.. makes me do that. I think it just messes with my senses”

“Wait.. EVERY time?” “Well, yeah.” Cosmo and sprout both look thoroughly disturbed but shrimpo just washes his hands and goes back to chopping. After far too much silence Cosmo quietly speaks up “So that’s why you steal bandages so often…?” “I guess, I also just like being an asshole, big shocker. I don’t have much use for them, I die on runs pretty often anyways.” “Right.. say uhh, why do you have bandages on your hands” “NO REASON- FASHION.” Cosmo flinches and looks to sprout. Shit, the morning after the sleepover when shrimpo left the bathroom sprout had seen him without any bandages on- he knew. Oh god what if he told Cosmo and then everyone would know and-

“Don’t Style shame Cosmo, you’ve worn that hoodie for a week straight” “well There’s a shirt between me and the hoodie So-“ “we both know that’s a lie” “WHAT’S WITH YOU PEOPLE AND NOT WEARING CLOTHES.”

After a while, they have everything done and Cosmo has the idea of letting shrimpo call/ text people that it’s dinner.

“BRIGHTNEY GET YOUR ASS OUT OF WHATEVER BOOK YOU’RE READING AND COME EAT SOME DINNER”
“CONNIE I DON’T KNOW IF YOU EAT BUT DINNER IS READY”
“GIGI YOU GAY ASS FUCK- COME GET SOME FUCKING FOOD AND STOP STEALING STUFF FROM MY ROOM”

The sounds of shouting are very fun for Cosmo and sprout, and briefly Dandy who came to get his supper early as always. (Celiac Dandy headcannoners unite) eventually all the calls are called and shrimpo helps serve food, mostly receiving confused looks.

After dinner is over, Sprout and Cosmo actually eat something, shrimpo just starts cleaning everything up. Cosmo looks at him with those stupid knowing eyes, Sprout doesn’t.

Eventually the kitchen is all cleaned up and shrimpo goes back to his room to wait for midnight.

Sprout and Cosmo get to talking. “Oh my god I feel so bad” “I thought he just didn’t like us!- I didn’t know he actually fucking hurled everytime we healed him!” “I have so many regrets now.” “Wait what else?” “Well.. I’ve snapped at him more than once over stealing health from you…. And now I’m realizing how many more missions he has to go on, since it’s counted by floors?” “Wait.. so that’s like- he usually only makes it a few floors each run and we have 15 floors a day!” “That’s what I’m saying! We usually only need to go on one a day- at max two!” “Damn.”

End of chap ^_^

Chapter Text

He sat at his desk, painted sea blue like the walls, like the floors, it was suffocating. Blue like the ocean, patterns and creatures swirling around him and tying his intestines in knots. The strokes of paint, smooth and elegant. His wrist aching from obsessively painting them. The scraping of furniture to desperately uncover his walls. He’s always wanted more than he could have.

Now, his pen glides over paper, deep ocean blue, so dark it’s almost black. The waves form on the paper, he scribbles fish and details and everything else on the margins. It has to look good. He fills them in with a dark blue marker, the ink smudges. He curses quietly to himself, slamming his fist down on the table, ignoring the pain in his wrist.

He crumples the paper and starts a new one, ink flowing on yellowed parchment. His trash can near overflowing. He’d use it for paper mache, it’s fine.

He fills the waves in with marker, they finally look flawless. He adds the decorated paper to a stack. He’s making a notebook. He’s always been crafty, he likes making things. He’ll be fine. It’s not eating him alive or anything.

After… maybe a few hours, he sighs and stands up, 200, that was more than enough. He’d been working on this for a while now. He opened his door and started walking to dandy’s workshop, it was on his floor luckily. He quietly knocked the door. He would usually be scared of waking anyone up, but he knew dandy would be awake.

The door swung open. “What do you need this time?” Dandy’s voice was rude and rough, unlike the usual happy one he put on. Finn was used to this, it happened a lot. “I need some leather for a notebook cover.” “Wow, finally a sentence without a pun. Anyways, I don’t trust you with my tools, just come back with the paper so I don’t have to do it.”

The door slammed. Finn walked back to his room, he could hear the sound of glass and water and plastic clinking, it was pretty annoying. Glisten was right about him, he was annoying. He couldn’t help it though, so he kept walking, so he used a glass lid to stop himself from spilling, so he pretended it didn’t hurt to live.

He grabbed the papers, careful not to rip them, and hurried back. The door opening before he could knock. Dandy silently waved him in and let him sit by a few supplies.

They talked while he worked, dandy was at another area of the workshop, salvaging materials from old items and tech around the lower floors. “So, do you need more masking tape?” “Yeah, I ran trout a few days ago” “yeah, could’ve guessed. At this rate I’m gonna need to order a new shipment here.” “Yeah, it’s like paper mache but easier” the room goes silent again, for far too long. It isn’t awkward. The silence is nice. They both like the quiet.

“So.. what fish should I put on the front?” “Hmm…” dandy glances over at the fishbowl, looking at the lure dangling from his rim. “Well.. have you done an angler fish yet?” “Yeah… a few notebooks ago” “uhh, bamboo shark” “ooh, I haven’t done that one yet!” Finn starts wildly sketching on the leather before carving smooth line after smooth line.

Dandy Pads his way next to finn, his height sitting being the same as finn on a stool. He takes his readers off from his head and puts them on properly, looking at the carving so far. “Dang, that’s impressive” “Cod, I hope so! I want it to look like something a sailor would have! Even though it’s just to write stupid things in anyways” “still looks good, are you done yet?” “Yeah, pretty much” “okay then, mind if I add some extra things to it?” “Not at all”

Dandy Takes the notebook and goes to a back room for a while. Finn is left alone. He hates being alone. Whenever he’s alone he just distracts himself, decorating pages, sending letters, painting his walls. He didn’t like his own mind. He could hold out though, it was only a few minutes! He recited puns in his head, the way he’d act around people.

After waaayyy too long dandy comes back out, holding the notebook, having added a pen holder, some bookmark ribbons, and a few handy things, including a compass and shark tooth.

“I found the keychains in the lost and found, thought they looked sailor-like!” “Awh, dandy you shouldn’t have!” “Oh please, I’m always flattered to help a fellow toon..” he scratches the back of his head, “besides, most of y’all don’t like talking to me anymore, I’m just glad to have some company sometimes!” “Oh.. well I won’t stop being your friend! Thank you for the materials, and the kelp! Good night!” Finn leaves the workshop and closes the door, walking to his room.

The notebook was nice, it looked nice. He could write in this. What would he write? He didn’t know. Bamboo shark.. that was a good idea. He would make a bamboo shark.

His walls where covered in paper mache sharks, they where fun to make. All he needed was some hot glue and paper, preferably cardboard. His knee still ached, and his wrist felt like it was on fire- non stop work. He didn’t want to think about it. He was happy. Everything was fine. He started working on the shark.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

He stared at his clock, the digital display shifting, groaning along every minute. The clock it 11:35. He started getting dressed, he had found an old apron too, it would do. He put on his regular jacket, wore some sandals he found, and even took off his bandages. His hands where healing fast, and he’d be fine, his sleeves did their job correctly.

These sandals where so comfortable on gyatt.. WHY DIDN’T HE THINK OF THIS BEFORE. He shoved the usual in his pockets, notebook, pencil, bag of weird shed scraps, y’know, the essentials.

He went in his bathroom and turned on the lights, starting to do his makeup. His makeup. Makeup.

He was wearing makeup.

Oh god. He remembered the time he tried to put on makeup because he saw one of the kids doing it, the way his handler looked at him. That disgust. “Oh, is that why you’re late to episode rehearsals? You’re in here, putting on makeup like some fag?” He dropped his eyeliner, it clattered on the counter. He looked in the mirror. Pathetic.

He shoved the makeup to the back of his drawer. He needed to stop. This was wrong. “It’s only gay when glisten does it” who was he kidding? The way he felt- looking at himself all dolled up- the way his insides fluttered when he saw astro shirtless… He was acting like.. like his old handler. Like glisten.

He’s acting like a fag. He is acting just like everybody told him not to. Why isn’t anyone telling him that he’s wrong? He’s sitting here- wearing makeup- blushing at another boy! He should be punished for this somehow! It isn’t normal- this isn’t natural!

He’s disgusted by himself. He’s not actually… like that- is he? The way he feels when he’s around astro- oh no. No no no no NO NO NO.

HE HATES ASTRO- HE HATES ASTRO HE HATES ASTRO HE HATES ASTRO HE HATES ASTRO HE HATES ASTRO HE HATES ASTRO HE FUCKING HATES ASTRO!! HE ISN’T GAY- HE ISN’T IN LOVE WITH THAT STUPID FAGGOT AND HE ISN’T EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT.

Oh god…. OH GOD.

His mind screamed louder and louder at him, yet he sat, silently weeping on his bathroom floor. It took a while for him to calm down, his breathing to even out, for him to dry off his face and pretend. He liked girls. He. Liked. Girls. He looked normal enough. He checked the time, 11:57. Okay, that’s fine.

He left his bathroom and started to the elevator. Clicking the food court/ lounge area and descending. The buzzing was deafening. At least he didn’t have to listen to his head.

The doors open, he stepped out. The lights where off. It was a lot different from the bright elevator. He took a few steps into the darkness then he felt nauseous. He knew what would happen. He just made sure not to get it on himself when he coughed up glowing teal sludge. He avoided it carefully, making his way to the kitchen.

He didn’t pay enough attention though, because he then slipped and fell in his own “vomit” luckily it only got on his apron. Gross. He got up and kept going to the kitchen, opening the doors to find Cosmo, VERY decked out in glow sticks.

“Haii shrimpo!!!” He waved, shrimpo kept walking closer. “Y’know, I was gonna give you some glow sticks, but you look all set already! What did you do? Crack open a few?” “Nope! Luckily all I have to do is fucking step into a dark room!” Shrimpo responded, dripping with sarcasm… and glowing vomit. “Uhhh, what exactly does that mean?” “Whatever you want it to! Can you get me roll of paper towels though? I seriously need to clean it up” “uhhhh, sure…” Cosmo hands him the roll, following him out the kitchen door and just looking concerned seeing the glowing puddle, and fall marks, not very far outside of the elevator.

“What… what am I looking at here?” “Miku flavored vomit apparently” shrimpo sighs and cleans up the mess, tossing the paper towel in the trash. “Oh?..” “OH. OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY??” “About as okay as one can be after falling in that… stuff” the room is silent, with a few horrified looks. “Can we please just get to baking?”

They’re in the kitchen now, Cosmo turned on the lights and they’re just looking over recipes. “What about.. a layered cake?” “Uhh, okay sure- we have a bunch of cake pans!”

They get the wet and dry ingredients together. Cosmo mixing the dry and shrimpo the wet. “So, did you ever bake? Before the handlers left I mean.” “Yeah, at night.” “Why at night?” “My handler didn’t like me baking.. said it was too girly, or too gay” the room is silent far too often between them. Cosmo zones out a bit, mostly just concerned. Shrimpo takes to mixing the wet and dry, his mixing is actually decent.
Cosmo just watched. Then shrimpo’s hand starts shaking more, and he lets go of the whisk, flopping his hand around as if that’ll get it to stop shaking.

“Woah- is your hand alright?” “Perfectly fine, thanks.” Shrimpo stops shaking his hand around, handing the bowl to Cosmo with shaking hands, getting out smaller bowls and dropping food dye in them.

“Your handler.. did he ever?…” “What? Hit me?” Cosmo looked scared for a second. “No, no he never did anything like that.. just yelled” “huh.. that’s still bad though.”
Cosmo pours the batter into the separate bowls and they both take some time mixing.

“My handler said some of the same stuff yours did…” “oh really?” “Yeah, told me I as too fat, too boyish..” “too boyish? What does that even mean? You’re a boy??” “Well, I wasn’t..” “oh?…… I don’t get it” “are you serious? YOU’RE OLDER THAN ME- Wha- HOW???” “I think i just didn’t care enough about y’all to notice.. whatever you’re talking about- no offense” “none taken.. and I’m talking about how I’m trans?” “Oh.. OH. that makes sense now”

Shrimpo gets back to mixing. “You’re Not.. gonna bully me about it?” “….why would I?” “Well- you’ve called me girly or said I was a girl before as an insult I just thought-“ “OH- No- no I was just calling you girly- I don’t think I can grasp my head around you being a girl actually” “oh, I thought you would be weirded out or something” “well, I am. I think it’s a little repulsive but… honestly I think it’s kinda just my handler talking”

Cosmo preps the pans and pours the batter.

“So uhh, about you and astro…” “Cosmo-“ “so, are you two y’know??” “Cosmo seriously I just-“ “Oh come on! I wanna know!! Because if you like astro sprout could totally set you up with him!! Y’all would be so cute together and we can go on double dates and!-“ “COSMO.” Shrimpo’s shout stops his rant. “I. Don’t. Like. Astro.”

Cosmo doesn’t pick up the atmosphere very well. “Oh but- I’m sure he likes you back, you don’t need to deny it or anything- I’m a safe space!” “I don’t like him!” “I know you do- look, there’s nothing to be ashamed of! Love is love and you two are so compatible!-“

“I’M NOT A FAG COSMO.”

Shit. He didn’t mean to say that out loud. He covers his mouth with his hands and his antennas sag, he doesn’t know what to do- he’s not going to win in a fight. He runs away. He hauls ass to the nearest closet and shuts himself in, hoping that cosmo doesn’t follow. Shit. Shit shit shit shit SHIT. People know- Cosmo knows! He’s going to go to hell isn’t he? He’s going to hell for this. He tries to hold back tears but his face is already wet with them. He chokes back sobs and buries his face in his knees. He’s so pathetic. He can’t even get himself to be silent.

Cosmo just stares into space as he puts the cakes into the oven, he at least didn’t want to ruin- WHY WHERE THEY THE LESBIAN FLAG HELP?? …….anyways. He sets the timer and goes to find Shrimpo. It isn’t very hard, the sound of ugly crying is coming from one of the closets pretty clear.

Shrimpo on the other hand, he’s vulnerable. He can feel his chest tightening and his claws digging into his legs. He’s so fucked. He is SO fucked. He can’t breathe for some reason, it feels like after he runs. Is the door locked? Oh please have locked the door!

Cosmo knocks thrice, “shrimpo? You alright buddy?” He can’t bring himself to respond, his hands are shaking more, he can feel his clothes against his skin. He can’t breathe, why can’t he breathe? This was weird, this was bad he needed to respond- he seriously needed to respond. He forced his lungs to work, his voice was quiet, far too quiet for his liking.

“Go away..”

Cosmo leans against the wall and sighs, trying to think of how to solve it this time. Why does he always have to do this kind of thing!? He just wanted to bake, man…. He slumps down and sits, hearing the other toon stifling sniffles and sobs on the other side of the door, that’s why he does this kind of thing.

He takes a deep breath and opens the door, it wasn’t locked thankfully. Shrimpo flinched, his whole body going into panic mode, he looked so… scared. It made Cosmo cringe.

He sat down next to shrimpo, the closet was small, but it was enough room.

“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have said that”

Shrimpo squeaks out again, he looked like he was bracing for a boxing match or something. “Shrimpo, I’m not mad at you..” “you aren’t?” “Of course not- I’m sure you weren’t thinking” shrimpo curls in on himself, “I wouldn’t even really mind if you completely meant it… it’s just a word really”

Shrimpo curls into a ball again, Cosmo scoops him into a hug. “Look- I was being weird and pushy about you and astro, I’m sorry.” The smaller toon doesn’t have the motivation to respond, just “hmm” and a tired nod. “I overreacted-“ “sure you did, but I should’ve known better than to push your boundaries”

They sat like that for a while, it was far from awkward, but after it was long enough shrimpo started talking. “Hey, Cosmo… “ “what?” “I…” the words didn’t want to leave his mouth, he could feel his very blood clawing at his veins at the idea. He didn’t like talking about this.. he hated this. He hated this more than anything else. It felt bad, he felt bad.

“Do you… have any old clothes?”

Cosmo cocked his head, confused.

“What do ya mean by that shrimp?”

“Y’know… from before you.. transitioned…”

“Uhhh, I think I have an old box..”

“Cool.”

Shrimpo found himself silent quite a lot. This was awkward. But it was also good? It confused him in general. He hated this. He wanted something- anything to use as an excuse to leave.

