Chapter Text
Hana. We require immediate assistance.
wednesday?? what's wrong??
is this about enid leaving the interview??
Her arm is severely re-fractured. She's refusing medical facilities.
We need somewhere private. Secure. Away from cameras.
shit
ok i might have something
remember when i first got cast and went through that paranoid phase?
Your purchasing habits are irrelevant to the current situation.
actually they're extremely relevant
i may have panic-bought a safe house
completely off grid. no one knows about it
not even my agent
sending coordinates
key's under the loose brick by the back door
fully stocked. first aid kit in main bathroom
how bad is she?
The injury is concerning. But her psychological state is...
Rowan's interview tactics were deliberately provocative.
that absolute bastard
ok get her somewhere safe. we'll handle everything else
you two just take care of each other
hey that's what friends are for
even void girls need backup sometimes
now GO. we've got your backs. we'll be there when you're ready
The city rushed by in distorted streaks of gold and orange, the windshield fracturing the encroaching night into fragmented pieces. Each streetlamp flickered across the glass like a camera flash — bright, invasive, inescapable. Would there ever be a moment devoid of thoughts about cameras, angles, and eyes tracking their every move?
Wednesday’s hands gripped the steering wheel, her muscle memory taking over as her mind tangled itself elsewhere, too ensnared to command the simple mechanical motions of driving.
The car was filled with the scent of rain-damp leather and something metallic, something sharp. Blood, maybe.
She let her gaze drift sideways.
Enid’s cast pressed against the passenger window, bone-white except for places where red seeped in, dried into dark, branching veins. It resembled art, composition. And though Wednesday was the type to document pain — to analyze it, dissect it, render it into something useful — she found herself unable to do so. Yet that thought lingered.
Enid hadn’t spoken since the rooftop.
She hadn’t reacted when Wednesday pulled her up, hand firm against the small of her back, guiding her step by step down the stairwell. She hadn’t protested when eased into the car, her limbs moving not with exhaustion but with a distant compliance, as if she had left herself somewhere else, somewhere safer.
The sound of bone and plaster colliding with stone replayed in Wednesday’s mind, an echo trapped in the hollows of her skull. Crack. Thud. Breath hitching. Silence. The details looped with a perfect, terrible clarity: the spray of red against concrete, the flicker in Enid’s eyes, pupils wide and distant, as if she were seeing something that wasn’t there.
Even now, she carried the ghost of that moment.
In the rigid way she sat, body braced as if any movement might cause more fractures in her bones. In the manner her fingers traced the cracks in her cast, slow and repetitive — an unconscious ritual, or perhaps not unconscious at all. Maybe she was checking. Making sure she was still real, still whole. Ensuring there was something left to feel beneath her fingertips.
And her breathing — God, her breathing. Shallow, uneven, too quiet. Like someone unsure if they wanted to exist in this moment at all.
Wednesday tightened her grip on the wheel.
There were words for this, she supposed. Things one was meant to say: comfort, reassurance, hollow promises that everything would be fine. But none would fit. None would settle right on her tongue.
Besides, Enid wouldn’t believe them anyway.
Because Wednesday wouldn’t, either.
The GPS chirped. Right turn ahead. A tinny, detached voice, oblivious to the moment. To this.
Hana's instructions echoed in Wednesday's mind, sharp and fragmented, overlapping in a rhythm that clashed with the hum of the tires on the wet pavement. Key under loose brick (don’t tell production). First aid in the main bathroom (fully stocked). No cameras within a 100-foot radius (Thing already swept the perimeter).
A small sound — a breath — escaped Enid's throat.
Before Wednesday could react, her fingers clenched against the leather steering wheel. It was an instinctive, useless response to something she couldn’t fix. The sound wasn’t quite pain, nor was it entirely conscious; it lay somewhere in between, an echo of a break that hadn’t fully finished fracturing.
Nausea hit her like a punch to the gut, unfolding in slow, twisting waves. (How fitting. Her own body betraying her when Enid needed her—when she should be able to—)
But that wasn’t—
No.
Focus on what mattered.
Enid’s breathing was shallow, too rapid. She was resurfacing from whatever void Rowan’s words had pulled her into, like someone gasping for air after surfacing from deep water, uncertain if they wanted the air at all.
Her posture had changed — shifted inward, curling at the edges. Smaller. Less visible. (Less perfect for the camera.)
“Wends?”
It was barely a word — fragile — a sound that shouldn’t have pierced through the engine's hum, yet it did. The sound slipped past steel and leather and cold air, reaching the part of Wednesday she kept buried beneath precision and reason. It cracked her open.
She didn’t turn. Couldn’t. The road demanded too much — gravel, ice, darkness stretching endlessly ahead — but her hand moved without hesitation, without thought. It found Enid’s knee, a solid point of contact. Steady. Present. Here.
“I’ve got you, mi pequeño lobo.”
The words rasped out, rougher than they should have been, scraped raw by everything still lodged in her throat — everything she couldn’t quite swallow down. But perhaps analysis didn’t matter. Not here. Not now.
Maybe what mattered was the way Enid’s fingers curled around hers, slow and searching. They tangled together, as if she were holding onto something real, something that wouldn’t slip through her grasp.
Maybe this was what mattered.
The safe house emerged from the darkness like something half-formed — solid enough to exist, but blurred at the edges, as if reality itself wasn’t quite convinced it belonged. Weathered stone, frost-cloaked windows, ivy curling up the walls in a slow strangulation. The kind of place that didn’t want to be found.
(Unless you knew exactly what to look for. Unless you needed somewhere to disappear.)
The car groaned as it rolled over the last stretch of gravel, the undercarriage barely clearing the uneven path. Then came the branches — low-hanging fingers dragging against the roof with dry scrapes. Enid flinched.
Just barely. A flicker of movement, something most people wouldn’t even notice. But Wednesday had never been most people.
The engine shut off with a final shudder.
Silence.
Not the peaceful kind, but the waiting kind — pulled too thin and pressing in from all sides. Only their breathing filled the car: Enid’s too quick and shallow, while Wednesday’s was measured, steady against the sharp pain coiling in her gut.
She flexed her fingers against the wheel, testing for steadiness. Decent enough. Manageable. (Though she really was going to end Yoko for this. Slowly. Painfully. Maybe with an itemized list of her suffering for dramatic effect.)
Neither of them moved.
The space between them felt precarious — like an overfilled glass, its surface tension barely holding, just waiting for the smallest shift to send everything spilling over.
Enid moved first. She took a breath and said, “We don’t have to—”
Her voice wavered, uncertain, as if she questioned whether the words were truly hers. Yet, she held onto Wednesday’s hand, her grip tightening slightly. It wasn't quite desperate, but—
“If you’re not feeling well enough to—” She paused, her breath growing thinner. “I know your stomach is still—”
It was a mistake. The concern in her voice, the softness, and the way she slightly curled inward hinted at her worry.
“Stop.” Wednesday turned to her, just enough to meet her gaze.
Enid’s fingers twitched but didn’t pull away. Her wide, exhausted eyes scanned Wednesday’s face, searching for damage, for unspoken truths.
So Wednesday offered her something else.
A small, firm squeeze of her hand — grounding.
“Mi pequeño lobo.”
The words emerged quietly, a bit raspy, as if she was trying to press them into the air between them, hoping they would take root.
Enid swallowed, her throat working around words left unsaid. Slowly, carefully, she squeezed back.
The tension in her shoulders lingered, much like her cast pressed too tightly against the window. Yet the way she held onto Wednesday’s hand now hinted that she wasn’t ready to let go just yet.
“You need medical attention.” Her tone was softer than intended, with too much space between the words, as if something fragile might slip through the gaps if she wasn’t careful. “And I need—”
To keep you safe. To make sure you’re real. To hold onto something solid while the world tries to morph into someone else’s art piece.
But she didn’t say any of that.
“—to get you inside before Thing implements his full security protocols.”
This earned her a response — an exhale, quiet and uneven. Almost a laugh. Almost. “Did he really—”
“Install motion sensors in the trees?” Wednesday felt a tightness in her throat, uncomfortable and unnamed. “Yes. Along with what he claims is a ‘tactically optimized’ blanket fort in the living room.”
Silence followed, then a genuine laugh escaped Enid, small but genuine, slipping past her lips before she could contain it.
Her fingers flexed within Wednesday’s grasp — not gripping, not exactly holding on — but testing the space between them. Seeking warmth, comfort, or simple contact without it slipping away.
“Of course he did.”
The words barely reached Wednesday, but they carried shape and texture, a whisper of Enid’s usual brightness, even if dulled at the edges. It was enough.
It was too much.
Something painful and unfamiliar coiled tight in Wednesday’s stomach, and for once, she couldn’t blame it on food poisoning.
Getting out of the car was… unpleasant. Each shift in position sent fresh waves of rebellion through Wednesday’s gut, her insides twisting in protest at the mere suggestion of movement.
But that was irrelevant. Unimportant. Ignore it.
What mattered was Enid.
Wednesday watched as Enid swayed the moment she stood, her good hand shooting out to catch the car door before gravity could pull her down. The cast on her arm hung awkwardly and useless, blood flaking onto the gravel in uneven trails — except under the glare of the headlights, those trails appeared disturbingly precise. Too intentional. Like something arranged, composed, captured for effect. Like someone was still watching.
Without thinking, Wednesday moved, wrapping an arm around Enid’s waist, steadying her, anchoring her.
The contact held them both upright — Enid’s body warm and solid against her side, grounding in a way that pushed Wednesday’s pain to the background, reducing it to white noise beneath the more urgent task of holding on.
“I’ve got you.”
Three simple words. A statement. A promise.
Enid’s only response was to press closer, her head tucking against Wednesday’s shoulder. Her body yielded in a way that wasn’t quite surrender, but something nearby. Trust. Exhaustion. The beginning of walls wearing thin.
The loose brick by the back door was exactly three steps left of the porch light, tucked behind thorny roses that — of course — Thing had added for “tactical advantage.” Retrieving the key required maneuvering, but Wednesday didn’t loosen her hold. Not when Enid’s breathing still hitched every other inhale, not when her good hand twisted into the fabric of Wednesday’s shirt as if letting go might mean vanishing entirely.
The key turned easily. (Thing’s paranoia evidently extended to well-oiled locks.)
Wednesday didn’t push the door open immediately.
She could feel it—Enid’s pulse where their bodies pressed together. Quick. Uneven. The only betrayal of the anxiety she was desperately trying to suppress.
