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It Has Come To Our Attention You Are Useless Bisexuals

Summary:

When Sally learned that Gotham is a "godless land," she and Percy moved there for a fresh start. Somewhere safer to spend the winters than directly under Olympus's nose.
When she meets Catherine Todd, the two women find they have a surprising amount in common. Friendship leads to family.

 

January entry for Year of the OTP 2025: sharing clothes | first kiss

 

Catherine tried very hard not to laugh. “Is there a point to this?”
Sally leaned in to stage whisper in her ear. “It’s best to just let them get it out of their systems.” Catherine grinned, trying to ignore the warmth of Sally’s breath against her neck.
“This!” Jason pointed at Sally like a lawyer presenting damning evidence. “This is exactly what we’re talking about!”

Notes:

First fic for the ship! 🎉🎉🎉
This was originally going to be for the Rare Pair event in February, but I got *really* into this nonexistent ship and I've already written like four fics for them in a month, and realized that the first one matched the prompts for YOTP '25 so...strap in lmaoo

CW in end notes as usual.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Friends

Chapter Text

“And I can’t regret moving to Gotham, but it also just…” 

“Sucks?” 

“Yeah.” Sally huffed a laugh. “Gotham really sucks. Sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I’m aware.” Catherine cradled her almost-empty mug, unsure if she should reach out. Not everyone found comfort in touch. Especially ones who met through the kind of support group they had. 

Sally wiped her eyes. “I’ll be fine. I just need a nap. I’ve dealt with a dozen school secretaries, I’ll deal with this one.” 

Catherine frowned. “You need more than a nap, Sally.” 

“We all need a lot of things, but a nap will help.” Sally sat back in her chair, sniffing. “I’ll finish up the dishes and lay down for a bit before I have to pick Percy up, and figure out a plan when I wake up.” 

Catherine knocked back the last of her tea, making a decision. “I’ll take care of the dishes, Sally. You go sleep.” 

“You’re my guest, Catherine. I invited you over for tea so we could relax, not so you can listen to me cry and do my housework.” 

“You said you want to be friends, right?” Catherine stood, pushing back her chair. “Let me be a friend.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“Sally.” She swallowed. “It’s been a long time since I could be a good friend. Let me be one now.” 

Sally held her gaze for a long moment, green eyes still swollen, then nodded. “Alright. Thank you.” 

Sally padded away to the bedroom, and Catherine carried their empty mugs to the sink. She turned on the hot water, tossing her sweater over the back of a kitchen chair and braiding her hair while she waited for the sink to fill. 

When the basin was full enough, she began sinking dishes in the soapy water. Her mind drifted as she began to work. Sally had seemed so hopeful for this school, part of their new start. Catherine had no idea why the Jacksons had decided Gotham was the ideal place for a new start, but she wanted them to find it. If anyone deserved it, it was those two. Some of the things she’d described in the support group…well, they all had their stories, and more they weren’t willing to share even at Safe Haven. 

Catherine had only met Percy a couple times, but he seemed like a good kid. Anyone would struggle in school with a background like that. Jason had struggled, and he didn’t have the diagnoses Percy did. Catherine had seen the news reports and heard Sally’s stories of boarding schools and long years with Gabe. She’d also seen the way he and Sally lit up at the sight of each other, and the joy in his face when he came home bragging about some new skateboarding move he’d learned. She’d seen how hard Sally and Percy both wanted to make this new home work. 

Catherine finished the dishes and moved on to the rest of the kitchen. It was soothing, these days, to tackle a mess she knew she could manage. Even if everything else was a hopeless tangle, she had the energy and the ability to sweep a floor or wipe down a counter. Not every day – getting clean hadn’t erased the cycles of pain that had led to her using in the first place – but it was better. 

With the kitchen done, she moved on to the bathroom. On the other side of the wall, she could hear Sally faintly snoring. Good. Catherine hadn’t been sure she’d actually fall asleep with another person in the house. She tried not to reorganize anything, just tidied and scrubbed. By the time that was done, she’d worked out a list in her head. 

Washing her hands one last time, she found a notebook and pen, then sat down at the kitchen table and selected a contact in her phone. 

Sally shuffled out of the bedroom, her eyes widening when she saw the kitchen. “Catherine, you didn’t–” 

“Did you have a good nap?” 

Sally hesitated. “Yes,” she said softly. “Yes, I did. Thank you.” 

“Good. I called Jason’s school, Gotham Central High. I know you’re going to do everything you can to keep Percy at City High, but if you need an alternative, you have the info. He’ll know someone there, and so will you. They see a lot of families in rough situations, and they’ve been pretty good with Jason. It’s a public school, but you know by now what Wayne funding does.” 

Sally sat across from her. “Catherine. That’s…thank you.” 