Shrimpo then immediately remembered that the cake exists, and he heard the oven timer setting earlier. “OH SHIT-“ she gets up and runs to the kitchen, Cosmo quickly following suit. “Okay, okay it’s fine- it’s been in for about the right time actually!- OH.” Shrimpo opened the oven and took out the cake tins with her bare hands, making Cosmo panic “OH MY GOD- DON’T DO THAT!! Jesus Christ-!” Shrimpo waves his tail accross the floor to shoo Cosmo away

“Relax.. my skin is tough” she puts the last tin out then closes the oven again. . “Jeez, I didn’t know you could do that lol” shrimpo nearly doubles over in laughter, Cosmo gives him?.. a confused look, just for… him. Just for him to respond again. “PFFT- OMG COSMO, WHY IS THE CAKE A LESBIAN FLAG HELP??” They both giggle for a while before starting to make the frosting- well Cosmo had already made some but they put it into piping bags at least.

“So uh… what’s it like doing all the cooking around here?” Shrimpo doesn’t know what to talk about, but the silence was freaking him out. “Oh, well me and sprout like doing it! It is what we where- pretty much at least, made to do!” Cosmo keeps working but shrimpo can’t help but pause. He didn’t do what he was made to.. his handler was right to yell at how stupid he was being, life was better then.

“Shrimpo! You alright? You’ve been zoning out for a while there bud!” “What? Yeah, yeah I’m fine..” he sighed, starting to, or at least trying to start frosting the cake, smearing frosting that was still in the bowl onto the cake. His hands shook, he hated that.

“Are you sure you’re alright? Your hands are uhh… shaking” Shrimpo glanced at his hands before looking back at Cosmo, his face turning bright red “Shut up! They’re barely even shaking!” “Denial isn’t a river in Egypt bud” Shrimpo just grumbles and subconsciously clenches his fists, before flinching in pain. The scabs that finally started forming on his hands had reopened because of his skin stretching.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and watched Cosmo work, too nervous that he would see his hands and freak out to continue helping. “Y’know, it isn’t bad to be nervous or anything, promise I don’t mind” he took a deep breath in, wincing. “That’s… that’s not really why that happens-“ “you don’t have to be brave around me man, we all get nervous, shaky hands are natural!” “Please let me speak Cosmo.” “Right sorry.”

“It’s well..” he looks down at his hands, shaking, he healed fast, but his flesh was still open and raw. “Oh my god, why is it so hard to say this out loud- okay. Uhhh…” he swallowed and sighed. “It’s just.. my hands.. got uhh… hurt really bad. And astro helped me take care of it and….” He looks at the floor and back up again “he said I have nerve damage? I don’t know… it sucks.”

“Damn, that does suck” Cosmo got back to piping before getting curious and asking another question “wait.. so how did you hurt your hands in the first place?” “….. it’s like, really stupid” “lay it on me, I mean once I accidentally broke sprout’s wrist so it can’t be worse than that” “ha! True.. I guess it isn’t that bad… it’s just.. well it’s just from punching things really.. it sounds stupid now” “oh.. uhh.. don’t you have boxing gloves…?” “What? No..I never had boxing gloves what?” “I’m gonna strangle sprout next time I see him I swear to the gods-“ “woah woah slow down- huh?”

Cosmo sighs, “me and sprout bought you boxing gloves for Christmas! He said he put it under the tree- I just thought you got it early! Y’know, like you always do?” “…. What?” “Yeah, you like- take your presents to your room early? And that’s why you never stay for gift opening!” “Oh.. uh.. yeahhh” shrimpo scratches the back of his head “why do you sound like you’re lying? Everyone get’s something for Christmas- especially these little paper crafts that pop up on Christmas eve!!- remind me to go thank scraps for that!”

He doesn’t mind scraps taking the credit. She deserved it more than him. But it still hurt. There weren’t insides left tucked away in his skin left to claw out, but it felt like someone was. He stopped himself from crying. He didn’t want to embarrass himself again. “Yeah.. I guess I just didn’t get what you where saying at first..!” Awkward conversations. He hates them.

He helped put the cakes in one of the special fridges, neither of them felt like layering them. Clean up was quiet. Neither of them really felt like saying anything. Their conversations where always just awkward and sad.

“Alright, I guess uhh.. see you at breakfast..?” “Yeah! See you then!! If you want to show up early you can help again, okay?” “..yeah, sounds good!” Cosmo stayed in the kitchen, shrimpo left. To his room. To his bed. To sleep.

Cosmo stood there, what was he to do? It was 4:00 am. He could prep stuff for breakfast. He couldn’t sleep. He felt sick. Shrimpo looked uncomfortable every single time he tried to talk to him. Every single hurting glance felt like daggers stabbing through his skin. He doesn’t really get sad in front of people though. At least not the people he needs to comfort. Or his friends. His reflection could watch him cry.

Just himself.

End of chap.

Chapter Text

Dear diary,

Hello. This is the first you’re hearing from me, I just finished making you. ^_^ It took me a while, but I think you’re the best one I’ve made.

The past few days have been less than great, I got into a fight and accidentally hurt shrimpo.. I feel so bad. He should hate me, but he doesn’t for some reason.. I had to write him a letter to apologize to him because he didn’t accept it in person!!

Anyways, I’m making another cardboard shark right now! I’m waiting for it to dry right now!

So uhh.. if anyone is reading this right now, I know I already said on the title page, but please don’t. Close it, put it back where you found it. It’s private.

Bye!
————————————————————————————————

His alarm blared. He woke up a few minutes before it. He had a weird nightmare again. Well, something felt familiar. He never really remembered his dreams anyways.

He turns off his alarm, it was earlier anyways, around 5:00 am, grabbing his phone, calling it.

“Hey, Cosmo.”

“Howdy! What’cha need?”

“I’m not gonna be helping with breakfast, I’m feeling lazy”

“.. we’ll alright, just y’know, eat something! You’re still healing!”

“Yeah yeah.. I know”

Click :)

He felt more than lazy, he felt terrible. Like someone pulled his skin loose and poured pebbles in it. Or.. maybe his skin just felt weird. He wished he didn’t look like this. Nobody gets it. It’s just…. Wait.

Wait wait wait wait wait- his notebook.

He grabs his notebook off the floor and flips through the pages. This one. This is the page.

That damn drawing. He wanted to pull his fur off, to scream, to claw and bite and punch. The animal that doesn’t winds up someone else’s lunch. That drawing. The one of him.. the one where he drew himself as a girl. It just.. felt right. Felt better. He felt jealous, jealous of what? A piece of paper?

Well yeah, he was here feeling miserable and she looked so put together, so complete. What was he missing? It’s not like he could just dress up like a girl and- and suddenly he wouldn’t feel like his body was all stupid and wrong and!-

Oh.

“I didn’t know that you where trans!”

OH.

OH MY GOD.
———————————————————————————————————

He was awake, as always. He had to make sure everyone.. or everyone that would let him… had good dreams, and he had to be awake to do that. He usually used the time to think, or crochet, or just-

RING RING RING MOTHERFUCKER

He jolted up, picking up his phone just to stop the loud noise

“Who is this? It’s 5:00 am go to sleep”

“ASTRO ASTRO OH MY GOD- I NEED YOUR HELP”

“… can it wait until the morning?”

“RUNNING TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW.”

Click :)

What. The. Fuck. He had so many questions, like, why was shrimpo calling at this hour? Why? Why was he so urgent? Why did he need HIM specifically??

DOOR SLAMMING OPEN SFX BOOM BOOM BOOM

shrimpo closed the door behind him and practically collapsed from exhaustion, breathing heavy and wheezing.

“Jesus- shrimpo what the FUCK do you need me for? It’s late.”

“DO YOU HAVE ANY GIRL CLOTHES IN YOUR CLOSET?”

“Wait- what?”

Shrimpo glared at him

“Uhhh… I have a box maybe?”

“OKAY I NEED YOUR HELP”

“…. Yeah I could kinda tell?”

Shrimpo tumbles over to the closet and rummages through until he finds the box, lugging it out and dumping the contents. He shuffled through them, laying them out.

“Shrimpo.. what the hell do you need my old clothes for?”

“Astro oh my god I’m freaking out”

“Shrimpo you aren’t making any sense!”

Shrimpo takes a deep breath and sighs, his breath shaky and his nerves growing into a tighter and tighter knot.

“…….. I..” It felt so normal a few seconds ago but now he just can’t make his lungs function anymore

“Astro I think I’m trans and I don’t know what to do and I’m freaking out and-“

Shrimpo starts hyperventilating and tearing up. Astro comes over and holds his shoulders, keeping his blanket held onto him with his other set of arms.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s okay.” He picks up one of the dresses on the blanket-covered floor with his sparkly things “we can figure it out together okay?”

Shrimpo tries to slow his breathing, “yeah.. yeah, okay. That’s okay..”

“… wanna try out some outfits?”

Shrimpo nods and they start collecting a little look. A blue dress, a short petticoat that goes with it, striped brown and white knee high socks, Mary Janes, and some flower hair clips.

“Do you uhh.. know how to put on a dress or do you want me to help with that?”

He knew how to put on a dress, he’d helped.. someone with it before, it really wasn’t that hard. But.. y’know..

“Yeah, I have no idea, can you help me put this shit on?”

He was SO GAY for this. But right now he felt like he was flying and wouldn’t even fall down- everything felt so new and magical and exciting. It was so worrying and it was so nerve wracking but the building feeling of light drowned it out.

They made their way to the bathroom, shrimpo and astro carrying the clothes so they didn’t have to make extra trips.

“Alright, so uhh.. wow this is awkward. Unclothe thyself”

“Pfft- okay!”

Shrimpo laughs his ass off for a second before actually starting to release the beast per say. (Aka just undressing)

He pulls off his shirt first, his arm dealies getting stuck. Astro just stood there, staring. He tried not to but.. it was kinda funny.

Anyways, cut to a scene where shrimpo is just wearing his boxers and sitting on the rim of Astro’s bathtub, and they’re in the bathroom, alone. Like bros do.

Astro uhh, ‘accidentally’ catches a glance at “Dude, your boxers are so peak” Shrimpo side eyes him, “No response man, no response.”

“Okay uhh, put your arms out, it’ll make this easier”

Astro helped shrimpo squeeze into it, zipping up the back. “.. mind if I cut holes in this for my uhh.. idk mini arms?” Astro chuckles “uhh, yeah sure, not like I was using them or anything” he rummages through a drawer before pulling out some hair cutting scissors “this is all I have in here but it should work”

Shrimpo cuts little slits in the fabric and pulls his smaller arms through. “Yippee” “did you just say ‘yippee’?” “WHAT- NO I DIDN’T” “no no, I think it’s cute!” Shrimpo puts on the socks and shoes on his own, he already felt gay enough doing this..

While he wasn’t paying attention, astro dragged in a stool. “Shrimpo, just sit. I’ll do the rest.” “… the rest?” “Makeup! And I’ll make your uhh.. fluff?” “Fluff.” “I’ll make that look like hair!” Shrimpo just shrugs and sits, zoning out at his reflection.

Astro was REALLY good at makeup for someone without proper hands, He had like, a whole cabinet just full of random shit.

Concealer, eyeshadow, blush, eyeliner.. mascara… Shrimpo didn’t know a lot about makeup don’t ask him! Astro tries to fill the silence “So uhh.. want me to start calling you ‘she’ orr..?” “I don’t really know… it feels weird..” “good weird, or bad weird?” Astro pauses his uhh, ‘hands’ y’all don’t have a ref yet so imagine spider feet close up “Kinda both? I don’t know.. I guess it should be that ‘Shrimpo is dying and a new person comes along’ but.. I’m still me..? I don’t know..” astro sweetly sighs and keeps working, smiling at Shrimpo through the mirror “that’s okay, this is all new. You don’t need to have everything figured out, or even anything!”

“Thank you astro… for doing all this I mean, you didn’t have to.” “Of course I do! It’s honestly really fun, I haven’t used this stuff in years!” “Wait.. does that mean this makeup is expired?” “Yeah, but everything here is either expired or mass ordered so I don’t mind” “fair”

The silence filled the room, but it wasn’t cold and empty. The air had a warmth to it. It was nice. This was nice.

“Alright- do you like it?”

Shrimpo puts a hand up to his face, you could barely even tell that he wasn’t… He looked good. He looked like a girl.

“It’s.. it’s nice”

He stands up and does a little twirl. “So uhh, what now?” Astro just shrugs “I don’t know.. wanna give me a makeover? I kinda forgot what girls do” he could feel a kind of happiness Bubble up at that, ‘what girls do’ what he would do. He was a girl. It felt good. This was good. “Pff- alright sure! But this time we’re going to my room!” “Works for me!”

They made their way out of Astro’s room and started walking to the elevator. “Man, what time is it?” “Idk, I think it’s like.. hold on-“ astro checks his phone “it’s like almost 6:30” “better than sleeping” “I agree”

They walked to shrimpo’s room, (basically hallway, elevator ride, two more hallways, room) and talked a little.

“So uhh… how do I take this makeup off?” Shrimpo smiled, it was weird for him to smile. For her? How should he think of him.. her..self? Now?? “Uhh, I think just soap and water.. I think you should keep it on though” “but…” shrimpo fiddles with the edge of his dress “the other toons are going to judge me..” “well, sisnce when have you cared about that?” “Since like- ALWAYS!?” shrimpo moves one of his hands to tug on his antennal plate “I mean- I know it doesn’t seem like it but I care SO MUCH about what the other toons think of me!- it’s suffocating!” astro thinks for a moment.. how the fuck do you comfort someone????

“Well.. what I always think is.. well, everyone’s too caught up in their own shit to care about yours, aren’t they?” “I guess.. it’s just… different. I’m not.. I don’t want to go out like this- out of the blue I mean” shrimpo spins around a little, gesturing his arms out “well that’s fine.. I have an idea” shrimpo perks his head and listens “you can just.. I don’t know, start slow? We can look for something more.. feminine for you to wear in your room, and keep going from there?” “Where you always this smart?” “No honestly a lot of the time I’m just high”

“Fair.”

They keep walking in silence for a while, before shrimpo does a little tiny bit of thinking in his shrimp brain “Wait so those brownies in your mini fridge-“ “yea, Cosmo made them for me!” “Dude- where are you people even getting weed??? Did you actually get dandy to ship that in??” “Well yeah, I’ve got friend credit with him, plus he’s like- a massive stoner sometimes like big time”

“You people are weird.”

They continue in silence for a little before reaching shrimpo’s room and, well you can guess, they walked in. Shrimpo flicked on the light and literally shoved a pile of clothes out from his closet “there, clothes.” “Dang.. that’s uhh, a lot” “yeah, I.. take a lot from the lost and found” “..huh”

Astro starts rummaging around with his star-hand idk what to call them thingies, eventually just picking up some sweatpants, a baggy shirt, and a zip up hoodie “I.. have a weird four sleeved hoodie” shrimpo pulls a light blue hoodie with more sleeves stitched on out from under his bed

“THAT’S WHERE MY OLD HOODIE WENT???” “Yeah… I uh, I steal clothes from everybody man” “…. Not gonna ask”

Astro takes off his blanket and hangs it on a boxing bag, uhh, what”s with astro and not wearing clothes?? WHY has he been walking around in nothing but his boxers??? Has he been in that getup this whole time?? Where did he even get the boxers from??

Shrimpo found himself staring at astro while he changed, he only caught himself when astro was already done and awkwardly staring back.

“Uhhh..”

“IT’S NOT LIKE THAT I JUST- UHHH…. I actually don’t know”

The room is quiet again. They should be laughing. Why is nobody laughing? Shrimpo’s got this look on his face. It looks wrong. Did astro do something wrong?

“I’ll pick out a different outfit for you.”

Astro starts rummaging through the pile again, shrimpo goes in his bathroom to change. He hates looking at himself in the mirror. Like, before he gets in the shower but he still needs it to warm up. His skin doesn’t fit right on his body or something. It makes him uncomfortable. He throws on an old shirt he had laying around and steps back out.

Astro proudly holds up a short red dress he found “Okay- what are we thinking about this? Or like.. dress or no dress?” Shrimpo looks at it for a second before slightly nodding “ehhh.. actually I think it might work.. could you find any shorts?” “Ehh, didn’t have any luck, found these cute leggings though!” “No way. I don’t wear leggings” “uhh, well..” astro fished around before finding something “Wait no I found one!” “Oh my god I was scared..”

(I got tired of this scene, move to: shrimpo changes into the dress and astro helps him find accessories)

“Well I’m definitely going with my jacket” Shrimpo picks it up off his punching bag and puts it on “Oh yeah, definitely, the way it frames your shoulder is so cute!” “What.” “I MEANT COOL.” Astro frantically tries to explain himself but shrimpo keeps sifting through his room for accessories, unbeknownst to astro hiding how Red his face was.