“We don’t have to stay.” Wednesday’s voice came out quieter than intended, carrying something she hadn’t meant to expose. “If you need somewhere else, somewhere that isn’t—”
“No.” A single word. Immediate. Certain. Then softer, hesitant, “Just… don’t let go?”
Small. Raw. Like admitting it made everything else too real.
Wednesday swallowed hard, her throat aching. “Never.”
Hana’s house exhaled around them as they stepped inside — all old wood and settled quiet, the kind that felt more attentive than empty.
Motion sensors activated, casting pools of amber light through carefully placed lamps. It was precisely random. Thing, obviously — his brand of paranoia included aesthetic considerations. The glow illuminated Enid’s cast, transforming the dried blood into something almost metallic. The fractures appeared deeper under the light, more pronounced — like a map to a place neither of them wanted to visit.
Wednesday led them forward, past Thing’s “tactical” blanket fort (crafted from black silk, adorned with void-approved sigils, and displaying an architecture that suggested excessive planning) toward the bedroom. Each step felt like wading through fog, Enid's weight pressing heavier against her side as exhaustion caught up to them both.
The room was exactly as Hana had promised: a queen bed, east-facing windows, and security measures at paranoid levels. Blackout curtains stirred from hidden air vents, and—because Thing never did anything halfway — something that suspiciously resembled a tripwire gleamed near the closet.
Wednesday barely glanced at it. “Here,” she murmured, guiding Enid to sit on the edge of the bed. “I need to get the first aid kit.”
Enid’s hand caught the hem of her shirt before she could pull away. Not tight. Not desperate. Just there, holding on.
“Don’t—” The word cracked, raw at the edges. “Just… give me a minute?”
It was as if letting go would mean losing something neither of them could name.
Wednesday hesitated. Then, carefully, she tangled her fingers in Enid’s curls, gently brushing through the wild knots that had formed during their escape.
“Thirty seconds,” she said. A compromise. A tether. “That’s all I need. Knowing him, broken bones are probably color-coded.”
This earned her a small sound — a flicker of life. “Red for severe trauma?” Enid’s voice wobbled, but something bright was trying to surface beneath it. “Or did he go with void black for maximum aesthetic?”
“Considering the neon labels I glimpsed earlier…” Wednesday traced a slow path down Enid’s cheek, catching a tear neither of them would acknowledge. “I suspect his system is more… chaotic.”
Enid leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment. Her next breath came steadier, deeper.
“Thirty seconds,” she whispered. “Then come back?”
“Twenty-nine now.” Wednesday’s thumb brushed away another tear. “Count them for me?”
She didn’t wait for an answer.
The bathroom cabinet was exactly as predicted—Thing’s “EMERGENCY MEDICAL INTERVENTION (LEVEL 3)” kit stood like a shrine to preparedness. Bright labels screamed for attention: pink for “comfort-related injuries” (decorated with heart stickers), neon green for “potentially void-induced trauma” (featuring skull symbols), and then…
Wednesday's hand stilled on a yellow tag.
“WHEN CHAOS MEETS MEDICAL NECESSITY,” it read in Thing’s meticulous script.
Well. That was probably the one.
Her stomach groaned again, but she ignored it.
Focus. The cast needed—
(The sound it made against concrete. Sharp. Brutal. The way blood had spattered—)
No. Not now. Medical supplies first. Everything else could — and would — have to wait.
Twenty-six seconds. That’s how long she was gone. Efficiency mattered; lingering would mean acknowledging feelings she wasn’t ready to confront.
When she returned, Enid had curled inward, her broken arm cradled against her chest, her body a closed-off thing. Protective. Defensive. Clinging to something that was already beginning to crack.
“Let me see.”
Wednesday sank onto the bed beside her, carefully placing the first aid kit — everything arranged in neat, methodical rows. Thing’s paranoia had led to an alarmingly thorough selection: antiseptic, sutures, trauma dressings, butterfly closures. And, for some reason, a vacuum-sealed pack of lavender tea labeled as “psychological stabilization.”
Enid didn’t move.
Her breathing was uneven again, shallow, as if she were surfacing from something, her mind still stuck back on that rooftop, in that moment.
“I don’t—” She swallowed hard. “It’s not as bad as it—”
“Mi pequeño lobo.” Soft. Steady. A thread to follow back.
A pause. Then, “You should be resting,” Enid whispered. “Your stomach is still—”
“Irrelevant.”
Wednesday’s hands moved with careful insistence, peeling Enid’s arm away from her chest. The cast looked worse up close — cracks spread like delicate spiderwebs across the surface, blood soaking into the plaster, blurring signatures and doodles into something unrecognizable.
Something unreadable. Something that tightened Wednesday’s throat.
“This will need to be replaced.” The words came cool and clinical, a disguise. “The structural integrity is severely compromised, as is your radius.”
The moment softened — like watercolor bleeding into paper.
Amber light caught floating dust motes, turning them to gold, making the airsafe. Everything slowed to just this: the careful rustle of bandages, the warmth of hands against skin, two bodies breathing in quiet sync.
“Your temperature regulation is concerning.”
Wednesday pressed her palm against Enid’s forehead, a brief clinical assessment— except she didn’t move away. She let the contact linger longer than necessary, skin against skin, warmth meeting cold. Enid made a sound, soft and low, something near a purr.
“You’re still too cold.”
“Mhmm.” It was barely a response, more breath than word. Enid’s eyes fluttered closed, her body loose, pliant, content. “But you’re warm.”
Wednesday’s throat tightened. A strange, unfamiliar pressure settled beneath her ribs, creeping up her spine.
Her own discomfort — still present but fading, dissolving into something smaller, manageable. Something that let her focus entirely on this: contact, warmth, the slow rhythm of Enid’s breathing.
“Arms up.” The words came quieter now, measured. “I need to check for additional injuries.”
Enid complied without opening her eyes, her body responding instinctively, movements slow and heavy with fatigue.
The shirt lifted, fabric brushing over bruised ribs — older ones this time, yellowed at the edges, the kind that came from routine strain, from the endless wear and tear of someone who threw herself at the world and expected to survive it.
Wednesday’s hands moved with practiced precision, her fingers tracing each bruise and tender spot, cataloging without applying pressure. She was assessing, not pushing, mindful not to exacerbate any existing pain. Every touch was deliberate; every movement was careful.
When she found a particularly dark bruise just beneath Enid’s ribcage, the girl made a small noise — something between discomfort and a sigh — that sent a sharp pang through Wednesday’s chest.
Her touch softened instinctively. “Sorry, mi pequeño lobo.”
The words came out softly, barely audible against the room's hush. Wednesday leaned in, pressing a light kiss to Enid’s temple—gentle, fleeting, yet lingering in a way that conveyed more than words ever could.
“Almost done.”
Enid hummed in response, the sound warm and drowsy, filled with contentment. She tilted her head against Wednesday’s shoulder, settling in as though they had shared this moment countless times before — as if it was simply the way things were.
“You called me that earlier,” Enid mumbled, her voice thick with fatigue. “In the car. Twice.”
Wednesday’s hands hesitated against warm skin for just a moment before continuing their careful inspection. “Did I?”
“Mhmm.” Enid shifted, pressing closer, her nose brushing against the curve of Wednesday’s neck in the smallest, sleepiest nuzzle. “I like it.” A breath. A pause. “Sounds soft when you say it.”
Something inside Wednesday stirred — deep, quiet, and unexpected. A warmth she didn’t know how to grasp, only that it existed, and she didn’t want it to fade away. Her fingers began to trace gentle patterns against Enid’s skin — not searching for injuries, just… connecting. Remaining.
“You need rest.”
She pressed another kiss, this time into Enid's wild curls, inhaling the fruity scent of her shampoo that filled the air between them — hers, now somehow sharing space in Wednesday’s shower.
“And proper medical attention in the morning.”
“Stay?”
Wednesday wrapped her arm around Enid’s waist, careful and protective. “Of course.” Simple. Certain. Unshakable. “But you’ll need to let me finish treating your arm first.”
Enid made a soft sound of protest but adjusted just enough to comply, keeping her head resting on Wednesday’s shoulder. “Too comfy here.”
“Mm.” Wednesday’s free hand found its way to Enid’s hair, fingers threading through tangled curls with slow, gentle strokes. “Nevertheless.”
The first aid supplies Thing had prepared included a sleek, efficient sling — of course it was. Wednesday adjusted it with meticulous care, each movement precise — never rushed, never careless.
When Enid’s breath hitched, Wednesday stilled. Paused. Waited. Only when the tension eased did she continue.
“There.” The final strap secured, she pressed a soft kiss to Enid’s shoulder, only a whisper of lips. “That should stabilize—”
She didn’t finish her thought. Enid turned, leaning closer — caught in that liminal space between wakefulness and sleep, searching for warmth, comfort, and contact.
Her good hand curled lightly around the front of Wednesday’s shirt, fingers pressing against the fabric with drowsy insistence. “Can we just…” A yawn interrupted her words, muffling them. “Just stay here for a minute?”
Wednesday’s throat constricted. An unfamiliar sensation washed over her — something intense and nameless. Without thinking, her arms encircled Enid completely, offering a sense of enclosure and stability. One hand continued to weave gently through Enid's wild hair.
“As long as you need.”
The amber light enveloped them, pooling across the bed and casting their intertwined forms in gold. Outside, the wind brushed against the windows, branches lightly scraping the glass — but the sound barely registered.
What mattered was this.
The slow, even rhythm of their breathing. The warmth of Enid tucked against her chest. The quiet certainty that, for once, they were safe.
Settling in was an exercise in precision. It involved a slow, careful negotiation of limbs and injuries — a give-and-take of shifting positions, adjusting angles, ensuring nothing twisted awkwardly or pressed where it shouldn’t.
The bed was softer than Wednesday preferred. It was too plush, with too many pillows (an outcome of Thing’s tendencies — his paranoia extended to “optimal recovery conditions”).
But she didn’t mind. Not with Enid’s warmth against her side. Not with everything feeling slightly dreamlike, the amber glow softening the edges of reality.
“Here.” Her voice softened again, rounding at the corners as she guided Enid to lie back, arranging pillows to support her injured arm. “This should help with—”
“Optimal elevation for injury management?”
Enid's drowsy mimicry of Wednesday’s clinical tone elicited a small sound from her — almost a laugh. Then came the light, insistent fingers at her wrist.
“Need void girl cuddles,” Enid mumbled, barely awake yet reaching for her.