She cleared her throat, pushing the notebook across the table. “It sounds to me like you spend a lot of time taking care of other people, Sally. Let some of us help you, alright?” 

Sally nodded, looking down at the school information, written in Catherine’s spiky script. 

Catherine pushed back her chair, pulling on her sweater. She undid the braid, which had gone frizzy while she worked. Tucking the hair tie back in her pocket, she checked the clock. “I need to leave now. Jason gets out of school in a few, and we need to make a grocery run before dinner. Just shoot me a text if you end up deciding to give Central a try. I’ll make sure Jason knows to keep an eye out.” 

“Catherine. Thank you. Again.” 

Catherine tried to keep her smile casual. This shouldn’t feel like as big of a deal as it did. “I, um…I don’t like Cathy. I know I told you that. But my friends used to call me Cath.” 

Sally’s eyes were as bright as stars. “Cath, then. I’ll text you, Cath.” 

 

Chapter 2: To Roommates

Summary:

Catherine is struggling, and this time Sally reaches out.

Notes:

CW in the end notes

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“We’ll be alright,” Catherine said. “We always are. It just…”

“I know. It’s hard.” 

“It fucking sucks.” Catherine huffed out a laugh. 

Sally took a sip of tea from the chipped mug. “We should move in together.” 

Catherine looked up, wondering if she’d misheard. “What?”

“I’m running myself ragged between work and school and getting Percy settled. You’re not making rent. You and Jason need to stay off the streets, and I could use help around the house. You like to clean and I like to cook. We could pool rent, share the chores, and make things easier on both of us.” 

Catherine tugged at the sleeves of her sweatshirt. “Sally, I’m not– you and Percy need stability, and I can’t offer that.” 

“Jason needs stability too. He and Percy are already getting along like a house on fire.” 

Catherine swallowed. “I’ve been clean for eight months, Sally,” she said. Her voice sounded tired, even to her. “I’m barely holding down a shitty job, and I’m still figuring out how to be a mom again. You’re a good friend, you really are, but I can’t ask you to take care of two more people.” 

“Cath. I know what I’m offering, and I know what I’m getting into. Percy and I have our own baggage. You’ve already been helping us so much. You’re not just a good friend, you’re my best friend. I want you to be safe and happy. Let us help each other. For Jason’s sake.” 

Catherine took a deep breath. “We’d need to talk to Jason and Percy.” 

Sally nodded. “There’s things we’ll need to discuss. Stuff about Percy’s dad and my late ex that you should know. Things I couldn’t talk about at Safe Haven. But I think we make a good team, Cath.” 

“We do, don’t we?” Catherine smiled, her eyes a little watery as she managed a laugh. “We have to talk to the boys before I agree to anything. But I’m willing to give it a try if you are.” 

The boys were fully on board. Two weeks later, the Todds moved into Sally and Percy’s apartment. Catherine fell asleep that night with a smile on her lips, to the sound of Sally’s soft snores and their sons laughing in the kitchen.

Notes:

CW: swearing, brief mentions of past drug abuse and domestic abuse, poor self-esteem, brief references to homelessness.

 

One more chapter to go, longer than this one! I'll probably post it this evening or tomorrow morning :) That one will actually have Percy and Jason in it lol

Chapter 3: To Lovers

Summary:

Percy and Jason are *suffering* and decide it's time their moms did something about it

Notes:

No CW just fluff :D

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“A- hem !” Percy clapped his hands together, shoulders back and expression uncharacteristically serious. “You may be wondering why we’ve gathered you here today.”

“A little,” Catherine agreed, raising her eyebrows.  

“It has come to our attention that you are very dumb,” Jason announced. 

Sally’s eyebrows went up as well. 

“Very, very smart!” Percy added quickly. 

“Tough as nails,” Jason nodded. 

“Literally the best.” 

“We love you so much.” 

“Uh-huh.” Catherine tried very hard not to laugh. “Is there a point to this?” 

Sally leaned in to stage whisper in her ear. “It’s best to just let them get it out of their systems.” Catherine grinned, trying to ignore the warmth of Sally’s breath against her neck. 

“This!” Jason pointed at Sally like a lawyer presenting damning evidence. “This is exactly what we’re talking about!” 

“Please–” Percy pressed his hands together. 

“For the love of all that’s holy–” 

“--and unholy–” 

 “--we are begging you to put us out of our misery–” 

“--and kiss already.” 

Sally froze. The temperature of Catherine’s face went up by about ten degrees, and she stared at the boys. “I’m sorry?” 

“You should be sorry!” Jason wailed. 

“This should not be our job!” Percy clapped a hand on the other boy’s shoulder. “Do you see what you’re doing to this poor young boy?” 

“I wake up and you’re mooning over each other at the breakfast table,” Jason said. “I get home from school and you’re giggling over each other’s bad mom jokes!” 