A few minutes later he settled on some bracelets, his usual shoes, some regular socks, and a necklace. “Alright- do you think I look nice?” “Yeah, of course you look nice!” “No I mean like… is it too obvious?” “Nah, I don’t think so at all!- actually, wait”

Astro comes up WAY in shrimpo’s personal space, grabbing the sides of his shrimp-tail head while seemingly staring into his eyes.

Don’t react don’t react don’t react don’t react don’t react son’t react holy shittt aghhh omg omg omg what what what what what what

“Your cut looks kinda infected” astro sternly says, he was never looking at Shrimpo that way. He needed to stop being stupid and delusional. “Oh.. that makes sense” He tried to keep his voice steady. Astro just sighed, he sounded angry. “Did you Even Bandage It at all after that first day?!” Shrimpo just twiddles his thumbs. “Uhh” “Shrimpo.” “I forgot ok?” “We’re going and fixing this.”

Astro drags shrimpo to the bathroom and gets out what medical supplies he has, carefully dressing the wound “Shrimpo you need to replace this every day for at least a week.” “It’s been four days that’s basically a week” “No it isn’t!” Astro sets down whatever he was holding “Shrimpo I’m serious! This could get infected and- and we don’t have the things to take care of that! What am I going to do if you die Shrimpo? What am I going to do if I lose you and you never come back?” Astro starts tearing up, voice cracking.

Shrimpo just stares. Did he.. actually care about him dying? Him?? He isn’t going to die, he’s fine. Astro sighs and starts putting stuff up. “I just.. is it me? Am I just enabling you..?” He sighs, a sigh heavy with words left unsaid. “I care, Shrimpo. You don’t believe me but I care.”

And that makes him tear up. It takes a lot for him to cry, nobody ever sees him cry, he can’t even cry when he wants to, or needs to. But any time, any time anything happens he cries. That’s what it feels like, suffocating waves of emotion. “Its not…”

He has to stop himself to keep from letting those tears fall “it’s just me… I’m the problem” Astro drags him into a hug, Holding tight enough to make shrimpo’s ribs hurt. “You aren’t a problem! Please- shrimpo you aren’t….. you’re just a person.. we all are.. people.” “Astro…” Shrimpo shifts and makes astro let him go. “Why me? Why are you doing all this..?” “Stop asking that! Shrimpo you.. you matter a lot to me okay?? I don’t want you to be hurt..”

Shrimpo just turns back to the mirror and sharpies a few random shapes on it. Astro goes back out of the bathroom and waits on Shrimpo’s bed. When Shrimpo steps back out astro is the first one to speak. “Alright.. it’s probably past breakfast, I know how to make a few things though! Let’s get out of here..” “oh..” shrimpo was honestly surprised, he was used to just skipping meals if he didn’t feel like it. “Alright I guess..”

The walk was quiet.. most of them where. “These Shoes Are uncomfortable” shrimpo Starts Talking, he doesn’t often enjoy being left with the quiet of his active mind. “Oh, Yeah I guessed, don’t you have paws?” “WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT” “chill out man, I just.. accidentally slipped into your dreams once, not much. Your dreams freak me out” “it’s mutual, what dream was it anyways?” “It was weird.. kinda like a funeral? I couldn’t tell much though” “You where in THAT one??? Makes sense..” “yeah, sorry.. I know you don’t like me going in your dreams” “It’s chill.”

Then they went and made/ate breakfast and I will write that for next chapter bc I know y’all are thirsty for new content :,) (also I’m getting TIRED💜)

End of chap.

Chapter Text

Okay so uhh, hello! Yeah idk how to write but anyways. I think I’m gonna put this Fic on temporary hiatus for a bit here. I know my upload schedule isn’t the most consistent already but I need more time to work on other random projects right now. I need to get my grades up and junk. My mental state (oh brother this guy STINKS!!) also isn’t in the best spot right now, Idk if I’m just burnt out or stressed or what the hell’s going on but maybe pausing this will help? I started up making kandi again and I HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS THING FOR TWO HOURS AND IT’S LIKE HALFWAY DONE AGHHHHHHH. I’ll make sure to keep y’all posted, but I don’t think it’ll last more than a month at most. BUT SERIOUSLY HOW DO I TELL IF I’M BURNT OUT OR JUST SLEEP DEPRIVED OR SOMETHING???

MY ONESHOT BOOK WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE DURING THIS TIME IF I GET AROUND TO IT

Anyways thanks for reading my yap ^_^ (and sorry for clickbaiting u)

UPDATEEEE:

yes, I am still on hiatus 😔

But while y’all wait let me explain how the twisteds work here!!! Basically, the twisteds are kind of clones of the actual toons, but also share a lot of the toons lived experiences. After a toon dies on a run, some of their ichor reforms into a twisted and the rest respawns in the lobby, so the fresh twisted shares all of the memories of that toon up untill the moment they died (hope that makes sense)

Also: the twisteds take the appearance of how the toon died the FIRST time they died on a mission/run/whatever. Ex: Finn doesn’t actually lose his legs every time he dies.

Okay so.. twisted glisten…. He’s just, special like that. (He never really fully twisted but the real glisten’s ichor already reformed so every time glisten dies his twisted is still kind of also glisten? It’s sad if you think about it)

Also don’t even ask how rodger could’ve POSSIBLY died ending up in an ichor capsule, maybe it’s why he has arthritis.

RANDOM HEADCANNONS ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️
(To feed y’all)

Flutter can communicate through Morse! (That’s what the !!!! Dialogues are!)
Sprout has a flowering season!
Yatta’s body is constantly slowly falling apart and she needs to paper mache herself back together every now and then
Looey is horribly insecure.
DANDY HAS CELIAC DISEASE (no eat gluten or stomach lining die)
Shrimpo has some undiagnosed mental disorder (yes I am projecting, yes I am absolutely SURE I’ve got something up w/ me)
Shelly lays eggs sometimes, kinda like a more convenient period
Shrimpo genuinely enjoys being a jackass (will be more prevalent in later chapters)
Goob is genuinely bad at respecting boundaries (not in a malicious way)
Yatta watches people sleep sometimes.. and by sometimes I mean often (/reff)
LOOEY IS FUCKING STRUGGLING SOMEBODY COME GET UR CLOWN (it’s gonna be me.. it’s gonna be me writing a oneshot)
Dandy is AGHHHHHGHHHHHHHH STOP SAYING MY BOY IS EVIL HE’S JUST TRYING HIS BEST.
I can’t fart out any more of these.

MORE WORLDBUILDING ⚠️⚠️⚠️

There are 4 floors for the toons to live in, the dining hall/lounge, and that one library/projector room, these + the lobby are the highest floors and completely barred off from twisteds due to the elevators being sigma like that.

Each residential floor has a main assigned to it:

(dandy and pebble live in their own spots, though dandy’s workshop is on Astro’s floor.)

Astro: Finn, Shrimpo, Rodger, toodles, glisten, Teagan
Sprout: Cosmo, Looey, Yatta, scraps, goob, brightney
Vee: Connie, Gigi, Flutter, Poppy, Boxten, Tisha
Shelly: Razzle & dazzle, Bobbette, ginger, rudie, coal

OH MY GOD I JUST NOTICED AN INCONSISTENCY. IN CHAPTER 12 I SAY SOME SHIT LIKE “hallway, elevator, another hallway” TO GET TO SHRIMPO’S ROOM FROM ASTRO’S ROOM BUT THEY LIVE ON THE SAME FUCKING FLOOR WHAT 😭😭😭😭 THIS IS WHY I TOOK A BREAK PEOPLE.

Chapter Text

Dear diary,

Shrimpo wasn’t at breakfast today, I know that it’s normal for him I’m just worried I guess. Back… when we still hung out he wasn’t doin very well. I don’t know what he sees me as now, I miss him in a weird way. He’s probably mad at me.

Anyways yucky feelings out of the way- I’m actually hosting an event today! I mean I’ve done stuff before- but this is still cool!! Okay uhh, entry end? I don’t really get how people end off journal entries this is just awkward now.
—————————————————————
When they got to the kitchen Cosmo was wiping off the counters “oh! Howdy y’all!” “Heyy” “hi.” Astro waves and shrimpo just.. stands there awkwardly.

Cosmo ignores it and keeps speaking “Are you guys gonna be using the kitchen?” “I dunno-“ “Yeah! We both kinda forgot about breakfast” astro scratches the back of his head. “Okay, well what point in wiping these off then! Just- if you’re making anything with gluten make sure to clean and wipe everything off after okay?” “Yeah sure.” Shrimpo responds before astro, receiving a smack on the back of his head for cutting off the taller toon. “Alright well.. you two have fun”

Cosmo throws the dirty rag he was using in the dirty rag bin and walks out. “So uhhh.. what do you want for breakfast?” shrimpo just shrugs “I dunno, I’m not really hungry so I never thought that far” “oh… well I’ll just make some eggs then” “oh ok” they both just stand there “so uhh… can you go get the eggs?” “Bitch does my ass look like I cook enough to know where the damn eggs are?” “…yes?” “I’VE BEEN IN THIS KITCHEN ALMOST EVERY DAY THIS WEEK AND ONLY OPENED ANY FORM OF STORAGE ONCE SO NO I DO NOT.” “Well how would I possibly know that?” “Your besties with sprout how would you NOT know that?” “…what are we talking about again?” “Sprout banning me from the kitchen duh” “ohhh… so you’ve just been stealing snacks or what?” “Uhh yeah something like that.” “Shrimpo the fuck you mean ‘something like that’? There isn’t really an alternative I can think of here.” “Well Yk.. me and Sprout are on good terms now so it’s fine.” “Shrimpo.” “IT’S FINE.”

“Shrimpo what have you been eating.” “You’re acting like a mom” “you’re acting like a child!” “Yeah and you’re acting like a fucking fag.” “Hey you can’t!-“ “I’M A TRANNY NOW I CAN SAY THAT SHIT.” “…. Okay man” “Well I am right.” “You still haven’t told you what the hell you’ve been eating.” “Okay we’ll leave the detective shit to rodger then because I don’t feel like telling you!” Astro sighs and just starts cooking some eggs in silence.

The kitchen is quiet. Too quiet. Shit. He didn’t mean to be too rude- was he too mean? He always does this, why does he do this? It was going well- they where having a good time why did he have to ruin it- no WHY DID HE RUIN IT. why did he do that?..

He clenches his hands into fists, the sensation of sharp claws digging into his far more sensitive palms helps for some reason. He just stands there, horrible and useless. Astro places the last egg down on a plate and goes to stand next to Shrimpo with them.

Shrimpo crosses his arms to try and look less nervous and pathetic and astro smiles at him. Shrimpo is quick to have the first word. “Astro why do you need FIVE EGGS.” “Oh, well I was going to ask if you wanted one!” “WHY DO YOU STILL NEED FOUR EGGS??” “I’m hungry :)” Shrimpo jokingly(?) growls “bigback” “nevermind that’s do you want one?” “Nah I uhh..” he rummages around in his pockets and grabs a.. cinnamon bottle? “I have a snack I’m good” Astro already stopped paying attention and was inhaling eggs. Literally he wasn’t even using utensils or anything it was so sick you should’ve seen it.

Shrimpo opens the ‘scoop’ side of the cinnamon lid and pours it in his mouth like he’s knocking back a few cold ones. Of course less than a second later Astro looks over because Shrimpo started coughing and witnessed the cinnamon-based-catastrophe “SHRIMPO OH MY GOD-“ after Shrimpo manages to stop his bodies reasonable response he swallows and rasps “No I’m good-“ cue another coughing fit, followed by getting nauseous by the cloud of cinnamon. “Oh shit-“ Astro only has about enough time to protect his remaining eggs from the miku blood spill. Of course it was only worse because shrimpo had tried to cover his mouth with his hands and instead got the classic thumb-on-garden hose effect.

Astro first folds up his pant legs to stop them from getting dipped in nasty, then goes over to try and comfort Shrimpo “shrimpo.. are you alright?” He nods and waddles over to the sink, rinsing off his hands and face with water. “Well shit.” Astro looks back over, starting to grab some paper towels “what?” “My bandages are all wet now” “oh, well that’s fine, there’s a medicine kit in the kitchen” “oh.. cool I guess”

While Astro cleans off the floor Shrimpo unwraps his bandages on his hands/arms, then his face. Astro throws away the towels he used and grabs the kit, grabbing the gauze and roll bandages before putting it up again. “Let’s get out of the kitchen..” “yeah this place sucks”

Astro quickly eats the rest of his food before leaving to the nearby lounge area. Shrimpo starts walking in, sees the (rest of)book club hanging out, and immediately leaves. Astro stops too “wait why did you stop?” “There are other toons in there Astro!” “..and?” “I CAN’T-“ he takes a deep breath “I can’t let them see me like this Astro!” “… you’ll live gayboy.” “Wha- but!” “Shut up, I don’t want you to get an infection so get your ass out the door.” Shrimpo groans and walks behind Astro back to the door, shoving him in first. Astro stumbled in and was about to give Shrimpo a nasty glare before brightney turned to look at Astro “oh hi Astro!! Come to finally join our dnd sesh?” “I honestly forgot we where doing that today. Uhh, no I’m just here with Shrimpo” shrimpo grouchily walks in and sits down at the table, immediately face planting on it. Brightney scowls “ugh, why him?” “Long story..” brightney sits expectantly “well?..” “he was eating cinnamon for some reason and then he started coughing like crazy, and then got nauseous and threw up and the-“ “ASTRO THAT’S ENOUGH THEY GET IT!” Shrimpo leans his head up for a moment to yell before setting his head down on the table again “uh huh.. and what does any of that have to do with why you’re HELPING him?” “That’s a way longer story” “..we’ll?” “No.” “Oh come on!”

Astro sits down at the table across from Shrimpo (it’s a small table trust) “I mean it’s a long ass story brightney not just long” “well I still want to hear it” “okay uhh… shit how do I explain-“ “I needed Astro’s help with.. something earlier tonight and he wanted to eat some breakfast and I just ate whatever was in my pocket… which happened to be cinnamon.” Shrimpo lifts his head back up and ruffles around his fluff to get it un-stuck from a weird shape. “There.” Brightney and RnD just stare at Shrimpo for a second before dazzle says something (razzle naps during book club) “well what did you need help with?” “That’s more than I’m willing to share with you lot” “Shrimpo..” “Astro didn’t you want to change my shit back out? Maybe you can just do that.”

Astro sighs for the hundredth time “Kay.. arm” Astro makes a little hand gesture and Shrimpo hood out his arm to him. Astro starts wrapping the gauze around his hand “Shrimpo your palms are bleeding” “oh shit they are?” “..bro.” “I didn’t notice!” “How..” Shrimpo just shrugs and Astro ends off the gauze, wrapping the roll bandages and pausing at shrimpo’s wrist. “Do you wanna roll down your sleeve or should I just keep going?” “Just.. ending it off there is fine…” Brightney was staring at shrimpo like a circus exhibit. He could tell. He felt like shit about it. At least dazzle was just minding his own business.

He didn’t want to do this anymore. He didn’t want to be here anymore, he wanted out. He stared at the table, trying desperately to just ignore it- just ignore everything that’s happening. He’ll be fine just keep ignoring it and- “alright that’s about it!” He was back to reality and normal, Astro’s voice an island of peace and salvation. “Thanks.” He rolls down his sleeves again and starts to get up. “Shrimpo.” “What?” “Your face.” “Oh come on-“ “We already talked about this!” “Okay well maybe if you have to keep telling me about it it’s not THAT important!” “IT’S A SEVERE INJURY THAT HAS HAD FOUR DAYS TO HEAL. FOUR. DAYS. NOW SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU DAMNIT!!”

Shrimpo begrudgingly sits and tries to ignore brightney’s… look. Astro carefully wraps the gauze and bandages on the hateful toon’s face.

He still doesn’t want to be here, please hurry up so he can leave. “Andddd done!” “Thank god finally.” “So uhh.. what now” “do I look like I give a shit what we do? I’m just bored” “really helping shrimpo. Uhh, well we could join the craft thing happening today” “the garbage twins are really doing ANOTHER one?” “No, this time finn is hosting it” “well..-“ shrimpo’s deep thought is interrupted by brightney, “y’know, you could just join our dnd match.. if you want to that is!” “Dnd sucks” “okay well, astro, do you wanna play?” “Uhh, sure!” “Okay well I’m gonna go to that craft thing, later.”