A pull deep within Wednesday’s chest stirred quietly. She allowed herself to be drawn down, shifting carefully until they fit together like pieces of a puzzle — seamless, inevitable.
“Your body temperature is still concerning.” She reached for the blanket Thing had left at the foot of the bed. Black, of course — though a glimpse of pink lining caught her eye as she unfolded it. “Though your color is improving.”
“Mhmm.” Enid turned into her immediately, her nose pressing against Wednesday’s collarbone, her injured arm carefully cushioned between them. “‘Cause you’re warm,” she murmured, her voice blurred with exhaustion. “Like my own personal void-powered heating system.”
Wednesday’s throat tightened, an unnamed yet pressing feeling settling low within her, somewhere between her ribs. Her fingers found their way back into Enid’s curls, resuming the slow, absent-minded path they’d traced before — soothing, reassuring, familiar.
“That’s not scientifically accurate.”
“Don’t care.” Enid nuzzled against her neck, her breath warm against Wednesday’s skin. “Still true.”
Quiet settled over them like snow. Wednesday adjusted the blanket, ensuring it covered them both properly, tucking it a little tighter around Enid’s shoulders — the spot where she always ran cold.
Each movement was intentional, measured, designed to keep her warm. To keep her here.
“You’re doing the thing again,” Enid mumbled, her words blurring together with sleep.
Wednesday's fingers stilled in Enid's hair. “What thing?”
“The…” A yawn interrupted her train of thought. “The little circles. In my hair. When you think I’m falling asleep.”
There was a pause. She hadn’t realized she did that, hadn’t noticed the habit forming or the pattern emerging in quiet moments like this.
“Does it bother you?”
“Mm-mm.” Enid's good hand found the front of Wednesday’s shirt, her fingers curling and twisting into the fabric — not gripping, just holding. “I like it.” She murmured against Wednesday's collarbone. “It makes me feel safe.”
The words settled between them, delicate as frost and fragile as first light. Wednesday pressed a soft kiss to Enid’s forehead and let it linger.
“Then I won’t stop.”
Time loosened. The world faded at the edges, leaving only the quiet rhythm of their breathing and the soft whisper of the wind through the trees. Amber light softened everything, brushing against silver-threaded blankets, catching in Enid’s hair that spilled across Wednesday’s chest, turning strands to spun copper.
“Wends?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.” Enid took a slow inhale, fingers tightening slightly in the fabric. “For… everything.”
Wednesday swallowed, the feeling in her chest — too much, too vast, too unknown. She curled her arm more securely around Enid’s waist, pulling her closer — impossible, but still, closer.
“Sleep, mi pequeño lobo.”
A soft sound—contentment and warmth — slipped from Enid as she burrowed in, her breathing growing steadier and slower.
Wednesday stayed awake a while longer, tracing slow patterns against Enid’s scalp, her eyes tracking the shifting shadows across the ceiling. Exhaustion hovered at the edges of her consciousness, waiting and pulling, but—
She wanted to stay just a little longer. To memorize the feeling of Enid against her chest, the quiet, unguarded trust in how completely she had surrendered to sleep. The way they fit together felt inevitable, as if designed.
Eventually, the warmth and steady rhythm pulled her under too. Her last thought was that Thing had been right about the tactical advantages of weighted blankets—though probably not for the reasons he intended.
They slept.
And for once, neither dreamed of cameras, compositions, or perfectly framed moments of pain. They just existed.
Tangled in the gentle dark, while the rest of the world stayed far, far away.
URGENT UPDATE - SUPPORT ROTATION SCHEDULE
Organized by Eugene Ottinger
PLEASE MAINTAIN ORGANIZATION AND CLARITY
Morning Shift (6AM - 12PM)
Security Detail: Bianca & Hana
BB: We'll establish perimeter protocols. No cameras within 100ft radius.
HH: Gotta reinforced safe house security. Nobody gets past us 💪
Nutrition & Comfort: Yoko
YT: CLAIMING ALL FOOD SHIFTS!! No more cursed burritos I PROMISE 😭
WA: Your culinary redemption arc is noted but concerning.
General Support: Divina & Ajax
DF: Aesthetic maintenance is CRUCIAL for healing 💅✨
AP: Bringing emotional support blankets!!
WA: That is not a recognized medical intervention.
Security & Monitoring: Thing
T: 👍
EO: Thing has installed 17 new security cameras and booby-trapped the perimeter
WA: The tripwire system is excessive but acceptable.
- All shifts to maintain strict privacy protocols
- No social media posts about location
- Emergency contacts list updated
- Code word system in effect
YT: Can we name the operation?? 🐺
DF: OPERATION VOID WOLF!! 🖤✨
WA: This is not a covert military mission.
EO: Too late we already made badges
- Medical supplies inventory required
- Security protocols need standardization
- Limit aesthetic interventions
- Yoko requires supervision in kitchen
EO: Void girl is letting us help?? 😭
HH: Growth 👏
WA: This is purely logistical optimization.
DF: Sure buddy whatever you say 😘
OPERATION VOID WOLF SUPPLY CHECKLIST
[YOKO - NUTRITION DIVISION]
• REDEMPTION BURRITOS (COMPLETELY SAFE THIS TIME I SWEAR)
• Emergency ramen stockpile (the fancy kind!)
• Void girl approved snacks (all black foods)
• Chaos comfort foods (everything pink)
• 17 different types of tea (Morticia's recommendations)
• Anti-nausea meds (just in case my cooking still needs work)
[HANA - ENTERTAINMENT DIVISION]
• Complete horror movie collection (Wednesday approved)
• Wii console (crucial for recovery)
• True crime documentaries (Wednesday needs to be entertained too)
• Cute animal videos (for emergency serotonin!!)
• Board games (but not Monopoly - we're avoiding violence)
• Spotify playlist: "When Void Meets Chaos" 🖤💕
[DIVINA - COMFORT & AESTHETICS]
• Luxury black silk pillows (void approved)
• Pink fairy lights (for Enid's space DUH)
• Scented candles (Wednesday banned the lavender ones...)
• Weighted blankets (in BLACK obviously)
• Essential oil diffuser (void girl pretends to hate it)
• Aesthetic polaroid camera (for documenting soft moments IMPORTANT!!!)
[EUGENE - ORGANIZATION & LOGISTICS]
• 47 different spreadsheets (color-coded)
• Security protocols manual (Thing approved)
• Emergency contact list (organized by threat level)
• 12 backup hard drives (JUST IN CASE)
• Anxiety medication (for me mostly)
• Coffee maker with timer (my survival depends on this)
[AJAX - ???]
• Collection of weighted blankets (different weights for different moods - better than Divina's)
• Emergency origami paper (stress relief)
• Three types of stress balls
• Random assortment of plushies (hidden from Wednesday)
• Vintage horror movie posters (for aesthetic)
• Juggling equipment (???) (for distraction???)
[BIANCA - MEDICAL & SECURITY]
• Professional first aid kit (NOT the basic kind)
• Backup medical supplies (everything triple stocked)
• Pain management options (all prescriptions verified)
• Compression gear (for both of them because STRESS)
• Ice packs (aesthetic black ones for Wednesday)
• Security cameras (Thing already installed 27 more)
WEDNESDAY'S NOTES:
• The quantity of pink items is concerning
• Yoko requires supervision in kitchen
• Security measures acceptable but excessive
• Emotional support plushies are unnecessary
• ...but approved for Enid's comfort
GROUP NOTES:
DF: The void girl approved plushies!! 😭
YT: Progress!! Also my burritos are SAFE now!!
HH: Someone document this character development
WA: This discussion is irrelevant to supply logistics.
BB: Don't worry. We got your backs.
The lock had barely clicked into place when the door suddenly erupted open.
It didn't ease ajar or creak; rather, it flung wide, as if it had glimpsed Yoko Tanaka and decided that resistance was futile. Yoko had that effect — on rooms, on rules, and on anything that suggested limitation.
In half a second, she was through the threshold, a force of nature wrapped in cracked leather and combat boots that somehow made no sound — a habit ingrained by hospital security guards who’d trained her well, albeit unintentionally. Her hood slipped back as she yanked it down, revealing fresh purple streaks in her hair, still damp and chemically potent, doomed to ruin her sheets later. But that was a problem for another time.
“Alright—” She elongated the word, her voice light and teasing. “Where’s my favorite patient—” She paused deliberately before adding, with mock solemnity: “Enid! Did you die yet?”
Before the door could even bounce back, Divina made her grand entrance, burdened with what could only be described as a full snack aisle of processed sugar and questionable life choices.
Plastic bags rustled and shifted, creating an almost percussive series of crinkles. She moved like a person barely surviving an avalanche of junk food, arms loaded with neon-colored packages that threatened to spill at any moment.
“I bring offerings!” she announced, slightly breathless, as she maneuvered into the room. A complicated shuffle ensued, featuring a sharp elbow jab, a high knee, and impressive footwork to avoid slipping on a glossy magazine that definitely shouldn’t have been on the floor.
She shot a glare at the aesthetic choices surrounding her. “Hana really needs to reconsider this whole ‘modern minimalism’ thing,” she grumbled, adjusting her grip on what appeared to be a lifetime supply of gummy worms. “Would it kill her to install a proper drop-off zone? Or at least—” She pivoted sharply to avoid what had to be the world’s most impractical end table. “—stop putting random furniture in the exact worst places?”
Just as the chaos of her arrival began to settle, the doorway filled again.
Ajax appeared, arms laden with board games — so many board games. Stacked so high that his face was barely visible over the top, he navigated the room like a victorious conqueror.
“And I bring distractions!” He grinned from behind the precarious pile, his expression promising equal parts entertainment and disaster (with Ajax, those two often came as a package deal).
The coffee table let out a resigned groan as Ajax dumped his latest acquisition onto it. A tower of board games wobbled, swayed, and somehow maintained its balance, defying physics, logic, and common sense.
At the apex, Exploding Kittens sat like a crowned champion, while the lower levels housed a mix of classics, absurdities, and questionable choices. Monopoly was present (against all prior rulings after The Incident), alongside a box featuring tentacles on the cover — no title, no branding, just an ominous-looking container suggesting regrets lay within.
From the doorway, Hana observed the chaos, her expression epitomizing long - suffering patience. Not surprise, nor frustration — just the quiet acceptance of someone who had witnessed this exact scene unfold one too many times.
Her gaze swept across the disarray: Divina’s junk food avalanche, Ajax’s teetering monument of disorder, and Yoko with her relentless, uncontainable energy.