“I come out to ask about homework and you’re in each other’s laps!” 

Catherine’s face somehow got even warmer. That had in fact happened last week. Completely innocent, of course. She was cold and Sally suggested they curl up under the blanket together, but her cramps had been really bad, and–

“Cath is my best friend,” Sally said quietly, and Catherine fixed her gaze on the far wall. She really didn’t want to hear this. 

“Mom.” Percy held out a hand to stop her. “You share a bedroom and you are wearing each others’ clothes right now.” 

“You almost kissed in the hallway two days ago.” 

“I don’t know what kinda excuses you’ve made up about being best friends, or living together, or not wanting to make us uncomfortable, but it’s time to stop.” 

Catherine couldn’t look at Sally, and Sally didn’t seem any more inclined to look at her. She’d done her best to be subtle, to be respectful, to keep to good boundaries, but clearly more had showed through than she thought. Christ, this was embarrassing, and now Sally was going to think she was a creep, and everything would be ruined. 

“I didn’t mean to make anyone uncomfortable,” Sally started.

“We’re comfortable ,” Jason said. “We just want you to stop dancing around it so we can stop living with a soap opera.” 

“Mom.” Percy’s voice levelled out. “It’s okay. Jason and I are both okay with it. Cath is great, and you deserve someone who’s gonna be great to you.” 

Jason shrugged. “Sally’s really cool.” His cheeks turned a little pink. “You both try really hard to take care of us, but we want you to be happy, too.” 

“And you’ve both got a crush that can be seen from space, so just…let me stop thinking about it. Please.” 

There was a silence that lasted seconds and eternity. Catherine balled the cuffs of her sweatshirt in her fists, unable to look anyone in the eye. “I’m a grown woman,” she said, her voice tight. “A crush doesn’t mean I’m going to make Sally uncomfortable in her own home, Jay.” 

“You–” Sally’s voice cracked. 

The boys stared them down, arms folded like twin enforcers. 

Sally took a deep breath, like she was bracing herself. “Cath, that wouldn’t make me uncomfortable.” 

Percy circled a hand like an order to keep going. Catherine felt like her stomach had been filled with snakes.

“Oh.” 

“I–” Sally cleared her throat, and took another deep breath. “I would actually be very happy if you did.” 

Catherine actually had no idea what she was feeling anymore. At some point during Sally’s sentence, her brain seemed to have shut down, every sense focused on one thought. She looked from Jason to Percy. Jason gave her a short, certain nod. 

Catherine turned and looked at Sally for the first time since they’d sat down. She was watching Catherine so closely, her lips slightly parted, breath shallow, dressed in Catherine’s worn-thin Gotham Knights sweatpants and that soft-as-butter green cardigan that was the color of her eyes. She was the most beautiful person Catherine had ever met. 

Fuck it. 

Catherine leaned forward and kissed her. 

Sally’s lips were a little chapped, and they both tasted like coffee, and Catherine could hear a sharp clap as the boys high-fived a few feet away. 

But Sally kissed her back, and that was the only thing that mattered. It was quick, light, and Catherine watched warily as she sat back, watching for some sign that she’d made the wrong call, but Sally had kissed back. She smiled, soft and warm as the hours they’d spent cuddling under that gray blanket. 

“Well,” Sally breathed.

“Finally!” Jason shouted. 

“Alright, glad you two got that sorted, we’ll be at the library until four o’clock, please don’t do anything too gross.” Percy headed for the door, grabbing his coat and Jason along the way. 

“Percy, you don’t–” 

“Yes, we do. Goodbye.” 

The door slammed shut, then reopened as Jason sprinted in to grab his own coat. He stopped just long enough to glare at them one last time. “Sally is the best thing that ever happened to us, so don’t mess this up. Sally, I will kick your butt if you hurt my mom. Got it?” 

“Got it.” The bright smile on Sally’s face belied her solemn tone. 

Jason’s glare melted into a grin. “Cool.” He raced back out the door, slamming it behind him. 

Notes:

A great big shoutout to the Birdwatchers discord. SallyCath and all ensuing fics are the result of Dee misreading a message I sent about two different rarepairs, and then a delightful brainstorming session in the crossover channel.

I love these two together, and there's literally nothing about them, so *please* feel free to write inspired-by fics or comment to let me know if you post anything about the ship!

 

Sneak peek at the next fic I'm drafting for this little family

 

Bruce: Is that...Percy Jackson, known child terrorist? In my Gotham??
Jason: Guess I gotta kick Batman's ass so he doesn't arrest my little brother
Bruce: Where are your parents???
Percy: Wouldn't you like to know, bat boy

Notes:

CW: vague references to past domestic abuse, references to past drug use and addiction, low self-esteem, poverty

 

I love Paul, I really do, but the idea of these four as a little family popped into my head and it will not leave.

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