Shrimpo rolls back down his sleeves and walks out the door, walking to the elevator while checking the event group chat on his phone. Most recent message? ‘Breakfast to dinner craft time at the library!!!!’ From finn. Okay, bingo that’s where it’ll be. He’s pretty sure him and finn are on good terms now… pretty sure.

He steps into the elevator and sets it to the library (the one the toons use at least), scrolling through some old text messages while he waits. Wow, he’s an asshole. Anyways, the elevator dings and he heads out. It doesn’t take long for him to find the little craft group that’s going, Finn, Scraps, Goob, Toodles, then also rodger and teagan chatting at a nearby table.

So uhh… how exactly does one say hi to a group of people who (mostly) saw you pass out from blood loss before…? Luckily finn does it first, like some cosmic deity saving him the trouble. “Oh hey shrimpo’s here!!! Haiii shrimpo!!!!!!” “Hey.” He sits down next to (but still like two feet away from) finn. “So uhh.. what exactly are y’all doing?” “We’re making cardboard sea animals!!” “.. of course you would.” “Well do you wanna join?” “What else would I be here for.” Finn shrugs and shoves a pile of cardboard and various utensils at shrimpo.

“Okay, so what animal do you wanna make?” “Idk, prolly some type of shark” “oh cool! Do ya need me to show you how?” Shrimpo stifled a small chuckle, “you already did, remember?” He takes out his phone and scrolls a bit on his photo app, showing finn an old photo of them making sharks together… Finn’s wall shark collection was still sizeable then. “..I guess not much as changed with you since then huh?” Shrimpo puts his phone back in his pocket and takes out a flat(er) piece of cardboard, tracing a.. well the silhouette is very shitty but it’s supposed to be a shark.

Things are a bit awkwardly quiet between them now… I guess most of the time these days. But it’s okay, the chatter of the other toons in the room was enough. He hated quiet. It took a few times of tracing the outline to get it smooth, fuck them shaky hands. He sketches a few thick strips of cardboard before grabbing the box cutter and extending it, pressing it down into the cardboard and ignoring how much it made his hands shake.

“Hey shrimpo, you alright?” “What? Of course I am, I’m a badass or whatever.” “I know it’s just- I mean I guess your hands are shaking?” “yeah I know” shrimpo turns to look at finn while he’s speaking but continues cutting the cardboard. “So Uhh… why are your hands all bandaged up?” “Nunya. How’s your knee doing?” “It’s doing alright, sprout says it’s healing fast but not anywhere near as fast as yours!!” “Yep, good ol’ shrimp dna” finn giggles, “did you actually know that most species of shrimp are he-“

*unsettling crunch ^_^*

Wait for it….

“OW FUCK!!” Rodger looks over from his chair “Shrimpo! There is a child in this roooommm anddd HOLY SHIT!” Teagan then looks over at rodger, “Rodger!- OH DEAR HEAVENS” goob is sitting with that [insert image link] face and scraps is running outside of the room carrying toodles. Meanwhile finn is freaking out trying to stop the bleeding, and shrimpo is trying not to vomit from the adrenaline, and the ichor everywhere, and the sight of his pointer finger on the cardboard, not attached to his hand anymore.

“ONE OF YOU FAGGOTS HAS TO GET THE FUCK UP AND CALL SPROUT I SWEAR TO GOD” Finn shouts at the top of his lungs and suddenly everyone is rushing out of the room to go look. “Finn get off me-“ “NO SHRIMPO WHAT THE FUCK- YOU’RE BLEEDING LIKE CRAZY AND!-“ “FINN GET THE FUCK OFF!” Shrimpo shoves finn away and grabs his own hand to try and stop the bleeding, running to the nearest trash can and vomiting before running back to Finn. While that was happening, Finn took off his tank top and tore off a strip, quickly tying it around shrimpo’s hand and.. finger stump like a makeshift bandage, taking another torn off piece to wrap up his estranged finger.

“Okay-okay shrimpo STAY CALM- SPROUTS COMING OVER SOON YOU’LL BE FINE.” “Finn hOLY SHIT MY FINGER ISN’T ATTACHED TO MY HAND ANYMORE HOW IN THE FLYING TAIWANESE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE STAYING CALM” “I DON’T KNOW- WHY WOULD I KNOW??? I AM COVERED IN YOUR ICHOR AND SO IS HALF THE CARPET.”

(I feel the need to say I wrote this scene while listening to sir mix a lot and femtanyl)

while they continue to shot and panic, sprout and Cosmo are in the elevator going down with a very distressed scraps. “ohmygodelevatorhurryhurryhurryhurry” the elevator lands and starts to open, sprout and Cosmo chatting “do you think it’s bad?” Sprout brushes cosmo off “oh come on, she just told us we needed to hurry, someone probably just cut themselves with a Bo cutter or someth- OH SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL.”

*incoherent screaming and shouting*

Finn sees sprout running over “OH THANK GOODNESS-“ he picks up shrimpo bridal style and rushes him back to the elevator with the bakers. Is it weird that shrimpo is totally flustered by this? WHY DO HOT MEN KEEP BEING SHIRTLESS IN HIS PERSONAL SPACE.

“Okay okay- shit! Finn- put shrimpo down and sprout you undo the wrap!” Cosmo directs while taking off his belt and fastening it around shrimpo’s arm as a makeshift tourniquet. Okay yeah, definitely it’s the blood loss making him all head over heals. Sprout, meanwhile, takes some much better roll bandage and ties it as tight as possible around shrimpo’s hand.

The elevator dings and finn bucks shrimpo back up again, this time he doesn’t think he’d be able to stand on his own if he tried. The bakers pick up their stuff and rush to the lounge (available, relatively sterile table) Cosmo setting down supplies and sprout running as fast as he can to get the suture kit (which now lives in the kitchen due to several uhh… incidents.)

The book club is sitting, still immersed in gameplay (used to random loud intrusions) before razzle shouts “JESUS- FINN WHAT HAPPENED???” And that was all it took for everyone else to turn over and become very panicked. “I- I DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING JUST HAPPENED AND I-“ Cosmo puts a hand on his shoulder “Finn, it’s alright.” Finn weakly nods and Cosmo turns to the book club. “Everyone, things are going to be fine!” Cosmo reassures as sprout rushes in with the (VERY MEDICAL AND PROFESSIONAL) staple gun, a sterilization kit, and the big boy medicine kit for big boy injuries.

Sprout wipes down part of the table and puts on some gloves, gesturing at shrimpo to hold out his right hand (bro’s right hand is NOT gonna be the dominant hand ever again on bro 💔). Shrimpo shakily holds out his hand and sprout gets a wad of gauze, unwrapping the bandage on his hand and quickly holding the gauze over the wound to minimize the bleeding. Even though it mostly slowed be sue of the tourniquet, it was still oozing ichor.

Shrimpo winces but tries his best not to react. “Okay uhhh.. shit. Cosmo do we have any scalpels?” “why the fuck we have surgical tools?” Astro sighs and walks over, “Well, I have a scalpel in my medical bag. Thank fuck it’s on this floor.” Astro walks away to go grab it.

Sprout kinda just stands there aggressively holding the fancy equivalent of a cotton pad onto shrimpo’s finger. “So uhhh… awkward..” “No homo.” “WHAT” “wait no I guess no hetero.” “WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???” “Hell if I know..”
Astro returns and opens his bag on the table, same menagerie of tools as last time. “Sprout do we have any local anesthetics?” “Uhh, no.” “Ok so shrimpo I’m gonna put you to sleep oka-“ “NOPE. I’ll just thug it out, thanks.” “Shrimpo I’m giving you a very good option here, and I don’t quite think you realize how painful this is gonna be.”

“I’ll be fine.” Shrimpo mildly scowled and looked over at sprout. “Hey man I’m not gonna tell you what to do.” Shrimpo smugly grinned at Astro, Astro just looked back with concern. Shrimpo tensed his left hand into a fist as sprout worked to unwrap his bandages, old wounds still sore. Shrimpo briefly panicked about what sprout thought of his wounds, but then soon remembered sprout already saw.. and didn’t care. He doesn’t know how to feel about that.

Astro stands next to sprout with the scalpel, “Shrimpo, are you sure you DON’T want me to make you fall asleep? This is GOING to hurt.” “I’LL BE FINE ASTRO JUST HURRY UP WITH IT.” Astro sighs and sets the scalpel down on his metal tray. “Okay shrimpo, move your leg over here I’m gonna need a skin graft.” Finn pipes up “wait WAIT- are you not gonna reattach the finger??” Cosmo pits an arm over Finn’s shoulder again. “Finn, the surgery for that kinda thing is long and complicated- and we just don’t have the equipment.. we Don’t even have proper sutures- nevermind the materials to reattach ligaments and bone” Finn looks sad. (Idk what to put here man I’m in middle school)

Shrimpo grunts and moves his leg over to astro, tightening his left hand’s fist. Astro looks at shrimpo with pitying eyes before eyeing an area on have s lower thigh and pressing the scalpel against it. He tried to focus on the cold metal and not the fear. Astro applied more pressure, careful to only cut the top layer of exoskeleton. It hurt less than he was expecting, but it still hurt like holy hell. Astro cut a circle about the size of a quarter before peeling off the shell with some tweezers, putting it in a metal bowl. After that he pressed the scalpel down again to cut through the fragile layer of skin under it. Now that hurt. That Hurt a LOT. Even with adrenaline still blocking out the pain from his hand that hurt. He clenched his fist tighter. It’s alright. He wanted the pain.

Then astro started to cut out the circle, shrimpo bit down on his tongue until he tasted irony warm ichor pool into his mouth. It didn’t help. When it was finally over astro passed the tray to sprout, the strawberry set it down and undid the makeshift tourniquet belt. He quickly took off the piece of gauze he was holding on, placing the skin flap on and stapling it to the rest of the finger, then taking some convenient superglue and gluing the seam so it wouldn’t bleed. Shrimpo just sat there with a VERY forced Mundane expression and a bleeding left hand 💔 Sprout dressed the would with some antibiotic crap and bandaged it well, making sure to also bandage the rest of shrimpo’s hand despite not being asked. Sprout exhaustedly takes off his gloves, “shrimpo, you doing alright?” “Ehh I’ve felt worse.. sure as shit felt better though.”

Shrimpo looks over at finn only to see Cosmo awkwardly trying to comfort a sobbing finn. “Finn the fuck are you crying for? You didn’t even lose a finger your ass gained one!” “I DON’T WANT TO KEEP YOUR FINGER SHRIMPOOOOOOOO” finn wails back, halfheartedly tossing the wrapped finger onto the table. “Oh sick.” Shrimpo picks up the finger and unwraps it, turning it and looking at it. Back to the book club, brightney is holding back a cackle, razzle looks disturbed, and dazzle looks confused in general.

Shrimpo holds his finger up to his face and sniffs it, astro suddenly looking something between panicked and scared. “SHRIMPO DON’T-“ *cruch* shrimpo takes a bite of his finger and brightney starts laughing, astro looks like he’s about to pull a sayori and finn cries harder. “Holy shit I taste good” “Shrimpo why are you like this.” Brightney stands up “ERM ACTUALLY- MOST SPECIES OF SHRIMP HAVE CANNIBALISTIC TENDENCIES!!!!” “I really didn’t want to know that.” Nearly everyone in the room replies at once. Shrimpo just quietly takes another bite out of his finger. “Man, I would have never known bit I’ve got squishy ass bones.” Astro looks disturbed, sprout raises his arms and Leaves the room. “Do… do all of us wave squishy bones?” Astro sheds a single tear.

The chaos continues and eventually everything gets sorted out, somehow they all ended up playing uno? Eventually a bunch of toons come to the lounge to wait for lunch. Shrimpo cackles, “PLUS FOUR DWEEB!!” Astro goes next, “thank god we’re stacking, plus 2, sorry brightney. “Oh darn… plus two, sorry razzle!” “Man… that’s so awful except I HAVE A PLUS FOUR!!!” Dazzle just places a plus 2 and the turn moves to sprout, “Oh what the fuck!” Shrimpo chuckles “draw 14 berry boy” “heh.. jokes on you, I HAVE A PLUS 2!” “WELL JOKES ON YOU BITCH I HAVE A REVERSE” “WELL DOUBLE JOKES ON YOU BECAUSE I ALSO HAVE A REVERSE” “WELL TRIPLE JOKES ON YOU BECAUSE I HAVE ANOTHER REVERSE” Sprout shakes his fist in fury and proceeds to draw 16 cards.

Then they all went to dinner, where sprout forced finn and shrimpo to do a ‘public service announcement’ about the danger of box cutters. (I could make a REALLY funny joke here but I’m not going to.)

Chapter Text

He.. she?.. just- He feels like shit. He should be happier now- he just spent time hanging out with his friends- can you believe it! He has friends! He’s making up with finn! He’s nearly been clean for a week now- SHE SHOULD BE HAPPY. So why isn’t she? Why isn’t he? Everyone at the table is talking and he’s just staring at her unfinished plate of food. He gets up and casually throws away what was left on his plate. It’s probably for the better she.. no he. AGH. that he couldn’t stomach anything right now, he probably shouldn’t be eating this much.

She sits back down at the table and tries to join into the conversation.. but she just can’t… he just feels so frustrated for no reason- he’s usually angry but this is just- annoying. “-yeah- and did you know that Cosmo is actually lactose intolerant?” “Wait REALLY?” “YEAH!! And he refuses to even take a lactate or anything! Like- I’ve seen him straight up chug a whole carton of milk after excercizing.. WHO DOES THAT??-” The conversation is hard to keep up with, he just wants to not be here- why IS he still here??? He gets up and pushes in his chair. “I’m gonna go to bed now y’all.. gotta rest.. or whatever” sprout pauses his conversation with finn “oh- alright! Are you sure you don’t want to stay? We’re probably gonna play another round of uno and finn is gonna make extra action cards?” “Nah I’m.. I’m good.” “Ok well, make sure to drink lots of water- and change all your bandages daily!!” “K sprout”

He waves the group goodbye and starts walking back to the elevator. Everything is too much. The fluorescent lights- the elevator beeping- the feeling of the bandages clinging to his exoskeleton and his tail dragging against tile.. *BING!* he gets off at his floor and when he finally gets to his room he slams the door and locks it. He faceplants on his bed, turning his head to the side so he can breathe and so that he..wait no fuck! She- can lie there for a few minutes. Looking at her room, it sucked. Dirty wrappers on the floor- trash- dirty clothes.. Ew. SHOULD she spontaneously try to clean it up? No, it’s like 8:00, is she going too? Yes.

But first- she can’t stand a single second more of irritating ambient noises. She gets her phone from her pocket and finds some wired headphones, playing his playlist comprised of… uhhh, don’t ask her, she doesn’t even know how to describe it. Except the first THREE times she shuffles it, it plays loud music. So she just switches to her calm, uhh.. liminal maybe? Playlist instead. Deep breath in, deep breath out. She leaves her room and goes to the laundry room on her floor (each floor has one because Dandy started freaking out about elevator usage)

The room is mostly empty.. aside from tisha folding laundry in the corner, which is usual for tisha. “Oh- shrimpo? I never see you here!.. although from the looks of that outfit it must be laundry day for you..” she snickers and sets down the shirt she was folding. “No seriously, why ARE you here? You don’t have any clothes except for the ones yer wearing!” “Just getting a basket.” “Oh, well unlucky for you there are none, I’m almost done folding the clothes in here though if you can stand to wait a few minutes.” Shrimpo sighs and sits down. “So uhh, you look rough. The hell happened to you?” “A lot.” “That’s a bad answer Shrimpo. What does ‘a lot’ even mean???” “IT MEANS A LOT HAPPENED!” “THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER!” “Ok FINE.. today or just.. I dunno, in general?” “Uhh, in general.” “Ok well, a few days ago I got in a bad fight with finn” “ohhh that explains the ichor- stained clothes, continue” “then uhh.. a lot of stuff that’s less significant, then today I accidentally sliced my finger off with a box cutter..”