“You all need to lower your voices before Wednesday murders you where you stand,” Hana said, her tone dry as kindling. The warning was genuine, but the faint curve of her mouth gave her away.
Not that it mattered. No one was listening.
On the couch, Wednesday radiated quiet menace. Her mere stare could have sent lesser beings fleeing, her dark eyes tracking every movement like a predator sizing up prey. There was no immediate threat — just cold, calculated observation, a silent assessment of how much effort it would take to dispose of multiple bodies.
The slight tilt of her head conveyed enough. It didn’t promise violence, but it certainly didn’t rule it out either.
Yoko, unfazed as always, honed in on her target.
She crouched beside Enid, sharp eyes scanning every inch of her face, concern masked beneath layers of forced levity. “Oh my god, you look like a ghost.” After a moment, she corrected herself, “Like, a cute ghost. But still. A ghost.”
Enid attempted a grin. It came out lopsided, exhaustion tugging at its edges, but the effort was there. Still, a familiar spark flickered in her eyes as she lifted her good hand in a weak wave.
“OooOOooOOOooo.”
“Not funny.” Yoko’s eyes narrowed, though the playful glint lingered.
“Extremely funny,” Enid countered, smug — until she moved.
It was small — barely noticeable. A shift in weight, a subtle change in posture. But then it happened. A sharp inhale, a slight wince, a fleeting expression of pain crossed her face too quickly for most to detect. Most people.
Wednesday, again, was not, and had never been, most people.
Every muscle in her body tensed, her spine locking into place as a cold, precise awareness enveloped her. She registered everything in seconds: the way Enid’s fingers curled ever so slightly, the near-imperceptible tightness in her jaw, the subtle shallowness of her breath that set off alarms in Wednesday’s mind.
Fix it, control it, and stop it.
But Enid, as always, was three steps ahead.
Her gaze darted to Divina’s mountain of snacks and then to Ajax’s teetering tower of board games. Wednesday could practically hear the reckless gears of Enid’s mind clicking into motion.
And then… that look.
A weapon in its own right—an artful blend of wide-eyed innocence and barely concealed scheming. “I want to sit with everyone.”
“No.”
Enid gasped, clutching her chest in theatrical offense. “How dare you.”
Wednesday remained unfazed, an immovable force bracing against the impending disaster that was Enid.
“Enid, you literally almost passed out earlier. Maybe—” Hana tried, attempting to be reasonable. But she never stood a chance, for Enid then unleashed her heavy artillery:
The puppy eyes.
A devastating attack, honed to perfection for maximum effect. The slight downturn of her mouth, the widening of her big, hopeful eyes, the tilt of her head that implied absolute devastation in response to Wednesday’s heartlessness. It was ridiculous, beneath her dignity, and should not have worked.
Yet, Wednesday’s fingers twitched — a microscopic tell.
Enid saw it. Everyone saw it. In the quiet battle unfolding on the couch, this tiny, involuntary movement was an unconditional surrender.
Wednesday’s jaw clenched, her teeth grinding together in resistance.
Then, finally: “…Five minutes.”
Victory. Pure, radiant, unquestionable victory.
It illuminated Enid’s face in a way that felt almost unfair — like sunlight breaking through storm clouds, warmth where there should have been cold. Her good arm shot up in triumph, exuberant and entirely too pleased.
“Ten minutes,” Ajax mused from his spot on the floor. “Minimum.”
Three words—a death wish in sentence form. The temperature in the room dropped as Wednesday turned her full attention on him, a look that could stall chemical reactions. Suddenly realizing he had a powerful instinct for survival, Ajax became deeply invested in reorganizing the board game pile.
Hana sighed, the sound of someone familiar with this routine and aware of where it was headed. “I mean, she’s already on the couch. As long as she—”
But it was too late. One moment, Enid was sitting quietly next to Wednesday; the next… gold hair, a wide grin, and a blur of motion.
Suddenly, she sprawled across Wednesday’s lap, her limbs draped there as if this were a perfectly rational decision rather than the equivalent of poking a venomous creature with a dull stick just to see what would happen.
Time didn’t so much stop as hesitate; the universe itself needed a moment to process what had just occurred.
Yoko was the first to recover, her eyes shining with a diabolical delight, reminiscent of a cat discovering a particularly foolish new species of bird.
Divina’s mouth opened, then shut. It opened again. This — this — was unprecedented. Someone who always had the perfect comment at the ready found herself lost in unfamiliar territory, staring at the scene as if witnessing a verified miracle. For a brief, flickering moment, she genuinely considered the risk of taking a photo. (Murder. That was the risk.)
Hana, her voice far too smooth and knowing, let out a low, appreciative, “Oh my god.”
Wednesday? Nothing. Just stillness — absolute, undisturbed composure.
She didn’t react. She didn’t shove Enid aside or acknowledge the fact that a werewolf was on top of her. Her fingers continued to thread absently through Enid’s hair — when had that started? Even she wasn’t entirely sure. But her hand didn’t stop.
More telling was that she didn’t look at Enid. She didn’t dare, because if she did, she would see the way Enid’s fingers curled into the hem of her sweater, not pulling or grasping, just holding—an unconscious, instinctive gesture seeking warmth, seeking her.
Something shifted, deep and wordless.
“Damn,” Yoko whispered, pressing a hand to her mouth as if witnessing something sacred. “Void girl has fallen.”
“Oh, completely,” Hana agreed, grave as a funeral, though her eyes sparkled with barely contained joy. “There’s no coming back from this.”
“I give it two weeks before she starts wearing pastels,” Divina murmured, tapping her chin in mock calculation. “Three before we catch her smiling in public.”
Ajax, still valiantly trying to catch up, glanced between them, utterly lost. “So, uh… this is a thing now?”
The look Yoko gave him could have stripped paint.
“Oh, this has been a thing,” she said, gesturing toward Wednesday’s still-moving fingers in Enid’s hair like it was Exhibit A in the trial of the century. Then she let out a slow, appreciative whistle. “But that?” A pause. A grin. “That’s new.”
Wednesday remained unmoved. No reaction, no acknowledgment — just the slow, absent motion of her fingers combing through Enid’s golden strands, and the near-imperceptible way she shifted as Enid adjusted, making space, ensuring comfort.
(And if her other hand had drifted protectively to rest over Enid’s stomach, no one was foolish enough to point it out.)
Then came the shift. A change in pressure. A shift in gravity.
One moment, she was still. The next —her head turned, a horrifyingly deliberate motion. Dark eyes locked onto Yoko’s, cold an d depthless, slow and promising violence.
The room, for one excruciating beat, held its breath.
Then she spoke, her voice a quiet, sharpened thing — the kind of quiet that made smart people run.
“If you speak of this again—” each syllable disturbingly calm, methodical, lethal, “—I will salt the earth of your bloodline so thoroughly that nothing bearing your name will ever rise again.”
(Somewhere, several generations of Tanakas shuddered without knowing why.)
Yoko simply beamed. “Oh, absolutely worth it.”
Divina, practically vibrating, pressed a hand to her chest. “You’d curse entire lineages? That’s… so poetic.”
Wednesday didn’t so much as blink. “Biblical.”
“Damn.” Hana spoke, breathless with admiration. “If I ever fall in love, I want it to be that feral.”
A muscle in Wednesday’s jaw twitched. The room hovered on the edge of actual murder. Then—
A shift. Minuscule. Barely noticeable. But she felt it. Knew it.
Enid had twitched.
Not a flinch or discomfort, but something. A ripple beneath the surface. The slight tension in her shoulders, the slow inward curl of her posture, the fingers tightening — almost unconsciously — around the fabric of Wednesday’s sweater.
Everything else faded away: the commentary, the idiocy, the fraying patience. All of it dissolved under the singular, inescapable certainty that something was wrong.
She focused. Fully, instantly, devastatingly.
“Are you okay?”
Enid blinked slowly at her, as if shaking off a distant dream. It took a moment for her gaze to settle, to regain focus, to comprehend the present.
“Yeah.” Her voice was soft, laced with sleep, and disarmingly genuine, evading all rational defenses. “Just… cozy.”
(The audacity of that word. The unfairness of how it nestled in Wednesday’s chest, warm and intrusive, as if it belonged there — a sense of belonging, a feeling of home—)
No.
Before that thought could take root, before anyone noticed Wednesday's fingers momentarily stilling in Enid’s hair—
A sharp crack broke the moment. Hana clapped her hands once, her eyes gleaming, heralding chaos.
“Alright!” The declaration rang out like a warning. With a triumphant plunge, her hand reached into one of Divina’s abandoned snack bags, emerging with an object that hadn’t seen daylight since at least 2010.
The Wii console gleamed like an ancient relic — white plastic, blue trim — a promise of entertainment or utter chaos (or probably both, knowing this group).
Wednesday exhaled slowly.
In the depths of her mind, the calm, structured evening she had planned — an evening of medical monitoring — crumbled into dust.
Ajax inhaled sharply, his eyes widening in childlike wonder, as if gazing at a mountain of candy for the first time. Pure, unfiltered joy radiated from him, unrestrained and contagious — horrific.
Wednesday’s stomach tightened. Dread. Immediate, suffocating dread.
“Oh my god.” The words escaped him, steeped in nostalgia, almost knocking him off balance. His hands reached toward the console, reverent and desperate, as if it might vanish if he didn’t make contact immediately.
Yoko was quicker. Her finger shot out with such force it could have punctured the space-time continuum. “Do you have Mario Kart?”
“And Wii Sports.”
The mere mention ignited Divina’s full-body reaction — an unapologetic squeal, hands dramatically pressed to her chest. She turned to Hana as if witnessing a divine act.
“You absolute saint.”
But none of that mattered. Because Enid.
(Oh. No.)
The shift was immediate. Electric.
One moment, she was soft and drowsy in Wednesday’s lap, all relaxed edges and quiet warmth. The next—
Light. Motion. Pure, reckless energy.
Enid’s body responded instantly, her ocean-blue eyes widening, igniting with a kind of unrestrained enthusiasm that history had shown often preceded terrible decisions.
Wednesday felt it—the undeniable awakening in Enid’s muscles. The shift in her posture — exhausted, injured, technically under doctor’s orders to avoid overexertion — and yet she radiated movement.
The calculations had already begun. Wednesday could see Enid's brain whirring with numbers, angles, and the precise limits of what she could manage with one hand.
(Medical alarms. Urgent. Red flashing lights. Emergency protocols engaging.)
And then — Pling.