“Oh… wow that’s uhh… a lot.” “Yeah no shit.” “So uhh.. you doin alright? Having a mental breakdown?.. that would explain the outfit choice-“ “STOP MAKING FUN OF MY OUTFIT IT ISN’T FUNNY.” “Shrimpo, honey, you’re wearing a skirt, how am I not supposed to make fun of you?” “Just… refrain” “oh please- what is up with you lately?? You usually love getting in petty arguments!” Shrimpo decides to just not respond to that. “Seriously dude are you doing alright?” Tisha insists. “….” Now or never… “Fuck no.” “Dang… wanna talk about it?” “I don’t know…” “taking that as a yes” “rude” “hypocrite. Anyways- the outfit. Why?” “It’s… confusing. I feel like I had this revelation and everything should be clear.. but it isn’t-“ “OHHH you’re a tranny?” “Tisha!” “Whaaaatttt? I’m right!” “Are you even allowed to say that??” “Yeah sure I can, anyways, well that’s cool. Do you want me to call you something different or something?” “That’s the thing… I don’t even know myself.. Like- I want to be a girl in the sense I want to be feminine.. but I don’t want to just BE a guy! I don’t want to do that ‘she/her’ bullshit I just want to exist! I fucking hate this!”

“I get that” “why the hell would you ‘get that’???” Tisha shrugs “sometimes labels and pronouns and all that kind of stuff can just feel like another thing- another wall to try and break though. I don’t see the point in trying to fit yourself into boxes just for other people to get what you’re going through.” She opens a bottle of windex next to her and chugs a uhh, quantifiable amount of chugging, while shrimpo sits there contemplating, not the windex but just the advice. “Huh.. Y’know I haven’t really thought of it like that… I like that mentality.. also are you drinking windex?” “No, blue Gatorade and vodka” shrimpo stares at her for a few seconds “…. Can I have some” Tisha tosses her a separate bottle, again, in a windex container.

Shrimpo fiddles with the lid for a bit before finally opening it, taking a sniff and then a sip. “Wow this is uhh, actually surprisingly good tasting” “oh yeah, I also added some koolaid powder, like seven lemons worth of juice, and some emergen-c to balance out the taste” shrimpo gives a nod of approval before taking another swig. “How many of these do you have anyways??” “There’s no actual windex in this room” “fire bro”
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“HAH!- ASTRO YOU HAVE 20 CARDS YOU’RE OUT!!!!” “What?? How is that fair!” “WE’RE PLAYING NO MERCY SO SUCK IT BITCH!” “OH FUCK YOU!” Astro nearly jumps across the table but sprout holds him back, “Astro, bro.. it’s uno. It’s not that serious” “HE MADE ME DRAW 64 CARDS SPROUT!” “I AM NOT CLEANING UP ANOTHER FISTFIGHT WITH FINN SO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!” Astro grumbles but sits down, twiddling his imaginary thumbs (GUYS GUYS I PROMISE REFF SHEET NEXT CHAPTER GUYS I SWEAR) sprout and Astro kind of have their own conversation while the game goes on and only really pay attention again when brightney shouts “I WIN DICKHEAD!!!” At finn, who is fuming so hard the water in his bowl starts to bubble. “Guys.. it’s UNO.” The same kind of thing with Astro occurs, but this time with both of the mains holding back the two (when combined) hazardous toons.

“Guys- guys why don’t we all just calm down and put the uno back where it belongs okay?” “And where is that…” finn grumbles “I found it in the little storage cabinet by Astro’s room..” “ok perfect! We can put the war starter away and all hang out in my room!” Everyone half agrees and they pile into the elevator, the old thing groaning with so much strain (it’ll be fine it’s just a different elevator than the mission one so it gets less maintenance)

*Ding!* They get off on Astro’s floor and all kinda sit around and hang out, taking turns on the TV playing trivia quest and playing more calm board games. After finn wins an aquatic trivia he gets up, “y’all, I’m gonna go check on shrimpo” “ok byeeee” finn briefly waves before quietly shutting Astro’s door. He walked to shrimpo’s room and saw that the door was cracked open.. shrimpo NEVER leaves his door open.. is he alright? He pushes open the door and sees the room empty.. or at least empty of shrimpo.. wait is that… giggling? He carefully closes shrimpo’s door and goes towards it.

He opens the laundry room door and… oh. Shrimpo is sitting inside of the washer, and tisha is sitting.. well more like leaning on the dryer, windex bottle in hand… actually shrimpo has one too. And they both look… VERY drunk, and there are empty windex bottles everywhere… and shrimpo’s.. “uhh..” “heyyyyy finnegann!” Tisha makes very weak finger guns at finn while giggling shrimpo sticks his head out of the washer “oh shit finney’s here? Hey guy!” Ok they’re drunk out of their minds shrimpo hasn’t called him finney since.. well.

“Are you guys drinking windex???” “Nononooo” shrimpo shakes his head and flops out of the washing machine, grabbing a full windex bottle off the floor, “it’s tisha’s fun juice!… you should.. you should try it!” “Okay sure.. let’s Uhh.. get y’all out of this room.. I don’t feel safe leaving you unsupervised” “ooookayy finney- just grab that box..” shrimpo kind of points to a crate. Finn sighs and drags it over, flopping shrimpo onto it, and dragging the box back to Astro’s room, tisha stumbling behind.

*knock knock* “oh, that must be finn” sprout opens the door “hey finn! Was shrimpo alrighhhh.. of course. Just.. bring em in.” Finn nods and drags everyone and everything into the room, dumping the idiot twins on a couch and leaving the crate by the door. “Well uhh, lucky for you finn we found something fun to do!!!” Sprout gestures towards astro “well, I may or may not have found the uhh, stash” “oh hell yeah”

Astro gets up on the highest surface he can find “OK OK- WHO HERE KNOWS HOW TO ROLL A BLUNT??” out of the people there, finn, brightney, sprout, shrimpo, and uhh, wait no, that’s everyone in the room. “OKAY GREAT, EVERYONE IN THE BATHROOM.” everyone piles into Astro’s small bathroom and he closes the door, setting down the supplies on the counter and kinda does stations, (no I will not be detailing the process of rolling a blunt, y’all can search that up, or don’t. Idc.)

After a bit astro seals the bag and sets aside all of the stuff, stuffing a towel under the door. “Okay just to clarify, I’m NOT gonna be in here. Ima step out while y’all do that just in case” Razzle announces before awkwardly leaving and shutting the door. (Dazzle does NOT like doing that stuff)

Astro passes around the blunts and a lighter. Uhh yeah. 👍👅👅👅

A few moments later (idk however long it takes for someone to get high, I’m not searching up any more weed related things)

“Dude… am I real?” “Uhhh I don’t know I think you are….” “If I bite my hand… would it taste like a strawberry?” “Uhh, no I’ve done that once I think” Sprout munching hand sounds “woah dude…. I think I’m a fruit” “if I think I’m real…. Am I?…” “that’s actually some pretty solid evidence” collectively “HATSUNE MIKU??????”
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Astro’s alarm blares… his head hurts so much. He turns it off and wills himself to sit up….. what the hell happened last night? There are windex bottles everywhere.. and his room smells like… lavender? “Morning sleepyhead!” “Ughhhhhhh…” “hello to you too astro. I went ahead and put the essential oil diffuser in here.. trust me it was necessary.” “Tisha… how are you so… not hung over…” “oh no I am.. no pain no gain!” “Remind me to NEVER ‘let’s hang out in my room’ EVER again.”

Chapter Text

*finn didn’t write any journal entries today, he’s been helping in the kitchen with Shrimpo and cosmo*

My ass is NOT trying to write this normally so let me just set the stage:

After like, an hour, the group crusaded to the kitchen to get snacks, and Cosmo was baking some sweets for the next few runs he’s on. So Rnd offered to help make some extras since… they ate it all. And razzle enjoys baking sometimes. Shrimpo offered to help volunteer because (don’t tell them I told you this but they like cooking and baking) and finn ended up tagging along be a use (and DON’T TELL HIM I TOLD YOU THIS. but he’s still not over it) and after a surprisingly brief ‘getting supplies from the pantry’ (two hour nap) shrimpo got back in the Uhh… baking random pastries for a hungry mob game. (It’s around 8:00 AM now, for the sake of continuity it just happens that Astro’s alarm is set to 8:15)((also I forgot to write it in but RnD went to sleep early))

Shrimpo was in the pantry getting a new bag of flour, cosmo hits the wall next to the door. “HEY! Shrimpo, you ARE actually getting stuff and not sleeping again right?” “Oh cut me some slack queer!” “Well hurry up!” Shrimpo continues to try and locate the desired ingredients. Meanwhile finn is stirring a bowl of batter, “finn, hon’…” “yeah?” “You’re stirring that too slow. Get some eggs from the fridge and crack them into a new bowl.” “Uhh… ok” Shrimpo returns with a bag of flour and ends up on cheese grating duty. “Ok uhh- finn, can you get me a can of sparkling water and the milk?” “Why….. y’know what? Ok” finn passes them over and Cosmo adds about half a cup of sparkling water and two cups of milk into the bowl with the eggs. “Why… why did you just put sparkling water in the eggs Cosmo…” “my handler told me it was how she made it” “uhh… right” “I’m done with the cheese” “ok, can you chop some onions then?”

Shrimpo starts cutting the onions and finn starts prepping a pot of boiling water “my eyes hurt” “ok Womp Womp” “why do my eyes hurt like what is making my eyes sting right now?” “The onions?” “Ohhh.” “What? My eyes don’t hurt at all?” “Yeah but you have freaky bug eyes” “feels horrid in here” “ ‘feels’? Bro what “ “idk man it just feels-“ *gag* Shrimpo calmly puts down the knife and walks away “wait why did he leave?..” finn asks kinda all sad like “oh it’s probably because-“ “ohhh. That makes sense, yeah… I’ll get him a cup of water”

Finn gets a glass of plain tap water, no ice, and sets it by the cutting board for Shrimpo. Shrimpo, finishing his uhh, buisiness, washes off his hands and face, then goes back. “Hey uhh.. Cosmo?” “Yep?” “Can I have the medkit real quick?” “Uhh.. why?” “Uhhh, dirty bandages.” “Ok sure, left upper cabinet by the other stove” “thanks.” Shrimpo climbs up, grabs it, and goes to the lounge to actually change out his bandages because.. there’s nowhere to sit in the kitchen. That’s pretty much it.

The only other toons in the lounge are Toodles, rodger, glisten and teagan, and they where doing they’re own thing so he really couldn’t care less. He carefully lumps off his wet bandages and pads the moist shell under them with a paper towel, wrapping it.. well to the best of his ability, and just sticking on some gauze on his face since he is NOT doing that shit without a mirror.

“Ok I’m back chat” “did you just deadass say ‘chat’ irl?” “Shut the fuck up finn you look like you peaked in highschool, and if I didn’t know you when you where that age I would still know that you just skipped any point in your life similar to that.” “Uhh… damn.” Cosmo hits shrimpo not-so-gently with a wooden spoon “shrimpo, be nice.” “And why exactly should-“ “ok SHRIMPO you can either be nice or get the fuck out of my kitchen because I am NOT about to clean up another fight from you two, am I clear?” He didn’t wait for a response “Good, because I’ve got 33 toons to feed and if you two don’t lock the fuck in then it’ll be down to 31, and I really wouldn’t mind making less servings.”

In short, they locked in. (Got plates and stuff while Cosmo made more batter) “Finn, is the water boiling?” “Uhh, yep!” “Ok then, can you get the tools in the upper right section of drawer 4?” “Uhhhh..” “I’ll get it myself, shrimpo, use your weird shrimp senses, is the batter even enough?” Shrimpo awkwardly sticks his finger in the batter and eats it “I mean.. yeah” “ok good because if I have to do one more round of stirring I might just lace the food” “….what” “you heard me gayboy”

Cosmo took out what looks like a tiny cutting board with a handle and a dull knife thing and began sorcery (cutting noodles into the boiling water with a fancy Spätzle making board thing) “…how are you doing that?” “Bang bang bang” “what.” “It was a refference…. Nevermind.” Shrimpo and finn help mix some melted cheese in and get finished plates ready to be served while Cosmo calls dandy to let him know there’s not breakfast for him today- at least not right now because the kitchen is coated with flour.

Cosmo hangs up the call and takes off his apron “ok you two can serve food to people, just don’t kill anyone and don’t waste the food ok? Also Finn, get a cover for your head and shrimpo, your bandage thing on your face is crooked, fix that because it looks disgusting. Call me for lunch and if I don’t respond the first time DON’T call me again I am fucking exhausted and you two can find out some shit to make yourself.” Finn and shrimpo kinda just stand there confused. “So uhh… what do we do?” “Serve the food dumbass” “right..”

The clock chimes and goob comes running “Morning Cosmo!- oh, you aren’t Cosmo. Where’s sprout?” “SPROUT IS ASLEEP AND COSMO LEFT.” “Oh.. ok.” Shrimpo passes over a plate “Here’s breakfast.” “Well.. thanks I guess” “BYE.” Then scraps trails in “goob why do you always have to run ahead of me I was TRYING to finish what I was doing.” “My bad man, I was hungry.” Scraps spots the uhh… creatures working the counter “GOOB DON’T EAT THAT” “why?” “ARE YOU- let me calm down, but did you NOT see shrimpo serving that??? He probably poisoned it or something for all we know!” “Nahh I don’t really think he would-“ “you don’t really think in general, throw it away.” “Scraps you know damn well that I WANT TO EAT BREAKFAST. so get your paranoid- shrimphobic butt away from me.” Scraps starts to protest but just angrily storms out.

There are a few more reactions like scraps, more of just “oh ok, can I get my food now?” Though. They all kinda just fly through, until Astro walks in at least. “Hey Cosmo..” he tiredly rubs his eyes “wrong guy” “oh- wait Shrimpo? You’re serving breakfast today??? What the fuck happened last night??” “You… don’t remember..?” “Nope, literally nothing” “go ask the berryboy or something, I was helping in the kitchen” “huh… wait!-“ Dread shot through him at that start of a sentence. “You finally got to actually bake again!” Oh dear god why did he have to bring that up. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.” “Oh.. my bad- but still! Also uhh, where did Cosmo go?” “To sleep apparently.” “Eh, understandable. So uhh, what are y’all planning on doing?” “Uhhhh-“ “I don’t feel like cleaning this shit so idk, hang out here?” “Aren’t you banned from the kitchen..?” “Yeah but me and sprout are chill now” “are you sure?” “If we’re close enough for…. His behavior.. then his ass is letting me in the kitchen. And I’M HUNGRY SO FUCK YOU.” astro just sighs and leaves with his breakfast.

“So uhh.. should we clean the kitchen?” Shrimpo groans “fine… But you’re doing most of it.” “Wha- how is that fair!” “I’m short a finger, so it’s fair enough.” “God you’re insufferable. Just- at least put everything away? I’m gonna get myself some food.” “Yeah yeah finnegan.” Shrimpo puts.. well more accurately throws everything somewhere similar to where it goes.. he might’ve broken a glass throwing the pot in the sink..

———————————————————————————————

A few hours later… “hey guys, I’m back..” “oh thank god I thought I’d need to actually cook something” “is the kitchen.. clean at least?” “Yeah.. shrimpo forced me to clean it” “well EXCUSE me- I JUST replaced this shit!” “Yeah well maybe you shouldn’t make someone with joint pain do it!” “WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE WITH A CHOPPED OFF FINGER DO IT.” “YOU DID THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF.-“ “guys. I just need to know if the kitchen has any gluten. That’s it.” “NO.” They both yell at once. “Great, could you two please leave? I’m sure there’s room in the lounge or if y’all just want to dissipate.. I need the kitchen to myself for a moment” Shrimpo grumbles and they both just awkwardly make their way to the lounge.

“Look okay- I don’t see how this!-“ She waves her lack of finger at Finn’s face “could possibly be my fault! Ok? Nobody’s Finger should be THAT soft that a box cutter can get it clean off!” “Well maybe you should know more about your own anatomy!- why- you shouldn’t even HAVE a skeleton! Be grateful- you’ll probably heal anyways!” “Wait what” “well- Yeah, have you not noticed your face thing is healing really fast?” “I mean I guess but… why not for any of my other injuries?” “Well, since you only have SOME shrimp dna in you, you have a lower stem cell count than you should, still much higher than most of the other toons and definitely all humans. So your body just prioritizes bigger wounds” “ohhh.. wait what do you even mean ‘most toons’?” “Oh I heal really quick, see?” Finn holds up his knee to shrimpo and shows them what was formerly a considerable crack, now just being a small, jagged scrape- looking scar on his glass. “Huh.. I’m sorry for that again by the way..” “WAS THE LETTER NOT ENOUGH???” “LET ME TALK.- I just… Look.. I started it. I made some immature comment because I was in a bad mood and I just ran with it and overreacted. I know that you want to feel bad for me and act like I’m some savior but I’m not. I’m also an asshole sometimes. So no, the letter wasn’t enough.” Finn just sits there for a moment, his lure slightly dimming (he has one of those btw)

“That was…. Surprisingly genuine from you..” They sit there in silence for a while, shrimpo doesn’t know what to say and Finn doesn’t know how to say it. “Shrimpo….” “Hm?” “Are we… ok?” Shrimpo starts to say something but stops. That sentence hurts. “I mean.. I know we haven’t been.. anything for a long time, but I don’t know.. are we just.. friends now?” Shrimpo sighs, “Finn, I don’t fucking know. Friends works- your room is pretty cool and you know how to deal with weird hand shit so I think.. it might be cool to be.. friends again” his face reddens slightly, Finn’s lure glows a bit brighter. It doesn’t feel like anything exciting, it doesn’t feel like a spark, or an arrow through the heart. It feels like the stones on a riverbed, and the pain after popping your knuckles. It feels like the first flowers of spring, and the dead grass in the harshness of summer. Not burning, just warm. Not quite love, or at least not the sparking, arrow to the heart kind of love.