The Wii startup chime echoed through the room like a forgotten war anthem, a sound so deeply embedded in the fabric of childhood that it carried significance—a summoning of ghosts. Even Wednesday, usually immune to sentimentality, felt a flicker of recognition.
Then—again. Pling. Bright. Crisp. Undeniable.
A signal flare from the 2000s, a relic of a time when online play required LAN cables and losing to your best friend at Mario Kart felt like a personal betrayal.
The screen flickered to life, casting an ethereal blue glow across the coffee table, making the clutter appear almost sacred.
For one suspended moment, nobody moved.
Then, everything changed.
Not with a dramatic thunderclap or a world-ending moment — instead, it was quieter and subtler, like a shift in air pressure before a storm, like the way animals sense an approaching change. Ears twitching, heads lifting, instincts kicking in before conscious thought can catch up.
Enid was the first to react.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Urgency surged through her voice as she lunged — one-handed — into the snack pile, scattering chip bags and nearly toppling Divina’s precarious cookie tower in her frantic search for a controller. Now.
“Nobody start without me!”
Ajax, mid-chew, blinked at her as if he had just witnessed something supernatural. His brow furrowed—mild concern, perhaps, though to be fair, that was also his default expression.
“Uh. Dude. Your arm—”
“I have another one.”
The certainty in her voice left no room for disagreement. She wrenched a controller free, clutching it to her chest like a vital lifeline, her fingers curling possessively around the buttons. Mine. No one can stop me.
Hana, as always, quickly adapted.
Without hesitation, she snatched a controller from the pile and spun it effortlessly in her palm, the motion so fluid it felt more like a declaration of war than a simple gesture.
“Alright, plebeians.” She stretched the word, tilting her head just enough to make it utterly infuriating. “Prepare to be humbled.”
Wednesday exhaled sharply through her nose. The sound was barely audible but conveyed both unimpressed disdain and a deep, personal offense.
“Do not narrate.”
Hana predictably ignored her.
The screen faded to black before lighting up in that unmistakable, nostalgia-soaked blue. Brightly colored racers spun in endless loops — Mario, Luigi, Toad, Yoshi — all waiting to be chosen, like childhood memories frozen in time.
Hana didn’t even glance at them, hesitating not for a moment. Her cursor moved with unerring precision.
Straight to Cosmic. Straight to Rosalina.
The selection confirmed with a gentle chime—
And that’s when Yoko froze.
“…Oh, hell no.”
Hana didn’t even blink. Casually and effortlessly, she adjusted her grip on the controller, her fingers flexing like a duelist ready for a draw. “Problem?”
Yoko took a slow, measured breath, her nostrils flaring slightly as she assessed the situation — calculating, considering the structural integrity of the room. (Was the drywall worth it? Would she be arrested for putting Hana through it? Would it even be worth it?)
Then, she moved.
With her elbows to her knees and her body angled forward, Yoko’s entire posture conveyed a clear message. Interrogation mode: engaged.
Enid recognized this stance. She had seen it before — backstage when an overzealous paparazzo got too close, again when Yoko discovered that Bianca had eaten the last of her imported dark chocolate, and her personal favorite: when some cocky freshman attempted to explain the real meaning of Twilight to her. (That freshman transferred schools the following semester.)
“You did not just pick Rosalina,” Yoko said, her voice deceptively calm.
“I did.” Hana’s smirk was the kind that could end diplomatic relations and spark actual wars. “And I’d do it again.”
A crack appeared in Yoko’s expression.
Not anger. Not grief. Something worse. Something deeper. Something personal.
Ajax, still busy peeling the wrapper off his popsicle, glanced back and forth between them, a slow, dawning horror spreading across his face. This — whatever this was — felt far beyond his emotional pay grade. He squinted, tilting his head as if changing his angle might somehow clarify the unfolding disaster.
“Uh… is this, like, an issue?”
“Oh, it’s an issue.”
Enid didn’t hesitate, her eyes practically glowing with the thrill of impending chaos. A girl who had just discovered the perfect entertainment for the evening. And because she was Enid, driven almost entirely by impulse and questionable decision-making, she shrugged and added, “I mean… Rosalina is kinda cool?”
The air tightened around them, a steel trap clamping down — sharp, final, inescapable.
This wasn’t just an awkward pause. It was something worse, as if the universe itself had momentarily hesitated, recalibrating and reevaluating whether reality needed to be rewritten in response to such a statement.
Wednesday closed her eyes. Inhaled. Exhaled. Slowly, measured. She was already mourning her fallen soldier before the battle had even begun.
Yoko turned so quickly it was a miracle she didn’t sprain something, her entire body coiling as if preparing to launch herself across the room.
Hana, who had knowingly detonated this social landmine, twisted with equal enthusiasm to face Enid.
Meanwhile, Wednesday’s fingers moved through Enid’s hair in slow, eerily methodical strokes, her touch absurdly gentle for someone who had already accepted inevitable destruction.
"You absolute fool," she muttered, her voice soft yet filled with deep resignation. A woman bracing for impact.
Enid blinked, suddenly acutely aware of every gaze in the room. Yet, she didn’t seem entirely displeased. If anything, her expression resembled that of someone who had accidentally pressed the wrong button in a video game and was now fascinated by the cutscene unfolding before her.
"What?" She half-laughed, still convinced this couldn’t be that serious.
Hana reached out solemnly, as if bestowing a medal of honor. "Thank you. Thank you for your service."
But Yoko was not in a giving mood. She looked stricken — no, worse — betrayed.
Her hands rose, shaking her head slowly, staring at Enid because here she was, watching her childhood best friend cross enemy lines. Uncertain whether to argue, grieve, or combust on the spot.
"You did not just say that."
Now fully aware she had stumbled into something deeply generational and possibly sacred, Enid shifted slightly in Wednesday’s lap, lifting both hands in mock surrender. "I— I was just saying she’s, like, interesting?"
"She’s a fascist, Enid."
"Oh my god," Hana groaned, tilting her head back in physical pain. "She’s not a fascist—"
"She controls the cosmos." Yoko's voice sharpened as her hands gestured wildly for emphasis. "She rules over an entire species of Lumas, and somehow, no one questions the absolute monarchy—"
"That’s not what monarchy is," Hana interrupted, sitting up straighter and preparing for battle. "It’s more than that. Rosalina is objectively the most powerful Mario princess. She ascended to her throne not by birthright, but through her owncapabilities."
Yoko’s fingers splayed in pure, exasperated disbelief. "She was handed a goddamn galaxy," she snapped. "That’s not merit, Hana. That’s nepotism in its purest form."
The passion in their voices completely captivated Enid. Despite her injuries and all logic, she leaned in, enthralled, her eyes darting back and forth like a spectator at a high-stakes courtroom drama unfolding in real time.
"Okay, wait, but she was given the galaxy—"
"She wasn’t given it," Hana interjected immediately, sounding both insulted and personally offended on behalf of Rosalina. "She inherited it through divine fate."
Yoko let out a sharp, incredulous laugh, shaking her head. "Divine fate? That’s just nepotism with extra steps."
Despite being injured and fully aware she should be milking the situation for sympathy, Enid couldn’t help herself. "I mean…" she hedged, biting back a grin. "She does have a point, Hana."
Hana turned so quickly that Enid flinched.
"She is the protector of the cosmos," Hana declared, and in an instant, the room’s energy shifted. This was no longer banter or an argument. This was a reckoning.
A closing argument in a trial that would determine the fate of history itself.
"Without her, Mario Galaxy as we know it wouldn't exist." Her voice was steady and unwavering. Holy. "The universe would have collapsed. She is not just a princess; she is a goddess."
Yoko’s expression remained unchanged — unimpressed, unmoved, deadpan.
"She’s just Space Barbie with a staff."
Hana gasped, but not a typical gasp. It was a full-body, how-dare-you sort of gasp—excommunicated from the church, disowned from the family, a gasp that declared you have sinned.
"You did not just say that."
"She has zero qualifications—"
"She commands the Lumas—"
"She doesn’t even do anything!" Yoko's voice rose. "All she does is sit in her little floating library and look ethereal—"
"BECAUSE SHE IS A CELESTIAL BEING—"
"SHE’S LITERALLY JUST A BLONDE CHICK WITH A MAGIC WAND."
Wednesday remained entirely still amid the chaos, her fingers absentmindedly threading through Enid’s hair, her gaze flat and resigned. “I should have seen this coming.”
Of course, this was happening.
There was no stopping it now. No intervention swift enough, no force strong enough to drag Yoko and Hana out of the depths of whatever this had become. They were entrenched, fully locked in a psychological battle, fighting not just for dominance but for historical accuracy.
They weren’t simply debating anymore; they were citing. Past Mario titles were being dissected with the academic rigor of a doctoral thesis. References flew across the room like artillery fire. Ethics had somehow entered the discussion, leading to an actual moral debate over the free will of the Lumas unfolding before Wednesday’s eyes.
It was exhausting. It was deranged. It was destined to last all night.
And then, in the midst of it all, as Hana, mid-sentence, prepared to launch into a passionate breakdown of Rosalina’s parallels to Greek goddesses, Yoko, without a word, reached down.
She scrolled, clicked, and picked Waluigi.
Hana’s mouth snapped shut.
Enid froze, her body going statue-still as if any movement might disrupt the delicate, volatile equilibrium that had just settled over the room.
Even Ajax, still trying to catch up and grasp the deep-rooted sociopolitical conflict that had just been raging, froze. He glanced around as if he had somehow wandered into the second act of a play with no prior context.
Wednesday merely raised an eyebrow. “Bold strategy.”
In that instant, the world reset.
The room, previously alive with impassioned philosophical discourse, plunged into stunned silence.
The echo of Yoko’s controller was a challenge, a gauntlet thrown down in the midst of a battlefield already scarred by intellectual devastation.
Hana’s entire posture shifted; her debate mode transformed into something far more personal. Her grip tightened on the controller, a movement so precise and intentional it suggested she was seriously contemplating whether to turn it into a blunt-force weapon.
Enid, utterly captivated, curled up slightly — adjusting her position in Wednesday’s lap, fully committed to maintaining her front-row seat for whatever was about to unfold.
Ajax, still several emotional layers behind and observing the carnage like a lost tourist, shifted uncomfortably, his popsicle now half-melted and entirely forgotten in his hand.
As for Wednesday? She simply watched. Silent. Intent.
Not for future leverage. Not even for blackmail. No, she committed this moment to memory because — objectively, factually — this was one of the most unhinged social interactions she had ever witnessed. And she had once infiltrated an underground taxidermy auction.