“I think it would be nice to be friends again too.” Finn smiles, and gives Shrimpo a hug. They stand there for a few seconds before awkwardly hugging back. Finn’s hugs where a lot nicer now. A lot softer, heck, you could barely tell his skin was basically plexiglass with a soft membrane over it! That actually reminded him of something… “hey finn?” Finn pulls back from the hug and looks at shrimpo “yeah?” “Does the uhh.. did you see the ribcage glow?” “Is that a refference…?” “Yeah- but do you still do the glowy thing? “OH- yeah!-“ Finn flicks off the nearest light switch “look-“ Finn starts pulling up his shirt “WAIT DON’T FLASH ME-“ Too late 💔 Finn’s shirt is AWFFF, but it actually wasn’t that bad, actually it wasn’t bad at all! (LET ME FINISH THE SENTENCE OK??) wait a minute.. “WAIT- Finn! When did THAT happen?” “Wait what” “You got em chopped?” “Oh… I thought you knew yesterday” “I was kinda uhh… high on adrenaline and blood loss” “yeah you’ve been doing that a lot nowadays.” “WAIT OMG- You have a living finn in there? Since when???” “Oh- well barnaby jr had babies a few months ago! There are a few others- also don’t worry about the baby’s health, it’s.. a weird system but my body Cavity isn’t connected to my head water at all.. unless I reach in my head and open it up..” “wait so uhh… how do you eat food?”

“Good question… well I mean.. yeah see! That’s my stomach right there!” Finn points to his stomach because you can lowkey see all his organs in there… and the weird inner membrane to keep them seperate from the water…. Ew “Ew..” “girl it’s not like you HAVEN’T seen it before” Finn FINALLY rolls back down his shirt “well… actually fair point- but it’s still a little weird.” “Pfft- I guess.. I guess it’s just my weird body though” “I meant- it’s a little funky but that doesn’t make it bad- I mean it’s really just your digestive tract, nothing too awful about that at all!” “I guess… it is hell having a short small intestine though…” “it does seem a bit inconvenient.. is that why you eat fish pellets?” “Oh…” “well?” “No I don’t.. I don’t eat fish pellets do I?” “Well I’ve de-FINN-itely seen you do it” “now that’s just mean.. OH sometimes I crush up my vitamins and pretend they’re fish flakes” “that is so beyond weird dude.” “You’ve done weirder.” “Oh like what?!” “Do you want a list??” “Well actually I do!”

“WELL THEN BUDDY BOY- For starters you-..” “For starters I what!?” “I’m uhh.. wow I’m not going to say that.. that is very mean.” “Wait- what where you going to say? Garantie I won’t get offended,trust” “… oh man I seriously shouldn’t, I don’t want to get jumped again” “SAY IT.” “ok fine- for starters, I remember that time you stole one of my old bras and tried it on, then the SECOND time you did that, then that time I caught you actually eating my fish flakes, then that time you randomly took off your skin in my room and expected me to be.. I don’t know, interested?- in that, then the five times you threw up because I turned on my humidifier- and don’t even get me STARTED on the Emo shit.” Shrimpo just kinda sits there.. “I uhh… damn. DAMNIT. I CAN’T EVEN BE MAD ABOUT IT NOW.” Finn just giggles with the biggest shit eating grin on his face

Cosmo leans on the doorway and waits for them to stop talking for a few minutes, eventually getting impatient and just announcing it. “It’s lunch soon, y’all are serving it.” “Damnit cosmo. I don’t wanna serve that shit!” “Ok then, Finn is serving it.” “Uhh.. okay?” “Thank fuck! I’ll be in my room.” “Oh- well bye shrimpo!” He was already walking away 🥀

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Shrimpo got to their room and locked the door. Sighing in.. relief? Exhaustion? Heck if he.. they?.. she? Well whatever the fuck- knew. He lays on his bed. Just to think. Maybe to sleep… is that the right one? He? I mean.. it doesn’t feel too weird on him. It just feels like his pronouns.. but then is he a girl?.. one of those they/thems?… fuck gender. Maybe he could just stop thinking about it. That would be nice. So what if he felt super girly yesterday but also kinda not really today? Who gives a shit! Wow.. that uhh.. that feels freeing. Holy. Y’know what else would be freeing? A shower. He feels fucking crusty right now.

He turns on the shower and.. y’know what? He turns off the shower and gets a drain plug, turning on the main faucet instead. A bath would be nice right now. Maybe.. maybe he deserves it. The warm water on his skin feels like heaven. Even though there’s still that guilt.. still that gnawing feeling that he doesn’t deserve something this nice… the water on his skin still feels like heaven. It.. reminds him of the last time he took a bath. The guilt. The pain.. he only took it because he felt so dirty. So unkempt. And he still felt calmer then, even though black was staining that warm water it still felt like heaven on his skin. And even though it stung open wounds, maybe that was the ‘heaven’ he wanted back then…

The thought disgusts him now. He can’t imagine doing that, it’s revolting. The feeling of metal against skin.. the sound… god…… and there are still scars.. faded barely seen scars.. seen less and less with each shed.. part of him wanted them to stay. Seeing them fade feels like he never went through it. Even that time.. that one time he went too far and that one time that inky black stained his bath water… even those scars are almost gone. It’s always seemed so horrifying but… he’s smiling. He’s happy that they’re almost gone, that one moment was never really going to leave a permanent mark- a permanent reminder that this is all he has… it fades. This all fades. It won’t always be this bad…

————————————————————————————-

“Shrimpo?” Finn stood knocking at shrimpo’s door “SHRIMPO! ARE YOU IN THERE BUDDY??” Shrimpo heard that time and just… ugh. He throws on a towel and answers the door. Still dripping water- but he doesn’t”t really care if his room gets wet. “WHAT.” “Shrimpo! Oh- sorry!” “Why are you here” “I just wanted to hang out!” “I was taking a bath.” “Ok…? Can we still hang out?” “Can I go back to my bath?” “Is that a no?” “….. no..?” Finn takes that as a yes and follows shrimpo back into his room. He doesn’t care, he just wants to get back to his nice warm bath. Who cares if Finn is there.

Finn awkwardly sits leaning back on the cabinet on the floor, reading some random book about fish, and shrimpo plucks some of the last bits of leftover shed from his tail (yes, there are still leftover bits) “hey shrimpo?” “Yeah?” “Did you know that shrimp have stunted growth if they have nothing to eat?” “Huh, maybe that’s why I’m so short then” “Heh! Maybe.. hey wait no! Don’t say that shrimpo! You’re doing perfect” Shrimpo chuckles a bit “Pfft- whatever you say man” “hey I’m serious I-“ Finn looks over at shrimpo for a second to make his point and quickly scuttles over to look at his arm “Shrimpo..” he sounds sad, like stereotypical Sunday cartoon sad. He grabs shrimpo’s arm gently and looks at it, the fresh pink scarring of an injury that went just below the shell before his shed…. “Shrimpo, are these recent?” “Oh god..” “Shrimpo!” “Ughhh” “be serious! When did this happen???” “Why do you care??” “Because I care about you shrimpo??” “Just- a few days ago ok?” “Shrimpo!” “Finn! What do you want me to do about it man!” “Ok- fine just.. where is it?” “Huh?” “The y’know- the thing you used where is it!” “Oh come on!” “Shrimpo I’m fed up! Ok? You aren’t allowed to just be so sad all the time- it’s not good for you!” “….” He sits up a bit and sighs. “I left it under my mattress.” “Thank god finally.”

Finn gets up and goes rummaging around until he finds it, “aww dude!” “What?” “I can’t take this! It’s a nice pocket knife- that feels like stealing!” “I mean I don’t really mind, it was kinda just sitting around anyways..” “noooooo… I insist! Ok? You can use this for some cool stuff!” “….like cutting myself?-“ “SHRIMPO.” “whatttt? I don’t have any good use for it anyways, you’re the one always doing artistic shit.” “But…” “ok, I insist uhh- more than you do, just take it.. that way you don’t have to worry about me or.. whatever it is you do” Finn hesitates but reluctantly takes the knife, stowing it away in a hidden pocket in his vest. (NOT the life jacket, he usually just wears that on missions)

———————————————————————————

After a little bit of kinda sitting around, shrimpo dries off and they kinda just.. keep hanging around. At some point finn dragged shrimpo to go eat something and they watched some shitty movies. Finn ended up falling asleep though.. shrimpo tried to get him on the bed at one point but just gave up and threw a blanket on him, curling up next to him. It was nice, having someone to just exist with. He never really realized how much he missed that.

Chapter Text

He woke up, everything still hazy from sleep. His alarm blares, it’s 9:00. He should probably get up, he already missed breakfast. But it’s so comfy here on his.. oh, well he’s not on his bed.. where is he? He tries to sit up but can’t. Why can’t he sit up? Is there something on him what’s going on?- oh.

“FINN WAKE YOUR FATASS UP.” “huh wha…” shrimpo angrily moves his leg to try and knock finn off of him “FINN GET UP” “five more minutes..” “YEAH FIVE WHOLE FINGERS UP MY ASS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE FISTING ME RIGHT NOW. MOVE YOU HORIZONTAL ASS BITCH!!!” Shrimpo successfully gets finn off of him and goes to get ready for the day. Hmm.. what all does he have in his closet, he feels compelled to dress up today…. OH MY GOD. IT’S A DRESS HE STOLE FROM.. actually he doesn’t remember where he stole it from, but besides the point- IT’S WONDERFUL AND IT’S RED AND IT HAS A LITTLE BOW ON IT- oh he totally stole this from glisten didn’t he. He probably won’t miss it, plus it’ll look better on him than that dumbass fag.. he should try it on to be sure though… also he should probably be a little less confidant with that vocabulary because he might get punched again.

He went in his bathroom (mirror ofcc) and shut the door, changing into the dress and checking himself out in the mirror. Why did he have such a gorgeous dress and NOT wear it???? He looks so awesome, and cool, and pretty, and feminine and- (KNOCK KNOCK MOTHERFUCKER) “shrimpo? Hurry up I need to get ready” “You can come in idc” finn opens the door with a little cup in hand, which was cute, before he barfed up a fish and put it in the cup with some water “finn that is disgusting.” “You’ve done worse, must I remind you of the skin?” Shrimpo sighs “whatever, just… do you have an air filter in there?” shrimpo takes note of the important things as finn takes off his shirt and.. does a handstand in his bathtub…. “Actually yeah I do! It’s connected to my lungs! Teehee!!” “Do not teehee me in that stance.” “Speaking of- what the fuck are you doing exactly?” “Changing my water” “ok well.. clean up after yourself because I don’t want gross organ water in my bathtub.”

Finn gets down and puts his head up to the faucet, turning it on and filling himself with water “yeah yeah sure, did I complement that dress yet?” “I don’t know hoe I am NOT paying attention” “your cut looks infected” “I’m aware- why are you examining me bro?” “This kinda takes a bit, I’m bored. Also you’re nice to look at” Finn chuckles and shrimpo throws a bar of soap at him “DONT SAY THAT.” Finn pretends to both not know why shrimps would say that and not notice how red that damn crustacean was getting “why? I’m just trying to complement you!” “You know exactly what you’re doing fishboy.” “No clue what you’re talking about” Finn notices some spill over and turns off the faucet, standing up and tipping out some of his water.

“You are so weird.” “Not weirder than you!” Finn puts his fish in his mouth and throws a medkit at shrimpo, “also- for the love of god, clean your damn face. It looks gross.” Shrimpo grumbles to himself before trying to have a bit of decency “I’ll take note of that thanks.” “Well anyways- I’m gonna go make myself something to eat, later!” “Bye.”

He.. probably should clean it out actually. He hasn’t really put any effort into caring for it other than washing vomit off himself and changing the bandage.. sometimes. Finn wasn’t kidding, it looks nasty. He should probably look for something to clean it with or something- he would ask Astro but… well he has mixed feelings about Astro. Is it even supposed to look like that? It looked a lot better earlier.. that’s not good- he should really do something about that instead of staring in the mirror about it.

He opens the medkit and looks through it for something, unfortunately it’s mostly just gauze, adhesive gauze, bandaids, more gauze, and some cotton pads. And more gauze. Damn bitch how much gauze can one person need? Whatever. He runs the tap and splashes some cold water on it. It stings. Bad. Getting an even better look in the mirror the swelling looks like it’s tugging on the staples almost, making it look more like an open gash than the tiny reddish black line it started with.

….

I mean he does have to clean it- and it couldn’t make it worse… could it? He grabs his hand sanitizer and some cotton pads from the medkit. Wait what if he gets alcohol poisoning or something.. nah people use this kinda stuff all the time it’s fine.

He puts a glob of it on a cotton pad and lets it soak in a little before gently- but not to gently because with his shaky hands the sanitizer would fall off if he went too slow- dabbing it onto his face cut. It’s actually kinda cooling, not bad at all!

Ow

Ow ow ow ow OW OW OW OW OW

“OW HOLY SHIT- FUCK WHY DID I DO THAT” he yells- a little louder than he’d usually do for his own privacy, but he wasn’t really thinking that clearly, turning on the faucet and trying to desperately wash that shit off, his hands shaking worse than ever with the pain and the hand sanitizer rubbing on the sensitive half healed scabs. Unfortunately the water didn’t help much and the fumes from the sanitizer were making his eyes water. Speaking of which he was starting to get that familiar-

He just barely braced himself on the sink before the torrent of blue gunk arrived. Acidic and horrible, his face was too close to the sink so a few drops splashed back on his face, and into his cut. Gross. After that he just.. gave up. He was in such a good mood before all this too- why does this shit always happen to him? So he’s giving up. This is the line drawn in the sand. Sitting on the floor of his bathroom trying not to cry. Again. He needs to do something but he just can’t will himself to get up and try to fix himself again.

That’s when an idea hit. Call someone! He grabbed his phone and looked at the options, Finn? No Finn just left his room he wouldn’t want to come back, Astro is probably busy, and sprout by extent since this is the time they usually go on their weird exclusive ‘wow I’m a main character and more than five people like me!’ runs. That leaves… tisha? I mean, tisha cleans stuff right?.. also it was really fun getting drunk with her that one time and… whatever else happened that night.

Beep beep boop

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

“Hello this is tisha speaking, what do you need?” “Hey, this is shrimpo uhh.. can you help me with something a little gross?” “Are you finally letting me clean your room??” Tisha sounded almost excited. “Uhh no.” He’s scared of what she’ll think.. or worse what she might find “ok well then what?” “Infected cut.” “Girl why the fuck would I know what to do with that” “I don’t know!! Don’t you clean things??” “Yeah I clean rooms not your nasty ass shit!! Go get cosmo or something!” “Oh yeah. I kinda forgot he exists ,well thanks I guess.. hey is my laundry done? I don’t think I ever left to pick it up” “yeah it’ll be there if you stop by at some point.” “Cool.. uhh well bye.” Tisha didn’t say bye back and just hung up.. rude. Actually he can’t be talking.

Okay so let’s try this again..

Beep boop beep

[RING]

[RI-]

“Hey, what do you need.. guy?” “Hey cosmo. Uhh- I know that y’all said Astro is better with the… gross stuff, but I think I assumed correctly when I guessed that he’d be busy right now” “yeah unfortunately.. well what do you need? If it’s not too bad I can still help out” “my face thing, it looks really gross- like worse than when I first got it” “uhh… yeah sure I can do that, meet me in the lounge?” “Okay, be there soon, bye” “bye!” So that’s that. Yay. He kicks on some sandals and throws on his jacket, wincing when the sleeve gets caught on and peels off a scab from his hand. “Ow ow ow.. okay uhh” he throws on some messy roll bandage and grabs his phone and leaves. Awkwardly trying to run, not too much success but y’know.