Completely unfazed by the tension radiating from the group, Yoko stretched her arms overhead in a long, languid motion, her spine cracking with a series of slow, deeply satisfying pops. She exhaled, allowing the silence to linger as the sheer magnitude of what she had just done settled in.
Then, at last, she delivered the final blow.
“Yeah,” Yoko said, her voice brimming with the satisfaction that only comes from knowing she had just dropped an atomic bomb in the middle of an argument and could now sit back to enjoy the ensuing chaos. She leaned back, entirely at peace with her choices. “That’s right. I picked Waluigi.”
Hana scoffed, the sound sharp and heated — deeply personal. Her brows twitched enough to reveal that this was no longer just an argument; it was war.
She turned to fully face Yoko, legs folding beneath her, her posture tense. The controller in her lap suddenly felt irrelevant.
“Are you serious?”
Yoko's lips curled into a slow, obnoxiously smug smile. “Deadly.”
Hana sputtered, her hands flexing — hovering, uncertain, as if she couldn’t decide whether to grab her controller or use it as a blunt force weapon. “You fought me on Rosalina, but you’re just gonna sit there, in my presence, and pick Waluigi?”
Yoko nodded.
Hana’s jaw clenched. “You’re actually deranged.”
“You don’t understand him, Hana.” Yoko’s tone shifted—less teasing, now carrying a conviction beneath the surface. It was the cadence of a girl about to deliver a manifesto.
Enid, completely enthralled, leaned forward as far as she could without breaking free from Wednesday’s grip. “Okay, wait, I wanna hear this.”
Wednesday made a sharp, disapproving sound and pulled Enid right back against her lap before she could get any deeper into the madness. “You do not.”
Enid grinned. “I do.”
Meanwhile, Hana looked as though she were in physical pain. “Yoko. This is not happening right now.”
“Oh, but it is.”
Yoko’s hands moved animatedly as she fully stepped into her role as Waluigi’s Official Public Defender. Then, suddenly… she stood.
It wasn’t just standing; it was rising. Ascending. Like a prophet about to deliver a life-altering sermon, or a revolutionary leader stepping onto the world stage, or a lunatic realizing she had been given an audience too stunned — or too weak — to stop her.
“Waluigi,” she declared, her voice carrying the gravity of a courtroom verdict, “is a survivor.”
Hana groaned into her hands. “Oh my god.”
“He is a symbol of rebellion,” Yoko pressed on, undaunted. “An icon of ‘middle-finger-to-the-system’ energy. This man — this legend — has been left in the shadows for years. No solo game. No mainline story. Always relegated to side roles, to party games, to being the sidekick of the sidekick.”
She paused — a masterful orator giving the room time to absorb her words.
“And yet?” She let the silence stretch, letting the anticipation build. Then: “He endures.”
A pillow struck her in the face, bouncing off harmlessly, but the message was unmistakable.
“Oh my god,” Hana seethed. “You absolute clown.”
Yoko caught the pillow mid-air and tossed it to the floor without breaking eye contact, continuing her fervent expression.
“He has never had his own game. He has never had a storyline. Nintendo itself has attempted to erase his potential, reducing him to a mere footnote in Wario’s narrative. And yet?” Yoko inhaled, her voice shifting from theatrical to serious. “He still shows up. He still fights. He exists — out of pure spite alone.”
Wednesday, who had spent her entire life witnessing others fail spectacularly while arguing against absolute stupidity, exhaled through her nose.
“He does not exist out of spite,” she replied flatly. “He exists because Nintendo needed a doubles partner for Wario.”
Yoko’s head snapped toward her as if the very air around them had shifted.
“He is the human embodiment of persistence in a cruel, unfeeling world, Wednesday.” Her voice took on a grave tone. “He is a man of tragedy.”
Wednesday didn’t blink or react, simply staring at Yoko, utterly unimpressed. “He is a man in purple overalls with a concerningly long torso.”
Yoko didn’t hesitate or falter. “HE IS A MARTYR.”
Enid, practically vibrating with excitement, turned to Wednesday, eyes gleaming. “Okay, but, like, she has a point.”
Wednesday closed her eyes, inhaled, exhaled, and pressed two fingers to the bridge of her nose. It was over.
She had lost her soldier-husband to the trenches of war.
Yoko, still flustered, spun around and pointed directly at Divina. “Babe! Back me up here!”
Divina, completely engrossed in kart customization, didn’t even look up. “Mm. Yeah, sounds great, baby.”
Yoko’s expression fell. “Are you even listening to me?!”
Divina hummed, her gaze fixed on the screen. “Absolutely, love. Always.”
Enid snorted as she turned to Yoko. “Oh no. She’s gone. You lost her.”
Frantically, Yoko waved a hand in front of Divina’s face, desperate for attention. Divina swatted it away like an annoying fly, still absorbed in her own world and oblivious to Yoko’s evident distress.
“…Divina?” Yoko tried again, her voice now trembling with desperation. “Baby?”
Silence. No response. Divina was far too lost in her own thoughts.
Yoko slowly stepped back, placing a hand over her heart as if to steady herself. She took a shaky breath, her lips pressing into a thin, pained line.
Finally, she lifted her head. Her eyes were filled with emotional agony. “Oh my god.”
A pause hung in the air. She shook her head slowly, then spoke breathlessly, devastated: “This is it. This is the end.”
Wednesday, mildly curious, tilted her head. “The end of what?”
Yoko surveyed the room, her gaze sweeping over everyone. Then, with a somber seriousness, she declared, “I’m filing for divorce.”
Enid wheezed, collapsing back against Wednesday’s lap, exhausted from laughing.
Ajax made a confused sound — somewhere between a grunt and a question mark—still trying to comprehend what had just happened. Frustrated, Hana grabbed another pillow and hurled it at Yoko’s head.
Wednesday, entirely unfazed, continued to thread her fingers through Enid’s hair with the detached acceptance of a widow attending a particularly tacky funeral.
Meanwhile, Divina, still not looking up, hummed absently, her voice light as air. “That’s nice, honey.”
And that… that was the final betrayal.
Yoko had endured enough. She felt abandoned by her supposed girlfriend, publicly humiliated in front of their friends. She was forced to fight a battle alone while Divina stood by — untouched, unbothered, indifferent to her pain.
Yet, despite everything, Yoko clung to a fragile hope.
At the very least, she thought Divina would choose a character that made sense.
This, of course, was a mistake.
Divina, entirely focused on customizing her color palette, flipped through the character selection screen with no thought in her head. One hand tapped the controller lazily while the other was occupied with her phone.
No strategy. No consideration. Just pure, unfiltered chaos. A girl seconds away from unknowingly altering the course of history.
Then… the cursor stopped. A delicate chime echoed through the room.
Yoko, despite everything that had transpired, turned her head slowly and hesitantly.
She allowed herself one last flicker of hope.
Perhaps — just maybe — there would be relief. Perhaps she had misjudged Divina. Perhaps—
Her eyes landed on the screen.
Baby Peach.
Yoko went rigid. Her pupils dilated. Her fingers twitched, an instinctual reaction akin to a soldier taking critical damage from an unseen sniper.
Then, very quietly, she exhaled. “No.”
The word slipped from her lips softly, gently — like the last breath of a man succumbing to his wounds on the battlefield.
Again, it came, more raw, more shattered: “No. No, no, no, Divina, you did not just pick Baby Peach.”
For the first time in ten minutes, Divina looked up. She blinked at Yoko, then at the screen, then back at Yoko.
“Oh,” she said with a casual nod. “Yeah. That’s me.”
Yoko let out a sound — low and guttural, emerging from the very depths of her soul. “That’s you?”
Divina nodded again, entirely unfazed. “Yeah.”
Yoko inhaled deeply. Regulate. Regulate. Stay calm. This is salvageable. “…Why?”
Divina, still relaxed, shrugged. “She matched my kart.”
Silence. The pain on Yoko’s face was immense, monumental.
It was the kind of anguish that should be painted on cathedral ceilings, immortalized in sculpture, analyzed in textbooks under The Five Stages of Betrayal.
She closed her eyes, drew a slow, measured breath, and shook her head, as if physically rejecting reality itself.
Ajax, in what he likely thought was an attempt to be helpful, squinted at the screen. “Wait…” He frowned. “Isn’t Baby Peach just, like… Peach, but a baby?”
Yoko turned to him violently. “NO, AJAX.” Her voice shook with fury. “SHE IS NOT JUST PEACH, BUT A BABY. SHE IS A LORE NIGHTMARE.”
Ajax blinked slowly, processing Yoko’s meltdown as if it were an unsolvable equation. “…How?”
“BECAUSE—” Yoko’s hands flailed wildly, her entire body vibrating with existential distress. “SHE SHOULD NOT EXIST. Why is she racing against her future self?! Why is she allowed to interact with regular Peach?! This is a timeline disaster! A paradox!”
Divina, still relaxed despite the chaos unfolding beside her, barely glanced up. “It’s reincarnation.”
Yoko stopped breathing. Hana clamped a hand over her mouth, her entire body shaking as she fought against uncontrollable laughter.
“Oh no,” Enid gasped, gleeful beyond reason. “She’s going off-script.”
Wednesday, mildly impressed now, leaned back slightly, tilting her head. “Interesting strategy.”
Yoko, however, was not impressed. She was suffering. “You cannot just say that—”
“Yeah, like,” Divina continued, completely unfazed, “Baby Peach is just, like, the spirit of Peach sent back in time to warn her younger self about her future.”
Silence. Absolute. Deafening. Then, Yoko recoiled, her head jerking back as if she had taken a direct hit to the chest.
“WHAT?!”
Divina, blissfully unaware of the chaos she had just unleashed, nodded serenely. “Yeah. That’s why she’s in the race. She’s trying to alter fate.”
Hana collapsed onto the couch, wheezing and gasping for air, her shoulders shaking violently. Enid, completely gone, pounded the armrest with her cast, producing a series of dull thuds as she laughed hysterically. Even Wednesday — who had long accepted the absurdity of this room — let out a faint smirk.
But Yoko? Yoko looked ill. “You… you actually believe that?” she whispered, her voice trembling as though she were witnessing something irreparably broken.
Divina shrugged, serene and unbothered. “Yeah.”
Yoko inhaled sharply, gripping her knees as if trying to contain herself from flipping the coffee table. “…Divina.”
“Mm?”
“…Do you know anything about Mario?”
Divina took a slow, casual sip of her soda, so unfazed it was almost impressive. “Yeah. Obviously.”