When he gets in the elevator and presses the floor he’s starting to regret wearing the dress. There are definitely going to be people there and how the fuck is he gonna explain this? He feels stupid. Why kn earth would he ever do this? The elevator doors open. No turning back.. he just keeps his head forward, ignore them looking ignore anyone looking ignore everyone- “hey shrimpo!” It’s Finn. Oh thank goodness it’s Finn. “Hey- uhh I kinda have somewhere to be” “okay, bye shrimpo!” He awkwardly waves and shuffles into the lounge, seeing cosmo already waiting.

He tries not to audibly sigh in relief sitting down and having his back facing everyone, being able to ignore it if there’s someone staring rudely. “Hey shrimpo, took ya long enough!” “Yeah sorry, I came as fast as I could” “oof- yeah I can see what you where talking about.. that’s really swollen” “yeah I kinda started trying to to something about it and just gave up” cosmo nods and starts digging around in his medkit “well what did you start with?” “Well I tried splashing water on it.. but that didn’t work and kinda just stung.. then I tried using.. something else for it and that just hurt more..” he withheld the information that it was sanitizer because cosmo- being all professional and medical- probably wouldn’t like that. Unfortunately there was no point “shrimpo- be honest with me, did you use something that wasn’t disinfectant from a medkit?” “…. Yeah..” “shrimpo tell me what you used.” “Uhh… hand sanitizer?” Cosmo looks horrified. Why does everyone looks at him like that when he tells them? It’s really not that bad. “SHRIMPO.” If the attention in the room wasn’t on them before it definitely was now- the people in the room just being the circus troupe.

“Huh? Did I miss something?” Yatta turned around to see if something interesting was happening “SHRIMPO-“ cosmo takes a slightly shaky deep breath before continuing and trying not to yell “shrimpo put HAND SANITIZER- HAND SANITIZER. ON HIS. ON HIS INFECTED- INFLAMED GIANT FACE GASH. ON HIS FACEGASH. WHYWOULDHEPUTSANITIZERONANOPENIMFECTEDWOUND?????????” Shrimpo kicks cosmo under the table for Being so hysterical about that.

“Oh. I thought he punched you or something, I’m still kinda mad that I missed that sick ass fight, scraps told be about it.” Looey looks up from the thing he’s sewing. “Yatta don’t say that!” “What??? I like seeing people beat each other up- scraps might’ve been playing it up but she said Finn got pretty hurt- and shrimpo might’ve gotten hurt back, I dunno I kinda didn’t ask for the details.” Cosmo sighs, having cooled down from his conniption “Yatta- don’t go around hyping up fights unless you wanna be scrubbing ichor out of the tiles for the next two days.” “Well now I’m really bummed I missed it-“ Yatta giggles and turns to shrimpo “I didn’t know you busted Finn’s ass THAT badly!!”

The emotions that bubbles up at that sentence could be described on any spectrum from horribly depressed to enraged. He hates thinking about it- about that. “I didn’t” “oooh mister tough guy over here underestimating himself!! Cmon, if there was that much blood you must’ve been sick out there!!” “Yatta!” “Looey, I get that you wanna be all nice but I’m just hyping up the guy, what’s wrong with complementing his sick moves?” “I would rather you didn’t hype up my ‘sick moves’ yatta. I don’t really wanna dwell on it.” Shrimpo mildly interrupts and tries to be more firm than rude. Cosmo interjects as well “yeah it kinda.. wasn’t very fun- for anyone involved… I really don’t think scraps is a very good source either..” “it couldn’t have been that bad.. plus why is scraps not a good source?” “She’s just.. a tad bit biased.. and also really passionate about not liking shrimpo“

Yatta shrugs and adjusts how she’s sitting to better look at shrimpo and cosmo “well then how about you tell be what happened?” “I was in the kitchen for the actual fight. Shrimpo?” “Fine.” Shrimpo turns his chair to face everyone and takes a deep breath. “So basically- uhh” he suddenly remembers that starting from the top isn’t a very good idea for this story but he’s honor bound to continue. “so basically- I was in the lounge early because I.. wanted to be in there early. And y’know it was fine and even though the annoying idiot twins came through. But then Finn comes his being loud and annoying. So I told him to be quiet in a.. maybe not so nice way and we might’ve argued.. and I might’ve punched him.. and at one point he might’ve maybe broken a piece of glass off his knee and.. uhh. And well I didn’t stop to ask if he was okay or- or been level headed about it so Finn might’ve attacked back and I..” he takes a deep breath “I got a bit hurt… and it was well deserved, I did.. start the fight after all so it wasn’t really that bad..”

he stays silent a bit and yatta prods “go on?” “I kinda.. threw up and I don’t.. really know what happened after that.” Yatta looks mildly dissatisfied “what do you mean you don’t know?? Are you holding out on me?” Cosmo thankfully interrupts. “No he didn’t ‘hold out on you’ he’s just.. downplaying.” Yatta looks very reinterested. “Okay so, Finn was stressed out and, his knee wasn’t even hurt that badly, he just breaks when it’s enything that would show up as more than a scrape on one of the other toons. But he was stressed out so he made some questionable decisions and swiped at shrimpo with the piece of glass. I’m sure he only intended to get him away but it.. cut pretty deep. Ihm.. I’m not sure the full string of events but I know that I went to announce food and there was ichor everywhere- and shrimpo fainted and hit his head on the counter. Sprout and Finn helped me get shrimpo all situated and they helped clean a bit of the mess.. we called Astro in because me and sprout don’t know how to staple a wound..”

“Cool” “yresim srehto morf tnemyojne gniredner pots ot deen uoy attay” “I no no wanna.” Shrimpo looks confused “does anyone else know what the fuck blot said?” “Nothing important, anyways so.. is that the cut on your face now?” “Yeah.. it got infected because I kinda didn’t do anything about it.” “Bummer, and that’s why you put hand sanitizer on it?” “Yeah it’s what I usually use” cosmo facepalms “shrimpo genuinely why are you using hand sanitizer for open wounds?” “I dunno, I don’t get disinfectant because I never get medkits or anything” “okay well- don’t do that anymore? Okay? Stop doing that? Just ask me or sprout or something?” “Yeah yeah” yatta somehow appears behind shrimpo and scares the shit out of him “I just do it because I like the sting!” “JESUS!” Shrimpo almost falls out of his chair but catches himself.

After processing what yatta just said for a moment shrimpo just looks mildly concerned and cosmo sighs in ‘why do I always have to be the therapist’ “yatta.. honey that’s not normal behavior.. don’t do that” yatta shrugs again and yawns “I’m bored. Go on and clean that Thang I wanna watch” “.. right”

Cosmo gets out his supplies and starts gently cleaning the edges with a disinfectant and lightly dabbing the inside with gauze to pick up any liquids. “Sorry this is a little awkward.. I’m trying my best” “it’s fine.” Cosmo grabs another different medkit except this one is full of different homemade salves and herbs and stuff “me and sprout have been using some of the planters around the place to try growing out own medicine since dandy can only order the essentials” “cool.” “Don’t worry it’s actual like- stuff that’s gonna help not just weird home remedies” cosmo takes some gauze and makes a little sterile-ish poultice with some turmeric
“Actually funny enough half of these we just got in bulk for cooking, I don’t think we’ve ever actually used these for cooking though”

Shrimpo just kinda tunes out cosmo while he awkwardly wraps roll bandages around shrimpo’s head to hold the gauze-poultice-thing in place. He only starts paying attention when cosmo snaps at his face “hey! You looked like you where zoning out, but at dinner come get a new one from me, also get a new one Tommmorow at breakfast.. then Tommmorow at dinner I’ll check how it’s doing.. I feel like I’m forgetting something.” Shrimpo reaches up to feel the bandages on his face “well I can’t really remember it” “Shrimpo. I can tell damn well you didn’t remember it because your finger bandage has a frosting stain on it.” “Oh. You’re right I did kind of forget about that” “shrimpo how do you forget that your finger is gone” he shrugs and cosmo grumbles about cutting off the rest of shrimpos fingers himself while opening the first medkit again.

It’s a lot quicker than the awkward face bandaid to replace it, cosmo also putting some weird herby stuff on it ‘just in case’ because it was trapped in that dirty bandage for a few hours at least. “Alright uhh.. wow it’s kinda getting late. Wanna help in the kitchen again?” “Sure, I wasn’t doing anything else today anyways” “yo because I was here can I get food early?” “Yatta- you can get food early if you help in the kitchen.. just don’t burn it down again?” “No promises!” “Actually no you do have to promise because I personally want to eat.” Looey looks over at yatta again before continuing his sewing.

They shuffle into the kitchen, cosmo handling the stove, shrimpo chopping stuff again, and yatta fetching ingredients because she can’t be trusted. “YATTA!” “WHAT.” “RICE” “ON IT” cosmo took the rice and I don’t know, washed it and threw it in the rice cooker. “Why are we making rice? Please tell me we aren’t having stir fry again” “shrimpo why are you so against stir fry? We don’t even make it that often!!” “Well it feels more often because I don’t usually get food at meal times.” “I guess, it’s just easy to make enough for everyone, and this way I don’t have to be bending over backwards so that dandy can eat.“ shrimpo just shrugs and starts chopping up whatever yatta delivers to him.

“Speaking of, did you ever tell me what you were eating? I just know that sprout kinda banned you from the kitchen and all that drama but I kinda.. didn’t get filled in on the rest?” “Oh.. really? I could’ve sworn we’ve talked about it before?” “Honestly we might have, I kind of have a short term memory” “well, after sprout banned me from the kitchen he also said not to come to meal times, then I didn’t take it that seriously but lo and behold he kicked me out of lunch so I just stopped trying to come” “I mean, you did sneak into the kitchen to get food though?” “… is that good or bad if I did” “I mean.. good? I’d rather have a dumb boundary broken than a toon starve because sprout got a little upset” “I mean I kinda did, only sometimes.. I didn’t really cook much though, like once or twice at night maybe” “well that’s less good.. what were you eating usually?” Cosmo looks more concerned. Shrimpo just feels bad at that. Why would he be worried about him. “Snacks from the counter.. fridge stuff.. trash…” he says the last one very quiet in hopes cosmo brushes it off or doesn’t hear.

Cosmo stays quiet and stops whatever he’s doing. “Would you excuse me for a moment?” He walks off to a closet, grabs an apron, and screams into it until he can trust himself not to pour hot water on someone out of outrage. Shrimpo and yatta both hear this and just exchange a Glance before getting back to work

Cosmo walks back into the kitchen and gets back to I don’t know, stirring fries or something I can’t cook. “I need to like.. get dandy to start doing group therapy or something” cosmo mutters but definitely loud enough for everyone to hear. “Well I for one, do not want to do group therapy- or therapy at all in fact” “ok well I have a sneaking suspicion that you might need it! Why the hell are you eating trash????” “It’s easy to get..?” “SHRIMPO YOU CAN JUST ASK ME TO MAKE YOU SOMETHING WHY WOULD I WANT YOU TO BASICALLY STARVE???” “I DONT KNOW?? MAYBE YOU AND SPROUT JUST DONT- OR DIDNT LIKE ME AND THATS WHY!” yatta pulls out an air horn and honks it for a few seconds “STOP FUCKING YELLING OH MY LORD”

Shrimpo covers his antennae with his hands because the loud blaring hurts them and cosmo covers his.. ears? Where they would be at least. “Ow- ok yeah yeah yatta i get the point but why did you need an air horn for that???” “Dramatic appeal, anyways continue?” Cosmo sighs again and turns back to shrimpo “I mean? I guess. You’re just a bit loud mainly, but I don’t see why that’s a reason to not have food..” “why not though? I mean I cause enough trouble as is.. I don’t really do much other than cause trouble..” “you do more than that though, I mean- you’re helping out in the kitchen right now! And you’re apparently really fun to hang out with, and that’s not just because sprout told me!” Oh. Well that’s… weird. Why would sprout say that he’s fun to hang out with? And why would cosmo think that? “I guess?.. I think sprout just wants to see me and Astro kiss.. he’s a bit weird, y’all suit each other well”

“I mean.. are you gonna kiss him?” “I don’t know hoe are you gonna?” “I might” “like I said. Y’all suit each other. Look, it doesn’t matter that much cosmo it’s whatever.” Cosmo turns off the burner and sits on the counter since the food is done, motioning for shrimpo to sit by him. “Y’all do that, bye” yatta somehow already has a full plate of food and leaves the kitchen. “Shrimpo, can I just- be serious with you for a second?” That kinda sentence is always scary. “Uhhh… yeah sure” “look- I know that we’re not really.. close or something, but I don’t… I’m worried about you I guess. So just… you can talk to me- or vent/ or whatever the hell, but I’m here if you need me okay?” Shrimpo just vacantly nods and gets down, scooping food onto plates until the clock strikes lunch time.

He moves the last plate to the counter and looks over to cosmo “hey uhh, is it okay if you serve them yourself today?.. I’m gonna go wait for.. the mains in the lobby” “alright yeah, tell Astro I said hi, sprout better come here the second he gets back for missing lunch, if he doesn’t then feel free to lash out. And yeah, I can serve it myself… bye!”

Shrimpo waves goodbye before walking out to the elevator and pressing the lobby button. In the quiet humming of the elevator his mind is far too loud. Thoughts buzzing around the edges of his skull, threatening to leak and bleed out his eyes as tears. What the hell was that? Why would he be worried? This is bad. All of it. Bad. Terrible. he feels terrible, worse than the panic and adrenaline of being chased by a twisted at one heart knowing he’ll die. This feels like he’s gonna die. Did he know? Did sprout tell him? Did he notice on his own?- was it that obvious?? He tugs his sleeves down further before walking out of the elevator. Trying to expel any of his emotions from his face and harden his expression into a scowl waking over to a bench and sitting. Waiting.

‘What the hell was that? What the actual hell was that? Why did that happen??? Why would cosmo say that- do that? What does he know?? Did sprout tell him??’ Thoughts jump back and forth, overlapping and forming a horrible cacophony of loudness in his head. The lobby is empty- so empty and so quiet he can hear his own breathing getting louder. Hear the tiny tap of his eyelids blinking. He can hear too much- too many tiny sounds there’s so way for him to focus on anything other than the choir of panic in his head.

He gets up from the bench and walks in circles around the tree in the center of the lobby. The feeling of tiny sharp blades of grass against the edge of his feet, just slightly taller than the sole of his sandals, is almost calming. The sound of his footsteps and the shadows cast on his face from the sunlight above the tree are much better than the sounds of his own, very alive, body. It’s a bit uncomfortable to be that aware of everything. He can’t help but miss those first few weeks only having two antennas, that’s when he picked up the habit of yelling because the world was so fuzzy he couldn’t hear himself talking sometimes. Sometimes when he doesn’t drink enough water- or when he goes too long with no food, his body can’t compensate for the missing sensory input and he’s plunged back into that world. It almost feels comforting to block out everything around him.

His head isn’t screaming at his anymore but he doesn’t want to sit back down on the bench, so he just slumps down and sits leaning against the tree. The AC turns on and the leaves begin rustling, like a big wind chime. It’s a small source of comfort, even though the grass is scratchy and he might be allergic.. he pulls out his phone and headphones (because he never leaves anywhere without them no matter what circumstance) and plays some music. His playlist is the kind that’s great for sitting in quiet rooms, it has songs with no words, ones that are basically just someone singing about something he can’t even tell what it means, it’s a good form of escape.

There’s a difference of when he’s using music to fill silence or to block out the world. Sometimes he’ll find himself turning it up so much it gives him a headache to block out the sounds of other toons talking about him. He can’t tell what they’re always talking about honestly, which means that it’s working. He barely caught the chime of an elevator coming up, pausing his playlist and hearing the chatter, turning it down and unpausing it so he can concentrate on whoever he’s talking to- but not to anyone else.

He gets up and makes his way over, walking behind Astro and shaking him “AAAGH!” “Ha, got you!” “Shrimpo NOT FUNNY. I almost died this run!!” “Oh please, you’ll be fine if you die one time- you’ll just pop back here early.” “Yeah but it hurts!! I’d like to avoid it if possible!!!” “Why are you even at risk to begin with?? With your stealth you should be the last target?” “Eugh…. I kinda dove in to stop the twisted from killing uhh..” he snaps his fingers trying to remember “Shelly…? I think anyways- whoever it was only had one heart” “alright I guess.. do you wanna hang out?” “Yeah sure I guess, I don’t think sprout is gonna join us though” “yeah, he’s supposed to be in the kitchen right?” “Yeah.. did you check by with cosmo when you got lunch?” “Uhh.. no, I helped make lunch with cosmo and yatta..” “oh okay, uhh.. so where do you wanna go?”