Yoko’s eyes narrowed, suspicion etched on her face. “Name a single Mario game.”
Divina tilted her head, thoughtful. “…Halo?”
Hana slid off the couch — not fell, but slid — completely boneless, spent, crying, and hitting the floor in a heap of wheezing, breathless defeat. Enid was gone, her entire body shaking as she curled into Wednesday’s lap, dissolving into laughter.
Even Ajax — still struggling to grasp most of the conversation — turned slowly to the only person in the room he believed was rational. “...Wait.” He frowned. “Isn’t Halo… Xbox?”
To his surprise, even Wednesday, who had never touched a video game in her life, nodded.
Enid, barely able to breathe, wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “I— I think she just combined every game she’s ever heard of into one.”
Yoko let out a long, pained exhale, turning her gaze skyward as if pleading for divine intervention. Then, slowly, she turned back to Divina and spoke softly, anguished, as if witnessing the collapse of civilization itself. “...You think Mario is an Xbox game?”
Divina, cool as ever, nodded. “Yeah.”
Yoko emitted a low, strangled noise — somewhere between a wheeze and a desperate cry for help. Mechanically, she turned to Wednesday.
Wednesday arched an eyebrow. “I can’t save you.”
Yoko groaned, rubbing her hands down her face, visibly grieving in real time. “I cannot believe this is my night.”
Divina, still scrolling through her phone as if she hadn’t just shattered Yoko’s entire worldview, hummed thoughtfully. “I mean, we could get back together if you apologize.”
Yoko froze, her expression flickering between genuine consideration and unimaginable pain. Then, arms crossed and jaw tightening, she muttered, “...I need a minute.”
Still, she remained frozen, hands pressed to her face, utterly wrecked in a way that suggested deep, life-altering regret. Meanwhile, Divina — completely unbothered — continued adjusting her aesthetic settings, oblivious to how she had just revealed herself to be the most ignorant Mario player in history.
Enid was still curled up against Wednesday’s lap, shaking with laughter, her chest rising and falling in sharp little gasps as she fought to recover. Then Ajax, sweet, doomed Ajax, glanced at the screen and spoke the words that would forever seal his fate.
“Oh, sick,” he said, moving the cursor with the confidence of a man entirely unaware of the chaos he was about to unleash. “I call Yoshi.”
The selection hovered. Ajax nodded, entirely satisfied—like a fool who had just unknowingly walked straight into hell.
Enid bolted upright. “Oh hell no.”
Her cast thudded against the couch as she lunged for her remote, exhaustion obliterated by true injustice. Her cursor shot across the screen and slammed onto Yoshi, button-mashing with the ferocity of a woman scorned.
A new jingle played. Yoshi was now hers.
Ajax gasped, staggering back as though he had suffered a mortal wound. One hand clutched his chest in sheer betrayal. “Enid,” he hissed.
She turned to him, utterly shameless, her bright, radiant smile almost offensively satisfied. “What’s up?”
Ajax’s mouth opened and closed in a silent struggle for words. His expression wavered between that of a wounded puppy and a man realizing, in real time, that his most trusted friend had embezzled his entire fortune and left him to rot.
“I— You—” He shook his head frantically, searching for reason, for justice, for meaning in the madness. He glanced back at the screen, hoping — praying — that he had imagined it, that this was not real, that the game had somehow glitched and spared him.
But no. It was real. And it was cruel. “You stole Yoshi.”
“I claimed Yoshi,” Enid corrected, beaming. “There’s a difference.”
“I always play Yoshi!” Ajax protested, his voice cracking, hands flailing in desperation. “Yoshi is, like, mine!”
“Not anymore.” Enid patted her knee, her eyes sparkling with delight. “Guess you gotta pick someone else, champ.”
Ajax sputtered, scanning the room for help. He felt like he was drowning, reaching for a lifeline, desperate for justice. His gaze landed on Wednesday — wide-eyed, pleading, begging for some form of intervention.
Wednesday, who had remained silent throughout the exchange, watching the conversation unfold with the careful, clinical precision of a cat observing its prey, finally spoke. Her voice was low and steady — too calm.
“…Ajax.”
He froze.
“If you complain,” she murmured, “I will forge a legal document stating that you, Ajax Petropolus, are the sole heir to a Swiss bank account linked to thirty-seven shell companies, all flagged for financial crimes of such high magnitude that several international intelligence agencies will be alerted the moment you breathe near an ATM.”
Ajax visibly short-circuited. “Wait— what—”
“If you so much as whine,” Wednesday continued, her voice smooth and unwavering, “I will ensure that every single road near your apartment is suddenly and permanently under construction. Every route — closed. Every detour — delayed. Every attempt to go somewhere in a timely manner—” she tilted her head slightly, her dark eyes blazing, “—jackhammers. Outside your window. Five in the morning.”
A horrified sound escaped Ajax’s throat. “No— wait—that’s evil—”
“If you ever speak of this injustice again,” she continued, unfazed, “I will personally arrange for every single item you’ve considered buying online — every sneaker, every vintage collectible, every discounted tech deal — to be purchased before you can check out.”
She let her words settle before delivering the final blow. “By one account. An account that watches you. An account that knows your desires — but will never let you have them.”
A cold sweat broke out on Ajax’s forehead. “Wednesday—”
“And then,” she said smoothly, “I will slowly return them to resale websites at four times the original price.”
Ajax swayed slightly, his eyes unfocused. “You monster—”
“And if you ever attempt to buy one anyway,” she murmured, “I will make sure the package is delivered to the wrong address.” She met his gaze, perfectly composed. “Every time.”
Then Wednesday blinked once and leaned back, completely at ease.
Ajax, now several shades paler, turned toward the TV, silent and shaky. He moved his cursor, hovering for a moment — just long enough to accept his fate. Then, without a word, he selected Luigi.
The room felt like a psychological wasteland.
Ajax sat completely still, his face ashen, hands gripping the controller like a lifeline, his thumbs hovering over the buttons, as if even the act of playing was now tainted by what had just transpired. His distant, vacant stare reflected a man who had technically survived — but would never be the same again.
Yoko, despite her own emotional devastation from Divina’s Halo-Baby-Peach-Xbox disaster, was gleefully revived by Ajax’s complete downfall.
She let out a wheezing, gasping laugh, wiping at her eyes. “Dude, I— I actually think you just lost ten years off your life.”
Ajax gave a slow, hollow nod, his voice weak and distant. “I feel like I did.” His hands trembled slightly as he settled on Luigi, as if signing away his final will and testament.
Meanwhile, Enid, still curled against Wednesday’s lap, turned to look up at her, her gaze filled with newfound reverence — the kind reserved for witnessing something beyond human comprehension.
“Babe,” she whispered, a mix of admiration and mild fear lacing her voice. “That was, like… weirdly hot.”
Wednesday, entirely unfazed — by the compliment, or by the psychological obliteration she had just inflicted — simply hummed. “I know.”
And that was that. For a moment, there was a lull—one of those rare, staggering pauses where everyone sat in the wreckage of what had just occurred, trying to piece together their shattered minds and regain their footing after the social carnage that had unfolded.
But something was still unresolved: the final piece of the puzzle. Wednesday had yet to pick her character.
The realization hit all at once, like a switch flipping in the room. Yoko sat up, Hana’s brow furrowed, and even Ajax — still reeling from the wreckage of his own downfall — managed to look vaguely curious. Divina, still idly scrolling on her phone, finally paused and glanced toward Wednesday with mild interest.
But Enid... Enid was already there. She grinned, shifting slightly in Wednesday’s lap to face the others.
“Okay, okay, before she makes her choice,” she said, her eyes glinting with a dangerous spark of chaos, “let’s guess what she’ll pick.”
Yoko's face lit up as if she had just been given a second chance at life. “Oh hell yes!”
“Oh my god, we’re placing bets,” Hana immediately agreed, adjusting her seat as if getting comfortable.
Even Ajax — deep in his own grief — managed to perk up slightly, blinking away his trauma just long enough to say, “Oh wait, this is actually fun.”
Enid turned to Wednesday, excitement evident in her voice. “You okay with this, Wends?”
Wednesday's dark gaze swept across the group, her expression unreadable, as she assessed them. She calculated exactly how much she could emotionally devastate them in one move. “…Proceed.”
And just like that, the room erupted.
“She’s picking Bowser,” Yoko declared, leaning forward. “There’s no way Wednesday wouldn’t choose a huge, fire-breathing menace who terrorizes people for fun.”
“No, no, no— wrong,” Hana interrupted immediately, shaking her head. “She’d obviously pick Dry Bones— quiet, efficient, indestructible—”
“Wrong again!” Enid exclaimed, pointing aggressively at both of them. “It’s Shy Guy! He’s small, creepy, and hides his face— like that’s Wednesday.”
“Oh, you’re all idiots,” Ajax sighed, shaking his head with a disappointment that only someone who had seen true darkness could possess. “It’s obviously Wario.”
Silence fell. Every head turned.
“Wario?” Yoko repeated slowly, as if he had just suggested something sacrilegious.
Ajax nodded, firm in his conviction. “Yeah. He’s mean as hell but weirdly successful.” He gestured toward Wednesday, as if presenting a thesis. “I mean, come on. Tell me that isn’t her.”
Wednesday blinked once. Then, with the deliberate precision of someone about to alter the course of history, she reached for the controller.
A click. A single, soft jingle. The screen updated.
Peach.
The room flatlined. It wasn’t just quiet; it was silent — horrifically, existentially silent. The kind of silence that stretched into infinity, settling into the walls and seeping into the very fabric of reality. The kind of silence that follows catastrophe, revelation, something so fundamentally world-shattering that the universe itself needed a moment to process it.
Hana looked physically ill. Ajax wore the blank, unfocused stare of someone who had just been told that gravity no longer existed. Yoko had gone completely still, staring at the screen like a woman who had just witnessed a god bleed.
“…No,” Yoko whispered.
Hana inhaled sharply, shaking her head, denial etched across her face. “Wait. Wait. What the hell just happened?”
“I—” Ajax began, but then fell silent, his voice dying in his throat.
Divina, still scrolling on her phone, hummed. “Oh, cute. She matches with Baby Peach.”
Yoko jerked in shock, nearly falling off the couch. “SHUT UP,” she hissed, vibrating with agitation as she pointed wildly at Wednesday. “YOU? YOU PICKED PEACH?”
Wednesday remained composed and unbothered, unfazed by the chaos around her. She simply raised an eyebrow. “Yes.”
Yoko threw her arms in the air. “WHY?!”