After a bit more awkward fumbling they agreed on hanging out in the lounge, making their way back into an elevator. “Astro do you… usually come back up on runs?” “Yeah of course? We usually come back up after someone dies so someone can wait for them to respawn at the lobby and kinda help them recover” well that didn’t feel good to hear. People didn’t do that when he died. I guess it makes sense- he’s always rude, doesn’t contribute much to anything.. yeah he wouldn’t wait for him anyways. “Why do you ask..? That’s kinda an odd question.” “No reason.. just curious is all” “… are you sure???” “Mostly! I mean I just don’t think I ever see you respawn in the lobby and I got confused!” He exclaims then shoves his headphones back wherever they came from because they’re getting annoying.

The elevator stops and they start walking to the lounge, usually shrimpo would be scared to talk about something he didn’t want people hearing but Astro makes him feel safe for some reason. “I don’t.. do that I guess? I just respawn however many times it takes to meet my floor quota.. my teams never go back for me so I kinda just thought that was normal” “shrimpo that’s not normal..” “well it is for me? I mean I wouldn’t stop my run for me either.” “Yeah but it’s just basic decency! It can’t be comfortable respawning that often shrimpo.” “I mean.. I’m getting better at my solo runs so it’s getting less..?” “I’m gonna talk to the other toons on our floor about this.” “Astro no- I’m not complaining okay?” “It’s a problem shrimpo! This isn’t an okay thing to do to another toon- regardless of- whatever!! Look I’m not gonna mention you directly if that makes you uncomfortable but I have to do something..”

They stop at the doorway for a second for shrimpo to catch his breath since Astro knows how exhausted he gets from walking sometimes. “..okay, just- don’t mention anything about me?” “That’s fine by me, cmon let’s watch tv with the others” Astro gestures over to the circus troupe, poppy, boxten, and Finn binging some show. Shrimpo nods and they make their way over to a couch where Finn’s sitting. “Hey y’all!! Hey shrimpy!!” “Don’t call me that.” Astro sits down and shrimpo follows. Unfortunately astro giggles and shrimpo already knows what’s gonna happen “why not, shrimpy?” “I swear to god.”

After astro and Finn finish laughing, astro starts talking again “so, what are we watching?” “Adventure time” “oh hell yeah” heads turn to shrimpo and he immediately turns on the defensive “IM ALLOWED TO LIKE A SHOW.” a few episodes in the chatter slows down and everyone’s back to just watching the show and making an occasional comment. Eventually somehow shrimpo and astro end up both under Astro’s blanket. It’s nice, warm and soft. Shrimpo never really noticed how soft Astro’s fur is, or the tiny wings he can feel Twitch every now and then. Finn just sits on the other end of the couch being a third wheel.

Eventually sprout and cosmo join the show watching party and bring a tray of hot chocolate, passing it out to everyone before settling down on the floor with their own drinks and a blanket. Shrimpo tries to focus on his hot cocoa instead of the smirk sprout is pointing at him and Astro. Cosmo, for once, is just minding his own business. Thank god. This moment is nice, the only think spoiling it- other than sprout- is that he knows it’s gonna have to end sometime. Astro is even actually wearing clothes for once, which is a very welcome change. specifically the hoodie and sweatpants from shrimpo’s room, which would just be sweet except a small peek under the blanket to confirm grants the fact that there’s a small glowing blue stain on it. So he didn’t wash it. Gross.

“I like your dress” Astro comments just quiet enough that nobody can hear exactly what he said over the tv. With that comment, that gentle tone of voice, suddenly whatever he was thinking about is replaced by this moment- by Astro’s voice. So warm and comforting it’s almost hard to remember how shitty of a day this was. It’s hard to find the right words to say, so he just snuggles closer to him. Clings harder to this moment. Looking at the tv playing scenes of Marceline and pb acting all domestic. He can’t help but feel a longing for that with Astro. Which is weird, because he knows that they end up dating later on. Why would he associate Astro with that??

Oh.

OH.

He looks over at sprout and cosmo giggling, sprout kissing him on the cheek, curled up into each other under a blanket, and that’s when the horrid realization hits him. Shit. It’s all he can do to stop whatever emotions are going through his head appearing on his face. He should push away from Astro, get up to get a glass of water and clear his head. But maybe- maybe he’s not quite ready to ruin this moment. He leans his head against Astro’s shoulder and takes a sip of his hot drink. This is nice. He should just let this moment be nice.

It takes a few minutes before another, far better realization hits him. He sets down his mug on a table and gets out his phone, texting Finn.

(FINN FINN FINN!!!!!1!)

Finn gets the notification and gets out his phone

(Why are we texting I’m right here?)

Finn looks over at shrimpo, who in response gestures to Astro

(I DONT WANT HIM HEARING US TALKING)
(ALSO I DONT WANNA GET UP)

(Okay well what is it?)

(I JUST REALIZED I CAN SAY FAG NOW)

(You didn’t know that already?)

Shrimpo turns off his phone and glares at Finn, who just shrugs and goes back to show watching. Astro looks over at shrimpo “what was that about?” “Oh nothing, just sending Finn a meme I found” “…okay then”

They don’t get up until a few minutes after cosmo and sprout leave to start dinner, that way everything can be put up sooner rather than later. It’s a bit sad for the moment to end but he is kinda hungry.. seeing as he didn’t really eat anything yet today. He forgot okay?

Todays dinner is spaghetti. He hates spaghetti. Especially not with the surprise when he sat down and started trying to eat that his hands suck at making the fork actually pick up the noodles. His frustration becomes even more transparent when Astro and Finn sit down, him fumbling around trying to get it to function. Finn is the first to make a comment “Uhh shrimpy.. you good there man?” Shrimpo angrily slams his fork on the table in frustration “DONT CALL ME THAT!! AND NO IM MOT OKAY THIS FUCKING FORK IS PISSING ME OFF.” Finn backs up a bit and takes a bite of pasta, chewing a bit before talking “well mine is working just fine. If it’s broken or something just grab a new one?”

Astro looks at him with those eyes. Those eyes that know a little too much about his personal life. Those eyes that know when to look down or maintain eye contact. “Are your hands bothering you Shrimpo?” Don’t make anyone worry Shrimpo, don’t hunt at anything strange happening because other toons are listening they’re all listening they’re all- “uhh. Yeah.” He grumbles out a reply before attempting fork again “would it be easier to use a different utensil? Or do you need like.. some help with that? I can’t really put myself in your shoes here so to speak” Shrimpo shrugs and then gets… an idea. See usually he doesn’t like anyone knowing anything about him that isn’t ordinary. He doesn’t like when people stare and remind him how freakish he is compared to the more ‘normal’ toons.

But this is an opportunity. Because nobody is paying any mind.. and this crowd would be the least likely to judge… one thing that never comes up about him is mandibles. Nearly every crustacean and especially shrimp have them very prominently. And he.. used to have external ones, but they were mostly cosmetic anyways. What no other toon than him knows is that he has a much longer inner set, it’s not quite uncomfortable to eat without them because he’s so in the habit, but every once and a while it makes a meal easier. This is a pretty good opportunity however.

He looks around for a second to gauge the table’s attitude, then lifts his plate to his face and opens his mouth slightly, moving the appendages from pressed on the inside of his mouth to sticking out. He looks to see if anyone is paying attention but kinda disappointingly Finn is just arguing about how sunfish are actually useful while Astro denies it. He puts his plate back down and just listens to them

“Sunfish are basically just a useless slab of meat!! All they do is eat and reproduce!!” “That’s not true and you know it!! They’re an important part of the ecosystem!!” “Oh please you could probably kill them off and nothing would happen!” “You take that back before I!-“ Shrimpo clears his throat, although his speech is a little less pronounced because of the mandibles getting in the way “what’s a sunfish?” “AGGHG” Astro jumps back and falls out of his chair and Finn doesn’t look surprised. “HA- GOT YOU FUCKER!!” Shrimpo and Finn giggle while Astro Gets back up.

“Shrimpo!! Why don’t you tell me you can do these things you do!!” “I thought it’d be funny” Finn giggles “it was!” They fist bump and Shrimpo starts actually eating his food. After a few bights he’s mostly done and stops to ask Finn a question, not before tucking back in his mandibles. “Hey- Finn, why were you not shocked? I wouldn’t think anyone has seen those before” “oh well- most shrimp have them, I kinda assumed because you have some other features it would carry over.” He stays quiet for a very intentional moment. “Also there was.. one time you.. showed me by accident.” He awkwardly dances around the subject because Astro is around. And he.. doesn’t know if Shrimpo wants him knowing about that day.

Shrimpo knows what he’s talking about almost instantly. He’s suddenly glad Finn knows him well enough to know not to mention what happened. “Oh- yeah I remember it… silly me..!” Astro looks confused but chooses not to say anything. After a few seconds of awkward plate scraping sounds Astro changes the subject “so Shrimpo, wanna run lines in my trailer?” “What.” “Y’know the Scott pilgr-“ “I know what you’re referencing it just doesn’t make sense. There isn’t even a trailer on any of the safe floors.” Astro stays silent for like a minute before talking “well.. wanna hang out after dinner then?” “Uhh.. sure I guess?”

—————————————————————-

After helping wipe down tables a bit they pile into the elevator, Finn leaving to his room and Astro and Shrimpo going to Astro’s room because it’s nicer. Shrimpo sits on a bean bag by the tv and Astro joins him, just kinda browsing for something to watch “so uhh.. what was that all about at dinner?” “I have no idea what you’re referring to” “Shrimpo. You looked pretty bothered by whatever it was- maybe it’d feel better to talk about it?” “I don’t… look- it’s not… it’s just!….” he sighs “it happened a long time ago.. and it’s kinda really embarrassing..” “trust me, I am the last person- or toon or whatever to judge you, I’ve got a few weird secrets myself!” Shrimpo giggles “alright alright.. it was a while ago, me and Finn.. were closer then.. we kinda drifted apart over time... “ Shrimpo runs his claw along the fluff that surrounds the edges of his antennal plates.

“I… I told you part of this story I think.. about my antenna?” Astro nods sympathetically. “Well.. after I decided to do that I kinda.. didn’t expect just now much blood there would be.. and the lack of any.. input? Anyways.. I was a bit off a mess- and I didn’t know what to do so I just ran to Finn’s room and hoped he could do something..” he takes a deep, albeit shaky breath. “He helped stop the bleeding but-“ he giggles halfway from a nervous response to covering up the tears forming in his eyes he’s sure make a difference in his voice. “But I think I threw up like five times- and might have been sobbing- I can’t really remember any of it funny enough!” He can feel hot tears trickling down his face- all he can do is try to make light of it. He wipes his face even though tears still continue to fall “embarrassing- right?” He wipes his face on the backs of his hands again and sniffles.

Astro opens his arms offering a hug and Shrimpo gladly accepts it, even if he wasn’t quite breaking down it was nice just to have someone there- someone that wouldn’t tell him hes lying or seeking sympathy.. someone safe. Someone he can just quietly be with and listen to them talking. “Shrimpo- it’s okay to be upset about it- it doesn’t just have to be an embarrassing thing- you where just trying to do something you thought would help..” Astro gently pets the top of shrimpo’s head in between his antenna. “It isn’t embarrassing, it’s just…. Awful that you felt like you needed to do that to feel normal… I get the feeling of wanting to- or changing yourself for other people.. “

After a few minutes Shrimpo let’s go but stays next to Astro under his blanket. “Thanks… for that.” “Look- when I say I’m here for you I mean it okay? I’ll always be here.” Shrimpo snorts and chuckles “yeah except for like half the day when you’re fuckin around with the other mains?” “you know what I meant asshole.” “Yeah yeah I know… so uhh, I told you a secret… tell me the one you were talking about” Shrimpo smiles in exaggerated innocence “why are you blackmailing me.” “Oh cmon I’m curious!! I tell you like everything you ask about me!… mostly!” “Okay okay I get it… uhh- yeah pick on a scale from ‘tame’ to ‘holy shit what’ on what you wanna know..” “obviously the furthest that scale goes! Surprise me gay boy”

“alright uhh.. so as you know- yeah you do know because you where also one of the first ones- they where still figuring out some stuff about the whole ‘making a cartoon design a real living creature’ thing” “yeah, except me of course because I’m perfect obviously” “yeah okay tranny. Anyways, dandy and I where both made with too much ichor, dandy has an unstable amount- or I guess more of a concentration, you can tell because dandy’s ichor looks identical to the raw stuff we have to extract to keep the facility running- while yours looks more like a really dark red.” Shrimpo nods along “also his is thick and viscous- basically just raw ichor and less like blood. Mine is far less concentrated- but also a few.. actually a lot of things went ‘wrong’ with my production. You probably know all the mains are- to some extent based around some sort of bug. Like I’m a moth, dandy a butterfly, bobette has a lot of bee features?” “Yeah, it’s kinda hard to tell with some of y’all tho”

Astro nods and takes a deep breath just because he kinda forgot to breathe “so- the reason they did that was because insects are very adaptable- and also it was just an easy way to relate the cast to each other at the start.. I actually think that you where kind of a trickle off of that idea.. anyways- my.. character was supposed to be a caterpillar to match with dandy- but that didn’t work out because I kinda came out… like.. imagine a centipede crossed with a wet cat and an analogue horror. So they had to… improvise. Clean up misshapen limbs and try to get me presentable for a show. So they gave me little shells to put over the damp black fur where it wouldn’t be covered normally..” he takes off his hat and runs his.. hand? Guys my descriptions will make sense at the end of the chapter near with me.- runs his hand? Through his hair

He then takes shrimpo’s hand and guides it through his hair. “See? It’s always just a bit damp- it’s kinda like human hair- except it’s how my body expels excess ichor most of the time.” “Most of the time?” “Yeah- once a month I have to let it bleed out of my eye.” “What” “oh I haven’t gotten to that part of the story… alright uhh, the fur on my face used to be blue like on my arms, but while I was y’know, doing my thing in the cocoon I kinda didn’t get to finish… so uhh, that’s why I have too many arms… and I have to wear a mask on my face- at first just for the show but.. I think it’s more comfortable now” “ohhh, well that’s cool. Can I see?” “Uhh… sure why not”

Astro pulls up his hair and unbuckles a strap, carefully taking it off, underneath his face just kinda looked like a black blob with two mildly unnerving eyes and a mouth with no lips. “Oh.. ew! But cool!” Astro laughs, a gooey and kinda husky sound, and then presses the mask back on and reattaches it. “Yeah- so that’s kinda my weird backstory…. Yep.” “Cool cool, uhh…. wanna watch stranger things?” “Oh alright sure”

——————————————————

Dear diary,

I think today was a good day. I can’t really tell lately, I hung out with Shrimpo a few times and we watched adventure time!

I don’t really know how to feel about Astro, he’s nice. He’s probably better for Shrimpo than I was. I can’t help but think the reason he likes him better is because of our fight. I’m sorry Shrimpo, I really am. He’s probably just denying my apology to spare my feelings. Goodnight diary!! Sorry I didn’t write in the morning!!!

Chapter Text

Ok so number 1: sorry for anyone who clicked on this and got excited for a new chapter 😟 and number 2: as you probably read the chapter title and summary I am unfortunately abandoning/ discontinuing this Fic, and I might not make any more content in a long while. You might’ve noticed that over time updates got less frequent, started having less and less plot, and overall just got worse, I kind of fell out of love with the story I’m writing- it has little to no actual story and the characters are VERY mischaracterized and all kind of blend into how I act and speak. I’ve been considering doing this for a while now but I’m making the final decision because the thought of working on this is becoming dreadful and I genuinely just don’t like it anymore. I’m not going to delete this for those of you who do like it though, because I fell like that’s not fair to anyone who’s read along this far.

On a positive note- this is NOT my last post on this website and I do plan to do a rewrite with updated headcannons, more consistent art with the chapters, and an actual storyline. Especially with school having started a few weeks ago and everything obviously going on for me to write this kinda stuff 😭 I think it’s best I take a step back from all this and come back with something better.

I won’t be orphaning this just because Uhh, y’all my homies I’m not gonna abandon you like that- but I will not be returning to this like ever. (Except for the rewrite) uhh yeah. Have a nice life y’all