Enid had completely collapsed, her forehead pressed into Wednesday’s thigh as she gasped for breath, overwhelmed. This was far worse than anything they had predicted.
As if she hadn’t just shattered their fragile perception of the universe, Wednesday tilted her head calmly. “She is regal,” she said coolly. “Composed. Underestimated by her enemies.” A pause — a moment of sharp silence — before she delivered the final blow: “And she wears pink.”
Yoko wheezed. Hana fell sideways. Ajax put his head in his hands. Enid, still grinning like she had just won a secret war, poked Wednesday’s stomach, her voice giddy.
“Baby,” she murmured, “am I rubbing off on you?”
Wednesday didn’t respond, only smirked.
Then, before anyone could recover or the dust could settle, the screen dimmed. It flickered black for half a second, creating an eerie silence before—
Rainbow Road.
The unmistakable, soul-crushing notes filled the air, and everyone froze.
Yoko flinched. Hana exhaled sharply. Ajax let out a guttural noise — something dark and primal. Enid, despite her history of suffering through this godforsaken track, perked up, turning to Wednesday with pure curiosity.
“Wait, who picked Rainbow Roa—”
“I did,” Wednesday interrupted, hitting start before anyone could stop her. The horrified silence that followed was so profoundly unholy it could have been bottled and sold as a horror experience.
Yoko stared at the screen as if she had just been sentenced to death. She exhaled shakily. “Why?”
Wednesday barely looked up. “Enid is concerningly fond of colors,” she replied, adjusting her grip on the controller with the careful precision of someone preparing for war. “I thought she would enjoy the aesthetics.”
Enid, fully aware of the chaos Rainbow Road would unleash, still beamed and nudged Wednesday’s knee. “Aww, babe.”
“Enid, you are a masochist,” Ajax muttered, gripping his controller like a man bracing for impact.
And then… The countdown began.
Three. Two. One. Go!
The karts lurched forward, a blur of neon chaos, wheels screeching as the track curved into the endless, gravity-defying void. Immediately, all sense of order collapsed.
Yoko swerved violently within the first three seconds, narrowly avoiding a deadly plunge. Her grip tightened on the controller, her knuckles turning white. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit—”
Hana screeched as her kart drifted too sharply, clipping the edge and sending her spiraling into oblivion before she even reached the first major turn. “I hate this game. I hate this game. I hate this game—”
Divina, blissfully unconcerned, reclined on the couch. One hand casually held the remote while the other scrolled through her phone. Her Baby Peach kart glided effortlessly over the track — like some divine anomaly.
But the worst — the most egregious act of sabotage — was Ajax, completely focused and locked in, instinctively settling into his usual rhythm: slow and steady. Warm up. Get into the zone.
He had done this before. He had a plan. He was safe. Then… out of nowhere, a green shell rocketed through the air, hitting him squarely. There was a sharp crack of impact, followed by a comically tragic spin-out. His kart flipped end over end and careened off the track, gone.
Ajax gasped — a full-body, theatrical gasp, the kind reserved for soap operas, last-minute betrayals, or the final acts of a Shakespearean tragedy.
“ENID,” he howled, jerking forward as if shot.
Enid, clearly prepared for this moment, let out a delighted giggle, tilting her head at him like a Disney villain. “Ohhh nooo,” she cooed, offering no pretense of remorse. “Did I do that?”
Ajax pointed at her, shaking with disbelief. “You— you— why would you do that?!”
“Oh, my bad.” Enid didn’t even glance at him as her fingers clicked rapidly, boosting past another opponent and expertly drifting around a corner, her injured arm not slowing her down in the least.
Ajax’s mouth opened, then closed, only to open again, his expression one of devastation. “YOU HAVE ONE HAND— HOW ARE YOU EVEN DOING THIS?”
“I am a god,” Enid sang, flipping her golden hair she tilted her controller, leaning into it as if she were truly in the driver’s seat.
Yoko let out a breathy cackle, her kart dangerously close to falling off. “Holy shit, Ajax, she’s styling on you right now.”
“This is so humiliating,” Hana wheezed, gasping for air with one hand pressed to her chest. “This is so much worse than if she just won normally.”
Still reeling, Ajax dragged a hand down his face as his character was airlifted back onto the track by Lakitu. “No, no, no, this is personal. That was targeted. That was a war crime.”
Enid shrugged, unbothered. “It’s just the game, babe.”
Ajax snapped his head toward her, wide-eyed. “You knew that was me. You waited until I was in range.”
“Oh, for sure,” Enid replied readily, not denying it.
Yoko wheezed, barely maintaining control of her own kart. “I love you.”
Ajax released a wordless, strangled sound, gripping his remote as if he might snap it in half. Then… everything got worse.
While Enid actively betrayed her friends, while Yoko barely hung on, while Hana broke down over Rainbow Road’s structural failures, while Ajax mourned the loss of his dignity—
Wednesday was winning. Wednesday, who had never played before. Wednesday, who had scarcely glanced at the instructions. Wednesday, who had casually chosen Peach as if selecting a fine wine from a menu.
She was already climbing the leaderboard, showing no hesitation, no faltering, and no messy button-mashing. Every move was executed with silent, focused efficiency—calculated with surgical precision.
Hana stole a glance at her screen, then did a double take before letting out an alarmed laugh. “Oh my god—” she gasped. “She’s actually terrifying.”
Yoko straightened up, her eyes darting to Wednesday’s screen just in time to see her perfectly time a red shell, strike Bowser with uncanny accuracy, and execute a boost over a treacherous gap as if she had designed the game herself.
No hesitation. No wasted movements. She wasn’t just skilled; she was efficient.
“Holy fuck,” Yoko muttered, dumbfounded. “She’s, like… assassinating people.”
“She’s sniping them,” Hana whispered, her gaze fixed on the screen as if witnessing the rise of a dictator in real time.
Already traumatized, Ajax glanced at Wednesday’s screen just in time to see her launch a green shell that ricocheted off the track barrier, obliterating Luigi with military precision — his Luigi. Ajax watched as his character flipped off the track, spinning violently into the abyss.
He let out the most devastated sound of his life — a noise that transcended pain itself.
Wednesday didn’t acknowledge it. She didn’t blink. She didn’t pause. She simply kept playing.
Silent. Unfazed. Merciless.
“No,” Ajax whimpered, his face visibly pale and hands trembling.
Yoko clutched her head, deeply disturbed. “She’s not even playing for fun. She’s executing a military operation.”
Hana gasped for breath, horrified as Wednesday wiped out yet another opponent with zero emotion. “This truly is a war crime.”
Enid, to her credit, was fully losing her mind, pressing her forehead into Wednesday’s shoulder as if she couldn't comprehend what was happening. “Babe, I—” she choked, laughing so hard she couldn’t finish her thought.
And finally — finally — Wednesday spoke, calm and unfazed. “Weak opponents deserve no mercy.”
The room, already charged with dangerously unhinged energy, intensified from there.
Ajax was in full breakdown mode, gripping his controller like a lifeline, his face contorted in pure, agonized horror as Wednesday eliminated competitors with uncanny precision. Yoko was aggressively monologuing, pacing the room like a conspiracy theorist, wildly gesturing at the screen and ranting about Waluigi’s erasure from the franchise while hurling red shells at Ajax out of spite. Hana had long since abandoned any pretense of gameplay, simply screaming each time she accidentally launched herself into the abyss.
And Enid? She was thriving.
“OH MY GOD, WEDNESDAY,” she howled, half-collapsing against Wednesday’s shoulder, her body shaking with laughter. “You— you’re not even trying to win; you’re just slaughtering people!”
Wednesday neither looked at her nor acknowledged the chaos. She merely fired another shell and watched silently as yet another player spiraled off the track and into oblivion.
Then, the door swung open.
Bianca, Eugene, and Thing stepped inside, arms full of food, expecting a scene of relative normalcy. Instead, they were met with a battlefield.
Ajax appeared as if he had just barely survived a natural disaster, curled in on himself and begging for mercy. Yoko was in the middle of a full-blown TED Talk about Rainbow Road’s structural failures and government corruption in the Mario Kart universe. Hana was cackling hysterically as she deliberately threw herself off the track, eager to end her own suffering.
And Wednesday… Wednesday remained eerily calm, her Peach kart mercilessly eliminating competitors with the cold, clinical efficiency of a trained assassin.
Bianca stopped in the doorway. Eugene froze mid-step. After a brief pause, Bianca reached into one of the takeout bags, pulled out a bottle of wine, and popped the cap with her teeth.
“I knew we shouldn’t have come back,” she muttered, taking a long sip.
Thing, however, was unfazed. He crawled onto the couch, grabbed a controller, and without warning or hesitation, immediately began to dominate everyone.
Yoko let out an inhuman screech as her Waluigi kart was obliterated, her body jerking forward in shock. Ajax gasped, hands shaking as he tried — and failed — to recover from the devastation Thing had just unleashed on his already struggling Luigi.
Hana slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. “What the fuck?”
Enid lit up, her eyes shining as Thing’s cursor flashed across the screen like an unstoppable force of nature. “No fucking way,” she breathed. “He’s a god.”
And he was. Thing wasn’t merely competing in Mario Kart as any playable character; he was on an entirely different plane of existence.
Every item throw was flawless. Every drift was pixel-perfect. Every opponent was eliminated without mercy. And the worst part? He made it all look effortless, as if it were second nature to him.
The entire time, he just sat there. Silent. Still. A single hand wiping out every player with no remorse.
“I—” Ajax choked, watching in horror as Thing effortlessly bounced a shell off a wall and sniped him mid-air. “He’s not even trying.”
Wednesday, who had been dominating the game moments before, narrowed her eyes and tilted her head, as if seeing a worthy adversary for the first time. Then, in a final, heart-stopping moment—
Enid — against all odds and despite Thing’s absolute tyranny — barely won. Her kart crossed the finish line a fraction of a second before Thing’s. The screen erupted in a blinding flash of Mario characters celebrating.
Hana sprang off the couch, screaming. Yoko tossed her controller in the air, howling. Ajax fell backward, arms flailing as if he had just witnessed a miracle. Bianca, mid-sip of wine, froze and stared, trying to process what had just happened.
Enid shot up, ignoring her injury, and screamed at the top of her lungs, “LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOO!”
Amid the chaos and mayhem in the room, Wednesday simply tilted her head. Observing Enid’s victory celebration, she remarked, “…Acceptable.”
At that moment, Enid Sinclair realized she had officially peaked in life.
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